The Myth Of Control

If you don't think control is a myth, control the next thought from popping into your head. Find out how to outgrow the myth in this mini podcast.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

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Transcript

The Myth of Control

You know, this may not be the truth, but it sure feels like it: one of the biggest myths in life is the idea that we’re actually in control.

From what I’ve seen, it tends to be a bigger myth for men than for women . . . but let’s put on our honesty hats. Control doesn’t discriminate. Anyone can fall for it.

Think about what we’re really trying to control. It’s reality itself — that which is. And if we ever stop long enough to see that, we’d probably double over laughing at the absurdity. But instead of laughing, most of us just double down and try to control the next thing that’s completely uncontrollable.

Here’s a pretty good sign you’re tangled up in control: you can’t stand being told what to do. That usually comes straight out of childhood — that leftover sense of “nobody can tell me to do anything.”

That reminds me of a story.

My teacher, Dr. Dave Dobson, used to run us through this exercise. He’d ask us to imagine ourselves in a moment where someone was telling us what to do — and really feel that rebellion rise up within us. When it maxed out, he’d have us look down at the palm of our hands . . . and laugh out loud.

It was a pattern interrupt. We were seeing the “I can’t be told what to do” script running in our minds — and breaking it with laughter.

Because the reality is, no matter who you are — the President of the United States or the richest person alive — there will always be someone who can tell you what to do.

Which leads me to another story.

Years ago, when I was doing a radio talk show, we had a regular caller named Larry. Larry’s mission in life was proving that income tax was illegal. And listen, he had all the arguments lined up — the same ones people still make today.

But what Larry never saw was what his fight was doing to him. He was always angry. Constantly. And he had heart problems that he never connected to the stress he was generating by pushing up against reality.

His fight wasn’t really with the government. It was with his own refusal to be told what to do. The tax system just happened to be the battlefield he chose. If it hadn’t been taxes, he would’ve found something else.

Now — let me be clear — this isn’t me saying you shouldn’t stand up to oppression. Not at all. It’s a reminder that your mission shouldn’t cost you your mental well-being or your health.

I think of that heartbreaking incident years ago when a man burned down his house and flew his plane into an IRS office in Texas. In his mind, that was “taking control.” He believed he had no other option. And that belief cost him his life — and the lives of innocent people.

And it reminds me of one more story.

A long time ago, I spoke about New Hampshire’s state motto: “Live Free or Die.” It’s one of the most controlling statements I've ever heard. It basically says, “If I can’t control the situation, I’d rather die.”Where’s the option to stay alive and figure out another way to be free? That takes patience — something people obsessed with control usually don’t have.

Listen, I have no issue with people being passionate about the things they believe in. Passion is great.

The problem is believing you can control reality. You can’t. None of us can. And when we try, we suffer.

Suffering is simply the cost of trying to control what is.

You’d do yourself — and whatever cause you care about — a huge favor by pausing long enough to laugh at the idea that you’re in control . . . and then refocus on something that doesn’t depend on controlling reality.

You’ll live longer. And you’ll get more done.

All the best,

John