Better Or Worst?

Be careful when using superlative or comparative words . . . unless you want to wind up in an argument.

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Transcript

Best Or Worst?

Our language is filled with comparatives and superlatives—words like better and best.

They’re so ingrained, we’re probably never going to stop using them. Which means we’ve also signed ourselves up for arguments . . . pretty much forever.

Because when we say something is better or best, we tend to think we’re stating a fact—when, in reality, we’re just offering an opinion.

And inevitably, someone else has a better “fact.”That’s when the sparks start flying.

For example—I could die a perfectly happy death without ever watching another hockey game. Still, even I have no problem saying Wayne Gretzky is the best hockey player who ever lived.

But say that out loud and wait three seconds.

“What about Lemieux?”“Orr?”“Gordie Howe?”“Lafleur?”“And how about Bobby Clarke from Philly?”

Better and best start up a kind of perpetual motion machine—one that runs entirely on arguments and counterarguments.

The same thing happens with the negative superlative: worst.

For instance . . .“The worst movies I’ve ever seen star Steven Seagal—except Above the Law.”

And with that sentence, I’ve just risked getting pummeled by his legion of fans.

So here’s a simple way to save yourself a beating—verbal or otherwise—and to make it clear you’re sharing an opinion, not declaring a fact.

Use some version of the magic phrase: “To me.”

“To me, the best show on TV is How I Met Your Great Aunt Sally.”

People will still disagree with you—but it’s far less likely to escalate when you’ve labeled it as an opinion instead of a proclamation.

“To my way of thinking, there’s nothing better than Dancing with the B-Listers.” That’s much more likely to lead to an exchange of opinions . . . rather than a rhubarb. (And isn’t rhubarb a great word?)

So try it out. Notice how often you use comparatives and superlatives, and then just add “to me” to the mix.

I’d tell you it’s the best way to communicate—but I know better.

All the best,

John