Passenger Or Participant?

Which is you? A passenger or participant in your relationships. Your role plays a part in how long your relationship will last.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
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• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

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Transcript

Passenger or Participant?

So let me ask you something.

In your relationships . . . are you a passenger, or are you a participant?

Your answer tells a pretty revealing story.

You’ve probably heard the sports term “team player.” That’s someone who puts the team’s goals ahead of their own. They show up. They lean in. They participate.

Now contrast that with the person who joins a team but keeps their own agenda front and center. Their involvement is conditional. Transactional. They’re not really in it—they’re just along for the ride.

That’s a passenger.

The average marriage in the U.S. lasts about seven and a half years before divorce. Maybe that’s where the phrase “the seven-year itch” came from.

I don’t have hard data on this—but I’m comfortable making an educated guess: in many of those shorter-term unions, one—or both—people were passengers, not participants.

The partnerships that last aren’t always a perfect fifty-fifty. But both people have skin in the game. They honor the vows—for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health.

In plain language? They work at it.

If you’re the type who likes to set it and forget it, you might want to forget about relationships altogether—because that approach makes you a passenger on a very short ride.

Being a participant means making room for another person—and allowing them to make room for you. Without that, it’s probably unwise to say, “Let’s move in together,” or “I do.”

One of the hallmarks of a true participant is this: they have their partner’s back.

That’s right up there with love and respect.

Without support, the beams holding the structure together fall down—and before long, the whole thing collapses and leaves town.

So here’s a tried and true relationship hint:

When you support the other person, you can’t help but be a participant.

All the best,

John