Stop The Scapegoat Excuse

The word addiction has become a scapegoat for behavior. It has to stop.

 Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

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Transcript

Stop The Scapegoat Excuse

Years ago, I read — with real amusement at first — that actor David Duchovny had entered treatment for what was being called “sex addiction.”

Now, to be clear, the amusement wasn’t about a man seeking help. If something in your life is causing pain — to you,  your spouse, your kids, the people around you — you should deal with it.

What stopped me cold was something else.

It was the group of very smart, very credentialed people who sat around, and slapped a label on that behavior, and said, Ah. Addiction.

And the more I thought about it, the less funny it became. It’s not amusing at all. It’s sad.

Because this habit we have — of taking patterns of behavior and dropping them into a bucket called “addiction” — does two things that are completely counter-productive.

First, It puts an imaginary limitation of the person with the problem.

Second, it ties the hands of the people trying to help them by framing the problem in a way that dodges responsibility.

Because buried inside that word — addiction — is a belief system. And it sounds like this:

“I’m not responsible.”“I didn’t do it.”“My addiction did it.”

Please. Let’s stop.

At some point, what we’re really doing is enabling people who refuse to own their behavior.

And this is why there are so many lawyer jokes. And psychiatrist jokes. And therapist jokes.

A few practitioners — not all, but a few — poison the well by offering the most seductive defense imaginable: It wasn’t really you.

And the worst part? A portion of society starts to buy it.

Picture this:

“Your Honor, my client drove his car into another vehicle and killed four people. But he was addicted to alcohol, so he couldn’t help himself. He needs treatment your honor, not jail time.”

If you just laughed at that defense, good. You should.

But hang out in a courtroom sometime. Or talk to a few attorney friends. You’ll hear versions of that argument more often than you’d ever guess.

Look — by all means, address your personal situation. Get help. Ask for support.

Just don’t hide behind the word addiction.

It doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t serve the people who love you. And it certainly doesn’t serve society.

In this case, the spin was that David Duchovny didn’t sleep around because he wanted to. Oh no — he just couldn’t help himself. He was addicted.

So where does that end?

“I’m addicted to robbing people at ATM machines.” That doesn’t feel all that far away if we keep going down this road.

Here’s a question.

What’s your immediate reaction when someone tells you a bald faced lie — and both of you know it’s a lie?

That tightening you feel. That internal come on.That’s the exact feeling I get when someone hides a jackass by sending out a scapegoat.

All the best,

John