How To Stay Stuck

You can insure staying  stuck by doing this one thing. Find out what that one thing is in this mini podcast.

 Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

John uploads these podcasts on a regular basis. So check back often to hear these podcasts heard around the world. Who wants to be the next person to change? 

Make sure to order a copy of John's new book: WISDOM OF THE GRASSHOPPER – 21 Days to Creativity. These mini-meditations take you inside where all your creative resources live. And you'll come out not only refreshed but recommitted to creating your future. 

It's only $16.95 and available at BLURB.COM at the link below. https://www.blurb.com/b/10239673-wisd...

Also, download John's FREE book INTER RUPTION: The Magic Key To Lasting Change. It's available at John's website  https://GrasshopperNotes.com

Transcript

How To Stay Stuck

It’s gotta be decades ago, The Grasshopper said something to me that I’ve never forgotten:

“Seeking validation for the way you are keeps you the way you are.”

That one hit home.

Because it’s true.

If I can find a reason for my shortcoming — and then get you to agree with me about it — well now I’ve formed a club. And that club becomes a wall. And that wall keeps me safely protected from . . . progress.

I was flying on a business trip once and met a young couple. Really sweet. She was a teacher. He was a recruiter. We got to talking and I mentioned that I taught seminars on smoking cessation and weight loss.

Her eyes lit up.

She asked great questions. Thoughtful questions.

Then she said, “I don’t really need to lose weight, but I do have some negative family issues around food that keep me from eating healthier.”

And then — she turned to her husband and said, “He knows what I’m talking about.”

That moment was fascinating to me.Not because she had food issues. Most of us do. Our early caregivers passed along their preferences, their anxieties, their prejudices. That’s just how it works.

But here’s what was more interesting than important:

She wasn’t looking for a solution.

She was looking for validation.

Now listen — the reason you got here might be interesting. It might even be understandable. But the way forward isn’t determined by how you got here.

It’s determined by how you get from here to where you want to go.

You are already here.

There's no need to go back and get here again.

When we search for justification, it’s like looking through a telescope backwards. Everything gets smaller. Distorted. Far away from where we need to focus.

It reminds me of another situation.

A friend of mine was struggling with her teenage daughter. The daughter had moved in with her father and was acting out in more ways than I can list. My friend blamed her ex-husband for allowing the behavior.

I suggested she and the ex sit down together — put aside their differences — and figure out how to help their daughter.

But every time the conversation drifted back to who was at fault, the focus shifted.

It stopped being about the daughter.

It became about them.

That’s how easy it is to lose the forward path.

Searching for a scapegoat is like planting seeds in a field that won’t grow crops. Nothing comes of it.

Real growth starts in the current moment.

Not in blame. Not in justification. Not in assembling a jury to rule in your favor.

The fastest way to derail progress is to argue for your position instead of evaluating your options.

Now — let me soften this a bit.

When people argue for their limitations, they’re usually not just looking for validation.

They’re looking for acknowledgment of their pain.

They want someone to see they're hurting.

That’s human.

But here’s the caution: if you let that story go on longer than about five minutes, you’re no longer helping. You’re reinforcing.

You might be a good listener.

You might even be a good friend.

But you’re helping them stay stuck.

How you got here? That’s for historians.

Where you go from here? That’s action.

And action is how you make new history — instead of reiterating and defending the old one.

All the best,

John