Sleep In Separate Beds

If you're married to a philosophy that's set in cement, you have a stale mate.

 Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
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• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

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Transcript

Sleep In Separate Beds

Now before you start thinking I’m handing out marriage advice . . . relax. That’s not where this is going.

The longer version of the title is actually: If you’re married to a philosophy . . . at least sleep in separate beds.

Yeah . . . that’s where this is headed.

Everybody’s got a philosophy. Whether we realize it or not, we all have our own take on how things are supposed to work.

And somewhere along the way, we do something a little dangerous . . .

We take a great date . . . and turn it into a lousy marriage.

My mother-in-law had this expression about young people. She’d say, “They’re trying on new hats.”

I always loved that. Because it’s true—when we’re younger, we try things on. Ideas, beliefs, ways of looking at the world . . . seeing what fits.

We’re building a philosophy.

But then – at some point – we find one we like . . . and we marry it.

Set it . . . and forget it.

And that’s usually when the trouble starts.

It reminds me of a story about my father.

My dad was a bricklayer by trade. Knew his stuff – cold. Lived it.

Years ago, he was visiting, and I asked him about putting in a brick walkway from the driveway to the house.

He said, “Great idea . . . but don’t use cement.”

I said—what?

This is a guy who preached bricks and mortar his entire life . . . and now he’s telling me not to cement them in place?

He said, “Use coarse sand.”

Because when—not if—but when a brick gets loose . . . and it will . . . sand makes it easy to fix. Cement? Now you’ve got a problem.

And I remember thinking . . . wow . . . this isn’t about bricks, is it?

That’s philosophy.

When your philosophy is set in cement . . . you’re stuck. You can’t adjust. You can’t even consider that there might be a better way.

And you see this reality everywhere.

Just look at the gridlock in politics. That’s not a lack of intelligence—that’s cement.

Nobody’s budging.

Now I’m not here to tell you to change your philosophy. That usually just makes people dig in deeper.

But maybe . . .

just maybe . . .

we keep it a little looser.

A little more like sand than cement.

So when a new idea shows up, we don’t shut it down – we at least take a look at it.

Because sometimes the thing that irritates us . . . the thing that gets under our skin . . .

that’s the very thing that creates something valuable.

Like grains of sand in an oyster . . . creating a pearl.

But if the oyster just clams up?

No pearl.

Nothing new.

So yeah . . . believe what you believe.

Just don’t pour cement over it.

Give it a little room to move.

Otherwise, you might find yourself stuck . . .

between a rock . . . and a hard place.

And sleeping with a stale mate.

All the best, 

John