Do Not Force

This week's Grasshopper Notes essay from John Morgan for the week of June 15th addresses the use of force.

 Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

Do Not Force

A number of years ago I came across an ancient Chinese phrase that completely changed the way I approached life: Wu Wei.

I learned it from writer and speaker Alan Watts. It loosely translates as non-forcing or effortless action.

Watts used a simple example. Suppose you're trying to unlock a stubborn door. Instead of cranking harder on the key, give it a little jiggle. Work with the lock instead of trying to overpower it.

That little illustration hit me right between the eyes.

Before I heard about Wu Wei, I was the proverbial bull in a china shop. If something wouldn't budge, I'd push harder. If it still wouldn't budge, I'd push even harder. More than once, I ended up breaking the very thing I was trying to fix.

Then I realized . . . I did the same thing with people.

Whenever someone disagreed with me, my instinct was to convince them I was right. I'd push my opinion a little harder. Oddly enough, that never seemed to work.

How about you?

Are you trying to force someone to see things your way? A lifestyle? A political opinion? A religious belief? Or maybe just convince them your quarterback is better than theirs.

There's nothing wrong with sharing an opinion. The trouble starts when we become attached to being right.

Force almost always creates resistance.

That's where Wu Wei comes in.

Before you lean into force, take a pause. See what happens if you ease up instead. You may discover another way through that hadn't occurred to you when you were busy pushing.

I've found Wu Wei to be a remarkably peaceful way of life that offers a lot less strife.

So give yourself a beat before you apply the heat. More often than not, you'll discover that life responds better to a gentle jiggle than a hard shove.

All the best,

John