There Are No 50-50 Relationships

Relationships are dynamic, not static. If you believe you set an forget them, prepare for your belief to get shattered.

 Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

Find the written versions of these podcasts on John's podcasting site: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1628038

"The Grasshopper" is the part of you that whispers pearls of wisdom that  seem to pop into your mind from out of the blue. John's essays and blog posts are his interpretations of these "Nips of Nectar." Others have labeled his writings as timeless wisdom. 

Most of the John's writings revolve around self improvement and self help. They address topics like:

• Mindfulness
• Peace of mind
• Creativity
• How to stay in the present moment
• Spirituality
• Behavior improvement

And stories that transform you to a wider sense of awareness that presents more options. And isn't that what we all want, more options? 

John uploads these podcasts on a regular basis. So check back often to hear these podcasts heard around the world. Who wants to be the next person to change? 

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Transcript

There Are No 50-50 Relationships

I was never much of a math whiz, but years ago this Grasshopper thought came out of the blue:

"Relationships are either a 1 or a 2. Either you do more for me, or I do more for you."

At first that sounded wrong.

Shouldn't healthy relationships be 50-50?

Maybe in theory. But not in real life.

Think about it. At any given moment, one person is giving more. Maybe they're carrying the emotional load. Maybe they're doing more of the work. Maybe they're the one offering support while the other needs it.

Then life changes . . . and the roles reverse.

Relationships are more like a see-saw than a set of perfectly balanced scales. They naturally tip back and forth. If they ever land exactly in the middle, it's only for a moment before one side rises again.

That's not a flaw.

That's how healthy relationships work.

The problem isn't that the see-saw tips. The problem is when it stays tipped.

When one person is always doing the lifting . . . always making the sacrifices . . . always carrying the weight . . . eventually they run out of energy while the other gets used to living "up there where the air is rare."

And that's when resentment quietly moves in.

The Grasshopper put it another way years ago:

"Fair is a fairy tale."

Life isn't fair, and relationships aren't either. They were never meant to be. They're meant to be flexible.

My friend Doug O'Brien once reminded me that rockets headed for the moon are off course about 90% of the time. The reason they still arrive is simple: they keep making small course corrections.

Maybe that's the best model for relationships.

Not perfect balance . . .

Just a willingness to notice when things have drifted too far and gently correct the course.So here's the only question I'd leave you with:

Right now . . . are you the 1 . . . or are you the 2?

All the best,

John