Being John Malkovich

Malkovich? Malkovich.... MALKOVICH!!! Diving into John Malkovich this week with our discussion on Being John Malkovich (1999). Thank you to all who suggest movies, themes, etc. keep em' coming! 


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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.568)
swamp listeners, we can see that you are kind and decent people, so we've decided to offer you a place inside John Malkovich, if you'd like. I would love a place inside John Malkovich for eternity. Wonderful. If anyone's interested, can just slide into our DMs and we will save you a spot.

But you have to your pet monkey, that's kind of the ticket. We've actually really been looking for somebody who has a monkey. You're great, but Elijah is really the one punching the ticket here. Karly monkeys freak me out. Evie I've never had a big monkey summer, I've just been monkey -ing around, watching monkey movies. I feel like I officially kicked off the summer. Maybe it was a little early, I think it was like in April.

Monkey Man, Dev Patel. Yeah, fair. I'm in the monkey mode. Okay. Now, Henry and I are doing the Planet of the Apes movies. They're not even good, but I'm just getting into them because I just, I'm embracing a monkey summer. Well, I remember before that even, back when we had traveled to Copenhagen, we went to this natural history museum and they had a big giant monkey exhibit and you and Hank got really into

You took postcards of monkeys, they live on your wall now. I feel like that's when you declared a monkey summer, so I should have seen it coming. Yeah, I've been manifesting this for a while, I think. I have a gallery wall, if you can call it that, a place where I put all of my wall hangings. I would say there's probably about 50 pieces of art or whatever decor on the wall.

I do think about 15 of those are pictures of monkeys. I got a lot of monkey postcards, monkey paintings, just monkey vibes all around, man. It's a brat summer, it's a monkey summer. Nothing wrong with that. just can't think of domesticated monkeys without thinking about that one that was in Connecticut that ripped a lady's face and arms off back in 2010. That's why you need to respect them, because you also should fear them.

The SWAMP (02:14.104)
That's a key part of the Planet of the Apes movies, Emily, is that those apes can fuck you up and that's why you need to respect them. One chimpanzee can fucking deck a fully grown man, take him to the ground and get his ass. I believe that. I'd be dead in one punch. My skull caved in. I'd look like that guy in Midsummer when they took a bat to his head. my God. But it's the monkey's fist. Yeah, monkeys are scary.

I don't... Yeah, no, they're not for me. They're a little too cognizant. I love my favorite kind of monkey type creature. It's this tiny little marsupial called a pygmy marmoset. And it's about like, it just can sit right on your finger. It's just a little tiny baby monkey with a pouch. It's got like little furs on the side of its... Google, stop what doing right now. Google pygmy marmoset. So fire. Hold on, let me like one those fire animals.

I'd be loving the whole primate family, you know, the whole family tree of all creepy little monkey guys. She looks mad though. But I will say I do have a very soft spot for lemurs. to Zabuumafu. That was my favorite show as a kid. The PR that Zabuumafu did for the lemur community has lasted so long. Lifetimes.

It's, I would say, on par with the stingray that killed Steve Irwin doing for the stingray community in reverse what Zabuuma Fu did for lemurs. Don't get me my soapbox because while I loved and respected Steve Irwin, and I remember being like eight years old and crying when he died as someone who scuba dives and really respects the ocean, that stingray did nothing wrong.

You know, I have a hard time believing that he wasn't fucking with it a little bit. Well, that is probably true. Yeah, I'm a stingray apologist. it's not like Stingrays don't do that. No. People shouldn't be scared of stingrays in that way. I thought you were gonna get on your soapbox they're not an unprovoked creature. Do you know the whole conspiracy about the pregnant stingray, the stingray shark Jesus Baby that

The SWAMP (04:35.222)
on that I brought this up so long ago, but it turns out they were abusing her. talking about? Wait, what? Hold on, rewind, tell the whole story. So there was this TikTok account, an aquarium, like a public aquarium, and they had a stingray that was in an enclosure of all sharks. So she was the only stingray and she gets pregnant and they're like, this can't happen because there's no other male stingrays in here. So either

She's self -reproducing in this weird, incredibly rare scientific process where you can essentially clone yourself and give birth that way, which doesn't ever fucking happen. It's Stingray Jesus, literally. Or one of these male sharks somehow tried something and got this Stingray pregnant. And so it was this whole big thing on TikTok of everyone counting down the days until she gave birth to be like, what is going to happen?

on the edge of our seats and then it turns out that the whole thing was like the people at the aquarium were like not taking proper care of her like this was a serious medical issue that should have been addressed as soon but they were really hyping it up for views and not getting her treated and she fucking died because she had this thing that they didn't fix because they were like stingray jesus on our tiktok so it was like incredible negligence yeah it was just it's really sad

So depressing. Stingray soapboxes is not what Stingrays are beautiful creatures, but so is John Malkovich. Stingrays have a place in the swamp, I'll say Yes, absolutely. As does John Malkovich. Hi, this is our podcast. We should say the name of it. It's the swamp. It's an acronym. Stands for some whack -ass movie podcasting. And by God, by Malkovich, we're gonna talk about being John Malkovich.

today, listener request Brooke Drew specifically for their partner. We stay shouting out Brooke Drew on this podcast. think they also were the one who told us to do Iron Giant, so I guess it's just Brooke Drew Selects Month. Hey, sliding to our DMs, we might pick all of your movies in the future, so stay sending us stuff. We love hearing from you guys what you want us to talk about, but neither of us had ever seen this and we're doing Objectively Good Movies Month.

The SWAMP (06:54.478)
And this did feel like one that I was like, yeah, I've never seen it. And it's got like a 98 % on Rotten Tomatoes or something that I'm like, I do believe people find this to be objectively, know, a good movie. So like, yeah, let's roll with it. Which is interesting because it's fucking weird. Well, yes, I was surprised. I did not know it was going to quite get so weird because of how widely loved I believed it to be. was like, people like this, right? I did not believe the masses.

would have taste for something so absurd, but I guess I was wrong. Refined. Something so refined as being John Malkovich. Or maybe it's just that John Malkovich is that loved. Funny thing is, I nary a seen a John Malkovich film. The only thing that Yes you have, Emily. Dara, I swear I looked at his -

his filmography. Okay, the year is 2013. You're a freshman in high school. Sure. You just finished reading Of Mice and Men. Did they not immediately put on like the 1997 Of Mice and Men in your English 101 class? Couldn't tell ya. Couldn't tell ya. He's Lemmy! Haven't seen - that does sound familiar. Yep, never seen Burn After All Reading, Con Air, 100 Years, Rounders,

I have seen the Penguins of Madagascar. Wait, who's he the voice of? penguin? Another representative of the lemur community that I would say bogged it down. Dave? Who's to say? Damn, they got John Malkovich for the fucking Madagascar Penguins movie? But what I'm trying to say is the only thing that I could really remember seeing him

was this one SNL skit that they always have on their Christmas special about him telling these fucked up Christmas stories to kids and talking about how when he was a kid they used to suck on pennies. Other than that, I have hardly had any interaction with John Malkovich media.

The SWAMP (09:11.978)
obsessed. think that's pretty much all you need is the SNL sucking on pennies skit. I think I got what I needed to out of that to really watch this knowing who he was. And then can I ask, going into it, what was your perception of the level of meta it was gonna get? Did you know anything about this going into it? Because obviously the title's called

being John Malkovich and it's starring John Malkovich. So we're obviously doing some level fourth wall breaking here, right? Did you know anything about that? Did you have a sense? I didn't know a whole lot of it. I knew that people were going into his head, basically. I think that part of me had assumed that multiple people would be in there for extended periods of time. think old SpongeBob episodes where it would be all of the tiny little SpongeBob's running around his brain.

And the filing cabinets, And the filing cabinets. Essentially that, which is not what this movie is. That was kind of my baseline idea of where it might go. But other than that, I had just about nothing to go off of. What about I was even further from that because I didn't even realize there were people crawling in because the poster is just his little bald head.

like 9 ,000 times, right? So I just assumed that this was gonna be a movie about a world in which everyone is John Malkovich. Which you do get at one point. Well yes, I thought, yes, that exact thing, I thought that was gonna be the whole movie. Just like Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. And not to just compare movies to other movies, because that is a little bit reductive, but at the end of this I will say my final, like, encapsulating statement.

to somebody who only understands movies through other movies would be that this is the Truman Show meets Office Space. Never seen Office Space. But you know like Truman Show level of like, of like, it's like a simulation and it's whatever. It was kind of giving that sort of absurd touch. Yeah, I would call that accurate. So I don't know, should we give a bit of a brief recap for anyone that hasn't seen this film? Yeah, spoilers incoming.

The SWAMP (11:32.402)
as if it has not already been spoiled, being John Nankovic is a film we're about to talk about in great detail, including things that happen in the plot. So fucking John Cusack, wild choice, did not expect to see him on my TV. absolutely. He is a lonely, sad shell of a man who loves puppets, and in this economy he simply cannot live.

a life being a puppeteer. And he loves his art, he's very passionate about it. It seems like the puppets he does are like, retelling of like old religious stories to like operas. or like medieval almost. Yeah, like medieval opera puppets. Yeah, sure. He's got a real niche. And his wife, who I assumed was like a zookeeper or a veterinarian or something, but actually maybe just has all these animals at their house.

Pet store owner, maybe? Yeah, at one point she's like, we need something for the shop. I assumed, yeah, pet store veterinary supplies. don't know. But Lottie, Miss Cameron Diaz, she got a bajillion pets. They got lizards, they got snakes, they got monkeys up in this bitch. Parrots. In their apartment, and they're married, right? They're married. Yes, in a bit of a loveless marriage. Right, which I don't understand. How can you not love Cameron Diaz in this role? Like, she has a cloud of cumulonimbus hair.

and is just like flitting around with a monkey on her hip. She's so charming. I'm simply taken by this woman. again, like I have never really felt any sort of way about her in any other films. She's fine. Didn't ever stand out to me. But in this, she gave me Papa's orchard. Right! Yeah, right? She was giving Papa's orchard. Did you watch that TikTok I sent you?

of that interview that she does where she... you meant how much Adobo she eats. friends are Filipino. Yeah, she's doing this interview with somebody who's, I think, from the Philippines, It seems like that was the natural context of it. But she does that thing of when white people say, Bartholoma, that she said, Pelicans. And I was like, girl. And it's so like, girl! Like, no! And I don't know what year that was from, but it really, that sound popped up on like 2014, because I think it was like when...

The SWAMP (13:52.076)
The other woman. Rice. I ate it every day. But yes, I did see that. That was mad goofy. That's my only impression of... I feel like she seems like store brand Gwyneth Paltrow to me. Exactly. how I've categorized her. She's Fiona from Shrek. Yeah, I never really thought much of her. I do like her in the mask as well. I've never seen the mask. That stood out as a performance that I actually cared for from her. But this...

really took me off guard. I really liked her a lot in this and I like John Cusack as well. I typically am not a huge fan of him. He has some more like deep cut stuff that I feel like speaks and this included, but I'm like, you were doing that smart thing where you like got your bag making not that great movies so that you could like take a break every once in a while and do the weird stuff. This screams Joan to me. The performance was giving Joan.

Yeah, like his little mannerisms. Maybe you are siblings. Right? No, I stay forgetting that they're siblings all the time because I'm like, who in their fucking right mind would name their children John and Joan? That's so weird. And I'm always like, assuming that they're just two celebrities that share the same last name, but I'm like, no, you do share the same face as well. That one thing. yeah, a lot of his mannerisms, I was like, ooh, it is giving, it's giving Joan here. And that's what I think I liked about it. Exactly.

If we want to get into a little bit, I know we're kind of doing plot recap right now as well, but it feels sort of natural to layer in that I got a little bit into the lore of like why this movie got made, basically. was gonna say because for 1999, it's I mean, mind you, I was an infant, newly born. So I couldn't say much about the times. But the 90s don't seem like they were very like

Not artsy fartsy, but like kind of near. yeah, something like that. But I guess I can't say that because I mean like think American Psycho. I would say these are like all sort of critical of And this movie had to work really hard to get made. I'll also argue that. That there's probably a lot of movies like this that never see the light of day. This just like through several instances of kismet happened to like make it to the right people at the right time. Well, I would love to see Charlie Kaufman's

The SWAMP (16:09.326)
the filing cabinets of shit that never come in. Yeah, for real. But the reason I sort of got into this was because I was thinking to myself while I was watching the movie, I want to see the list of every rendition that this had to go through before becoming being John Malkovich. Did we get a being Paul Giamatti? How many characters, actors? wish. Right? How many

middle -aged character actors did they go through to capture the similar vibe of like, yeah, he's not an A -list celebrity, but you get to go inside of his head and it kind of makes sense that you would have the ability to reroute his career, because it's not Tom Cruise, right? Tom Cruise isn't going to get into puppetry, but John Malkovich, guess. But I was like, who could it have been, right? And what were those iterations? And then it turns out it was from the fucking first draft, it was always John Malkovich.

this movie has at its core always been about John Malkovich, which is insane to me. like that wonder if Charlie Kaufman just had his life across one of the walls in his room, and he was like, you know what, let me just make this a movie. If he just had a slight obsession. Well, I guess he said the reason that that was the original thing was John Malkovich is just the scene where he says his own name, the

Malcovich. Malcovich. idea of the conception is that if a man crawled into a portal into his own brain, he'd be in the world of himself and he would say his own name and the funnest name to say is Malcovich. Malcovich. Yeah, I guess. It's great. It's got a great mouth feel. was gonna say, yeah, something about the title being John Malcovich does, I mean, it's not the same.

being Paul Giamatti is not the same. it's not rolling off as much as I would like it to. I would love a being Paul Giamatti. he was like, yeah, as Malkovich is fun to say. And several times throughout the process, they were like, can it be someone else? And he is like, no, to the point where John Malkovich himself said, I will produce and even direct and buy the script off you to produce and direct this film. I just don't think it should be me. Like, I just don't think it should be me. And he said, no, he said no. That's exactly

The SWAMP (18:22.124)
That's exactly the reason why it has to be. Right? Yeah, he was like, it has to be you. So I guess he had originally written it as just like a writing exercise. was like, this is just on spec, just for whatever, for me, for shits and gigs. I'm just going to write this. And then it sort of lived in that space for a long time. And then he links up with Spike Jones, who is the director, who engaged to Sofia Coppola.

Charlie Kaufman gives the script to Spike Jonze, who through Sofia Coppola gets it to Francis Ford Coppola, who then gives it to his good friend John Malkovich. And Francis Ford Coppola says to John Malkovich, we have the script here, it's fucking batshit crazy, it's never gonna get made, do you wanna read it on your plane ride? And John Malkovich is like, yeah, sure, I'll read it on my plane ride. And he starts reading it he's like, my God, like

we gotta do something with this. is crazy. But he's like, but it be me. And then eventually they come around to like, no, it has to be you. We, I wrote it, Spike Jonze is going to direct is the prophecy. You're gonna, yeah, this is we're gonna do it. And then I guess in a similar sort of situation, John Cusack says to his agent,

Hey, can you just give me like the most unproducible, never gonna get made, like bottom of the barrel script that anyone has in the bottom of their filing cabinet, just like, I would just like to see it. And this is what they gave him and he signed on. He's like, yes, yes, immediate yes. I love that. I love, and it's so amazing to see how what all of this film went through to actually end up here and for it to have a 98 % on Rotten Tomatoes.

I think it's like when you know you know because all these people throughout were like read the script and immediately were like well yes of course like yes it to be made everyone be like this is never gonna get made but everyone who reads it says we're gonna make it right yeah like the crazy idea that's so crazy and then you just do it and you're like it's it's not that crazy to just to just do it right mm -hmm that was I did find that one because like you said it kind of originated from what would happen if you went inside of your own brain

The SWAMP (20:35.564)
And that wasn't what I was expecting, honestly. I figured it would go sort of some, maybe I take it back. Cause I was about to say, I feel like it would be like when you put a mirror up against a mirror or whatever, but I guess that's exactly what happened. So I take it all back. That's literally what happened in just a different version.

Well, I guess it was a lot less about him crawling into his own mind, like that was just a funny little thing that happens, but then as it always does, you get spit out on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike, right? It was of course a lot more about Craig, the main character, who's this puppeteer, who he gets into business to do a lightning fast plot recap. He starts this new job at this place that has low ceilings, his coworker Maxine and him find the portal into John Malkovich's brain, they say, we're gonna...

Pimp the fuck out of this, charge $200 a head, get inside John Malkovich. Yeah, mind you, what's his name? Craig? Craig is like insanely creepy about Maxine being like, I'm in love with you, you're the woman of my dreams, X, Y, and Z. She meets his wife, she says, I've got a thing for you, Craig, fuck you, but we can still do business. Loved that scene where they invite her over for dinner and she's like, I don't want to have a threesome with you, I actually just want to fuck your wife, like I actually don't want you here at all.

I was like, yes girl, say it. You don't even get to watch, Craig. Love it. Lottie, who is Cameron Diaz, she goes inside John Malkovich and she fucking loves it. She is like, I'm a man. She's like, I'm a man named John Malkovich now and this is the best thing I've ever felt. She's like, I love having a dick. I'm gonna get sex reassignment surgery tomorrow to become a man. And Craig's like, whoa, honey, do you think you wanna be a man or do think you just wanna be John Malkovich? And she's like, whoa, great point.

Put me back in coach. And her favorite thing to do, obviously, is you get inside John Malkovich and you fuck Maxine and you fuck your husband's coworker as John Malkovich. Duh. Which, mind you, Maxine somehow managed to make her way into John Malkovich's life in lightning fast speed. Right. She gave him, she got his phone number, gave him a call and said, come to dinner with me. And Lottie's in his brain at this point being like, yes, I will go to dinner with you. And so she starts.

The SWAMP (22:54.552)
fucking Maxine through John Malkovich. It's a whole thing. Through the power of sapphic yearning, this woman is able to celebrity John Malkovich because the little inkling in the back of his mind is saying, yes, and that is Cameron Diaz. Obsessed. But she doesn't want to fuck him when she's a woman. She only wants to fuck him through the vessel that is John Malkovich, which is so funny.

It's just amazing. I think that every lesbian should get this opportunity to fuck once as a man. Just so you know. every person should get to do gender swap for like 24 hours. We should all be raised. This is my utopia right now. I'm creating it. All people are raised genderless. No matter what your body parts are, you're going to be raised as a neutral.

You're non -binary. There's a word for Well yes, it's state mandated. We're to state mandate that you're non -binary until when you're 18. You get to go into both and you get to pick. I'm saying no genitals. You have no genitals. We're scientifically altering. You're like an amoeba and then you get to try out both and you just get to pick. And if you want to stay an amoeba, you can stay an

But I just think you should be able to be John Malkovich and then you can be Cameron Diaz and then you can pick and then we all move on. see no problem with this. I think we motion to bring this to Congress. We're gonna pass the bill that all babies are now amoebas until they can get inside John Malkovich upon which then you can fuck Maxine and decide if you want to be a boy or not. Yeah, I wish I'd had that opportunity, honestly.

But so as the plot unfolds, John Malkovich ends up finding out about this scheme, because he can kind of feel it. He's like, something's going on here. What the fuck is happening? Ends up crawling inside his own head where we get that iconic scene where it's just - Malkovich. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. Where he is every person in the room, man, woman, boobs, fat, skinny, whatever, anything.

The SWAMP (25:11.598)
huge day for bald extras in Hollywood. Huge day for 35 plus bald extras in Hollywood. was really locked in there because that scene goes on and like it's not a quick flash. It's a few minutes and I was really trying to clock like every two thirds of like somebody's side profile like I'm like that's not a Malkovich right because we're gonna superimpose him onto those the phases you can see but I'm like that ear that is not a Malkovich ear like clocking all of the

Yeah. The extras. So John Malkovich tries to sort of shut it down. Doesn't really work. And Craig ends up imprisoning Lottie in the cage with... What's the monkey's name? Elijah. Elijah. With Elijah the monkey because he said, fuck you, you're fucking the girl that I want to fuck. And she said, sorry, I got that good dick energy, baby. I got that John Malkovich dick.

And Craig says, unfortunately I also can have John Malkovich Day, so I'm gonna go get that done. And Lottie's like, no, she's in there with Elijah, and he overcomes his monkey trauma. This scene was so funny. His parents, his monkey family, who got tied up at the wrists by poachers, and he couldn't untie, and he's

throughout the movie, Cameron Diaz keeps peppering the like, my pet monkey, he's working through some stuff, my pet monkey needs to be on, you know, muscle relaxants. He's going to therapy. He's going to psychotherapy to break his childhood trauma. And it turns out so true. And in that moment, he overcomes it and he unties her wrists, gets her out. That honestly, that was

point in the movie where I was like, this might be a timeless classic. It's truly brilliant. It's so fucking funny. And like, then I just get more meta about it. And I do think about John Malkovich reading that script on his plane ride from Francis Ford Coppola. And it's like, and then the monkey, the captions explain while we do frenzied shots of apes, that this monkey needs to get over his childhood trauma. Like, yes, yes, I to make this movie.

The SWAMP (27:25.806)
But from there, Craig ends up in John Malkovich, kind of realizing he can manipulate him a lot longer than 15 minutes. a bit like a puppeteer. Craig ends up essentially taking on John Malkovich and being John Malkovich for the next eight months. At the same time, Lottie has figured out that Craig's boss,

at whatever filing company he worked at. Lester Corp. Yes, Lester Corp. Is essentially a timeless being who has figured out how to morph bodies from one body to the next body for however long he wants to until, you know, forever. John Malkovich is his next host.

Which like just by happenstance, like by happenstance, the next guy whose brain we found a tunnel to happens to be John Malkovich, kind of a serve. But I also didn't understand, like the guy from Lester Corp was like, yeah, I'm a bajillion years old. My name isn't even Lester. Like I just jump around from host to host. So, but he's taken a ton of people with him. So every time they funnel into a new host, is it like, does that man live with a million consciousnesses from host to, you know what I mean?

Did they all travel every time? I want to get into the science and the lore. I want to break down the practicality of this universe we live in. The way he was talking about it made it sound a bit like a new thing. He had figured out that he can funnel a handful of people in. But so the ultimate game plan is that Lottie is going to

these like 40 old people who are going to funnel into John Malkovich on his 44th birthday because that's when he's ripe to have his brain taken over. But Lottie realizes that Craig is in John Malkovich and has been in John Malkovich for the last like eight months and they put together this scheme to...

The SWAMP (29:44.098)
take Maxine hostage and make Craig jump out of John Malkovich so that all these old people can funnel in. It's just so fucking stupid saying it. After Cameron Diaz chases pregnant Maxine around with a gun in a wild sequence, which is just brilliant, also traveling through John Malkovich's subconscious.

Yes, it's so good, right? Loved it. And then Maxine and Lottie end up kind of making up and Maxine tells Lottie that it's her baby that she's pregnant with. Her baby by way of John Malkovich, so not at all her child at all other than that. She was just in John Malkovich when the insemination happened. Love that for you, And so they get together.

Craig had left John Malkovich, so all the old people funneled in and then he tried to get back in. But the thing that ends up happening is once you have passed the deadline, you get put into the next host, which I guess is the daughter that Maxine ends up birthing. So Craig is forced to live in this prison of this child's mind for the rest of.

It does seem like the difference here is that he cannot puppeteer this child. yeah. He could puppeteer John Malkovich, but for whatever reason, he can't puppet the child. The kid's not ripe. I was like, is he going to be able to puppet the child? I don't like that. But then I was like, no, this is wholesome because he's trapped in the prison of watching his lover and his wife have a happy marriage. Brilliant. That's brilliant. It is truly brilliant writing.

We should have done this for Women Loving Women Month. I was thinking that this is better representation than Black Swan for sure. We said last week, we're like, we toyed with the idea, but it just doesn't feel gay enough. This feels like a fundamentally sapphic film. This is better representation than Imagine Me and You, if I'm being honest. Right? I was rooting for them the entire time.

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it, but a shameless plug got your asses. Not Jen, she is here, but also here's a plug for you to go to our Patreon.

watch the video episodes that I do not edit so you will get some clunky interim material but mostly the site we use to record on just let us put like titles underneath our names so every time we record I try to give us a funny little title and it actually ends up taking more time for me to think of something clever to call each of us than it does to actually record the excitement so I love that for us not gonna spoil what they are they're not even though you didn't give Jen one today

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I want to bring your personal life into this, Jen. God, I'm just trying to let the people get to know you a little bit better. But Jen is here to host her intro podcast segment, Chocolate or Manila. She's going to say two things. We're all going to say which one we like better. Jen, thank you for being here. How are you? Is there a theme this week? I am pretty good. And there is a theme. I had to do it. This cast, them in this or them in something else. Yeah. I know I do that all the time, but this cast is killer.

Great cast, lot of jumpscapes. Lot of people, I was like,

was a lot for me but definitely the Octavia Spencer one got me. You're literally the maw of it. The maw jumpscare? Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Vanilla. chocolate. Chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry? Chocolate. I'll stick vanilla this week. Yeah I'm gonna go strawberry. I'm gonna go strawberry because I just cut up a bunch of strawberries for a fruit salsa because we're having a baby shower for Anna tomorrow. cute. Fruit salsa? Why is that the

The SWAMP (33:41.41)
thing to bring to a baby shower. feels so right. Also shout out to Stacey's, the pita chips, the cinnamon Stacey's pita chips with a fruit salsa. That's exactly what I'm bringing. Yep, summertime snack. This is like the most white people conversation I've ever heard. You got that on allrecipes .com bitch? I know it! What do you put in your fruit salsa, Apples, kiwis, strawberries,

raspberries, then you put preserves, brown sugar, and that's it. And do you blend it or do you do it like a pico? Because I guess that's not - You chop it. Chop it like a pico. okay. Chopped. Everything's chopped. It's like fruit salad's not a salad. No. salsa is closer to a salsa. I'd say so. Salad is to a salad. I don't know about that.

A salad could be anything. Essentially. That's true. Pasta salad? There doesn't need to be greens in it for to be a salad. That's true. I think pasta salad is kind of fake. Potato salad? A mayonnaise -based salad is not a salad. That's an abomination.

I will agree with you there. can't bring mayo items to my pot. You can leave stuff in the fridge, but it does stay out for a while, because we all have different lunch times and stuff like that. when the stuff stays out, I'm like, no mayo for me, thank you. Yeah, fair enough. And you've got to worry about judgmental ass bitches like me being like, who the fuck thought it was okay to bring potato salad to this function? Here's the thing, is that people of color have redone the traditionally white

potato salad and it's bomb. I've seen so many amazing looking potato salads out on TikTok these days that are not mayonnaise based. And let me tell you, I would go crazy on one of those. I think what's even worse is like chicken salad. think that's Tuna salad. Tuna salad, foul. What do they call it? Absolutely fucking. It's like an egg salad, right? What do they call it? an egg salad. disgusting. Yeah. Disgusting. That smells

The SWAMP (35:48.848)
Horrific. I don't like boiled eggs though. Hard boiled eggs I think are disgusting. I can occasionally do a soft boiled egg if I'm in an adventurous mood. So no deviled for you? Anti -deviled? No. Same here. I don't like... They seem so chic. I think the only thing a white part of an egg is good for is cocktails and making whipped cream. Other than that... I was gonna say, what is it?

Meringue? Meringue. Yeah, exactly. I'm not... That's my least favorite part of any egg. I don't even like putting... And I like the effect of a... What is it? Egg whites in a drink. But actually doing it and putting it in is like so disgusting. I would never DIY it. I will order it out. I will not do it in my house. I'll tell you what.

Met a bartender once who was like, yeah, my secret to like making this a little more like one easy for myself and two sustainable is doing like that he would Basically like freeze -dryer not freeze -dryer when you It's like you you like

throw it in the oven for ages and it gets like... Dehydrate. You dehydrate. dehydrate. Dehydrated like egg whites. And he would just sprinkle it in the cocktail and it would have the same effect. And I, for some, that's a lot less gross to me. I thought it was all about the foam. It's still foam. That's the thing, it's still foams. is strange, but... Anyways.

Sorry for this egg tension. I'm watching a Netflix show right now. That's a real competition show for bartenders. It's really cool. like drink masters. think love that. Yeah, drink masters. I'm coming in with that lawsuit. All right, though. next first one is a Willie Garcon. So he's the guy in the restaurant. Do you like him in this or sex in the city or white collar?

The SWAMP (38:03.929)
Jen, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I know I did in person. my god, no, you do. Stanford and Sex and the City. Have you never watched Sex and the City? No, of course not. Dara, you should. That's like a good one. No, no, I think that you should take the time and make it your lunchtime show when you're eating whatever you're eating for lunch. No, my lunchtime show is the three hour episode recap of fucking Hot D that I'm on.

No, my lunchtime show is a recap of my night show because that's how into my shows I have to get. Fair enough. So what are you gonna pick him as then? I'll pick him in this.

It's this guy. I'm gonna have to go for him as Stanford. a bald actor who got a role in this movie playing an extra as the back of John Malkovich. yes. That's not what he did. had a very memorable conversation in the restaurant. A very not politically correct by today's standards conversation. I'm gonna take him as Mazzie in White Collar. I love that show. Next one is Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen in this or Charlie Sheen in Ferris

I do feel like was Loki like self -awarely kind of ripping on himself here whether he knew it or not I did kind of like the like absurdity of like that Charlie Sheen is the person that John Malkovich Turns to in his time of emotional need is very silly So I'll pick him in this actually I did not mind him in this because it was two minutes of screen time Yeah, I think anyone could have really played that role in Ferris Bueller, but I think him in this was very well decided

I'm gonna take them in first, Bueller. I'm gonna take all the none this movies because I haven't seen this movie. Fair enough. Sorry. Next one is Octavia Spencer. this or in the help? In Ma. I'm gonna pick the secret third option, which is Ma. There's actually a loophole to all chocolate or vanilla questions is that you can always pick Ma. But no, I'll pick her in the help. She was not in

The SWAMP (40:16.216)
movie she had a single line of dialogue but it got me. Dara picking the white savior movie. She was good in it. just remember. was very good in it.

Yeah, that movie's not great though. No, it's not. I'm gonna pick her in this because I thought it was a really fun 30 seconds that she had on screen. And it was, you know, I was pleasantly surprised to see her. I stood up and I yelled, it's Ma!

I'm gonna go with the help. one is John Malkovich in this or as Athos in the man in the iron mask I've never seen that movie, but that that's Leonardo DiCaprio, right? And that's another movie that spoiler alert for the man in the iron mask that I unknowingly spoiled for myself while creating my people who play twins of themselves movie universe A couple of movies got really spoiled for me because I was like, when googling this that's usually

twist, right? Yeah. Is that there's a twin? Right. Like, yeah, I did kind of ruin every twin twist, even if I haven't seen it, I'm pretty aware of by my own hubris. But I've never seen it though, actually. So I will pick John Malkovich in this because Icon, he's the titular role. Yeah, I also haven't seen Man in the Iron Mask, but that's one that like has popped up on my TikTok enough that I'm like, maybe I should? No.

not seen a whole lot of John Malkovich's stuff, so I'm gonna go for this. Dude, you haven't seen Con Air? No!

The SWAMP (41:57.058)
You could do John Malkovich next year. I'll pick him in this, although I did like Man in the Iron Mask. He produced Juno and Perks of Being a Wallflower. Did you guys know I love that. I didn't know, but I did know that he is a director and a producer as well as being an actor, which, I'll get into that. I was getting into the lore of this film and I found out about the illustrious career of Mr. John Malkovich, not involving puppetry, but rather film production.

Next one is Mary Kay Place in This or in The Big Chill? I've never seen The Big Chill, so I'll pick this. What is that even about? I don't know anything about that movie. It's about a group of college friends gets back together for like a funeral. it was one of their friends. Spoiler alert, the funeral guy is Kevin Costner, but he never made the movie. They did a flashback scene which they like deleted or something. Love. But she's pretty famous, you'll know her. She's this one.

Yeah, I love the Big Chill actually. That's one movie from the 80s that I think is a bit overlooked and has a really nice little Jeff Goldblum in it. it like if St. Elmo's Fire was actually good? Yes, exactly it. I get that vibe. Yeah, and the soundtrack is like legendary. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, the Big Chill for me. Yeah, I'm going Big Chill also. Next one

Katherine Keener in this or as Percy Jackson's mom? Percy Jackson's mom who loves the blue candy! out, shout out her to Percy Jackson. I haven't seen that show yet because I don't subscribe to Disney. If anyone would like to shout out in the chat whether they thought the Percy Jackson show was good or not, I would love to hear some feedback. Is this from the, this is the movie right? she was the mom of the movies. Don't remember enough of it to say so I'll choose her in this.

choose Percy Jackson. Next one is Cameron Diaz in this or there's something about Mary. Never seen there's something about Mary but I don't really care for Cameron Diaz and I weirdly cared for her in this so I am going to pick her here. Agreed yeah I am never bewitched by her but this one she had me. It was the monkey. It wasn't the monkey for me actually. the monkey was doing a lot of heavy lifting for me. Fair enough. yeah I found

The SWAMP (44:27.)
her very endearing.

just in general. I wasn't finished though. of Dimitri. Or Stand By Me, the brother. no. Yeah I know. If you know that three, I said chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry. Yeah, I gotta have one.

famously do not remember enough of Anastasia and he made me really hate this character so I will go for him in this because if you can do that I commend you. I'm totally picking Anastasia. You should see it. Anastasia's alive? I gotta work on my Bartok impression man. If we're gonna keep this Anastasia ball rolling I gotta refine my Bartok.

And that is it for the star -studded cast of this movie. The star -studded being John Malkovich. Love it, Jen. Thank you, as always, for being here on the podcast, and we'll see you next week. Okay, I love you guys. Have an awesome night. Love Love you, too. Bye. And Maxine is kind of

A piece of shit. Yeah, like you don't really want to root for her, but yet every decision she makes you're kind of like, well, yeah, I guess so. Like, I guess I do see why you would do that. Like, that's kind of insane. she's like, yeah, I just it's more convenient to be with John Malkovich. So that's what I'm going to do. It's like, well, yeah, right, Queen. Get it. She's like, I am going to be his puppeteering manager. Yeah, that just really makes sense for me.

The SWAMP (46:24.942)
Yeah, I do wish that Lottie ended up getting her sexual reassignment surgery, but you know what? We can't have everything, I guess. If I had been Maxine and Craig and I was gonna turn this into a business, John Malkovich, we can find other men, it doesn't need to be John Malkovich, but you find the portal into the man and you let the lesbians use the man as a vessel for when they want to have kids, so then you can like, it's like your wife is in there,

So you don't have to deal with IVF, which is expensive. We can just rent John Malkovich. I know it sucks and you don't like dick, but it's gonna be me in there, so don't worry, babe. And you get to fuck his John Malkovich and you can have babies. Not a bad gig. And it'll be cheaper than IVF, duh.

god yeah, especially in 1999. Jesus Christ, I couldn't imagine what I cost. Emily, notable IVF baby, notable IVF twin. I ask every twin if they were an IVF baby just to be cheeky about it, even though I'm sure they don't want to talk about this. But I just assume all twins, that doesn't come naturally. You gotta get that done by science. Every now and then, every now and then. But yeah, that'll be my next

subtitle on our recording sesh. Notable IVF baby. And mine will say born the regular way.

John Malkovich's daughter. Yeah, born by way of the Malkovich as they say. The alternate choice to IVF. That's gonna be the slogan. I was very pleased that Lottie got as much screen time as she did because again she had bewitched me. But I could have easily seen this becoming like the Craig show and mind you he is kind of our protagonist but

The SWAMP (48:24.014)
I loved how much I got out of her. yeah, fucking sucked and they nailed it on the head. You know this guy, right? Greasy little ponytail, thinks he's gonna change the world. That's not Craig. Harry Styles in Don't Worry Darling. my god! That's the blueprint, bro. Playing with his little dolls.

when he makes a marionette of Maxine and has the two, the marionette of him and the marionette of Maxine make marionette love. If I was Cameron Diaz and I found that out, I'd be like, I would rather have you just fuck her, right? Then make a marionette and play with your sick little dolls, act out your little fantasies, you sick fuck. mean, least it's less pathetic, you know what I mean? If you just go fuck her.

But this movie made me feel weird because I usually love puppets. Yeah, you are a giant puppet guy. I love a puppet. Yeah, no. Do you have a favorite puppet performance? From this film?

No, puppets in general? I don't know, guess I was looking into this movie and made me think about are those huge large -scale marionettes real? At the very end of the movie, there's sort this callback where he calls this other puppeteer a hack for making a giant puppet of Emily Dickinson. He's like, it's so gimmicky, but then once he overtakes John Malkovich and becomes really famous, he does the same thing. But he's doing this large -scale

at puppetry where he's up in the rafters like pulling like he's on a fucking pirate ship. And I was like, that real? Is that a real kind of performing art that exists that people have these huge puppets? It feels very America's Got Talent to me. Like when you have a gimmick and you'd be like, well, how are they gonna do this for 12 weeks on TV? It's the same every time. What do you mean? Who is gonna pay to see this Las Vegas show?

The SWAMP (50:29.536)
Okay, Simon Cowell, that's exactly what he would say. be like, we need to make One Direction. And unfortunately, marionettes are not it right now. Marionettes are not One Direction. But I did look it up and it's very uncommon because they're so expensive to make and also unwieldy. But they are in a lot of European countries and not a lot of European countries. Some European countries in parades, they include these insanely big puppets. And I've never seen anything like that.

But I mean, I'm a muppet bitch like my favorite performance by a puppet is like any anything this piggy's ever done like what do you mean? Yeah, fair enough mine I will have to say is that song from the sound of music where they do a puppet show about the lonely goat herd My secondary question for you, and I should have asked this I should have prompted you. Who do I want to go into? Yes

Who do you want to go into? For which celebrity? I'm gonna say it has to be a celebrity. And you get about 15 minutes. Who do you want? Can I control them like Craig or am I just a passenger like everyone else? I think you get a little bit of control. You don't get total control. But I'd say like, maybe like 15.

Actually, here, let's make it fun. Let's say you get total control. 15 minutes. that's entirely different. There's this really great tweet that's like, if I woke up as Taylor Swift, I would Venmo myself a million dollars, change my Instagram bio to say they slash them, and then turn off my phone and take a fucking nap. Yeah, I think, I mean, of course I'm thinking nefariously, Emily. Do I have complete control? I'm just gonna pick the richest person. I'm gonna get inside Jeff Bezos and I'm just gonna wire transfer myself a lot of money.

I be practical about it, I only got 15 minutes. I'm not thinking about these earthly pleasures, I'm trying to set myself up for a sustainable life. See, I would want to, I would have to time it very specifically.

The SWAMP (52:34.158)
But whenever James Cameron decides to go down to the Marianas Trench, would, because I don't have the stomach to do that on my own, but if I could just zap into his body for 15 minutes and see what's down there with my own two eyeballs, I think that would be ideal for me. You think we suck it up? No.

I'm not doing anything. If all of a sudden out of nowhere, you're just you're going to passenger princess it, you're not going to all of a sudden you're James Cameron and you're driving a submarine and you have to be like, okay, okay, Jim.

Passenger Princess Dog. I don't want anything to do with that. Yeah, I love the ocean and I think that'd be super cool to see. And I think the deep sea is insanely underrated. So I'd love to do that. And I would like to have a penis as well, I think. That'd be cool too. To try. It's either that or just any male celebrity and then I can just crank it. To try. It doesn't even need to be big. Just normal, you know? Yeah, exactly. Just to see.

I want to pee standing up, I think, just to see what that's all about. Yeah, yeah, see how much it actually hurts to get kicked in the balls, you know? Right, like the prostate, that's a mystery. We have 15 minutes. I just need to wire transfer myself and then get down to business. Yeah, find the male G -spot. You have to pick someone that you know has like...

toys like that then. Yeah, it's not Jeff Bezos and it's not Taylor Swift, so I don't know, but... I feel like Jeff Bezos is like...

The SWAMP (54:18.486)
gets domed the fuck out. Yeah, because he has so much control in his personal life that he really needs to switch it up when things get private. That's probably true. Yeah, he's like having a scene in like this season of The Boys where they tie Huey up and he's like that. Did you finish The Boys? Not yet. I just I wasn't impressed with this season, honestly. I think I got too gimmicky. I think it's just kind of taking itself. It's become the thing it was making fun of almost. Sometimes I'm

Are they? Is this self -aware or is this like post -ironic irony? even know. I don't even know. I enjoyed it, but like I liked it more than I like a lot of other TV, but compared to the other

like the earlier seasons I was yeah it's not and is the next season gonna be the last one have they I think so I think so yeah that's good yeah butcher pissed me off I hate that stupid ass knee day duquette Danny Duquette Negan Jeffrey Dean Morgan

dumbass I think it's a cop out and it's just like just make your guy evil dog hey welcome back supernatural the entire cast of supernatural is on the boys now like really where they're just racking them up yeah the guy who plays the president isn't is from supernatural Jeffrey Dean Morgan obviously supernatural and soldier boy Jensen Ackles supernatural they're getting all the main guys bring back soldier boy I liked his character well did you see the well

He'll be back next season, not to spoil. Spoilers for the boys. That's fine. while we're in our TV corner, did want to promote, before we promote all our stuff at the end as we always do, I do want to promo that Emily and I will be doing a bonus episode about House of the Dragons Season 2 once it is over. How many episodes are there left? Three? Two. Six, seven, and eight. So two more. So in two weeks time.

The SWAMP (56:11.118)
Give us a little padding over on the Patreon $2 .86 if any bitches are hot D girlies, please send us your questions. We'll be talking about it. Both of us have been balls fucking deep in this season. Can't get away. I've already just I've rewatched the first season in the span of the last like two weeks. I'm like watching my lore videos. I'm trying to learn the dragons names to be a engaged viewer like Quizzmeat. Sheepstealer fan. Sheepstealer cannibal.

Not for here, but head over to the Patreon sometime next month. We're gonna talk about hot D Feeling very hot D right now. Yeah super hot D I also just started the bear because I felt like I had to watch that because everyone's like you need to watch it So it's only 20 minutes in episode 8. I watch it. I finished season 1 in like a day and they're so short It's not a draw. It's it's not a car. You want you are you on to the third season? It's not a comedy

I it cuz I wanted to get caught up on it so I could have an opinion about the Emmys cuz everyone is basically like, what the I'll be like a little pissed off if they win. I think last year was very...

The SWAMP (57:23.01)
I think they deserved their wins last year. I this season is kind of ass, if you ask me. It feels like a filler season. Interesting. I'm halfway through season two, so I need to get caught up. Season two was really good. It just seems like they're trying to steal awards from Abbott Elementary, which I don't fucking like. Why are you them there in the same category as Abbott Elementary?

It's not funny enough to be a comedy. It's funny, but it's not a comedy. but not enough. It's about like unpacking your generational trauma in like fucking the high stakes restaurant industry. it's not a comedy. Don't put that up against, yeah, Abbott Elementary and Hacks, okay? Yeah, right? Be so serious. Have you watched Hacks yet? No, but you recommend it and I did watch that on Stand Up Special.

that you told me Did you love it? Yeah, I it was very funny. Yeah, I think she's very very relatable. Yeah. She is what, when female comics are trying to be, when they're trying to be relatable, like she's actually achieving that. Like that's what I think Amy Schumer thinks she is, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. Which is kind of cathartic of like, you're actually nailing it. Like you're doing the thing that they, all these bitches are just like making themselves look so bad. Yeah.

Talking about smelly pussy. Yeah, Hannah's special is phenomenal. But I just finished the third season of Hacks and my fucking God, if she doesn't get, if her and Jean Smart don't win their fucking Emmys for that, I'll burn the arena down. Don't care.

I'm usually not up to date on my TV, but I feel like all the conversation around it has been making me want to get caught up for it. I don't know, people are quote unquote, people are talking about it, you know? But just like the fact that they have they always had categories for guest appearance. I don't know. I was looking at those, like that's kind of wild. But if Bob Odenkirk wins his first award for

The SWAMP (59:31.96)
being an appearance on the bear and not a Saul Goodman, I'm just gonna rip my own intestines out through my belly button. Like that's crazy, bro. Yeah, it's fucked up. Truly.

but do we want to get into our regularly scheduled programming? Yes. Charlie Sheen, Cameo, let's get into it. Who are we fucking, marrying and killing? I think it's got to be Craig, Maxine, and Lottie. Should we do a fuck, marry, kill fight? And we do all three of those and then throw John Malkovich in it? I was gonna say that it's fuck, marry, kill, but you can incorporate John Malkovich as

standing in as a host body so like you can fuck you can fuck Maxine as John Malkovich or you could kill Craig as John Malkovich but you also that means you also have to fuck and or kill John Malkovich in the process mind body right okay i guess i will i'm gonna fuck

Maxine has John Malkovich. You're John Malkovich or she's John Malkovich? She's John Malkovich. So you're having sex with John Malkovich but Maxine's mind is inside? Yes. Yes. Because I don't really fuck with her that bad.

Or, no, could I be John Malkovich while I fuck her? Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'll do that. Yeah, that's also what I'm picking. Okay, yeah, I want to be John Malkovich while I fuck her. Because obviously I want to know what it's like to use my dick. I want to be a passenger, I don't want to do any of the work and then I'm going to pop in right as it gets good, you know? God, I have to thrust. That sounds awful.

The SWAMP (01:01:27.86)
You know you can just have her be on top. No, as John Malkovich though, no. You gotta put in the work. He has a reputation to uphold. I'm not gonna decimate this man's prowess. I'm gonna make sure John Malkovich has a mind boggling sexual experience, that's for sure. And then I'm obviously gonna kill Craig.

as John Malcolm. And then I just myself as Emily am going to marry Lottie because I love her. Right, I would be like, yes babe, you can have the monkey on the counter and we

We can have another tank for more iguanas. Like you as many pets as you want. Let me get a third job so we can afford this. Right. Yeah. Right. Well, he has no job. He's a bum ass bitch when he gets the job filing. But before he's just laying in bed thinking about puppets. Damn. I wish. I wish that paid the rent, I'd be swimming in it.

No, yeah, I think that's completely correct. If I'm involving John Malkovich, I want to be him and I want to use his dick to have sex and then I'm definitely just killing Craig and marrying Lottie, of course. Yeah, easy, easy peasy. And then what are you gonna do for your food and drink? So my answer is kind of lame. I was thinking about my wife, Cameron Diaz, in this movie. If I'm gonna be Craig, I'm gonna take over. Or like, I'm Maxine, right? I'm the provider.

now, I'm like, what am gonna give my girl and her monkey? We're gonna have a picnic. And I'm like, Cameron Diaz, this monkey and me, we're gonna share a bag of those pink and white frosted animal crackers. The monkey's gonna go ape shit, it's gonna be awesome. We're gonna eat the animal crackers. And then I just googled John Malkovich alcohol because I wanted to see if he had a wine or if he

The SWAMP (01:03:27.378)
notably has a cocktail he likes. wish. I wish he had some big celebrity red wine. Right? And I guess he's just a wine guy. has been noted to say that he likes wine, but that wasn't good enough for me. So I did feel like with my animal crackers, like a port, like a dessert wine, like a nice little sipping wine with my animal crackers with Cameron Diaz and our pet monkey together that we love. Nice. What about you?

I decided to go for foods that were inside other foods, essentially. like a beef Wellington? Kind of. I didn't think beef Wellington. That didn't come to mind. I had a little bit of trouble with this. But I got some fucked up answers. So I think that you... This feels very American, both of these answers.

I think that you get one of those fucked up donut burgers from like the state fair. You know what I mean? Get two.

crispy creams and make yourself a nice like two smash burger patties with a good I don't know do you put cheese on it I don't even know I've never had one of these. You do a sharp vermouth cheddar. Yeah sharp cheddar yeah whatever condiments you can manage. A candied bacon. Okay now you're talking now you're talking yeah candied bacon yeah. Lean into

You're at the state fair, you know? Yeah. But you bring this home, you watch this, and before

The SWAMP (01:05:06.67)
watch this movie, what you do is this thing, I've seen it online once or twice, it's called an inception bomb. I thought you were going say Jaeger bomb and you're like, I've seen it online before. like, have we not done that together? Like, what do mean? Like, I'm like, what do mean this thing you saw? Are we not 19 years old? No, tell me what's an inception

It's a lot. If you can't hold your liquor, don't do it. But it's basically two different pin drinks, which a pin drink is where you like balance two shots and you pull one and do it and the other one drops into the drink. It's two of those, one inside the other. So what you do is you have it all balanced in a pitcher and

pull the pin and take a shot of tequila, which drops the Jaeger into the Red Bull, which you then take that, which drops the Jack Daniels into a beer and Coke mix, and then you drink that. It's real redneck shit. Why does the beer need to be there? I'm not sure. Jack Coke and beer? my God, that's not I didn't make it.

I think that there's actually a really classy and delicious way we could go about doing this chain of events, but it doesn't involve a single thing you just said. We could find a way to get a French 75 in there or something, then it drops into the champagne and the lemon juice. It doesn't need to be beer and coke.

Yeah, fair enough. I do agree with you there, but it did, for me having suggested that you have a donut burger, this felt right. Correct, yeah. So. And then what movie are you gonna watch afterwards? So for me, watching this movie, I decided that in my cinematic universe, that being John Malkovich and Black Swan take place in the same

The SWAMP (01:07:21.418)
space. Yeah. Because there is that big scene where he's got the giant life -size puppet and he's doing swan like. So I think you just go and watch Black Swan. It's also a little weird and you know. I think you Black Swan first.

in that duo because I want to come down off of Black Swan. I'm scared. I'm feeling tense. But suddenly this is so silly. It's a monkey flashback. guess. yeah. Yeah, fair enough. That is a good point. So yeah, I think you do those. You put them on 50 % opacity, layer them over each other, watch them at the same time so that the moment when she does her final performance is at the same exact moment as his Swan Lake. If we could make that happen, that'd be great.

Yeah, it's kind of like when you put on The Wizard of Oz, but mute it and play Dark Side of the Moon. yep. Yeah, same idea. Yeah, we're gonna do the audio of Black Swan, but with the visuals of being John Malkovich. You know what? I think that would be something.

I'm already connecting, I'm drawing the red yarn of my mind. So Maxine is the same as the Vincent Castle character, think, then maybe Mila Kunis and Lottie Cameron Diaz, they're kind of the same.

It's working. I am choosing another movie in which somebody uses somebody else's Vessel of a body to have sex with somebody else through like greater through like greater Metaphysical means that's the movie ghost. Okay.

The SWAMP (01:09:08.46)
To spoilers for ghosts, but Patrick Swayze has sex with Demi Moore through the vessel that is Whoopi Goldberg, and I think that that is completely Wait, they lesbian out? Well, not to spoil ghosts, but they basically John Malkovich it, and the ghost of Patrick Swayze John Malkovich is into Demi Moore. What? In a sort of way. In Demi Moore? Yeah. And Whoopi.

Whoopi is John Malkovich. okay. yeah, they... I mean, it's technically... Well, yes. So that's why I think you should watch that movie next. I've never seen Ghost. It's been on my list for ages. It's a good one. It's Whoopi. It's Whoopi really hitting a run. It's Whoopi Goldberg beating me to death with a bat and me saying thank you. Okay, yeah, you sold me then.

Molly, you a danger girl. And what would you rate this movie? I'm gonna give it an eight. Yeah, I gave it four stars on Letterboxd and since then I'm like, should I go back and give it the extra half? Every now and then I will. I don't know. If you've been thinking about it, I feel like you probably should. I've been known to go back and change a Letterboxd review. - Things that do not sit with me with time, down. But

This one, yeah, I'm gonna agree with you on eight, but honestly, Catch Me On A Day, and I might be calling it a nine. This movie really fucking fire. So good, blew me out water. I a fun time. So much better than I was expecting. Not that I really had any expectations going into it, but I was just so pleasantly surprised at just how well -written, put together, silly, absurd, like just everything, every detail, the low ceilings on the seven and a half, four that Octavia Spencer gets you to, like, work.

I'm there. Thank you all so much for listening and as we have been yapping about you can go over to the Patreon for extra bonus content specifically next month TV related hot D we'll be talking about but amongst other things check out our social media if you want to be a resident movie suggester just start suggesting movies that's all you have to do is just DM us and tell us what movies to watch we put them in a big list and we think about themes we pick from the list most of the time

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