The Hobbit (1977)

LotR December is underway, and we begin in The Shire, in a hobbit hole in Hobbiton, with a Rankin/Bass animated classic that achieves in under 90 minutes what Peter Jackson failed to do with an entire 10 hour trilogy... If you're a LotR stan, feel free to clock our misinformed lore, and if you're not, join along with Middle-Earth-Virgin Emily in watching these epic adventure films for the first time! Down Down To Goblin Town!!

We also recorded this the DAY before the Spotify/Apple Wrapped came out, and to report back Emily's top artist was Greta van Fleet, Dara's was Hozier, and Jen's was The Script. And a huge thanks to those who've shared with us that The Swamp made it's way onto yours! 

Cynthia Erivo Doing The Wicked Riff In Target, But It's Slow

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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.204)
And may the hair on your toes never fall out. A toast to you. I'm gonna put those that in my wedding vows actually. Honestly, may the hair on your toes never fall out. That's a real one. And the way that they all toast, but they toast to like smog's demise. They're like, curse him and they all cheers. We gotta do more than that. Bring back like a haters cheer. Like let's all cheers to the downfall.

of this person we hate, Absolutely. I can get behind that. Yeah, more haters. Well, Well, in the spirit of being a hater and a lover and the multifaceted human being with opinions and complexities, we're going to tackle something kind of big. This is our first, I mean, like the only other big project I can think of undertaking like this is kind of like

what are May months or something like that? Cause they have to be like decent, like this is actually just like a lot of hours. We, so we do themes here on the swamp each month. you're a loose theme. you're new, this is not educational. I'm so sorry. If you think you're going to learn anything like this is not, this is not it. And if you've never seen the Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit, we're also probably not going to do a great job with like plot summary and cohesive, like recapping. is

Very silly. I described this recently to somebody as our film diary that we just make public. Basically. Yeah, that's good way of putting it. I'm like, this is my film diary and a phone call with my friend that I just put on the internet for some reason, right? So. Yeah. Whenever I tell people about it, they're like, like how long have you been doing it? And I'm like, like we would just get drunk on FaceTime during COVID. And then we were like, let's just record it. And I'm like, you've been doing this for years and it's still this bad? And I'm like, well.

You still have a liver? me. But so we're going to do the Lord of the Rings. And instead of delving into any live action hobbitry, we simply must return to what I believe is the best adaptation. I think they did in 77 minutes what Peter Jackson could not do in 10 hours with that fuck ass 2010 trilogy. So we're going to get into the whole

The SWAMP (02:23.694)
Lord of the Rings as a concept, as a general, but we're gonna take it one movie at a time. So we're covering the 1977 animated Hobbit today. We're pulling it way back. For the following three weeks, we will be doing the Peter Jackson trilogy as is to be expected. So we're doing a big old Lord of the Rings month, bitches. So if that's not your thing, go rewind back, find some old episodes of some movies that you have seen or that you're into that we've covered.

If you're not a fantasy ass bitch, I'm sorry. December is just not going to be for you, but I'm here for it because you've never seen them. That's what I'm going to say. Give it a shot because I am here watching these for the first time as well. So if you want to have a parasocial movie relationship with me for the month of December, we can watch Lord of the Rings together and you can kiki with me in the morning on your ride to work. So and I'm not an expert. I wouldn't call myself like a deep

fan of the lore. I've never read any of the books, but I love the movies. I really enjoy them. I try to watch the trilogy as often as the energy in my body will allow because it's it's draining. It's a lot. Yeah, I well that's the thing about it. And that's the reason like, I've waited so long, you know, I'm 25 never seen the Lord of the Rings and I'm

a movie person, you know? That's one of those ones that it's like, okay, you do have to do your due diligence at some point. And I, yeah, if I was going to do it, I think I had to be sat down and like forced to do it because getting involved in a new world is a lot of work. And so that's the one thing that I really appreciated about this choice for this movie. Thank you for putting this in front of me because

I would have had to like claw my way through if we started I think right at like the Lord of the Rings. Which I know it's a big time jump and everything like that and different characters, but at least I have like a general understanding now of like who's who and what are the elves and like the old and like you know. A lot of same characters actually. Gandalf's there, Bilbo's I do know that. Elrond is there. Like you're gonna get some old homies popping back up. Sick. But yeah I definitely think.

The SWAMP (04:43.65)
This is the perfect like soft launch into your foiree into Middle Earth for sure. And it's only 77 minutes as opposed to I'm assuming that are we going to do the extended cuts? probably just the regular. I have the director's cuts. It's because I don't think we're going to get into that level of nitty gritty.

As far as like this is not an analysis. This is just our fucking opinions So I think we can just go bog standard because there's you can just see you know The basic theatrical cuts but I did want to ask like what is your history or relationship with this IP in general? Like have you seen anything? Nothing. Well, no, that's a lie. That's a lie I don't know if you recall but in 2014 you took me to the theater

and we sat down and we watched, hold on, what one was Desolation of Smog? No, no, The Battle of the Five Arbys. The third one, okay, work. very specifically. So I had never seen any other Hobbit movies and I went in knowing nothing and I left knowing nothing because that is just about, I think the only movie that I've ever fallen asleep in the theater watching.

And arguably that's like the most dog shit of any of them. So the Hobbit prequels are like the Hobbit is a prequel obviously to Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit was a book of course Lord of the Rings were books written by J.R.R. I say Tolkien. I think it's supposed to be Tolkien but-

I'm a total can. How did he write it? What came first? Lord of First. Okay. Yeah. The Hobbit came first and he actually retroactively changed some stuff in the Hobbit after he wrote Lord of the Rings to make them more connected, like names of places and like certain little details. It was like after he had sort of fleshed out the world before he's like they are. He's like, just want to make it line up, you know? So he went back and it's like, yeah, that makes sense to me. I get that. I'm not mad about that. And the Hobbit is like more of a

The SWAMP (06:49.314)
children's book, it's considered to be like young adult or children's literature, even though it is like pretty intense as far as like themes of like violence and war and it's pretty, you know, complex and world building and stuff. But it's supposed to be like, you know, for, for kids generally. the, the Narnia level. Yes. Well, yes. So JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis who wrote the Narnia books were like besties and they had like a through their whole lives. Yeah. They actually have a really interesting like relationship.

through the years. I bet there's like a really dope YouTube video essay on this. I'm willing to bet my life on about like what their whole deal was. But he basically, fought in World War I, JR R Tolkien did. He fought in World War I. He didn't want to be in the war. He was like not into it. And so all of this is kind of based off of his experiences with that and being generally like anti-war and sort of that whole thing.

but he wrote The Hobbit first and then The Lord of the Rings series is then like, it's a very dense, very intense fantasy books that are not for kids. So it's sort of this like a companion prequel situation, but they're also like definitely for two pretty different audiences, which I would say that the movies are as well. Like this is a children's movie and The Lord of the Rings movies are very intense, violent adult action films. Well, and it's okay. it's,

Is it three movies for the Lord of the Rings? Is it three books and three movies based on each book? Or how is it broken up? Because is the Hobbit also one book? The Hobbit is just one book. There are six books, but the first three are The Fellowship of the Ring, which is books one and two. The Two Towers is books three and four. Return of the King is books five and six. And then there's like a bunch of appendices and

maybe like fucking other like supplemental material, I think. But I think generally, yeah, it's the the movies go with the books, but the books are a little different. You can also buy them like, I'm sure like the same way Dune, you know, Dune is book one and two by doing together as one. I think it's much like that. But again, I have not read them. So I can't really say I'm well, I'm interested to know because

The SWAMP (09:04.302)
Again, first time I'm seeing any of this, first time watching this movie, obviously it's like a TV, it's a book made for kids, it's a TV movie made for kids. You can definitely tell that there's a lot of trimming of the fat here. like, mean, I could imagine it's just massive what you lose. I mean, especially considering that Peter Jackson did make three full movies based off of The Hobbit.

but i mean i don't know movies but they were bad yeah well that's my question is like do you think that this was would you prefer it cut down and all sort of the fat chopped off or would you have it sort of extended in the way that peter jackson probably did because it doesn't seem like from what from what you're telling me three movies is necessary no so i think absolutely even though this movie cuts out so much of the book i'm sure

I think that the kids movie, the animation, the whimsy captures like the essence of what the Hobbit is, which is a piece of children's media to extrapolate it and to show the battles and to have it be this really intense three-part trilogy just isn't the vibe. Like that's the Lord of the Rings vibe. That's not the Hobbit vibe. So I like that they turned this down. I know a lot of like deep lore fans like don't like the stuff that they cut out. But I don't.

care. You know, it's fun. It's light. There are songs. Give me songs instead of more. Instead of me plots and backstories of characters I don't fucking care about. Show me Gollum and Riddles. Give me folk songs about goblins and fun animation. Like that's what I'm here for for this one because I think we then get the Lord of I mean, we are of course coming from a retrospective 2024, you know.

We have the Lord of the Rings already. I didn't think they needed to remake Lord of the Rings as the Hobbit, is almost what ended up happening. Whereas like this, think it could just be this little standalone thing. But from what I do know, the reason why the live action 20, I think the first one came out in 2012, maybe the trilogy with fucking. Yeah, they really ripped it. Bendy Dick Cumberbumble as fucking Smaug. Bullshit. No, I will say I.

The SWAMP (11:24.28)
from what I know about it and I haven't seen him so I can't say anything but I obviously am, you know, living in the 21st century so I'm online and I've seen his performance. But I really appreciated it and I think that he probably took a good, at least from the way that I interpreted it, I had to think that he took something from whoever did the voice performance for Smog in this.

Yes, I just love smugging this one so much more that I was kind a cat dragon, it's awesome. love his character design. His cat ears and his like weird furry tail and shit. Yeah, really cool interpretation of a dragon. But from what I understand, the reason why the Peter Jackson Hobbit trilogy movies are so terrible is because Jaramal Del Toro was contracted to do these movies. Makes sense. he had done

years of pre-production, years of planning, years of storyboarding. Yeah, I'm sure it would have been gas. Something, something MGM bankruptcy, something, something project needed to get changed hands because of money, something, something. They just give it back to Peter Jackson and say, we start tomorrow. So he had like no pre-pro planning. So therefore production was such a mess where they were just shooting shit that they had no idea what they were going to do with. And that's why it ended up being sort of this CGI mess because

it wasn't planned well because of money stuff. And so then he was like, I will do my best. But of course, the Lord of the Rings took years to plan. Well, yeah, this is very different. And I think just with new technology, they just relied a little bit too much on CG and shit. And it just ended up being kind of messy and unorganized. And because it was astonishing to me to realize that he had done the Hobbit prequels as well, because I was like, he knocked it out of the park with

the Lord of the Rings trilogy, of course. And so I was like, why are these ass? And so I was reading into it and I was like, this checks. Unfortunately, it checks. But you don't need to watch them. You can just watch the 77 minute, 1977. Is it 77 minutes? It's an hour. It's a little longer than that. yeah, something, something around there. Yeah, no. Well, it it's so funny because like, like you said, they just handed him this and said, go crazy. And they came out in like succession.

The SWAMP (13:44.43)
2012, 13, and 14. So they didn't even try to slow it down. It was really entirely just a cash grab, which is obvious, but especially even more now, like Jesus Christ. And I really, remember, I remember like snapping into consciousness and like having media literacy cognizance, like around that age. Because I remember being like, I want to like this so bad.

And yet I cannot, like the Tumblr community, I remember, the fan fiction was going hard. Well, especially with Benedict Cumberbatch attached to that, like, yeah. It was, no, no, no. It was the fucking dwarves, bitch. It was the dwarves fucking each other. the fan fiction, yeah. Well, I just figured everyone would have loved having him attached considering that he was, you know. Sherlock, yeah. Yeah. Of course, of course. No, it was a...

Bollendwallen, Feelykeely, Dory, Ori, Nori, Owen, Golan, Bifford, Beaufort, Bumber, and Thor and Oakenshield. They were those bitches. They were what got- Apparently. Through the days. Yeah, yeah. You know, dwarf orgies. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That was the bad. That totally checks. mean- And you know what? They didn't make any of the dwarves fuckable in this movie. And I respect that. not a single- I think smog is kind of fuckable, honestly.

The dragon. mean, we will play fuck, marry, kill at the end of this get to it. get to it. As we always do. But they tried to make the dwarves fuckable in the live action version. Some of them, like three. were like, out of 13 of you, three will be hot. One will be on the edge and the other ones will be unfuckable. And the Tumblr girl said, absolutely not. They're all fuckable. You know what? my I'm gonna take your three and I'll round it up to 13 bitch. And the girls, I'll tell you what. They...

They were staunch, all right? If they had an opinion on someone's looks, they were not gonna fold. I have seen this movie before and I am a fan. This is my hobbit rendition of preference, of course, as we have well established. I think the animation is beautiful. Stunning. It's crunchy, chunky, whatever. I love it. I don't care. I think that we grew up with...

The SWAMP (16:02.254)
similar sort of styles. mean, obviously, I mean, we're like 98, 99 babies. But I know, like I grew up watching like, a year without a Santa Claus, because that's the shit that was like on ABC and CBS. And also like, this is the same production company. well, let me get into it. Because I fell down a real rabbit hole on this one. It's not exactly the same.

company, I don't believe so, that did Year Without a Santa Claus, but they do have a couple of overlapping ones. It's like the precursor to Year Without a Santa Claus or something Santa Claus is coming to town. Santa Claus is coming to town. Yes, yes, exactly. they did, so. The claymation ones, know, the general claymation TV movie of the 60s. Yes. Yes, so claymation ones, Frosty the Snowman is also a notable one.

Also a good chunk of like comic book sort of things like He-Man and She-Ra. Also one of note, The Flight of the Dragons. There's a couple of people that were on this team who went on to work on a handful of Naruto and also just so many like different video games and things like that. Along with another notable mention, one of the team, one of the people on this team went on to do the art production for Kill Bill, which is really cool. But...

Yeah, can I get on my soapbox for it? Or can I stay on my soapbox for a minute? Please. Okay. this was really cool actually going down into this rabbit hole. The company that this is called Top Craft and Company and this is all basically coming from like Wikipedia straight. Wikipedia. The Wikipedia. Thank you. Give them your dollar. Stay in business. Yes. Established in 1972 by

animator and producer Toru Hora. And it was all coming out of Japan. Famous for I'm gonna butcher this. Now sec. I can't even say it's something of the Valley of the Wind 1984. I don't know. I'm not gonna produce it well or pronounce it well. But essentially what ended up happening is in

The SWAMP (18:21.134)
1980 something or so, they went bankrupt, split into two different teams. right. One went on to become called Pacific Animation Company, which did these things like shows called like Thundercats and Silverhawks, of course, ends up getting bought out by the mouse eventually and became their Japanese branch of animators. But the other half that split off and went off with Toru Hara.

He became the founder, well, no, sorry, he became Studio Ghibli's first manager. And so like half of the team that did this ended up being like some of the first animators and producers for Studio Ghibli, basically. So that's why it looks fucking great. Yeah, exactly. Because a lot of these people worked on, know, Kiki's Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro.

Great with the fireflies, castle in the sky, all that shit. So yeah, very, very cool stuff. And obviously Miyazaki got involved and everything like that. He wasn't on this team to my knowledge, but yeah, really cool stuff. mean, one of my things that the whole reason that I even got into looking into this was because I really loved the way that the spiders looked in this, loved them. And it really brought me back.

to the way that the old Scooby-Doo animations used to look specifically, specifically. Girls. Hex Girls. I was going to say Ghoul School. There's this one character from that one, which is really old school. Yeah, one of the really, really old early ones. It's like red shirt shaggy. So like one of the first ones. so yeah, love that. But I will say one of

these producers did work on Scooby-Doo, where is it? my god, and did you trace the lineage from the spider storyboards to the ghoul school? Because that's some red line. No, they didn't. That's some Pepe Silvia shit. No, they didn't work on ghoul school, but it was, what is it, like this werewolf one?

The SWAMP (20:31.982)
Scooby-Doo, fuck. I love that you're like, why does this feel nostalgic even though I've never seen it? And you're like, okay, wait, you're without a Santa Claus. Yes. Plus Studio Ghibli plus Scooby-Doo equals why am I feeling this way? Like, that jobs. But it was the old school Scooby-Doo movie. What is it? Zombie Island. Zombie Island. cute. And we are so freaking.

What's up, Jen? It's been a minute on the Swamp since you've been here. And it's been a minute since the Swamp was of inequality. We've been slacking lately. We've been busy. It's the holidays. you know what? All is fair in Swamp and Swamp. So we're glad you're here. We're all doing great. We're here to do Chocolate or Vanilla, your interim podcast segment where you're going to say two things. We're all just going to say which one we like better. Is there a theme this week? And also, hi, how are you? I am pretty good. And the theme is

Just music. Play. This is all music that's on my Spotify playlists somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. And we're just doing straight song V song. Yep. Song V song. And there is like theme within a theme because each one is from the same playlist. So the two of them kind of go together. You know what I'm saying? Sure. Yeah. Also, this is a PSA. If anyone out there is a copyright lawyer and can help me, I would

love to add clips of these songs when Jen does chocolate or vanilla, like I would love a little snippet or something, but can someone just tell me definitively, I don't think I'm allowed to use anything, right? Like I don't want to do it and then have our shit get taken down. That's why I never have in the past. for it. But if someone can cite me illegal, we'll have to pay. Yeah, from what I remember, it's just

no matter what we'd end up having to pay. You don't want to for these songs, by the way. There are some big names here. Big names. Yeah. Well, whatever. But if somebody has a loophole, if somebody has like a we make no money, we have only like 10 people listen to this. Who's going to sue? But if there's like a I think there's like a certain amount of time that you can use before, but I'm not exactly sure. I looked into that. And then even then it's like even then sometimes not.

The SWAMP (22:55.694)
chill. but it may be the artist themselves has to like reach out or something. Yeah, it's just a process probably. I thought you were going to do a PSA if anybody wants me to make them a music mix. my god, would love a Jen's music mix for Christmas. So true though. Jen's actually pretty much a pro. I'm making a playlist for the function because she'll think of everyone who's going to be there and she'll add a little song just for that.

She knows that person like. you'll be, we'll be at like a function and I'll hear all my ears will start perking up. I'm like, Jen added this for me. Thank God. Love it. And then I'm always guessing. I'm like, who did she have in mind when she added this one? I wonder. Who's the Chris Daughtry and in the group? What's going on here? So anyway, chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. I'm going to go vanilla this week.

Yeah, I'm going to go vanilla because I have been picking vanilla more than chocolate lately. Wow. The tides are turning. you won't get fooled again by the who or it feels like the first time by Foreigner. I feel like I don't really know either of these songs are like tickling my brain, but I think I would typically pick the who over foreigner as a whole. So I guess I will go with the who on this one.

I'm going to have to agree with you on that statement, but I also don't know this song in general. think that my taste is probably just more who than foreigner. So I'm going to have to go foreigner though, I guess, because that's the only song I know. Yeah. I'm going to go foreigner because they were super big when I was in high school and yeah, feels like the first time they did at the acapella battle on Pitch I bet. my God. Of course.

Next one is Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon or Single Ladies by Beyonce. my God. my God. What is that? Hydrogen bomb versus coughing baby? It's like literally, literally, I'm sorry who and then Beyonce. It's Beyonce. I'm sorry Walk the Moon who I saw at Boston Calling in freaking 2014 or some shit.

The SWAMP (25:09.166)
Apologies to this man, but I could pass him on the street and I wouldn't know a thing. Miss Beyonce is taking it. Yeah, sorry. I'm not going for the Target commercial song. going single ladies on this. Yeah, single ladies for the sweep, of course. Iconic. one. Hummel in his basement with the Cheerios doing single ladies. Specifically, please. Tina and Britney. Yes, Tina and Britney.

his, yeah, his dad locked me in, clocked me on my glee Lord just then. I know it's a cheerio. Try it. Shouldn't even try it. next one is, cruel summer by banana Rama or summer of 69 by Brian Adams. I don't know if I know cruel summer by banana Rama, but summer of 69. So I shall be picking her.

Yeah, same reasoning, same logic. I'm going with Dara's choice as well. What is Banana Rama's most famous song? What's what's the one that I would know by them? I feel like this might be it. This was on the Karate Kidz soundtrack. And I will. Yeah, actually, I'm looking at a list of their most popular songs and I don't I don't know any of them. So they were also on they were on.

We Are The World, remember that one? well, of course. Yeah, they were on that. wasn't? If you weren't invited to We Are The World, then that was a bigger sign. I'm going to go Summer 69 because fun question to ask people, who was your first concert? And mine was Brian Adams. Fair enough. Who was yours, Emily? I think hers is someone good.

No, I think it was Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. is really good. That's good one. you. Thank you. Yeah, that's a pretty iconic one. I definitely need a good chunk of girls our age can all agree on that. What about you? What was yours? Wait, no, I know yours. Mine goes from zero to 100. If you count the first one, we popped by a bar where the band Flogging Molly, who are an Irish punk band, playing.

The SWAMP (27:27.566)
And we were there for a couple of songs and I was present and I do remember it. But then my first official like concert concert, I went with you and your family and we saw Fleetwood Mac and it was iconic. Yeah, yeah. I will say I am very blessed to have the mother that I have had because she has wanted, she's made it a thing to make sure that I see all the good big guys before they all die. So yeah. She said, Billy Jor-

Joel Farewell tour were there. Ellen, John Fair, Rolling Stones already got the tickets. Yeah, no. Shout out Jean for keeping me cultured. Next one is chocolate, vanilla or strawberry? Chocolate. I'll stick vanilla right now. I'll go vanilla. You got the right stuff by New Kids on the Block, Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC or I Want You Back.

by Jackson 5. I want you back by the Jackson 5. Yeah, yeah, I'm a big Jackson 5 girl. Motown. You love Motown. Love Motown. Yeah, that that is a banger song. I love that song. I will go Jackson 5 too. But I did see New Kids on the Block down in DC with my girlfriends and it was really fun. I bet. Next one is Love Shack by the B-52s or Paradise City by Guns N' Roses.

Ooh, Love Shack, I went to an academic summer camp where we lived out of college when we were in like eighth and ninth grade and we like took little college classes over the summer. I was like for nerds, but they had dances. But since all of us were so awkward, all the dances like kind of had to be choreographed. So it was like, you know, the big ones like YMCA and shit, but then they're like, we're running out. So they would make up choreo for us to learn specifically to Love Shack that I'm pretty sure like if put in a trance, my muscle memory could walk it out to this day.

Also love the B-52s. Rock Lobster, think might be my most played song of the year on Spotify this year, perhaps. When Rock Tits, she's in the top 100 every year for sure. Every time summer comes around, I'm like, let's put on Rock Lobster. Everybody had matching towels. It's so good. It's the best karaoke song too, because you can kind of just say it.

The SWAMP (29:46.766)
like you do not have to sing. Yeah, taking a real Trixie stance on this one. Yes. Uh-huh. I'm gonna have to go up B-52s as well. They're just so camp. I feel like if any gay person is given this question, it's the B-52s. You have to. I am with you guys. B-52s for the sweep. Next one, Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone by Bill Withers or That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be by Carly Simon.

I don't know that second one, but I'll pick Bill Withers. What is it? Just the two of us by Bill Withers that will also be on my top 100 this year for Spotify that has one of the best saxophone solos. Perhaps perhaps on the market. Yeah, I'm going to go. Yeah, Ain't No Sunshine. I fucking love that song. Yeah, me too. Me too. Getting a lot of sweeps here, by the way, you guys. Next one is Red Solo Cup.

by Toby Heath or Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Speaking of Glee, Red Solo Cup, Lynyrd Skynyrd Sweet Home Alabama is seared into my mind a way no other song quite is because for some reason it was like fairly hard on Guitar Hero, not like like through the fire and flames hard, but it was like fairly hard and I could shred it.

to the where I could like do it backwards with my eyes closed and shit, like big party trick energy. And I wasn't even really good at Guitar Hero otherwise. I could just do that one song like fucking ripped. And like, was like, this, I'll make friends because of this, right? Like absolutely the fuck not girl, but. I don't know, man. I have the, those exact same memories seared into my brain because I was there. Well, yes. So yeah.

Yeah, you at least clocked me and pulled me in. yeah, I guess I'll go Sweet Home Alabama as iconic as that Glee performance of Red Solo Cup is. That's my cup, my cup saying what's up to my cup. No, no, they did Red Solo Cup on a different episode, the one where they drink. Sam sings it. nice. No, no, all drinking for the first time. my God, again with the Glee lore. It was not in Blame It On The Alcohol season two episode.

The SWAMP (32:03.758)
14? I think 12? Something like that? don't know. Yeah, Sam sings it though. could have told you that. What's what's up, Sam? What's up to my cup? That is Trump's all. If we're offering that, say what's up to my cup. Yeah, of course, of course. She takes it. I will go with Red Solo Cup though. Next one. Genie in a Bottle by Xtina or One Week by Bare Naked Ladies.

Yes, man, one way, look at me. Why do I feel like we listen to so much Barenaked Ladies growing up in household? I don't know any Barenaked Ladies. my God, they iconically, they do some of the songs in Coraline, like, you know, Coraline's dad who's making up, but that's the energy. OK, OK. That makes sense. know, Chicken, the China, the Chinese Chicken? Questionable. Yes, yes. That's Barenaked Ladies as well. Fair enough, fair enough.

Yeah, I guess I'll go Bear Naked Ladies then. Yeah, me too. I'll go B &L. Next one, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham or We Built This City by Jefferson Starship. Wham. Wham notably passed Mariah Carey today on the Christmas charts. What's the Wham song? Last Christmas. Last Christmas by Wham surpassed Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You on the charts like...

for the first time ever in history or some shit. I saw a tweet about it. That's fucking huge, Wham their flowers today. yeah, let's go. Yeah, I'll go Wham for this one as well. This for me is picking between two of my high school friends because Kathy loved George Michael and my friend Joey D used to just break out into We Built This City for no reason. Love. So just because I got his Christmas card today and there is no way he's ever going to be listening,

though. Joey D. We built this city just for you. Shouts out Joey D. The only reason I know that song is because of New Girl. If you're a New Girl fan, there's a plot line where Schmidt used to be overweight and they said we built this Schmidty on Tootsie Rolls and that's that is what that song is to me. It's just a joke in New Girl. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's that's pretty good. So next one.

The SWAMP (34:24.436)
is sale by AWOL Nation or good life by one republic my god you're clocking into my freaking middle school ipod shuffle right now as a as a 2012 cat meme girly as a social currency was cat memes in the day and the cat jumping to the tune of sale that got bitches cleared like that absolutely

got me more friends than Lynyrd Skynyrd for sure. I was always hot on the memes because I was on Tumblr and everyone else wasn't on Tumblr and the memes always came from there first, know? Hot on the pulse. Yeah, you were the first one who really sat down and said, I'm going to figure out this format. I'm going to go sale as well. I recently rewatched that episode of Fleabag with that iconic scene.

I'll go with sale also. Next one is Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen, In the Mood by Glenn Miller, or the Feather theme from Forrest Gump. my god, not the Feather theme from Forrest Gump. This, by the way, is from my music mix, R.I.P. for my dad. He loved all three of these songs. I have a music mix from when I used to drive him around in the car and I kept it. R.I.P.

to his doctor's appointment, rest in peace, beepa. I called my grandpa beepa, we all did. And my husband, one time was like, are you guys like Italian or some shit? Like, why are you calling him beepa? And I'm like, we just couldn't say grandpa when we were little, we said beepa. It was like, that's just a thing. Weird white people shit, know, Mima and beepa. It's, know. I'll have to go specifically, dancing in the dark.

by Bruce Springsteen, but I really liked the Lucy Dacus version, me personally, but I liked the Bruce Springsteen version as well. And Jeremy Allen White, question mark, we'll have to see. What were my other options besides Dixon and Stark? In the Mood by Glenn Miller or the feather theme from Forrest Gump. I'm going to go In the Mood by Glenn Miller. That's classic. that's one of my favorites to like come back to and drum.

The SWAMP (36:45.166)
Yeah, All right. Just to round it out, I will go for the feather theme so we can all pick one. But my gosh, if we were at a wedding and Dancing in the Dark came on, my dad would like run onto the dance floor. dementia ridden, not a brain cell left. Yet Bruce Springsteen, would clock that. He would know. He doesn't know your name, he doesn't know my name, but he knew Bruce's name. Yep. Fair enough. Next one is Defying Gravity.

from Wicked or Waving Through a Window from Dear Evan Hansen? Fuck Dear Evan Hansen. Are you fucking kidding me? I've got a hydrogen bomb coughing baby. Are you kidding me? I actually I saw somebody say, which I completely agree. I haven't seen the Wicked movie yet, but obviously I've listened to the soundtrack and I know the iconic Cynthia Erivo take on the Defying Gravity riff that we all have been hearing named a lot lately. And somebody is like, wouldn't it have been

If they withheld that from all the marketing, so then the first time you get to hear her do her alpha ball battle cries in the movie theater, or if you choose to listen to the soundtrack, why were they putting that at the end of the trailers and shit? Save that, that's the big, especially because she did kind of her own thing on it too. Agreed, agreed. thought that was really strange that they rolled it out. And I mean, I recently sat down and I actually saw Wicked, so it does still hit in the theater, but it would have hit 10 times.

If I didn't know, right? My favorite video is the one of her and Target. This is, out to my friend, Kevin, who loves this video of, it's this Target commercial where Cynthia Arebo, everyone's like singing the riffs kind of badly. And then Cynthia Arebo comes in and like shows everyone how to do it. But there's this one version that's slowed down like by a thousand percent. So it's just her like.

The SWAMP (38:37.046)
Like forever. It's all distorted and grainy and it's so funny. I'll link it in the description below. That video went around friends giving. Cracking my shit up. Like somebody will start doing the Wicked Riff but then my friend Kevin will come in with the slowed down, like perfect on pitch slowed down Cynthia Arrevo in Target Riff. Yes, that's it. Yeah. I'm with you guys for Divine Gravity. Also,

an amazing glee moment. classic. Next one, Hakuna Matata from Lion King or You're Welcome from Moana. I feel like I just respect the Lion King as an entity, except they're doing bullshit sequels to those both right now in the theaters, actually. So like, don't respect Disney, Disney's creative IPs for fucking anything these days. Like that shit is they're just like ringing it out.

until it's so fucking over. Like it just makes me, it makes me curious. It's truly exhausting. But I will say in the moment when it hit, Akuna Matata was just more influential, more iconic, more groundbreaking than Dwayne The Rock Johnson telling people they should be allowed to sing in the fucking movie theater. He said that, him and Cynthia Arevo both were like, people can sing? No! I'm telling you right now, can whisper, you can even do a giggle. Do not.

sing in the movie theater. Do that at your house. Or they actually they have showings now, like sing-along showings. A lot of movie theaters do that nowadays. Don't be that guy though. Go find one on a Tuesday afternoon at one o'clock. yeah. kids, no, for real. Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Cunha and Tata on this one as well. All I'm gonna go with You're Welcome because I love that song. I think I've told a story about one of my patients wouldn't do any exercises until we sang that song at every

So you're like, I know the lyrics. You're like, I know the rap. I know the breakdown. I know the chorus. we sang it loud and proud. She and I. Next one is Run the World Girls by Beyonce. Straight up Paula Abdul or Girl on Fire. Alicia Keys. Beyonce once again is simply taking this cake. Agreed. Yeah, I guess I'll go with Beyonce, although I love Alicia Keys. Paula Abdul.

The SWAMP (41:04.29)
You're Paula in there, you're throwing Paula to the wolves, This is from my girl power mix, by the way. Nice. Next one is September by Earth, Wind & Fire or You Make My Dreams Come True, Hall & Oates. two great ones. Jen and I were supposed to see Hall & Oates and then COVID happened and then the concert got delayed and then Hall & Oates broke up forever. Forever.

RIP to that, RIP to us. So fuck you, Hall and Oates, I didn't even get to fucking see you. So I'll pick, what was the first one? Yeah, September by Earth, Wind and Fire. Of course, of course. Yeah, I'll go September as well. Yeah, me too. This is last one. And this is my play mix when I asked people to pick a song they thought Gary would like, by the way. Sister Golden Hair, America, or With or Without You, you two.

Sister Holden Hair by America, like as soon as the temperature breaks 65 and you can like drive with all your windows down, you're like not on a highway, but you're like on like some back roads and shit. Well, I guess highway also works, but you know, driving with the windows down when you're going fast is a way different vibe than when you're like rocking a steady 45 or some shit. That's just more of a vibe. So gotta go with America. Wind in my hair. Never do I feel so fucking patriotic.

Agreed. Sister Golden Hair for me as well. Fuck you too. Yeah, fuck you too for downloading that fucking album onto my phone. I will go with Sister Golden Hair also. the YouTube songs I like the best are Beautiful Day and Stuck in a Moment. You got to get yourself together. You got stuck in a moment you can't get out of. That one. like that one.

Yeah. That is it for a bunch of stuff from my Spotify playlists. yeah. Right. hopefully, hopefully, I was just about to say, hopefully, wrapped is out. I'm doing a meme for my work and my boss keeps me like, Dara, where's the meme? And I'm like, the wrapped isn't out yet. I can't make the meme based on the wrapped if the wrapped isn't out. And I'm like, what the heck? It's come out late November or this is the latest it has ever been. And I'm like, I do not know what to tell you. They're delaying it on purpose to delay me.

The SWAMP (43:18.926)
I got messages from my rap for 2022 and 2023 recently. They're like, do you want to listen to your rap from 22 and 23? like, no, I want this year's. bitch, I want the new one. I want the new one.

We will report back in once the raft is out. We'll all report back in with who our top artists are. Do we have any predictions? What do you guys think yours will be? I know mine's going to be Greta Van Fleet, that's for sure. Which is wild that yours might be and mine will not be. Yeah. So that's hilarious. Who will yours be, I don't know. It was Hosear last year. It might be Hosear again this year. But also I've been listening to lot of Supertramp randomly. Went on a deep Supertramp kick.

like in the summer, I might've racked my numbers up. My friend Rachel had a baby and she's like upset that the music she plays for her baby is gonna influence her Spotify rap. She's like, the freaking Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song is gonna be my number one. She's like, I don't even get my real statistics. I get my baby's statistics. That does suck.

That happened to me the year I drove people to a bunch of appointments. They were like, we think you might like like Frank Sinatra my way. But no, mine is definitely going to be I am one of the top point zero zero zero zero one percent of listeners from this of the script. love the script and I always I am always their top listener.

There should be, if you're in the .01 or higher, I feel like you should get a discount code for like their shows or something. I always felt like there should, they did those stupid little personalized videos last year where they were like, thanks. I'm like, no, give me a fucking 20 % off your merch or some shit, right? Like reward me for being in the upper echelon of your fans. could, how many people could it really be? A hundred? A pre-fail code for your tickets or something. Should we do that?

The SWAMP (45:16.514)
We'll start sending out personalized videos if you post your swamped raps on your Instagram story. Whatever they do this year, whatever fucking bullshit they do. Yeah, which we don't know because it hasn't come out yet. All right. Well, Jen, we love you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for cranking some tunes in our minds, our minds ear, if you will. I love you.

I love you guys so much. We'll see you next week. All right. All right. Have a nice night. Jen. But yes, no. So put some fucking respect on The Hobbit, nineteen seven eight seven. God damn it. No, because I try out some people don't are not into this. Some people do not like it. is crazy to me. Like, yeah, it's like silly and stupid, but it's literally like perfect movie to like sit down, hit your bong twice to and just.

Go crazy.

I don't need to be too involved in the plot. can sort of disassociate yet. It's like so comforting. know, if you kind of phase out for a little bit and phase back in, it's okay because the same thing basically happens like four times, right? Where they like encounter an enemy and then Bilbo gets them out of it, but not really. then they all sort of do it and then they escape. And then they escape and that happens like four different times, like with the wood elves and then with the spiders and then because that's how it's a book meant.

based on a book meant for kids, right? As Bilbo is growing, you see how he deals with these similar situations in a different way each time because we're learning lessons, right? Fuckin' duh. But you're gonna get on your production soapbox. I'm gonna get on my fuckin' soapbox right now. Please tell me. Because I was obsessed with the Gollum character design, first of all, because we all know the classic Andy Serkis as

The SWAMP (47:15.586)
Gollum Gollum in the live action movies. I think it's so iconic that I love that this is so different that he's like a weird like lizard guy. Well, I was getting I mean, to me, at least personally, it seemed really obvious that they based him off of giant like river otters. You know what I mean? yeah. Yeah. That is what he looks like. Yeah. The mouth specifically. And it was the eye.

in my opinion, but yes. The glassy, like, gray eyes too, like, still keeping it sort of fun and kid-friendly, but like that edge of creepiness where it's like a little creepy but not like scary scary. Because Gollum Gollum, Andy Serkis Gollum, is fucking scary. I have a friend who has a son who's like three maybe, and he loves Gollum.

And I'm like, you little shit, I'm obsessed with you. I'm like, that is awesome that you're three and you love Gollum because I specifically remember being really scared of Dobby as a little, little kid. Dobby from Harry Potter. did not like the way he looked. And then I also remember feeling that kind of same way about Gollum, like, that's not right. know, like But I want to get on my spider soap box because Gollum in that scene, Gollum calls Bilbo.

an outer cop, A T T E R C O P. I subtitles on. so I ping, that's a word I don't know. Who are you? Who are you? Okay. Brush it aside. But then later Bilbo calls the spiders outer cops. So I was like, clearly an insult, clearly an insult. We're saying it twice. I need to Google it. And interestingly, outer copus was an extinct fucking kind of arachnid, which

they were just like a nasty and I can, I'll send you a picture, but it kind of looks like something in between like a spider and like a scorpion almost. they're an extinct species of arachnid. So basically Gollum says to Bilbo, you're a nasty little spider. Meaning you're like an ill-natured person. Like to call someone like a spider. So he says, Atterkop. He says, okay, little spider. And then Bilbo says to the spiders,

The SWAMP (49:28.302)
You're a fucking extinct species of spider and then he proceeds to kill them. So Adderkop used both colloquially as like a you're a nasty spider, but then to a spider being like, I'm going to extinguish your fucking species. Obsessed. That's what I got out of this watch. Primarily I'm incorporating Adderkop in my day to day. You cut me off in traffic. Fucking Adderkop, you're an extinct ass spider. You're nothing to me. Okay.

I was gonna say, we said at the top of the episode that this is not gonna be educational, but I do feel like we've got a good couple of bits in here. My last one is that I will say that I wanna just point out that one Mr. Orson Bean who voiced Bilbo in this is one Mr. Dr. Lester from our recent favorite being John Malkovich. Mm-hmm, right? Sure.

Yeah, you would have never clocked that in course, well yeah, why wouldn't you? No, I was just really truffle hunting on the IMDB this week, Sniffing them out. Because sometimes when you have to do, well we don't have to do anything, but sometimes when you do an hour long podcast on a movie that's not much longer than an hour, you're like, how is this gonna work? Well, we are gonna talk about which dwarves we wanna fuck, so that's about an hour in itself.

Exactly. And the plot is like you said, same thing four times, five armies show up one right after the other. There's a battle. We don't see it. Everything is. I'm out of here. He puts on his ring and says, sorry, I hit my head. Yeah. Yeah. I'm out. Peace. And then everything ends up honky dory. Well, no, half the dwarves die. that's true. But that's the ring and goes home. So it's like.

Does is everything okay because they like fought all that so that Thorin could be the king under the mountain again and then he fucking dies at the end. So what even was it all for? I don't know, man. It's for Bilbo to get the ring so that we have an excuse to place the ring in the Shire at the beginning of the rings. Well, of course. Yes. That's the important thing. But yeah, other than that, it's like all fun and games. So I don't care what you cut in the middle. That's why I like exactly down down to Goblin Town.

The SWAMP (51:50.958)
I know that's right. Well, yes. The songs in this go so hard. I'm so obsessed with the folk music and shit. Not only were my eyes thrilled, but so were my ears. Yeah, this is like stimulating in such a way where it's like it's not too much, but it is a lot, like in a good way. Yeah, well, that's the only reason we survived the same plot being used over and over is because they throw a different song behind it every time and you're like, wait.

They're like, wait. don't care. There's like almost no difference between the goblins, the trolls and the wood elves. Like objectively all kind of the same. Yeah, character design just a little bit different. One's bigger than the other basically. The trolls are big and turn to stone. The spiders are spiders. The wood elves are thin and gray for some reason. my God, the plot where like they take them into prison and Bilbo's like, I searched for weeks. I was like, weeks. Yeah, right?

took you weeks to put them in barrels down the river? I truly do love that tidbit, because time in this is so fucked, because you have that, and then at the same time, right at the end of the movie where all of the five armies are coming together, it happens one right after the other. Not a single moment in between. Mash cut. Bilbo decided not to pay attention, so neither do you, and...

straight to the end. Honestly, me too, buddy. fucking useless. Pobo a nap behind a rock, and I get it. No, but Pobo is not useless because honestly- That's the whole thing is his journey and him figuring it out and becoming smart and courageous. I think if you're feeling any sort of imposter syndrome, Or like, imposter syndrome at your job or like overwhelmed or like fulfilling certain expectations, fulfilling big shoes, whatever.

watch this fucking movie because this movie tells the truth and it's all about some man, some man shows up and says, my name is Gandalf and that is me. You're coming with me. Literally smells you smoking your za and says, girl, you're coming with me. Me, when I take a step out onto my porch for a little smoke and then a wizard accosts me and makes me get a job.

The SWAMP (54:11.534)
Like, fucking wish. Yeah, when the wizard from down the street comes around with his big swinging back and says, what are you to do? I brought my 13 friends who are going to need a place to stay tonight. And also, you're hired for what? Yeah. Whatever I fucking say, bitch. And basically, Gandalf is like, you're going to be a burglar. And Bilbo's like, burglar? Burglar? I've never burgled a thing. And he's like, don't worry about it. You fucking got this. And every turn.

where it's usually Thorin is sort of our foil character to Bilbo. He's the head of the dwarves and he's kind of like, I doubt you. And Bilbo's always like, but look, I can figure out a problem. He's like, look at this map. Just look at the map. Duh, the map says what to do. Or he was like, just ask people for help. Figure shit out. Do a riddle. Solve a problem. Get a ring. You know, it's- Call it a day, one after the other. Like we are moving ahead. We are not going back.

We are not just looking back to the Shire, baby. We're writing a book on our adventures. Right there and back again. What did he call it? A hobbit? It's not a diary. He called it something silly in this because he called it something different in the other books. I also love at the very end where he's like, at least I have this ring. And Gandalf goes like, ha ha. Like he has this really stiff laugh of like.

Like he's like, maybe my family members will have something to do with it. And it's like very like foreboding and it's like, And I was like, you have no idea, bitch. And I, oop.

But yeah, don't know, imposter syndrome. You're just Bilbo doing your burgling, you know? You're gonna figure that shit out. You're gonna talk it, you're gonna get in there and say to smog, I'm Bilbo the barrel seeking when he's given himself all those titles. He got real cocky and shit. Yeah, that's for sure. deepening up my resume. That's me taking my work experience and saying that it is much more than it actually is. skills, bitch. Soft skills, they're soft for a reason. You can make them up, okay? Interpersonal conflict resolution.

The SWAMP (56:11.17)
Who's gonna call you on that? Well, who's to say? Who's to say? I can't tell you to rely on your resume, but I am telling you that you can apply to jobs that are, say, that the requirements are way higher than what your qualifications are, because usually they might hire you anyways. I don't know. The job market's not great though, so maybe also keep yeah, that's for sure. Don't take my advice.

I don't know. Should we get into the classics? Should we get into our regular sketch? Yeah, I guess so. So if we want to play Fuck, Marry, Kill, I think this is... Do you just want to do the whole movie? like, are we... should we Bilbo, Gandalf, and Torrin? Torrin, yeah. Sure. I have to fuck Gandalf. Look at that nose. I'm gonna marry Bilbo.

Look at that house. Hobbit hole. And then I'll kill Thorin. Does not interest me. I am not usually one to say this, but Bilbo is too nice. I'm not interested. I'm bored. Honestly.

I just like that hobbit lifestyle though, like homesteading and hobbit I can find a cooler bitch to give me a cooler house. That's for sure. That's true. Where does Gandalf live? Show me that. Exactly, which is why I'm going to marry him. And then I'll fuck. What's his name? Thorin? Thorin? Yeah, fuck Thorin Oakenshield. Yeah, he got a big nose too. Thorin Oakenshield, king under the mountain. The lonely mountain. Erebor? Bitch.

I can get down with He's dead anyways. Reclaim his throne. under the mountain. There we go. think. of queens, there is actually a new Lord of the Rings movies hitting theaters this month. believe December 12th. Yes, it's animated. It's a Japanese animated. So very akin to this movie having its roots in some Studio Ghibli production. It's yeah, I think it comes out December 12th. I think I might want to see it, but it's called The War of Rohirrim.

The SWAMP (58:27.502)
which is all about like, it's another prequel about the Rohan, which is a thing that comes up in Lord of the Rings that you'll eventually learn about. But it's like sort of this other group of people from a different part of Middle Earth. And it's like about a conflict that happened there a while ago, but it's like anime. It's like beautiful Japanese animation. And it's a story about a woman, wild. They don't usually do that. Get down with that. They don't usually do that with Lord of the Rings IP. So I'm kind of interested in seeing it. I'm sure.

been of the mindset that like, when I like something, I don't always need a more of that thing. That's I feel a lot with these reboots, these remakes, these TV spinoffs. like, if you like the Harry Potter movies, you probably just want to watch the Harry Potter movies. You don't want to watch some new fucking bullshit remake TV show, whatever. You're just clinging onto that original magic. Again, cash grab. We said it. We'll say it again. We'll say it before.

Yeah, well, it's just like, I don't know. It's like this whole thing of the reboots, there's a reason that fan fiction exists, right? Let it have its space because it feels like it's encroaching on that almost. We don't need this constant, what's the word? Like just hit of dopamine. Yeah, right. Or just like, can, like let something be.

And if people want to go and have their fun with it in another extended capacity, there are channels for that. It's okay. And their communities too. Like, girl, I was having a blast reading my One Direction fan fiction in 2012, okay? I was having a blast reading One Direction fan fiction yesterday.

No, and oftentimes it is those communities that the work is actually more interesting because these reboots and remakes are just trying to re emulate the success of the first one. And it's not done by people who give a shit. Exactly. But so in that same vein, sometimes when something is just like there's so much of it that I'm like, it's almost detracting. And that's kind of how I felt where there's a Amazon Prime original TV series. I was going to ask. Yeah. And a lot of people from the criticism I've read is that season one is not great and kind of slow.

The SWAMP (01:00:46.318)
and didn't make a great impact, but that season two really like picks up in as good and makes up for it. But I just had, just, didn't spark any interest in me even as a big Lord of the Rings fan. I just like wasn't into it. But this to me, cause this looks really different. It's like, it's an anime movie. is a separate, well, it's yeah, of course within the same IP, but it's like a creatively different take on it. Which is.

cool to me, but if any of have watched the show and want to like shout it out and tell me that I should watch it, maybe it is good. Cause a lot of those shows I write off because I think they're cash grabby, but like maybe they do actually have cool people who care about working on them. I just, I don't really know. Cause I'm really enjoying the Dune show actually right now, which typically is something that I shit on like being like, I don't fucking need this, I'm I'm kind of into the pussy magic than a Jezara Dune show. Like you got me, you got me.

more minutes. But yeah, there's a new Lord of the Rings animated. If you didn't know about it, I don't know if it'll be in all theaters. I think it like probably will be select. yeah, war of the Rohirrim coming to maybe a theater. That's what's up. But from the whole movie, do we want to we want to fuck humanoids? Because I mean, yeah, I'm fucking smog. Yeah, I want to marry smog because I might want to lay in that port of gold with them and just sort of

I'm gonna fuck him.

That's like a marriage to me, I scratch his head and he gives me a dollar.

The SWAMP (01:02:43.854)
Gosh. I'm sorry. But specifically, specifically the elf, not the elf, the dwarf that they made really hot in the live action ones was Feely, Feely and Keely. They had the two of them, but they had specifically, they were like, one of these needs to attract the young ladies. But I cannot really say that any of the dwarves were particularly doing it for me. But I will say Elrond, the...

the elf at Riverdale who shows them how to hold the map up to the moonlight. Yeah, I do like him. You can get it. He'd probably be my Mary. I'd marry him, fuck Smog, and kill... I'm gonna kill the elf that came last, like showed up with his army and he was like, fuck y'all. Right, but honestly though, when the five armies did show up and they were like, we want reparations...

for what Smog has done and Thorin was like, I'm the king under the mountain. I kind of was like, maybe you should give them reparations because there is way more gold than anyone needs. What if we just divi- is that the lesson? Probably. What if we just divvy up this gold and everyone is happy and no one dies? Yeah. There Seems correct. Yeah, that actually, that is, that is the lesson. I think we just figured it out. my friggin' six year old brain just cracked wide open. I understand.

War is bad. V like Bilbo, hide behind a rock. Get your bag and leave. dip. Dodge the draft, write a book, hide away. Go Go home. Speaking of, once you get home from your adventure, which is picking up your friends and bringing them to your house for a viewing of this, what are you feeding them? So this is really complicated actually because

I think I need to sort of treat this whole month like a feast because to me this can just be a precursor but like if you're doing the Lord of the Rings movie marathon you can plan an intricate and lengthy menu bitch throughout the entire thing so I'm like I we might as well just start here and to me this movie has to be breakfast because we're starting but then

The SWAMP (01:05:00.812)
at a very critical moment, there also will be second breakfast. So you have to have first breakfast in order for there to be second breakfast. So we're doing first breakfast with this movie. Because I'm like, it'll be cozy and we're like getting into things. I'm, because I'm planning for a big spread ahead, we can't keep it light. There's nothing light about Hobbit food. There's nothing light about Lord of the Rings fare, but we're going to pace ourselves. I think we start with like a beautiful pastry spread, some croissants and jam.

a nice butter, get the Kerrygold, know, scourge on the Kerrygold and like a good local bakery that you like and get just some like breakfasty pastry type good Danish goodness. And then that and just like some tea or coffee, like a hot bevy. want like a flaky croissant with some jam and butter and like a hot cup of something in my hand for this movie. That's how we're kicking off the marathon, bitch. What about, what do you think? I also agree. I want something hot.

in my hand. I am not as familiar with the hobbit food and day to day, you know, meals as them. So I agreed because I know this is the start of a long process. I want to start at the beginning. So I wanted to start at the beginning of a dinner. So your bread and soup courses, I'm going to say you do a French onion soup in a bread bowl.

Correct. that is correct as well. is that your drink and your food? The food is the soup bowl, the drink is the soup. No, the drink is going to be like a, I don't know. Cause do you start with, no, the drink is going to be like something a little champagne-y, think actually something nice and light and bubbly. Maybe like, I don't want to say a French 75 or something like that, but just like.

Honestly, just throw like a slice of orange in your champagne and like just sit down and eat it with your and have it with your, I don't know. Obsessed. Well, I was going to say a stout, I'm like, I don't want to like I'm already going to be farting the entire movie after having my my bread bowl. My French onion soup. My French onion soup bread bowl, which is going to have so much cheese on it. I want the cheese on the top to be like an inch. Exactly.

The SWAMP (01:07:22.752)
Exactly, you get it. I want there to be Swiss. I want there to be Gruyere. And I want there to be a secret third thing, at least. Exactly. A palm, maybe? That would be good. Yeah, something really sharp to cut through. little nutty. But yeah, just can't, I can't in good faith and good conscience tell you to have a stout with that because like, save it for the end. But I think you'd go like something nice and light, like a light sparkling wine.

Sure, I love that. And then, mean, of course, sort of what do you follow this up with is almost like moot for this month because it is a contained thing. let's just, I'm writing that off. Of course, what you should watch next is Lord of the Rings, whatever. But all of that aside, the things that I said, of course, come to mind as well are Labyrinth. I want to watch Labyrinth so bad after this. The Dark Crystal, the movie. I love the TV show.

my God, not to get into a crazy side tangent, but are you on a, are you on like Muppet? Muppet history? The Muppet history? Yes. I have no idea what drama is going on, but I've been seeing the posts. If you guys don't know Muppet history, like at Muppet history is like a pretty popular social media account across several platforms. believe like Twitter, Instagram, they have a few, I think it's mainly everything that I've seen has been on.

Twitter like blowing up for the most part. Really? I've seen it on Instagram. I've seen the posts that they've made on Instagram. The notes app apology. Yeah, what happened? I follow them, of course, because I'm a muppet ass bitch and I saw this notes app apology. I'm like, I need to get to the bottom of this. basically, so from from spark notes edition, go look into this yourself if you're interested in like social media drama. But the people who and again, this is like just from what I've read on Twitter, not official sources, but

But the official Muppets history account, which is not officially related to Disney in any way, think it's just this husband and a fan page, It's a husband and wife who run it together and the husband has been sending questionable DMs, sexually charged and flirtatious DMs to multiple people who have come forward and been like, not chill, no, no, do not like that.

The SWAMP (01:09:42.156)
And so basically then he's like roping his wife into this fuck ass, nope, apology. And it was so vague. was like, always learning and growing and you guys calling us out is always like a space for us to look inwards. And I was like, what the fuck could they possibly be talking about? Like the vaguest language of like, we're sorry to those we have hurt and grow and learn. I'm like, say a noun, like say a topic, say a thing.

One concrete thing, and yeah, it was that he was being creepy through DMs to girls, of course. You can't even trust the fucking Muppets guy. Everyone is like, my God, it is so dire out here for us that you can't even trust the guy who runs the Muppet account, Muppets, that is based off of the philosophy of kindness and generosity and truly, what the fuck? my God, but yeah, hashtag it canceled Muppets history. damn it. What the hell?

And the thing is, that I bet it really would not have been as big of a deal if they hadn't put out that fucking like a note app ass apology. Because it's just it's so it's so it's over for them, surely. mean, would have you'd have to go over in two days, if anything. Yeah. That's how many get away with everything. I've been cracking. I've been cracking up at all of the the Muppet history. That's actually so funny to hear now that you've like given the context.

but a shout out to Jim Henson, who as far as I know was pretty chill and shout out to his daughter who helped produce the Dark Crystal TV show that you can watch on Netflix that I think is really good. That's my suggestion. But now that you talk about all those like old Rankin and Bass movies, like I kind of want to watch a year without a Santa Claus, Miser, Snowmiser, old ass Frosty the Snowman, happy birthday, like icon. Yeah. So yeah, that as well. Yeah.

I am going to tell you though, if you do want to pivot and not do Hobbit, go watch old Scooby-Doo. Some red t-shirt shaggy Scooby-Doo. Yes, dog. Yes, exactly. I love that. And then out of 10, what do you think? Seven. I had a lot of fun. I really enjoyed this actually. And I did not expect to. And I'm glad that you're stepping in on a positive note, a good headspace, because it's going to get...

The SWAMP (01:12:06.976)
a lot. think the pacing though is nice in this series I find because each movie gets a bit more so it's you kind of are introduced to the setting with the characters so it's it's it eases you into it as much as it can. was yes this was a really good call this one looped me up as much as it simply could so I'm ready and now I'm going into this month with a good mindset so I'm excited.

and I'm excited to watch you watch them. know, fucking freak watching somebody else watch the movie. Yeah, we're gonna be sitting there having some big meals this month. We're not fucking around, Second breakfast, third breakfast, fourth breakfast. It's all breakfast, baby. I might have to make a pot roast, so we'll see. Nothing makes me wanna... my God, short ribs and potatoes. let's do some short ribs. Yeah, actually, I'll make this happen. Hell yeah.

parsley, rosemary, thyme, herbs, spices, getting it in there. So, shout out to all of you. Thank you so much for listening. Sorry the pod has been, you know, whatever lately, but whatever. We're chilling. the pod, what do you mean? The pod is the pod. Well, our audio last I'm having a good time. Our audio last week was so bad. was so bad, yeah. no. Sorry about our free birds episode. was like, it's free birds, who cares? I'm like, I fucked it up, but it was free birds. So hopefully this is a little bit improved.

But thank you all for listening. can find our socials and everything in the description below. Lord of the Rings month, you have any, like Lord of the Rings trivia, facts, questions, anything you want to contribute to our themed Lord of the Rings month, we would love to hear from you. If you love it, if you hate it, whatever. We're going to try to, you know, talk about all of it because there is some questionable and problematic shit to the Lord of the Rings series that definitely needs to be addressed as well. So don't think that this is all flowers and roses from us because I am...

critical of this series as well. As we should be. Throwing that out there. Yeah, hence me shouting out that this new movie has a female character in it at all. I'm like, my god, the protagonist is a girl? That's crazy. They've never even put a girl with speaking lines who wasn't Liv Tyler. Like, that's crazy. Kate Blanchett and Liv Tyler. They just there you go. And that's it. But anyways, thank you for listening. We love you all. May the hair on your toes never fall out. And goodbye and good night.