Anastasia

If you have 2 minutes and 26 seconds to spare, might I suggest listening to the BANGER In the Dark of the Night from this week's film, 1997's Anastasia. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocm8QdNR_d8

Sources:

I got most of my Don Bluth intel from this article 

And all historical Rasputin knowledge comes from the 4 part podcast series on him from Last Podcast on the Left, which I highly suggest if you're interested in learning more about Mr. Stinky Dick Magic

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00.254)
Anastasia's alive? Is that, no? Just wishin' I could do the job for you, sir. I'd give her a ha and a hi-ya. Okay, okay. And I'd kick her, sir. No, I think, You sound more...

better.

Speaker 2 (00:18.131)
Share from...

my god, it's cuz I've been thinking about Cher. Yeah, Dara,

We both saw the Cher Show in Worcester

of each other with two separate groups of people. And so we had different experiences because I saw like a Sunday matinee and you saw like

I saw the, like, don't know, evening or something.

Speaker 1 (00:46.552)
And like different casts though, I think. So I was like complaining too about share number two and you were like, share number two was the best. I was like, must have been entirely different.

No, that was my queen. But yeah, obviously she's still on your mind.

Wait, but if I could recast Rasputin as Cher and have Cher voice Rasputin? my. Cher singing in the dark of the night? We just broke through on something. fucking God. A live action Anastasia and we get Cher in today. We get Cher to play Rasputin in the dark lady of the night. It's right there.

Okay, I think we have to call someone about this actually.

Right now we have to call Don Bluth. We have to call Don Bluth right fucking now. my god. Hi Don, it's the Swamp. It's our podcast and it's an acronym.

Speaker 2 (01:40.696)
who

Speaker 2 (01:46.926)
Stands for some wack ass movie podcasting.

And this month we let my mother, Jen, pick all the movies. But instead of just picking something, she decided to pick two things, give it a category, and make us pick then from that. So this week was just animated movies, and it was between this and Nimona. And I've been wanting to cover this on the pod for a while now, so I seized the opportunity to do a 1997's Anastasia episode because you have never seen this movie. yeah, I know.

I hadn't at all. I...

knew nothing. is like so integral to who I am as a person. Yes, out of as an impression as that just was, like Bartok, he's everything to me.

It was, yeah, one of those things that I really felt like I picked up a lot considering how much you've talked about him on the podcast before. So I'm glad to know him now and I'm glad to know this movie. I have a new crush. Her name is Meg Ryan as an Anastasia.

Speaker 1 (02:47.628)
Holy shit.

I don't know if you can have a childhood sexual awakening at the ripe age of 25.

Speaker 2 (03:03.634)
Wait, I don't even care. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, no, I honestly, it probably was better that I hadn't seen this because I would have come out at nine years old if that was the case.

Beautiful

Speaker 1 (03:18.766)
my god. Yeah, 1997. feel like I watched this movie when I was really, really, really little. So like even before I think I could remember it and then it was like a comfort movie that I rewatched lot growing up as well. But like I used to, my grandma used to take care of me during the day while my parents worked and she had a screen house in her backyard, which I don't know if, you know, it's like a house, like it's like a, it's like for bugs to keep bugs out, but you can also like plant in like a screen house or something.

So it's just like a tent, but it's like built of screen. don't know, but I would sit in the screen house and she had a little TV in there and I would sit on like a pop-up chair and I would watch Disney movies on VHS all fucking day outside. It was awesome. Living the fucking life. Wish I could go back.

That's like the most situation I could fucking imagine.

Most ideal

Speaker 1 (04:10.126)
Yeah, I would go roll around in a mud puddle and then I'd come back inside and I'd watch a movie and then I'd go back outside and I'd run back around in the mud puddle.

Daisy chain while you're watching Leland's ditch

Oh my Anastasia on VHS was a heavy rotation. The screen house in my grandma's backyard. Love this movie and I'm really glad we're watching it. And I almost made us do this for when we did Gay Awakening Month. And I picked Atlantis instead. But it was also this, it's the same thing, right? Because it's like they're together and you're like, don't know who I want to

be or who I wish I was or who I, where I would maybe see myself. That's where it gets confusing.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:58.21)
I will say, think you did the right thing with Atlantis because do with that what you will, but he was giving non-binary tea. So I do think that was the gay-er movie.

And Dimitri in this is like more of a concept of an idea of a man that you have to grasp and run away on your own with. Yes. Because him in this movie actually is really not giving too much and a lot of the up close facial animation on him specifically is so weird, uncanny. it. he. Yes. And that's the thing that. Anastasia sometimes as well. And I'm like, why are they doing?

He has like this weird mouth line.

That took me out.

It bother me as much though because it wasn't as consistent. I look old and weird and it made me feel like I was looking John Cusack in the face.

Speaker 1 (05:39.598)
Right, with him it was.

Speaker 1 (05:47.202)
Well, yeah, and then it gets uncanny because I don't know if they used footage of Meg Ryan and John Cusack, they obviously did. They used, I mean, it's like, least rotoscoping. mean, well, yeah, for the character design, obviously. But rotoscoping is when you just like trace over footage, you just film something and then you trace over it and then that's animation, right?

considered to be kind of like cheap, know, like it's easy and it's cheap and it's like not as artistically, you know, impressive, I guess. And so that's clearly what they did on some of these up-face shots. And I'm like, they're, they're trying to make their mouths move the way people's mouths move. And I'm like, you just have to remember that it's a cartoon. They're cartoon characters. Just you can't animate that.

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (06:39.682)
just make their mouths open and close in a way that like, just like the weird jaw moving back and forth and their eyes were always sort of shifting, like moving in 3D space, even though we're working with a 2D medium. There's also a couple of instances where they go for the 3D camera movement within the space type CG mixed with the flat, which it does not always work.

Yeah, kind of, I feel like I got sort of that weirdness of it towards the end when they put Anastasia in like the all the royal garb and they like really went for the sort of the shiny designs on it. just felt like it felt like almost when you make a collage and you use like a really different textured piece of like paper or something like that as the background, just to like really make it stand out, which it certainly did, but it didn't.

blend in enough that it felt cohesive. I don't know.

Yeah, there are definitely some like animation things that have not aged well, but I do think on the whole, think this movie is beautiful and nice to look at. Easy to watch. Beautiful, nice. Yeah, like we're blocking our shots. We're seeing shit. The backgrounds are nice and detailed. I really appreciated that they didn't give a fuck that the characters looked entirely one way and the backgrounds

looked another. Yeah. Right? by me. Two different worlds were in the movie. But if you want to get a little history lesson upfront, please enlighten me. I want to tell you about this man named Don Bluth, who directed this movie. And it's sort of an interesting tale. I think I did one of these when I made you watch Treasure Planet, because I love a movie with a bit of economic, political Hollywood intrigue.

Speaker 2 (08:11.16)
I don't care.

Speaker 2 (08:35.66)
Yeah, well, Treasure Planet had a great one and Treasure Planet is the thing that I, I'm gonna spoil it now. I'm gonna tell you to follow it up with. Because that's all I could possibly wanna watch and they took all of the things that this movie didn't quite nail and fucking nailed it.

Right.

Speaker 1 (08:52.094)
They're like, well, it's also sci-fi and we're adding robots. were like, also that too. Then we're gonna add robots.

Okay, let me strap in for my history lesson.

So, Don Bluth was a young animator and he got a job at Disney and he worked on Sleeping Beauty.

That is Sleeping Beauty. That is Sleeping Beauty.

No, Sleeping Beauty Snow White. No, Snow White is Snow White. No, it's not! It's Sleeping-

Speaker 2 (09:20.29)
Beauty is Aurora! name's Aurora and she pricks her finger on the spindle.

They're always falling asleep. These bitches are always falling asleep. So Sleeping Beauty. Anyways, he works on Sleeping Beauty. And then he was an animator at Disney until 1978. So he works on a lot of those like Fox and the Hound. Think that era of Disney. Like it's the flat 2D animation, the drawings.

Yeah, this, she has Maleficent.

Speaker 2 (09:43.425)
Sexy one.

Speaker 2 (09:51.054)
I'm sorry, I was thinking of Robin Hood.

Well, I think he did work on that as well. But no, you're correct.

is the farthest thing from a sexy movie?

It's very sad. I knew what you were getting at though. And like, know, the jungle book, sort of that era of, I don't think that was Don Bluth. Yeah, prancing around. But so then he's like Disney's way too corporate and doesn't care about telling stories and the art of the animation. They're treating this like a corporation and I don't want to work somewhere like that. So he

balls.

Speaker 2 (10:11.502)
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 (10:28.302)
took another key animator named Gary Goldman. This movie directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman. Don Bluth and Gary Goldman together. he takes Gary Goldman and 14 other animators, which is not a lot, but it's not a lot of people to poach from the animation department of Disney in 1978. So they all leave and they start their own animation company because they're like, actually care about art. But obviously it takes them a minute to get under their feet.

But then, then they proceed to make some of your favorites. Well, maybe not you, but anyone who was a child in the eighties, The Secret of Nim, An American Tale, The Land Before Time. Does that ring a bell? All Dogs Go to Heaven. Yeah, All Dogs Go to Heaven.

I'm hit her!

But then a stretch, then we get into the nineties and it's not as good. Rock-a-doodle, Thumbelina, a troll in Central Park, the Pebble and the Penguin. We're taking it a little bit of a dip, but then we get Anastasia. Then we get Anastasia and Titan AE, which was the final nail in the coffin. Then they declared bankruptcy, but that was, it was a Matt Damon and they voiced it. It was like a space movie. I know. I've never, I've never seen it, but I probably should.

I guess so.

Speaker 1 (11:43.362)
But specifically, all of the really depressing kids movies from the 80s, specifically Five-O in American Tale, Land Before Time, All Dogs Go to Heaven, like the classic, like, how fucking sad can we make this kid's movie and still pull it off? That's Don Bluth. That's his whole deal. He's

Give us that with this one, which I don't know if that was because it was the 90s and things were starting to fail, but I feel like.

So basically, it had taken a turn is well, so basically, so he starts to get sort of successful with Land Before Time, right? Like that sort of starts to take off in 1988 or so. And Disney starts doing their fucking military counter strikes where they release Oliver and company on the same fucking day where Anastasia, they release, they re-release.

The Little Mermaid in theaters the same day as Anastasia for what reason? To pull box office numbers away from their competitors. It's a Taylor Swift move. Yeah. Taylor Swift is the Disney of, you know, That entirely checks out. So basically Don Gluth was the victim of several targeted Disney strikes and he persevered through

Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 (12:50.007)
Which is very comparable,

Speaker 1 (13:00.032)
Most of it, as well as a small animation company could, still making $140 million on Anastasia, making back its budget, doing very well. But basically, Anastasia was kind of of note because Fox buys Don Bluth's animation company. ooh, what is it called? The animation, it's like 20th Century Fox. 20th Century Fox wants an animation.

division, they want to start competing with Disney. They take Don Bluth in, they say, we'll buy you. He does that. He makes Anastasia for them because they say, you have to work with existing IPs that we as 20th Century Fox already own. So in our film canon, you can just take one of those and do an animated version for kids. And so they were going to do like some, some old Audrey Hepburn movie, but then they're like, we can't.

animate Audrey Hepburn, that's like weird. And so then they came around to this, which is based off of a 1950s movie, which is based off of a play, because the whole thing is obviously based off of history, it fragmented history. But so basically they made this because they owned the rights to that original movie. 20th Century Fox had originally made that movie in the 50s. So they were like, yeah, we'll make this Anastasia kids movie.

And it was really successful and it was basically 20th century's Fox's first foire into like competing with Disney basically. then it completely failed and Disney bought them out. And now in the end, Disney owns all of Don Bluth's work.

Like right like oh it's just like oh kind of a bummer. don't know let's see. He's made some not great ones too like we don't he's no notable legend.

Speaker 2 (14:43.79)
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (14:51.052)
gonna fucking suck if you like live to see your art bought by like the people that you think are so less court like yeah

no, he's 87. Still kicking.

All right, Don, well, I hope he's having a fine time. But at the same point, look, it's all the, mean, and we're in like the really like end stage mega.

It's nothing new.

Speaker 1 (15:15.234)
and stage capitalism.

I don't even know, I don't even have the words for it, but yeah. This has been going on for decades. is...

But I kind of like having that context watching this movie because it kind of gets you a sense of like why it feels the way it does because they were like, we have to work with this story about the Romanov family. And Don Bluth is like, I love this dark shit. But then they're like, we can't make a movie about Russian politics for children. This movie has a loose G rating.

You're putting a G rating on Rasputin's stanky ass? Are you kidding me?

That is, my God, if anyone, if anyone has an R rating, it's, it's Respute

Speaker 1 (16:04.238)
Gee, they blew up a bridge in this movie. They used bombs in this movie and it's rated G. That's kind of wild.

Also think about it, we were watching SpongeBob at that time. think nowadays we've gotten so, I will say the sensitivity scale is crazy. Because I don't think that this was too much. I would have showed this to a child. I would be, see here's the thing, I would be a mad as the bitch at daycare whose mom said, no, that's too much for that.

And so it would be mad.

shit

Speaker 1 (16:38.19)
Very interesting.

That's too violent for them to watch. They can't watch it. And we have to watch some dumb shit.

Or the bitch who cried the bitch who cries and says turn it off and you're like I am watching this I always hated that shit Yeah, that's why I feel like I really like Don Bluth and Don Bluth's movies because the land before time is so fucking sad But do you also know it's important to teach children about grieving and how if the mom dies at the beginning of the movie It's pretty normal for the rest of the movie for that character to be sad about it. You know, like

the whole thing of like you you should talk to your kids not in a baby voice and use your real voice and talk to them like a person and like maybe not like an adult but like not like they're fucking stupid because if you talk to them like they're stupid they're gonna be fucking stupid

In their media, believe kids deserve to have movies that present interesting complex themes that will teach them things. I think kids can deal with a lot heavier of subjects than adults want to them credit for. I think presenting it in a medium like a movie about talking dinosaurs is way fucking better than something else. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, I...

Speaker 1 (17:56.418)
we should bring back more like heavy and a little bit scary kids movies. Cause it's important to be a little scared and to learn how to, ooh, Rasputin, it's dark, it's scary. Like again, the bitch who cries and runs out of the room in daycare. But like, I think it's important for kids to be presented with stuff like that and learn how to process it.

Absolutely. Yeah, and I don't think that's a crazy concept.

And this movie is rated G and I think I watched it as young as age, know, whatever, like fucking three four. I think. And this movie, again, has has an assassination of an entire family and it's rated.

Those bitches are dead. We know they're dead within the first five minutes. man. I don't know.

So can I also take a temperature check on you? Like where are you at? Where are you at with the Russian Revolution? Where are you at with the historical legitimacy of this film and the events of this film as they occurred in real life? What's your vibe with that?

Speaker 2 (18:49.794)
Like in terms of my historical knowledge?

Speaker 2 (19:00.75)
I know little, sorry, little to nothing. I know again, Rasputin's stanky ass was meddling in just about 900 different ways and that's about it. So please tell me in the class because I'm ignorant.

you're familiar with the 1979 song by Bony Ross Butin. Of course. Butin. Russia's greatest love machine. We all know it. We all danced to it at weddings.

Of course.

Speaker 2 (19:35.982)
I mean, yes, of course. I identify to it when I have one too many drinks.

I have to. So do you know about like his penis is pickled in a jar? know about that?

heard yes. I know the vague nastiness of it. People tried to poison him like 500 different times and he just wanted to fucking die.

Delore

Speaker 1 (20:01.442)
Hmm. And in real life, though, he basically he was not an official religious, like appointed person. He just like showed up places and started being like, I'm a holy man. I'm a healer. they just like that worked for him until he was the right hand man of the fucking czar crazy. my God. He's Elon He's in his way.

he would have a lot of social media.

I feel like Elon Musk is the modern day Rasputin, but it's inverted. Whereas Rasputin's dick was so big, it scared everyone into submission. Elon Musk's dick is so small that it makes everyone confused by his cars. I don't know, man.

I'm

Speaker 2 (20:45.696)
If anyone was gonna, if anyone was gonna, what is it? Something, the storm? Weather the storm, it would be Grimes.

Weather, the storm.

Speaker 1 (20:56.001)
my God, did you see she's like performing out of Pride Festival and everyone was like,

She needs to be like, no, like I-

Yeah, put away.

there's a handful of celebrities like you can get your your pass on at this point she's non-redeemable to me for all this.

Right, like I don't care what sort of sassy shit you're saying on Twitter, Grime. Sure. Yeah, the accountability level is very clear.

Speaker 2 (21:26.496)
on Azalea Banks' side.

Well, do not say that.

Sorry, someone's gonna clip that. Someone's gonna clip that, but nevermind.

And we are not saying that. But Azalea Banks does sort of have the wild charisma and the weird sex magic that I imagine that Rasputin possessed. The ability to enchant the public. But what had happened was Rasputin basically was like a healer because the czar's son had hemophilia, so he would bleed a lot and his blood wouldn't clot.

absolutely

Speaker 1 (22:05.726)
And when Rasputin was around, he would send all the nurses away so they weren't giving him aspirin and aspirin's a blood thinner. So obviously when he was taking that, it was much worse. So basically because Rasputin was like, don't take any medicine, just hang out with me. He's like, I feel so much better now. And that was basically why Rasputin like got to be. And he was, you know, pulling strings and using his big dick and swinging around and whatever.

How big was it?

but he was dead before the family got assassinated. he being the villain of this movie doesn't really make sense, but they do try to make him like a corpse. he is dead. So they do respect that he is dead, it's it's completely unrelated. And it's actually sort of like, it's like one thing if you want your kids movie to be apolitical and like it's another, I think, to make it look like the Russian revolution was caused.

is dead.

Speaker 2 (22:48.462)
It's really fast and loose.

Speaker 1 (23:01.858)
by Rasputin's green ooze dick magic rather than the dissatisfaction of the working class and a corrupt aristocracy. They made the fucking Romanov family look so fucking nice. I'm like, absolutely the fuck not.

No, that's the thing. That's the thing. they went by the books, that's the thing that would have gotten this like a rating bump. They're like, okay, okay, Rasputin's nasty cock, fine, all for it. Explosions, fine, all for it. Union strikes, uh-uh.

They barely scratched the surface. believe in one of the opening musical numbers. Also, this is a movie, the fucking musical. I often forget that because so many of the songs are so unnoteworthy that I forget that they are there entirely other than Rasputin's song in the Dark of the Night, which is one of the better villain songs of the animated canon. The bugs harmonizing with Corpse Rasputin. Do you know what that did to me?

Go bangers.

Speaker 2 (24:00.492)
the bo-

Speaker 1 (24:06.412)
As a child, this was really important.

And just for a second there, was considering to do a Marilyn Monroe happy birthday number and it just wouldn't come out of me. I'm sorry. Was going to sing happy birthday to my mother Jen. your mother. That's why it wouldn't come out. That's why.

You

Speaker 1 (24:32.322)
And with that uncomfortable segue, it's my mom's birthday. Jen is here. As we're recording this, this will come out tomorrow. So it'll be a day late. So everyone send your belated birthday vibes through the wavelengths to Jen. And because this whole month is dedicated to her, you picked all the movies. You picked Anastasia for us this week, which, what was the theme that this was against? And it was this or what?

Maybe, Nimona probably.

What? Not pneumonia. Remember, pneumonia that was nominated last year? have not a fucking clue.

It's a non-Disney animated movie that Jen loves and I'm here to hype up a non-Disney movie this week.

Hell yeah, hell yeah. You guys should do it at some point or watch it. It was really good. It's Chloe, Ferret. Is Nimona. Riz Ahmed.

Speaker 1 (25:30.676)
for a...

Speaker 1 (25:37.304)
We love Okay, I'm sold. I'm sold. But is there a theme for this week's Chocolate or Vanilla, which is your interim podcast segment where you say two things and we all just say which one we like better.

There is a theme. was, I am going to tell everyone, I was telling Emily, everybody was so nice to me today. Yeah. Like I think because they, you do this thing at work where they make you a cake. So everyone knows that your birthday, but everyone was really nice to me. It was a good day to be Jen. But, the theme is, animated, just, just animated stuff. Yeah. Nice.

Aww.

Speaker 2 (26:19.534)
chocolate or vanilla

Chocolate.

chocolate this week yeah I'll go chocolate also I'm on the Girl Scout cookies that's why which ones? Samoas of course yeah

Which one? Yeah, okay. We're good. Represent.

chocolate vanilla or strawberry

Speaker 1 (26:38.072)
Chocolate.

Okay, will say strawberry. There's no such thing as a strawberry Girl Scout cookie though, I think. I will go chocolate. And then first one is Jimmy Neutron or Timmy Turner.

You mean Fairly Oddparents. I, ooh, both shows were really good. I definitely think I watched Fairly Oddparents more, but I loved when they always would do Jimmy Timmy power hour, so you kind of were always watching them back to back, and you know, love those crossover episodes with the chunky animation. But I think I'll say Fairly Oddparents.

Yeah, I was definitely more Fairly Oddparents. I found that a lot more power-able. Jimmy Neutron kind of... It just freaked me out a little bit. Not like in like... his Not like in a hair way. Just like it was like an Uncanny Valley kind of thing almost. That's fair. That just wasn't my favorite. I didn't like the animation style. That's for sure.

I don't know what that- You didn't like it.

Speaker 1 (27:43.412)
One time, when I was baby, I was not a good babysitter. A few times I was asked to do it in my life. It's not good. These kids were like, tell us a story, tell us a story. And I was like, I can read you a book. And they were like, no, you have to make it up. You have to make it up. And so I just told them the Jimmy Neutron movie, but I put them as like the characters and they were, they thought I was so, they were like, my God, can she be our babysitter again? I was like, that was the end of the movie. Sorry.

That's who you are to them.

You just combined two different people together. Wait no. No! You know, George RR told me.

Same. Martin. I am going to go with Jimmy Neutron because I was a big Jimmy Neutron fan. Next one is Scooby Doo or Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Aw, hands down, Scooby-Doo, no contest, Scooby-Doo.

Speaker 2 (28:43.158)
Yeah, easily Scooby-Doo. I am a big Scooby-Doo fan. Still to this day, I would say. Yeah, Scooby-Doo holds up.

I think they recently made like a quote-unquote live-action Clifford the Big Red Dog movie. That just like negates the point of the whole fucking thing. You idiots.

earlier.

Speaker 2 (29:05.422)
You don't think that about the live action Scooby-Doo though? No, that's cinema. That's entirely different. Cinema. Next one is Link or Princess Peach?

Bye.

Speaker 1 (29:20.972)
Hmm link there's more going on there. Unfortunately peach Peach could have her own stuff going on. She's pretty good at golf these days They're promo-ing her tennis and whatnot But you know, I'm not as interested in what peaches got going on whereas

Sorry, you to tell me more about the promo

just,

Well, maybe I'm just not caught up on Nintendo. I don't know. But I want less going on. I want, I'm going for peach on this one. I also wasn't like a Zelda kid ever, so.

I'm going to go with Link and shout out to Neil. My nephew Neil loved Link growing up.

Speaker 1 (30:12.558)
I like I don't play any Legend of Zelda, but most of the men in my life, like almost every man I know is like variant to it. And so I feel like that's reputable.

Ryan did a link cosplay. was great. Nice. Next one is Taryn Egerton as Johnny the Gorilla in Saint or Justin Timberlake as Branch in Trolls.

Justin Timberlake can suck my fucking ass, okay? Justin Timberlake is nothing to me. And trolls? Fuck those fucking troll movies, okay? Do you know what the IP of trolls, think of those little troll dolls with the hair, do you understand what they did to that IP? They decimated it. Look at what those things are now. What's his name, Baby Disco? Tiny Disco?

Bye!

Speaker 1 (31:05.422)
I'm going to commit a crime. hate the trolls. But Taryn Egerton notably ate so hard as this gorilla that they said, you want to be Elton John for real? we have to stay shouting him out for that.

You

Speaker 2 (31:18.688)
Yeah, there's nothing more iconic than that. I'll go Taryn on this one. I fucking hate Justin Timberlake. Yeah, I would pick Taryn over pretty much everybody. Next one is Stitch or Toothless.

to go with Stitch. It's been a minute since I've seen How to Train Your Dragon and all of the convo about the live action, How to Train Your Dragon, which they've basically openly admitted that it will be a shot for shot, no changes to the script made remake, just with CG animation. Everyone's like, again, what that negates the whole, like it's already a movie. Why? There's a weird thing going, I think, where, like,

Monopolies need to retain IPs, so they have to make new work of the same stuff in order to keep it for longer. Renewal of distribution, know, something like that. But don't say, oh, we're going to make, we're going to re-release the same movie. Like, oh my God, have one brain cell. Jesus Christ. So I'll say Stitch.

I'm gonna say Stitch because I really loved the parallels between Nosferatu and Lilo and Stitch that I've seen on my timeline. It's just the, you bring me an angel? The most perfect angel ever. Like, you know what I mean? Or that whole she does, you know?

I haven't seen that!

Speaker 1 (32:45.326)
She calls out into the night and she gets a little freak in her window.

tearing his skin like, yeah, dog. Absolutely. Yeah. Stitch. Absolutely. Yeah, Stitch all day. I love Stitch. I will be watching that live action. Not going to lie. Next one is Piglet from Winnie the Pooh or Jigglypuff from Pokemon.

Jigglypuff would kick Piglet's fucking ass, bro. I don't know why they have to fight. Jigglypuff's gonna downbeat and put Piglet to sleep and then curb stomp him.

He looks flattened head. my God. Yeah, I'll go Jigglypuff on this one. I'll go Jigglypuff also. Although I, Winnie the Pooh was a pretty big deal when I was a little kid. Let's see. Next one is Tiana from Princess and the Frog or Rapunzel from Tangled.

think I've maybe only seen both of these movies once. Like I really don't, they're not ones I revisit often. But I was just looking at the voice acting cast of Princess and the Frog and it did make me want to rewatch it. So I'll say Tiana, because again, another movie with an annoying live action cast discourse, who's going to be fucking Flynn Rider? I don't care. It doesn't need to be made. Anyways, I'm beating this dead horse.

Speaker 2 (34:17.485)
I haven't seen either of these movies. I'll go Tiana because I'm more inclined to say I want to hang out in New Orleans in the swamps.

Good choice. I just watched this one recently and I'm going to pick Tiana. Next one is Remy or Po. So Remy from Ratatouille, Po from Kung Fu Panda.

Remi from Ranatui is, yeah, as far as sentient animals go, he's definitely outdoing. Jack Black as Kung Fu Panda has overstayed its welcome.

Jack Black, I think, is starting to overstay his welcome in general. Remy, easily. Hands down. Not a thought. Yeah, I'm in a Patton Oswald phase because I'm watching AP Bio on Netflix. He's so good. Next one, Boo or Olaf? So Boo from Monsters Inc, Olaf from Frozen.

Funny.

Speaker 1 (35:20.366)
I fucking hate Frozen. Frozen rubs me the wrong way. I do not enjoy that shit and I do not find it delightful, okay? But I love Monsters Inc. Again, nostalgia, know, that was made for me at that time. Like I was boo's age when that shit came out, you know, so gotta go with boo.

Yeah, well, I see I'm in a tough spot because for the longest time and probably mostly because of Frozen, I hated Josh Gad so deeply and thought he was so unfunny. And then there's that one TikTok sound that's popped off right now that says, you put the weed in the coconut and light that shit up. And I've been singing it in my head like for days.

And it's

So Josh Gad? It's Josh Gad! I don't know what movie it's from. what? I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea.

But so we've turned a new leaf on Josh

Speaker 2 (36:25.454)
He's been haunting me. So no, I'm going to go. What was my other option? Still besides Olaf? Boo, thank you. I'm going to go with that. I just had to get that out and sing that to an audience of 400. I'm going to go with boo also. Next one is Shakira as the gazelle in Zootopia or Pink as Gloria and Happy Feet 2.

Happy Feet 2, Happy Feet 2, where I think they revert back and now it's bad to sing. Like, they've done a 180 on dancing. No, I don't recall. But Shakira as that gazelle, eight. That was really the only redeemable part of Zootopia, perhaps. Like, all of it was like, what for? The sexy But then it's like, well, at least, but I'm like, at least she's owning it, you know? She's like, I'm a gazelle.

gonna get up here and

Shake my ass because that's what I do when I'm a human as well. I don't know what you expected.

That was also so right for her. I don't know who put who visioned that, but someone had a great, great idea. I'll go Shakira as well. I'll go Shakira for the sweep. Next one, Lightning McQueen or Speed Racer.

Speaker 1 (37:26.862)
Mmm.

Speaker 1 (37:41.838)
Ha-chow. Speed Racer though is, if I had to watch one of those two movies right now, Speed Racer, actually if I had to watch almost any movie right now, I think I'd pick Speed Racer. The Speed Racer movie by the Wachowskis fucking slaps and we're gonna have to do it on this show at some point because I'm obsessed. So actually yeah, I'll pick Speed Racer. Fuck, fuck, what?

And disclaimer, Speed Racer that I'm talking about is the animated show from the 70s. yeah. In the look up, I'm like, and that movie's not animated, but Speed Racer at one point was.

I know, but I'm still-

Speaker 1 (38:17.966)
Oh, that's a live action. Actually, that's a live action adaptation of an animated IP that I think is brilliant. That I think that should be the blueprint when they look towards because it's not getting rid of any of the whimsy of animation. Reserve my discussion of the speed racer for another time.

I'll go cars on this one just strictly out of my ignorance of speed racer Yeah, I'll go with cars to lightning McQueen cuz like what Monsters Inc was to you cars was probably to Ryan I think my ride

And most like young boys who you kind of pick, you kind of pick like animals or machines as a young boy, I feel. And so you're either like really into like trucks or like lizards. And, you know, race cars or turtles. Yeah.

Next one is Stuart Little or more.

Morph! my god, I want Morph to eat Stuart little and spit his bones out like an owl pellet for real.

Speaker 2 (39:32.684)
Morph wouldn't do that. He would, absolutely would. Yeah, Morph is my guy. He's probably my favorite sidekick that I've seen in the last, I don't know, I guess out of like any sort of like old school Disney Pixar, like animated shortsies. I love that man. I used to chew on that McDonald's toy that I got of him.

In the bath, I it the bath with me a lot because it was waterproof, yeah.

Yes, exactly. Yeah, I'm going to go with Morph too, but I do think you guys will be talking about Stuart Little when you do Michael May Fox.

you're pitching Michael May Fox.

Honestly, that's actually not that I want to May and February, but just throwing out the Michael May Fox idea. That's better than a real strip.

Speaker 1 (40:27.758)
But I don't

feel like the planet has to get worse every year. feel like at some point we have to be like, Philip C. Mayer Hoffman. Wait, that's actually kind of good. Octavia Spence Mayer. Like, I don't know.

Last one ready? Hello, Wallace and grommet Moana to inside out to or wild robots

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (40:52.142)
These are the Oscar nominations. Best animated feature this year. will say proudly that I am rocking hard with Wallace and Gromit this award season. They won the BAFTA, but that's obvious because that's British and what is more British than Wallace and Gromit?

I

Speaker 2 (41:08.11)
I don't have a printer.

Speaker 1 (41:16.142)
But I thought it was a good movie. I've actually seen a fair number. I saw Flow, I saw the Wild Robot, and then I haven't seen Moana 2, and what was the other one? Inside 2? Inside Out 2, no.

out to. Yeah. I'll go Wallace and Gromit. Okay, I'm gonna go Wild Robot because I think it's gonna win. that is it for animated chocolate or vanilla on my birthday.

Woo! Hell yeah. Happy birthday, Jen. Thank you. We love you and we'll see you next week.

Okay, I love you guys. an awesome Bye, I love you Jen. Can I tell you? Okay. I'm sure, okay. The thing that did it for me, not to spoil it, obviously the bad guy dies. This is a child's story.

Bye!

Speaker 1 (42:11.794)
Rasputin's already dead when the story begins, so he just gets dead again. They break his lightsaber. re-dies. They break his relic, his reliquary.

The way that Rasputin's skeleton wiggled and disintegrated made my toes curl. I just about let out an audible moan when I watched that, because my eyes rolled back.

Hey, he died how he lived. Busted nuts. Because that was actually, that was another thing about Rasputin was that he was, he was like the priest of the church of Guning basically, is he thought that the part of like Orthodox Christianity that he was into, like the specific sect, he was like, you're closest to God when you're like about to bust. He's like, that's as close as you can feel to holiness. And like, that was sort of the proposition that he brought.

course he was!

Speaker 1 (43:07.81)
to like to church and everyone was sort of like, okay. Orgies, it's like second year on Dick and orgies. Cause you're like, we gotta talk to God. Like it's right before you come. We gotta talk to God. So that's what like Rasputin's whole deal was religiously. And he also, there's like a whole thing. He like did a bunch of pilgrimages and he walked like from Russia to fucking Greece, like on foot. He just went there.

That's so real.

Speaker 2 (43:32.046)
This is the kind of guy too that I'm sure was doing like psychedelics before people knew what psychedelics were as well

He wore the same shirt the whole time. Like, disgusting. Disgusting shit Rasputin was on. Rasputin is sort of this, like, guy we can laugh at in retrospect, but, like, at the time in Russian history, he is, like, ominous and very scary, and to place him as the bad guy in a kids' movie, he's like a dark scary... And then they also made him a zombie, and then he's also, with the green ooze. so that's where you get Bartok.

You get Hank Azaria doing a silly voice telling you, it's okay to laugh at Rasputin. It's pretty silly actually. And it's brilliant.

Yeah, honestly, cause you don't get that. He was very much his own sidekick, I suppose. not his own sidekick, but like, out of all of the kids' movies that I watched, I think he is very unique in that way, I suppose. I don't know. Like, obsessed with the fact that he can't condone any of his actions in the end. He's like, yeah, this guy's nuts. I'm over it.

he keeps being like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (44:45.71)
about that, sir. Like. Exactly, yeah. Cause like 90 % of the time the sidekicks are like, yeah man, might as well do it.

Are they like a goon? Yeah, like a compliant goon. Yeah, real. And I love that this movie ends. This movie ends with telling us what the question we've been asking ourselves this whole time, which is will Bartok get laid? And the answer is yes. They get a girl bat to come down. They smooch. It's so good.

It was so unnecessary. I had to it up in a little bow.

And she was so stylized too. They're like, no, she's a hot girl bat too. We're going to make sure you know that. We want to make sure that you know that Bartok gets ass, okay?

In case you had any doubts. Also, watching the fucking credits roll for this was crazy because I didn't clock half of these people. I knew Meg Ryan, I knew John Cusack. That was about it. I should have known Kirsten Dunst would have her grubby little 90s fingers in this.

Speaker 1 (45:51.342)
So they got famous people to do the voices, then they had different people saying so Meg Ryan didn't sing John Cusack didn't sing. Those are other fingers. They have baby Kirsten Dunst as the voice, but do you know who did baby Kirsten Dunst singing? Who fucking Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls?

Try up! that's good.

What's name? I couldn't tell you. Lacey Shabair, Shabray? don't know. Sure. But Christopher Lloyd is Rasputin, as you may know. Uncle Fester. Yes, yes. But the guy who did his singing is a voice actor, and he was like Winnie the Pooh and the Tasmanian devil. like Dr. Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog. And he was Smokey the Bear in those fucking.

chronic.

Don't do wildfire ads and stuff. But so he did recipe and singing. I'm like, that's crazy. Why wouldn't he just do, also do the voice as well. But they're like, we need uncle Fester to do the talking voice, which sure.

Speaker 1 (46:57.358)
Cracking into these credits. Yeah, Bernadette Peters is the like annoying cousin who guards Angela Lansbury.

God. Yeah, no, I didn't realize we have a full Broadway cast on our hands.

Yeah, and lest we be forgetting about Dr. Fraser Crane, who's also just here. Also, the varying levels of Russian accent commitment are little to none for most everyone.

don't even know what you're talking about because I think it was all just straight up American.

Like even the Rasputin character was giving something but at times it was questionable. And I was like, is Bartok supposed to be like Transylvanian or?

Speaker 2 (47:48.396)
Do they have bats in Russia? I don't know.

But like from Pennsylvania maybe also? Like I don't know. I don't

don't know. Yeah, definitely a couple of misses.

But she's like, I'm so excited to go home to St. Petersburg. Literally. my god.

It's aggressive. I'm like Meg, you couldn't have given us anything. Anything.

Speaker 1 (48:10.81)
No, performance was... No, no, it's so good. I've never seen any movie she's in, really. What's her big rom-com?

I'm in love with her, so...

Speaker 2 (48:22.382)
When Harry met Sally. Harry met Sally. I in Seattle. About 900 other ones.

I've never seen that one. Oh, right. way they got her to be in this movie was they took a scene of her from Sleepless in Seattle and they animated Anastasia over it saying Meg Ryan's lines. This is a very IMDb fact. And they sent it to her and they were like, look, we made this character after you. Like, there's no one else and we need it to be you. Look, we did. And she was like, OK. She's like, yeah. She's like,

That would work on me. That worked, yeah. No, but that's gonna be fun too, especially like, I know we're very much like here for the voice actors that do voice acting, but like I want Meg Ryan to read me a lullaby or sing me a lullaby, read me a bedtime story now. I found her soothing.

But I'm also like, can she not sing? I believe that she could probably have pulled that off. But those songs hard, I don't really, I guess I couldn't have sung.

But I'm

Speaker 2 (49:17.942)
I feel like back in the day, like they were like, they probably had more money to throw around, honestly, for casting. they're like, well, if we can get someone better, might as well. Now they're like scraping by, trying to like, I don't know, beg for their buck. Have you seen that? Speaking of, have you seen that interview that Maya Hawke gave recently?

about the numbers, the following numbers.

Yeah, same absolutely fucking insane

Like when you're fucking parents are who they are and they're still asking you how many Instagram followers you have at auditions, that's fucking crazy. Dude, your mom's Uma Thurman. Like shut the fuck up. Not that I'm prone to epitism in that way, just yeah, Thurman. Maya Hawk recently did an interview that we're talking about where she basically revealed that at every level of Hollywood, they're assessing.

like and that they're also doing like number counting. So in your cast, when you're casting something like we have to have a cumulative Instagram following of six billion. So like you better cast people like that shit is fucking crazy. But animated movies do feel like that. They're like, the Super Mario movie has to have absolutely the top most Google people on earth. Like it's like wild. For what reason?

Speaker 2 (50:33.196)
And now it just makes me think, and I'm thinking now of like Chris Nolan's The Odyssey that's getting shot right now. I'm like, could you imagine? Like, and I I bet it happened on that. Yeah, for on every fucking movie.

Good.

Speaker 1 (50:44.654)
Well, they got Zendaya and they're like done. They're like the pool's We just passed a bunch of unknowns now.

Exactly, of course. told the c-c-c-c-

Yeah, regularly scheduled programming. Sorry, I yopped so much.

no, what are you... This is your movie. This means something to you.

That's a party.

Speaker 1 (51:08.718)
In the dark of the night, people will find her. So, Fuck Mary Kills is really interesting.

I'm gonna say, rescue in Anastasia. And I'm gonna kill Demetri, obviously.

And to me

Speaker 1 (51:23.778)
Yeah.

It's honestly a tough choice of if I want to marry Rasputin or not. I kinda like his vibe.

In this- In the state of this movie, it's pretty dire. He's- He is a corpse. he has- He's dead in his- He's made a pact with the dark forces only to curse the Romanov family. I don't want to get tangled up in all that. His only purpose in life is to haunt these bitches? No, I'm trying to do other shit. I'm like Bartok. I'm like, I gotta get out of here.

Okay, fair enough, because now I'm thinking of the fact that he can detach limbs as a corpse and that could get real fun. So I'll fuck it.

As a certified freak, seven days a week, Ralph's pewing in that detached arm.

Speaker 2 (52:12.366)
If I'm gonna get freaky with anyone, it might as well be topped here.

It might as well be Russia's greatest love machine.

Yeah, and then you marry Anastasia, right?

Yeah, I have to agree with you 100%.

I would actually marry her grandmother if we're opening up this. she's fired. I'm gonna fuck her granddaughter, it's still low. And then I'm gonna kill... I'm gonna kill the annoying cousin. I'm gonna kill...

Speaker 1 (52:33.745)
yeah, Angel's-

Speaker 1 (52:47.342)
We're gonna eat our Oh my god rest in peace rest in peace to our big titty bestie. I'm out of this whole movie so

My wife doesn't need her bestie anymore. That's my she's I'm her bestie

I'm still gonna folkgrass be in. I'm gonna be the girl bat who marries Bartok.

Is that, that's your way?

Yeah, I want to be the other fruit bat who gets to be in the spin-off film.

Speaker 2 (53:20.942)
Of course, of course. Yeah, I like your work around here.

Then who do I get and then I can kill anyone? I'll kill the Tsar at the beginning of the film.

Fair enough, fair enough. He's gotta go anyways.

And then what are you gonna eat and drink while you host your little Anastasia Gala?

I'm getting real comfy, real cozy with this because this felt like a comfy cozy movie, even though I had never seen it before. I want a garlic soup. want a nice garlic soup with a lot of potatoes and a lot of garlic. It's gonna be great. nice. Yeah. And I'm going to have a little bit of red wine with it. Lovely. I'm to have some crunchy bread and it's going to be awesome. I love Maybe a pierogi on the side. What about you?

Speaker 1 (54:06.574)
Great, so I'm like, bigos? What was that soup we had in Poland? Bigos? was like... I have... But like garlic too. Borscht? Maybe. I don't know. Borscht...

Who could say?

borscht, no? Borscht is his own thing. I don't know what we had.

But I understand what you're saying. Yeah, you see the vision. I have to credit, I got both of my things from the internet. Oh, yeah. A library in the state of Maryland posted an article where they assessed the historical facts of this movie that I read. then at the end, they had a suggestion to have an eight layer honey cake, which is a. Which is a.

a Russian dessert. It's called a Medovik? Medovik? Medovik? I don't know. It's a Russian eight layer honey cake. And they said that historically that it's the kind of thing they would have ate at these parties that the Romanov family would have, you know, that a period accurate dessert. It's from a library source. So I thought that was really fun.

Speaker 2 (55:14.498)
I couldn't think of a better place for you to pull a suggestion from.

Right. And then I also found a vodka, obviously you got to drink vodka with the Russian movie. So I was like, what's a vodka cocktail? And then I found one on a website called Kindred cocktail and it's, they just called it an Anastasia. That's why I found it. Cause I Googled Anastasia cocktail, but it sounded really good. Ginger vodka. I've never had ginger vodka. This makes me want to go try to find ginger vodka now. Like ginger flavored.

You infuse

Maybe, but that sounds fire to me. But it's just ginger vodka, pomegranate juice, triple sec, and some lemon juice. I think that sounds so good. that sounds fine. A little fruity vodka, make it strong with your little honey cake while you watch in a stage. While you watch them blow up this bridge. While you watch them invent the enemies to lovers trope. Yes.

That sounds really good, my god.

Speaker 2 (55:56.43)
The bomb

Speaker 2 (56:04.916)
You did so good.

You did so good with this one.

Speaker 2 (56:14.008)
Yes.

Except they were never really enemies, they were just like, didn't understand each other.

Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you ship them.

And then what are you gonna watch next? You said Treasure Planet. for sure. definitely, this makes me wanna watch Land Before Time. It makes me wanna watch some Don Bluth 80s. But if we're sticking with Russia as a theme, because this did make me wanna watch something else that was about the Russian Revolution. And there's also a satire, because this is maybe, this is not a satire, but this is like a bungled ironic.

piece of media from the Russian Revolution, but a good satire is the movie The Death of Stalin came out a couple of years ago. It's just really fucking funny. And just watching this made me want to rewatch that. So that is the point of the follow-up film. And in real life, though, I followed it up with, I've been watching that TV show Yellow Jackets, if you're familiar. It's about a girl's soccer team who gets in a plane crash.

Speaker 1 (57:15.128)
I've been watching that show. anyone watches that show, I am getting caught up on it. I'm enjoying it so far. What do we think? I'm trying to get back on TV. Instead of rewatching old shit, I make myself watch new shit now. I'm at least trying to.

I just did that today before we started doing this podcast. I had about an hour to sit and eat or whatever. Girls, and I'm enjoying it so far. Yeah, actually.

Yeah, would you

Speaker 1 (57:42.51)
Hey, make sure you, I was gonna say, make sure you check yourself. You could turn into a really bad person really fast if you're watching Girls Unchecked, I fear. Not you, I think any woman between the ages of 14 and 50 are prone. If you watch girls and you're a little bit of too much of yourself and Hannah, and you're like, you can run away with that, I fear. I've never actually watched this show, I just see it. I see the Lena Dunham effect in people.

Yeah, I'm enjoying it so far. I have very strong opinions about Lena Dunham herself. But I do think that this show is strangely so self-aware. It's impressive. Which is not something I would have ever considered Lena Dunham to be.

Do you find it comparable to like a sex in the city or like because I feel like you like those?

Yeah, do like, yeah, I'm a broad city girl, sex in the city, love those. So I am enjoying this so far, but I'm not someone that likes cringe. And this definitely has a good chunk of that. then, so I'm like, I'm, what is it when you expose your therapying myself?

Also like this is like, exactly, this is the perfect thing. This is the white woman's exposure therapy to other white women, other cringe-right women.

Speaker 1 (59:10.722)
Wait, wait,

Exactly, I'm actually doing the work, right?

my god, that's like my therapist told me I had to watch season one of Girls and it's not looking good for me. It's not looking good. I got diagnosed as a Hannah. It's not okay.

guys, I'm cooked

Speaker 2 (59:31.758)
But yeah.

And then what are you gonna get this movie out of town?

I'll give it what I give it. I think I'll give it like it like a seven and a half

I would really watch this again in like a heartbeat.

I I put it on while I was in the kitchen doing dishes today. Specifically, I just wanted to watch the in the dark of the night bugs harmonizing scene again. It was stuck in my head, but then I was like, you know what? I'll just leave it on while we cook. I tried to make pistachio butter today. I don't really want to talk about it. we're gonna. That's serious.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10.294)
We're gonna leave it here. Have a wonderful week. All of you guys, thank you so much for listening. All of the links in the description will lead you to places where you can find us. There, you should tell us what movies you want us to talk about on this show. Or you can tell us other things, like if you're watching Yellow Jackets, or if you're watching Girls, or if you're watching anything, really, or if you have thoughts about the Oscars, or if you have just thoughts, really, you can just send them to us. Yeah, us up.

I've been saying this a lot, but like, even though it seems like we are unactive on the socials, like if you DM us, I check that shit. So don't you be worried. Your May pun themed suggestions for May, get them in. Yeah, received from Jen, received from who, I'm listening. Anyways, love you guys, have a great week. Au revoir. Bye.