Interview With The Vampire

Correction: David Geffen is not the richest living gay man, nor is he the only gay billionaire. 

Swamp Thing TV Guy on Fire Stunt 

Video Essay on Confederate Vampires by Princess Weekes 

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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.206)
Should we burn him? Bury him? What would he have liked? The swamp. Okay, ready? I'm gonna cast the scene and we're gonna recreate the scene. Which of us is Kirsten Dunst and which of us is Brad Pitt? I think you're Kirsten. Okay, I'm Kirsten Dunst. I'm leading the way down to the swamp. You're carrying this man we just set on fire. Of course, yeah. no, they set him on fire afterwards.

This is before and she just slits his throat and he bleeds out. And then they wrap him up and they dump him in the swamp. That's also the name of this podcast. Hi, welcome to the Swamp. It's a podcast. You're here listening. It's an acronym. It stands for some whack ass movie podcasting. It's also where you dump Tom Cruise's body if you're in a pin.

The SWAMP (01:01.902)
He will find his way back out though. Tom Cruise, a swamp zombie vampire was really doing it for me. It wasn't on my bingo card. Like the more haggard he looked as he came back, was like, wait, this is working. I had never, okay. I mean, should we just jump right in? Because for me, as someone who has been pretty opposed to Tom Cruise her whole life,

This changed my entire perception of him. I'm still really shook up about this. I don't know about you. Yeah, I think I would have been less shook if I hadn't just watched the movie Magnolia, where he also delivered an incredible performance. And I think this and Magnolia, similarly, it's like how the director utilizes Tom Cruise because he's never not a little bit Tom Cruise. He's putting his fruity little Tom Cruisisms into it.

So making him a gay vampire, like a chaotic gay vampire, like that's just fucking genius. That's just smart casting because he was delivering. He was delivering a great performance and he was really going for it is what I'll say. And you can't not go for it.

which is what Brad Pitt was fucking giving me. He was not going for it. He was afraid to be a little silly and be a little fruity with it. And Tom Cruise was. It's vampire movie. No. We have to at least give him his flowers for that. But there were moments where I watched this with Henry and we would call out, like, oh, and that's Tom Cruise. Oh, and that's just Tom Cruise in the room. That's exactly what I wrote, like in my notes is like, I...

I mean, it's just an insane performance and he's like, I think every role he had, you probably just said this, but every role he has, like he's always has this element of I'm Tom Cruise and I'm crazy. And that's just, like, he just, can't put that away entirely. It's just how much you put on top of it. I guess there was not a lot on top of this. And I thought that really worked. And sometimes he has to cover it up a lot. And I mean, like when he can really let loose.

The SWAMP (03:09.588)
This, yeah, I've never been blown away by him like this. What's Magnolia about also? Magnolia is about Tom Cruise is like he's like a pickup artist and he sells a program like to incels like how to pick up women. And so he's this like alpha male like I was just about to say Channing Tatum. my God. What's his name? Andrew Tate. He's like this Andrew Tate like eskigai or like Joe Rogan eskigai and it's about him. But then it's also about

his estranged relationship from his father who's dying and who is his father's nurse, Philip Seymour Hoffman. And so then it's all about like all these different people and how they know each other and then all this crazy shit happens. whatever, Tom Cruise, again, is kind of being a little bit himself, but you could tell that this whoever was creating this movie, director, casting director, producers, screenwriters, knew that they could kind of count on Tom Cruise just showing up and being himself a little bit. So you-

surround him right with the right conditions to make it work for your movie. And that's why I feel like not to discredit Tom Cruise, but like, yeah, I'll fucking discredit Tom Cruise. think it's entirely how they decided to, you know, utilize his fucking crazy ass. Yeah, I guess. I mean, even because here's the thing. I'm sure you like me went through all of the IMDb trivia. Even Anne Rice was like, what the fuck is this? Why have you cast Tom Cruise?

Like I could not think of- pissed. was pissed. And then she actually wrote him a formal apology having seen the movie saying I was so wrong and like endorsed his performance. She took out seven pages in Variety magazine, I believe it was, apologize after she saw the first cut to say like, I want to roll back, which the-

Trash talking your own movie to begin with, publicly, is a whack decision, but you do you and Rice speak your truth. And she was like, I just need everyone to know that this movie fucking rocks. That this is it. my God. wait, happy pride. my God, yeah, by the way, happy pride. Happy Pride Month everyone. So we're doing gay vampires because why not? Let's have a little fun. And honestly, I did not know how.

The SWAMP (05:27.47)
I thought it was gonna be like subtext gay, not like two men necking and moaning and floating in the air. And then they get married and adopt a child together and kind of gay. The Antonio Banderas of it really like took me out. Like, I mean, it was all like pretty, I mean, yeah, they do get married and adopt a child really. like, I mean, obviously Brad Pitt, like you said, he's giving.

almost nothing. Tom Cruise put his everything into this. What he's doing is he's he's mewing. He's got sharp cheekbones. He's wearing those fuck ass piercing green contacts and he's in a beautiful costume and has billowing hair and he just stands there and serves and says, I don't want to eat people. And then everything else just happens around him. And that's it. Protagonist.

don't want that to be our protagonist. Every other character we meet, I'm like, can we interview this vampire? Can we interview a different vampire? This movie is about Lestat, if you ask me. Oh, absolutely. From my POV, I don't give a shit about Brad Pitt, Louie, whatever, don't care. I want Tom in that little blonde wig. That's actually where the book series goes, after the first book. Yes. It leans more towards, it ends up being more of a series about Lestat. Well, that's, think, I mean,

You and I had watched a couple of episodes of the show. The TV series, which I do want to get back into now that I've watched the movie. I might get into that after a context. And I've been in a vampire kind of era right Well, vampire recession, so. Yes, vampire recession. I'm also dungeon mastering a D &D campaign that, if you're familiar with it, it's called The Curse of Strahd, and it's a vampire themed. It's about the first vampire.

and getting trapped in Transylvania and having to, or like, you know, a D &D version of Transylvania and having to take down the original vampire who's like, by these dark forces. But so I've been in my vampire bag lately doing lots of research about all of the tropes and the lore. And I would say like growing up, my experience of vampires was almost entirely defined by my relationship with Twilight. Like that was it. Like we just grew up in the Twilight era. So that-

The SWAMP (07:43.662)
like formed my understanding. So it was always more of like a teen girl romance like spin on it. Whereas I think now I've been getting more into like what I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula and Nosferatu that came out. I think really kicked off another vampire recession. Like you said, I definitely on my watch list, I want to watch a Blade really bad. I want to also watch there's this one with Ethan Hawke and it's about how they're like

almost the whole world is vampires and there aren't any people left so they need to hunt down the last people to feed. So I wanna watch that one too. And then I feel like later this month we should cover, it's like a David Bowie vampire movie. What's that one? Which is also like super gay. I, on my two watch lists are a ton of vampire stuff just to inform myself but also I'm so excited for this theme. Gay vampires, yes. Please, if anyone has, I'd recommend it. boys.

Probably. Yeah, if anyone else has some recommendations, though, please send them our way. We started this off and we were like, we need to kind of like dip back into Twilight, but we would end up doing the straightest one. Right. Which is Breaking Dawn Part 1. We're kicking that off to another month. We're pushing. Yeah, we're trying to avoid doing that. So send us some suggestions so that we don't have to cover Breaking Dawn Part 1 this month. But maybe we'll have to resort to it.

I wanted to ask, I feel like I did a little research because I was sort of interested about the connection to vampires and like queer identity because I do feel like vampires always feel really gay to me. And especially after this movie, was like, I'm just feeling like the gay vampire energy, to sort of, I guess give a foire into our theme for this month. I mean, there's just some obvious overt symbolism of like,

this carnal desire that you feel a deep shame for and you know for with vamp vampirism and then also like with feeling queer and then also vampires being like othered from society and having all these things that are different about them like easy for a queer person to you know relate also feels like very i mean like nightlife wise especially like yes i mean not today same age but yes that's the whole thing like gay people could like the top the

The SWAMP (10:01.132)
some of the only times like it's been safe for gay people to go and be gay people is in clubs at night. In the dark. In the dark. So there's just like a lot of through lines between like the whole lore of vampirism and also just like the queer experience. But also like actual vampire lore and literature and history is rooted in gayness because. please tell me more. So before ever Bram Stoker.

Irish, I learned. just assumed he was from Eastern Europe, but he's from Ireland. That makes so much sense. Dracula. But before that, vampires have always been a thing that's in folklore, in myths. There's really no definitive way to track back who. Nobody came up with this idea of vampirism. their own version. cultural version, yeah, that sort of then manifested into what we now know today.

but is entirely informed by all those different cultural tropes. But one of the first pieces of literature came out before Dracula was this poem about these two sailors, these two male sailors who were gay lovers, and then one of them dies at sea and then comes back to his lover to feast on his blood to regain life force. And that's one of the first ideations of vampirism in literature that we know of.

Gay semen. So, cool. then- Okay, that's awesome. Subsequently, Carmilla was also like the OG vampire. She came before Dracula and she- Why do I know nothing about who this is? Yeah, there's a movie which we should probably cover later this month, but Carmilla, it was this book and it was about this lady vampire of the night and she takes a young woman into her estate.

and she seduces her and feasts on her and they have this entanglement. It's almost like kind of Carol coded a little bit. I found- Don't tell me there's a fucking vampire Carol floating out there that I haven't seen. my God. that's also, it was also used generally the gayness of it all was used as a part of the like way to other the vampire as a dangerous creature, which on the whole is obviously a negative thing. Like, and also they'll be-

The SWAMP (12:22.446)
Gay and suck your blood, shouldn't you be terrified? But I found that, you know, queer people have generally reclaimed the vampire and have gotten over that like original, you know, tidbit or whatever. But so then, yeah, and then it was, you know, Bram Stoker's Dracula and then Vampire's Vampires. But vampires have always been so fucking gay. So Anne Rice, Anne Rice, she knew what was up. Then also, what was like your history with this movie? Had you ever seen it before? Never seen it before. No, I had.

knew about it of course but i i feel like i am just chronically online so i i knew and heard more about the tv show that's been out and about in the world yeah but i i didn't really know too much about this i knew i knew the kirsten dunn scene where she cuts her hair and that but after that i didn't know like shit what about you

I also didn't even, yeah, I didn't even know the level of gay that this movie was about to deliver to me. No, I it was about to be like really like subtextual like you said earlier. I was like, no. was in it. Yeah. Yes, I knew that it was Kirsten Dunst's like breakthrough performance. I think she was 11 when they filmed this. So that's like wild that she has just always been that fucking bitch. Like she served.

It was one of those ones that like her parents didn't even let her watch it when it came out. They're like, yeah, this will be too scary for her because she is fully 11 years old. No, but she like was acting scary. She was the scary part of some of these scenes, which like her again, I'm usually annoyed by child actors, but I thought she delivered on the frightening and the gore and the, you know, being a scary vampire. then also when they're like.

She is an 100 year old woman trapped in a child's body. Let's deal with the ramifications. Why did she feel 30? I was like, oh my God, there is a deepness in her eyes that I can tell that she has lived this life. Like Kirsten Dunst, she just acted fucking circles. Brad Pitt stood there and mute and serve. Tom Cruise was doing laps around him like the fucking Tasmanian devil. And then Kirsten Dunst showed up and she said, stop the fucking show.

The SWAMP (14:38.062)
This is my movie now. She's really the moon that everyone's orbiting around. okay, considering this, that everyone, I mean, almost everyone in this movie did a pretty spectacular job, except for Brad Pitt. I want to pose you the question, who would you recast? It's 1993. You are looking for a hot young actor to come in and shake up your gay little vampire movie. He's got to be sexy. He's got to at least

kind of put his chest into this. Who are you picking? Okay, so before I answer this, I want to deliver to you a piece of trivia because there actually were few other people obviously on the table looking and the only person I saw for Louie, I saw that where there was a lot of names in the pot for the start, but I only saw Val Kilmer was offered the role of Louie and passed it up. So please tell me there's others. What had happened was

Anne Rice wrote this book in 1976. And it was actually an allegory for her to process her grief of her daughter who died of cancer. she had a five year old daughter who died of cancer. And it was so fucking sad. And the character of Claudia is based off of her. also like how when a five year old is dying of leukemia, they suddenly have this like acute understanding of death and mortality and

this incredibly adult-like concept. so that's where it's like this eternal child in Arrested Development came from for this vampire. And then like weirdly, she's Louis and her husband, whose name is Stan, is Lestat, which Lestat, Stan, like that kind of sounds the same. So her husband is Lestat and she's Louis, but she wrote them as both men and she wrote them as like these sort of gay lovers. And it is...

equally as erotic if not more erotic or straightforwardly gay in the books. Like this movie didn't really crank it up. It is as explicitly was 1994. think that's pretty, that's very reserved. And this feels like, I can imagine they could have gone a lot further. So she wrote this gay vampire book about her and her grief.

The SWAMP (16:57.23)
And then, you know, then that whole happened. It took off. People really liked it. New Vampire sort of craze, yada, yada, yada. It's going to become a movie. You know, who owns the rights, whatever, all that Hollywood bullshit. And then eventually they're like, can you do a screenplay for it? And you'll notice that she is credited as writing what? Like two people are credited for the screenplay of this movie. And I don't know if she actually wrote much of this iteration of it, but I know

She wrote a version and it was kept under, you know, this was way before, like probably in the eighties and they were like, it can't, like, it's just not gonna work. It's not gonna work. People aren't gonna like that. It's gonna be gay. So she wrote a version that was straight, that changed the Louie character to be a woman because that was sort of in the allegory, like the thing that would make the most sense. And do you know, do you know who was gonna be the lady?

version of Louie? Wait, wait, this is like the 80s? We're talking? I think so, yeah, like probably... don't know, Susan Sarandon. Share.

Isn't that not? Stop it. Mm hmm. So so it was going to like but then Cher was actually a fan and encouraged her like, don't think you should un-gay it. And then eventually, you know, again, who has the rights moving through production processes, things change, yada, yada, yada. But Cher actually wrote and recorded, I believe, two songs for this movie that just never because it just never worked out, then got released on

some albums of hers like way down the line that, you know, she just saved them and used them later. Yeah, I could probably tell you, but you could a Cher song that was supposed to, no, they like remixed them as dance tracks and released them in like 2009 on her you know, Emrah. my God, Thank God for Cher though. mean like, it's tough. Cause what would I have preferred to see Cher and Tom Cruise hypothetically?

The SWAMP (19:07.412)
Six feet tall, Tom Cruise five feet tall, like as a vampire lover duo, that would have been fucking wild. my God, like, like I'm glad that she vouched for gay rights, but. said gay rights. I don't know. I think I might have preferred it. I really think I might have preferred Cher because Brad was so bad. He was really like.

really bad. I loved just about everything in this movie except for him. So that, okay, who else, who else was our, let's get back on track. Who else was our options? who are we gonna pitch? Well, actually, I would maybe have just swapped Christian Slater. Swap the Brad Pitt and the Christian Slater actors and have Brad Pitt be the journalist. Easy. The timid journalist and have Christian Slater, because Christian Slater can get kind of weird, think. easy. I agree with you there 100%.

And who else could be a swap out for Brad Pitt in 1994? was like, I mean, Keanu, we could have seen. I have two that I feel pretty passionately about. Probably a little young, comparably, but I think if you wanted to keep it, because I think they still wanted it to be like a little macho, I guess, which is why Brad was there.

Maybe, I don't know, but if that's what they were going for, I think a young Christian Bale could have done phenomenally. I think could have eaten that up. up everything. Of course, it would have been great. Or Ewan McGregor, honestly, which he was not popping off in 1994 yet, I don't think. But still, think he could have done great with that. He would have put his whole chest into this. Agree.

Agree, yeah. I do think you could really swap the Louis character for really almost anyone and it would be... anyone. Basically the same. But other than that, you want... Okay, I will say, even like, do you know who I... Okay, you know it's bad when I think that even Matt Damon could have done a better job. I don't know about that, but at least it would have been something. At least it would have been something. But honestly, it didn't bother me as much.

The SWAMP (21:28.716)
because as we were just moving, this story moves so fast. And so I'm just keeping up with the vampirism of it all. And I'm just trying to keep up with Tom Cruise, but I honestly didn't even really mind the lackluster performance from our protagonist, because it honestly just kind of gave me a fucking break from the rest of it. was like, you know, the palatable vampire of all of them.

Which is sort of his whole deal, right? It's that all of them are like fucked and villainous and that he like kind of retained somewhat of a soul for whatever reason. And that's why he has these sort of conflicts. vampire with morals. mean, Antonio Banderas said, wait, fuck these hoes. You're my new boyfriend. We're getting out of here. Literally, where did that come from though? Because they like talked once and he said, I'm in love with this man. Yup.

And then they were lip to lip, like breathing into each other's mouths. What the fuck? I was really sitting there like, did I miss something? Because he was out of nowhere. He fully said, I'm ready to abandon this entire community for you and you alone. And I'm not going to let you know that. And it's really going to come in handy at the very fucking last second. I was like, how fucking convenient for Brad Pitt. The Antonio Banderas is just here to swoop him away because it's all going to work out for you.

But I'm like, whatever, can't be mad at it because it's giving vampire boyfriends. in the book, are boy, they first decades live together in a relationship. yeah. Louie, like there's a large actually like just as much that's about his relationship with Lestat is also then about his subsequent relationship with.

Armand and like trying to get over Listat with Armand. do you think that Anne Rice's husband thought about all of this considering that he, I mean, he must've known. He was probably like, I love this new house that we live in. Thank God. He was also a writer. So I think he probably got it. And I mean, it's like a loose allegory. She just, you know, and then she ran amok with the vampirism of it all. Antonio Banderas's wig. Can we talk about his hair? Obviously. distracting.

The SWAMP (23:42.44)
Yeah, that was that was Nicole Kidman bad. What was going on? I was like, I just want to talk because I thought that the hair and makeup and costuming overall was fucking spectacular in this movie. was great. The blue veins on their face. know how they did that? that they hung them upside down. you read that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That trivia. That shit's crazy. Honestly, Brad Pitt's performance makes sense because he also did not want to do this movie once he started it.

He was like, this is painful. I hate the contacts. I hate doing this. I hate being on a dark set. I don't want to do this. And he looked for a way out and he couldn't get out of it. Yeah. He asked the director and the director said, you can pay me four million dollars and we'll stop production and you can leave. But that's for retreats. That's and he's like, OK, well, I can't do that because he wasn't Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt yet. This was actually probably one of his like more like

up and coming kind of roles. Yeah. So it does really make sense in all lines. This movie had a budget of $60 million and I do believe that 10 of those 60 went to Tom Cruise. Isn't that crazy? Just to be in it? Yeah, yeah. His salary was 10 million of the 60 budget. actually, yeah, this was like his hottest moment, right?

Yeah, yeah. The reason that this movie was able to retain its gayness and actually had such a fucking huge budget is all because of David Geffen. He's one of the founders of DreamWorks, the animation studio of DreamWorks, specifically the studio that made Shrek. OK. He was very instrumental in the early days. He also founded the record label that signed...

Crosby, Nash and Young, Bob Dylan, Jody Mitchell. It was all the California folk musicians of the day. He found that record label and then he moved on into the entertainment business. And he, with Steven Spielberg, founded DreamWorks Animation Studios and he's a gay man. Why the fuck did I not know that? He's a billionaire. He is one of, I think he's maybe the richest gay person, the only gay billionaire, something like that. fuck yeah. No, mean, fuck.

The SWAMP (26:05.262)
Fuck billionaires, but- Well, fuck billionaires, but if there's gotta be one. But David Geffen, David Geffen also actually dated Cher, like, as a beard situation for- I'm sure. Like years, I think. That shocking. Oh, shocking. But he was the producer of this movie. So that's why it got a huge budget, and that's why he didn't care that there was some homoeroticism to it because he-

you know, was a gay man. that's pretty cool. This was sort of allowed to be a somewhat uncompromised version of Anne Rice's vision. And I do believe that the show is even more uncompromising and like, from what we watched of it, they directly present the vampire to make characters as gay. That's like, fucking have penetrative, they show penetrative sex between two male vampires in the show. It's like, hell yeah.

The floating butt fucking was really awesome, honestly, I will say. Yeah, I think I'm gonna try jump back into it, honestly, because I do love Jacob Anderson, who plays Lestat in the show. I love if we wanna get Not Lestat, Louie in the show, Jesus. Yeah, Louie. I think the guy they got to play Lestat is also impeccable casting. He definitely has that presence to him. and he, as much as, okay, because here's the thing.

As much as this movie is unhinged and great, I am not personally turned on by this movie. Tom Cruise, while I think was fabulous, I still find it all wholly unsexy. The show... Oh my god. Oh my god. Hot. Hot. I feel like the show, from my observation, also handles the issue of race much better, obviously, not just because they race-bent.

the main character, but because this movie does deal with slavery in a time period and it does not do right on the plantation. said, I own slaves. That's maybe the fourth line in the movie. Right. It's him being like, here's the deal. Here's the plantation. And that can all be fine, but we have to address like that it's happening. And also

The SWAMP (28:27.582)
For me personally, I'm going to need that character to show me a little remorse. One line of dialogue where he later says, hey, I've lived for a hundred years now and I know that that was not cool. That's all I need. That's that's all I need from you vampire Brad Pitt. Because there's actually this interesting trend of Confederate vampires, which really was brought to my attention with all the discourse around the Sinners movie, which again, I thought.

dealt with the sort of intersection of vampire lore and race, like in such a cool and nuanced way. Or Hale, served in the Confederate army because we needed backstory for why he was good at battle tactics. Okay, Stephanie Meyer, you fucking freak. we have Confederate soldier Jasper. I believe there's also a Confederate vampire arc in the Vampire Diaries TV show.

where they're all in fucking Interbellum South as vampires. And then the show True Blood is also about a vampire who was a slave-owning Confederate person. there's all these instances. A good spattering. Of like slave-owning or Confederate soldier vampires. And I think the Southern Gothic and like, you know, the South and vampirism.

It's sort of inherently tied, but I didn't know how much this was instrumental in that because Anne Rice was from New Orleans. And so she used this as the space. And I assumed that she did not originate this trope. I assumed that there was always like a deep South vampire connection, which there is a little bit, but she's the one who really cemented it in like culture, right? As like being this thing, cause it's where she set this book. She really brought that.

vampires to the forefront of culture. It was like way feel like I should read this honestly. At this point it's got to be pretty thick. I mean how many books is it right? There's multiple books right? There's like 17 books but you only have to really read the first one I think is what the general consensus is. I've also heard it's a pretty good lesson if you want to do an audiobook. Okay fine. But for me I was like, Louis I do just need you to say you regretted doing that and

The SWAMP (30:43.554)
Burning your house down and letting them all go. doesn't count. No girl, that was a manic episode if I've ever seen one. Doesn't count. Relatable though. did say this is me after one minor inconvenience as soon as he started lighting the curtains on fire. No exactly. I did understand that. But the way this movie deals with race is not super great. It does take place in New Orleans and he is slave owning plantation owner.

So it's like, we're not just going to ignore that. But he like has this relationship with this one slave played by Fanny Newton, who's like his house servant. he, she's like the first person he actually kills. like, then he feels all this remorse about it, but it's like this weird situation where she is like the mouthpiece for.

all of the slaves who work on the plantation and she's like, hey, you seem different and your friend is like really weird. Like, we don't like him. You guys don't eat ever and you don't come into the sun. And his vibes are like really atrocious and she's like, yeah, we're like all kind of scared of you now. And I'm like, bitch, what do you mean scared of him now? He's your enslaver. You were scared of him before and this would not be the dynamic. So it was just like that.

That character was just used in incredibly weird way. Those were just several instances where we only see them killing and eating women of color. They're going after sex workers, they're going after slaves. It was very 1994 where it felt like no one cared enough.

We could do a little montage where we show Tom Cruise killing a bunch of different people, because he said, oh, I'm nondiscriminatory in my feeding. I just pick people. But it's like, you do seem to only kill black women, though, and that one rich white woman that one time and her boy toy. Exactly. Exactly. What's that about? Nondiscriminatory, it seems like you're preying on a vulnerable part of the community because you don't think people will notice when they're gone, which.

The SWAMP (32:53.066)
is a thing that's there in present. But I'm like, we need to address that a little bit more if you're going to bring it up in your fucking movie. Mm hmm. Have him say that he regrets the slaves so we can relate to him as a character, because that's really putting up a wall for me. mean, Brad Pitt, I couldn't I couldn't do anything with him. So right. Yeah. Yeah. We were beyond that. But the crux of this movie is that Tom Cruise baby traps literally. my.

Because he turns he turns Brad Pitt into a vampire. He's like, you're really pretty. I'm going to take you home. Actually, you're going to take me home. I'm moving in with you. And so he moves in and he's like, this is our home now. We're chilling. And he's so pissed that Brad Pitt won't eat humans. He's like, just do it. Just come around to it. This is this is it. These are your pictures. Yeah, no, this is your one vegetarian friend and you have to.

now cater to them. Exactly, exactly. Which it's really not that hard. I mean, he really did say, girl, go eat your rats. I don't care. But he did care because it did bother him. Yeah. He was bothered and he kept pushing it. And he's like, come out with me. He's like, Ma, he's like, don't make me drink alone. Oh, my Don't make me drink alone. No, why is that an excellent comparison?

And also a good comparison for the gay allegory of it all, where it's like, it's this thing that he feels shame about and he like doesn't want to do it and he doesn't want to do it in front of anyone. And it's like, but it's a part of him. It's a part of his nature. You just got to do it. Let yourself be free, Brad Pitt, please. He's he's like pissed that Brad Pitt isn't down to like kill prostitutes in like weird threesome.

which I also think the show probably manages better than this movie. Also the sort of relationship where the Louis character seems like pretty strictly, dickly obsessed with Lestat only. And Lestat is like a man whore who was like, any hole is a Yeah, exactly. So it's like, also this like, he like wants to do like group sex and stuff, but Louis is just kind of like, I guess I'm here also. Do we have to, baby?

The SWAMP (35:11.566)
Yeah, no, Lestat opened up the relationship and Louis did not want that. Right. That's that's entirely their vibe. like any relationship vampires, can fix it by having a baby. he says he actually he just follows Brad Pitt home and Brad Pitt decides to kill Kirsten Dunst for like it's just overtakes him. Like that is the moment he decides to finally just give in. Let me find this this poorly plagued child.

And so he This is what I've been waiting for actually. He bites her and he thinks he kills her. And then Lestat is like, JK, JK, I turned her and I took her home and here's a little surprise for you. Here's our new daughter. I saw a funny letter box review that was like, Louie, I'm over this. leaving. Lestat, I'm pregnant and it's yours. Like literally fully baby traps. Exactly that, exactly that.

And we sort of open this situation where Kirsten Dunst is this eternal child and she learns how to be a vampire and she develops this sort of nuanced relationship with her new gay dads, her new gay vampire dads, where like Lestat is more of her teacher and she's like always eating her piano teachers and eating her dressmakers. And they're like, you're so silly, Kirsten Dunst, cut that out. But then Louie is like more of like the actual parental.

figure and they actually have more of that kind of bond. But it really quickly, because the time is passing in this movie quite rapidly, we open up, like I mentioned before, sort of this eternal child storyline, which I immediately was like, who, what producer on this movie is a pedophile? And is this going to get so awful so fast? like, okay, because it does get to Was Kirsten Dunn safe? I was like, okay, was she okay with this? Was she safe? And honestly,

by the end of it, it never really crossed the line of it being so creepy. She does kiss Brad Pitt on the lips, which I did not like. Don't make an 11 year old do that. I didn't like her calling him my Louie. Did not like that for a second. there also was this very much established parent child like Antonio Bender at some point. It's like, oh, she's your lover as well, right? Like wink, wink. he's like.

The SWAMP (37:33.806)
That's my daughter. He cleared it up. He said, absolutely not. So they definitely, they made it very apparent that this was a desire that she had or an issue she was dealing with that you all, always was just like waiting for something awful to sort of resolve itself in that storyline. But it was kind of honest and an interesting examination of like, well, yes, of course, an a hundred year old woman would feel.

weird being trapped in the body of a child and not getting to have those social experiences. Like I just didn't expect them to dive that deep into that particular aspect of it all. But I guess the book, the book is actually more like lover coded where it is like they are parent child, but then it's also like they are in love with each other. But it isn't like sexual, but it is more of this like deep, eternal love because you are, you know, you are in.

immortal being so you have to find these like deep, you know, connections with other vampires or whatever, because he's also in love with Armanda and he's also in love with Lestat. Like all these vampires are just in love with each other. it is what it is, but I was actually quite impressed with the dealing of this issue because I thought it could have been so, it could have gone so bad so fast. absolutely.

Do we wanna get into our regularly scheduled programming? Yeah, I feel like so it's Lestat, Louis, and then like who's our Mont probably. suppose, yeah. I'm gonna kill Louis boring at the end. Also, I loved the ending of this movie of Tom I did not expect it. I it was. shows up and said, yop, yop, yop, boring, boring. Cause Louis ends the story like, and then Lestat.

died and I never saw him again. It's like, really? And Christian Slater's pissed. He's like, really? That's not the ending. That doesn't make sense. And Louis is very much just like, no, that's how it is. JK, bitch. And then it sort of leaves us open to that interpretation. guess also in the book series, Christian Slater's character does become a vampire and then ends up getting with Armand. And so then Armand and the Christian Slater vampire have weird, voyeuristic vampire sex.

The SWAMP (39:49.07)
Apparently that happens later down the line. don't know. I read that online, made me kinda interested to see what Miss Anne Rice is all about. How are we intrigued? Anne Rice also hated fan fiction and like legit tried to take people to court for writing. Cause she was like, you're ripping off my stuff. And people were like, no, this is fan fiction. It's like, it's good for you. And she was not. She was adamantly against it.

She also said she had some shit to say about Twilight too. She does not fuck around with what Stephanie Meyer was doing. And I don't blame her, honestly. With the vampire canon. Except I'm kind of like ladies, ladies. We're all just trying to do horny vampire shit, all right? Also fair, also true. Don't hate the player, hate the game, and we're playing the same game, so. It's just, mean, Anne I think is such a heavy hitter probably, comparatively.

Like, I mean, looking at Stephanie's, she's probably gonna be like, what a fucking joke. And I can't say I blame her. She actually passed away, like not that long ago, in the 2020s, I think, because she had involvement with the TV series in the very early stages of it, not until it came out. Like she passed away before then. I think her son is still involved though, on the TV show, which is pretty cool. Her son is also gay. That's also one of the reasons why she was pretty adamant about not changing anything. Cause she's like,

Don't be homophobic. She's like, first of all, this is my stand in, you know, self insert grief fan fiction, so to speak. So don't tell me what to do, but also don't be a homophobe. Like the vampires can be gay. She's like, if my son can be gay, the vampires can be gay. Exactly. Oh, so fuck Mary Kills for the whole movie. Is anyone like really doing it for me? I mean, not really, honestly.

Like, unfortunately, most, Tom is the most exciting person in this movie and I don't want to marry him. He's cracked. Do you know who kind of tickled me? Tell Is the first vampire he meets, the one who does the silly little tricks before he makes Oh, What's his name? I don't know. What's his name? Santiago? Santiago. I thought that was Christopher Wallace for a minute. I can see that. I also felt like I recognized this actor, but then I did.

The SWAMP (42:08.878)
I didn't really, I think he was in V for Vendetta, but I didn't really clock that. That was an IMDb pull, but I feel like he had a jovial nature. I also was obsessed with the concept of the vampire theater and Kristen Dunst being like, this is so avant-garde, like vampires pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires, actually doing live human sacrifices in front of a theater of people. Not a bad gig. So funny.

Yeah, this movie like 9,000 things happen in this movie. Yeah, but do you know what I mean? Like this feels, it feels, it's not horny. Like no one is sticking out to me in the slightest. I guess, yeah. I guess I would Well, cause it is majorly about the main two. So it's like, it's like, of them are doing it for you. That sort of. No, killing Louie. neuters the whole thing. Yeah. I'm going to kill Louie. I think I'd fuck Lestat and then I'd, I guess Armand, Mary.

We can live in the crypts together, that's fine. Yeah, marry... No, yeah, marry Lestat, kill Louis, fuck Armand. And even like anyone outside of that, I don't even have an opinion on, so... It's kind of meh. So if you're hosting a little soiree, you're gonna watch... with... I really wanted to... I got Mandela affected because I really thought it was interview with a vampire. Interview with a vampire.

Interview with a vampire. Interview with a vampire. Interview with the vampire. It's the vampire, which to me doesn't check because he's not the vampire. There are plenty of vampires. wanna- I'll tell you, you're not THE vampire. Also, if anyone is THE vampire, it's not fucking you, bro. No. But I... Yeah. Interview with a vampire. Agreed. But you're having a party. What are you gonna eat and drink? I think you should obviously, if you can manage to have a crawfish boil.

and just dump that shit out on your coffee table because we're in Louisiana, bitch. But I do think for like a vampire movie, all the blood and the piercing and the sucking and undulating and the blood noises is like, you don't want something comforting to eat during that because it's kind of icky. It's a bit much, And to keep with our New Orleans setting, I think you should have some gumbo or like some jambalaya, just like a hearty rice dish, nice carbs.

The SWAMP (44:35.32)
good seasoning, getting the vibe. And then for your drink, I think you should buy some fur, some like faux fur, like brown faux fur from the craft store. And I think you should make little koozies for your Capri Sun pouches. So it looks like you're sucking juice out of a little rat. So you can be like Brad Pitt when he's draining.

The rat, like, I you should have a little furry juice box that you just go in on. Yeah, Tom Cruise bleeding the rat into the cup was a lot. God. but there's also a really interesting sounding New Orleans cocktail, like the cocktail of New Orleans. I think it's called a Sazerac and it's whiskey, absinthe, sugar.

and bitters, which sounds just like an assault. So if you want it to get trashed for this movie. I was gonna say, I also went Absinthe because there is a good mention of it in the movie. But the one I picked is, what is it called? The Ritual, which also is so vampire coded. Love the sound of that. But it's essentially a bee's knees, but with Absinthe. So it's gin, honey syrup, lemon juice, and then like an ounce of Absinthe. Sure.

Yeah, sounds nice. I'd give it a go. I had a cocktail I had for the first time. Oh, you're having some charcuterie. I'm keeping it light. I'm keeping it... This isn't one that I really wanted to eat with personally. But I could pick. I could do a pick. We could also do something with an open flame because there is that scene where they light him on fire. The stunts also. A lot of work.

A lot of stunt work happening in this movie that it seems like they did like fucking legit. Like you could tell they were really tossing people around and into coffins and shit. my God, Brad Pitt waiting outside of the burning coffin with a scythe waiting to decapitate that bitch. So fucking cool. But yeah, this movie had a lot of really cool action moments, falling down stairs, people falling like out of buildings. pushing Tom Cruise up against the trees and he's just floating between them.

The SWAMP (46:58.478)
Love to. Yeah, and all the vampire magic, the speed and all those kind of effects, I just thought were really cool. But Henry made me watch this clip of the 1982 Swamp Thing TV series. I'll link it in the description below and I'll send this to you after Emily, that they light this guy on fire.

in this show and it just is this extended shot of this guy on fire for fucking real. And the stunt is just wildly impressive. if you like that kind of stuff on camera, like a jackass element, I don't know. Cause I really enjoyed watching Tom Cruise be on fire. And was like, damn. And Henry was like, yo, you want to see an even cooler guy on fire? Let's ramp it up a level. Well, yes. And then what are you going to watch after this?

I want something with another duo in the same way. Again, I think this one also reaches a good unhinged level. I think you go face off. yeah, because want to get weird with it. That's giving Tom Cruise energy performance. Yeah. Well, what do you do after this? I feel like you have it, like you can't do anything less than what you just watched. You have to come at it with another...

strong movie and I think that's your girl. What about you? I, in real life, wanted to watch this David Bowie movie, The Hunger, which is a vampire movie from 1983 because after I watched this I was Googling about gay vampires and everyone was like, The Hunger. So I was all like, oh my God, but then I was like, I'm going to be too sleepy. But I was legit about to turn it on. So in real life, I was really interested to watch The Hunger, but then I was like, wait, we'll probably do it. We can do it this month. Sure.

then, yeah, like, what do you follow this up with? I mean, you could also just do Twilight to do the comparison. Of course. Also Sinners, I would say would be another great follow up again to get more into because of the way this movie kind of mishandles it. they have one shot where they're trying to imply that the slaves are like doing some sort of voodoo and then they just like cut away from it and never talk about it again. And it was just like.

The SWAMP (49:17.55)
sort of thrown in there, like, I don't know, again. Not nuanced, not handled with care, like not even relevant to the story per se. Whereas I thought Sinners obviously did a great job with all of that and was very intentional with everything it did. I've been wanting to rewatch it since I saw it in the theaters. I've been wanting to rewatch it again. And then what would you still haven't seen it, so. 10, this movie out of 10, I'm honestly gonna give like an eight. I've had a really fun time. yes.

I had a really good time watching this movie and I would put it on again in a heartbeat. Yeah, I was mad I want to the show now and I'm interested in the book now. Like watching this really, I'm an Anne Rice convert. I'm a fan. Yeah, she got me. Yeah, maybe it'll reconvene at the end of the month and we'll talk about, I'm going to watch the show, I think, after this and try and jump into it. Cause I need some good TV, honestly. I haven't seen anything that's really piqued my interest after Hacks ended. I know. I'm...

like halfway through season three. So I think once I got through season four and I got caught up to everyone, didn't it just end? So now we're all gonna have to wait for season five. So once I'm Let me know when you get to the season three finale, please. Once I've cranked through that, maybe I'll interview with a vampire it up. Might as well. Because a lot of people on my Twitter feed get horrendously pissed every award season, every time it gets snubbed because it absolutely should be up for like everything and it never is. We'll see.

I'll be the judge of that. But I've only heard good things about it. I've never I've never heard anyone criticize it ever. So interested to jump into that. also feel like people from the swamp have DMed us and said, watch the show. So I trust y'all's opinion. Also, I trust your opinion. Please let us know. Gay vampire shit. Please. Well, try to pick from what we have, which is a fair amount of stuff. But if there's, you know, an overwhelming majority.

We'll go that way and we love you all. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Pride. Stay safe. Keep your friends safe. know, shit is hitting the fan, but we can be there for each other is all I can say. Goodbye. Good night. And have a lovely rest of your Pride month.