The Morning Formation Podcast
Hosted by KP Phillips—a U.S. Army combat veteran, former law enforcement officer, and seasoned instructor in tactics, firearms, and combatives—The Formation Podcast is built on the core pillars of Survivability, Situational Awareness, and the mindset to Adapt & Overcome.
Drawing from over two decades of real-world experience in combat zones and high-risk environments, KP leads authentic conversations with warriors, protectors, and everyday individuals who’ve faced adversity head-on. This podcast is more than content—it's a movement for those who understand that the fight begins before the event.
Through storytelling, lived experience, and expert insight, The Formation Podcast equips its listeners with the mindset, tools, and awareness to remain vigilant and prepared—whether on the battlefield, in the streets, or in everyday life.
The Morning Formation Podcast
Honoring a Fallen Hero: Mallory Crabtree's Journey as a Gold Star Daughter
Growing up without a parent is an experience filled with both pain and resilience. Imagine navigating life not just without a father, but one who died a hero serving his country. Join me as we welcome Mallory Crabtree, daughter of the late Sergeant First Class Daniel Crabtree, and hear her personal story of honoring a fallen Green Beret. Mallory shares her journey from a childhood marked by loss to becoming an advocate for military families, providing a poignant glimpse into the life of a Gold Star daughter.
Mallory's story is not just about tragedy; it's about the enduring legacy of military service and the strength found in community. She discusses the emotional challenges faced by children of fallen soldiers and how her father's bravery continues to inspire her. We explore the invaluable role of support organizations, like the Green Beret Foundation, in preserving her father's memory and offering comfort to families who have experienced similar losses. Through Mallory’s candid reflections, we gain a deeper understanding of the unique sacrifices made by military families.
Mallory is also forging her own path as a young college student, using social media to connect and share her father's legacy with a wider audience. Her aspirations to engage more deeply with Gold Star family organizations highlight her dedication to supporting those who walk a similar path. As Mallory reflects on what she would say to her father, her gratitude and determination to honor his memory illuminate a journey of hope and strength. Join us for this compelling episode to witness how one woman's resilience continues to inspire others.
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Warriors fall in, it's time for formation.
Speaker 1:Today I have a very special guest who I found in the realms of TikTok as I was scrolling.
Speaker 1:It caught my eye because you know as me, being an Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran myself, I noticed that this young lady was I guess it's Air Force Base or Army Base now They've changed it over the years in Columbus, ohio, and they were honoring her father, who was killed in action during Operation Iraqi Freedom. So today I have on the show the daughter of Sergeant First Class Daniel Crabtree. He was a Special Forces soldier who made the ultimate sacrifice during OIF, and she's currently today in college. She's advocating for preserving the legacy of her father and she also seeks to be an inspirational voice for others out there that have lost their parents during Operation Raccoon Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. And so I noticed that in her TikTok she seemed very passionate about sharing her personal story and her journey over time and what that was like growing up. But then also, too, she's connected with organizations such as the Green Beret Foundation, which highlights and supports the sacrifices of Special Forces soldiers and their family. So today Mallory Crabtree gave me the opportunity to interview her on her first podcast right.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yep First one.
Speaker 1:Mallory, I just want to tell you that it's an honor for me to be a part of your public speaking journey, but then also, too, to be a part of memorializing your father, because, as an OIF veteran myself, it's very important for folks not to forget about those two wars. They were extremely important. But I want to give you the floor and ask you the question about your father, and can you tell me a little bit about your father, daniel Crabtree, and what he was like as a father and what was his story going into the army?
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you. So my parents met in high school so they were high school sweethearts and my dad enlisted into the army at 17 years old. He did early enlistment and then he went off to Akron U to study criminal justice because he couldn't, you know, become a police officer until he was 21. So he studied criminal justice there and achieved associate's degree in criminal justice and then he went off into becoming a police officer in Hartville, ohio, and then later in Cuyahoga Falls, ohio, where he served on the SWAT team.
Speaker 2:Then, you know, I really there's like the, there's a blank of time where I really don't know much. I just know more of his highlights of his life. So more like when I was before, you know, I was born, he always wanted to become a Green Beret From young age is what my grandmother said. You know. He just had that drive and he knew he didn't want to live, to be an old man. He wanted to dedicate his life for his country, even if that meant sacrificing everything. He had the drive and he worked hard for it and the first time he went to try to get into special forces he jumped out of an airplane and broke his leg. So when I was born, my dad had a broken leg and my mom was going into labor, so my mom had to drive herself to the hospital. So and there's that.
Speaker 2:And then, right after my first birthday you know, he only got to spend a year with me and he was deployed to Iraq right after my first birthday in January, and then June 2006, he was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq and my dad wasn't driving his Humvee that day, he was driving Secretary of State of Ohio Frank LaRose's Humvee. Frank served with my dad over in Iraq and Frank was called to do something else and you know, my dad saw his Humvee sitting there. He said I'll take Frank's Humvee. You know he's not here. And my dad was with three other people and out of those three people, my dad and another person were killed in that Humvee.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that really hits home for me. Wow, so you were one years old when your father passed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was 17 months old approximately.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, for me, the first IED I ever ran over was in a Humvee 1114, up-armored Humvee, and fortunately it was up-armored and today still on my wall over here I have a piece of that IED that tried to kill me. So for me, it's hard for me not to get emotional when I hear that, but I got to pull myself together, mallory, I got to continue this interview. No, it's just. I keep it as a reminder to try to appreciate every single day Because, literally, fate has a lot to do with us being here and you did this story about. You know, the Humvee was just sitting there and he got in the Humvee and it's just. You know and it's. It was that way for me. With the mortar round that blew up on my Humvee, it was, according to the EOD, it was facing a certain direction and it was not very properly.
Speaker 1:And I'm just thinking to myself if it was calculated, if it was a better calculated killing machine, I wouldn't be here today. So God bless you and your family for everything that you've had to endure over the years. That's really difficult for you, but can you tell me how has your father's military service and sacrifice shaped your perspective on the military and its role in society?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I really didn't find out about my dad, like you know, learn about his passing until I was, you know, I was about four years old, right, I was, you know, I was going to school actively and you know these children, you know, had their dads and it was really hard for me to like grasp, like you know, where's my dad. Do I have a dad? You know, because you know, and it was really hard for me to like grasp, like you know, where's my dad. Do I have a dad? You know, because you know it was so hard on my mom, it was something she just really didn't bring up. It was really hard for her because, you know, you lose that part of you that you know from high school, you know they were together, together for that long, you know it was really hard on her.
Speaker 2:So, so, like, growing up, we really, like you know, didn't talk about it. But there was this one day, um, I was in my room, um, and you know I was really upset and she had come in and she asked me what's wrong and I was like you know where's my dad? And at that time I was, like you know, I was really upset. I was worked up about it because you know, everyone around me had their dad and I I didn't, and she, she told me that a bad guy killed her and you know, ever since then it kind of shaped me, sorry into the person I am today.
Speaker 2:today because I learned about his sacrifice. I learned about the type of person he is because of my family, my family sorry how you? Um, my family, you know, has taken the time, you know, to tell his story. They want to carry on his legacy. You know, to tell his story. They want to carry on his legacy. You know it's been. This year would be 19 years since he, since we lost him. We still remember him each year.
Speaker 2:You know, there's still that like it was yesterday, you know, and I, for me, finding out was just like yesterday. You know, I found out when I was four years old and I'm 20 years old now and you know, I still remember that day very vividly and it is something like I would never forget. And you know, growing up I was like what can I do to follow in his footsteps? I thought about this for years and you know, I never knew the right answer. I would think of something. I'm like no, that's not it. You know, there's something else out there for me and I my mom's sister and her husband are doctors and I was like I found love for the medical field and I was like I can help people and I can give my sense of service and helping those in need. You know, even if it's just, you know, a helping hand or someone to talk to or the care of a medical professional, you know I can do it, you know. So that's what I decided to do and then, as I got older, into like high school, I was like, you know, I really want to tell people about my dad. You know, I want to help other people in that aspect, in that way, so I can help others, because growing up really I didn't have anyone that understood me Right. I went to school with children that had their parents, both parents, or, you know, they were divorced or whatever the case may be. But you know, there was no way of getting my dad back. So I kind of just grew, in that sense, like, you know, me growing up was full of grief, but you know, I was like my dad would not want me to sit here any longer in grief.
Speaker 2:So I decided one day I woke up and I was like I want to get into public speaking, I want to talk to people, and I I got a phone call and they were saying, hey, this building is being dedicated in your father's honor. You know, do you have a speaker? And I was like that wants to speak in your family. And I was like you know what I'll do? And they're like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, I got it. And I got up there and I told the world about my dad and then I was like that never left my mind ever since I did that.
Speaker 2:So I did that in 2022, in October, and you know I was going through school, you know, because I was a senior at the time and I was like I'm in college, things aren't going the right way. You know, I'm working really hard and you know I was not doing too well with nursing because it's not no joke, it's difficult. Yeah, it is. And I was like things are getting hard. I'm gonna do what I love.
Speaker 2:So I called someone I knew and I said is there any way that I could speak at any events that you have? And he said let me get back to you. But a day or two later he asked me he goes do you want to speak at wreaths across america? And I said, of course, because wreaths across america, you know, remembers the fallen around the christmas time. So I was like, yeah, I will do that and I inspired many children sitting in that audience and it just really made me feel good about myself. You know that I was doing something and it wasn't just nursing. You know I don't. I see myself as my father. You know I see me doing multiple different jobs within my lifespan. You know I don't see me just settling for just nursing. I feel like I want to help people in different ways.
Speaker 1:Right, Right and wow, what an amazing man. So chose a career in law enforcement, chose a career at the elite level of being in the military special forces. I mean, the man was looking for a very meaningful life. And you know, growing up, do you feel like? First of all, I want to mention this too Nursing is no joke. When I was, when I was becoming an officer, we used to emphasize trying to find army nurses. And this is this was during a time, this was during a time of war. So, finding someone willing to sign up for the military during a time of war, finding someone that could do the physical fitness stuff, and then finding someone with the smarts to make it through all those super tough courses that they have to do with the smarts to make it through all those super tough courses that they have to do.
Speaker 1:I mean it was really hard for us during those times. But I want to ask you so, growing up, I mean, did you have a difficult time explaining to your friends what Operation Iraqi Freedom was and what Operation Enduring Freedom was?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So growing up, you know it's something you don't hear every day. Like I said, growing up I didn't know anyone around me that had the same experience that I did. No one understood what I went through every day, especially because I was a baby. You know, they were older, they had memories and, honestly, it was a lot difficult for them but, like for me, you know, I don't remember him and I say all the time like would I rather have those memories or would I rather be, you know, strong and talk about him today, because, honestly, if I had those memories I don't think I would be able to do it.
Speaker 2:And you know, but when I was, when I tell my friends that they're just like, really like, they're just shocked because you just don't hear it and they're like I'm sorry and it's just kind of like that's it and you're like sorry for your loss, they don't understand and and it's like hard to tell someone that and then understand it, because they don't know what I go through every day.
Speaker 2:All they see is you know the things that I do, the things that you know I've been blessed with. You know, like, the things that I have received, because you know my dad blessed me with it because he sacrificed everything for me. And it's difficult because people will see what I have and see the things that I've been blessed with my entire life and the opportunities that I have that I'm grateful for, and then they push it back on me like it's my fault. But the way I say it all the time is you know, if it weren't for people like my dad, we wouldn't have the things we have today in this country, and that is the way I go through it, and I don't care what people think of me. If, deep down, if they cared, they wouldn't treat me like yeah, I'm sorry for that.
Speaker 1:It's, it's difficult. I mean, you are part of the military community. Such a tremendous loss and you know, I didn't wake up this morning think that I would be crying either. I, you, you talking about your father, um, you know, and his situation getting killed in action really hit home for me because I well, I didn't think this episode would be this heavy. I, I didn't, I wasn't thinking about it, I didn't it. For some it just it brings back so much I don't know what's going on with me right now emotionally.
Speaker 1:It's just it, just wow, kid, like you, your, your dad is very proud of you and and who you are to me. I can tell you a lot of parents out there would love to have a daughter like yourself. You know, being as resilient, as strong as you are, and even if you don't have those memories, I mean having to to cope and explain to folks. It's one thing if your parents are divorced and you know they live somewhere else, you know and you can still call them and yeah, but then having to explain that they passed away and then they and they passed.
Speaker 1:It's one thing if your parents are divorced and you know they live somewhere else, you know and you can still call them yeah, but then having to explain that they passed away and they passed away during this event that most people you know I think it's less than 5% of the US population was actually involved in Operation Iraqi Freedom or Operation Enduring Freedoms.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The room that you stand in makes it even more difficult to identify with anybody else in that room for them to understand the significance of his sacrifice. But what would you say overall? What were some of the most challenging aspects of losing your father at such a young age?
Speaker 2:Besides talking to your friends and having to explain to folks, did you find that adults didn't also understand? I ran into you know adult too. Honestly it's sad, but they don't care. I've ran into that. I've ran into people that do care and I've ran into people that are like you know, I want to do anything I can to help you, and it's really a mix of all three of those things. But you know, either way, I'm telling my dad's story and that's why I grew up and that's what I do.
Speaker 1:You know, and I always tell folks that for military folks that go to war, go to combat, sometimes it's not necessarily what you deal with over there. It's coming back.
Speaker 1:Here is what's difficult when you sit at a table and you're getting these questions, or folks just don't care, or they ask a question and as soon as you start to answer, they move on to the next topic. You know cause I, when I went in, I felt like I'm going in for a bigger cause. I totally knew what I was doing. I decided to go from enlisted to officer and I knew that I was going to deploy. I just didn't know when and when it came my time, which was really early. I was 24 years old when I deployed, right out of college, brand new butter bar. I did not anticipate or expect. And when I found out that I'd be running convoys and right after fallujah you know, one of the most dangerous times between when I was there and your father was there I just became a zombie. It's like a sleepwalk for me.
Speaker 1:Um, things happen for a reason and I was I scrolling on TikTok and I found your profile for a reason. Just listening to your story and listening to your resiliency is really refreshing for me, mallory, thank you. I want to ask about some of the outside folks that helped out with your overall coping and memorializing your father over the years. You know, with your overall coping and memorializing your father over the years. You're in organizations like the Green Beret Foundation. What role do they play in?
Speaker 2:supporting you after your father's passing. So the Green Beret Foundation recognizes my dad every single year on June 8th 2000,. You know, whatever year it is, they always have and I value them a lot. I you know that they remember him and even though it's almost been, you know, 19 years, they still remember him. He's never forgotten.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a very small community of folks out there and I've known a few folks over the years that were also Green Berets, friends of mine over the years, co-workers and things like that, and that's a very small, tight knit community and it's a very honor, a very big honor, to be part of that community as well, year after year. You mentioned that your family continues to remember your father's legacy. How exactly do you guys do that?
Speaker 2:Well, every June 8th we get together at my mom's house. Sadly, my dad's mom and dad's sister live in Georgia, so sometimes they're up here, sometimes they're not, but we just celebrate his life and we're all together and we just tell stories, and we do that and get food, because that's what he would want us to be doing, right right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's important to just take a pause and take the time out of your busy year to just come together as a family and see one another and catch up. I mean, I I always say that you know, anymore living around or near family isn't enough. You have to live between that, their house and the grocery store for them to come visit you, right? So so even just coming together is a big deal and I'm sure he'd be extremely proud of that that you guys have done that. I can't believe it's been almost 20 years. It's hard to believe it's been 20 years for me since I deployed. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like I'm 20 years old. So it's like, oh my gosh, I can't blink, I'm 20. I turn 20 on Saturday and I'm just like I feel old.
Speaker 1:After you feel old, after you hit 21, it's like you blink and you become 30, and then you blink again and you're 40. So make the most of it for sure. So are there any specific projects or causes that you're involved in that are dedicated to supporting military families or raising awareness about their sacrifices?
Speaker 2:I am not currently in any, so I'm actually trying to contact people to get involved. I actually was doing that earlier this week. I want to be involved and I know a few family members of mine also want to be involved as well. You know, just to be with other gold star families. We just want to be a part of everything with gold star families yeah, no, I know that you're only 20 right now.
Speaker 1:You're just getting started on your journey, so I'm catching you on the on the very beginning of your of your journey and your in your path and, like I said, it's a very, very huge honor for to do that. Is there any other way that your, your father's life and his sacrifice has inspired your personal or your professional goals overall? I know you mentioned earlier that you want to make the most of it. You want to do a multitude of things, but anytime when the going gets tough, what? What pulls you through?
Speaker 2:I just say you know my dad didn't. You know he worked hard for everything that he's done. So you know I can't give up. So you know I've gone through school, you know I haven't done well, and I just get back up and I do it again. And you know I keep going at it. You know if it takes me another detour, you know. So what I don't, it doesn't matter how long it takes me. I'll just you know I'll be there one day, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's all about. You know what that's? That's the thing about it too. I was never the smartest in my class. I was never able to just sit there and read the book and like pass the test, but I was always willing to fall down, get back up, brush myself off and keep on going.
Speaker 1:All the naysayers when I was growing up, I mean, I had guidance counselors tell me that I was not college material. I had a lot of people that didn't believe in me. I had some people that were in my corner that did believe in me, like my father, but overall the one thing that got me through was just being resilient, having that grit, not being born with that silver spoon in my mouth and just being a scrapper. And it sounds like that's the kind of person that you are overall, and I know your father is I know your father's up there looking down extremely proud of everything that you've accomplished so far and the woman that you're looking to become. What lessons, what lessons would you think came out of growing up in this situation that you were in, with a father that was killed during war, having to explain what? What lessons or values do you think you gained from it? Do you think it made you tougher.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. And I would also say I don't take things for granted. The time that I spend with people, you know I don't take that for granted because you know something, you know something and someone that meant so much to me and was so close to me was just taken away from me like instantly. You know, it didn't take long at all, like a year, and it's like I never really truly understood why or how. And you, you know you have all these questions like that can't be answered because you know he was in special forces. I don't really know the entire storyline of it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know most of it to a full extent but, like you know, there's details that I have and questions that I have, you know, that may not be able to be answered well, you know and, and I was just thinking to myself that overall, growing up, I mean you kind of had to fend for yourself when it came to you know, the other kids and everything like that, and had to had to figure it out for yourself. You know, without I guess it was just you and your mom growing up, right?
Speaker 2:so mostly. My mom did get remarried and have another child. I have 11 year old brother um who's on the spectrum, so, and he's great, he really is great that's great.
Speaker 1:So you developed another family and and you're able to like kind of, you know, at least have somewhat of a of a of a growth with a sibling and things like that. That's, that's awesome. But what I want to ask you about Gold Star families what message would you like to share with other Gold Star families out there who have experienced such similar losses as yours?
Speaker 2:I would say you know we're in this together and you know if you ever need someone, there's people out there to talk to. And you know I say this all the time because when I went to Columbus I met a Gold Star family and I told them you know I'm always here for you. You know, just text me, call me. You know contact me on any social media, I'll answer. And you know, even if it's just someone you need to talk to or you need to call or you need anything, you know, just please let me know. And you know I, the children, I tell them, you know, never give up on chasing your dreams. You know you got to make your parent proud because you know they worked hard for what they wanted to do and you have to do the same thing and not to let grief overtake your entire life.
Speaker 1:I've had to. I tell you what. That's an extremely important message for folks. Just drive on, drive on.
Speaker 1:Anytime that I've ever been in a ruck march, forced ruck march or a run or anything like that went up in the military. My father was in the military. He 20 years, drafted in 71, and he was a real tough guy and I just kept telling myself to drive on, keep going, like don't give up, and then go and get tough, get going, and I think that's that's kind of the great thing about having such tough, tough fathers, like like even yours that we are. Are we developed that mentality too, to to keep going and keep fighting? Have you, have you had any chances to talk to any of your father's peers, any other NCOs, and ask them about, like, how he was, or you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, of course they. They'd been there for me since day one. You know they'd been there for me, there for my family and you know we're very close with you know some officers of my dad, you know when he was in police and then you know the Green Beret unit that he was in. You know we're very close with them all too and we actually see them. You know, once around in June they actually do a parachute jump at Rickenbacker where the unit jumps out of airplanes in honor of my father and then we have a lunch afterwards. So it's beautiful. I mean everything that they've done. You know everyone has done for me. We really appreciate it, Like you do. I'm just so blessed for everyone and I have in my life and everything and I, you know. It just makes me want to get back to other people.
Speaker 1:I know for many, for much of your time feeling understood is probably something that's absent. But when you're in those small communities, like in June with the, with the special forces unit, I'm sure it feels really great to be around like-minded folks with the ability to understand where you're coming from right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it does, and I also in 2022, my scholarship program.
Speaker 2:They all had like a.
Speaker 2:They all their program is for children who have, you know, lost a parent and you know I got to meet up with 25 other children around the same age as me down in Tampa, florida, and I got to meet them and, like you know, compare like experiences and how to cope with things, and you know that's really when I met people that went through the same thing as me is when I went down to Tampa.
Speaker 2:So I'm surrounded by people that I know that went through the same thing as me and you know they're all from all over the country and it's just truly a blessing as well, just to know people and you know, have fun and, like you know, learn about, you know, school and what our future is going to look like, and just to plan out everything you know and to see what everyone is doing and, like you know, some of those people are going to be future doctors. You know, and it's, you know, good that they overcame it as well and we told our stories and you know it was just a great time we had down there together.
Speaker 1:I didn't think talking to you today would be so heavy. I didn't think that I would actually start to cry during this episode. I I didn't think talking to you today would be so heavy. I didn't think that I would actually start to cry during this episode. I really didn't. I did not think a whole lot of it. I just thought I just want to be a part of this young lady's journey to memorializing her father, who made the ultimate sacrifice. I guess, because it's so close to home for me, he was deployed a year after I got back. I have an idea of what he was dealing with. Very difficult time in our history and this. I've had to pull myself back several times during this episode to not pull out, just start balling out. So but it's, I mean it feels good to talk to you. It feels good to have the opportunity to talk about him and then give you the opportunity to talk about yourself and your journey.
Speaker 2:And I just want to no, it's.
Speaker 1:It's an honor for me honestly. Thank you for replying to my messages and stuff and and and working this out, but I want to give you one last opportunity. Okay, if you could speak to your father today, if you could speak to your father today, what would you want him to know about the person you've become?
Speaker 2:I would say it was because of him. Thank you for being such a role model for me To follow in your footsteps. That's what I would say.
Speaker 1:I know he's really proud of you. Thank you, Mallory. So just to finish off the episode today, thank you so much for this opportunity. Is there anything else you want to mention before we finish the show? So today, thank you so much for this opportunity. Is there anything else?
Speaker 2:you want to mention before we finish the show? I don't know. That is all. Thank you guys. Thank you guys for everyone listening to my story as well. I really appreciate it and my family is beyond blessed to have all these people who support us and follow my journey and follow my dad's legacy.
Speaker 1:You know, I want you to know, I want you to keep going Everything you're doing on social media. You know, I want you to know, I want you to keep going Everything you're doing on social media. You know, connecting with other folks out there. Mallory, I'm going to make sure that in the show notes that I put um all the social medias that you want folks to follow.
Speaker 1:Cause like I said, you're just starting out in your first mile of this journey of life. You're only 20 years old. You're still finishing up college. You know, I would like to see where you go with all this. You have a great start to everything, but I'll make sure folks out there listening. If you're watching this on YouTube, scroll down to the bottom. In the description You'll find the links to connect with Mallory on her social media. I know TikTok is going to be gone, or should be gone, by the time this episode, but we'll see what happens with that whole thing.
Speaker 2:We'll see yeah.
Speaker 1:You're on Instagram as well, and are you on LinkedIn?
Speaker 2:Yes, I am.
Speaker 1:LinkedIn. Okay, so if you're open to it, we'll go ahead and put all those on there as well. Mallory, I just want to thank you for joining me on the Morning Formation today and telling your story.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:For everyone else out there.