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What is Awaken (with Pastor Andy Gaver)

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SPEAKER_02 0:34

Well, hello, and welcome to the In Throne Podcast. My name is Solomon, and I'm actually here with a special guest. I'm here with Pastor Andy today. I'm really excited for what we're going to talk about, but I want to just kind of let you in on what we're doing. This is part of a new series that we'll be doing on the In Throne podcast, and it is called What is Awakened? And we're talking about the more so the sides of everybody in terms of what Awaken Ministries actually is and what it's actually about, because I think there's a lot of people that don't really have a full grip or understanding of what awaken ministries actually is. Some people think it's a bakery, other people think it's a church, and some people think that it's just a whole group of people doing a bunch of weird stuff and they have no idea. So we're kind of here, not necessarily to set it straight, but to just let you know what we're about, because we're open, we're real, and we're people about Jesus. And that's pretty awesome. And so I'm actually here with Pastor Andy today, and I think it's really awesome to have you here today. Thank you, sir. Uh, just because uh you help lead and do a lot within Awaken Ministries, and I think it's really awesome with what you do. Uh and so if you want to kind of maybe introduce yourself, uh I guess you don't have to look over there, but if you can introduce yourself, like, you know, just kind of of who you are and your background, where you're from and what your family's like, and a little bit of stuff like that, if you'd like.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Sure. So I'm Andy Gaber. I'm originally from Pennsylvania. I grew up just south of Harrisburg and um went to college at Penn State, had a degree in agronomy, and then started my job and career with uh USDA, and then in that they moved me out just north of Pittsburgh. And I've been um in Pittsburgh probably for 20 plus years, and then just recently, it'll be two years here in October when I retire from the government um and moved down here to be a bigger part of the ministry. Wow, really?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yes, okay, that's really cool.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah, so I'm I'm married to Toya, and then we have three kids, Matthew, Emma, and Sam. And we've always we've always kind of done church and all that because my family grew up in in church. Her parents grew up in church, so it was just sort of our thing to do. Um and we had we had been a part of several good churches um out there in the Pittsburgh area, but we were always looking for more. And um that's how that's how I started in in the journey to get to here. But I'm sure we'll talk about that a little bit a little bit more later on. But um yeah, I mean, I grew up, I grew up around agriculture, just you know, kind of fell in love with it, loved working with the government because I was able to act with, you know, actually work with real people. Um we did a lot of work on the ground, a lot of construction work, so it was a lot of hands-on type of activities that I like to do. And my wife was an accountant, and then kind of uh her career took off in you know the financial world, and you know, she's been really successful at that. And we just kind of had we just had the perfect life. We lived in a in a nice development with around, you know, around a lot of other families. We did a lot of family activities. Um, you know, kids were active in you know soccer and that kind of thing. And we just, you know, we did our own things on the weekends too, but we were always always looking for for more. You never you were always you never felt satisfied. There was always um well when we get when when we get to here, it'll be it'll be good. You're always, you know, two years down, two years down the line. When we get you know, two years farther down the line, it'll we'll be set. And it just it just continues to to sneak past you. And it just um it kind of left left an emptiness there. Um you know, and as we walked closer with the Lord, um you s you you were more awakened to that. Whereas, you know, growing up, we did better than our parents, much better than our parents, and we've you know, we considered that to be success. And um, you know, we we saw the people that were around, especially in the development, and we were uh on on par with them or you know equal with them. So you just expect that you know, yeah, things are a little rough and they'll but they'll get better as you as you mature in your marriage, as you you know mature in your career, things will get will get better. It's always just right over the horizon is where where the success is. And we we started to see that, and we even had I mean I I knew December 31st, uh 2035, I was gonna retire from the government. I knew what my pension was gonna be, I knew what retirement was gonna be. I had stuff lined up for the kids, I knew how much we were gonna give them for schooling, all that, all that stuff was all outlined. I had the perfect plan. Yeah. Then the Lord showed up. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Yeah. So if you could, sir, you could kind of talk a little bit more about how the Lord showed up in your life. What did that look like for you and your family? Because what I'm hearing is like you guys had quote unquote perfect life, and you guys were already kind of going and active in church. And I meet a lot of people that are going and active in church, but what was the difference between what you were feeling and seeing versus that life, if that makes sense?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Yeah, so I I mean probably probably when I came to the end of myself, right before I joined the ministry, or right before we started to go deeper with the ministry, um I stopped going to church. I got tired of I still paid I still paid my tithe to stay in the good graces, but I didn't um I didn't attend. Toya went mainly just for worship and for the kids service. Um and that was fine, but I didn't have any desire um to attend. I looked around at the people in the development and it was one of those things where they just seemed as happy, if not happier, than I was, and they weren't they weren't going to church like I was. They weren't trying to do all these things to measure up. See, for me, it's see for me, it's always been about perfection. You always hit the mark. And if you don't hit the mark, then then you fail. And it's nothing against because all of this, and all of this, and and understand what I'm saying, all of this shaped who I am. There I would never do it any other way. Um I would never do it any other way because everything that I experienced got me to where I am right now. And if I would change any of that, it would change who I am. So when I, you know, when when Troy and I were first starting dating, and even when I was younger, I went to a hellfire and brimstone church. And it it's it's like Brother Andrew says, if you know, if you know, if you know. I never knew. So every Sunday I repented.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Lord forgive me. I've I'm I'm a terrible sinner, forgive me. Tuesday afternoon I had already screwed up again. Well, back to the drawing board again on Sunday, and that's the thing. But but it there was there was a a fear and a there was a fear and a reverence for what was being taught there that you had that there was more than just this life, and you had um there was gonna be a there was gonna be a judgment. And and you want to make sure you're on the right side of that. So there was always this striving to to do good and to to measure up. I wanted to be pleasing, especially to God, because I went to a Christian school, so I had a a firm understanding of of the Bible and you know what what's taught there. And but I always viewed God as someone or or something distant, way out there, that you know, eventually whenever I get to heaven, you know, it'll be it'll be fun. And and you're just doing all these things on earth to to measure up. And it was always frustrating because you would try and you would try and you would try and you would you would get nowhere. It was just spinning your wheels. And I would look around, and the people that didn't go to church, especially in a development, they were happier than I was. They they were more loving as a father than I was, they were more loving as a husband than I was. And it's nothing against how I was raised. It's just you don't know what you don't know. But then once you're once you're exposed to that, I understand it now as permission, but before I just saw it as condemnation. Well, I have to do something different so that I can be on on par or better better than those guys. So you know, we started we started looking a little bit we we started looking a little bit more um into how into how to be better. Um But we yeah starting out I didn't I or at the end I didn't I didn't go to church. Um yeah, but Toya Batoya went. I can't what what was the other part of your question?

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Well, I think more so there's a part because I can transition it in there, is that there's a part to where you were getting towards the end of yourself because if I'm understanding correctly, you just correct me if I'm wrong, that you were seeing you were getting the same results as other people, some of them even getting better. And it's like, well, some of them aren't going to church either. Like, why do I need to go? You know, but there was something that you felt was missing. What do you think was that pivotal point that you felt like, yeah, there's there is something missing? What what made you agree that there's something missing and something had to change?

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yeah, so it was so I would say when it when we were around people, because when we first got married, we lived a little bit farther out in the country. So there was neighbors, but we we never lived in a community like in a development. And then when we started living in a development with 65 other people, uh or 65 other families, you get to see a lot of interactions because your yards are up against each other, you're you have community events and those types of things. And you and I saw how I saw how other fathers didn't yell at their kids. Um I saw how other husbands didn't didn't yell at their wives. Or just not not so much yell, but weren't so stern with them. Yeah. You know, it's not everything has to be um strict and regimented, but that's how I understood things, to be strict and regimented, because I'm I'm always coming from a perfection mindset. So if you if you can't do it perfectly, then that frustrates me, or it frustrated me. And when I couldn't do something perfectly, it frustrated me. So when my when my three-year-old didn't act like a 13-year-old, that was frustrating. Yeah. And of course the kids are supposed to be quiet and sit over there in a corner. And that and and when I didn't see it that when I didn't see that type of behavior in other families, um, that's what that was it goes back to that permission. Something something in in me isn't right. Um because they're not these people are not in religion, or they or they are, you know, haphazardly going to church. They may go to church one Easter or Christmas or you know, just a few times a year. And they're living different, they're living better than I am. And then that's um that's when I started looking out to looking for how to be a better husband and and father. And a lot of it was podcasts. I mean, I had gotten back into hunting, and there was a series of podcasts I listened to, and then the social media, and I mean, really the only reason why I was on social media was just to kind of keep track of you know what guys were doing hunting wise. Come on. Um so it was just it was just a natural following. And then one day, uh, one of the guys that I follow that's local to Pennsylvania, uh, reposted a guy that actually lives out in Utah and has a men's podcast. Uh, so I started listening to him. Oh, I was like, man, this is really good. And then it just it was just a series of podcasts that that got me closer and closer. And then that's when I met that's when I met Brother Andrew in Awaken Ministries. Um because through a series of piecasts, I found a guy um who wasn't, you know, who wasn't a minister, who wasn't a preacher, he wasn't, you know, anybody. He was just a regular guy like you and me. Yeah. But he preached Jesus like I never heard anybody preach. And he was hard. I mean, that guy was hardcore. He shot guns, he ran, he did a lot of physical, you know, he was a man's man, and but he preached. He preached Jesus like he believed it. And I never heard I never heard anybody talk like that outside of the church. Of course, you your pastor's always gonna be passionate. Yes. The people that are in a church are always gonna be passionate, but I never heard I never heard a guy um I never heard a guy talk about Jesus like that.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And it was it was real, and that realness, it it it was, I was like a moth to the flame. And then we followed him um for I let's say over over a year. And then Brother Andrew showed up and he started preaching Beloved Identity. Wow, and it was a special uh Patreon style podcast where they would have um they would have a meeting every every uh every weekend and it would be an hour and they would do a teaching and then a question and answer, and then and brother Andrew was on that podcast as a special guest, and he started talking about beloved identity and being free from himself and free from people, and I immediately grabbed hold of it because that's what I wanted. I hated people, I absolutely hated people. If they didn't do it my way, it frustrated me. Yeah, and and that's why I wanted that freedom because I didn't want to be bound. I wanted I didn't want to be bound by people's uh opinions or or what they thought of me. So selfishly I wanted I wanted that message, but also in that there was a message of hope and freedom that there's that that the father actually loves you, that you don't have to measure up, that it's all about relationship, and I never heard it. I never heard this before. I mean I was in I was in I was in church, I was in in the Bible all these years. I mean, I we're we're in probably in my mid-40s, and I was you know, I started in in private school when I was in kindergarten, and I'd never heard I never heard this message before. And I can tell you that the majority of the people that were on that call that night never heard it. Because our Zoom chat, you'll get a random question here and there when when they were doing the teaching. That thing blew up that night. Nobody ever heard of this guy, nobody ever heard this message before. And that's the that's the thing, is that's what I was and then in that then I started doing everything because I'm a little obsessive compulsive when it comes to the activities of like hunting, fishing, you know, any anything that I uh anything that I'm passionate about, I just go overboard and I want to investigate everything and anything about it. Yeah, so whenever I heard about Awakened Ministries and Brother Andrew, I tried to find anything and everything I could on it. I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find anything. I mean, there was bits and pieces out there. Yeah. Um but then I had some of his some of his podcasts uh I started listening to, and then there were some others. Um so then I was also searching for beloved identity because he had talked about beloved identity. So I started searching for that. What's what's beloved identity? Then there was some other there were some other um ministries out there that are preaching a very similar message. Um and I started listening to that, and I was like, wow, this this stuff is stuff is real. Yeah, stuff is real. And um, I think it was October or November of that year, Toya said she started following them on Facebook because I would send her podcast. So you gotta listen to this one, you gotta listen to this one. Listen to this one. And and then she's like, hey, um, Awaken Ministries is doing uh this discipleship program in January. They're gonna do two free calls in December. Do you wanna do you wanna do that? I'm like, sure. I love Bible studies. I mean, I didn't grow up, I didn't grow up um you know as as a um in a denomination, but where I grew up, the school that I grew up in, and most of the then the church that I I went and was a was the biggest part of, it was God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Bible. And that's that's what you believe in. You believe the word. Yeah and you that paper book is the word. And and yeah, you know, there was God the Son who came down to save us because we couldn't do it for ourselves. So He He did it supernaturally for us. Now I've come to learn that He did it as an example to show that we can do it. Yeah, He did it as a man. But I always believed Him as coming down as God and doing what we could never do. Yeah, and that's why you could never I could never measure up because I'm not God. But now I understand that Jesus gave me permission. And when He gave me permission, I now have the ability to do it. And it's just doing the work through Him. But back to back to the story there was you know, I I wanted to do a Bible study. Sure. I love Bible studies. The more head knowledge I had, the better. I did Bible studies on Revelation, I did Bible studies on on the gospel, but then when we did those first couple calls, I'm like this ain't no Bible study. Say no Bible study.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

Now why would you say that? Why is that? Because the people may not understand fully, they may, they may see like, well, what kind of Bible study was it? They may be a little weirded out.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

It was so so we we do a Thursday night call where there's a teaching and then there's question and answers. And then in that program, um you also have the opportunity for at least once a quarter, if not once a week, yeah, um, calls with Brother Andrew. And when we um when we started that, I was so I was so far at the end of myself. Like I I mean, I was in a very, very dark place. I was just in a very dark place, and I didn't care. But growing up, growing up, I always cared what people thought. I never I never asked questions. I never really said too much because I didn't want my opinion out there. I didn't want people to make fun of me. And but now when we started the by when we started the discipleship program, I didn't re I didn't care. I was so far I was so far gone that I didn't care what people thought. I was gonna ask the questions because I needed to know. And if I if I could be vulnerable, then I give somebody else the opportunity to hear what they may be wanting to ask too. And maybe they were too afraid or they were too timid to ask. That's real. But I'm gonna but I'm gonna ask it anyhow. Because I'm not that I'm trying to be the hungriest in the room, but I had gotten to the point where I was so um I was just so far gone that it what's it gonna what's it gonna hurt? What's it gonna hurt to be vulnerable? Um yeah, and so you know, uh asking the questions um you know spurned and stirred up a lot of hunger. And then there was more podcasts, and then you know, in that discipleship program, it was just there was a lot of um, there was just a lot of of life together. It wasn't just a Bible study, it wasn't just well, let's just study this chapter and this is the historical context and this is what actually being taught here. This is it was all life application. And then you went and you had those discipleship calls, the what the 101 calls, yeah, where you could ask even more questions and and and it's like I'm I was doing I was listening to the podcast and I would I even ask them brother Andrew the one time I'm like man it feels like feels like I'm missing something um because this this baptism of the Holy Spirit what does that mean? It it is that important should I really have that and it's like he's like yes that's extremely important. But I didn't know I mean that's none of that stuff is none of that stuff is taught. No, I mean it's taught but not where not where I not where I went to to church. It wasn't you know it wasn't something that was that was readily taught. But there's so much power in being um in being baptized with the Holy Spirit. There's just a a level of knowledge um that that occurs when when that happens that you don't that you don't get otherwise and and that's when it's when I started to realize that a lot of this is it's not so much that what I'm doing it's my yieldingness it's my yieldedness and my yielding to um to Jesus and the Holy Spirit and allowing them to do the work. And I mean it's just and that's how you kind of know the Lord is working because like I said I mean we were we started the discipleship program um what maybe a year before I moved down here I would I would say so it's it's almost three years. Let's say it's just it's three years. Solomon it's so far it's so far behind me um that I don't even really remember how I got here. And I've changed so much yeah um but I didn't change it's it's me yielding to the Holy Spirit and yielding to the Lord allowing his work to to work in me. Like I can't put my finger on will you will you do this and you do that and then you get these results. It's just I don't know it's he just does it he he just does it and you don't understand how how he does it and that's how you know that it's not by your by your your strength or your might it's just his his moving and it's awesome it's awesome because there's no measuring up there there's no measuring up and I mean I even even my answers of of what I did when before before we moved down here um to now have have changed because you because you're just so immersed in this kingdom culture that I I don't know how I could do life any other way. Yeah. And all you're doing all you're doing is life together. I mean that's that's really all we're doing is just is this life together.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

It's so fun. That's real. And I think that it's really intense because from where where I'm from it's like people do life together but not with Jesus and if they're doing it with Jesus they're not doing life together. And it was so it's been for me it was really hard to even see that in general you know in my own life. So I absolutely understand like like what like I've never seen this before. And then when you're in it it's like I can't believe I there's there's any other way to live you know and I think that that's really awesome.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

Yeah I mean that's the that's the thing is um you don't you know you I had friends growing up and then we even had um you know couples that we hang out hung out with there in the development and we'd we'd we had um I mean it was I loved I loved to cook uh barbecue you know grilling that that kind of stuff yeah and every holiday we would you know birthday parties we would always have something there at the house and I love to entertain people but it was just well how was your day at work you know what's what's going on man it's hot outside that that kind of stuff it was never never really deep um now now you have deep conversations every every day because I I can go up to I can go up to you or or another guy and say you you don't look you don't look yourself is there something wrong is there you know what's going on and then you can have meaningful conversations and that may just be you know checking on the sheep or you know fixing a fence or you know even just hanging out before church starts there's a level of of depth that you walk um that you that you walk together in now that you didn't no matter how I mean you you can have your best friends um but there's still secret places that they don't even they don't even know about and unless you allow them in they'll never they'll never know and now um you don't even almost have to let them in. You just because we're because we're um so in tune with each other you just you can't help but know uh or see when someone is maybe either struggling or um you know having a really good day. It's just you know it's just evident. And you can and I would say that you can even see it on on people that you don't always interact with. I mean there's there's people you you know you may go to a a grocery store or you know the our coffee shop you may see some people in there and you don't have any relationship with them but you can see um a level of hurt on them and just the way they may interact with their spouse or they interact with their kids there's there's an internal struggle that you're seeing. Now you don't have permission or I don't have permission just to go up there and and talk to them but it I think it's the Lord changing changing my lens changing my eyes and my ears to see and hear uh how he sees and hears and that and all that is for my ability to help people through or him him to help people through me because all I am is just a conduit. Come on it's I'm just a conduit um I just I just say um and and see what he wants me to say and and see or at least that's what the the hope is because I still screw it up a lot. Yeah um yeah but that's that's the um but that's the thing is is just caring for people and I don't know and once you once you have a heart for people it's hard to then become more selfish or self-centered and and pull back from that because it just you just want I'm I'm getting better and the same thing that freed me can free can free you um or help you and even if you're even if you're um even if you don't need that level of help uh that I needed you being a a light will help the person that you interact with. Because I I feel like I know that everything that we're we're walking through um or that we will go through is for the people that are coming that we're gonna interact with. I mean it's it's happening I mean it's happening right now. I mean there's some conversations that I'm having um that it's it's like everything that that they're struggling with I've already gone I've already gone through. Is that cool?

SPEAKER_02 29:56

Yeah that's real. Yeah I think that's pretty cool just thinking about like your time and your journey here one of the things that I think about for myself is like man I mean I had to ask like where would you be if if you like if you didn't believe in Jesus where do you think you'd be besides you know I have to say hell.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

I don't I mean I guess that's I mean that's the I guess that's the thing is I've always um you know because I grew up in I grew up in church and I grew up in a Christian school um now I went to public school there for a few years and I went to Penn State um so I have you know I have an understanding of of the real world yeah I went to public school between sixth and um ninth grade okay seventh and ninth grade there were some terrible years terrible years but it was fun that's who that shaped me into who I am because I went from a classroom of of 14 kids into a into a class of I think there was 120 of us and now you were into different you know different sections and and whatnot but I mean it was a big it was a big culture shock and a big um you know just it was just a big shock to my system to to do that because everybody was nice at at the Christian school everybody was nice public school not everybody's nice and um but that but that shapes you and molds you and you know it's it's one of those things where um I always believed I always believed but I always had questions too you know some of the stuff didn't line up um but I never I never questioned it but it but again it I think it goes back to the fear I was you know because of the messages I heard I knew there was a judgment coming and I just wanted to be on the right side of that judgment and um and then too it was just it was sort of just the right thing to do. Yeah you know your parents you know because I my my goal has always been to to please my parents and and that that seemed pleasing to them agreeing with what you know what they believed. So I I don't know how I don't know how somebody can be agnostic. I mean there's people that that are that are like that they that's just what they believe. Yeah I've been there you know but yeah I've always I've always believed but but that's um I think that's the trick of or a trap of the enemy is um it's almost like it's better not to believe and then be converted and I've even said that um you know to be like a drug at a drug addict or an alcoholic um and then have this massive you know convert you know deathbed conversion or you know come to Jesus moment. Oh yeah but but I had I had a thing you know that's the thing I was I was um I was I was in such a dark place that that I did have it was a radical transformation um but it didn't look like it from the outside because I wasn't homeless I didn't have needles sticking out of me I wasn't you know there wasn't beer bottles and and you know um whiskey bottles dumped everywhere when I got out of the car but that's but that was that was my life um it just it was a train wreck it emotionally emotionally it was just a it was just a train wreck yeah I mean you know I was I was just in a run out the clock situation and it that's why I said it was I got to the end of myself and but it's just funny um how I used to think well if I had you know if I had a come to Jesus moment I would I would live on fire for him. I mean I I said that years ago here I am here you are here I am on fire still that's right for yeah it's um yeah but but it goes back to what I was saying that um I think that the enemy lures you into self-uh complacency or self-reliance that I have this relationship with Jesus he's he's out there and um we'll we'll get together here when I'm when I die and I go to heaven and that's when we'll have this close relationship and I and I think the enemy likes to keep it that way because it keeps you in this safe path at least I'm not the guy at least I'm going to church or at least I'm I'm paying money um you know I'm giving an offering or something like that that that I'm I'm doing something you know I'm not like this guy over here that's not doing anything um and I think the enemy likes to likes to lure you into that into that self-complacent you're good you don't even when you read the book of Revelation the persecuted church well that that's all the people over there in Asia or that's the people over here that's not America we're we're one nation under God we're the we're the church that's um you know it's doing everything right whatever church that was but you know that's the thing is you you know those things are not for me that's for the other guy and I'm and I'm good and then and then the enemy also plays um on the people that are are are broken and destitute. There's no hope for you there's nothing that you can do and you just you know just give up on yourself and it's just so he he tells the same he tells the same lie but it's always it's always you're doing enough and andor you'll never be good enough to have to have a relationship with Jesus. And all the Lord wants to do is just be in union with you and have relate it doesn't you don't have to fix anything. He fixes it all for you. You just have to recognize that you were never lost that's the thing is you you were never lost you know we you know you you have all the parables you know the the good ground the rocky ground um the older brother of the prodigal son the prodigal son and we you know we would pick and choose who we who all the different people are um but it's all of us you know it's all of us I was a prodigal son because I was running but he was always looking he was always looking back for for me I was never looking for him he was always looking for me and then there was also a time where I had never I had never left him because I was part of the church but I was far I was distant from him and I was angry because well I'm doing all this stuff to to please to please some God toy out there and I'm still I'm still not ahead better than the guy that's not doing anything. Yeah and that's so in every parable I saw you know I see myself but at the time I was just using it for judgment and for you know self-righteousness. Yeah and that's that just it it's just the Lord's mercy exposing the brokenness that that was that was on me. Yeah so it's pretty real.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

I I really appreciate that and and I really do appreciate your time just you how you spend it just pouring out and sharing because I think there's a lot of people that may be confused or may not have an understanding of of why we kind of live the way we live or do what we do and why we're even sharing this in general and it's for me what I'm understand is to get people free and to and to show the different angles. You know what I'm saying? Because I the city we're that we're in currently I love the city that we're in. But there's so many people that they desire freedom but they don't know how to get it. And there's other people that feel like they're free but they're so trapped and so bound um because they're just doing the same thing over and over again. And they're getting the same results which they don't want but they don't think that there's anything more and so I'm just so thankful that you came to kind of share that there is more.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yeah yeah and that's the I mean that's the thing is it's never and as we started a conversation with um just over the horizon and it's and it's never over the horizon. It um you can never you can never get ahead because there always there'll always be something something more you can get a bigger house you can get a newer car you can get you know a boat whatever but once you get once you get X, Y, and Z within six months it'll be six months old and then you'll be longing for the next thing. You'll be longing for well we should do this we should do this improvement or I'll get when I get my next one it'll have this and it's always the next thing you're always looking for the next thing but the true freedom comes from just being it's just it's it's hard to it's hard to describe but there is there's freedom and peace um when your eyes are open to to what life is really supposed to be like and that's and and you don't have you don't have to be controlled by situation and circumstance and you don't even and most of the time is people don't even realize that they are controlled by situation and circumstances. The traffic the weather um whether or not their boss was in a bad mood you know anything and anything can set people off and it's not and it shouldn't it should never be like that. Those those situations um shouldn't control and if they do um it's it's the Lord's mercy showing that you're you're not supposed to live like that. It's not it's not healthy to to live um in this rinse and repeat mentality yeah because that's that's what we and we call it we call it midlife crisis um you know people you know it's just like when we were when we were younger when I get 16 I'll get my driver's license when I turn 21 I'll be able to drink when I you know when I get to 65 I'll be able to retire. You know it's just these all these destinations that you're that I'll be happy when and it's never it's never supposed to be like that. Yeah it's it's never supposed to be like that. And I and that's the thing it's one of the things that that hit me um even before I found this was why not why not why not have fun why not have fun now because you retire like I said I was going to retire uh the end of the year 2035. What happens if when I pull out of the parking lot for the last time at work I get T-burned and that's it. All that all that all that all that all my joy was was built up the next day and it and it ends. I think that's the thing is um you there's freedom there's freedom and there's um purpose right now there's not a destination that you have to get to it's it's there is peace right now and that peace is a person and he's Jesus and you and once he gets a hold of you it's there's it's just there's a sense of fulfillment that you don't that you that you can't describe.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

I appreciate that yeah thank you do you uh are you okay if you pray us out today?

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Sure cool thank you Jesus we love you we thank you we thank you for your mercy we thank you for your grace most importantly we thank you that you are peace I ask that you continue to speak to us you continue to work in us stir in us anew strengthen us renew our mind and open our eyes and ears so that we can hear and see who we really are in you that we're beloved sons and daughters of the Most High God that you only long for union with us that all the stuff that we've walked through is just a garment that that you're gonna throw off and when you and you're gonna cast a a cloak of righteousness on us because that's who we are we're we're your adopted sons and daughters joint heirs with you Jesus we love you we bless you in Jesus' name amen and um so thank you again Pastor Andy thank you so much for doing this yes sir I just want to thank everybody for watching and listening and please tune in for the next episode please you know like subscribe if you have any questions even for Pastor Andy or just in general about the ministry comment below and look for us on awaken dash ministries dot com.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

We bless you guys in Jesus' name thanks so much bye bye