{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":1.84,"endTime":6.8,"body":"Welcome to Above Par. I'm your host, Kathy Hart Wood. I show you"},{"startTime":6.92,"endTime":10.7,"body":"how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing"},{"startTime":10.7,"endTime":15.58,"body":"harder, taking more lessons, or buying new equipment. I show you how to"},{"startTime":15.58,"endTime":20.12,"body":"end the frustration of under performing so you can start playing to your"},{"startTime":20.12,"endTime":24.14,"body":"potential. This is where you are gonna learn how to think Above Par,"},{"startTime":24.4,"endTime":30.058,"body":"so you can play below par. Let's get to it. Hey there my golf"},{"startTime":30.128,"endTime":32.94,"body":"friend, it's nice to have you back and listening."},{"startTime":33.64,"endTime":36.96,"body":"I really do appreciate you spending some of your time with me here"},{"startTime":36.96,"endTime":39.86,"body":"and I appreciate the notes and the comments about how much this podcast"},{"startTime":39.86,"endTime":43.3,"body":"is helping you in your golf game, and I really do love that"},{"startTime":43.3,"endTime":47.36,"body":"you're noticing that this is applicable to really any part of your life,"},{"startTime":47.36,"endTime":50.84,"body":"it's how we're managing our mind and how we're thinking and how we're"},{"startTime":50.84,"endTime":53.86,"body":"managing our emotions and the things that we say to ourselves,"},{"startTime":54.38,"endTime":57.8,"body":"how we treat ourselves and how we treat other people. It applies to"},{"startTime":57.8,"endTime":61.88,"body":"every area of your life. It's like if you're doing one thing on"},{"startTime":61.88,"endTime":64.68,"body":"the golf course, chances are you're probably doing it off the golf course"},{"startTime":64.68,"endTime":68.82,"body":"and vice versa, so if you can start making some of those connections,"},{"startTime":68.82,"endTime":72.28,"body":"I think that's gonna be really powerful for you in your life and"},{"startTime":72.28,"endTime":76.16,"body":"also on the golf course, and that has to do with today's topic,"},{"startTime":76.26,"endTime":79.5,"body":"which is what you should do to play better, and it is a"},{"startTime":79.5,"endTime":86.06,"body":"loaded title for sure, because I wanna focus on the word should and"},{"startTime":86.06,"endTime":90.5,"body":"it comes up so often when we play golf, I'm 100%"},{"startTime":90.82,"endTime":94.58,"body":"guilty of this, I did it all the time when I was competing"},{"startTime":94.58,"endTime":98.38,"body":"for a living, for sure. And what we do is we can finish"},{"startTime":98.38,"endTime":102.22,"body":"around and talk about all the things that I should have done,"},{"startTime":102.66,"endTime":105.4,"body":"things that should have gone a different way, we can do it in"},{"startTime":105.4,"endTime":109.28,"body":"the middle of around as well, and it starts to affect the other"},{"startTime":109.28,"endTime":113.22,"body":"shots and the other holes. So what it might look like for you"},{"startTime":113.7,"endTime":117.16,"body":"is that I should have made that putt, I should have gotten up"},{"startTime":117.16,"endTime":121.62,"body":"and down, I shouldn't have short sighted myself, I shouldn't have hit the"},{"startTime":121.62,"endTime":127.02,"body":"ball in the rough. We should and shouldn't ourselves about different shots"},{"startTime":127.22,"endTime":132.48,"body":"that we have on the golf course, we should ourselves about different scores"},{"startTime":132.48,"endTime":137.02,"body":"that we made on individual holes, I should have pared that short par"},{"startTime":137.02,"endTime":140.88,"body":"five, I shouldn't have made a triple bogey on a hole,"},{"startTime":141.6,"endTime":145.82,"body":"we can also go through and should ourselves about mental mistakes."},{"startTime":146.6,"endTime":149.64,"body":"It would look like I shouldn't have pulled out that club,"},{"startTime":149.7,"endTime":153.0,"body":"I should hit a shorter club, I should have paid more attention,"},{"startTime":153.9,"endTime":157.24,"body":"I should know better, I should be able to focus better."},{"startTime":157.76,"endTime":161.98,"body":"I shouldn't be so nervous, I shouldn't get so mad, I shouldn't get"},{"startTime":161.98,"endTime":166.4,"body":"so frustrated, I shouldn't care about what other people think, but I do,"},{"startTime":167.4,"endTime":173.64,"body":"and what happens when we should ourselves should is really could with blame."},{"startTime":174.1,"endTime":176.18,"body":"So what you're doing is you're blaming yourself"},{"startTime":176.7,"endTime":181.78,"body":"or even shaming yourself for what you did and how you performed,"},{"startTime":181.98,"endTime":184.32,"body":"we can start doing it too, just like over and over,"},{"startTime":184.32,"endTime":188.04,"body":"it becomes a habit. It was just a little way of beating ourselves"},{"startTime":188.04,"endTime":190.98,"body":"up, and what will happen is a lot of times people will argue"},{"startTime":190.98,"endTime":193.8,"body":"with me, \"Well, yeah, but I should have. It was only a three"},{"startTime":193.8,"endTime":197.7,"body":"foot put. I should have made that really easy shot.\""},{"startTime":198.68,"endTime":203.16,"body":"And we start arguing with reality, and any time you argue with reality,"},{"startTime":203.16,"endTime":207.04,"body":"you're gonna lose. Well, I talk about different ways that you can really"},{"startTime":207.04,"endTime":211.3,"body":"get into the right frame of mind about what you really should do"},{"startTime":211.42,"endTime":216.22,"body":"on the golf course is by collecting the data, I cannot express enough"},{"startTime":216.22,"endTime":221.38,"body":"how many clients I have who have expectations that exceed reality,"},{"startTime":221.98,"endTime":225.76,"body":"and what that means is that they can't hit those shots on the"},{"startTime":225.76,"endTime":228.08,"body":"range, if you went out and hit 10 balls with every club in"},{"startTime":228.08,"endTime":230.78,"body":"your bag, and you took the data. I've talked about this before,"},{"startTime":231.18,"endTime":234.04,"body":"and you just took a look at the numbers and then get on"},{"startTime":234.04,"endTime":236.76,"body":"the golf course, you expect to hit it even more than that,"},{"startTime":236.78,"endTime":240.68,"body":"better than that. There are three big areas where I see this pop"},{"startTime":240.68,"endTime":244.16,"body":"up, one is in the driver. We have these high expectations for how"},{"startTime":244.16,"endTime":248.34,"body":"many fairways we should hit, it's important to understand that is the longest"},{"startTime":248.34,"endTime":251.56,"body":"club in your bag with the biggest range of miss because there's so"},{"startTime":251.56,"endTime":254.96,"body":"little loft on the face, but yet we have these high expectations that"},{"startTime":254.96,"endTime":258.09,"body":"we should not miss that shot, that we should not miss fairways,"},{"startTime":258.1,"endTime":260.26,"body":"that we should hit it solid all the time, that it should not"},{"startTime":260.26,"endTime":264.44,"body":"curve that much, that if it goes offline, it shouldn't go offline that"},{"startTime":264.44,"endTime":267.12,"body":"far. But this is the thing you wanna go out and test to"},{"startTime":267.12,"endTime":270.2,"body":"go on the range, see if you hit 10 balls and tried to"},{"startTime":270.2,"endTime":273.56,"body":"hit between two posts about, let's say 30 35 yards apart,"},{"startTime":273.8,"endTime":276.52,"body":"how many can you hit between the posts in a relaxed,"},{"startTime":276.52,"endTime":280.36,"body":"calm environment before you go out on the golf course and we throw"},{"startTime":280.36,"endTime":282.8,"body":"in some water and out of bounds and people."},{"startTime":283.58,"endTime":286.96,"body":"Before you add all that to your brain, which puts a little bit"},{"startTime":286.96,"endTime":290.28,"body":"more pressure or stress on you, which means it makes it harder for"},{"startTime":290.28,"endTime":293.9,"body":"all that talent to come out, if you could actually take out the"},{"startTime":293.9,"endTime":297.2,"body":"exact percentage of shots on your average that you can do on the"},{"startTime":297.2,"endTime":301.54,"body":"range in a calm environment out onto the golf course. That's amazing."},{"startTime":302.02,"endTime":306.44,"body":"You are doing really well. Mentally, you're able to transfer that skill"},{"startTime":306.46,"endTime":309.34,"body":"from the range out to the golf course, but this is what happens,"},{"startTime":309.34,"endTime":311.6,"body":"let's say if you went out on to the range and you hit"},{"startTime":311.74,"endTime":315.08,"body":"50% of those balls in between those two posts, that means that you're"},{"startTime":315.08,"endTime":318.04,"body":"gonna miss about seven fairways, and then when you go out and you"},{"startTime":318.04,"endTime":321.0,"body":"miss a fair way, you tell yourself you shouldn't have done that,"},{"startTime":321.0,"endTime":323.46,"body":"you should have hit it better, you shouldn't have hit it so far"},{"startTime":323.46,"endTime":325.26,"body":"to the right or to the left, or it shouldn't be in the"},{"startTime":325.26,"endTime":328.6,"body":"rough, or shouldn't be in a bunker. But that's not true."},{"startTime":329.74,"endTime":333.72,"body":"That's not reality. Reality is, you're a person who misses 50%"},{"startTime":333.96,"endTime":336.66,"body":"of the fair ways. The other one that shows up is in the"},{"startTime":336.66,"endTime":342.36,"body":"wedges and chipping, so many people have extremely high expectations for"},{"startTime":342.36,"endTime":344.92,"body":"how close they should hit their wedges and how many times they should"},{"startTime":344.93,"endTime":348.24,"body":"wrapping down with their chip shots or even bunker shots, if that's your"},{"startTime":348.24,"endTime":350.62,"body":"thing, some people are like, \"Nope, not the bunker.\""},{"startTime":352.06,"endTime":356.8,"body":"But whatever it is, we have such high expectations from with our wedges"},{"startTime":356.8,"endTime":359.88,"body":"and how close we're supposed to hit it, again, go to the driving"},{"startTime":359.88,"endTime":362.48,"body":"range and can get a green that is the right distance for the"},{"startTime":362.48,"endTime":365.82,"body":"whatever wedge shot you're trying to hit, hit 10 balls. See how close"},{"startTime":365.82,"endTime":368.88,"body":"you hit that ball on average, I get so many clients telling me,"},{"startTime":368.88,"endTime":373.78,"body":"\"I expect to hit all my wedges inside 12 feet, and if I"},{"startTime":373.78,"endTime":377.48,"body":"don't, I get really ticked off.\" That's better than a tour player."},{"startTime":378.26,"endTime":380.46,"body":"So then what happens is then we should ourselves,"},{"startTime":381.18,"endTime":384.58,"body":"I should have done better, I should be better than this,"},{"startTime":384.96,"endTime":388.44,"body":"I shouldn't miss those wedges, when the reality is, is the data that"},{"startTime":388.44,"endTime":391.34,"body":"you collected on the range. That's the person who should show up with"},{"startTime":391.34,"endTime":396.98,"body":"no pressure again with good lies. So we're arguing with reality when we"},{"startTime":396.98,"endTime":401.98,"body":"have higher expectations than what our data is providing us, I always say"},{"startTime":401.98,"endTime":404.28,"body":"that your mental game is the differential between what you can do on"},{"startTime":404.28,"endTime":406.34,"body":"the range and what you can do on the golf course,"},{"startTime":406.48,"endTime":409.04,"body":"for the most part, sometimes there's people who just don't hit it well"},{"startTime":409.04,"endTime":411.6,"body":"on the range, but for the most part, there's more to the mental"},{"startTime":411.6,"endTime":416.34,"body":"game, but we always wanna start there. Another area is in putts, so"},{"startTime":416.34,"endTime":421.98,"body":"many people think they should make more putts than they actually have the"},{"startTime":421.98,"endTime":426.04,"body":"ability to make. Go out to the putting green, test it out,"},{"startTime":426.06,"endTime":430.64,"body":"10 balls from different spots, not the same one, that's advantageous,"},{"startTime":430.64,"endTime":433.12,"body":"you get an idea of how it's breaking and you get into a"},{"startTime":433.12,"endTime":434.8,"body":"little bit of a groove there with your touch."},{"startTime":435.92,"endTime":439.28,"body":"Drop the ball in 10 different spots. How many 12 footers can you"},{"startTime":439.28,"endTime":444.9,"body":"make? Don't guess. I have clients who guess. When I ask this question,"},{"startTime":444.96,"endTime":447.8,"body":"What do you think? \"Well, I think I should probably make like nine,"},{"startTime":448.28,"endTime":451.08,"body":"eight, nine of them.\" \"Oh my goodness, that is so good."},{"startTime":451.42,"endTime":454.7,"body":"That's better than a tour player.\" So the first way that we shut"},{"startTime":454.7,"endTime":458.02,"body":"ourselves is when we think we should be hitting it better"},{"startTime":458.54,"endTime":462.32,"body":"than we actually have the talent level or the data"},{"startTime":462.98,"endTime":467.18,"body":"or the stats for when they don't match up. When we're arguing with"},{"startTime":467.18,"endTime":472.28,"body":"reality, it's so unnecessary to blame yourself and shame yourself for something"},{"startTime":472.28,"endTime":476.4,"body":"that you actually can't even do. It's like being ticked off,"},{"startTime":476.4,"endTime":481.16,"body":"you can't run a four minute mile when you never timed yourself before."},{"startTime":482.16,"endTime":483.34,"body":"You don't even know if you can do it."},{"startTime":484.48,"endTime":487.28,"body":"I definitely can't do it. I am not a runner, this body right"},{"startTime":487.28,"endTime":490.88,"body":"here was not built for running, and it's my joints don't enjoy it,"},{"startTime":490.94,"endTime":494.98,"body":"my legs are too short and squatty. But anyway, I'm gonna make that"},{"startTime":494.98,"endTime":498.46,"body":"analogy nonetheless, so if you were thinking like, \"Yeah, I should run this"},{"startTime":498.46,"endTime":500.58,"body":"in a certain amount of time.\" A mile in a certain amount of"},{"startTime":500.58,"endTime":502.84,"body":"time. But you've never tested yourself. That is kind of like what we're"},{"startTime":502.84,"endTime":505.72,"body":"doing on the golf course. We think we should do things that we"},{"startTime":505.72,"endTime":508.04,"body":"haven't even tested to see if we can possibly do it,"},{"startTime":508.32,"endTime":510.52,"body":"and understanding that it is totally different what you can do on the"},{"startTime":510.52,"endTime":512.64,"body":"range and what you can do on the golf course for the most"},{"startTime":512.64,"endTime":516.24,"body":"part, the other area that we should ourselves is in mental mistakes."},{"startTime":516.76,"endTime":519.94,"body":"I shouldn't have made that mental error, I should have known better about"},{"startTime":519.94,"endTime":521.98,"body":"where to hit it and the club to hit, and I forgot the"},{"startTime":521.98,"endTime":525.46,"body":"wind, and I didn't step away from the ball when I knew I"},{"startTime":525.46,"endTime":530.08,"body":"should have stepped away from the ball, we blame ourselves and shame ourselves"},{"startTime":530.08,"endTime":534.08,"body":"for making mental errors, and this is what I have to tell you,"},{"startTime":534.58,"endTime":537.06,"body":"you are going to make mental errors because you are human."},{"startTime":537.66,"endTime":541.8,"body":"You are going to make mistakes, beating yourself up over making a mental"},{"startTime":541.8,"endTime":544.92,"body":"error serves no purpose. There is no upside to it,"},{"startTime":545.56,"endTime":548.98,"body":"you are going to make mistakes, you're going to make mental mistakes,"},{"startTime":548.98,"endTime":552.56,"body":"calculation mistakes, data collection mistakes on the golf course, you're"},{"startTime":552.56,"endTime":555.92,"body":"gonna mis calculate the wind and you're gonna pick the wrong club that"},{"startTime":555.92,"endTime":560.38,"body":"is part of the game. But blaming yourself for making a mental error, there's"},{"startTime":560.38,"endTime":564.04,"body":"zero upside to it, you're blaming yourself or being a human."},{"startTime":564.22,"endTime":567.2,"body":"The other area where we blame ourselves or should ourselves is that we"},{"startTime":567.2,"endTime":570.16,"body":"should have scored better, we should be scoring better, we should be a"},{"startTime":570.16,"endTime":574.04,"body":"better player than we are right now, and basically what you're saying to"},{"startTime":574.04,"endTime":577.14,"body":"yourself is that I should be someone different than I am."},{"startTime":577.18,"endTime":581.64,"body":"Again, you're arguing with reality, you are a person who is shooting the"},{"startTime":581.64,"endTime":583.6,"body":"score, how do we know because you did."},{"startTime":584.36,"endTime":587.86,"body":"That is the reality of the situation, so we can't argue with it,"},{"startTime":587.86,"endTime":592.68,"body":"and when you blame yourself or shame yourself because of who you are,"},{"startTime":592.86,"endTime":598.18,"body":"it feels horrible and you shut out the opportunities to pause and learn,"},{"startTime":598.32,"endTime":602.04,"body":"because in any given situation, it is an opportunity for you to learn"},{"startTime":602.04,"endTime":604.68,"body":"and grow, but when you shame yourself, you shut that down,"},{"startTime":605.18,"endTime":608.2,"body":"you just beat yourself up when you can have your own back and"},{"startTime":608.2,"endTime":610.22,"body":"understand that you're doing the best that you can."},{"startTime":610.84,"endTime":614.18,"body":"That you're learning and you're growing. And taking a look at what can"},{"startTime":614.18,"endTime":618.36,"body":"I improve on? Instead of stepping into that role of just blaming yourself"},{"startTime":618.38,"endTime":623.62,"body":"and shoulding all over yourself, then you have opened the door for you"},{"startTime":623.62,"endTime":628.74,"body":"being able to grow and learn and improve, the more often that you"},{"startTime":628.8,"endTime":632.12,"body":"say you should be different than you are, you should be hitting different"},{"startTime":632.12,"endTime":636.02,"body":"shots and you are or you shouldn't make mental mistakes, you shut down"},{"startTime":636.02,"endTime":639.16,"body":"your growth, so what I want you to do is really start paying"},{"startTime":639.16,"endTime":643.12,"body":"attention to all the times you should all over yourself. How many times"},{"startTime":643.12,"endTime":646.3,"body":"do you should yourself on and off the golf course? My friends,"},{"startTime":646.44,"endTime":648.84,"body":"it's one of those things we wanna almost go on a should diet,"},{"startTime":648.84,"endTime":652.56,"body":"just really tune in to every time you hear yourself saying it,"},{"startTime":652.92,"endTime":656.14,"body":"or let me offer this to you too, How many times you say"},{"startTime":656.18,"endTime":660.4,"body":"about other people, because basically what you're doing too is you're shaming"},{"startTime":660.4,"endTime":663.78,"body":"or blaming them as well, and that doesn't feel good either."},{"startTime":663.848,"endTime":666.28,"body":"It doesn't feel good for you, it doesn't feel for the other person"},{"startTime":666.28,"endTime":668.5,"body":"receiving it. For instance, if you had a partner"},{"startTime":669.62,"endTime":672.44,"body":"and you were playing golf and they missed a putt and you said,"},{"startTime":672.44,"endTime":674.6,"body":"\"You know you should have made that putt.\" Now, would you do that?"},{"startTime":674.61,"endTime":679.22,"body":"I hope you say, no. Right. In your mind, you might have said"},{"startTime":679.22,"endTime":682.78,"body":"it like, \"Oh, that was a make able putt,\" but they are human,"},{"startTime":683.12,"endTime":686.46,"body":"you have a spouse who didn't take out the garbage and you say,"},{"startTime":686.46,"endTime":689.8,"body":"\"You should have taken out the garbage,\" you are blaming them"},{"startTime":690.66,"endTime":693.48,"body":"because they could have and they didn't. It doesn't feel good for the"},{"startTime":693.48,"endTime":696.56,"body":"receiver of that, it doesn't feel good for you, so catch the number"},{"startTime":696.56,"endTime":699.84,"body":"of times that you say should, whether it's about you, yourself,"},{"startTime":700.18,"endTime":703.6,"body":"your talent, your score, the shots, your mental errors or anything that"},{"startTime":703.6,"endTime":706.34,"body":"you're doing off the golf course, and check in and see how many"},{"startTime":706.34,"endTime":709.88,"body":"times you're shoulding other people in your life and let's go on a"},{"startTime":710.02,"endTime":713.58,"body":"should diet. So that for you to play better, and going back to"},{"startTime":713.58,"endTime":717.56,"body":"the title of this podcast, what you should do to play better is start"},{"startTime":717.56,"endTime":722.72,"body":"eliminating the word from your vocabulary on the golf course, have your"},{"startTime":722.72,"endTime":726.98,"body":"own back and quit arguing with reality, and the more that you do"},{"startTime":726.98,"endTime":729.84,"body":"that, the more you open yourself up for more growth so that you"},{"startTime":729.84,"endTime":732.9,"body":"can take your game up to the next level, besides feeling a little"},{"startTime":732.9,"endTime":735.48,"body":"bit better about that around when you finish. Alright, my friends,"},{"startTime":735.58,"endTime":737.44,"body":"have an amazing week and I'll talk to you next time."},{"startTime":737.88,"endTime":740.96,"body":"And remember, my friends, if you need a little extra help sorting out"},{"startTime":740.96,"endTime":743.5,"body":"your thoughts and your emotions so that you can take more of your"},{"startTime":743.5,"endTime":747.34,"body":"talent onto the golf course or just have some peace around the game,"},{"startTime":747.6,"endTime":750.94,"body":"it really helps to have someone to help you look at your thoughts"},{"startTime":750.94,"endTime":754.12,"body":"and emotions. It's the fastest way to get better, and I'm happy to"},{"startTime":754.12,"endTime":760.01,"body":"chat with you and you can find the link at KathyHartWood.com/chat. Alright,"},{"startTime":760.02,"endTime":760.232,"body":"have a beautiful day."}]}