Meet Larry & Gayle a couple newly in love, courageously lived life until Gayle's cancer returned

126 Days, 11 mins, is Larry's latest book and his legacy to Gayle.  It's their love story of how they met, each in their mid-60's.  It's a story about trusting life and be willing to walk the cancer journey with another.  Larry shares openly about his love and respect for Gayle who loved life, she was an artist, loved nature and found joy and pleasure in the Argentine Tango.

It's about saying Yes to the heart when logic is saying No but going ahead anyway, knowing it was meant to be.

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Transcript

Anne DeButte: 0:08

Hello, and welcome listeners to another episode in the Let's Talk bout Grief Podcast. I'm your host, your grief and loss coach and author of Grief Abyss Finding Your Pathway to Peace. Today I'll be speaking to our guests, Larry Indiviglia as he has experienced and knows what it's like to have the love of your life die. Your partner Gayle and in her honor, you've written a book titled 126 days, 11 minutes, our love story. We'll hear more of that in a moment. I'd just like to share a wee bit about who Larry is. He's a retired Naval Reserve Officer, he holds an MA in corporate fitness administration, is an author and business life coach. Welcome, Larry.

Larry Indiviglia: 1:00

Anne, it is a pleasure to be here. I want to commend you on all the fine work you're doing to serve people in need. Each one of your episodes that I've listened to a few of them are learning and teaching moments all so thank you.

Anne DeButte: 1:14

Oh, thank you for saying so. And I appreciate you were listening to them that makes my heart sing. I would love it if you could share your private world of fun frohlich commitment and compassion that you describe is in your book, what that was for you and Gail.

Larry Indiviglia: 1:36

Absolutely, I'd be happy to and you know, in life, connections are always for a reason I believe none are random. And they all have a meeting, some lasts a long time, some last only a short period for me and Gayle. It was 126 days, 11 minutes, and it was our love story. We decided both of us to love again. I had been divorced nine years. Gayle had not had a relationships for five and a half years. So what did we do? We went online two actively, aging seniors, in our 60s. Gayle was 68. Larry was 64. At the time we met last January of 2020. Back there on January 6, we were captivated by each other on the first phone call. We had viewed each other online and then that led to a phone call. And was a very captivating call. It was inquisitive, it was funny, it was serious and it was endearing. It was also enlightening in a sense that Gayle told me up front that she had been battling stage four breast cancer for over four years. And she had had a single mastectomy. She was very, very honest, very, very forthright with this information on the phone. And I was captivated even more by her story and really wanted to meet her in person. So we did the next night we got together for dinner. And I talked about this the book some of the nuances and the dynamics of that and there was some humor involved. If anything after that first dinner together, we fell in love with each other and really wanted to pursue a relationship. I was very, very, I'll use the word captivated again by Gayle's courage. by her honesty, by her beauty. She was a beautiful woman. Cancer had taken some of her beauty away because she had had radiation, multiple surgeries, chemo everything else. But boy to have somebody make a choice to embrace life and love, even with this battle that she was undergoing, was quite quite inspiring to me. So we set out living in the today, not in the yesterday's or the tomorrow's. And we had an honest, passionate, mental and physical and emotional and spiritual relationships over a period of 126 days. I share in the book about 63 days of it almost exactly. Gayle was relatively healthy. She had decided to go the alternative treatment routes, no more chemo, no more radiation to beat the cancer and she was active. She was an Argentine Tango dancer. she embraced life. She was doing a lot of things and we enjoyed life together for those for those nine weeks. And then sadly the cancer came back it had metastasized to her brain. And then it got to the point where we had to get back into the hospital and ultimately Gayle's journey. Her last stage was at an end of life patient hospice here in San Diego, Parkview Hospice Home. You get the gist of our fun, frolic and adventure, and a lot of humor of what we did together, and how a man and how a woman related respectfully, in the book and it moves very fast. There's a lot of lot of neat stories and things. Then it turns when Gayle's cancer comes back with a vengeance, and then how our relationship had to continue on, and how I became her healthcare advocate. And, you know, her transitions and the dynamics around it. So it's 126 days and 11 minutes, you'll get a full range of emotion. But you will get many life lessons, many love lessons. And there's something in there for everybody in the book in the story. And mostly, it's about how Gayle's choice to embrace life and love to the end, made this all possible. I mean, that's kind of a overall summary and of what the book is about what I went through and what we both went through.

Anne DeButte: 6:18

Yeah, it sounds like it. I wanted to start the conversation off there, Larry, because having met online, I was curious to know when Gayle shared with you that she had stage four breast cancer. and you mentioned that she was very forthright and upfront and shared with you from the beginning. You've walked the cancer journey yourself so know what its like.

Larry Indiviglia: 6:50

Yeah.

Anne DeButte: 6:50

I can't help but think how many people wouldn't even have pursued that relationship, knowing what was in front of them. I've heard of a number of people who have divorced over knowing that the spouse has a terminal illness. And I cannot imagine what that is even like, so to put yourself in that position. right up front and knowing. What was going through your mind?

Larry Indiviglia: 7:28

Yeah, it's an insightful question. And when I was on the phone, you know, when she told me we were trading various stories and information, of where we grew up, where we went to school, the normal things, and a little bit about past relationships. And then, you know, she did share, as I shared here a couple of minutes ago that, you know, she said, Larry, I, you know, I have to tell you, upfront, I am battling stage four cancer, I've had multiple surgeries, and you know, went into some detail. She said, however, I'm on an alternate treatment plan, I really feel I'm very, very hopeful. She said that the worst is behind me with this. And I'm really choosing to live each day, not so much as if it was my last but she had a very strong sense of hope. There was a strength about her on the phone. She had a gentleness that I just found, I needed to know more about her. And I felt, you know, my particular faith, I feel God has a plan for our life. And God put Gayle in front of me for a very powerful, strong reason. I didn't know it at the time, but I just sensed it. I just sensed it and said, You know, I have to find out more about Gayle. And I have to learn more from her. Because I think this is a profound experience. This is a moment in my life, that I have to take the next step. Rather than walk away, I have to take the next step. And also, I think you bring up a great point and is that society puts norms and sometimes standards, like Larry, that's not really what you're looking for, don't get involved, you're just gonna get hurt. Sometimes to not worry about what society says and then you go for it. I felt that the personal work I have done, and I think this is a great lesson. From my, my own cancer experience, partially but then other losses and other things that went on in my journey permitted me to have some real empathy for for Gayle. Not from like she's a victim and I feel sorry for and you know, I'm going to hold her hand and because she didn't want any of that, but I felt it was a powerful step. In my next step of my journey, wherever it was going to lead, and we never thought, I never thought that Gayle was going to die after four months. So I looked at it as we're going to embellish each day. And we're just going to go down this road together. And I don't want to say cancer be damned, but sometimes, you'll get into that. You'll feel that in the book, but it's kind of like, you know, you just put it behind you or in the background and keep going. But that takes courage. She showed courage. Perhaps you could say, I showed courage sticking with her. I felt was profound connection with a bigger, bigger meaning for my life and the benefits that I have been privileged to gain and glean from Gayle. Rather than what she, she really obtained from me, which was love and support, you know, through her last period of life.

Anne DeButte: 11:00

So you walked the journey, you were able to have that strength, would you say? Resilience to be able to be a companion, not see her as a victim. But as you've described, as somebody who was ready to embrace life, whatever that meant,

Larry Indiviglia: 11:19

Yeah, and you know, it's in life Anne, I think you could relate and many of your listeners can, sometimes there's a moment in your journey that comes up can be relationships, it can be an opportunity, whatever it happens to be, and you have the presence of mind to pause and say, there's a deeper meaning here. Okay, there's something thats deeper about this, that I know I must explore. And in life, you know, it's easier, right? Not to, it's easier not to, but nothing profound, and deep and meaningful happens easy. And it doesn't have to be a struggle, it doesn't have to be arduous, it doesn't have to be a grind, it hasn't have to be doesn't have to be terrible or traumatic. But it does take the ability to go deeper. When somebody is also going deeper in their journey, because it's a life and death, it's life threatening. In particular, I will add this, I think, the 126 days, 11 minutes, our love story, it is uplifting, it is inspiring. The lessons from it, though it doesn't necessarily have to be Anne a life and death experience. You could say society be damned, and decide to do something, because you feel a deep meaningful purpose in it. It doesn't have to involve cancer or a terminal disease it can and in my case and Gayle's case it did in order to experience something and to grow. And to get to a place perhaps you would not, and you know this in your journey to, and your background. The last stage of life, regrets not having done something, right, I wish I would have done that. I wish I you know, the regret of not having pursued something in life. And now perhaps it's too late if somebody's on their last transitional bed. So I didn't ever want to look back and say, Well, you know what, now that would have been, but sometimes you don't have it all in front of you that way. You're not processing it as an end. But as a means as you're going through it.

Anne DeButte: 13:44

I would imagine writing the book has given you that perspective as you say, as you're going through it, you don't always understand. So having been able to write it down and go through your journey, you probably do see it from a different perspective.

Larry Indiviglia: 14:01

I do Anne, and that's a great point. I'm actually seeing it differently now than I did when I was writing the book. You know, it was interesting. I knew Gayle four months, I started writing the book, it was almost like the perfect storm. I had journal notes, voicemails, texts, etc. I keep close journals. Detailed journals, it was fresh in my mind, it was a kind of a cathartic experience writing it. Also I had profound lessons from Gayle. From my experience and relationship I felt I needed to share with the world because they're meaningful and they can help people just like your show and all the work you're doing is helping people. And then finally, in a strange twist of fate was COVID. COVID restricted our ability socially, personal life and professional life. I had more time to write and dedicated to writing. And I felt during those four months, I started writing about a week after Gayle transitioned. If I hadn't used those six, seven weeks, I'm not sure if I would have wrote it, because I look back on it differently today, which is exactly a year ago, Anne, it was day 98 out of 126. I'll look at the book as I'm going through it, you know, and it almost seems surreal now that it was such a condensed and short period of time. But that's kind of the reasons I wrote the book to honor Gayle on her life. Because there's so many out there, that after a cancer diagnosis, you can become a number. People don't know how to talk to you, people learn how to relate to you. They don't know what to say to you. They said, well, you know, there's that concept of duality. You can have struggle yet you can have joy each day, you could be challenged yet at the same time, find room for pleasure. And for joy, you know that that was kind of one of the lessons. Yeah, the writing was cathartic and the writing when you look back at any work in life, you have those energy shifts, and you feel like you must do something. And sometimes you have to go with that feeling Anne, Right?

Anne DeButte: 16:18

Absolutely. So it was a way of you processing and helping your emotions by the sounds of it. Yes. COVID has given a lot of people a lot of time to think. And I found that for many, they are just beginning to process their feelings and emotions. For losses that have happened years ago. By being able to write your book during that time, I can only imagine allowed you time to process your emotions as you were writing it.

Larry Indiviglia: 16:54

It did and and you know, there was another aspect of this that you bring up COVID which was perhaps the book would have took a different form. But it was this, Gayle was in an inpatient hospice home, four bed hospice home. I readily say the name because they were so so good, Sharp Hospice Foundation, operates three hospice homes in San Diego and Gayle died and transitioned at the Parkview home. Its a four bed facility and because of COVID, she entered their late March, we had been shut down from COVID, March 16. I had to check in, they didn't permit many visitors. Only immediate family and immediate caregiver which I was. And when you went into the house, you could only go to your loved ones room, there was common areas with TV and a kitchen you know, but all that was off limits because of COVID. So I had to be I was the primary person there every day, I couldn't leave a room other than to use the restroom, I had to be even more present than I would have been. And also because of Gayle's condition, her brain cancer at some point, she couldn't talk she couldn't process the hearing isn't great, you know, her mind was, so she couldn't talk to her friends. She couldn't operate her phone anymore. So I kind of became her connection to the world. But it also gave me time to be more present. What can I do on a daily basis to help Gayle and also myself to get through it. I also took more journal notes because of it. And I do believe during Gayle's 44 days in that inpatient hospice, I found inspiration in doing things for her that if she had unlimited visitors unlimited phone calls, you know, it might have been totally different. So COVID in a strange way made it possible for me to be even closer to Gayle during that period Anne, and I do think that helped me in a strange way. Like I said, write the book.

Anne DeButte: 19:16

Because you didn't have the distractions of visitors coming in. You had more of her?

Larry Indiviglia: 19:23

Yep. I did.

Anne DeButte: 19:26

And they say it can actually help you process your grief when you help another, which is what exactly you did.

Larry Indiviglia: 19:35

I found, Anne, to and I talked about it in the book as this was very important. Gayle, she was 68, she was a photographer of note. Loved the Argentine Tango, was a great Argentine Tango dancer, loved exercising, also took ballet, loved nature and hiking. She kept her immune system as high as she could to keep the cancer from spreading. She was on a very strict diet, I talk about this in the book and other things she did. And it was very, very tough for her, you know, to be relegated to a bed, to be bed ridden to the end. Anne, you know, so I do think that it was a challenge for her to find

Anne DeButte: 20:14

I think that must bring you a lot of comfort to peace. She didn't want to transition, really, she was struggling. At some point, in that cancer journey, though, and specifically with cancer, it's there's pain and there's fear. Yet, somehow the cancer patients find hope, maybe through their faith, that gives them a resolve and strength. And then ultimately, and hopefully they find peace. Gayle told me me, I was trying to help her find peace, she said, Larry, you can't provide peace for me. But what I was able to do, and I talked about it in the book about how some people who came into my life at a couple different instances, is I had to find my own peace. If I did that, then I would bring in a more peaceful present to Gayle. And that would at least indirectly, or perhaps you could say directly help her find her peace. It wasn't anything I was going to say, or do or provide that was going to magically Gayle finds peace accepts everything that's going on and transitions. It just didn't work that way with her. But ultimately, Anne I will say, I think she did find her peace on her final transition day. I do. you. And I think that's beautiful that you discovered that by finding your own peace, you were able to sort of bring that energy into the room. And it sounds as if you've noticed her relaxing a little more.

Larry Indiviglia: 22:09

I did, and I had some help. And the staff at the hospice home was reduced because of COVID. However, the musical therapist was one that they kept there. And during Gayle's 44 days, there was three adjacent rooms. And they Gayle was probably the youngest patient at the time we were there. There was a lot of people Anne, and to your listeners that transition, okay. Some people were older, maybe they're there for two or only three days, maybe a week, I never got a chance to know them or their family members. I always remember the musical therapists you would hear this voice and this guitar playing and this soothing song she would sing, you know, for the person who's transitioning. And the musical director, her name was D in the book that wasn't her real name. She played and I tell this story she came in and played for Gayle one day, "You've Got a Friend" Yeah. And the staff there was just so very attentive, that they helped Gayle as well. I wasn't there 24 hours, I wasn't there most nights, you know, between 11pm and 7am the staff were so so I had some help. I did.

Anne DeButte: 23:26

Excellent. Good to know you had your own support. What would you say was your most challenging moments throughout this journey that you and Gayle had?

Larry Indiviglia: 23:38

Ah, in hospice when the brain cancer was getting worse , you could have mood shifts. And I shared an instance in the book where she tried to get out of her bed and she just started saying you're complicit with these people, the deal was I was gonna move into your place. And it was almost like she didn't understand she was sick, is what are you imprisoning me in here for, you're complicit with all these people, I want you out of my room. I don't want to see you anymore. That was a challenging day. That was a challenging day, Anne. Fortunately, that was only temporary, because I remember I went home that night. I went, Oh my god, like is her brain shifting now? Where this is going to be her attitude the rest of the time there. Fortunately, it was not. That was a challenging day. Yeah, it really was. I think the the other biggest challenge was during the whole time. And maybe because when you get so caught up in the moment, you just do things you find that you're so focused and what needs to be done. Is the pain medication adequate, which it always was, by the way, Gayle did not die inphysical pain we made sure of that thank God, she had been through enough.

Anne DeButte: 25:02

Yeah,

Larry Indiviglia: 25:03

But challenge is, you want to say things to the person almost, I don't want to say, selfishly, you want to say to the person how much she meant to me, yet, she might not be ready to do the same. And sometimes I would catch myself wanting to do more wanting to say more and I felt some times Anne, it was from a selfish reason this was for me and hopefully would make her feel better. But then there was a period where I said, well, maybe she's not ready to respond in kind. Maybe she's no longer say those things to me, because of her brain chemistry changing now. I was almost felt that, in some ways, some of the things I did were self serving, even though I didn't mean it to be. But I found that to be a challenge, because Gayle, and she, she would tell me things up to a certain period of time. But she was in that last stage of her life and with her brain being challenged as well, It was not like talking to somebody who was whole, you know, she just was dealing with a lot of things. And unless we are in that seat, you never really know. Okay, you never really know. So those were the two things I can remember that at some point, just the sadness of Wow, this is gonna end here. And you know, this is her her last stop. So yeah.

Anne DeButte: 26:44

What would you have liked to have said to her? What were you holding back?

Larry Indiviglia: 26:50

You know, I didn't, I held back for a long time. And then the last night, her last full day with us. She died 11 minutes into the 127th day, if you will, hence 11 minutes. That's as long as that day last that she died at

12: 27:13

11am. The night prior, I did read her love letter, which I saved. I did not share that in the book. So it's very personal.

Anne DeButte: 27:22

Yeah.

Larry Indiviglia: 27:23

And I did read that to her slowly and with intention. At that time, I wasn't sure what her hearing was where it was at. She could no longer talk or see, but I read it certainly anyway. And I think with that share, I was able to tell her, you know what I really felt and, and that I would see her again, at some point in time, you know, in my journey when my earthly journeys is complete, so I was able to do that. Anne, I was able to.

Anne DeButte: 27:58

Oh how beautiful.

Larry Indiviglia: 28:00

Yeah,

Anne DeButte: 28:01

I asked that question because I believe its those moments, or the person who is transitioning, is holding back what they're feeling to protect the person and you're doing the same. And I sometimes wonder what it would feel like or be like, if you could just be yourselves and both so that there's no filters, the guards are down, the masks are off. And you can have that heart to heart. So I think that was a beautiful way of you allowing your feelings in a letter and to be able to be read to her because I'm pretty certain she probably heard and felt it all.

Larry Indiviglia: 28:52

I feel she did. And I also related very much to one of your your guests on one of your wonderful episodes. About how when a person transition their former pets, former loved ones, former family members reemerge, okay, as their transitioning. That last, you know, one of those final stages. And I believe it, I only knew Gayle four months and she knew a lot of other people in her life. She had been married three times. She had had a couple of pets. Okay, she had lost her father, she had lost a younger brother. So they were other spirits that were going to embrace her on that last part of transition. I happened to be there. I'm not divulging anything that's in the book. There is as some people may as they read the book, may envision it's going to end in a certain way. But I'll describe in some case when I read her the love letter and having a little bit of a larger picture as to maybe how she was transitioning, that that was my place. That was my, my role in Gayle's life. Okay, and then there was others that were going to come in and embrace her as she made that final transition. So I felt, I accompanied her at a very important stage to a point. And I do agree with you, I think she did hear what I did read her. I do. And then it was time for her journey, and her spirit to move on and, for me to stay here.

Anne DeButte: 30:39

Yeah, How beautiful. Tell us about the Argentine Tango.

Larry Indiviglia: 30:44

The Argentine Tango, you know, it's interesting there was two, there was Gayle's life and there was two I'll say sub stories, if you will, or two elements or aspects of her life that were hugely impactful. One was cancer. I mean, let's call it for what it is. Okay. She was diagnosed in 2015, with a very aggressive stage for breast cancer, and between October 2015, and May 2020, she gave it all she had and to stay with us and to battle it. That's one aspect that really took a hold of her life. And then there was the tango in one of Gayle's professional photographs, called Malanga number one. A Malanga is a social gathering of Argentine Tango dancers. Argentine Tango is different than ballroom Tango, okay, it's a different type of dance. And I took this color frame photo that she had gifted me and I put it in her room, so she could always see that image of Tango every day. And I wanted that spirit of Tango to be in the room. I did some other things in relationship to tango when she was in hospice. But I am not a tango dancer, okay, and Argentine Tango. She had been doing it for 12 years, especially the male. The man in the Argentine Tango lead, the woman responds to his leads doesn't aimless me follow, because these creativity in the dance, a strong male lead inspires a woman to respond creatively. That's why if you go to Argentine Tango, Malanga and she invited me to one, I hear her the book. Yeah, I saw her dancing with various men. And I was really trying to figure out like the steps and like, okay, but it's not that kind of a dance, Gayle was comfortable and having the man lead. And she respond, as she felt creatively and how she was inspired to respond. She took that to her relationships, at least she did with me. And she was comfortable and let me lead and she would respond to that lead, obviously, as long as it's respectful, which it was, and loving which it was. So, Tango kept her alive. Gayle stayed in touch with Tango, and went to her Malangas as much as she possibly could, through her cancer diagnosis, and through her treatment. And that was tough because she had had two surgeries, Gayle's cancer, breast mastectomy, moved to her lungs, chemo, moved to her bones, two surgeries in the neck, and moved to her brain, had radiation. And she was a survivor and a warrior. And she wanted to live and Tango helped her live. Ultimately, a part of that picture became the cover of the book. That is Gail's professional photographs were part of it, which became the cover the book. And that's where Tango was and I talked about it in the book, I talked about what Gayle shared in the book about it. And it was something that was very near and dear to her heart. And she photographed Tango dancers as well as professional photographers. So she had a real connection to it.

Anne DeButte: 34:15

Sounds like it. I was curious to know if that became part of your time together. Your courtship I guess, you would like to use that word. Yeah.

Larry Indiviglia: 34:26

Our courtship was like an Argentinian tango. A And you know, she told me she goes, Larry, if good one I might add. you're open to it. I said, well, could you you teach me? She goes, Oh, no, I don't teach. She said you have to go to the lessons to learn. She said I have a lot of friends, you know who you could do that with if you're open to it? And we never got to that stage of the relationship and I believe I would have Okay, being honest. I do. I believe I would have but it was overcome events after you know, eight or nine weeks.

Anne DeButte: 35:00

It sounds like the two of you went through quite the ordeal in quite the journey. But you've also got some poignant tender moments that you can hear the love, and the respect and the passion coming from your voice, which I find so inspiring. But to have gone through that journey, and to be able to talk and feel the way you do, gives others the courage to be able to do the same. Now Gayle asked you to do something before she transitioned.

Larry Indiviglia: 35:40

Yeah, she did. She she, you know, it's interesting. Gayle followed the movies and music. And she was a very culturally aware person, very artistic person, certainly through her photography. And she was very mystical, she was into astrology, and into nature. She, she really felt the universe, you know, she was, she was a player in this universe. And she just loved being connected to it, through pets, through the moon, through sand between your toes through nature and hiking, she just was, you know, felt that she had to be a good, that just sounds strange, in a way, a good citizen of nature, you know, to really embellish it and appreciate it. And when she was in hospice, at some point, it was the movie A Stars is Born , nd is that closing song I wi l not love again, I think that s the name of the song. And you know, she heard it and she said, Larry, you know, I want ou to love again, I don't want ou to mope around. She said, ou're still too young to do th t. We have not known each othe long enough. And you know tha that was actually one f the motivations and why we d cided that an inpatient hospic home was going to be her las stop, her transition place is ecause she wanted me to retain ertain aspects of my life that didn't include her, because s e just felt we just didn't hav a lot of time together. And she didn't want my life to be ov rcome, either with grief, or just a perpetual mourning f r her. Where I needed to move on, because she felt

Anne DeButte: 37:29

Yeah, there's life in the womb, there's earthly life and then there's the next transition, higher level of consciousness. So she wanted me to continue to embellish my earthly journey. And at some point, I'll see her again in the future on that next level of consciousness, hopefully, as long as I live my life in a meaningful and purposeful way. So she did say, do love again. And, and I listened to that, and I have. Yeah, that's beautiful. What a lovely, selfless gift that she gave you to be able to retain your own life and her not wanting her life to overwhelm or overtake who you need to be to continue. And I love your philosophy, that you are going to meet again, and hopefully it will be to Tango.

Larry Indiviglia: 38:30

Yeah,

Anne DeButte: 38:31

Whatever brings you together. For any men and women, obviously, deal with death and loss differently. For any males listening to this, what words of comfort or wisdom, can you share with them?

Larry Indiviglia: 38:53

I think a few a few things. Number one, it's never too late to fall in love. Okay, so remember that. And sometimes there's deeper purposes for that connection, but it's never too late to fall in love. So be open to open to that. Love yourself unconditionally first. So you could then love somebody else unconditionally, however long that may be. And I think if you do the personal work as a man, and as a woman, for that matter, then you can love yourself. You can love another unconditionally without expectations or conditions, or rules. And I think that's powerful. The other thing is, always stand in your truth. I learned from Gayle that know what your core values are, what's important and stay truthful to those because to the end, I remember after we got the final diagnosis of the brain tumors, we were in that hospital. And she she outlined her life and for things she said I was a lover a dancer, I took pictures and I fiercely protected and nourished my friendships with my many friends. And she summarized her life. And you know, those four short statements perhaps understated, okay. But getting back to her truth that who she was not who she was not. Yeah. And I think that when you see somebody that you can connect with as a man to a woman, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, that's powerful to do on all of those four levels, not easily created, not easily done, I might add, yeah, but when you do achieve it, it is special. And I did with Gayle.

Anne DeButte: 40:48

Sounds wonderful. Thank you, Larry, for for openly discussing what must be a very tender moment sharing you and Gayle's story with our listeners, and I really appreciate your honesty, and staying true to your truth by the sounds of it. So thank you.

Larry Indiviglia: 41:13

Anne, you're very welcome. And vulnerability is a strength. You know, it's not it's not a weakness. And I think that on just on the fine work that you're doing with the many episodes you've had, and the many guests you've had. People have that ability to share and be vulnerable and when you can do that, that's when special things happen in your life. I do believe that.

Anne DeButte: 41:37

Yeah. And people underestimate for sure allowing yourself to be vulnerable is certainly a strength. If people are interested in your book, where can they get it? And I believe you mentioned it was coming out as an audio book

Larry Indiviglia: 41:54

It is thanks for asking, and honored and 126 also? days, 11 minutes, our love story is available on Amazon books, Kindle version or paperback. Okay, immediately. The audio version, which will be available through Amazon's audible channel, audible division, shoul be out any day. Now. When I sa any day, I'm waiting for th email to come through like you book is live. Because, you know Amazon is big a company as the are and as efficient as they ar in a lot of ways. COVID h s affected certain operations f every phase of business, and e know that so but any day now t will be out. And then you'll e able, if you absorb boo s through audio content, you'll e able to do that. And certain y immediately through the writt n form on Amazon books. Ye

Anne DeButte: 42:45

Okay. Well, thank you very much, Larry, for joining and sharing you and Gayle's, your love story. It's tender and beautiful. And I encourage the readers, if they want to know a little bit more to certainly purchase the book. Well, listeners, that's a wrap, as I like to say, and I want to thank you for being with us on yet another journey into talking about grief and the challenges that can lend to us as we find our own ways to navigate. And I hope that you find inspiration in hearing some of the ways our guests on the show, have been able to find their life after loss. And if anybody is struggling, please, you don't have to do this alone. Contact me. I can help or I can put you in touch with support groups or therapists that can help you as well. Until next time, listeners. Bye bye for now.