Israel & Rachel Campbell " SOUP" Podcast Episode 32 "You get it from your Momma"

Israel & Rachel Campbell " SOUP" Podcast Episode 32 "You get it from your Momma"
In this podcast, Israel & Rachel discuss the characteristics and values they admire in their mothers and how these qualities have influenced their own lives. They emphasize the importance of embracing generational change and breaking negative patterns. They mention how their mothers exemplified traits like dancing in the rain, trusting God in difficult situations, contentment, pioneering spirit, and inner beauty.  Overall, Israel & Rachel encourage listeners to embrace positive principles and values that can help shape their family dynamics.

Transcript

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(upbeat music)- All right, Rachel, we're back.- We are back and having an awesome time talking about amazing things today. I'm excited about this one.- I am very excited about it. I think our pre-rambled the last time we started a record was pretty long. Head so--- No rambling.- No, no, it's good. I just, we want to welcome you to the Israel and Rachel Campbell Soup podcast and the Soup being we talk about everything from discipleship, family, ministry, life. I did mention, I don't think we've ever done like art and culture and I think that maybe we need to get cultured so that we could talk about these things.- We have to have like a special guest.- I don't know how cultured we are.- Definitely special guests.- Unless you guys want it to be funny, then we can be cultured.- We could try to tell you--- We could talk about fancy cheese and artwork.- Yes, all the stuff you remember.- All the things we do on our off time.- Do you remember our first artwork when we first got married was like a Monet calendar that we took the pictures out of the calendar and then hung up?- If you are a newlywed and you need to make money stretch, how creative was that? We had like a whole house filled with Monet pictures framed that were from, it was 12. We actually had 12 of them.- We had December through January. Yep, so.- Yeah, we are so art. We're so cultured.- Well, we are creative.- Yes, we are.- I don't know about culture.- Today, last week was Mother's Day. And so we, what a very special Mother's Day it was. And we just kind of wanted to piggyback on that and just kind of talk about, of course, our Mother's played such a significant role in our life. And I think there's some pretty amazing quotes out there. You can Google, but like even Abraham Lincoln talks a little bit about his mom. I think Henry Ford talks about the value of his mom. And then of course you and I have been very molded by our moms.- Yeah, yeah. And I loved Israel talked on Sunday about, was it five women in the Bible that he was just saying,"We need to have a spirit like them." And just because their feminine doesn't mean that all of us can't learn further. And today we're gonna talk about motherhood and things that we got from our moms. Because I kind of feel like both you and I, we are products of good moms.- Absolutely. And I think that that's such a good reminder is, yes, we're talking about some motherhood things today, but guys don't check out.- Yeah.- And be like, "This is not for me."This is too feminine for me." Because sometimes men, maybe we weren't raised with a good mom or woman. And then it's also, this is a good thing to be like, you know, in the dating scene, especially LA, I can't, oh man, I cannot even imagine. But these might be some things that you look for.- Right.- Or even get glimpses of, because it doesn't necessarily mean they have to be fully walking in it now. But if they don't have some of these characteristics, it's gonna be tough. And I think because of society, the shifting in some things, it's tough to find sometimes these healthy women. Because if you have a, we're gonna talk about healthy traits, but man, there's some bad traits out there that mothers can, that can wreck your kids for quite a while.- Yeah, I think that what we wanna talk about today is, it doesn't matter who you are, whether you're male or female, you're surrounded by women. And so, you know, as Christians, you know, when we treat each other as brother and sister in Christ, it's really important to champion the right things. And then also, like Israel said, if you're dating and you're looking for a wife that's gonna be the mother of your children, there's some things that should be red flags, and there's some things that should be green lights. And I think that society right now has the green lights for the wrong things that are going to be hot messes down the road. And I think that sometimes they overlook the things that are the most important, that are going to cause you to have this marriage and a wife that becomes a mom that is like, she outlasts the tests of time. And so, there are some like real characteristics. And like Israel said, if you didn't have a great mom, you know, now's your moment to interrupt bad patterns. And maybe you've never had modeled for you. I think my mom was the greatest gift to my life because all of the training I needed to do what I'm called to do today, she taught me just by living it in front of me. She didn't give me a little workbook of how to be a woman that stands in faith or a woman that puts her family first. But she lived it. And I saw the benefits and fruit of it. And I want what she had. She's in heaven now. But I just think about that. And you're the same with your mom, aren't you?- Yeah. And I think that we loved that scripture verse where Paul talks to Timothy and he says,"Hey, you're the son of the faith." But I realized that this comes not just from your mom, Eunice, but was actually in your grandmother, Lois. And so there's a generational blessing that you can begin to really make an impact. So some of those shifts for Lois being a first generation Christian. I mean, she would have, because of the history of this, she would have had to have been a disciple of Jesus to then be Timothy's grandmother. Do you know what I mean? And so it's like she was there, first generation. And of course, that was sticky, that was weird. That wasn't perfect. She wasn't a perfect Christian'cause it was like, they were still trying to figure out things. Like they were still dealing with discrimination. They were still dealing with, do we do the law? Do we not do the law? But she did something shifted a change. And then now you see two generations later, one of the leading leaders. And so it is good to be like, might not have had it, but we can change and focus on it. And I love talking about your mom. She's in heaven. I love honoring my mom who is still here on earth, healthy, and-- 80 years old and more productive than she was, even in her 40. I think so. And so we can talk about those. And I think we talked about maybe playing ping pong a little bit. Like, hey, what are some of those characteristics that maybe from your mom? What are some characteristics? Maybe from my mom? What are just some general characteristics that we can just talk about that can help women? It can help men. But it can kind of start forming. What are some of those things that will create healthy families from a healthy mother? Healthy generations. I love that. Well, and you talked about even on Sunday like that those women, they were never-- they were always so generational. And I love that. Maybe the generations before you didn't get it right. But you can, and you can get the ball rolling in the right direction so that your children's children, that becomes their normal. I look at our kids, and they don't even know chaos. Which is crazy to me because all I knew, all I was comfortable in growing up was chaos. Just because of my dad being sick and stuff. But we break those things generationally. And it's such a blessing to see, of course, our kids are going to have different things that they have to break. But I feel like when I look back and see what God's done in our generation to move our family line forward, it's pretty amazing. And oh, glory to God because we didn't have the goods. But he has taught us, and the word of God has taught us how to do this. Yeah. And these are some things that we want you to take. And hopefully these are principles. These aren't things that you have to do, checklist, whatever. But get the heart of it, get the principle of it, because there are laws that no matter what family dynamic you're in, that still work. And so no matter how much I love the story of it, no matter how much Christian music you're playing, no matter how much podcast Christian that you're listening to going around a corner on a highway at this speed, you're going to roll-- At one speed, would that be? Well, like 100. Yeah. You're going to crash, no matter what other Christian thing, like just going to church, all of that. So there are some laws that you are. And so maybe some of these principles are kind of some laws that if you can get a hold of, it's going to help you. Yeah, that's good. ping pong, you first. OK, so we're going to talk about our moms and some characteristics that we really feel looked like Jesus and shaped our life. And so the first one I want to talk about with my mom, Connie Smith. She passed away about eight years ago. And I still honor her every mother's day. And just take that moment to think about the impact of her life that she literally eight years ago. She's still impacting me and our kids and everybody. But one thing that Connie was really, really good at, that I admired and I've gleaned from and made a part of my DNA is that she really danced in the rain well. Wow, what does that mean? OK, so there were a lot of storms that faced her life. A lot of reasons why she could have been bitter. A lot of reasons why she could have been angry. A lot of reasons why she could have made excuses as to why she didn't need to chase passionately after Jesus. She could have given up. She never did. And all I ever saw growing up was when chaos ensued, when they didn't have enough money to pay the bills, when there wasn't enough food for all 10 kids in the house. My mom had this beautiful way of trusting God in front of us. And I always talk about this one time, but it's marked in my memory where she said, OK, kids, tonight for dinner, we're going to have all you can eat popcorn and cool aid. And it's going to be so fun. Everybody go get their pajamas on. We're going to have so much fun. And I remember that was such a fun night. And it happened more than once. But there would be these nights where we would do popcorn and cool aid. And when I got older, I realized there's really no nutritional value. It was just filling our bellies. And but she did that because she did not have any money or food. And she, instead of painting the picture of sorry kids, but we don't have enough. I don't know where God is. I'm just, you know, I feel really forsaken. It was never that attitude. It was God is faithful. And in this storm, we are going to dance. And so I grew up in it one day, I asked her, mom, remember those nights that we used to have all you can eat popcorn and cool aid? We didn't do that because it was fun. We did that because we didn't have any food, didn't we? And she was like, absolutely. It cost 90 cents to get a huge thing of popcorn kernels. And it cost 9 cents per package of cool aid. And so that whole meal for 10 kids was about four bucks. And it just made my level of respect and honor go up so much because how easily are society today withers instead of God teach me how to be creative to frame this moment that's hard beautifully by your grace. And my mom was so good at that. I don't think your mom would have ever gotten a coffee from Starbucks and then stopped through the drive through, gone back out and then like, you got my order wrong. I asked for coconut and you gave me so. And can I tell you something that I've really noticed is that my mom never was unhappy. And people here in our world right now, not here in our city, but the culture of society right now, nothing's good enough. And we're, we're, we're addicted. And it's normal to completely complain about things when we are so blessed. Yeah. Love that. That's such a great trait. And again, it's a conny trait, but it's also a trait for a Christ. It's the Paul saying, I'm content in any situation. And we've sometimes only learned how to be content in good situations. What about in bad situations? And I love the way you articulated that like dancing in the rain. Like, are you available to dance in the rain? Some of the ones that I've been writing about my mom and just kind of wrote down is my, my mom and dad were pioneers. And I love that. Yeah. You know, because of situations, I think it was back in the 80s when the economy went bad. And California, everybody was leaving. And there was like-- Wait, in the 80s. Yeah. And now it's happening again. I know it's, it's the cycle. That's why we don't freak out. But gas prices were really high. All those different things, again, same thing. But they moved, you know, picked up everything, moved to Seattle, started from nothing. Like no, like barely any family connections, just everything. And then launched a church. And, you know, that was before arc. That was before church planting was sexy. It was like, nobody had done that really. And so I love the, my mom, and of course my dad too, but my mom was able to do that. And one of the reasons why I think that that's such a good characteristic is sometimes we're so well-planned. And we need everything to be like, oh, God, open this door, then open this door, then open this door, and then I'll think about it. And pioneering spirit is, I don't know what's next. I don't really know the end. Like we have a glimpse of a vision. We kind of see it. But there's nothing that is showing us that it's going to work. But still doing it. And doing it with our children. And like, hey, this is actually a really good thing to teach. And I think that some of the reason why we're in L.A. today is because we had that passed in us DNA from lowest to unistatimathy that we're like, OK, let's pioneer. Let's do it. And I even think weird things like they put billboards out 40 years ago. And we did it. And so there's some of those principles of just, hey, let's go in, let's believe, which is really good, I think, as a mother or something to look for, is the ability to change and the ability to conquer something that hasn't been done before, but that maybe we haven't done before. I love that. And she lived it in front of you, which down the road, you're looking at, we went and pioneered. And you'd already almost had this leverage of, my parents did this. And I'm carrying on a pioneer spirit. And pioneering means that you're building something without the formula yet, because you're going to record your formula as you go to help somebody else behind you. And that is so-- somebody passed you down gold. Come on. I love that. OK, another thing about my mom that I really love and I pray that I am this. I work hard to make sure to have the boundaries to be this. But my mom was beautiful. I remember my friends always being like, your mom so pretty. I don't think that people were seeing her features, but she had this wholesomeness and this glow about her that came from within. She really knew Jesus. She really had an ongoing relationship with the Holy Spirit. And it did change her countenance. But my mom was beautiful. She never tried to be sexy. And-- So what-- I want to talk to this. What about your nickname? Well, no, that's it. OK, I have to tell everyone this whole thing. No. I want to be a grandma that's kind of chunky and makes really good cookies for the grandkids. And I want to wear those one piece swimsuits with a little skirt. I want to be totally a grandma. I'm not going to try to be one of these hot gramas who keeps nipping and tucking. I want to fully-- my grandma was a grandma. And she stabilized our lives. All of us grandchildren would say that. She had like 32 grandchildren. But she really was like a unis or a lois. And my mom too. And both of them were beautiful women in every season of their life. But they looked pretty much their age. And they weren't trying-- like they always presented themselves well. But they weren't trying to be hot. Right. So I want to be called. I want to look like a grandma. And at that stage, I want my grandchildren to call me sexy. And it's just hilarious. Like, I can't wait till my grandchildren little boys grew up to be teenagers and realized that the word sexy doesn't mean grandma. It means something totally different. And their grandma is just so weird. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's backfired. It's not as hilarious to everyone else. I think it's funny. But anyway, I don't really want to be sexy. OK, so talk about-- Yes. OK, so anyways, my mom was beautiful, but she wasn't trying to be sexy. And as a teenage girl, and as an adolescent girl who was insecure about her body, and things were changing. And I didn't-- I wasn't like this. I pick up a stylist for middle school here. And I'm like, these girls look like-- all of them look like models. And I don't understand because I did not look like a model in high school or junior high. But-- But you do now. Thanks, babe. Good. See that? See that? We'll talk about good husbands and dad's leader. But I just think there's something to the fact that my mom was never trying to be something she wasn't. And her greatest question life wasn't to be hot. And I think that we live in a society of women feeling this pressure to be hot moms, sexy, to have this element. And I absolutely blame social media. And there's nothing wrong with being your best self, with working out, with being beautiful. And all of those things, modeling health to our children is being our best self. But it's also not having this spirit of being the hottest, this sex like this icon. And we live in a world where that's what we're told is the best way to live. I think it can really damage our children. Massively, because if you're not secure enough in yourself and you're insecure, insecurity gets passed on to the next generation double. 100%. Double, don't you think? And here's the deal. You do not have to be a mom that's trying to be sexy to be insecure. You can be insecure and look anyway. And their insecurity kills families. Yeah, and you don't want-- and again, our daughters, our men, our sons, or whatever-- this is such a prevalent thing anyhow, that if we're not even walking in a little victory on this, then I mean, they're just really set up for failure because of how difficult it is in there. So it's-- you know what I mean? It's like, so it's not just doing it for you, but you are doing it for your kids, because they're walking in it every day, and it is more and more difficult. The only thing that I would say that is to counter your older sexy self is I'm going to do all of it. I'm going to do it. I know this is true, you guys. I'm going to get it all. Is it one still a benefit forever? When they say at the counter, plastic, or paper, they won't even ask. They'll just go plastic, because I will be like this the whole time. You know what's going to be true? I'm going to try. But anyhow, OK, so I like that. How would you label that one with your mom? Is she just-- she found inner beauty instead of trying to do-- I think she had-- her identity was really a firm foundation in God. And so, you know, Israel, like we need to move on, but insecurity, if you're a parent-- if you want to be a parent, and you want to be a mom or a dad, insecurity kills families. Insecurity kills families, because when we're insecure, we're selfish. Insecurity is the root of selfishness. And so we always have to bring every conversation back to something about ourselves. When we have to see how many people like our Instagram likes to feel good that day or not feel good, when we need our children to look right for us, and when they go outside of the house, listen. When you have kids, they are going to reveal everything about you. They are going to humble you. They're going to call you out in front of people. They're going to have bad attitudes. They're not going to make you look your best. And parenting is not for the faint of heart. You've got to get insecurity healed in your life, or you will be a bad parent. Point, Blake. Like there's no ifs answer, but insecure parents, who are in families. And so we've got to find our true, righteous identity in Christ. We've got to know who we are so that when we correct our kids, it's out of love and building them. Instead of, I'm going to be better than you. I'm going to compete with you. All of these things that are so unhealthy when we raise children. And we've got to be people. And we haven't done it right all the time. I'm not like, oh, we're the best parents. No way. But with the grace of God somehow, I feel like we haven't made it about us. And my parents didn't make it. My mom-- my mom didn't make it about her. It's just-- And I did have a dad who was more insecure and never really got free. And so the difference in those two parents marked me in both ways. There were negative things that happened to me because my dad was insecure. And then he became selfish. And the whole world revolved around him instead of being a man that was like this firm foundation to be able to build me into the woman I was called the bee. Sometimes he tore me down. But my mom, on the other hand, was this foundation that I could look to and the way that she trusted God and really loved herself. And loving yourself means does not mean self-love. Because people love themselves are willing to sacrifice. Because they know who they are. People who don't love themselves are not willing to sacrifice because they are still trying to feel good about themselves. Yeah, so good. And I would say that some of that on my mom's side of what I really respect. And I think, even also I saw in Connie, but my mom was a woman of the word. And she has note cards on everything. And some of the things, even now people will ask her, how come you look so healthier, how come you're so sharp. And Schultz list-- well, it's this scripture. I don't mean-- and she declares it. And I just think that maybe-- well, not I don't think maybe-- I know that what you're saying, how do you combat the insecurity? How do you combat-- you say you find your identity in Christ. And then that's through knowing the word. And I don't think you really know your identity unless you know your identity through the word. Like you don't know who you are in Christ unless you know what the word says. And I think that generation was so good at that. And it's weird because we actually have better resources. We have-- we have AI. We have Google. We have all the Bible app. They had strong concordances. And they had to look up those things and find out what does God say about this. And then really begin to declare it, really begin to memorize it, really begin to-- like my mom would write it out. There'd be three by five cards of scripture versus. And she would discipline me with it. If I was-- Would you let all your life-- No, I didn't love it at all. But be sure your sins will find you out. That's awesome to hear. I remember when we first got married, and I would just say something kind of negative because I was in a mood. And he'd be like, if that's your confession, I'm like, oh my God. Oh, yeah. You would never-- Mom's note card. You never would confess those things. And so-- but there is a real positive thing that I and you, we gear ourselves and even our kids. No, no, no, no. What does the word of God say? And so we could feel fearful. We could feel insecure. We could feel negative towards some things. But we've learned to attack things, stand by things, move forward with the word of God. And so if you're looking for moms and you're looking for some traits to develop more or your single, you're looking for-- look for somebody that uses the word of God, because it's so strong. I think we've got time for one more, Rachel, on yours. No, no, no, no. OK, I'm going to look. I have so many. I think that the one I really want to talk about is that my mom understood seasons well, and she lived generationally. I love that about my mom. She definitely thought about her grandchildren while she was making decisions. And her grandchildren's children. And she would make decisions that might not have been the best for her in the moment, but would be the seeds that would outlast her. I love that. It's one of the greatest things about her. And that's why Grammacani is still the way that she lived her life is still producing fruit today. And it's not because she had a really nice car. She passed down or a really nice house that she passed down. She passed down faith. She passed down trusting God. She passed down being close, having a personal relationship with Jesus. And to live generationally, you have to be selfless. And it's the most Christ like we can be, right? Jesus lived generationally. Jesus gave his life so that others would live. Others passed him would live. And to be a great mom, what I have had modeled in front of me was selflessness. And I'm choosing this decision not for my lifespan, but for my daughter's lifespan and for her children's lifespan. I want my daughter to be a really selfless wife and to know that when you're selfless, it's the greatest reward and you're actually the most fulfilled. And it's opposite of what the world is saying right now. Fight for your voice, fight for you. And you know, you said something that was so good. You said, now we have AI. Now we have Google. But more resources don't mean better. And I feel like sometimes simplicity, where it is just you finding things for yourself instead of all the great resources and all the voices. Sometimes that makes you live better. And so maybe you're in a season right now where you really do need to shut down voices, shut down where you're getting your information from, because I'm telling you, just because it looks good, doesn't mean it is good for you. And if we're going to live generationally, we have got to kill the spirit of me myself and I. I love that. I mean, that one, we could probably have done a whole podcast just on that, because it is the prevalent thinking of today and the psychology of today that is really going to hurt society and hurt the next generation if we don't get that. My last one with my mom that I kind of-- You did that like a ping pong here. Because we were playing ping pong. Last one we'll close with is my mom was saved before my dad. And so she had the ability to be a believer in a non-believing home. And I think that that's a really good trait that I think you and I, like we wouldn't realize it. But I think that's why we're called the LA. And some people can only do Tulsa, because they have to be in a believing--- Yeah. - environment to do well. And my mom was in an unbelieving environment, but still stayed a believer. And in a way that Paul talks about, that the husband actually says, I want what you have. And so I've seen it a lot of times, well, I'm going to be a believer. And I'm going to tell everybody-- I'm going to feel the pain of the fun. I'm going to feel the pain of that I'm a believer, or that the fruit of I've seen my wife's transformation and I want that. And I think that that is a little bit of why maybe we're good in LA is because of that element. And I think as moms, it's a really good thing to grab a hold of is, can you-- and the Bible talks about it-- Paul talks about an unbelieving wife with a-- or a believing wife with an unbelieving husband and talks about the power of that, what you can do in that. And so I think that that's a really good-- can you be an unbeliever-- I keep on messing up-- can you be a believer in an unbelieving mommy and me's group? Can you be a believer in an unbelieving corporation? Can you be a believer in an unbelieving neighborhood? I think it's a really good trait that we can develop. And I love that about your mom. Yeah. So I'm going to just add one more thing about your mom. You can't. You're-- I know, but I just want to add one more thing about your mom. Is that she is the best mother-in-law. She really is. I have never felt like she didn't believe in me or she wasn't thankful for me to be your wife. And I haven't been the best wife all the time. She's walking into our house when it's a big mess, or I haven't done the laundry or whatever it is. And she's known us through 25 years of our seasons. But she has never made me feel like I wasn't enough, or that somehow I was the reason Israel wasn't enough. I love that about your mom. I told her that last time she was visiting is like, she's an awesome mother-in-law. She's an awesome mother-in-law. Well, we bless our mom's-- On purpose. On purpose. We do. And we find things to honor. And that doesn't mean both of those two women are perfect. Of course, they both have flaws. But we want to model to you. We find things to honor. And we champion those things because we want to be generational, too. Yeah. That's perfect. Yeah. I love you. I love you. And I honor you. Some of those traits that you say about your mom, I see in you 10 times and better. And I see the girls even starting to walk in that. And so it's the Connie, the Rachel. And then now it'll be the Phoebe Chloe Silas, just like that. And are you going to love me? Still, if I'm a cute chubby grandma named Sexy? I am going to love you if you're old and chubby and cute. But I may not love the nickname Sexy. But that's OK. Really? Because you already used that. Well, I use it now, but not as to our grandkids. I think it's kind of weird. Maybe I need a name. All right, all right, all right. OK, wrapping up. We'll see you next week. If this you think is good, make sure you send it to share it with somebody, like it. And then on the social media post, maybe give us some feedback of you said the word Sexy too many times or anything else. Love you guys. We can give me alternative names, too, for my grandma. Please, alternative names send them to podcast@floreshing.church.[MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING][MUSIC PLAYING](upbeat music)