Don’t Leave Your Family Guessing: Create a Home Legacy Folder

Nobody wants their family digging through drawers for a deed while they are grieving, panicking, or trying to move a parent into assisted living on short notice. That is why we sit down with Deanna and Kelly to talk about the Home Legacy Folder, a simple printed or digital file that turns homeownership details into a clear roadmap your loved ones can actually use.

Deanna brings years of senior living experience, including helping hundreds of families navigate transitions where the home becomes the biggest and most emotional decision. We break down the real-world questions that show up fast: Is there still a mortgage, HELOC, or reverse mortgage? Are taxes current? Who is the insurance company? Is there an HOA? Where are the deed, title paperwork, and key records stored? We also talk about doing this securely, so organizing does not mean exposing private information.

Then we get practical about the stuff that trips families up during a sale or estate situation: repair history, roof and HVAC age, sewer and plumbing issues, and why property disclosures filled with “N/A” can scare buyers and create risk. We also cover utilities, keys, alarm and gate codes, mailbox keys, and “who to call” so the house does not become a burden. Finally, we walk through the most personal part, your wishes, including selling options that balance speed, privacy, and net proceeds, and how to prevent fights over belongings by talking early.

Grab the free Home Legacy Folder template from us, start with one page, and build it in baby steps. Subscribe, share this with someone caring for aging parents, and leave a review so more families find a calmer way to plan.

Transcript

Episode Kickoff And Gentle Warning

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Hey, it's Romina Patten on the Real Estate News Radio Show, and today we're here with Deanna and Kelly, and we're gonna talk about something that's not always easy to bring up, but it's just a really, really important topic. The show is called the Home Legacy Folder, so you know where we're going with that. You're listening to the Real Estate News Radio. You can hear all the previous episodes over the last 14 years of realestatenewsradio.com. So what if something happens to your home? What if something happens to you? And I know that sounds really heavy, but many of us have already dealt with this in our families. And I know it it's not meant to be a scary conversation at all. It's actually a very loving conversation where you're taking part of your taking care of your family. It's a family conversation, it's a practical conversation. So if it's going to upset you today, don't listen. Trigger alert. But it's something so important, you know, for so many homeowners, especially senior homeowners, or for those of you who are in your 50s and 60s and 70s and dealing with elderly parents. In fact, I've got I know a friend who's in her 70s, whose mother, I just saw it on Facebook. Her mom just turned 102. Wow. So, and she's in her late 70s, she may even be in her 80s. I'm not gonna name her because that wouldn't be fair. You never tell her late age, right? So, you know, for for many of you, it's it's not just the house, it's where your kids grew up, it's where the holidays happen, it's where you make friends with the neighbors, it's where you maybe grew up around people you went to school with, it's where decades of memories live. Of course, remember we have a memories video for that as well. So today, me, Deanna, Kelly, we're talking about something called the home legacy folder and how to pull it together. It's a simple folder, printed or digital. Um, it just helps everybody understand your home, your wishes, who to call, and how to go about it. We do actually have a template for you. It's all free. We'll tell you where to get hold of that. So I want to start with Deanna today because she spent so much time working with senior life during those major life families for we managed a senior, a big senior living community for 14 years. Deanna.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Well, thank you, Ro. You know, I'm I'm glad that you brought this up because it's such an important topic. Um, you know, in my experience in senior living, I've seen how quickly things can become very overwhelming for families. And, you know, there's a there's a lot of moving pieces to that transition. And when uh a senior is moving into a senior living community or when health changes happen, the home often becomes one of the biggest decisions. You know, the family is really asking a couple of quick key questions, excuse me. You know, uh, what do we do with it? First of all, how can we make this work for our loved one? Um, what's the home worth? Is there still a mortgage? Uh do they need some equity to help pay for the care? And and that's often the case because, you know, as homeowners, that's typically someone's most important and valuable asset that they work so hard to get throughout their life. So uh, you know, another key thing to remember is is all of these decisions and choices and paths that they're going through, uh, they're happening while the family is going through a really emotional state. They're tired, they're trying to make decisions quickly. Often the what I call the older adults, the children with aging parents, they're they've got their own families to care for and their own jobs to tend to. And so this is why a home legacy folder is so powerful. It gives them a place to start. Um, you know, we should say it definitely doesn't replace an attorney, CPA, or financial advisor, but it does help organize the real estate side of the conversation. And for seniors, uh, and as we know, you know, people at that at that age bracket, they they don't want to be a burden. You know, they they do everything they possibly can for themselves to the point of um self-sacrifice because they don't realize that this can actually be a gift for their children. So it really says, you know, I cared enough to write things down so you don't have to guess anymore, and it takes that away from the equation. Oh, okay. Oh that was so weird. You were talking. Sorry, you were talking and it just completely did you think, Kelly?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

We're gonna cut that piece out, we're gonna make a lot of noise to I can see where to cut it.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

You were on mute. Your screenshot muted.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

That is exactly it. This is not about taking control away from anybody, it's about making sure that your family's not left digging through the old files, the drawers, the the linen cupboards with all those stacks in and files. I've been through this personally and it's really, really hard. I went through early. I was raised by my grandparents, and going through all that in my twenties, it was so difficult. I don't think it gets any easier in your 40s or your 50s or 60s or 70s either, would be my my guess. And Kelly, you work with families in some um, you know, emotional situations as well, going through trauma or somebody passing or getting divorced, or gosh, half the time just moving out of a house. So what do you see when there's no plan in place?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Uh chaos, confusion. So I want to echo. So when Deanna's talking about printing out this list or downloading this packet, oh the biggest thing I find is I'm I'm gonna go into myself personally. You stress out when you don't have the facts. And these situations like Deanna's talking about, they can happen they can happen immediately. Your parent or somebody may get put in a hospital and then they may need to go into an assisted living after the fact. But nobody thinks about all these things together. I mean, here's I personally had friends that are like their parents pass away or they have to go out and they have to deal with the home. Where's the deed? What kind of mortgage do we have? I've had a couple that have had reverse mortgages, had no clue, and they've had to let the house go. There's so many things involved, and if you go through this checklist, it'll help you understand if they're current on taxes, who the insurance company is, do you live in an HOA, an area that has an HOA? Um, what about repairs and stuff like that? But there's it's just the confusion and chaos that if you go through this list and use it, you will be set up for when that event happens. We we don't want to say we know it's gonna happen. Yeah, it will, but you want to be prepared for when it actually does happen. So whoever's in charge of the family or in charge of the information from mom, dad, whoever the case may be, you want to have this list taken care of and answered long before the event actually happens.

The Essential Home Facts To Record

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Yeah, and we need to remember too that often we're dealing with estates. So, you know, if if you've got more than one child or somebody taking care of the estate, or if you've appointed somebody, then you know, you've got especially if you've got kids kids involved, it's also so funny saying that when what do you call them older adults? Deanna. Children with aging parents. Children with aging parents, yeah. So often you've got um one sibling wants to sell it, some may want to keep it, someone may want to rent it out. Most often you get one wanting to move into it, and then trying to figure out the financing, how to buy the others out, which can be a very long road. And oh my gosh, if you don't have a trust setup or something to transfer the property easily, but I want to say you're probably feeling kind of overwhelmed just listening to us talking about this today. We do have a template and you don't have to do it all at once, is a thing. Just make a start. You know, do the stuff that you can do. So um, you know, home legacy folder creates a roadmap for you. Even if you fill in three things on it today and then go back to it later, it's all held online, it's all private, it's just for you. You make a copy, it's yours, it's all encrypted, you don't have to worry about that. And I I I love the idea of a roadmap, you know. And one thing we always say is that a home, it should be a gift to your children. Now, if you're the kind of parents who are like to heck with that, they need to stand there on their own two feet, I had to work for it. I very much respect that too. I grew up with grandparents who said, one day all this will be yours, and every single day I would say, no, absolutely not, don't even go there. I want you to sell the house, spend all the money and have a good time. So if you want to do that, go do that too. And we can help you get out of your house now, actually, if you want to do that, and go and have a ball, go and do everything on your bucket list. If uh that's not the case, then let's get your home folder together. And quite frankly, even if you're, you know, even if you're younger, this folder could a lot of this folder's for you as well, where all the details are. And you might find it a lot easier going back when you know all these details are. So excuse me, let's look at the very basic information. And you've all got this property address, county, parcel ID or PIN. We can look those up for you if you don't have them. The year you purchased the property, the mortgage company, the approximate mortgage balance, whether there's a second mortgage or HELOC that's often overlooked, and the kids are like, oh, this is terrible. And um, oh, I wonder how much we're gonna make on the house. And then they didn't know about the HELOC that is another$200,000. The homeowner's insurance company, whether it's an HOA condo or town home association, and the documents to that, again, we can help you find an awful mod about that. Just write down what you do know. A little info is better than no info, right? So what do you think, Deanna? Did I miss anything there?

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah, no, that's that's wonderful information. I would only add that the document section is very important. Uh, families at this stage during a transition like this really need to know where things are. And so, you know, they want to look for things like um to include in there like the deed or title, mortgage paperwork, homeowners insurance policy, like you mentioned, tax records, HOA documents, you know, anything like that that might be helpful later on down the road. Now, you don't have to hand a copy to everyone today, but someone trusted does need to know where those documents are located. And please, we can't stress enough, keep sensitive documents in a secure place. You know, the the point is not to expose private information, it's to prevent confusion later and make sure everyone's on the same page.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

What do you think, Kelly?

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Oh, I agree with her, especially the legalities of it. Um power of attorney, who's in charge. I I just I literally spoke with a person selling their family home, and they told me that their brother could help take care of it because she's out of state. But what happens with the house is up to her and it's nobody else's business. So it's like you could have sibling rivalry in there or something. It's like some sometimes it doesn't go well with family members, so hopefully everybody's involved. But I agree with Deanna, yeah. You have the legal parts in place first and foremost to me, but somebody's gotta know what's going on. This is if you don't know, this is gonna be a w you're gonna be hit with a landslide.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

So what about uh repairs and improvements, Kelly? You you had a whole section that you were talking about with with you know when the roof was replaced and all all that good stuff. I mean, you've done a lot of remodeling, a lot of construction work in in your time before and during being a realtor. So what kind of things are we looking at there?

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Well, any the the person who knows most about the house is the person living in it, mom or dad or whoever the case may be. They're the ones that have to under, they're the ones that are gonna have to pass that information on as to when the roof was replaced, if they were serviced the HVAC later. Um, anything dealing with I mean, anything, anything big, I mean the plumbing repairs, water heater, have they had leaks, have they had drainage issues with the sewer systems? Um, you're gonna be asked by everybody when the house goes to sell or when you try to dispose of it, or even if somebody moves in, uh they've got to know about updates and when any of the repair work was done, and the only ones that are gonna know that are the people living in it.

Documents Powers Of Attorney And Security

SPEAKER_00 14:06

And know that too, we deal with this as agents all the time, right? So often when I I would say probably a third of our work is with um siblings who are selling the house in estate sales, is it's a lot of people, obviously. There's a lot of us getting older. It's the biggest demographic in this country by far now. So here's the issue. Often what happens is there's a there's a thing called a property disclosure in every single state that's attached to the MLS. And it goes out to you as the homeowner and you check when the roof was replaced, um, when how old the HVAC is, whether it's the new type of HVAC, because you can't use, you know, repair the old type of HVAC now. Um, you know, when if there's any plumbing issues, any electrical issues, all that good stuff. When the last time the kitchen or bath updates were done, that's on a property disclosure. So normally, and you you do tell me if this has been your experience, the siblings check NA, or you know, they're not going to disclose anything. Because you can do that in almost every state. You can choose not to disclose. Why is that not a good idea, do you think, guys? I don't think it's a good idea at all. Do you agree with that? And why not? Can I touch on that?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Please do, yeah. Yeah, you have this this the children or the successors, it could come back to be a legal battle for so what they can say they don't know. But at the same time, they should have an understanding from their parents or whoever owns the house of what happened to it. Because it could come back. And unless the parents are have passed on, or whoever owned the house has passed on and they can literally claim they don't know anything about it, then maybe they can mark NA, but if that person is still living, it could still come back to affect the parents. You really want that to happen, or whoever owned the house. Because it's it doesn't just you can't just say, hey, it's I didn't know about it, so it's not my fault. But it's like it is. There's there's disclosures that have to take place with the transaction, and the you might as well know about it. It's gonna just benefit you in the end, and it's gonna protect you first and foremost.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

And may I add? Yeah, but it's when you're helping buyers, what do they think when they see a disclosure that has NA all over it? I'm sure our brains went to the same place on that.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Yeah, yeah, for sure. They're apprehensive. It's it's scary, they're very unsure. Um, there's caution that takes place at that point. And another thing to remember too is, you know, neighbors talk, right? So, you know, as a buyer's agent, you go and you visit a home, oftentimes you'll have a neighbor that will come around. They see somebody's new, interested in the home. They've seen the comings and goings of people helping their loved ones, especially if they've been elderly. So if they have um knowledge of something that's been going on that maybe a family member's been coming over to try to help with, they're gonna disclose that to the new homeowner before or after they move in. So, yes, Kelly's right. You have to check all your boxes, cross all your T's because that could come back to you for sure.

Repairs Disclosures And Avoiding Legal Trouble

SPEAKER_00 17:09

It's just how it's the same as how we list houses certified pre-owned. You know, we have homeowners do the inspection up front because everybody goes in eyes wide open. Everybody knows what's going on. So, you know, having that disclosure up front and central is really important. Yes, you can put NA, but I'd say to you, if you have a home listing out there right now, really think twice about that. Put down everything that you can to disclose it because it's better to disclose because the buyers feel like you're being truthful. Everybody feels like it's on a level playing field and you have more trust. And let's face it, there's not a lot of trust sometimes in real estate deals. Like it's like one side trying to make money on the other side and you know, that kind of thing. So it's really, really important what whatever stage you're at, whether you're making your home legacy folder or you are in a a regular real estate deal. I don't know what that is because they're they're all different, right? So that's a really important point, I think, of disclosing things. And we're not saying it's not about every home has to be perfect at all. I was even wondering when I was looking through our topic today whether we should talk about people having homes inspected. I might just have my home inspected. I'm not selling it because it will give me time to know what is going to come up on an inspection. You know, just what's going on with my house. So, you know, you don't want the family left guessing, and you definitely don't want the family putting that non-disclosure on there because we don't know what's going on. And maybe there's an issue with the gutters that's causing some moisture. Your house, your your ha your family's grieving. It might take them a year to even put the house on the market. And I've seen that very, very commonly. So other things are gonna, you know, the grass keeps growing, the insurance is still there, the the water the the weeds still growing in the gutters. So that could cause problems with the house down the road. So I think that's that's important. And the folder, obviously, all the utilities, the electric electric company, the gas company, the water provider, the sewer sewer and septic information. Um let's make we just did a blog post on those uh old old form pipes. Uh go and have a look at that one if if you want to be scared about your sewer lines. Always do a sewer scope. Trash service, internet provider. Yeah, we're all grinning because we've had one come up recently on that. And it's not funny, is it? It's like it's it's things that are worth worth doing. Who's the lawn care? You can even go as far as what's the main paint colour in your house, you know, so you can do all those little touch-ups because you might not remember later on. Um, I mean, I'm not in memory care and I have problems remembering things, especially if I've thrown the paint away at this point. You know, it's a good thing to have in there. So um, you know, Deanna, then there's all the things about the people. You've dealt with this for so many years when you were managing the senior living. So, you know, tell us a bit more about that.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah, the people section is very important, and there are a lot of people to connect with and reach out to. And really it comes down to, you know, who should the family call? So some recommendations would be like a real estate attorney, um, a CPA or financial advisor, a real estate professional, of course, to help with these types of things. Just a few. Absolutely. Um, roofer and, you know, again, going back to the neighbors, helpful neighbors because they're going to be able to have a lot of contacts as well. But ultimately, when families are under pressure in these types of situations, first of all, they they don't know where to start and they definitely don't want to start from scratch. So having the right names and phone numbers can reduce a lot of stress. And for a lot of senior homeowners themselves, this can be really reassuring and basically says to their loved ones, hey, I've I've not left my family alone with this.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Ugh. And I'm sure you both also deal with this when you're talking to senior homeowners who are thinking about going into senior living or just downsizing from their four, four-bedroom, five-bedroom house that they've realized the kids aren't coming back from different places. So now is a time to maybe move into independent living and start renting. But pull your money out now in most parts of the country. We've hit that peak and it's going to be another 10 years. And I mean, anywhere past 55, I would say. I I might put Carrie and I in that situation. We don't want to wait for 10 years to pull our money out of the house, you know, which is what this cycle could take. It was 14 years last time around, before you get the height of your money out. So now might be the time to move into independent living, maybe, and pull your money out and get out there. So, you know, you start settling and in a good way and settle back down again. Is so that is so important. So let's do let's go to Kelly, the big man in the room, who's going to talk about access.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

All right. So one other thing you can do uh through this is to make sure you understand who has keys, where are the spare keys located in the house, uh, are there garage? codes alarm companies. I actually had a a buyer. I helped them with a house a few years ago and what a pain it was to get the alarm company switched over. It's like you don't have access to the code and we had to go back to the previous seller. Those things, those are things you're never gonna think about unless you put some preparation into it. And they do they have a is there a gate code, is there a mailbox key? Mom and dad have a safe in the house with all that money you're supposed to be getting as an inheritance. What about the white byte? The thing is is Ro, I'm gonna touch back to the maintenance and stuff you were talking about, the utilities and electrical and water. And if somebody doesn't take a if somebody doesn't know where that information is, does the gas get shut off in the winter? Do the water pipes burst? What happens and the city comes in and starts posting notices because the lawn has them in mode and now it's full of weeds and stuff like that. There's this will help prepare people in so many ways to be able to take care of the house and knowing what's coming. And that's what we're trying to help them with is here's what's going to happen. We've seen it time and time again, especially with Deanna's experience. She's seen it over and over and that's why it's easier for us to put this list together and this package together to help these families that are going to go through this transition someday one way or another.

Utilities Keys Codes And Home Access

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Gosh I realize you know the more we talk about this I'm realizing we we need it's funny because I owned House Facts for the longest time where we'd put together a folder that had all the details in it. This isn't just if it a legacy folder this is a now folder. We need to create this for people who have houses now and you just you fill in a little bit at a time you know do five minutes a week until everything's there. How helpful would that be? Like a house folder with all the details in it you know especially if it's electronic because the printed ones get lost. Alright let's move to the most emotional part of this folder your wishes and this isn't about replacing a will obviously you know it's really great if you have a will in place not about replacing a trust and it's definitely not legal advice that's our big disclaimer there. So you know if you can't live in the home anymore what do you prefer? Do you want it sold? Because quite frankly you you may not have the memory to be able to um you know to be able to make that decision at that point. As sad as it is to say we're dealing with a lot of Alzheimer's in this country you know a lot of memory care issues that's why all these memory care communities are springing up all over the place so you know thinking about what you'd want now now might you change your mind? Absolutely but this is your document it's only for you right so you can change it. So do you want the family to compare options before deciding you know what does that look like um you what do you want for your family? Do you do you want them to fix all these little last things? Do you want them to squeeze every dollar out of it? And we I don't want to be salesy here, but we do have a great program that is CashCPO.com that gets your money out um and then we fix it and then you benefit from the upside. You know most sellers make 90 to 120% and that takes all of the um takes most of the stress away because you don't have to think about it. It's a program that we use when people are going into senior living as well. Gosh Deanna you've used it so many times right now really eases that transition. So you know do you do you need the home to pay for care? A lot of people find they need to sell it's it's about 80% of people need to sell the home to go into senior living and they don't think about going into senior living so they're not thinking oh I'm gonna break my hip in in five years' time and then suddenly have to sell my house and suddenly go into senior living and no planning is done. So you know um do you prefer privacy and and less stress or do you need to squeeze out every dollar? What does it look like? Here's a big one guys so I knew somebody once that put stickers on the bottom of furniture in the parents' house while the parents are still living in fact here's the truth the parents are still living and it's always been a sort of funny joke. But don't argue over the furniture is the shocking truth just to you know be Debbie Downer again roe down for for a moment most kids don't want your furniture it came over from Germany in 1926 or grandma's bedroom set the majority of families don't want your furniture but if you do talk it over now you know and figure out who's getting what and if they don't want it that's okay they've got their own lives where we're I mean obviously in a you know very different era now and that they they just seem like simple things but they matter so much. I've been through losing my grandparents and it was awful and I've seen lots of other families go through it as well. Whole fight going on who's getting what who's this going to and it can literally tear families apart. Have you guys ever yeah Kelly's Kelly's grinning like you've seen this or with people yeah it's awful everything I have my parents furniture that my sister tagged oh what's your sister's name let's give her a shout out let's call her uh her name's Jenna but yeah she had her she had her label on some furniture some side tables and coffee tables it's like well they're in my house so sorry Jenna we're gonna take it out on Kelly for you there you go I hope you're having a lovely life and I'm sorry you don't have that furniture and we're gonna send the men around to get it for you there you go. So but people are fighting because they didn't know what you wanted. So so get everybody in agreement well they won't be in agreement but it's up to you it's yours right stop enabling your kids just put it down and he's getting war. So what do you think Deanna?

Defining Wishes And Selling Pathways

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Yeah that is so true. I mean obviously you know the the situation might be vital right um they might have to move because they need care quickly because there's been an incident in the home maybe they took a fall or or something like that. But but uh the point is the home is still sitting there and the family may need to take advantage of the equity that's in that home so that they can pay for their loved ones care. They may need time to sort through belongings uh but they also may not want to go through the typical what we call the traditional home selling process. We even kind of joke that it's grandma's listing, right? Grandma's way of listing it's the way it's always been done. You know, they don't want to go through showings signs, putting you know, managing repairs or having a lot of strangers walk through the home if there it you know are still belongings that they haven't gone through or tended to yet. So this is why it's so important that you you have options. These families know that they have options and there's not only one way to sell them. So you know again going through that there's there may be a traditional listing um there's an option with what we call a certified pre-owned uh style sale that that provide the inspections and possibly an appraisal and a home warranty up front uh there's also a full market value cash offer that's available and a couple of other choices that might be available to the family depending on their timeline.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

The whole point is they need options not pressure that's what we provide and we have more that you can uh see on that program at cashdpo.com and Kelly what kind of questions do you think that uh people should ask before they make a decision what what are the best questions you'd suggest well I'm I'm betting within all the people that are involved with it they're gonna wonder what the worth it how much the house is worth they're gonna look and see what it would sell as is and I'm gonna I'm gonna throw on there too that again catching back on making sure you know what if there's a mortgage or a lien against the house because they may think it mom and dad own have owned this for 40 years and no mom and dad took out a reverse mortgage 10 years ago. So knowing what it's worth what it'll actually sell for but then understanding what kind of repairs are going to need to be be made because there's going to be repairs. If mom and dad have been there for a long time there's going to be things that will add value to it and then determining what's what's the best value for the money.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

How long it's gonna you know if there's a mortgage or reverse mortgage or anything how much how much is that going to cost us to put out of our pockets and I've ran into this a few times honestly it's like I'm putting money out of my pocket for mom while she's in her care facility. We had to move her but it's coming out of my pocket I need to sell the house. And then how much is it going to net that's like one of the biggest things is like everybody asks how much is it going to be how much is it going to be and that's an important factor because they need to know how far they can you know how much how long that's gonna last for keeping them in a care facility and then the speed and the timing and the privacy how many people are involved in in the trust or the will or their heirs to it um do they they do they all agree oh no they they're not gonna agree unless it's a really tight family. Yeah and then who gets to sell it and I'll pass on another one. What about the probate title or trust estate issues? I literally had a friend her mom or stepdad passed away four months ago and her mom passed away two months ago and what they thought they had set up she told me me and my mom's best friend are holders of the house or we we're gonna handle everything for her there was nothing set up they lost it in probate it went to the state got it from pennies on the dollar and I just found that out in the last week I was very because I told him I said I can help you let me help you I can get you through this it's oh don't want to be heartbreaking that's terrible and you know here's the thing don't get overwhelmed with all this just start with one page we can give you the template just get the the main details down and spend a little time at a time Deanna oh yeah you know I if you've ever seen the movie What About Bob with Bill Murray, you know it's all about taking the baby steps.

How To Prevent Inheritance Fights

SPEAKER_01 32:20

And if you've seen that you know the funny part of the movie is baby steps to the elevator baby steps to the sidewalk. Literally take it one step at a time like Ro just mentioned. And if you are an adult child listening to this please be gentle with this conversation if you can um you know it's a different generation that you're speaking to than what we have today and you definitely don't want to bring up a conversation with mom or dad and say you know we need sorry it's just I have to say it, but we need to talk about what happens when you die because that's probably not going to be a conversation that's gonna go well. So instant what's that? I would say yeah yeah and I mean how do you feel when you hear that it's like oh instant resistance I don't want to talk about it right so something that you might be able to say is hey mom, dad, I, you know I heard about something today creating a home legacy folder. You know, is that something you've heard of or would it be okay if I helped you organize your you know your information for the home just so we know where things are if you ever need us to help with anything. Come at it from a place of of being helpful. Uh it'll have a different feeling and it'll show them that you're coming from a a place of empathy a different perspective than someone coming in just wanting to take control and take over things for them. They don't want that.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

I love that oh my gosh Kelly any final words our time goes so quickly on the radio show and we have to wrap it up because we'll be off the air yeah um so tying into that and going back to your uh you mentioned hey mom, dad, you know sell your house, use the money, go do things you want to do.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

So there's there's two lines of thinking so the the children are going we may not need the money or what you're offering to us. We want you to have it enjoy it. And the parents on the other side are thinking I want to leave this to them. So it's it's nothing to be to feel guilty about on the senior side or the homeowner side it's just prepping to help your kids. You want to help them I've seen it multiple times it's like the parents want to help the kids the kids are saying just go have fun. Just go do what you can but just having some things in the same place located in one file is it's not that hard to do. So just start small grab out the things you know right away are and then add to it over time. And whoever's in charge of this if it's one person, two person in my case it's it's me and my sister. And we will get together and my mom has thought about this so just put it together and add it as you go so that when the c time comes up you have to refer to it and use it. The actuality is you will have it right there and it will be so much smoother.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

May I add one thing to that Kelly um that's such great information and guidance for families going through these transitions. I, you know, during my time in senior living I helped over 640 families with that transitional process. And I can tell you and I started as a CNA in in that environment so went through different sides of what that looks like right what's most important at the end of the day has nothing to do with the furniture or a lot of these things. It's who's with you in the room when that graduation happens, right? So if if you can come from a place of empathy, whether you're the adult child caring for your loved one, knowing that these things are probably going to happen, or you are the this the individual yourself, the senior looking at making the transition, you can work together and there are ways that we can help you do that with with the home legacy folder. So just remember that it's all about love and start there.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

That's really good Deanna.

Baby Steps For A Loving Talk

Free Template And How To Reach Us

SPEAKER_00 36:14

I I never know how to follow Deanna like she just hits me right in the heart every time I love that. So this is all about starting small don't get overwhelmed with it. That was the best advice from Deanna ever. I should just let her do the whole show next time. You know this is about your you know they say it's about your home should remain a gift not not become a burden I don't know whose quote that was but at the same time I say sell your home rent something now if you're older and off you go. Even if it's independent living but go around the world do anything you can still do get your back bucket list done because every year it doesn't get easier. Go spend your money and have a good time. Just saying but this is you still need it's not just about the house it's not just about the money out of the house it's about all of the details because at there is another I mean I grew up with two sets of Alzheimer's in my it both with my grandmother and my mother and you don't know when you're starting to forget things. You know in the beginning in fact mo most of us go, oh we're forgetting things is it happening already right who hasn't experienced that put your hand up at home right now. Like we've all experienced that. So it sort of gradually gets worse was my experience in my family. And you don't really know what when you go over that ledge where you can't write things down anymore or you can't find where it was at or even remember that you're supposed to. So getting this into place outside of the house you know even if you spend all the money out of your house is really important for your family who or whomever's going to pick up the big old mess that we make in life right so and of course we can help you with the legacy folder. I mentioned we have a template for you it's all free we're not selling for you selling to you or anything else else like that. It's the home legacy folder give us a call it's a download we'll send it out to you. Give us a call 247 at 8283 4483 that's our reception desk they'll take a message or put you through to us if it's if it's the uh normal times of the day but 247 literally you can call there's always some of the old call and we'll help you start organizing. So when that day comes and I hope it's the day when you're doing your bucket list and and running around then we can help you. Again the numbers 828 333483 your home matters your family matters your plan matters go see all the episodes at realestate newsradio dot com and this is Rowena Deanna and Kelly and we'll see you on the radio next week