Narcissism is Destroying Modern Relationships—Here's Why - Heidi Lyne

Heidi Lyne talks about narcissism, generational trauma, and her multi-modality approach to healing. Lyne traces the narcissistic patterns in her own family back multiple generations, distinguishes clinical narcissistic personality disorder from everyday ego, and explains her belief that healing requires addressing developmental trauma somatically rather than through repeated talk therapy. She describes her work helping high-achieving women drop the "masculine energy as armor" many use for protection in corporate settings, shares her own history of childhood abuse, foster care, and suicidality that hypnotherapy helped her move past, and closes by discussing her upcoming retreats and corporate workshops aimed at teaching practical, everyday nervous-system reset practices to people new to spirituality.
www.heidilyne.com

Resources:
https://auraverse.network
www.claudiumurgan.com
claudiu@claudiumurgan.com
https://spirituallyinspired.buzzsprout.com

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SPEAKER_00 0:10

Hello everyone, welcome back to a new episode of the Speech Inspired. Hello everyone, and welcome back to a Claudio Moon episode of the Speech. Your previous networks for our YouTube SpeechChannel.ca, Heidi Channel, and we'll talk about narcissists today. Thank you for faking NLP and even more. Heidi, thank you for joining me. You know, you describe breaking free from a lineage of uh lineage uh psychology. Cross-generation. What was the first social path you recognize the cross generation was generational?

SPEAKER_05 1:03

I would change well into my healing journey. And as I was seeing the change, because I was changing disconnecting from everybody in my family change within my alone, but I'm everybody in my family. So didn't make me feel very alone, but I was still within myself. You know, and then I started myself noticing that my parents were. Grandma finding out my amused my mother's in Germany and grandma, and she was able to get it to come across the case. She was in Germany and she was abused, and she didn't actually get broke out of her home in the middle of the night. She did it, she broke out of her home in the middle of her night when she came here to the United States to do that. So those are some of the things that I found when she came here to the United States. Um, same thing on my dad's side. And um lots of things. When that's passed down from the same thing on my dad's side. I've come to the place in my life, lots of use. You know, I don't blame you. I've come to the place in my life because it wasn't. I don't blame the pattern that he just continued to me because it was done to him. This is the generational healing is really important.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

And so this is generational healing is really important. I do see it more in the men or in the women.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

I don't but there are definitely women out there. I don't say definitely honest, both my parents are narcissists, but they're different. Um, I would say to be honest, both my parents are narcissists, but they're different.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

What would be a practical advice, let's say, for women? Because I know this would be a practical advice, let's say, for women spot capital with women than men. So much more uh for those who are in this type of relationship, what would you suggest? For those who are in this type of relationship, what would you suggest?

SPEAKER_05 3:02

Well, the first thing is that you need to get yourself to somebody and discuss what's going on to really assess the relationship. I would say number one if there's any type of fear of relationship. I would say number one, if there's any type of relations or harm contact. That they just need to do contact. There's a financial situation, there's other situations where it's not that easy. I tell them that you know things like that. As long as you're feeding the dragon, I tell them you're playing in as long as you're feeding the dragon.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

So you have to do things like set boundaries but set them gently.

SPEAKER_05 3:40

So you have to do things like set boundaries but set them gently for yourself, doing things like meditation and centering yourself, taking time for yourself. Responding to them in a way that won't trigger yourself, make you feel like responding to them in a way that I know how to do it. At least for a bit of a little I teach a lot of people. I mean, I know who I know half my life staying at least for a bit. I mean, I know in you know in my life. At some point you're gonna have to leave. I don't think anybody wants to stay with someone who's another. I don't think anybody wants to stay with someone who's there is a narcissist. I mean you're just continuing to have abuse on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

And do you think that the narcissist over time the narcissists have become that the smart time the narcissists have become much more from smart abuse to emotional abuse, which I think is much more effective.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

Yes, I would say that's visible because I mean there's the narcissism is a yes. I would say that. I mean, there's you know, someone's egotistical they're a narcissist. No, they're just someone's egotistical, they're a narcissist. No, a person can be abusive and still not be a narcissist. Narcissist personality. A person can be abusive and still not be a narcissist. Mental disorder. Narcissist personality that was created when their consciousness was cracked in mental disorder. Early childhood, you know, that was created when their consciousness was cracked to get their supply early childhood. And they just like a vampiric type supply energy.

SPEAKER_06 5:01

And they just you know it's almost like a vampiric type energy. You know, if you're in a narcissist, they are gonna be feeding off of you.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

If you're getting it from the narcissist, they're gonna be feeding off of you and they're gonna get it from someone else or something like that. And when people understand, so it's almost like a need to feed, they're gonna do it. And when people understand that's what do whatever they need to do manipulate, and whatever they're gonna do, they're gonna do and manipulate. You start to say, Hey, I want to leave. Even like things start to start to say, Hey, I want to leave.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Now they're the nicest. So they see your leaves.

SPEAKER_05 5:35

My mother always used to be sweet.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

You know, I'd say when things calm down, we'll leave.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

My mother always used to be okay, because you know, I'd say when things calm down, we'll leave father, and then I'd go over the way. And then I'd say, Okay, things have calmed down, that sleep, yeah, but he's being so good. And then I'd say, Okay, things have calmed down that sleep, yeah, but he's being so good. I think he's good. They're very clever. Mental tricks.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yes. And do you think they can heal considering that they extend they have this type of considering arrangement?

SPEAKER_05 6:02

Let's say that they accept they have the I do honestly think that if someone has come to the point that they that they I do honestly think that if someone has come to acknowledge that they are narcissistic, they have and they truly want to heal, they want to become a better person that narcissistic. That would be like a breaking consciousness. They want to become a better person. That is that would be like a breaking consciousness. And that point is a form of enlightenment. But they're going to have to obviously do it. And then that point, yeah. You're gonna have to go, they're going to have to obviously do all of the things. That trauma what I talk about is developmental trauma. That trauma wanna call it. So a lot of what I talk about is developmental trauma. No, people want to call it. And and everybody has something called developmental trauma. Had somebody has some sort of relationship. Maybe it was somebody used by kids and your parents and an abusive. Now you don't feel good about it. Maybe it was at school and you were children. But we create these patterns, and now you don't feel good about yourself. We create these patterns this way long after the abuse.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Continuing to treat ourselves in trauma. We pretend to attract long after the abuse of our lives because that's developing to attract these things, you know, that's like attracting that pattern that we knew.

SPEAKER_05 7:07

Feel that we're supposed to be, you know, that's like the track pattern of creating. So or subconscious trauma if that makes sense. Is basically over again, attracting people to repeating the pattern. So if you're a narcissist over again, attracting people to freedom over again. You realize, like, have the narcissist, oh my gosh, I'm this horrible person. I do these things. You realize have to go back into your early childhood, you have to heal those things from your child. You have to go back to your early children. You have to heal those things from your children. Heal the energy in your body, you have to read it.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Heal the energy in your body, your physical automatically release everything that's going to be in your physical.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

That's why I do a body mind and spirit approach in a physical body. I don't think I know anybody that's why I do a body mind and spirit approach, which is I don't think I know anybody that does three.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

And Heidi, you work specifically with um high achieving women, and Heidi, you relied on specifically with uh between aircraft, masculine energy, relied on um, between aircraft, masculine energy. What does the bad farm actually look like day-to-day in a client? What are the behaviors what happens to keep

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SPEAKER_00 8:14

you off?

SPEAKER_05 8:53

They'll do things like they're in survival mode. I can because I read energy cut people off and I can because I read it. If you've ever gone, let's say into a

(Cont.) Narcissism is Destroying Modern Relationships—Here's Why - Heidi Lyne

SPEAKER_05 9:02

workplace and you see that. If you've ever gone, let's say, into a workplace, let's say she's the president. And she's that's you know, running around watching everybody, just you know, and she's running so aggressive around having this very masculine energy, so aggressive, and having this affordable protection energy about her because that is staying in her presence, and she could empower people if she can stay in her presence, give people jobs or whatever they need to do and speak to them, you know, more give people jobs or whatever. Pattern that to do creates way more presence and gets a lot more done. Pattern that could be a good thing. But this is all way more present. But this is all created from a survival mode. I was not the nicest person when I was younger. I was yelling at people. I was not the nicest person when I was younger. I was yelling at people. And now I laugh because I'm like, I am so much more powerful, you know, staying in my feminine energy. Because I'm like, I am so staying in my feminine energy. But I always tell people the biggest creating from there. But I always learn how to set the effective boundaries. The way to get out of staying in that energy is and deal with all the aftermath, effective boundaries. People don't like boundaries who've been able to find it. Deal with all the aftermath because people don't like boundaries fight back who've been able to take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

And you mentioned the uh the women in um let's say powerful positions of the women in uh and I brought up powerful subjects or leadership positions. And I brought up this uh several. I think uh tough fear that if they don't or lose that position too uh, and they really have to lose that position more to a man into their massive feminine world more and again that goes for the side of the feminine, they have to be tougher than the next one in line as well. And that happens a lot in the corporate world. Next one in line.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

Uh I find and that happens a lot in the corporate world, you know. Before when I was I find working my business and working in a corporate world. Before when I was and I had that more masculine energy in the and I had that more masculine energy, I got a word I definitely powerful, but I got a word like scared of me, but oh she's she's powerful, she's doing it. Now scared of me, I still get people saying powerful she's doing this in that presence. Now they see it in a people. Not off-putting, I'm not scared in a way they want to come to me for things. Not off-putting on energy, and they want to have a lot of things. That is what has its own powerful presence. Where you're going that is what what job you're in. It doesn't matter when you have that where you're powerful. When you have that, that's gonna get you whatever job. Presence of yourself, people are getting they see it, that's gonna get you whatever job. You know, when you're being people are gonna be able to do it, like the narcissist when when you're being very when you're aggressive, even like the narcissist, when certainly you're being very overmasculated, aggressive, and there's a like underlying current of fear. There's a like underlying current of fear in there. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

The other day I was talking to another guest. I was to Tamara Schmidt, and uh she was the other day I was talking to corporate against uh Tamara Life. Uh we both agree that corporate wall most of her life and feminine both agree energy into the corporate. We need uh we need feminine, we we need another level of consciousness for those guys at the top.

SPEAKER_05 12:27

We need another level of consciousness for those guys at the top to uh when you say uh feminine, and I think some people think that when you think that means like feminine or soft, immediately that is the farthest. So they think that means like weak or soft. And I think that's what a lot of means, you know. Well, that's what they're using. And I think that's what a lot of clients are feminine and they're always thinking, you know, I didn't know. Well, that's what they're using, they're masculine. We are literally feminine creation as it knows. We are extremely powerful, we are literally portal strong creation is your extremely powerful beings. You know, when I do my keynote strong, I always talk about unshakable presence. You know, when I do my keynote, I always talk about all the chaos going on around you. You can stand in a room present and whatever's going on around you, and you stand in presence, and whatever comes out all day don't react to stand in presence.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

So you respond to the case. I mentioned that you hold certifications across modalities across uh why modalities reiki when a client in your time modality to reach for how do you decide in your time which modality to the world?

SPEAKER_05 13:38

It's always channeled through. When I select a modality for a client, it's always the energies of the client, and then when I'm working with them, I feel the energies of the client. And then when I'm working with them, I just do it for so long. I can tell when each person for so long, you know, modality to use. There's an issue going up and I do that combination of body, mindality to use. I do uh combination of body, mind, and spirit. That is personal development, mind change. Then I went to the wheel. Because I started with personal development, but I still have all of this stuff, energy. But I still had all of this stuff in my body. You know, the somatic integration, got us, so it's always channeled through in a group setting, it's the whatever the collective energy is. So it's always channeled through in a group setting.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

And do you have a preferred method to start with and do you have a preferred more right now? You just don't start with going from the beginning, or right now you just want to.

SPEAKER_05 14:42

What I usually do is once I have my uh client or group in front of me. What I usually do is once I have first thing I do is tap in and read their energy. First thing I do is read their energy. Immediately tap in and read their energy. I see what's going on. See where they're at because everybody's in the very first step. And see where they're at. Um, who help people and I think that there's a lot of cookie cutters. Although there's a lot of great programs out there, I don't like to be cookie catters, we're a lot of cookie cutters. We all have different programs. I don't like to be a cookie cattery. We're all different beings. We all have different ways we react to the bigger. And then channeling it and deciding what's going on. Very first stuff is reading their energy, or again, if I'm doing group channeling, deciding what works for each person, or again, if I'm doing group setting up.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

You describe uh on your website that healing is not just possible. You describe uh on your website that healing is possible. So for a woman just spend possible with a decade or so for a woman who spend uh dysfunction a decade or so. This statement might not be dysfunction quite simply to process quite simply with to process this type of um how do you start with this type of uh session with being yes? Do they see something at the end of the session? Do they see something at the end of each session that will encourage them to move forward?

SPEAKER_05 16:05

And the reason I do believe that healing is our birthright to learn. And I do that is because each person is with their energy. So one of the things I do with I give them all the information and it's pretty much exactly what's going on in that. And when they see that, they see that things that you know, okay. And I come to them, this is the time of how they're gonna heal. If you're ready for it, and I explain to them the time this is the time to heal those things, you know. If you're ready for it, you have to go through these things for less than to heal those things. You know, you have to go through these things for less than your birthright to heal, right? But if you choose is your birthright to heal, all right. Some people don't choose so they like to stay in the victimhood, they like to want to get out of victims. They like to learn the same lesson. They don't want to get out of it. People can you know you get the same lesson. I talked to you, it's a lot of personal responsibility for your own. But if you want to I I talked to my clients, if you really want a healing, you don't want to feel this anyway away anymore. If you I really want a healing, you don't want to feel this anyway anymore. I'm not feeling you. All right. You have to be a willing participant and you have to do the things that are a willing participant and you have to do the things that are right to do for you. Who knows maybe it's journaling or I don't know, meditation every day. I might so it's absolutely every woman's right to heal.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

But if they sound like I heard other placebo effects on my podcast saying something for my placebo effect, but they hear I really don't care as long as declining is permanent. I don't know. As long as the healing is permanent, yeah, and they are pleased with the results, I don't care.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

Yeah, to bring the influence in the energy for them to heal themselves. To bring the infrared, that is my gift to heal. I have that channel, and I've learned these modalities. I have that is my kid. Allowing that energy and these modalities to help others that they're essentially you know, allowing myself to heal when I was you know, when I was young and like myself into a foster home when I was, you know, when I was young therapy because I was decided to put into a foster home and then I went to hypnotherapy. And by the third session, I was going to leave this. I changed. But I didn't want to kill myself anymore. And I wanted to stay. And I realized your channel, I didn't want to kill myself. And when that hit I wanted to stay, I didn't realize your mind should change to healing. And when that's why I have so many darkness, I got this certification. That's why I have so many dark certifications. I knew it was my birthright, and I did it. I committed, you know, I knew that healing was my birthright horrific. And I did happen in my childhood and in my young age. I can speak about it. Like it's a story that you told my children. There's no emotional attachment. You know, it's just, you know, it there's no emotional attachment named Heidi. You know, it's just that was a story of a girl named Heidi. Sad story. I don't know her personally. Sad story.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yes. Heidi, you call your work soul remembrance rather than therapy or colour. Heidi, you call your work remembrance rather than determining what you offer and what other people are. Where do you see the boundary? How do you talk about that boundary with your clients? Therapist or enforcement. How do you talk about that boundary with your clients or new clients?

SPEAKER_05 19:34

So I do not believe in talk therapy. Well so and I do not believe talk therapy. Trauma therapist and that's talk about the most licensed trauma therapy. You're recreating things talk about again and pulling up the memories over and over again. You're recreating things over happening and over again and over and over again of the things that you can. And when they say two words in the universe are I know when they say and whatever the most powerful two words in the universe are I am, and whatever follows that, a lot of my work is all about that's why I read people, a lot of my work is all about pulling these traumas out is all about erasing the past, like a computer. I'm wiping the virus off, erasing the past, like like computer reinstalling. Wiping the virus off. So you're remembering. And now we're reinstalling. We really are is not the trauma, not other things that happen to you in a child. We really are not the trauma, not all the things that happened to you in a child. None of that is really called you fat. Now, when none of that when you're continually going to therapists and talking about it and bringing it up, when you're continually going to be able to do it. You're on an endless hamster wheel and you gotta keep going to sleep. It's like you're going to be able to do it. You're on an endless hamster wheel and you gotta keep going to space. But I do start with a six-month time. Let's start at the end of that year in your program. A completely different person. You're not even gonna know the completely different person who locked in. You're not even gonna know that you're not going to walk in the woman who locked in physically. I mean, I you're not going to be a physically changed person physically. I mean, I know like myself, I've physically changed my look. So I think that's the big difference is remembering that you are. I think that's the big difference is remembering you are in a physical body that you are a soul, and all the experiences you had here in a physical body for your highest involvement of your soul. And all the experiences you had, but we hold on to for your highest evolvement of your soul. And make life about it, but we have to do it. Hold on to all this. And I think a lot of the talk about it and the traditional types and I think a lot of the talk there is. Just keeps you in that trauma and keeps you in that victimhood. We don't need to keep talking about what victimhood. We don't need to keep talking about what dad did over and over again. Ever. Unless I'm talking to a client or on a podcast. I don't talk about it. But I've healed it to the point. Unless I'm telling you the client or on a podcast, it doesn't affect me. But I've healed at the point that I want to tell you those things and it doesn't affect me because it's not in my truly came here. That's sole remembrance. Before who I was when I truly came here.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

I know that you also organize uh retreats. Can you give us more? I know that you also organize uh retreats. Can you give us more?

SPEAKER_05 22:14

I'm actually working on doing some co-facilitations for someone looking for some people. I'm actually working on doing some co-facilitations for someone who can co-facilitate with them. I'm actually thinking of women with them. I'm actually thinking of doing one for women. I haven't created that. I'll be doing it in Plato Carmen probably next year. I've been changing a little bit of my focus, I can talk about it here. I've been changing a little bit of my focus, I can talk about it here. For people, I might be spiritual in the Norm atmosphere. Uh people for places like that where they don't know that much about women's association like that, where they don't know that much about spirituality, but they're dipping their toe in the world. I've been around a lot of these people, I see how disregulated they're in and have. I've been around a lot of these people, and I see how dysregulated they see how they're not able to function. So I I came up with some workshops. I see how they're not functioning leading right now. So I came up with some workshops. And I'm going to associations all that they're leading right now. And I'm going to go to the house. But it's not just going to be a good idea. But it's not just going and how you can use it. I learned how to meditate, teaching your energy, the energies that you want, how to meditate, you're projecting the things, uh, the energies that you want, how to little daily resets, things like that. And people are amazed. And then we teach them little daily resets, things like that. People are amazing. I grew up too. You've had a couple days. Oh my god. I grew up too. It was a horrible stressed out day. And then I'm going to go. It was horrible stressed out day. I did the meditation. Came back. I just said I'm high sales. Did it came back and felt highest sales in the last month? Because you can take pills, you can go home and drink wine every night. Really easy. Because you can take pills, you can go home and drink wine every night. Right. Or you can do these easy part of the thing. So that's one of my things I'm focused on. Or doing workshops and hopefully. Doing workshops other than hopefully um doing some colours. Teaching people how to reset their mind and reset their body. Teaching people how to reset their mind and reset their body while teaching the processes on stage. Keynote speeches as well.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Anything else you'd like to mention before we conclude this uh love. Anything else you'd like to mention? Yeah, I believe whoever's listening to this.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

Yeah, I believe whoever's listening to this, you came here for a reason. Please reach out to Time to Heal or anybody that's on Claude's podcast, and please reach out to me, or anybody that's a good thing. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

We'll have all your links in the description. And thank you very much. We'll to my viewers, thank you for watching. Leave a comment, share it, and until next time. To my viewers, thank you for watching, give a comment, share it, and until next time. Love and gratitude.