288 | Define Success Before It Defines You (What Real Estate Agents Get Wrong About Winning)

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What happens when you spend years chasing a definition of success that was never yours to begin with? In this solo episode, Garrett sits down for a direct, conviction-filled conversation about one of the most dangerous traps in real estate: letting the industry define what winning looks like for you.

Garrett unpacks why so many agents feel constantly off-course, distracted by the next lead gen system, the next production goal, or the next "this is where it's at" strategy someone else handed them. The result? A business that grows but a life that shrinks. More closings, less presence. More income, less margin.

Garrett shares the question that changed everything: "Who would you be most proud of five years from now — the guy who made more money but spent more hours doing it, or the guy who figured out how to make the same money in less time so he could actually be present with his family?" That question didn't just redirect his business. It became the foundation for how he defines success today.

Stop building your life around your business and start building your business around your life. For Christian real estate agents navigating the tension between production and presence, this is a message worth sitting with.

Key Takeaways

• The industry's definition of success is not neutral. Real estate celebrates closings, volume, income, and visibility — but almost never talks about time, margin, family, or sustainability. If you're not careful, you'll adopt that scoreboard without ever questioning it.
• Without a destination, you'll follow everyone else's GPS. Agents who don't have a clearly defined picture of success are the most susceptible to being redirected — by a broker, a coach, a trend, or a top producer.
• Define your life first, then build the business to fit it. Most agents do this backwards. Start with the questions that actually matter, then reverse-engineer the business from there.
• Constraints aren't limitations — they're clarity. Every other profession in the world has office hours. Doctors. Dentists. Plumbers. You're allowed to have them too. Protecting your time isn't unprofessional
• Success is not just what you achieve — it's what your life looks like while you achieve it. A big production year that costs you your marriage, your presence with your kids, or your peace of mind isn't a win.
• You may look different, and that's okay. Choosing a life-first definition of success might mean making less money in the short term, hearing pushback from a broker, or not fitting the industry mold, but it's far better in the long run.

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Transcript

 We didn't have a plan to begin with, so we are so easily swayed into any direction because someone else is going to tell us what we need to do and what winning looks like. This trap that starts to happen. We start chasing that next level, the next goal, the next milestone, the next lead gen system, quote unquote. Thinking that once I get there or once I implement this, things are going to get better. Things will slow down. Once I hit this milestone, I'll be able to stop and spend more time with my family. But what happens? They don't slow down. Nothing changes because the game itself is built on more equals better. One of the most dangerous things you can do in real estate is when a game you never meant to play, because the industry has a definition of success, and if you're not careful, you'll adopt it without ever questioning it. So today I want to talk about how the industry defines success. Why? That definition quietly breaks a lot of people, and how to create your own definition of success, one that actually aligns with your life, your faith, your values, and your calling. Because if you don't define success, someone else will do it for you. All right, what's this podcast without a Christian dad joke? What did Moses say when he came down the mountain and saw the Israelites worshipping a golden calf? Holy cow! Early in my career. I remember another agent coming up to me wanting my opinion on something they were considering doing in their business. They were excited, they were passionate, and they started to share with me what their idea was to, they thought, generate more business, but it was going to take a lot of time. It was honestly more ego driven than it was activity driven. I don't know that it would have actually worked. It could. Anything could work. But I wasn't convinced that this was going to work. And so I simply asked him this question. Keep in mind, he's a brother in Christ. He had two kids at home. I simply asked them this question why would you do it? And he looked at me and was surprised that I asked him that question. And so I said again, why would you do this? What's the reasoning behind it? And he looked at me like I was crazy. And he said, what do you mean, I don't know? Sounds like a good idea. And I remember telling him, that's fine, but if you don't have clear purpose, if you don't understand exactly what you're trying to accomplish, someone else is going to get you to accomplish what they want you to do, and you'll never get to your own task. Put a different way. We spend so much time helping others achieve their goals. We never get to achieving our own goal. Why? Because ours are not clearly defined. So the question is why would you do this? In real estate, success usually is defined by more closings in volume and income and growth and visibility. Right. And none of those things are bad. You get it. You're an agent. But here's the problem. There's almost no conversation around time or margin or family or peace or sustainability or anything like that. And we've been talking about that. The industry celebrates production, but it ignores the cost. And so we get into conversations like the one I just shared about my agent friend, faithful agent who has this great idea. But when I ask him, why would you do it? He can't answer it other than I think this could be really cool. Sunday school teacher asks the children to draw the picture pathway. She goes over to one student and says she's drawn the picture. You know where she was trying to go? Everything. What is this a good idea to get there? Mary and Joseph? Here's the reality. And most of us live that way too, in our business. Well, who's the most of us would be terrible pilots. What do I mean? Pilot? Most pilots, right? When they sit down and they're getting ready to take off. Not most all of them when they get ready to take off. And they're leaving from Richmond, Virginia, and they're flying out to Denver, Colorado. Guess what? They know where they're starting and they know where they're heading and they're going to get there. But most planes actually spend something like 90% of their time off track, but they always land in the right place. What do agents do? Agents leave from Richmond, Virginia. We're on our way to Denver, Colorado. And then one of our pilot friends, our agent friends, calls and says, no, no, no, you don't want to go to Denver. You need to come to Dallas, Texas. That's where it's at, right? Zillow leaves. We should do that. And so. Oh, okay, let's do that. And we shift our direction. Now we're we're heading our plane towards Dallas, Texas. And then we get a call from somebody like no, no, no, no, no, you don't want to do that. You want to be in Orlando, Florida. That's where things are happening, right? You need to worry about Google SEO and we oh okay. You're right. And we shift our plane that direction and we start heading to Orlando. There's one more call and they're like, no, no, no, you need to come to Paris. Which that sounds awesome, but you need to come to Paris because Paris is the social media videos. You need to become a social media star. That's how you're going to grow your business. Oh, yeah, let's do that. And we shift. And so we didn't have a plan to begin with. So we are so easily swayed into any direction because someone else is going to tell us what we need to do and what winning looks like. So what actually happens? This trap that starts to happen. We start chasing that next level, the next goal, the next milestone, the next lead gen system, quote unquote, thinking that once I get there or once I implement this, things are going to get better. Things will slow down. Once I hit this milestone, I'll be able to stop and spend more time with my family. But what happens? They don't slow down. Nothing changes because the game itself is built on more equals better. I remember in 2021 I had to ask myself, sitting outside planning my business, what it was going to look like. My team was bigger. We were in pursuit of these bigger things. I needed to do more deals, make more money, have higher volume in GCI, get a better ranking. Why? Because all I was looking around was what is the definition of success in this industry? And that's what it was. How many homes were you selling? How big was your team? All those things. But I finally paused and I and I asked myself this question. I believe the Lord gave me this question. Garrett, who would you be most proud of five years from now? The guy who made more money but spent more hours doing it, or the guy who figured out how to make the same money you're making now, but do it in less time so you can spend more time with your kids and not miss them growing up. Well, the answer to that question was really obvious. And that question changed everything because I created then came back up to my office and I created my scoreboard, my own definition of success. I said, I'm leaving Richmond, I'm going to Denver, and I don't care if there's really fun things along the way and people want me to come to Dallas, or they want me to come to Orlando or Paris, I'm going to Denver, right? Because that's what success is going to look like to me. I chose my own definition. And so though I am still influenced, right? I'm a human. I'm still influenced by these things. I have a guiding direction. This is where I'm trying to head. I want to make this much money. I want to do it in this many hours so I can spend this much time with my family, take this much time off, be with my kids, this much. This is what I'm trying to do. Closing day is a win for you, but for your clients kids leaving their first home can be a tough transition. As realtors, we don't just sell houses, we help families find where they belong. That's why I love We Are Home When We're Together by Jean Stoffer and Grace dart from Magnolia Network. This beautiful picture book helps children embrace the change of a move. It's the perfect, meaningful resource to recommend, or even include in your next closing gift to show you care about the whole family. We Are Home When We're Together is available now on Amazon. Order a copy today. Your clients and their little ones will thank you. So here's what I want you to hear. You are allowed to define success differently than the industry, you are allowed to define success differently than your broker. You are allowed to define success differently than your team leader. You can want strong income and strong presence at home. You can build a business that grows without it consuming your life. Because success is not just what you achieve, it's what your life looks like while you achieve it. Success is not just what you achieve. It's what your life looks like while you achieve it. So how do you define your version of success? Here's what I want you to do. Step one. Start with your life, not your business. Most agents build their life around their business. You need to reverse it. Build your business around your life. Ask questions like what kind of spouse do I want to be? What kind of parent do I want to be? What kind of life do I actually want to live? What are the important things that I need to show up for? I'm going to design everything around that. And then step two define your constraints. Because constraints create clarity. Too often in this industry, we're taught you got to be 24 over seven if you want to have good customer service. That's totally untrue, because if I can't take care of my family, I certainly can't take care of their family. So you've got to have protections on your time in every other business in the world is protected like that. The doctor has office hours, the dentist has office hours, the financial advisor has office hours, the plumber has office hours. We're not supposed to have office hours. This is how the world works. Constraints create clarity, so you define the constraints on your time. For example, maybe you say I don't work nights or I don't work Sundays, or I don't work during dinnertime, or I take vacations without being on call. Imagine that I can put my phone away. I turn my phone off. For me personally, 430 during the week, every single day for 30, and I don't turn it back on till 530. Why? I want to come downstairs. I want to be present with my kids. That's why you get to define those constraints. And I promise you, you're not as important to the world as you think you are. If you're gone for a little bit, the world's not going to blow up. It will be okay. Plus, do we trust the Lord enough that if we protect the things that matter, that he'll protect our business? We gotta ask ourselves that question, too. Hey, agents, I get it. You feel the pressure when you're at work, that you're not at home, and you feel the pressure when you're home because you're not at work. And most of us have convinced ourselves that if I want to double my sales, it's going to take double the amount of time. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from agents that say, well, I only have six hours a day, I can't go sell more houses or someone that says, I need to make more money, but I can't be gone more from my family. And we become conditioned by the industry that that's the only solution, that in order to make more money, we have to spend more hours doing it. And I'm here to tell you that's not true. There's a better way we can simplify, we can leverage, and we can protect family time. And I want to help you do that, and I want to do it with you. That's why I created the make more miss less virtual accelerator to help you actually do the side by side to walk you through the process of simplifying, of leveraging or protecting what matters most. Because I want you to make more money and miss less family time. If this describes you, if this is an area in your business, in your life where you feel like maybe you're wrestling and you're not sure which direction to go a little bit confused on what comes next, I want you to come to this virtual accelerator. It's $97, but for you, because you're a podcast listener, I'm going to give it to you half off. And the only reason it cost anything, because I know if you pay, you pay attention and I want you to show up and actually change your business and change your life. So I hope that you will come sign up for the Make More Miss Less virtual accelerator. It's coming on Thursday, May 7th from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. eastern, $97. But for you it is half off. Use the Code podcast at signup. Go to Agent Comm. That's faithful. Agent Comm. You can grab your ticket, use Code podcast and get 50% off. I hope to see you there. It's time to change your life. And finally, step three build the business to then fit that life. Not the other way around. This is where we have systems and leverage and structure. All those things come in because most agents don't need a bigger business. They need a better designed business. They don't need a bigger business. They need a better design business. Go back to the April 7th episode. I talked about the practical steps to double your sales without doubling your time. That will give you some more insight to that. In. Come to my virtual accelerator on May 7th, because we're going to be building this out together. But look, this is where it gets hard, because when you choose your version of success, you may at first make less money. It's possible. You may make less money. You may look different. You may not fit the industry mold. In fact, I've been told many times from an agent friends that their broker came to them and said, you need to be selling more homes. And they said, well, I want to be home more often in the broker wasn't okay with that. People might look at you differently. It's a different way for you to pursue your business and say, you know what matters most. What actually matters most is my family, and I'm going to choose that first and then I'll build around that. It's going to look weird. Trust me, I have that. I've had those conversations with people. People have asked me that question, but what I want you to remember is you'll be building something you can actually sustain. You'll be building something that not only honors the Lord, but it honors your family. It honors why you got into this in the first place? To create a better life for the people that you love. And you know what? That life needs to include you being present with them. Something you can actually sustain. And at the end of your career. I've said it before, no one's going to care how many homes you sold if it cost you everything that mattered most. The goal is not to win the industry's game. It's to win the right game. You get to define what that is. So if you've never actually defined what success looks like for you, I want to challenge you to do that this week. And if you're listening to this and you're out showing houses, well, don't worry you listening to this. If you're showing houses, you're driving to the next show and you're driving to a home inspection, you're driving your kids around. Whatever it is, I want you to stop when you get the next free moment. Just stop and block off 20 minutes in your calendar this week. And I want you to ask yourselves those questions. Go through those steps because clarity here changes everything else when you know where you're trying to go. You know how to get there. You're not going to be on track all the time. Just like going from Richmond to Denver. The pilot's not on track 90% of the time, but where do they land? They land in Denver. It's okay. You're not going to be on track the whole time, but clarity on where I'm starting and where I want to go changes everything else. And if you want to help building a business like that, come to my intensive go to faithful agent.com. I want to help you because I care about you. I care about your life and I care about your kids. I want you to make more money and miss less time with your family, because that's not a trade off worth making. We can do both. And I want to help you do that. Faithful agent. Register for that. Let's spend a couple hours together. I want to build that alongside you. It's 97 bucks, but use code podcast. I'll give you a half off. I don't care about the money. It's that if you pay, you pay attention. And I want you to pay attention because this can change so many things. I love you, faithful agents. I will see you next time. Go to faithful agent.com. Register for that intensive. I can't wait to see you there. Hey Christian agent, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If it resonated, would you take 30s and share it with another agent who's also trying to grow their business without losing their faith, family, or peace? That's how this message spreads. And if you haven't yet, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss future episodes. I release new ones each Thursday to help you build success that actually lasts. It genuinely fires me up knowing this podcast is helping you pursue excellence to the glory of God, both at work and at home. I'll meet you back here next week for another episode of The Faithful Agent.