Arsenio's ESL Podcast

Arsenio's ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker - Alara from Turkey

June 29, 2019 Season 4
Arsenio's ESL Podcast
Arsenio's ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker - Alara from Turkey
Chapters
Arsenio's ESL Podcast
Arsenio's ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker - Alara from Turkey
Jun 29, 2019 Season 4
Arsenio Buck
International Guest Speakers
Show Notes Transcript

After bringing Alara on Motivational Mentors (my other podcast), I heard her accent and asked her where she was from (at the very beginning). She said Turkey and BOOM! Just like that! I knew i had to bring her on, especially with the amount of energy she has!

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Speaker 1:
0:01
Guys. Oh fuck it. Back to ours. Any ELLs? Esl podcast is a special day. Oh my goodness. I'm so excited about this. A special human being I got on the other, her name is [inaudible] know what I brought her on. We're actually Luke and I post a motivational mentors. We brought her on and she was talking about this accelerated coaching and this and that, and before the podcast even started asset Alara, where are you from? She said, I'm from Turkey. I said, oh, it's all yes at Turkey. This is the first time I brought on one of my Turkish folk. So man, uh, Laura, thank you so much for coming on today.
Speaker 2:
0:40
Hey, nice. Nice to be on. I love the intro. You sound like a Latin. You should be playing a lot in, in that new upcoming film. I'm telling you didn't, we'll split take that role. Yeah. Oh, this officially it could come eat, but have you been a pretty sending a pick a chest?
Speaker 1:
0:56
Yeah, that's why I'm like, man, you offered to hell will Smith. You have to pay me half of that and I'll go on. But Laura, tell us about your background in general and then of course being brought up in Turkey is in that transition. It's going to be a hell of a journey today. So Phyllis.
Speaker 2:
1:18
All right. Well, so I was, um, I was, I was born in Turkey. My Dad, this Turkey shit, my mom's English, so they met on a romantic holiday. Um, and yes, so I was, I kind of lived in Turkey until I was 16, uh, which was an amazing childhood, but also so different to when I moved to England when I was 16 to do, to continue my education. Uh, incredibly different culture, uh, incredibly different experiences, incredible friends. But yeah, so since since 16, I've kind of been based in England. I went traveling a little bit, but um, I now have kind of like long term relationship and doing well at all the stuff all in England. So, um, yeah. But I actually just came back from visiting Turkey like a month ago, so it's always my home, I would say,
Speaker 1:
2:09
man, awesome. You know, what is this crazy? Being able to transition like that. I forced one of my students, as a matter of fact, she was on my podcast a while back, her name was Kim Kim. She was at the age of 14 butter. Her fluency and spoken language was just so solid and I was like, you don't need to be here in Tyler. She's like, where am I going to go? So we did a ton of research and she ended up moving to Singapore and got her ba by the age of 18. So I try like for I know gifts in some people and I'm like, okay, so I'm going to kind of push you right out of your comfort zone. You're going to go to Singapore. Um, but you know what you um, being at the age you are or whatnot, first and foremost, I want to pinpoint some things. You say you want it the further your education out there in England. Why Not Turkey?
Speaker 2:
2:57
Yeah, well, so the education in Turkey is very general. So like up until basically up until you go g unit allude of subjects, you know, sorry, you're not allowed to know down at all. And I was just being overwhelmed. The second thing is I, I, I knew that the education that England was going to be more international, more universal. Um, so, and that basically opened them up for two more up more opportunities, which it did. Um, and I know that from my friends that stayed in Turkey to go to uni, it was, it's much harder to get international, um, just because of the, some of the beliefs that are installed into you when you're in the education system in Turkey, which is, you know, kind of my gig. So it's really interesting to look back on it now, you know, compare how, by the time I felt I left Uni in England, I felt incredibly empowered to just go and do whatever I wanted.
Speaker 2:
3:57
Um, whereas I think it's a really different story in, in Turkish University. So, so I, I kind of knew that and because my mum's English, she was really good at, she, I was lucky to for her to be able to give me insight into kind of the education in England. Um, and it kind of also acted as like a doorway for me to go to England because it was my mom's English. It kind of made that route really easy for me. Um, and I know that everyone doesn't have that privilege. I was lucky enough to, to be able to go to England and not have too much trouble about kind of being a student here and living here. Um, yeah, I mean, my, the biggest difference that I would say in kind of Turkish education versus English up until, you know, when I was at, so I was there and uh, basically until high school, so like I was two years into high school, so 16.
Speaker 2:
4:48
Um, and the main difference was that everything was just so much harder. Like in England, they expect to do more practical stuff, whereas in Turkey there's hardly practical, but there's just so much information. Like there's stuff that I learned at Uni in England that I was like, oh, we did this, a high school in Turkey. So I mean in that sentence went up by the time I came to do my a levels in the UK, which is kind of what you do from 16 to 18. Um, I was like, yeah, all the maths, I've got it sorted, all the physics, I've got it sorted. Like, you know, so there was, it was just funny how, how advanced they are in like the academic knowledge of some stuff because I guess that's like what they, their version of educating is just like pile in the knowledge.
Speaker 2:
5:39
Yeah. Okay. So that sounds just like Thailand of course, when it comes to universities, like if a tie graduate, a university here, it's not like graduated from university abroad. Right. So that's why a lot of them, you know, if they have the, and you know, parents and whatnot, they say, Hey, well, just, just stay, stay as far as weight, stay off as far as way as you can from Asia. And so, um, when it came to the beliefs, I really wanted to get into that. Now, what do you mean by the beliefs of the Turkish education system? Well, um, there is a lot of assumptions that I'll probably be making, well not question but go ahead fire away.
Speaker 2:
6:29
So it kind of felt like, well while being educated in Turkey that you were being educated for a specific job. Like, you know, I guess this is kind of the same in a lot of cultures. Like you know, it's kind of, they ask you what jobs do you want to do? Like what do you want to be when you grew up? So I didn't really feel empowered in terms of kind of getting the skills and learning skills. It was very knowledge based. It was like if you are, if you know something then that means you're successful students. So it was really about kind of memorizing information rather than finding stuff out for yourself or kind of. Um, so I've got really good at just, uh, memorizing stuff and I don't, I thought maybe that would be, you know, like that up until middle school. But high school stuff would start changing that start to help us think more critically and an eye.
Speaker 2:
7:18
First Day of high school, I, you know, the teacher said something, I've lived, I raised my hand. I said, well, isn't that like not entirely true because blah blah blah. I realized that that was pretty everyday. Uh, you know, as a teacher you just think like, oh, what a newer tool. But the reason for that was I've lived, I raised my hand and I kind of lost that kind of questioned what she was saying was because up until then, you know, you were students at what you are meant to believe in what you're meant to take as truth. And I really wanted to get to the point to be in an environment where we can question that. And I was just kind of like testing the waters. Like, oh, it's high school and area where I can do that or other, is it kind of the same?
Speaker 2:
7:56
And as she just, she just shut me straight down. Like I said something like, oh, she's like, wow, if you questions stuff like that, then you're never going to be successful. The fast start, you know, something like that. And I just sat down. She ended up being quite an annoying teacher anywhere. Like I didn't get on with her as a teacher, but just, I was like, okay, turns out high school isn't somewhere where we can seem critically knowing from my friends that also went to uni, like the same kind of thing. And uh, you know, I don't want to get too much into the politics or the political situation. Turkey isn't one where they, uh, they really weren't a whole nation of critical thinkers that go and just get what they want and have new ideas and think out of the box and all of that. It doesn't really serve them the way that the politics is operating at the moment. Um, so it really, it was really kind of, I would say refreshing now, but when I first came to the UK, it was pretty daunting when they started to ask us to think critically. I was like, what? I mean think critically, like, you know, just tell me what to do.
Speaker 2:
9:00
Right. I feel like the belief that, uh, the general belief that is kind of tried to be tried to fit into you, it's kind of, you can't do a something on your own in Turkey. Like, you know, if you want to do something that's different, you've really have to really have to have quite for it and kind of probably not going to get too much support, like official support. Um, so, so there's not, it's not a very literal, it's not environment. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so, so I guess that's kind of the belief, the main underlying current that I felt into. He kind of like just do, just do what you know works. Uh, this has been done before, just kind of followed the crowd kind of thing. Um, and I was just such a stark contrast when I went, came to the UK. I've kind of like at uni everything was like, we're going to give you any of the answers you have to find out for yourself.
Speaker 2:
9:54
I mean I didn't do very well in, in, in my first year here cause it was just a whole adaptation period where I was, I really was still expecting to be spoon fed. So I don't know. Does that answer your question or have I just, yeah, I mean jagged. Yeah, go ahead. You just took us on a journey. Like I said, you know what? It's crazy math. This is the biggest problem with the education system. Education is created to create workers, not seeing teachers in America. They are not able to teach about money and how to make money. The government has been that from all curriculum around the country. Listening is crazy. Oh my goodness gracious. It's crazy isn't it? But I still like the, you know, there are people around the world setting up their own business, making millions and I'm not saying everyone should become a millionaire, but it's just the belief around money and how much money you can actually earn and how much money is abundant out there, um, is really, uh, limited.
Speaker 2:
10:57
Like, you know, this, this scarcity mindset around, you know, there's only a limited amount of money. So you better get a job and get paid good money and like good money is like in the, when compared to the actual attendance of money that people can earn when you know, when they kind of break free of these beliefs about how scarce money is. It really is crazy. I think this isn't necessarily something that's specific to the Turkish education system, but this kind of idea that money is scarce so you better fight hard to get like a really good job that's going to be really stressful, but at least it will pay you like, or decent wage. Um, yeah. And I guess that that comes from feeding people knowledge of information rather than skills. You know, that that also enhances that whole idea that yeah, the scarcity mindset I guess. Right. You started questioning a lot of things that are very, very young age. So I know when you went into the UK and being in that environment, how much of a shock was it, you know, being in the classroom and being shut down by a teacher, they'd go into the UK and being able to free think.
Speaker 2:
12:13
Yeah, I mean, I would say I understood the concept of thinking freely and everything and I was pretty lucky because my mum's English, like the family environment that I was brought up in, I was very free to express my opinions, you know, talk about feelings, question, authority, like all of that thing. Like I was, I was really lucky kind of to have that for in a family environment even though it didn't have it in my education when I had been exposed to being able to think freely. And uh, I think my thoughts think out the box. I was always kind of like the black duck really in anyway. So when the transition was interesting because I knew that it was the right thing, you know, I knew it was the right way to go, but I also felt like it felt uncomfortable to, you know, it's one thing actually be like, yeah, express your thoughts, we'll listen to you as a family.
Speaker 2:
13:08
And it's another thing kind of, um, expressing your thoughts and actually that might have an impact on, uh, you know, it might impact university go to where it might impact, you know, the, the teachers might be like, yeah, that, what's that thing you're questioning actually is true. So, so this whole idea that when I question stuff, it does affect the outside world was a bit daunting because I was like, yeah, I just thought, you know, expressing yourself just to make yourself feel good. You know, like, you know, just being able to talk about your feelings, it was a whole new dimension in the UK about when you express yourself and express your thoughts and your questions, stuff that can change the outcome of stuff. It can change, you know, the impact of the work that you're doing. It can change the way that people see things.
Speaker 2:
13:51
So it was more that, that, that I kind of, um, not had a hard time adjusting with, but it was, that was a new part for me. Um, yeah, so like the two years at a levels when I was 16, 17, basically 18, I graduated when I was 18 for me levels. Um, it was an adaptation period for me, so I didn't really make many friends and the friends I did make, it was kind of, um, you know, we just kind of sitting next to each other in class or something and we just kind of ended up hanging out together. I didn't, I've really kind of felt like I'd lost my sense of identity because up until then, uh, you know, I didn't really know like, what is identity versus what is my beliefs versus what is my values. Like all of them were just a big mess, you know, as it is with all teenagers, like who knows who they really are when you're teenager, but like, um, but I think that the stock contrast in the culture and in the way that teenagers interacted with each other, uh, really allowed me to understand what he's really me.
Speaker 2:
14:53
Like, what doesn't change when the top two changes and what is just beliefs that the, that is kind of, um, given by the culture? So I think it was, uh, uh, you know, for me it was a really big personal development journey. Like I had to grow pretty quickly, um, because I was exposed, I actually saw, um, okay, I am not the beliefs that I've been fed at school. Uh, because right now they're changing. So who am I? And it kind of asked me to get me to ask some more important questions of, um, you know, what, what is, what is it, what is it that I bring with me wherever I go, whatever the external world is doing that stays the same. And what is, uh, what is it that I used to think? Well, it's kind of my identity, but it's actually just stuff that the accident, like the layers of the onion and what is it that just changes depending on the environment that you're interested in? Um,
Speaker 1:
15:42
yeah,
Speaker 2:
15:43
it was a
Speaker 1:
15:44
really,
Speaker 2:
15:46
yeah, I mean, enlightening. I guess. So by the time, that's why a levels was a bit of a mush period for me. Like I didn't necessarily love it. It was, it wasn't
Speaker 2:
15:55
easy time for me, but it was a time of, but it wasn't easy because I was asking all these questions, which I wasn't sure about the answers to. So it was a whole time of, you know, uh, when the, when the Caterpillar is becoming a butterfly analogy, like I was in the cocoon and not really knowing like what I am. Um, but like good, good transitions are happening. So by the time I went to uni, I really felt like, okay, I feel a bit more whole now. And the friendships I developed was I developed them because of, uh, you know, I was attracting people that, that I wanted to be around. So they were more kind of consciously developed friendships I guess
Speaker 1:
16:31
because I was more aware, conscious, loving. Why was your days? That's a very important point. That's a very important point for a lot of people out there because you became consciously aware of who you were. You started having those consciously aware people around you. See that's how it was when I first traveled abroad to Australia. And I remember being around and seen an entire new life. Australians like another planet to me. So when I came back and even when I came back from living in Australia after, you know, my, my first two years of traveling there before when I came back in 2012 living in Las Vegas, that was not, that was just parasite. I just could not stay there any longer because I just felt that there was nothing else for me there. I just felt like I was a much level, a much like higher level thinker, you know. So you are experienced in this between 16 and 18 years old.
Speaker 2:
17:26
Yeah, basically. I mean I was, I was also bullied while I, you know, I live because I didn't, um, when I moved to the UK, my family stayed in Turkey, so I was living with a host family and so somebody staying with, there was also like, she had five adopted kids, shit who are the hosts students. So there was like eight of us kids in this house with one woman. So we have all different ages. So yeah. And, and because I was kind of like a bit of a in that much stage of like not knowing who I was, I didn't know how to stand up for myself either because I didn't know what I was standing up for, if that makes sense. So, uh, yeah, like I was, I was bullied pretty badly in that house and I left and I moved into another house.
Speaker 2:
18:12
So all of this self esteem being a teenager, like wanting a boyfriend. When did you make friends? Like who am I new culture that all of that it was kind of all kind of came together, uh, during that time period. So yeah, I guess it wasn't only the fact that it was a culture change as well, but um, like being away from home probably also contributed to it as well. Oh my God. So, uh, okay. Wait, so you were living in Turkey, went to the UK, you lived in a home with dating other people, correct? Yeah, basically. And you were boots on what types of, you know, you said okay, you had a number of adopted people yes. And foster children and some, were they all from the UK and that's why they were bullying you or were they different shapes, different colors, sizes, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 2:
19:04
Yeah, so they were actually from Africa. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So, uh, there had been, I think it was a Caribbean woman that was living in the UK. What the hell? Who had adopted five African kids? Well, they weren't kids. I think it varied from like 11 until 18. Um, so obviously their culture was really different. So I was trying to be in a house of kind of an African he culture while adapting to a country and a school of English culture. So I think the, the bullying nature came from the fact that I just was so in a mush stage of like, I didn't know what identity I was, uh, that they, they kind of, they kind of could see that. And I guess it started first as Banta as it always does it usually in bullying anyway. Um, that just, you know, because I couldn't put up my barriers, like put up my boundaries, like the band to kind of turned into, you know, uncomfortable and are more and more and, and uh, yeah. So it was interesting in the sense that they were kind of, they were kind of bringing the African culture into the house. It was a very kind of, you know, I fricken is, are quite out there. They'll just say everything you know, that comes to mind and you know, English or very kind of, almost opposite in a quote.
Speaker 2:
20:39
Right. Say something even if just in case it might sound rude. Um, yes. So, so this kind of, again, a contrast I guess between home life and school life. But the second house I moved to, it was, it was an extremely English households, so bit more congruent.
Speaker 1:
20:59
Oh, right, right, right. So was that when you moved there, did you start discovering new things about yourself and what not? Like your basically your barriers, you had a four to five fortress that you were up against or let's just say you had that around you at all times or you were just trying to protect yourself from all the crazy bullying, the bullying stuff that these, uh, these good old, my, my, my wonderful Africans were imposing on you at the time. But then when you went to a British household, uh, well was there anything that you were like, okay, this is much better. It, you know, like, you know, the entire system in general, you know, their values, their beliefs, what they did, the routines and stuff like that. It was easier to adapt to it.
Speaker 2:
21:41
Yeah, I mean, study the bullying really was a blessing in disguise because like, you know, midnight one straight into a household where I've been like easy enough alive. It did mean that I had to not grow boundaries, but almost that that learning had to be cut me quicker than it might have normally had been. Because you know, in Turkey when I was living in Turkey, I was kind of under the wing of my parents. Right. So the boundaries were being set by the parents. If something went wrong, they will protect you, kind of that kind of environment, which is great. And you know, my, my dad is also really into personal development. So he's kind of talking about emotions, talking about, you know, questioning stuff. I was going to put in questions like this. This is all kind of stuff that I had been familiar with from my childhood.
Speaker 2:
22:27
But when I came to England because I hadn't been exposed to anything other than my parents' way of doing it. Oh. Like specifically my dad's way of questioning the world, um, I almost felt like I had to do it exactly like him. So I was finding myself asking like, okay, and this living situation, how would my dad react? Okay. And this other situation that is hard for me, how would my dad rent? So I was always trying to think in the mind of my dad, which I quickly realized didn't make all my problems go away, which was a huge realization for me because in Turkey, when my dad's perception of the world was working for me because uh, you know, he was the one implementing it when I came to England and I tried to be my dad, basically it didn't work. So I made the realization, number one, I am not my dad.
Speaker 2:
23:11
It might, you know, when he does, you know, when my dad is beating my dad, it works because he's being authentic. But like when I'm trying to be my dad, it's not just about what you say and what you do. It actually is about how much aligns with who you are. So I was like, I am not my dad. And if I, if I do what my dad does, it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to lead to the same results he did it. So, um, that was a really big realization during the bullying because I was trying to deal with the bullying like my dad would have. And it just didn't because it didn't suit my character. Um, w you know, the bullying continued that it didn't make a stop. So I was like, oh, so when I, um, when I moved to the new house, I moved with this like realization that, okay, you like you, it's not, it wasn't even a luxury.
Speaker 2:
23:59
I was like, you have to figure out who you are because otherwise you're not going to be able to set, set your boundaries. Because I knew that like if I knew who I was, then I knew my boundaries than in a bullying situation, I will be able to kind of hold them, hold my boundaries. Right. But I was trying to hold my dad's boundaries who weren't mine. It wasn't my own boundaries. So it didn't, it wasn't effective. Right. So in this new house would be pretty far fetched to say that I figured out straight away. But I do remember, um, you know, at first when I first moved, I was everyday I was like doing makeup and uh, you know, trying to, sorry, I lost you. Are you there?
Speaker 2:
24:47
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm still here. Okay. I'll say, I'll say in again. Sorry. All right, good. Yeah, I was just saying in the new house that I moved into, like it would be pretty far fetched to say that I like figured out who I was instantly. But I realized that I was kind of, up until then I was hiding who I was because I was, you know, by doing lots of makeup or everyday life by doing a fancy hairstyle or like trying to dress like how I thought English girls should dress like. So I was trying to like create this image of what I thought I should be like to be accepted because that's what I really craved. And once, once I wrote this bullying thing happen, then I realized that being someone else didn't work, it wasn't effective. I kind of gave up on the whole makeup and look pretty and look like an English girl.
Speaker 2:
25:31
Kind of tried to put an image up that idea as well because the message that I received was if you're trying to be someone else, like it's not effective. So, um, it really kind of motivated me to figure out, okay, who all I and I, you know, I have to believe in line with this new person. Um, so yeah. So I actually on my, I think on my 17th birthday, my 18th birthday, I had really long hair up until then and I kind of saw it as a curse in that I could hide behind. Like I could put it next to me or even my shoulder isn't gonna let hide behind it. So just chopped off all my hair and let had really short hair style. On my 17th birthday I went, uh, and let had a whole wardrobe makeover of buying just closed that are like, that I want to buy, not what I think looks good.
Speaker 2:
26:14
Um, yes, in this new household I was, I was just kind of, it just gave me a, it gave me a new start, give you a new start, basic, I've kind of put a fresh page and cut up all your hair and you know, so you see, I guess the cutting off the hat actually have the kind of the uh, you know, it's obviously it's cutting off hand, but it also had the deeper meaningful me of, I can't hide behind anymore. You know, I had to be competent and own who I was and I, and it did have, I did have that emotional shift for it because I was going everywhere with short hair. I had to kind of own, you know, who I was. Um, so yeah, so my second year at a levels kind of, I was, I was much, much, or in line with who I was then. I was, you know, compared to my first year, obviously it's a long journey, but, um, that, that is where the, the shift happened for me or where I've realized, okay, being someone else isn't working now what?
Speaker 2:
27:19
Wow Man. What his story. I mean that is because this is so much unfold out. You do write a book on this too. Especially Alana, you got to write something on this like this. It sounds important, I guess. I guess until you tell us something, we don't realize it. Yeah. And then, yeah, I mean, I guess amazing part. Yeah. Because I mean, what, what ended up happening, did you end up going to university out there in the UK too? Right. And is this the story of how I became a coach? Is that what you're asking? Well, no. Did you end up going to like university out there and then you, did you go into coach? How did you find that? How did you, how did you end up finding, finding coaching? Because of course, obviously school isn't going to prepare you for that. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:
28:05
So what ended up like, well I did, I actually went off, went off and studied geology. Yeah. Um, and I was, I was trying to make that decision from an empowered place of, you know, I don't want to just go with the norm of like, oh, I'll go study medicine or whatever. Um, so, so it was, you know, I was either wanting to study, done or do geology because my thinking was, which has kind of changed from then until now. But you know, if you have a passion, make that passion your job. Like it was, it was a very kind of, um, direct translation of, you know, if you know, what, whether is your passion just followed that man. But actually it now, now that I think about it, it really is about, it's not about what you do as your passion, it's about why you do that passion.
Speaker 2:
28:58
So like, you know, for example, I love dancing because I love expressing myself. So actually now that I look back on it, it's the expressing myself part that I wanted to carry on into my profession, not the dancing part, if I, you know, so I don't know if that kind of makes sense, but I thought it was the dancing part that I wanted to pursue as a profession. But actually it's the heartware I'm expressing myself, but I wanted to continue to my profession. So like not what you do, which is advancing, but why you do it. So I think this is one of the major things that is kind of almost wrong with, with the education system. It's like what is your passion? Focus on what you do and then do that as a job rather than why you do it. And it could take that why into a job, find a job or a career line or whatever that has that why in it.
Speaker 2:
29:47
Um, so, so for example, yes. So from dancing it was the expressing myself, I loved expressing myself and from geology. I love being in nature and I love using my brain and let you know, being stimulated, actually discovering new stuff. Because in geology, you're basically uncovering the history of the earth by looking at rocks. So it's like, it's, it's really interesting because your, um, you're using your brain and you're using the knowledge and the skills that you have to come up with a story, come up with an interpretation of something that could be quite meaningful by looking at the levels of oxygen. Oxygen, 16 bus stops, you donating in a rock. You can tell the climate of the Jurassic for example, which means you can tell what temperature it was when the dinosaurs died, which means you can tell like, you know, if it was a volcano or if it was whatever.
Speaker 2:
30:37
So, um, it's, it's really interesting how you can extract these things if you use your knowledge and your skills in the right way. So my why, why I love doing geology was kind of be out in nature. Use Your brain, uh, but basically think critically. So now that I think about it, it was the thing that I wanted in my career that would make me fulfilled is I want to express myself. Uh, well I want to, uh, you know, be it be connected to nature and I want to use my brain critically and also like working with people one on one is also another thing that I love as well. But no one actually taught me to connect to those wires. Like no one asked me, why do you like doing it? Everyone was just asking like, what do you want to do? Like, what do I want to do while I do geology levels?
Speaker 2:
31:21
I do don't say levels, so I'm either going to study dance uni or I'm going to study geology at Uni. So it was kind of like black and whites in that sense. And I, and I did feel that there was some kind of incongruence there. Like it did feel like, oh, it feels a bit too straight forward. You know, like, I studied dance ever, I'll be a dancer. I said, did you go to do that for all? Be a geologist. But you know, there wasn't, I wasn't really exposed to any other options. So that's kind of why I went with geology in the end because, um, you know, like, Oh, you know, this better a of getting a job in geology than there is in dance. Um, so that's kind of the thinking process that the, that went through.
Speaker 2:
31:59
Yeah, exactly. I mean, now that I look back on it, I realize I should have been focusing on the why, but I did focus on the what, when choosing my geology. Um, but like halfway through my degree, I was like, I love studying geology because of the why, but the jobs that geology leads you into have the watts, they have the geology part. Uh, but they don't have the why of, you know, thinking critically of, uh, you know, being connected to nature. It actually is opposite. Like, you know, it's oil, it's a gold exploration is, you know, it's all about making money and exploiting the earth. And actually there's not really much thinking critic. It's all about just repetitive, uh, you know, noticing patterns of where's the gold, the gold vein or whatever. So that's, that's where I really kind of decided a, like something has to happen differently.
Speaker 2:
32:48
I can't, I'm not going to continue down the line of geology because the subtly, the jobs that geology led into didn't have the same wise as I, that led me into geology in the first place. And I could really feel that strongly. And I was like, I could go into geology job and keep on doing the same what, but I would hate it because the why is now different. Um, so then it took me on my journey of, you know, okay, well let's just take a step back and look at all this whole journey. And that's when I, you know, I actually got myself a life coach and I saved up money for it and everyone was like, why are you spending money on a life coach and you, you're like 18, like, um, like my mom was really worried. She was like, she'd be worried.
Speaker 2:
33:31
I was like, no, I just want to like, like, I just don't want to settle for fine, you know, I want to go for a bit. Think bigger than that. Um, yeah. So I guess that's when I started noticing these patterns of it wasn't the, what is the why I wanted to do. And, and I started trying to find, uh, you know, a, I guess a profession that would join these wise up together where I could make an impact on the world in a profession where I have these wise of, you know, expressing myself, connecting with people, connecting with nature, using my mind critically. Um, so I didn't, I didn't like fall into the coaching by any means. I actually, I actually first went and did my yoga teacher training in Bali because that was the first kind of, um, that was the first thing that popped to mind when I was like, okay, expressing yourself.
Speaker 2:
34:21
Uh, you know, because the yoga culture is very much about self-awareness, expressing yourself. Uh, and also, you know, and I was also in a really beautiful part of Bali, which, you know, I felt very connected to nature. So I was like, okay, at least I'll do that because then I'll get a qualification in some, in a profession that has the same why as, you know, the inspires me. Um, and then that kind of led me down the path of looking for more professions and getting experience in working in areas that did align with my wife. So I started, um, I went to Australia and did my work and travel visa there and I worked with a company that helps teenagers transition from teenage, you know, being a teenager or child into adulthood. So, so then it started incorporating that element of, you know, one on one, uh, you know, helping people, helping people have that self awareness.
Speaker 2:
35:11
It, you know, the self expression being connected to nature because we were doing it, you know, sat around a fire when we were on hiking expeditions. Um, and you know, using your brain critically thinking on the spot, understanding what were his people, where are, where are people getting stuck, what are the dynamics? So then I started to kind of see this person come together of, you know, uh, Yoga and coaching and helping people, uh, have this self development, like, oh, this is kind of a area which my whys, which expresses my wise much more than what I've ever done before. So maybe I'll find something in the future that expresses my wise even strong, stronger. But right now, you know, it's kind of, that is distilled down to, so my experience with that company, uh, a teaching yoga, I did a few other jobs as well, um, aligned with my why. It's kind of now distilled together into my, you know, my own company of where I run my own thing. And, uh, I help people align their life and career with their purpose. So, um, that's kind of where I'm at at the moment, really.
Speaker 1:
36:21
Wow. Wow. But to sum that all up, I mean, so you know, to sum up what you just said in one gun, three ways that for everyone who's listening, cause I have a crazy, uh, it's a, it's a heck of a, a heck of a lot of interest in people who listened to me and it's like over 40 countries too. So what I wanted, what I want you to do for everyone from Mozambique to China down there to Udl. Why, part of why I want you to give them three ways, three ways these people can actually find their why in life. Because I believe that a lot of people are listening to the English language and you know, they're not living it. You know what I mean? I think people need to live their purpose rather than, than, you know what I mean? So I go, go ahead and take them away. Okay.
Speaker 2:
37:10
Can you hear him? They still that? Yeah. Can you hear me? Yup. Okay. Okay. The, as all over them. That's that UK wildfire that you got that [inaudible] you know what I'm saying? Okay. You got three. Okay. Give, give them three ways that they can find their wide freeway. You're gone again. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. Right. So the first way is to, good question, what people tell you to do question expectations of you. And uh, yeah, like first way is to question other people's expectations of you and don't just take it for face value. Um, other people will always have opinions, other people will always have what they want you to do. That doesn't necessarily mean that is your why. In fact, it's pretty furthest from your wife. It could be because it's based on what they want rather than what you want.
Speaker 2:
38:09
So first one is question societies and people's expectations of you. Second one is do all you can to connect to yourself. Whether that means going and take some yoga classes, whether that means whatever that is. Um, do something to start understanding peaks curious about yourself and who you are. Um, and, and then the third thing would be all of that. So hold your boundaries against other people. If they try to, uh, you know, say, Hey, no you're not, you shouldn't be doing that. I don't agree with you why you should be doing this. You can actually hold your boundaries and start owning it. So it's not, it's today in this world if you actually want to live your purpose and knowing your purpose isn't enough. There's so many people that kind of be like, yeah, I've always wanted to do this, but you know, there's all these, all these kind of reasons why it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:
39:09
So, um, so the third thing would be act on it. Do something about it takes steps even if it's scary, even if it's not always easy, take steps towards you know, baby steps. Sometimes just one step at a time towards aligning your life more and more with your, with your why rather than the watch that you have been thought to condition to think into this one is question what other people expect of you. Second one is get curious about who you are and start to find out about who you are and your values and your beliefs and your why. And the third one is act on it. Don't just expect the world to come to you. Actually go, go and take baby steps towards make decisions every day that get you one step closer to living your life and career in line with your why and that's when real fulfillment that comes.
Speaker 2:
40:03
That's when true impact comes and that's when you know the, you actually saw inspiring others and people start joining in on your journey because you are living your life from an authentic place where people can resonate with what you believe in because you're actually your living demonstration of your why. So people, people like that kind of stuff, they resonate with it and they want to be a part of it too. Wow. Awesome. Oh my God. To sum this all up, man, oh Lord, thank you so much. We'll talk to us real briefly about Turkish food.
Speaker 2:
40:37
We're going from seriousness stuff. Let's talk about food. Maybe because I'm hungry as hell right now. Let's talk about the, I'm, I'm incredibly hungry. If I talk about this too much, I will honestly just come fly back to Turkey just for the food all by Bob Turkey has the most amazing ability to make the list amazing food without deep frying stuff or smothering them in sugar. Whoo. Okay. Um, right. Okay. So they, they they've, okay, I'll start that sentence again. They um, you can see that I get excited about food, right? So connected to nature and the land and what they grow, um, somehow like made it an art form of combining the tastes and the magic from the land too. Mate. Really nutritious, healthy and delicious food. So they actually have vine leaf, a stuffed Brian leaves. So they get vine leaves, like actual great belief, you know, the relief of a plant, the grapes grow on and they like dip it in salted water to kind of like make it a little bit more edible.
Speaker 2:
42:00
I think I'm soft. And then they basically like make a rice billing and they just like put it in the leaf, the leaf in a certain way so it doesn't undo itself and Cook it. And Man, it's like a salty, leafy, really nice stuff. Vine leaf, it doesn't sound right now is when I explained it that, but it's amazing also if they do. Um, yeah. So basically one of the key ingredients they have is used olive oil with everything. So, so and because that they have, they're so good at using vegetables, olive oil and kind of plant based stuff. There isn't, traditionally there isn't load of meat in the Turkish diet that they do have really good meat dishes as well. They are able to make full blown meals feast without needing, um, and, and that's, and that's really where the magic comes in because, you know, they, they've kind of mastered the art of using olive oil on using tomatoes and using, uh, you know, all these spices hubs and these different types of vegetables in different types of ways.
Speaker 2:
43:05
That actually, yeah. Is, is a, a Mona Lisa of food. Um, yeah, but it's, it's very kind of olive oil and tomato sauce based. A lot of the kind of food that I'm talking about, like the vegetable based meals, um, which, which makes it really a feeling. But lights light, it doesn't, it doesn't get heavy. So like stuffed peppers, stuffed Uber jeans. I mean they have unhealthy stuff which is also delicious is that they have like fried ob gene chips, which is really good. You can have a, you could have like basically mix like potato chips with fried ob-gyn chips would like fried peppers. I like put like garlic yogurt on top of it all when it will end garlic yoga and it's just amazing. It's cool. Your plumber. Um, yeah. So, so that is kind of in a nutshell, Turkish food. I could go on forever, but
Speaker 1:
43:59
I'm getting incredibly high. I want to go, I know me too, like I swear because now that of course everything is like down pack right now, uh, here in Thailand in regards to my visa situations and stuff like that. Now I can start planning the big trips. I don't have to take these micro anymore. All the white school came out to the Taiwan to do the spartan race and stuff like that. But BG is playing for Christmas and new years and now it's time for me to head over there to Europe. So I was thinking of going to Turkey, but on top of that I really want to visit like, and Armenia.
Speaker 2:
44:33
But I know there's walls between those three nations. Right? Like I don't know is there are many in Azerbaijan that hate each other. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, I just gotta be careful. That's all I just gotta take. I gotta just gotta pick that up. That's another one of my ways of like just just focusing on what I'm doing. Just don't follow the news because, exactly. Yeah. Cause I mean, a lot of that mess that's happening out there, it has nothing to do with us and that's all the circle of concern. Focus on your influence, you know, focus on what you do. Um, but yeah, like my suggestion for people that get to Turkey, it's not all about the kebabs. I mean, they have amazing, yeah, yeah. I came up to get out your system, but like it's not about like abs and go to like a [inaudible], which means a local restaurant, which means it's cheap and it's this all this like real Turkish food that I'm talking about because if it goes to an actual mobile restaurant, it'll just be a fancy version of what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:
45:30
Kind of a westernized version. So if you want to, if you want to dive straight in, go to look up, just ask a local. Whereas I look on and they'll point you to the nearest one and it's like nothing special. It doesn't look fancy, but the food is cheap and it's amazing. Oh my God. Maybe I'm going to turn to God [inaudible] here. This one right here has convinced the living hell out of me. I don't know what else to do. And you know what? If I go there and I see beautiful, wouldn't it to all, maybe I'm getting married right then and there. Oh, I'm so excited. Uh, Laura, thank you so much for sharing everything for those people who are interested in what you got going on. Interested in what you're doing and whatnot. Ah, share your details. And of course I will put everything in the description.
Speaker 2:
46:23
Yeah, sure. So, uh, you know, I help people align their life and purpose a life and career with their purpose. So all of the stuff that we talked about, finding your why and you know, finding opportunities that align with it and making that reality, overcoming the limiting beliefs that you have. All of this is kind of, if I do this in a six week program or a, is a transformation that I take people through. So if this, if this is something that you really do want to, uh, you know, you don't want to just settle for fine and you want to start living your life really with fulfillment and making an impact on the world, then I'm your person. I'd love to connect with you so you can find me pretty the best sites we defined me on his Facebook. Um, that's where I've put a lot of my videos up. I do a lot of free content where add value just for video. So just write a lot. Overall there's not very many in the world. Um, alternatively you can find me on my website, which is be able to Yoga and coaching.com. Um, but I'm about to change that domain name to a lot of rural.com. So try both. Awesome guys. Get those links man.
Speaker 1:
47:30
Again, Laura met, we could've gone on and on and on. I swear we could have gone on and on. No, no, I know I'm telling you, but um, no, that was it. I said thank you so much for sharing those bits, man. Especially, Huh? It's been awesome coming on. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. There was some crackling. I was like, what the hell was that? I thought it was like an alien. Okay. So yeah, bad I get, thank you. And you know what, if I do end up coming up there towards your way, I will let you know. There are some big things happening in, especially at a next year. I just can't come out there during the winter because it is cold, isn't it? You know how as black folks, we do not work well in the cold. You know what I'm saying? So anyway, so bad. Again, thank you so much for taking the time out today. Alara love it. Thank you. It's been really fun. Thanks so much. And guys, with that being said bad, I hope you enjoy this episode and if you're dead, you need to share it. If you shared it, that means you like it. You need to reach out to uh, uh, a Lotta no what continuous. And you continue learning about yourself and keep unfolding you gifts within yourself. I'm your host, our study yo as usual over and out.