A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.
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Lifted Missionary, Chair Sex, or Sex in Heels. As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new and get a little creative with these positions for more comfort, fun and erotic pleasure.
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Hello everyone. Welcome to Permission for Pleasure. I'm Cindy Sharky, your host. I'm delighted you're listening to this quickie episode. And when I do random polls on socials, well really Instagram, I ask people in the community what they want to learn about. Many, many people ask for technique information and specifically positions. So in this episode, I'm going to highlight three positions using props. But real quick, I want to let you know that in every show notes for every episode, I try to provide more on topics discussed and I link to them there. I want to make sure you know that's there and available for you. Always in the show notes too is the link to my website, where the blog page is, and also where you can contact me. Lastly, always the link to sign up for my educational newsletter. I'd be delighted to have you join me there as well. Let's jump in with a quote from Esther Perel. She says, Creativity is where eroticism lives. So with that in mind, let's think creatively about changing up or trying a new position and seeing if it's a good thing for you. Let's remember too that we're all unique and everyone's preferences are different. So if these are positions maybe you've tried in the past, you haven't found them pleasurable, I encourage you to remember, you know, that our bodies change and evolve. Sometimes we didn't like something in the past or with a certain partner, and then as we change and our bodies change and maybe our partner changes, we find we enjoy it later. So keep an open mind to try things out, change things up, and at the same time be really clear when something is not enjoyable and for sure if it is not comfortable. Always use your communication. Okay, let's start with the first position, which is often called lifted missionary. I usually call it pillow tilt. What's the prop needed? Pillows. And possibly multiple soft ones, or one fairly firm one, or you could get a sex pillow. Those are usually designed specifically as a wedge to provide that kind of tilt for your pelvis. How does this work? The woman is laying on the bottom and the penetrating partner is on top. The partner can be lying on top, standing at the side of the bed, really however you want to make this work, as long as you can place pillow or pillows under the woman's buttocks in a way that lifts her hips. Her legs could be on either side of her partner, on her partner's shoulders, wrapped around her partner. You want to experiment here with angles and height with the pillows that gives you the most pleasure. Remember when we're trying something new, you know, you might have to give it a few tries and make adjustments. Try not to write it off the first time unless it's uncomfortable. Of course, that always comes into play. But with pillows, I think often people give it a try and like, oh, that didn't do anything for me. And you need to just give it a couple more goes with different heights and different angles and see if it's indeed pleasurable. Why does this position work? It can allow for deeper penetration, possible access to a G spot if you've found one, and more contact with the clitoris, with this angling. We talked about angling in the Pleasure Techniques episode 41. I'll link to that in the show notes, which is angling your hips and pelvis in a way that gives more access to the glands clitoris or your internal clitoris. Always remember we're looking for clitoral stimulation with a penetrative position. Also, this position allows for great visual eye contact, as well as you could pair, use the pairing technique, also in the pleasure techniques episode, for direct clitoral stimulation with hands or a toy. A lot of women find a lot of pleasure in this pillow tilt position in various ways and forms. So give that a try, or two or three, and see how it goes. The second position is a variation on what most people call cowgirl. I just call it chair sex because the prop needed is a chair. This may be something where you have to try one or two chairs really to land on the right one for the rider or the woman's height and leg and hip flexibility. In other words, all chairs aren't built alike, just like all people aren't built alike. So if it's available to you, this would be how it would work. The partner will sit on the chair and the woman will straddle her partner. Why does this work? This allows the woman to control her movements and angles. You'll likely want to experiment with these angles and use some pleasure techniques that I keep referring to. Rocking, shallowing, grinding. All of these provide different pleasurable sensations and more access to clitoral stimulation. Again, that's episode 41. I also have it in a blog form on my website with a little demo videos for you. All of that I'll link to in the show notes. This position also provides lots of skin-to-skin contact, allows you to look at one another, eye gaze, and engage in a lot of those pleasure techniques. Now a variation on this would be what people call reverse cowgirl, just meaning that you reverse the woman's position. So she's sitting on the partner's lap, but facing out. And again, this gives you different sensations, especially with the angling, rocking, shallowing, and pairing clitoral stimulation. Often the woman does it for herself. She has easy access facing out. The last position is sex with heels or added height. In this case, it's not about the visual so much, but about adjusting heights. Although, of course, many people have a real thing for visual stimuli, especially heels, and so there's an added element to this. The prop needed is really just heeled shoes of some kind that provide a woman more height. Why does this work? Well, partners aren't always the same height, of course. And sometimes the woman and her vagina don't line up in a way that allows penetration to be comfortable or let alone pleasurable. This could be in a standing position or when a woman is being penetrated from behind. Try giving yourself some extra height and see if you like it. You could play with this height idea also on stairs if you have access to stairs. Dump the heels all together and use different stair heights to position yourselves. How would that work? The woman would kneel on one stair, her feet would be on the stair below, and her arms or hands would be on a stair above, and the partner kneels behind her. Possibly on the stair her feet are on, but you'll have to adjust your positions to work for you. The woman would probably need to squat and meet her partner's pelvis, and the partner would need to hold her hips for support. Okay, I'm laughing because you know it's hard to describe without a demo model. But listen, sex should be fun. It's your playground. These ideas are things to try and have a good time with. And maybe you love it. Maybe you don't. Maybe you find something's uncomfortable and think, mm, that's not my thing. Great, you learned something. Good to know information. Sex isn't all about being serious. Trying something new might just have you both laughing out loud. Or maybe it's a little challenging and you learn to communicate a little clearer with each other. Variety can be fun. Remember the quote from the start with Esther Perrell who said, Creativity is where eroticism lives. So build that erotic energy by trying something new. Get a little creative with your positions. You can try some of these, or perhaps they'll prompt you to think of something else you might want to try together. Have conversation about it. Talk about what each of you wants to try. That kind of sexual communication can really bring that good erotic energy. So, friends, if you enjoy the show and you're learning here with me, will you please take a moment to rate and review the show? That helps people to find us here and for others to get more education. So let's all get a little creative and give ourselves more permission for pleasure.
