Permission for Pleasure
A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.
Permission for Pleasure
Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Wish List
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
When I saw Michal Morrison's Sexual Wellness and Pleasure list on Threads, I thought, "Who is this woman and how did she come up with this amazing list?!" Learn about toys, tools, good reads and more to empower you on your wellness and pleasure journey.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY
Michal Morrison is an Austin-based entrepreneur and the founder of her eponymous brand, Michal Morrison—a cutting-edge skincare company rooted in science and powered by groundbreaking stem cell technology. With a passion for science-based innovation, Michal has worked in health-focused startups and femtech companies, championing wellbeing in both the health and beauty spaces. Beyond her entrepreneurial pursuits, Michal is committed to social impact, championing causes around women's health, gender equality, and mental health.
Mentioned in this episode:
Tabu Prim Pillow
Positions with props
Ohnut use discount code CINDY
Foria melts
Uberlube use discount code CINDY
Come As You Are book review
She Comes First book review
Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
Spicy Audio Stories
Lioness
Sex and Pain
What Pelvic Health has to do with painful sex
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat DPT
Tips from my pelvic floor therapist
Pleasure techniques with penetration
Guide to lube
OMGYES
Rosy App
Lelo
Dame Eva
All bodies
Lorals
ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog
My sex life today looks radically different than it did 10 years ago. And it's never too late to add something in that will make you happier.
SPEAKER_01Hello everyone, and welcome to Permission for Pleasure. I'm Cindy Sharkey, your host. I'm delighted that you're listening today. I have a special guest on, and I'm just laughing with her as we press record because Michael and I met over threads, as one does sometimes on social media. I saw her post called Girls Girl List, Sexual Wellness and Pleasure Edition. And I thought, who is this girl? And how does she know about all these great things on her list? And so we set up a call to chat. The universe just aligned. We got really connected. And here we are. I thought we'd bring it to the podcast for you to hear her list some of these things you've heard before, but many you haven't on the pod. And I was excited to share it with you with Michael Morrison. Welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_02Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited for this conversation.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Before we get into your list, tell everybody a little bit about you and your work in the world.
SPEAKER_02I am an entrepreneur. I live in Austin where I was born, but I grew up in Phoenix. I was raised in a very religious family as well, which really plays into my understanding of sexuality, played a big role in my journey of understanding and accepting who I am as a person. I work in the beauty industry now, actually, and founded a skincare brand called Michael Morrison. We feature biotechnology in our product. It's called Beta STEM 6. We have a patent on Beta STEM 6. It's a miraculously effective anti-aging ingredient that we were the first to bring to market in beauty. I've done that for the last four years. And I started that during COVID, you know, when everything shut down and we were at home. Very little to do. I got through a reading list pretty quick. And then I decided to look at, you know, what would it look like to start a company? And I think a lot of people started projects in 2020 and found a lot of freedom in that. And that was definitely true for me.
SPEAKER_01Hmm. Super exciting. I mean, you've had your hand in a lot of projects, it looks like, actually. And as we talked, I heard about some of those. And I'm wondering, you know, I like to ask guests that come on the podcast. You mentioned a little bit about your upbringing, but like what you heard or didn't hear about bodies, sexuality, sex in your home growing up. What did that look like? What was your sex ed like?
SPEAKER_02I received sex ed from my parents. I was not allowed to go to sex ed class, you know, as I came of age. My parents excused me from those classes. I'm not really sure how that worked, but I grew up in an evangelical home, a very strict fundamentalist one. And so I think it's quite common for people who grew up in evangelical circles for families to want to be in control of not just biological information, but the narrative around sexuality as well. And so the focus in the home that I grew up in was on virginity above all else. I did get some biological information, which I'm grateful for, but the tone of conversation was around what not to do. And unfortunately, and I'm glad I didn't have this experience, but I know a lot of Christian women who, you know, when you're told growing up to keep your sexuality to yourself, that that's a dangerous thing to engage in with somebody else. The day you get married, you're expected to just flip a switch and turn it on. And that is confusing mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. I know a lot of women who had a very hard time after they had sex for the first time because it felt like they were doing something wrong. When you tell your body a certain thing, something is bad, you internalize it, of course. And so their physical reaction to having sex for the first time was not what they hoped or anticipated that it would be. And so they they've sort of had a lifetime of struggle around how to make sex a positive thing. I'm very fortunate that for whatever reason, that was one of those things I was able to work around. I was told that the first time you have sex, if you're not married, it's going to devastate you. You'll feel like you've given yourself or something very important about yourself away, you'll never get it back. And I remember driving home from my first sexual experience and thinking, I don't feel any different at all. What if I was lied to about this? Because I don't feel like I lost anything. I feel like I gained something. And so now I don't even really believe in the concept of virginity. I don't think it needs to be made nearly as big of a deal as it is. You're sharing your sexuality with another person. And so now my mindset is more that your body belongs to you, your sexuality belongs to you. If you care to share it with someone else, you can. But it's not a life-altering experience necessarily, unless you really want it to be, perhaps. But I was told a very negative narrative and that sex was for men, that women don't enjoy sex. I have not personally found that to be true. So I had to work through a good amount of how I was raised, but it didn't impact me long term, I don't think.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for sharing your story. So many of the themes are things we've either talked about on the podcast or I've spoke with many, many women with the same, many of the same themes, but yours is unique to you. I will say that idea of flipping a switch does not work for most people. Right.
SPEAKER_02Why would it?
SPEAKER_01You know Yeah, it simply isn't a flip switch thing. So again, thanks for sharing your story. And I'm thinking because the things that you've learned and uh investigated and figured out for yourself is how you've come upon this sexual wellness list that you made.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_01The list of resources. Yes. And so let's jump into this. I'm just so fascinated by what you included and you know your thoughts on them. So I wonder too about your feedback about it. Maybe we'll talk about that at the end and see what you have to say about that. Absolutely. Well, do you want to go in order of your list or shall we just bounce around?
SPEAKER_02Either way works for me.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So the first thing on your list was the taboo prim pillow.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Tell me your blurb. What did you say about this? Let me pull it up. You can just read it. Sure.
SPEAKER_02And to be clear, I call this a Girls Girl list because I want to advocate for other women in my life and women that I don't even know. And so, especially because I came from an environment where information about sex, not just biological information, but especially information about pleasure, was withheld intentionally on purpose. And then we already live in a culture where women's pleasure is not prioritized. A lot of this feels taboo, ironically, or secretive or shameful. And that's why this first element came first on the list, is I think it's very accessible. So what I wrote is a little lift and a new angle can make all the difference. And the girls who know, know. If you're on the prowl for something new that's not intimidating to implement into your bedroom repertoire, this is chef's kiss. Rest assured if you're shy or recovering from past sexual mistreatment, this is sexy and liberating in an accessible way. And that was important to me to include because I think, especially for women from communities like I come from, the idea of becoming sexually adventurous reminds them of an era of like Cosmopolitan magazine, where they were recommending sex tips that felt very out of left field for a lot of people, at least. It didn't feel relevant to them. Inside, it made them feel like it might feel ridiculous to even try. And I don't find that kind of advice to be very helpful. A lot of women know about the pillow trick, but not everybody does. And this is something that's very accessible. And especially if you feel a little bit intimidated to introduce something new to your partner, male or female, this is an easy thing to include that can make an actual physical difference in your experience without feeling like you're pulling, you know, latex out of your drawer to incorporate into your routine.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it's a pillow. And there's just so much benefit to adjusting your body in ways with pillow support that can be more pleasurable. Also, for those who have discomfort, sometimes it can make things comfortable. I do have some episodes about hip lift, I call it. But you can use this pillow in all sorts of ways. And I do like this idea that you're you're talking about about introducing something new, and this is fairly, I don't know, neutral. I don't know what you want to say, right? It's fairly intimidating. Totally not intimidating. It's a pillow, right? A very nice pillow, right?
SPEAKER_02It is a little expensive, but it's also not garish, and I think a lot of people find literal tools around sexual experience to be a little bit garish. And uh, this is not that way. You can have it on your bed and no one would know any different, but it provides just enough lift where your pelvis tilts in a way, where penetration is becomes all of a sudden much more pleasurable. I think also the narrative around sex needing to be penetrative, or the fact that a lot of women don't orgasm that way, that they have to have external stimulation, I definitely do, that this changes the angle enough where you get more external stimulation. So you get to prioritize your experience with sex and maintain that closeness around a variety of different positions.
SPEAKER_01Love it. Thanks for sharing about that. I I think that you know, people are so hesitant to bring something extra in, something in addition. And yet these tools and some of these things on your list and tools like a pillow or even if this is out of your comfort zone or your spending zone, you know, you can work with what you have at home with the same kind of ideas. So absolutely. Yeah, I just want to kind of add that in. The next thing on your list is the foria products, which I'm very familiar with. And you specifically talked about their intimacy melts.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I'm actually an affiliate with them, so I can link that in the show notes for people to check them out. But tell me what you said about fora and what you recommended.
SPEAKER_02Well, I recommended them for people who have muscular discomfort. I wouldn't say these are necessarily for pain. If you have pain, I would see a doctor. I never want to. 100%, yeah. Pain is common, it's not normal. Two different things. And so for me, before I found out that I have adenomiosis, which hello causes a lot of pain. I was like, why does this feel like I'm cramping and I'm not on my period? But deep penetration felt very uncomfortable for me. And so I think this was actually recommended by a pelvic fluorophysical therapist that it's a suppository and it helps relax the muscles up there. So the higher you can get it in the vaginal canal, the better. And I think the last time I used it, it's like you give it about 30 minutes, 45 minutes to work prior to initiating sex with your partner. And I really could tell a difference. I like that brand regardless, too. I have another of their products that you can use externally. That's one of those things that I would say is that some of these products are more like massage externally, but are not meant to be lubricant. And so I think that difference does need to be noted too.
SPEAKER_01Oh, a hundred percent. So the Fourier products have CBD in them, and they are lovely. They have botanicals, they're really, well, I want to say not just lovely, but I they feel well made to people. People feel like, ooh, this is something.
SPEAKER_02It's high quality, it's also a sophisticated brand. And especially if you're gonna have something on your bedside table, you want to be able to use something like this and feel like the user experience is also good, and I think they do knock that out of the park.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. And you said they've got science to back it up. They do. And that always is a big win on my my side, right?
SPEAKER_02Me too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Okay, so the next thing is so we've talked about a pillow, we've talked about some CBD melts from FOIA, and then you had quite a few books on your list.
SPEAKER_02And I'm a reader, and so I know that.
SPEAKER_00That's an item too, so we connected on this.
SPEAKER_02We did. It's not everybody's mode of choice, I suppose, in terms of learning, but if I were going to pick one, I would absolutely choose Come As You Are. I read it for the first time a couple of years ago, and I felt like I had been cheated for a long time out of this information. I liked it so much that I recommended it to, I'm not kidding, probably upwards of 20 friends by now. And I now have four copies because I'll lend it to somebody and inevitably it'll be in someone's bag and it gets coffee on it or something, and so they give back the original and then a new copy. So now I have a library of Come As You Are. This is such good science that advocates for women to not demonize really their own sexual response. I don't think that's really taught in sex ed because the sexual response in women is about pleasure. And so in biology, you're talking about pregnancy, not pleasure, most of the time, I think. And so, come as you are, it helps women understand why they get turned on or why they are not turned on by something and to normalize that conversation. There's also a section in the back, 30 pages or something, that's meant for sort of a more easily digestible section that a partner can read. I would hope that all women have a partner who would read a whole book with them, but that's not always the case. So it's just an easier lift, so to speak. But I have a good friend who read this book at 31 and had her first orgasm after reading this book because she understood how her body worked. I think that's the best recommendation you could possibly give a book.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. You can read my book review on my website. I'll link to that in the show notes because this is the book I often recommend for people. And I too have had women in their early 30s whose sex lives have been changed by reading this book. And some people are, you know, I get some pushback sometimes because people, oh, it's so lengthy. I'm like, it's very readable. Emily Nagoski is a very readable author. I mean, yes, she's a researcher, but she's funny, witty, honest. I find her just really readable. So I agree.
SPEAKER_02It's very engaging. You'd think that, you know, a lot of people who wouldn't pick up a book by a PhD, you know, because like, oh, it's going to be dry. It's not at all. It flew by for me. There might be other resources that feel a little bit more difficult to get through, but this is definitely not one of them.
SPEAKER_01100%. The next one on your list was She Comes First. Yes. Which I also have a book review on my website for and highly recommend along with you. So give us your take on that one.
SPEAKER_02What I will say about this is that my best encounters with male partners have been with those who have read this book. I want men to take responsibility for being good partners. I understand why many times women don't advocate for themselves because I think a lot of people have had an experience approaching someone with, hey, X, Y, and Z just really isn't working for me. I really like you, but can we work together on seeing if we can make sex more pleasurable for both of us? And offense is taken or it feels emasculating, and then women stop speaking up. And I know a lot of women who have honestly like sort of endured years of sex that does not feel good to them.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_02And that's pretty devastating. So it's wonderful for women to read, but I really recommend that men who have female partners pick up this book and learn about prioritizing women because I think in general it's kind of a given that men are going to orgasm when they have sex a good amount of the time, if not most of the time. It's not really a given for women. And so understanding not just the physical but the psychological and emotional parts of sex for women is crucial.
SPEAKER_01100%. And this book has been around a long time. A long time. It just continues to be a wonderful resource. Like it has not gone out of style, right? And it's very practical. So Ian Kerner is super practical with techniques and for beginners, intermediates, you want to get expert, all about the female anatomy, oral pleasure, especially, and not just oral, but like you're saying, it's very direct and focused on how to help female pleasure be the forefront. And for her to come first. Yes, literally. I can't help but add that in. Right.
SPEAKER_02And I really appreciate books that don't feel cutesy or like they're trying to make metaphors of stuff. I want real words. Please speak to me like an adult. I want the science behind stuff because the more you try to phrase things in a sweet, cute, or innocent way, I find that to be sort of condescending. Oh, yes. And another barrier between a woman and her enjoying herself. We need practicality. So those two books really deliver.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yep. Agree. The next one on your list was Slow Pleasure, which I actually purchased on your recommendation. So I haven't read that yet. Tell us a little bit about why this book.
SPEAKER_02And you know, I picked this book up at I think Book People in Austin, and it was just out. It looks approachable because it looks um, it looks a little bit more innocuous. You wouldn't be embarrassed, you know, walking around carrying this book through the bookstore. Not that you should be embarrassed about anything, but you can leave it on the coffee table. It's more thoughtful, it's mindfulness about connecting to your body and exploring your pleasure spectrum. What do you actually find interesting? So it's not as practical as the other books. It's a little bit more philosophical and finding pleasure in other parts of your day and your life. It's not just like sex and sexuality, it's not just what happens in bed with someone, but it's about you and what you find interesting. And so I kind of read it two or three pages at a time and just sort of meditate on it. It's made me more thoughtful about my sexuality and how I like to engage with my body. Lovely.
SPEAKER_01Yes. I'm looking at what you wrote in the list and exploring your pleasure spectrum with a focus on embodiment, connection, and honoring yourself. All right then. You also included pleasure activism.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01I adored this book. Very thought-provoking. You don't read it and then forget it. You read it and keep thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. Tell me how it was for you.
SPEAKER_02I first found Adrian Marie Brown, the author, um, in another one of her books. She writes about systems change and society. I think I picked that up in about 2020 when I was very intentionally trying to incorporate more diverse voices into the kinds of things that I read to expand my worldview. And she has some very challenging ideas in a good way about how the world should work. And so this book, I especially as people are starting to talk about cultural revolution, I think that's the time we're entering, and the fall of the patriarchy. It's gonna get ugly, but I do think that's happening. I think this is the book that the matriarchy is calling for. It's very insightful, and it really is a social commentary about how sex and pleasure, it can be activism and revolution. I think women enjoying themselves with sex, particularly coming from a religious background like I do, the idea of a woman saying, no, I'm gonna have the kind of sex that I want and that I like and I enjoy without shame, and that is a revolution for many women. That's a huge step forward. It definitely was for me. And I think we need to prioritize the voices of uh black feminists in this tradition as well.
SPEAKER_01Appreciate your thoughts on that. Yeah, I just remember I had not read her, and as I got more and more into this work of sexual wellness and women, my daughter, another friend of hers, another woman kept saying, You need to read this book. Can I send you this book?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Can you take my book? I'll let you borrow mine. So I think that it's a it's a very thought provoking read. And I agree with you. It it doesn't go out of style. It's actually perfect for these. Time. It's perfect for the time. That's right. Yeah. I'd love to add in my own book if you're listening. And thinking about unraveling some of these, you know, roots of your sexuality and what you've taken in and ingested. And looking at them again and seeing if they serve you or they don't serve you anymore. With also some really good basic education. And people are saying, you know, it feels like I'm sitting on your couch with you, you know, as a healthcare professional, but also your nurse friend. And that's how I intended this book. So I would really love for you to join the journey on that with me and pick up your copy of Permission for Pleasure attending your sexual garden. You can look for the link for that always in the show notes. My own little plug there.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. We should all be so lucky to have a nurse friend who'll talk to us in a practical and warm way about this topic. So you're making that accessible. I really admire that. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01The next one on your list is spicy audio. So let's talk about that because you mentioned Quinn and Dipsy. I've had Gina, one of the co-founders of Dipsy on the podcast in episode 79. It's called Spicy Audio Stories. People gobbled it.
SPEAKER_02I bet they did.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. So tell me your take on erotic audio.
SPEAKER_02Well, I first found Quinn, and I don't know how I stumbled onto that. I think there's an element of that I enjoy that it's just audio. It feels a little bit mysterious in a nice way. And also because I've been able to explore a few things that I didn't know would be interesting to me sexually. And in a world where sometimes arousal can be a little bit elusive for some women, you know, our discussions around sex in our culture so often prioritize male pleasure. A lot of women don't want to engage with pornography for ethical reasons, which I understand. And also that it's just not made with women in mind many times. It's it's showing us a version of sex that is not appealing to a lot of women. Audio really can be, and you never know what will work for you. So it's a again, sort of a non-threatening way to explore what might be interesting to you.
SPEAKER_01Yep. I think that's how you described it, and it caught my eye in your list. You said, I love these apps because arousal can be a bit of a mystery or or prove elusive, like you said. And that discussions around sex are so often prioritizing male pleasure. So you said you never know what you what could do it for you. If you guys read her list with all her quips, it was it's actually hysterical. Explore the the genre list and try something new. I just think there's just a whole new array of erotic audio that people are tapping into. And the great thing about these platforms is they really let you get specific in what's interesting to you. And so I often will have people say, Well, I don't want to, I'm like, oh, you you get to dictate on your job. What you're interested in listening to and how that comes at you. So you're in control of that. And so that sometimes helps people say, Oh, well, let me take a look and see see what I think about that. So I think I still have a discount code for Dipsy, so I'll I'll put that in the show notes for you. Okay, so the next one I was not familiar with, and it was Lioness.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Tell me all about it.
SPEAKER_02I have not used it personally, but I heard about it when I was working with more femtech companies a couple of years ago, the rise of technology for women's health. And some people don't prefer the word femtech, which I understand, but feminine technology. And I heard about this product through the lens of advocacy for women reclaiming their sexuality after assault or after a very difficult medical experience that made sex feel threatening, painful, uncomfortable, just not something that they wanted to engage with. There's literally technology in this vibrator, it collects data on the strength and length, I suppose, and the timing of orgasm. So you have feedback on what that physical response is like for you, and you can see it and engage with it and track what that is like. And so for people who've had, you know, very difficult experiences, they don't want to have partnered sex, they might not have had an orgasm for a long time. This is a safe, personal or private, if you want it to be, approach to understanding and reconnecting with your sexuality.
SPEAKER_01Really interested to investigate that further. I was fascinated by what they're doing and what that offers people. I was really glad to hear about it. It's compassionate.
SPEAKER_02And that's one of the reasons why I think female entrepreneurs are so awesome, is they're bringing their personal lived experience many times. That's why a lot of these companies exist. And this is entirely female focused, it's empowerment focused. It's not about performing for anyone, it's about understanding yourself better and having something to work with if you're really into the science. And if you want actual data to bring to your doctor, you can to show them. Hey, look, I'm having trouble with anorgasmia. Do you see? Like I have something to show you. I think that can help a lot of women or validate the experience that they're having.
SPEAKER_01Wow. So that's the lioness. It's actually a vibrator that gives you feedback. Yes. Measurement and feedback. Okay. I'm going to add in one of my own in the midst of your own list. Uber lube. Yes, I love Uber lube. Okay. I I just can't not tell you about Uber Lube because they call me the lube fairy for a reason. It's a great moniker. If you have not tried lubricant for sex, their silicone lube is my favorite. It is just silky smooth. It comes in a pretty glass bottle. I gotta tell you one story. I was talking to a woman recently in her 80s at a book signing, and I said, I hope you're using lube. And she goes, Oh, I'm I have to use lube every time, but I just hate it. So I asked her, Well, what are you using? So she told me the name, and I she said it's glumpy and gunky, and I I went, Okay, let me tell you what you need. Let me give you an option here. And I sent her home with Uber lube samples, and she's been a fan ever since. So, you know, I think it is one of those things that I want everyone to try. If you have not tried a lubricant for sex, it brings a whole different level to your experience. So I just love Uber Lube. I thought about this woman in our conversation. I wanted to say, you're never too old, it's never too late to try lube. It's always a good thing. And you can find the link to Uber Lube in the show notes. They always provide you a discount with my code, and all that savings goes to you. So they're a great supporter of this podcast, but also hands down, my favorite lube.
SPEAKER_02I agree with you. And I would say too that there is this idea that's sort of pervasive still that you should be aroused enough for sex without lube. To me, sex is always better with a lubricant every single time. You can be mentally aroused and your body might just be a little bit behind where you're at. There's a million reasons why you might have less natural lubrication than you want. I don't want to die on that hill. I don't want to martyr myself by thinking my body should be able to do this by itself. It's just always better with a little help.
SPEAKER_01And that should is, I think, what prevents some people from giving it a try. But also I'm always just shocked at how many people have never heard of using a sexual lubricant. I'm shocked by that too. Just honestly, I I'm just, I think, especially as I talk to people midlife, menopause, beyond that perimenopause into the whole transition phase. You know, if they've never been acquainted with a lubricant before, and then they get to that stage where it becomes so often uh just non-negotiable to adding a lubricant, you know, for comfort and let alone pleasure, it still just floors me. How many people have never oh, what is that? What do you mean, lube? Wait, what are you handing me? What's this sample? Why are you handing out these packets? So it's still something I always want to keep bringing up and talking about. Yeah, I just think we need to keep spreading the good word.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the gospel. Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01The lube gospel.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. The next one on your list. We may be out of order here, I can't remember, but o nut. Oh, why we're talking about some essential things here. Let's talk about own.
SPEAKER_02I think this should be an essential thing for a lot of women. The idea that bigger is better is not always true for a lot of women. If you have pelvic pain, or if the way you're built just like, I don't need that much going on down there. For if you have a male partner and he's bigger than average, and especially around like sexual education of, and we see this in porn too. Like if someone is really large, if a man is really large, everything should be able to fit. No, there's a limit, you know, to how much can fit. And also, you hit a certain point, it is painful. So these are literally rings that a man wears around his penis that keeps him from going too deep in terms of penetration. And so, one, it meets a physical need of sort of acting as a barrier. And then there's peace of mind knowing, oh my gosh, is it is it gonna go too deep? Is it gonna hurt me? You know, you're not gonna have an orgasm if you're worried about pain. No, you know, that's just not gonna happen. And so it also frees you up to not have to worry about that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, and they come in sets of three, these rings. I did talk about them way back in episode seven when I talked about pain and sex, but you can hear more about them there. But there's come in sets of three, so you could use one ring if you only need to control the depth by one, or you add a second, or you can add a third. So you have a lot of flexibility there. I don't know anything else out on the market that controls depth of penetration like this tool.
SPEAKER_02Me neither. And I only heard about it because of my involvement with the femtech world. And I was shocked that this wasn't more widely known or really a topic of discussion because when the focus is on bigger is better, no, it's not necessarily, and something that limits depth, I think, frees up everybody to have a better time.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Okay. OMGS. Oh, hallelujah, OMGS. I know it is. Back by research and okay, tell me your what did you write about this? A sophisticated, respectful, and hands-on, in parentheses, no, really, pleasure education site taught by real women about techniques that work, plus no airbrushing here. You pay for the platform once and have access to a series of lessons for life.
SPEAKER_02And I believe they have a season one and a season two now. If I remember correctly, I think I paid $50. And this was years ago, so it might have changed in price. I'm I'm not sure. But they give you like 12 topics, and they have interviewed a real woman about how that technique works for her. There's also opportunities to opt in to watch actual videos that are explicit with that woman demonstrating the technique. They also bring up, I think for at least a few of them, a page where you can use your finger on the screen of your phone and practice and get feedback from the app or the program about if that's actually going to work for somebody or not. And if you are way off, they will tell you. So this is like anti-porn to me. Yes. And a lot of women have found positive experiences with porn. They can have that. That's wonderful. But for the majority of women who feel like it has harmed their experience of sex, and I do know a good number of people who do feel that way about pornography, this is getting you back to real women, telling you what works for them. There's nothing performative about this at all. It's very respectful. The power is very clearly in the hands of the women who are demonstrating these techniques. And so while you do see explicit images and videos of women, it's educational. It's not taking advantage of them. And I learned a few things about what works for me in particular, and I think they're upfront about that as well. That some techniques work well for some people and others, it just doesn't do much. And so, knowing like you're in the driver's seat of your own body, and it's fun to explore and show curiosity about yourself. And this is one of the best platforms that I found to do so.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I agree with that. If you want to just be a little curious, my episode 41 is Pleasure Techniques, which was all the research from OMG Yes, that they publicly shared and allowed everybody to have the language around, and it's increasing pleasure with penetration. So that could give you a little glimpse into the kind of things you're gonna hear, see, and learn on a platform like this. Again, that's episode 41. I'll link to that in the show notes. By far, top five episodes of all time. So that tells me people want, you know, we're interested in having, like you're saying, realistic education around more pleasure and orgasms and how to do that. Right, the technical way to get there. Exactly. Mm-hmm. That's a good one to bring up, and you also brought up Rosie. Talk to me about that.
SPEAKER_02I did, and that was a a women's health app that was developed by doctors and psychologists. They cover everything from menopause to low libido, PCOS. I have PCOS, and so I think that's originally how I found this app of okay, something's going on with my health. I'm having some odd symptoms, and you know what? I didn't get diagnosed by a doctor. Like I figured out why I eventually did. Um, but I figured out I had PCOS before any doctor told me that I did. And it's because I went and did the research. I love that apps like Rosie are making more medical information available, they're normalizing those conversations, and then particularly around libido. I think a lot of women struggle with that at some point in their life for whatever reason. And women really do deserve to have a sex life that's not burdensome to them physically or emotionally. And so with Rosie, you can get actionable medical support.
SPEAKER_01Yep. I've had several clients I've referred that app to that have found it very helpful. I'm glad to hear that. That's wonderful. And let's go into toys. You had several toy options. Yeah. But I mean, I am a fan. And I first you said you talked about Lilo, and I haven't talked about Lilo on this show, and yet I just can I read your leave out of here, read your description yourself. Read it to me. You have okay.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I do. Lilo is top drawer of the nightstand luxury, hall of fame worthy splurges, platinum, five stars, 10 out of 10. Samantha Jones would buy this toys. Q, Sex in the City music. Amen. They are beautiful, they are expensive. That's why I said splurges in there. I think I probably have about four things from them. And it's been worth the money. That is a beautiful investment to make. These are not toys that will, you know, die on you in a year, and they get pretty innovative. So that's what I'll say there.
SPEAKER_01It is worth taking a look at their website. Yeah, I have a lot of clients who when they get to splurge, that's where they splurge with Lilo. So yeah. But you also had Dame, Dame's Eva toy, which is so unique, and that vibrator has been life-changing for some clients of mine. I mean, yeah, absolutely life-changing. So tell me your description and then why you included it.
SPEAKER_02So it's wearable, so hands-free experience during partnered sex, and it looks like a little robot to me with little arms. It really does work. So I think for a lot of women, they're having penetrative sex, and external stimulation becomes sort of like second place to what they're doing. And this allows you to still prioritize external stimulation, but you don't have to hold something physically on yourself. It really like hooks over your labia and will sit there. Yeah, stays in place. And so you're getting the best of both worlds, and you don't have to be distracted by trying to maneuver physically to hold a toy onto yourself. And I really wish more women would try this because you get both. And on a very personal level, because I think this is relevant. I think I've had one solely vaginal orgasm in my life. Everything else has had to be both together, or just external, yeah, not unusual at all. I learned that from Come As You Are for a long time. I thought there was something off about me, and I'm like, no, I'm very much in the majority. That that just isn't, it feels nice, but it's not going to get me across the finish line. And so it really helps you understand who's a good partner and who's not a good partner for you. Um, men who don't see this as a threat, it's a teammate to help you have a good time. And so um, I really do recommend and advocate for including other things into the bedroom like toys. If you have a partner that is open to that, and I hope that you do, and if not, there are other people who will be very enthusiastic about participating in that with you. And this takes sex up times 10. It's just wonderful.
SPEAKER_01Eva is unique. I'm just gonna say one, I just remember one client after I encouraged her to try it. She said, it's just the stimulation exact where I need it, exactly the right way. It's just been a game changer. So yeah. And they have a lot of other products too, but uh they do, yeah. That's a great one to to talk about because it's it's unique, very unique.
SPEAKER_02It is. I've never seen anything else that's wearable and practical. You don't want that thing falling off and midway through and being distracted by that. So it's high quality for sure. Yes. Talk to me about all bodies which you included. So I sort of put this together in the same category in a way as OMG Yes. They host a very wide variety of classes online, they're all led by experts. There's a lot on sex, but they also include mental health and body literacy as part of this. And for many women, I think there's sort of this era of women in their 30s redoing sex ed. Because if all you get in 11th grade is about pregnancy, there's nothing about pleasure that they're teaching you about your body. It's how to get pregnant or not get pregnant. And so it's almost like growing up again in your 30s and realizing, like, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns with this because I want to have a better experience. And All Bodies does an amazing job at making sex and pleasure education very accessible. They're also very focused on inclusion. So you're gonna see all different body types and skin tones there, uh, which is very needed in that community. It's social justice focused, and those are the kind of things that are typically missing from conversations around sex. And so I can't recommend them highly enough.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so there you have it. All bodies health. And the next thing you talked about was kaggles, and I couldn't be happier.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I remember first hearing about them as a concept in high school, but the whole concept was make it better for your male partner, which is such a loss. I mean, okay, yeah, that is one element of a sexual relationship, but not everybody needs to be doing them. A lot of women, especially if you have pelvic pain, strengthening those muscles is not going to help. It's gonna hurt you or make it harder to enjoy sex. So I think more women actually need help relaxing pelvic floor muscles or retraining them. And so um, before you take advice from a magazine or an influencer because influencer culture has just taken over, go see a medical professional. It might be right for you, but it might not at all. And I'd rather people get the help that they need from people who are trained in this kind of thing.
SPEAKER_01And if you want to hear more about pelvic floor PTs and you're new here to the podcast, you can listen to episode 83, you can listen to episode 36, you can listen to episode 8. I've had pelvic floor physical therapists on this show repeatedly because I am on the same page with Michael here. I feel like every woman should have a pelvic floor PT consult. You've heard me ring this bell over and over. Whether you have sexual pain issues. Whether you have other issues related to the pelvis and your whole pelvic area, whether you're you've carried and birthed the baby, whether you're going into midlife and menopause in every stage. I'm just gonna keep you know sounding the horn on this. I think it's a game changer. It's not gonna ever get old to talk about. I'm a true believer. Yeah, absolutely. And you also had laurels. So talk to us about laurels. I think you included it at the end, sort of like, oh wait, I forgot.
SPEAKER_02I did, I kind of forgot about it, which it's one of those companies, too, that I learned about from the Femtech community, and I really think it's genius. So they're very, very thin, wearable latex panties, and they have two versions, I believe. So one version provides STI protection and it's FDA cleared, which is so cool. Nobody really talks about safe sex with oral sex with women, and I think that really needs to be part of the conversation. Uh, there's also another version that they have that's just for pleasure. So you get the full sensation of someone's mouth on you, but you get coverage. And there's a variety of reasons why I think women would want that. For people who are trauma-informed as well, if you want to be a little bit less exposed but still be intimate with someone, you're wearing something, there's a barrier between you and the world, but you still get to experience pleasure. So I think that's a wonderful option for people who are survivors of sexual assault. And if you want to try different forms of anal play as well, this is just a safer way to do so. So I don't know why I forgot about it, but I'm a huge fan, and the founder is really great.
SPEAKER_01So it's definitely worth looking up. Great to hear about that. I've seen them for quite some time, and I just thought this is why I wanted to have this conversation with you, because I've never really done a list of things. And I appreciated your perspective and the things you brought to the table here and the things you're telling people about. And I'll be curious, listeners, if you find this interesting and you like this kind of discussion and you want more uh episodes on just resources and products and tools, then let me know because we'll do more of this. So I appreciate you coming on and sharing your wellness list, Michael. Thank you. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02And I will tell you, so I did get good feedback and thank you so much with 15 exclamation points on my thread account about this post, but I got maybe 12 or 13 private messages on Instagram. People didn't want to ask a question publicly, they wanted a little bit more privacy to ask me about a variety of things. And you know, it's been wonderful to connect with more people about that. I do really think there is a need for more older sister conversations kind of thing. This is what I wish that I had known. If I had been taught about sex as pleasure and that looking for resources to help me gain more of that wasn't a bad thing, I would have started much earlier. And so my sex life today looks radically different than it did 10 years ago. And it's never too late to add something in that will make you happier.
SPEAKER_01Well, let's wrap up on that beautiful note and tell people how they can connect with you, Michael.
SPEAKER_02So I'm on Instagram. I believe my own handle is Michael Ann. And my skincare company is Michael Morrison Skincare, and I'm on Threads as well, where I've been fortunate to connect with lovely people like yourself.
SPEAKER_01That's where we found each other. I love it. Yes. On this show, we usually ask people to share a delight, something that just delights you day to day. And I'm gonna skew this a little bit this time and ask you about what delights you sensually. Which one of your senses lights you up inside?
SPEAKER_02That's a beautiful question. You know what I do is I take really hot baths. That's what I'm doing. And I found a new kind of thing to add into the bath. Have you heard of fluid before? No, I think that's how you say it. F-L-E-W-D. Fluid stress care, I believe is what it's called. It goes far beyond the typical Epsom salt bath. There's lithium in there, and it it really actually helps bring down the stress level in your body. It's remarkably effective. And I know that the focus right now on well-being is to get into ice baths and all that. I've gone through a lot of stressful things in my life. I've literally had a doctor tell me putting yourself through experiences like that, yes, there are definitely health benefits, but stressing out your nervous system that way isn't for you anymore. You need gentleness. And so for me, there's no other place in life where I relax so much and that I enjoy really so much as getting in a really hot bath. And flute is really helpful. So highly recommend doing something that's gentle for your body.
SPEAKER_01Yes. My word for this year is gentle, so that resonates with me. There you go. Thanks again for being with us. Thank you for having me. And listeners, don't forget to check out our episode sponsor, Uberloo. You can find the link in the show notes. And as you think about all these options and all these things on Michael's sexual wellness and pleasure list, perhaps you'll consider one thing that you want to try in this new season of your life. And that will help you give yourself more permission for pleasure.
