Permission for Pleasure
A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.
Permission for Pleasure
Sexual Adaptation and Aids for All Bodies
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Throughout life, we all face changes in our body that impact how we experience pleasure with sex. Laura Glazebrook PT, DPT, specializes in neurological injuries and all manner of pelvic health concerns. She joins me to talk about adaptations, tools, toys, and positional aids - for all bodies. Whether you’re post surgery, post injury, or navigating change, this conversation is full of practical tips, products, and resources for all of life’s seasons.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY
Laura Glazebrook, PT, DPT spent ten years specializing in neurological injuries at world-renowned Shepherd Center in Atlanta, and has specialized training to evaluate and treat a variety of pelvic health concerns for all genders and ages.
More on this topic:
Pelvic health and painful sex with Heather Jeffcoat
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with PT Heather Jeffcoat
Tips from my physical therapist
Anna from Mad Hatter Wellness: Sex Ed for all abilities
Tips for talking to a provider about sexual health
Guide to lube
Erectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunction
Medications and sexual health
SSRi’s and your sex life
The Handy
Intimate Rider
Bumpin Joystick
Sexuality after SCI
Sexuality and Disability
New Mobility: Quest for accessible sex toys
Ohnut rings
ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog
I am still worthy of pleasure. There are things that I can do to change my relationship with my body and my relationship with the others around me.
SPEAKER_00Hello everyone and welcome to Permission for Pleasure. I'm Cindy Sharkey, your host. In this episode, I'm talking with pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Laura Glaisebrook. For years she has specialized in treating neurological injuries as well as all manner of pelvic health concerns. I asked her on the show to talk about adaptations and tools and toys and positional aids. Just all things for someone, any of us, facing challenges with intimacy, whether post-surgery, post-injury, or navigating changes in our bodies. Sadly, many medical providers don't approach sexual health concerns. We talk about this in this episode. They just don't often ask about uh issues and needs or offer resources. So I hope this episode does that for you, or at least jumpstart the conversation. And if you know someone who might benefit from the information you hear today, please do share this episode. If you're listening and it gets you curious about more things, pelvic floor physical therapist, I want to refer you to a couple other episodes, especially if you're a newer listener, because I am a big fan of pelvic floor PT. So that would be episodes with Heather Jeff Coat, episode 8 and 36, and also tips from Alexa, my own PT, episode 83. And ooh, I also am gonna link to my conversation with Anna from Mad Hatter. That was episode 65 called Sex Ed for All Abilities. This is a rich conversation with Laura. She has a lot of experience. Let's jump in. Laura, welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. I'm so excited to be here with you today.
SPEAKER_00I'm delighted to have you. I'd like you to just introduce yourself and your work in the world to my people, my friends and audience.
SPEAKER_02So, well, yeah, I'm Laura Gleisbrook. I am a physical therapist by training. I have been in practice for goodness, over 10 years at this point. I started out as sort of a neurological specialist. So I worked at a specialty center that worked with spinal cord injury, brain injury, stroke, and rehab for that. So I specialized in that for the first several years of my career. Um and then I sort of found my way into pelvic health. So I transitioned out of the hospital system where I worked, and I did a lot more just private PT-owned practice, looking at people with of all genders, looking at things like pelvic health, pelvic floor dysfunction, sexual dysfunction, and things like that. And now I've also found myself in the scoliosis space. So I am now in a place where I do primarily pelvic health and scoliosis specific exercise. But one of my big I have a big heart for talking about sex and how to adapt sex for people who have experienced any number of life changes, because as we all know, one of the only constants in life is change and knowing how to make sure that we are being supportive in whatever someone's new normal looks like and giving them resources for that.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful and so needed. I've followed your work and well, you have a lot of specific places that you enter into or too that a lot of people don't. So I appreciate that. And you have your own journey with scoliosis, yes.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02So I kind of that's what got me into PT in the first place. I had a spinal fusion surgery when I was 11. And I, you know, there's a lot to my story that looking back now, I I kind of wish things had been done a little bit differently. But I found after my surgery, I saw a PT who, of course, got me up out of bed and got me up and down the stairs, and I thought this would be a really cool job. And so it sort of imprinted on me from a young age that this was a really cool thing to do. And I think I was always just drawn to almost that troubleshooting aspect, which is one reason why I think I'm so passionate about finding solutions for people. Um, because I think that sometimes in the system that we live in, there's not a lot of people who were either have the time or the knowledge to go into depth for some of these issues. And so I think it's a a product of our broken medical system, and you know, people have needs that maybe they're not really disclosing to their doctor or they don't feel comfortable.
SPEAKER_00So that's that's why I'm glad we could have this conversation together because you and I are comfortable and we want to help people be more comfortable. Yes, yes. So you work with clients day in and day out, and what do you think are your top one or two concerns that your clients are facing in relation to sex? Big question there.
SPEAKER_02That is a very big question. And I think, of course, as I mentioned, I think all of us as we age and just as our bodies change, it's normal. I know I've heard you speak about this in other episodes before too, but it's normal for sex to change as we get older or as things happen in our lives. And so a lot of times people can find themselves in a base or a situation. So for people that I see, a lot of times it can be an injury or an illness or a surgery, and they're finding that they can't really enjoy sex in the way that they did before this event. So, you know, maybe that was like let's say it was a spinal fusion surgery. I see, you know, adults who have spinal fusion surgery, and maybe some of the positions that they used to enjoy are no longer comfortable, or they don't feel like they have, you know, the ability to tolerate being in certain positions or they have concerns. So sometimes it's it's things like that. Sometimes it's someone who has had like a neurological injury. It can be actual like their tone, like their muscles are so so tight that they're unable to either get in different positions to have sex, or sometimes it's the tone of those muscles, like our pelvic floor muscles. I know that you've spoken about this before, but our pelvic floor has to be able to have a certain amount of stretch, especially as the receiving partner, to be able to have intimacy or at least intercourse, penetration. And so sometimes that can be impacted, or you know, just as a positioning, I can't tolerate being in that position. It's painful or it's uncomfortable. And of course, for all of us, especially women, anyone who's going through menopause, we have changes that happen within our pelvis that can also create more issues, whether that's discomfort during intercourse, whether that can be, you know, just changes in lubrication, changes in ability to tolerate certain, whether it's positions, whether it's, you know, an endurance perspective, just changes that can be quite frustrating because especially if, you know, they have a very certain expectation of what sex should be, it can be extremely harmful. There's a lot of women, especially, who end up getting separated or getting divorced because they can't enjoy sex or they can't have sex the way that they used to. So it's a big quality of life issue.
SPEAKER_00I appreciate you calling that out because I think that people, you know, they're so focused on this one way of sex looking and no education around the changes or if injury comes or you know, an accident or a post op or just all of these things you're mentioning. And then they they have no bandwidth to pivot. Yeah. No framework either. So no education. I just I just did an author event this weekend, and I sat next to a woman who was going through the menopause transition, and she said, Oh, well, I think I'll buy your book, but she was another author, but she said, you know, it's just not comfortable. The first thing I said, are you using lube? Like, let me get let me get in my bag and get she goes, What? I get the same, I think get the same response. What? Like it's unknown to people. I'm getting out my Uber lube samples, I'm passing them around at the book event. Hello, everyone, let's try my favorite silicone lube. And then she brought over her sister, and then she brought over her her other friend. They're all the same age, and they're just, can I try that? You know, this is just one example with lubrication, but I find it it's such a common change that many women go through lubrication changing and then having no education or context for using a good lubricant for sex.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that well, luckily for us, there are people like you in this space who are talking about the importance of lubrication. There's also vaginal moisturizers that we can use, there's different products that are available, and I think that it's getting to be more known, but I think a lot of people just when they go to like their doctor or even their their GYN, maybe they're not even getting this information on there's some changes. Maybe they're even asking the question, you know, sex isn't comfortable anymore. And I'm sure that you've heard plenty of women say that their providers have said unhelpful things like have a glass of wine or you know, something just relax. Yes, wholly unhelpful.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I'm gonna link to my blog about uh, you know, how to ask questions with a provider and bring up your concerns if you feel like, oh, I just don't don't know where to start, you know. So I'll link to that in the show notes. It's just helpful. I think as a nurse, I found if people have a little script, it's sometimes helpful to go in, you know, ahead of time having thought about these questions or concerns and how to bring them up. So you definitely talk a lot about changes like we're talking about with lubrication, but also there's a lot of direct and indirect changes, you always say, to sexual response. Just whether it's any of these scenarios that we've brought up. I would like to have us go through some of those because I find that people don't equate them with what's happening with their body.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00They don't equate the sexual changes as in relation to what's happening with their body. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02I do, I do. I think it's it's one of those things, and honestly, I did not have a great appreciation for it myself until I was into pelvic health, and I started to understand more all of the steps that have to happen for pleasurable sexual scenario, pleasurable sexual situations. So there's actually kind of four steps that are in a typical sexual response, and that's for men and women, all genders. So the first is sort of that desire, or you know, the libido. And as we know, so if Emily Nagoski's work, I know you've probably spoken to people about this before, there's different types of desire. There's spontaneous desire, there's but there usually has to be some libido or some desire that is sort of the first step. And that can change during certain periods of life, that can change with like even anxiety, that can change after the menopause transition, that can change after, you know, a trauma, like a surgery or an injury. And so that first step, that if that's impacted, of course, that's going to impact the whole process. If someone is even desiring of sex or sexual encounter, just the first step. And then the second step is that arousal. So that might be usually starts with like increased blood flow to your genitals, so to the penis, to the vagina, and the clitoris. And for people with evolva, that is usually that onset of the lubrication, that vaginal canal starts to elongate. And so that's that preparatory piece of a sexual experience. And so that can be impacted. So if someone has, let's say, issues with like aftermenopause, or if they've had some kind of blood flow issue, that can be an issue. So for men, that might look like a erectile dysfunction or you know, inability to maintain an erection, that might look like decreased ability to even get any lubrication to begin with, or to have any of that piece. And then the third step is actually the third piece is the orgasm. And so that's actually a contraction of the pelvic floor muscles. I have listened to all your episodes, but I can't remember if anyone's actually said that before.
SPEAKER_00I'm not sure we've spelled it out just like that. We talk about the pelvic floor a lot, I'll tell you.
SPEAKER_02I know, I do, and I love it. My pelvic floor heart loves that.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02The orgasm itself is basically a series of pelvic floor muscle contractions. And so that in the in the female, that just looks like that contraction, and then for the male, there's ejaculation, usually associated with that. And then there's usually like a refractory period or a satisfaction where everything kind of returns to baseline. We have the relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles. So there's four different steps, and we can have impacts at any of those steps. So, for a lot of people, like I mentioned, that might be just a lack of libido. That might be that they've lost a lot of that desire to begin with, and that can make things really, really challenging. Luckily, there are some medications, even for women, that are coming out for that, which is really exciting. But we can also start to see changes in sensation for for either for either gender, and certainly changes in lubrication. Particularly, there are some points of life where we're going to see that more than others. So if someone is postpartum or nursing, or if they're in their menopause transition, we can see a lot more challenge with just the lubrication to begin with.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02If someone's had like a neurological injury, or you know, throughout the life, if we have chronic pain, you might see changes in tone. So, tone, in case no one has really specifically mentioned that. We can have muscles that are kind of really hyperactive and over-responsive. So if someone has like a really, really tight and spastic muscle, that can be an impact. So that could be just the legs, or that could even be the pelvic floor. The pelvic floor itself can actually go into basically like a spasm. And that can impact, especially for women, that can impact their ability to have at least penetrative intercourse. You could also see changes in someone's ability to get engaged engorgement of their clitoris. You may see changes in the frequency or the intensity of an orgasm. That can all change throughout the lifespan, depending on what's going on psychologically, depending there's so many things that can be impacted.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so many. I get so many questions about orgasm intensity. I think I'm just gonna insert this here before we move forward because I've gotten several posthysterectomy clients who have talked about a change in their orgasm. Others who have it, like you mentioned, experienced a lot of pain. And then their changes in there. And I just think that I want to insert here that orgasm doesn't always feel and look the same way. And when there's changes, I just want to open this conversation for people to realize that just because they all felt one way, right? There can be different ways of experiencing that. Now I'm not saying we can't take some steps to help our orgasms. That's not what I'm saying, because we can't, right? But I do think it's sometimes really hard for people when that shifts. And not just women. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I have a whole blog on you know erectile dissatisfaction versus dysfunction because I do think that penis owners they can really start to freak out when their penis doesn't do what it used to do or what they're used to it doing. Yes.
SPEAKER_02I've seen that as well in the patients and clients I work with. I think, of course, there's a broader conversation as well on our comfort in communicating with our partner or partners. Oh, yes. Which can be challenging even, you know, anytime we think about talking about sex, sometimes people can have a lot of feelings. But, you know, I think it there might be a relationship dynamic there of maybe they don't feel comfortable talking about it or they feel some kind of way about you know what what sex has always looked like. So I do I mean it's definitely a challenge for sure.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. And also just overall body image changes is just such a it's just such a big factor in how we see ourselves and then how we come to sex.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely. And our bodies do change as we just even as we age without any issues, like without any injuries, without any surgeries, our bodies just change and absolutely it can make us feel some kind of way.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. You have done so much work with clients of spinal cord injury or really big body changes and limitations. And so I'm letting listeners know she's gonna share her adaptive aids and you know, some just really practical tools if you're listening and thinking I need some specifics here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna get to that. So you mentioned relationship dynamics and changes there and communication with that, always a factor, yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then medications.
SPEAKER_02I think depending on what's going on for someone, there are secondary factors that also like indirect changes from other areas. So if you're on a medication or if you're let's say you have something like ADHD, which I think is a lot of people are finding out in adulthood that maybe they do have some neurodivergence and that can change how we're able to even just be present for a sexual encounter. There are certain medications that we know impact our sexual experience. So if someone is on like an SSRI, or you know, if they are on certain medications, pain medications, it can impact their experience. Sometimes the sexual response can actually change based on where you are in that medication cycle. You know, if you have just taken the medicine, you might feel some kind of way, like and it might be positive or negative.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. And I always encourage people when you see your providers and you're offered a new medication or you're talking through, going on some new medication. Please think to ask, you know, how will this affect my sexuality? And well, is there any known side effects, you know, that I'll experience around that? So that you know up front what you could be facing and then what your options are, right? But whoa, we don't think to ask that piece because we often don't see our sexual health as part of our overall health when in fact it really is.
SPEAKER_02It really is. And I think that starts from a lot of medical providers, at least in my area, they don't ask the question, no one's initiating that conversation. And so it's almost like the patient needs to be the one to bring it up, but then that feels really uncomfortable. So it's like there's not enough space for the conversation to even happen in the first place.
SPEAKER_00Yes. You've dealt with a lot of dexterity, mobility challenges. This is your forte. That's a big change for people.
SPEAKER_02It is, it is a big change. I also feel like there's so after, you know, whether it's through aging or whether it's through an injury, sometimes for some people they really prioritize self-pleasure. Or that might be part of their sexual experiences. They are pleasuring themselves. And if they lose the dexterity of one or both hands, that can be I mean hugely impactive.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02So there are actually some tools now that there's one specifically for penis owners. It's called the Handy. I don't know if you've heard of it.
SPEAKER_00I have.
SPEAKER_02Okay, perfect. H A N D I. It is a tool that they can use to do some of their like basically to be the moving piece for stimulation.
SPEAKER_00It's an automatic stroker, right?
SPEAKER_02It's an automatic stroker, yes. Is it remote controlled? There is a remote control. It's interesting because when they first came out, they actually were the article that I saw was targeting specifically people with dexterity or mobility challenges. And now when you look at the website, it's actually different.
SPEAKER_01So
SPEAKER_02So they've changed the marketing a bit, which I found very interesting. But I believe it actually started, if I'm remembering correctly, it was an engineer's brother who was either had cerebral palsy or something and he was unable to use his hand. So it actually was inspired by that, which I thought was really, really kind of interesting and cool.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Not sure there's anything quite like it out there. I'm not familiar with anything else. So I'll link to that so you can find it in the show notes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So there's issues like that. So if it's dexterity, you know, there are luckily for especially for women or people with Vulvas, there are a lot more tools that are available now, a lot of different types of devices, a lot of different types of stimulation. But that might be if it's a partnered experience, you know, there may be some conversations that need to be had on Oh, there will be some conversations that need to be had. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Not there may be.
SPEAKER_02That's true. Yes. I feel like that's a really big piece too is having that conversation with your partner or with, you know, your people on these are my limitations now. How can we make this look different? Or what do we need to do to bridge this gap? And I think the good thing about in the time where we are now with the internet and all the things is you can look up pretty easily. There are myriad options, but it's just a matter of knowing what you're looking for, what your expectations are, and then just being willing to pivot and to have a new experience. And maybe it'll work and maybe it won't, but you know, you you you gotta start somewhere.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I think that piece of if it doesn't work, what I always like to tell clients is okay, well, you learned something.
SPEAKER_02Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_00That's not a negative thing. Everything doesn't work for everybody, and especially in someone who's, you know, really where their body has changed drastically and they're having to really make adaptations. And everyone deserves pleasure, everybody's body deserves pleasure. So I just appreciate these different options that are out there. I remember you wrote it wrote to me about the intimate writer.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I had not heard of that. So tell me a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_02So back when I was working more primarily in the spinal cord injury or like the neurologic space, I was lucky enough to be in on some of these conversations on how to adapt for differences after like a catastrophic injury. So Intimate Rider is actually there are a couple different options, but it's basically a chair that you can use to sit in to have sex, like for someone who cannot sit on their own or someone who has had a spinal cord injury or or needs some kind of assistance for support. And there are multiple options on how you can get set up, but basically there's a rocking component, so it allows someone to have sex in a way that is not just laying flat, it gives them the option for a different position. You know, it can be the person who is injured in the chair, or it could be the able-bodied person. There's options. There's also that same company, they make a variety of slings that, you know, like a sex sling that you can get someone in, and that can be really helpful for somebody with a lot of tone. Like a lot of people, after an injury like that, they can have a lot of tone in their legs that kind of keeps their legs closed, which can be obviously an issue for trying to have sex.
SPEAKER_00When she's saying tone, she's talking about muscle tone. Muscle tone, yes. Okay, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Sorry, my PT brain, yes.
SPEAKER_00Um You're just great. I'm just inserting for those of us who aren't in the PT world.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. I sometimes I forget to say these things, but yes, you can have a lot of like where the muscles they they tend to stay, like the legs tend to stay kind of really tightly pulled together. And so Intimate Rider and other companies like it, they also have props that you can put between or like a strap or even straps to kind of keep the legs separated so that it's a little bit easier to have sex, to have any type of access to the genitals. Access to the genitals, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Sure, yes. Okay, and then the other one you sent me was bump and joystick.
SPEAKER_02The bump and joystick, yes.
SPEAKER_00And that was designed by the disability community, yeah?
SPEAKER_02Yes, that's another one that's similar. It's called like a gender fluid sex toy, but essentially it's another one where you don't need your hands. You know, you can use something else. It's a tool that you can use that makes it more accessible. So for someone who doesn't have dexterity, for someone who I've mentioned this for people who have RA, who have a lot of pain with their hands, you know.
SPEAKER_00Rheumatoid arthritis.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, rheumatoid arthritis or different conditions where they have a lot of pain with grabbing things or grasping things.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02Or just to even have another tool just to shake things up, to look for when sex has to look different, to give them another option to find pleasure.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Great. It's a pillow that actually holds your favorite sex toy. Right? The joystick?
SPEAKER_02The joystick itself, there is a pillow component, but there actually is a there's a separate piece, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02There are also um some really great, like I recommend a lot. There's these wedges, like wedges that you can use for positioning. There's all kinds of pillows you can get, depending on your space, you can actually get like a a seat, like a sex seat that has different, you know, different heights that you can sit on. There's really a lot of cool things that are available now.
SPEAKER_00So much more now, yes. Yeah, isn't there? And I'm thinking, I'm always just so curious. People don't even try using the pillows in their bed. I mean, it you know, or just what's around the house, even if it's not a major injury, or you're just looking for a little lift, you know, or change in the position or more comfort, right? Yeah. Don't be afraid to just reach out and try, you know, roll one of your blankets up or try your hips on a pillow, or people say, Oh, I can't kneel anymore. Put some pillows under your knees, or I mean, I'm simplifying it for those of us without major injury, but I just do think we sometimes don't think about making our environment more comfortable for sex.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And that's a big component. I mean, even just being a little creative and trying to look at how to make adaptations. We can even be bored, you know. Sometimes if you're with the same partner for a long time and try a new position or, you know, maybe go to a shop together and and find some toys, you know. I think there's so many, there's so many options.
SPEAKER_00There are. So we're talking about, you know, some specific things, but we're also saying in general about trying something new and making yourself more comfortable by adding props or lube or getting your Uber lube out, using your pillows in your house. I just do think, Laura, that people they're hesitant to pause things, pause an encounter. Either to say, Oh, I that's not comfortable for me, you know. So many women do even with the lubrication piece, they just gut it out, you know, thinking, oh, it's just friction, it's uncomfortable, I don't you know, it's not enjoyable, instead of saying, Ah, oop, nope, I'm gonna need extra lube. Can you get the Uber lube? Let's go here. I'm you know, they think it's gonna just wreck, I don't know, change the mood or what have you. But I'm telling you, you're not gonna want sex that is not pleasurable, let alone painful. So it's always about asking for what you need or saying what you need or trying new things. This is just a healthy way to come to sexual activity.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I I think that there's probably some just you know, the culture that we all grew up in of it's almost shameful to especially as a woman, I feel like there's some inherent shame in wanting pleasure for yourself, which I know your book does an amazing job talking about that.
SPEAKER_00Thing.
SPEAKER_02But I think there's there's that deeper issue of some women just they minimize their own experience because they've been taught that their experience doesn't matter, which I think is so sad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Let's circle back to a couple more specific resources that you shared with me, and I want you to share with the listeners for those who had a spinal cord injury. There's a specific sexuality site, yes?
SPEAKER_02Yes, so there's a few. So one of my favorites is sexualitysci.org. Okay. So that one is, of course, specific to spinal cord injury, but I've actually sent many people who have similar like mobility challenges to that site. They have a really great, they have some videos on there. There's some really good, just even ideas on some conversations to have or some things that maybe people haven't thought about or haven't heard one of their providers mention. There's also sexualityandisability.org, which is another great one. And then one of my favorite blogs is it's on a site called newmobility.com, and it's called The Quest for Accessible Sex Toys.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Love that.
SPEAKER_02I just love it because I think that there's a lot of growth that's happening. I mean, where I live in Atlanta, there's actually a relatively new sex store that haters too more of people with accessibility issues or, you know, disability. And so I think that these things are becoming a little bit more common. But I think that luckily, at least here in the age where we're living, there are so many blogs and resources and people who have been through this who are wanting to share their experience that I think is is really helpful.
SPEAKER_00Great. Thanks so much for offering those to the listeners. And I just the work you're doing. It's so it's just so needed, Laura. And I appreciate you know your focus on not everybody is able-bodied, and you do a beautiful job of inclusion and and practical resources, which is what people want.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You're holding one in your hand. Wait, what?
SPEAKER_02I have the own.
SPEAKER_00Ownut rings.
SPEAKER_02I'm also a fidgeter.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well.
SPEAKER_02Have you talked about ownut on the podcast before?
SPEAKER_00We have several times, but not lately. Why don't you go ahead and share about them? Because that's a great resource. There's nothing quite like those either.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So I brought them out sort of as a reminder to myself. So for a lot of people, typically people with vulvas or women that can have some pain with particularly deep intercourse or deep penetration, the O nut is a really nice, so it's a set of four interlocking rings that you can place over your partner's penis or the sex toy. And it limits the depth of how far somebody can insert, which is kind of nice because for some people, it can be very pleasurable for the you know the first half, but once they get that's almost like they hit, like I've heard patients say it feels like they hit a brick wall when they get to, you know, a certain past a certain limit. So the owner is a really nice way to kind of keep that, it's sort of like a guardrail. Mm-hmm. And also you can, it's they're kind of fun to play with, they're squishy in your hand.
SPEAKER_00She has them in your bring this up here because it just dawned on me. I've had several women recently in the menopause transition talk about depth issues, and theirs is related to lubrication deep. So so many people talk about needing lube on the outside or the entrance to the vagina. But I often have women say, Oh, I'm fine with initial insertion, but once it goes deep, it is like, you know, I put it in the book, having sex with Edward Scissorhands. I mean, it's just really uncomfortable. And then they say, But nobody talks about that. I thought maybe it was just, you know, because no one's getting specific. But this is where your Uber lube, your really good lube is helpful to have on the penetrating part so that you have some going in deeper. Or if you need more protection from depth, you can use these O nut rings and they work like a charm. And you can use one, two, or three. You know, you can make it or four, you can make it specific. Yeah. To your needs.
SPEAKER_02There's also some really awesome vaginal moisturizers that are available now. Now that would be something you could use on a regular basis.
SPEAKER_00Right, not just not for sex.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, not for sex, just on a regular basis. There's also a lot of really awesome research. I'm sure probably you've you've spoken with someone about this before, but on vaginal estrogen, just as a protection in general for the tissues of the, you know, the vulva and the vaginal opening. Because sometimes after menopause, just as we lose that estrogen, those tissues can become a little bit more fragile. And so it can lead to a lot more of those issues. So, of course, we we love our Uber lube. I have a whole drawer just off-screen here of Uber lube and some other types, but vaginal estrogen has actually been proven to be very safe for even women with breast cancer. There's new research on that. Um, using vaginal moisturizers. But yes, there are tools where you can look at limiting the depth, or you can look at trying different types of sex, you know. Maybe we look at a different more of an oral, or maybe we try some sort, sort of a different position. There's different positions that you can use to sort of limit the depth as well. So I have two that I love the most. So to limit the depth, the woman on top tends to be the easiest for at least, you know, she can be in control of that. And also being laying on the side tends to be more comfortable. So with the woman laying on the side and then the penetrating partner being behind tends to be two of the best positions as far as limiting that deep penetration.
SPEAKER_00Okay, there you go. There you have it from Laura, your two position tips. Anything you just really want to share before we wrap up that maybe we haven't covered.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I think, first of all, Cindy, I love all the work that you're doing. I mean, I personally love your podcast and all of the I love that you're opening this conversation for permission for pleasure because I do think unfortunately we have a long way to go as a society of just a lot of shame behind even the thought of women wanting to access their pleasure. And I think it is important to know that there's a saying that, you know, we will all become disabled at some point. Like there will be something that will change how we are in the world, and that's part of life. And we could approach that with, you know, a resignation, or we could approach that with consideration of, okay, well, we need to make changes. I am still worthy of pleasure. There are things that I can do to change my relationship with my body and my relationship with the others around me. And so I hope that anyone listening who might be experiencing any of these challenges will give themselves the permission to do the hard work of having that conversation and trying to find some small way to reintroduce pleasure, however, that looks for them.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful. Every word of that. Thank you. Tell people how they can find you and your work in the world.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely. I am most active on Instagram at Laura L-A-U-R-A dot g dot d pt. I have a newsletter through my website, which is www.dr, lauraglaisebrook.com. And people can contact me with specific questions. I have a couple blogs I'm working on on adaptive sex, so those should be coming out hopefully within the next couple of weeks.
SPEAKER_00Good.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, I'm I am always around.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful. When this show, you know, Laura, we like to share something that delights us. And this season. Well, I'm asking people to share a sensual delight. So something that delights you with your senses where you feel pleasure in your body. I wonder if you can think of something.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I love this. Is I'm a Taurus, so I'm big into sensual.
SPEAKER_00There you go.
SPEAKER_02I am a big fan of just standing outside on the grass with the sun hitting my skin. I feel a lot of times, especially in just the world that we're living in now, with the news cycle and everything that's happening, I find I can feel very dysregulated. So one of my favorite things to do is just to take off my shoes and socks and go stand in the grass and just give myself a few minutes of just grounding with the earth and then feeling that sun hit my skin and taking some deep breath. I feel like a new woman when I'm done with that.
SPEAKER_00I like that too. Thanks so much for being with us and listeners. I hope you heard this last piece, especially from Laura and her encouragement to all of us if we have a season in our life that we need to adapt, if there's change, if there's challenges, and there will be, that we can learn to embrace and give ourselves permission for pleasure.
