Romanistan

Chronic Pain and Healing with Klaudia Farkas of Romani Roots

• Jezmina Von Thiele and Paulina Stevens • Season 5 • Episode 3

Share episode

Klaudia Farkas is a Romani woman, Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA) since 2010, a self-taught herbalist since 2014, and an esthetician since 2020. She is the founder and owner of Romani Roots and Romani Roots Skincare and Herbal Remedies, based in the heart of Noe Valley, San Francisco. With a passion for holistic wellness, Klaudia blends her extensive knowledge in healthcare, natural remedies, and skincare to empower others on their journey to health and self-care.

Visit her website https://romani-roots-skincare.chrone.work/ and follow her at @romaniroots on Instagram. 

Romani crushes this episode are Meghan Ores of Luludi and Jennileen Joseph of Sastimos Holistic Health (listen to our interviews with both of them!)

Also shoutout to ally and poet Liv Mammone who writes powerful poetry about disability, werewolves, and more.

Thank you for listening to Romanistan podcast.

You can find us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @romanistanpodcast, and on Twitter @romanistanpod. To support us, Join our Patreon for extra content or donate to Ko-fi.com/romanistan, and please rate, review, and subscribe. It helps us so much. 

Follow Jez on Instagram @jezmina.vonthiele & Paulina @romaniholistic. 

You can get our book Secrets of Romani Fortune Telling, online or wherever books are sold. Visit romanistanpodcast.com for events, educational resources, merch, and more. Please support our book tour fundraiser if you can. 

Email us at romanistanpodcast@gmail.com for inquiries. 

Romanistan is hosted by Jezmina Von Thiele and Paulina Stevens

Conceived of by Paulina Stevens

Edited by Viktor Pachas

With Music by Viktor Pachas

And Artwork by Elijah Vardo



Paulina Stevens:

Welcome to Romanistan. We're your friendly neighborhood gypsies.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I'm Paulina and I'm Jez, and we're here today with Claudia Farkas, of Romani Roots.

Paulina Stevens:

Claudia Farkas is a Romani woman, certified nurse assistant since 2010 and a self-taught herbalist since 2014 and an esthetician since 2020. She is the founder and owner of Romani Roots and Romani Roots Skincare and Herbal Remedies, based in the heart of no valley, san francisco. With a passion for holistic wellness, claudia blends her extensive knowledge in health care, natural remedies and skin care to empower others on their journey to health and self-care.

Klaudia Farkas:

Thank, you guys, we're so happy to have you here.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Thank you, I'm so happy to be here finally yes yeah, it's been a dream in the making for a while.

Klaudia Farkas:

It's been a long time. I feel like you asked me to do this. Like what. Was it like two, three years ago, or something I don't know. Oh, it's something that's coming up with one of three of us with something that's coming up with one of one of three of us, totally, but you know it's perfect timing because it was a lot's happened since then, so I'm happy to be here now, divine timing.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Yeah, would you like to start by answering our favorite intro question? Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? Where's your family from? What's your visa? Anything else you'd like to share about your background?

Klaudia Farkas:

okay, um, so I am originally from Hungary. Um, I was born in Budapest and we left Hungary in um 1986 and went to Austria I think a few of our relatives had already left, and so that's how my parents found out that you know, there was opportunity to go to America and they were giving away flights to refugees, and so we ended up in a refugee camp in Austria for a little bit, which was in 86. And then in 88, we ended up in San Francisco in the tenderloin and yeah, so that's, and we've been in San Francisco ever since. We've never left San Francisco. My family I never know how to say this, but is a Calderash, as far as I know. That's a little bit about where I'm from and, yeah, sf native. I've been here forever. Um, I've pretty much moved all around San Francisco, so every district I've lived in and I've been here ever since and still travel back home from time to time. I try to go every summer, but it's really expensive do you have a favorite neighborhood in San Francisco?

Klaudia Farkas:

That's a hard one. I love all San Francisco. I mean, yeah, I love it all. I feel like San Francisco is not the same anymore. So you know, it's kind of sad that it's changed so much, because San Francisco, you know, in the 90s and the 80s is not what it is today. It's really sad. There's just a lot of homeless and, um, all the SF natives have left, so it's very different. But, um, but yeah, I love it all. I love, you know, the sunset. I love Ocean Beach. I love um.

Klaudia Farkas:

Brisbane's probably my favorite right now, just because it's its own little. It's like 10 minutes away from San Francisco. It's where I live and we are. I live on Native American land and so I live in this little cove and over San Bruno Mountain so I get all the bunnies and the coyotes, so we kind of we kind of get our own ecosystem here. So it's it's my little safe haven. You know, it's like I can go to the city and get that like San Francisco experience, but then come back to this little small town in Brisbane and just like feel safe and have my family and, you know, quiet it's beautiful, and you have a stunning plant behind you too, so I feel like I'm there yeah, it's cute, it's.

Klaudia Farkas:

I'm, I'm very grateful, um, it's. It was kind of industrial like biker town before and, um, everyone found out about it, of course. So now everyone's like, oh, I live in Brisbane, you know, and, um, but yeah, back in the day it was very affordable, you know, you could buy a house for like 150,000 and now houses are like, you know, a million, two. It's just everyone's fighting to be here. So I think I'm very lucky because I pretty much manifested this house. We were living in Brisbane and I moved here in 2010 with my man and he grew up here.

Klaudia Farkas:

I was always in SF and you know, we were in a one bedroom little cottage home with two kids and I was like, I want a garden, you know, and we were also in an apartment. So we went from little small one bedroom to apartment and we ended up in. You know, I wanted to stay in Brisbane. Covid hit, it was crazy wanted to stay in Brisbane. Covid, hit, it was crazy. You know, I thought the little one was sick from mold, but actually he had got COVID even before we knew COVID had existed, and so we left um and went into apartment and stayed there for like about a year and this place opened up randomly. I was looking on Craigslist and you know they don't want to let anyone in. They're like oh, do you make this much? How many kids do you have? And so the woman who was renting this place, she was super chill, um, she was actually like yeah you can turn this room into a room.

Klaudia Farkas:

You can turn that room into a room. Nice.

Paulina Stevens:

Nice. Yeah, I make seven times the rent.

Klaudia Farkas:

Right, exactly, so it's super affordable. I always wanted a house where I have a downstairs so my mom can live with me, because I came here with my family and it's just hard to leave my family.

Paulina Stevens:

It's just how we roll, so I always need an extra room for my, my mom and dad, oh yes since we sometimes think of ourselves as rebels and our definition changes pretty much daily, um, we'd like to ask do you see yourself as a rebel?

Klaudia Farkas:

definitely, um, yeah, I uh, I mean just even being Aquarius, but definitely being like Aquarius and Romani, like for sure. Um, I was always trying to hit a cut or, you know, like just all over the place. I was very unpredictable. I always, always wanted to, you know. Do you know, if you told me it was gonna burn, I was gonna, you know, challenge you and say are you sure? And even if it did burn, I would say I'm still not sure. Let me do that again, you know. So definitely like just super outgoing love to you know. Definitely like just super outgoing love to you know, push boundaries and try new things and definitely rebel against everything and find my own ways, you know understandable.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I love um Aquarius and Roma together. Does that feel like a special combo for you?

Klaudia Farkas:

I really do. I like I've met some Aquarians and you know some of them. I see a little bit of it in people, but, honestly, like being Roma and Aquarius is just magical. Like you know cause I feel like I'm already, we're already such caring, nurturing people, and then to add that humanitarian sign in there, it's just, it's so cool and it just I feel like it really enhances like my powers right, like my intuition, my psychic abilities and just my connection with you know, plants and animals and all that stuff.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I can totally see that. It brings us to our next question. You're a healer in so many ways. Was healing work part of your family, trades or practices, or did you come by it another way? And what do you enjoy about all the different ways that you heal as a CNA, an herbalist, esthetician, medicine maker, et cetera?

Klaudia Farkas:

That's a loaded question, it is that's a really loaded question.

Klaudia Farkas:

Um, okay, give me a minute. Um, so you know, I've thought about this within myself for so long and there's so many answers to this question. I think to go a little further back. I think, um, one, just being Roma, like just the fact that you're Roma, you already come with um, all these abilities. And then I think of, like why and you know, it's really just sitting next to I really want to give it to, like my great grandparents and my parents, because, you know, I think about, like what makes me who I am.

Klaudia Farkas:

And aside from you know, the car accidents which I'll get into, but you know I used to sit with my grandma, who she was from. It's called the Tzigan Kerek, which is, you know, a gypsy circle. So she lived in the village in Hungary and she was very poor. She lived in the gypsy circle and got married very young to my grandpa, and so they've really had to learn how to survive off nothing and she really had to find ways to heal herself her Down syndrome, son, my grandpa with diabetes, and so I really just the fact that, like I've had the chance to be around them Because my grandpa just passed both my grandpas just passed and both my grandmas are still alive, and so I've gotten a good amount of time sitting with them watching her cook.

Klaudia Farkas:

Sitting with them watching her cook, you know, watching her save my grandpa when he's having a diabetic attack without medication, right. And so I think a lot of my personality really comes from my grandparents. And, yeah, just like her teaching me how to grab potatoes straight out of boiling water, right, like no, you know, you, you explain that to someone and they're like, oh, I can do that, and it's just. It's like I feel like it's every Instagram, right. Like the person trying to touch the tortilla from the pan and it looks like nothing. And the guy trying to do it, he's like, ah, you know. So those kind of things. And just like the way she's like taking care of me when I had a fever, um, the way I've watched her take care of my Down syndrome uncle who just passed um not that long ago.

Klaudia Farkas:

So those kind of, I feel like, without me even realizing have really um made me who I am, and I think, you know, being a rebel and just getting into drugs and you know being all over the place, these things never really stood out to me until I had to actually put them to use, and it wasn't until, you know, I went through a lot of abusive relationships, I went through a lot of trauma. I feel like those also have really helped me become a healer and have taught me within those experiences, how to heal myself. But, you know, the real healing came from being disabled, which was in 2012. I had, you know, my first car accident. I was 28 years old and I had two car accidents back to back, which were four months apart.

Klaudia Farkas:

That completely disabled me and you know, I didn't know what to do, and so I, you know, was in chronic pain, to the point where the pain was blinding, I was almost throwing up from pain sometimes, and so I really had to sit with that and find ways to heal myself that weren't medicine, because I knew that ibuprofen and medication wasn't going to work for me. Because I knew that ibuprofen and medication wasn't going to work for me because you know I do have a history of the rave scene and you know partying and taking ecstasy and doing drugs and I just knew that ibuprofen and medication wasn't going to do anything.

Klaudia Farkas:

It was just going to make everything worse.

Klaudia Farkas:

So that was a huge part of my healing and, you know, just with my nursing background and like working in hospice, working with people that were, you know, over 100 years old and, you know, doing wound care, touching bodies all day, and working in the elderly community, I feel like really helped me understand the body as a whole, especially when it comes closer to death, and so I just kind of I feel like everything just kind of came together the way it should.

Klaudia Farkas:

I feel like the accidents happened for a reason to push me where I'm at today, you know, including my third car accident which you know I had to deal. The first two I had to deal with physical pain which really had to make me it kind of like sat me down to think about all the trauma, all the things I've been through, because I was, I was still, my mind was active, but my body was disabled, and so I really had to sit with all this you know trauma in my life and sit with it. And I, you know it was either it was either going to take me down or I was either going to fight it and make something out of it, which I did. Um, you know, I started making medicine for pain and, um you know, made uh created a business out of it thank you for sharing all that um.

Paulina Stevens:

I'm sorry that you have been through so much so yeah so much that kind of makes me want to ask what brought you to working with cannabis for pain relief.

Klaudia Farkas:

Thank you, paulina. So what brought me to cannabis? My man was actually a grower for about 10 years and what brought me to it was, well, one he was. He was actively growing. He was, um, he was actively growing, he was doing some pretty big grows and I really didn't know anything about it. I was using food and just kind of everything.

Klaudia Farkas:

I've learned from being resilient and you know my parents and coming here and surviving, not speaking English, all that stuff to survive, and so his mom actually she has her own disabilities that she'd struggled with since she was about 14 years old. Since she was about 14 years old, and so she really introduced organic food and a different way of moving. And I remember her giving me some cannabis cream to put on at her house. And I just remember, like four hours later, uh, feeling my pain again and going, holy shit, like what babe? You know what time is it? And realizing like, has it been four hours? Like, oh my god, and so that's really how it started, um, and I just started, you know that really like sparked something in me. It really sparked something in me. I mean, I had been moving into that on my own, just like moving into more plant based because I couldn't. I was so disabled that I couldn't use lung comb, I couldn't use those things that I was normally using, right that my mom, me and my mom would go to Macy's and get all these like yummy smelling things, like I just it would burn. And so I had already moved into like a plant-based way of living and he was growing probably the best weed that I've ever came across in my entire life.

Klaudia Farkas:

Honestly, and you know so, having already been playing with plants, I decided, hey, I'm going to incorporate cannabis into this whole, along with all the other plants that I'm already playing with. And you know, I started listening to podcasts and reading a lot and just kind of teaching myself about plants, and it was just very eyeopening. It was very I just couldn't believe like you rub this cream on you and you get relief for four hours. You know that was a huge deal to me because the pain was unbearable, as you know. You know, so, um, so yeah, so I tried it.

Klaudia Farkas:

My first batch ended up just being amazing. It was like one of my best batches and, uh, it was a from my rosemary bush in the garden and I had added some cannabis to it and it just was. It was powerful and initially I used it for just pain. And I just remember, like a month later, holding a cast iron pan and going, holy shit, I can't believe I'm holding a pan, like I can't believe I'm moving, I can't believe I'm cleaning, because I couldn't do that. I couldn't believe I'm holding a pen Like I can't believe I'm moving, I can't believe I'm cleaning, because I couldn't do that, I couldn't sit, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't really do anything. And so something that turned into pain management, turned into healing, that is so cool and interesting um.

Klaudia Farkas:

And I definitely want some of that cream for show. Yeah, I got you. I mean I've been trying to like send you both stuff and I'm just so. It's just been so much going on, it's like so crazy.

Paulina Stevens:

No, no, don't worry about it One day. One day. I feel like you kind of answered this a little bit earlier, kind of with like how your grandmother was just using things. But do you feel like the like plants and herbs that you work with are influenced by your culture and kind of so I mean I think so.

Klaudia Farkas:

I think you know, I think it's all in us, you know, I think the fact that we have had to rely on what's surrounding us because we didn't have access, we didn't have access, the same access that everybody else has had, you know, and I still don't. I still get judged, um, especially as I got older. I started to look more Roma. When I was younger, I looked a lot like I've I've changed so much over time, but I feel like, yeah, I feel like when I went to the doctors not that long ago, just because I was Roma, I, you know, I told I had this huge eye infection and she was like oh, no, no, you don't have an eye infection. Then there's literally like pus coming out of my eye and I'm like can I, can you give me eye drops? And she's like oh, maybe you have a piece of glass in your eye. And I was just kind of like don't you think I would know if I have a piece of glass in my?

Paulina Stevens:

I was like I'm not trying to like let me give you some of this puss and then we'll see.

Klaudia Farkas:

I'm not trying to offend you, lady. You know, like I was, she's older and I was trying to be as nice as I could you?

Klaudia Farkas:

know, because I could come off kind of strong, and so I was like you know, I know. And then she's like oh, maybe you're like rubbing your eyes and I'm like, look, I'm not five. I was like, first of all I'm not five and if I had a piece of glass in my eye I think I would know, you know, but I feel like, just because I was Roma, right Like I feel like I just I didn't get the same treatment and so I had to, so I was going back home, I was going back to Hungary this last summer or whatever and I get to Hungary and my I was almost going to like rip my eyes out because at that point it had spread to my eyeball right.

Klaudia Farkas:

It wasn't in the lid anymore, it was in the actual eyeball. And so I go to the doctors there and immediately she's like oh yeah, it's an infection, you need eye drops, and I was like I've been saying that. You know like I had to go to like three different people to get the answer, but back home, when I had asked her why okay, if it's an infection, then why was the doctor before that giving me this cream for something else, right? And she would not look at me.

Klaudia Farkas:

She would not look at me because my Hungarian, you know, one because I'm Roma and one because my Hungarian isn't as good as my dad, so I literally had to, like ask my dad multiple times to, you know, ask her the question, but she didn't want to talk to me because I'm Roma Right, so this might be a little off topic, but you know, yeah, I feel like I'm sorry. Can you repeat your question, Paulina, just so I can go back.

Paulina Stevens:

Oh, I feel like you answered it. Um, it was just kind of how your relationship with plants and your culture kind of intertwines. Yeah.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I think lack of access like we.

Klaudia Farkas:

Sometimes we have to make our own remedies because of bullshit like that totally, I feel like we rely on ourselves and just like you know you know it goes back to grandma like she's had to like do the best she could to to heal my grandpa and to heal herself and whatever. And I feel like when we were, you know, traveling, plants were our only access. Right, those were the things accessible. And you know, people go to school to become herbalists and all this stuff and spend all this money and I just don't retain information that way, like I can't go to school and have like a hundred plants in front of me and memorize their names and then be like, oh, oh, okay, this has this property, so this does this right.

Klaudia Farkas:

So it's just like I feel, like you are, I'm going to put it like I was the best tester, because I did have severe debilitating chronic pain like every day, to the point where debilitating chronic pain like every day, to the point where you're suicidal, right, and so I was my own tester, right. So plants that people normally are like, oh, you can't mix that with that, right, I'm like, really, because I did, and here I am and I've healed myself, right. So totally.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Yeah, I'm so impressed by the way you support people with chronic pain too. I mean, going through something like that creates this tremendous amount of compassion. And I remember I barely even knew you and I think I was posting a little bit about fibromyalgia even before I got like super, super sick and you sent me some pain bomb you know cannabis bomb and I was like this is so helpful, oh my God. And it was just so kind and, yeah, I started making my own and, like you know, buying stuff from you and it was like just so incredibly helpful.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I mean, I know, personally I rarely feel understood with my own chronic illness from pain, fibromyalgia, post COVID, ptsd, etc.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I think it's hard to talk about physical pain Like I don't know if you feel this way, but especially if you're from a family that's been through a lot, you don't spend a lot of time complaining or talking about it, you just power through it, and so it can be difficult to even let people know what you're going through or like communicate needs, at least for me. But um, so even though I've done advocacy in my own way around trauma survivors and other settings which feels related, I still have a really hard time talking about illness myself and um, and pain, and I feel like it can be very vulnerable because you can be dismissed as you try to explain it. People want to. You know, if you don't look sick from the out, from the outside, people get very judgmental. Um, and when you do, you know, I've been walking with a cane for a few years now and someone came up to me and was like oh why are you a crip?

Jezmina Von Thiele:

and I'm like did you just say that to a stranger?

Klaudia Farkas:

like oh my god, because I'm trying to look cool, I'm trying to be a crip, okay, like damn, it's a new look, it is a nerve condition.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Man, the new black that's messed up, oh my gosh. And so you know all of these. What would you like people to know or understand about the experience of living with chronic pain?

Klaudia Farkas:

So I feel like in general I already get hated on Just I don't know why, but that's just been what it is right, like. For some reason it's either people just love me, right, or they just hate. And you know my grandma's always like it's because you're cute. I'm like okay and like I'm just like what the fuck?

Klaudia Farkas:

right? But yeah, I feel like for me it has been so hard out of everything we've talked about so far, I think the hardest I mean not to take anything away from the pain, because holy, but like, I think that is the hardest thing and I think it's the biggest thing that I still fight, for, which I still somehow would like to create some kind of like organization, some nonprofit, to have people come through and sit and talk about it, because I feel like there really is a lack of understanding of what a disability means and I have kind of just had to, like, shut up. I've learned to just shut up Because, you know, unlike my grandma or like my family, they just don't say anything and you assume they're like fine, and they're really not right like, but they just kind of.

Klaudia Farkas:

They just kind of thug it out and they don't say anything right where I've always been very outspoken. I'm always gonna say how I feel, and so when I first had my car accident, I didn't know that I had bulging discs in my neck. I had no idea what was going on. I had someone who sideswiped me, was flying off the freeway as I was getting on the freeway and I didn't start having pain, to like, a week after my car accident.

Klaudia Farkas:

So I didn't even know what was going on with me. And so when I kept telling people, oh my god, I'm in pain, oh my god, I'm in pain, they were just kind of like you're just like complaining, or you're just such a prima donna, and I was just like you don't understand, like I'm dramatic. Yeah, they were like you're, you're just doing too much, claudia right, and I was kind of like dude, I'm like dying, like I don't know if I I don't think you understand, like I don't think I can survive, like I. And it just kept getting worse, right, and so I got so much judgment. I mean, honestly, like the lat I'm, I'm like all over the place right now because it's such a like huge, huge topic, but it's hard to talk about.

Klaudia Farkas:

I mean, I just want to like give you my whole life story. I can't cram enough into one right now for you this topic, like seriously, like I'm.

Klaudia Farkas:

It is just so hard because people will look at me and when I tell them that I am disabled and I'm, I'm still disabled, okay, and when I I'm maybe not 100% disabled anymore, but I am definitely still disabled, I mean I just re-injured myself because of class pass overloading me, because they set up my whatever wrong, right, so I just re-injured. But people look at me and then they'll go you look fine, you know. Or because I'm, I'm, I'm a pretty girl, right. They're just like oh, what's wrong with you? Like you know, like you're okay, right.

Klaudia Farkas:

So because I'm a beautiful woman, it's almost like worse and I feel like I have to downplay myself, because if I don't do that, if I don't downplay myself to people, I get less respect. Like it's almost like if I'm dying and I'm just like broke and I'm like going through it or whatever. They're like oh, claudia, yeah, right. But the more I'm like I'm good, I'm, you know, I'm doing it, they're like, oh right. But the more I'm like I'm good, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm doing it, they're like, oh right, and I can't be disabled, then because I'm doing it, because I'm running a business, because I'm good with my man, because my life is good, because my kids are good.

Klaudia Farkas:

That's not okay, I can't possibly still be disabled Right And's. It's a very hard topic. Um, I still deal with it. I mean I dealt with it in my last job. I from my old boss heard that you know she has pain too. Like you know that the last spa that I worked at, when I got hired there, you know I was very honest with my situation and I was constantly getting judged for it. I was constantly getting you know just a lot for it. You know, just like if I would say something it just couldn't be.

Klaudia Farkas:

Just like if I would say something it just couldn't be.

Klaudia Farkas:

And it couldn't be because I'm Roma. If I'm a liar, right, because I'm using my disability to maybe like bullshit her or something, right. And so it was this huge thing where I just felt so unseen, so disrespected, um, at my last job that it was a horrible experience, honestly. I got Roma shamed, you know. I got accused of stealing towels, like I, like it was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. So, yeah, honestly, that's. It's been really difficult to not be walking around with a cane and apparently even if you are walking around with a cane.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

No, they'll find reasons to say something wild.

Klaudia Farkas:

Yeah, like it's like. I mean. I always say like, do I have to be like? Do I have to have like a sign on me? Do I have to be in a wheelchair? Do I have to be like, throwing myself on the ground for you to like give me that respect or empathy, right?

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Yeah. And the thing is, with these mobility devices, you would think that that would be something that would signal to people like, oh, let me be mindful and respectful, sure, but it's a lot. It's like inviting a lot of ableism. Like bullshit, like just rude comments, invasive questions like oh, you're so inspiring, kind of like very, just, very bad things. And I'm not just speaking from my experience, but friends I have who have mobility aids have just been telling me these horror stories over the years. There's a wonderful poet who I'm friends with, liv Mamon, who writes a lot about disability but also other things like werewolves and fun things like that. So if anyone is interested in some disability rage and reflection, definitely check out Liv Mamon.

Paulina Stevens:

You always have the coolest friends I swear.

Klaudia Farkas:

Oh yeah, I'm down for that. I like all that, thank you um.

Paulina Stevens:

In your experience, how do you describe the interplay between emotional and physical pain and how would you suggest people address both?

Klaudia Farkas:

um, so I feel like that's a lot of the work I do in my um space right now. Um, that's a lot of what, like, my nervous system reset facial is about. It's um, it comes with like a 30 minute talk therapy session where you just like really give it to me and lay it all on me and there's no bullshit.

Klaudia Farkas:

And I just like, give you the real deal. Um, I feel like, um, emotional, um, and physical, it's, it's all connected, right. I feel like until I was able to accept my disability and not wake up every day and go I'm in pain, I'm in pain, I'm in pain. Why am I in pain? It took me five years, but when I accepted, oh, this is who I am, I am disabled, right, and I was able to emotionally process that, my body just kind of went along with it. And it wasn't until I made that emotional connection that I started to heal on a deeper level.

Klaudia Farkas:

So, regardless of the plants, regardless of eating organic, regardless of moving slower and not working, I wasn't healing to my hundred percent because I was still waking up, stressed out about my pain. I was still waking up, stressed out about my pain. And why? Because I went from being able to like move my whole house, move the couch, move the dresser, move everything, vacuum and put it back together, and I couldn't do that anymore. I couldn't even sit. That was really hard for me to process, because so much of your identity is that is who you are, right. And so that emotional was really difficult and I think what really, really really taught me about how important emotional is in comparison to physical is the third car accident, where I had a tire fly at me from the from the sky on the freeway and almost went through me, totaled my car and created this weird like PTSD reaction that I've never it's like so different than um, which is why it's really hard for me to talk honestly, like I never used to speak in the way I speak right now, like it's so hard for my mind to um find the words to process because of the PTSD, because of the emotional stress that the body thinks that I'm still carrying right.

Klaudia Farkas:

So I try to teach people that you know, regulating your nervous system, regulating your emotions, taking the time to like, taking the time to like, let go to process, to be open, to be authentic, is really going to help heal that physical. So I feel like people try to medicate and people try to, you know, go to the doctors and do all these things get acupuncture, use the herbal remedies, but it's not going to work if you're not working on the emotional part. Right, working on the acceptance, working on slowing down, loving yourself. For all of that you are right, instead of putting on this mask and trying to look like what you, what people think they need to look like, or whatever, right. So I think emotional has a huge part to the physical. Like if I'm emotional, honestly it's the worst. It's the worst. Like if I'm stressing, um, and that tire taught me. Like the second I'm stressing at this point which it's really hard, like even if I watch a scary movie or something emotional even talking right now about it.

Klaudia Farkas:

Like I'm I don't know if you can hear it, but like my throat's kind of closing up, like my throat will close up if I'm emotionally distressed. So it's so important for me to.

Paulina Stevens:

You don't have to. You don't have to keep talking about it. I don't want to know.

Klaudia Farkas:

It's cool, it's a part of the process, right, like it's a part of my healing, like it's a part like the process, right, like it's a part of my healing, like it's a part like I have to do it. I have to do it because when that person comes at me on the street and you know is like what's up with that cane, I have to be ready to be like I don't know what's up, right, like cause it just it's so. It's. It's like a gift, but it's also a curse because it has enhanced my like psychic abilities. Like I am, I can smell you a mile away. You know, like, because I'm so sensitive now I either I'm cool with you or I'm not cool with you, and that's okay.

Klaudia Farkas:

I don't have to fit in, I don't care, and I used to care so much. So I say to people if you could like master that and really just like, not give a fuck and like, but like actually do it. That's when things start to just like shut off your body, and that's been um, a lot of. What I've had to learn in the past, like 15 years, is to, you know, had insomnia for three years over things, and one day I just woke up and I was like you know what? I just don't fucking care. I swear I started to sleep three years, three years.

Klaudia Farkas:

So definitely emotional has everything to do with physical.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Yeah, I feel that too with my you know pain conditions. I notice if I'm, you know, triggered about something or you know someone conditions I notice if I'm, you know, triggered about something or you know someone yells at me or something, immediately I start having flare. Yeah, and I'm just like, oh, okay, and even after like a tough therapy session, I can't really like I can't do them right before work, like I have to do them at the end of the day because I need to like decompress, my body needs rest after it.

Klaudia Farkas:

It's, it's interesting totally like, even if you're like hanging out with a friend who maybe isn't, maybe is very hyper and isn't, and self uh, doesn't have the awareness to go.

Klaudia Farkas:

Oh, her face looks a little just you know, to kind of back it up and go are you okay, like you know people like I have to be very mindful of, like what energetics or what kind of people I hang around, because it's not I don't mean to be triggered, you know. But yeah, I can be sensitive and then sometimes I'm just very sensitive and sometimes, you know, I have to really just like pull it back and sit at home and take a minute to reset yeah, thank you.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

So, among other Roma, we talk a lot about intergenerational trauma as a community and how it coincides with poor health and shorter life expectancy, even in families that are no longer experiencing extreme poverty or political oppression, and there have been a few studies about this on the Romani communities, especially in Eastern Europe, but not enough Anecdotally. What have you noticed about pain within Romani?

Klaudia Farkas:

I feel like, sorry, my mind, just I'm kind of blanking on, like where I want to go with it, cause there's so many ways to go with it. But are you talking about like just physical pain, generational pain, like just pain in general, like just the things it feels?

Jezmina Von Thiele:

so conversational right now, so I'm just going to do that and you can go wherever you want with it. But pretty much everyone in my family on my Romani side has a pain condition, has autoimmune disorders, like everyone is like sick, sick, sick and it I feel like it coincides with like a lot of childhood trauma, my grandma's trauma coming from literally Nazi Germany, and like everyone on Germany is very unwell as well and die very young.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

And you know, and I, pain is just constant and and we weren't allowed to complain about it. And you know, and pain is just constant and we weren't allowed to complain about it, and you know, we didn't always seek care when we needed it, even if we had access to it, and so that's kind of my own experience with it. But what are your thoughts about, you know, romani relationship to pain and health? I kind of want to Okay.

Paulina Stevens:

It's weird that we never had this conversation before. We have not holy shit. So because we talked about everything like I know, like what, I guess there's more. Um, totally, my family was the same way, but like everybody dies super early. But I feel like for my family, I feel like it's a combination of all the past trauma, but also the life. The life that they live, guys, it's like everybody is related to each other, that gets married and has children. So there's like a ton. There's a huge amount of incest, like within my literal family. And then there's also like and I hate saying that, but like whatever we have to throw it out there, we're open. I talked about it before. Our fans have to know, like you know we're against that. Obviously I'm against that, but like that's the reality that we're dealing with. But then there's also like the food smoking, like everybody's constantly thank you, oh my god yes, yes, yeah.

Paulina Stevens:

Oil all day, all day. Like everything's cooked with lard. Like lard, I know, I know sure and no exercise, nobody's exercise thank you.

Klaudia Farkas:

Okay, yeah, like I I'm, I feel like you know, kind of like speaking in this way just helps me kind of like be a little freer, um, so I love that you guys are like also also jumping in here because it helps me kind of, like my get like, you know, fires up my brain.

Klaudia Farkas:

But, yes, um. So for me, you know, yeah, all those things, I think food, I think lifestyle, I think, you know, like my dad has 85 percent of his lungs and he's still smoking. Okay, like when I first had my son, my firstborn, I was 23 years old, and I remember bringing him home and he thought it was cool to like smoke a cigarette in his room and I'm sorry, dad, like don't don't mean to talk, but like where's who put it out there? You know, um, but yeah, like I, you know, he was like smoking cigarettes in the house and it was coming through the vent and I just was so like I was crushed, you know, I mean, I grew up smoking cigarettes. I remember my dad, I, I was like, how old was I? I think I was like 15, 16, 16 when I started smoking cigarettes, and I remember him being like are you smoking cigarettes? And I was kind of like no, I'm not, you know. And he's like well, you know, if you're going to smoke cigarettes, smoke it in front of me. You know. And he's like well, you know, if you're going to smoke cigarettes, smoke it in front of me and so I did, and it wasn't like, oh no, you can't do that. That's horrible. Like if I saw my kids smoking a cigarette, holy, you know, it would be such a big deal. Like I mean, I don't, I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. I did smoke cigarettes.

Klaudia Farkas:

Both my parents smoke cigarettes. My mom still smoke cigarettes. You know, I just spoke to her on the phone and you know she's back home. She misses me, she misses facial, she misses living with me, organic food, all that stuff, right, and you know it's just yeah. It's about like my grandma didn't have the money and she had no breast milk so she had to give my mom sugar water, right, like those kind of things. They didn't have breast milk so she had to give my mom sugar water, right, like those kind of things. They didn't have money so they had to eat bread and lard and tomatoes and, you know, peppers or whatever. That was like the meal.

Klaudia Farkas:

It was like bread and lard yeah, bread and lard, that's everything.

Paulina Stevens:

and smoking cigarettes in the house my and smoking cigarettes in the house.

Klaudia Farkas:

My mom still smokes cigarettes in the house Coffee, cigarettes and bread and lard, you know. And salona, which is like the it's the smoked bacon but just the fat. You know just like the smoked fat with like butter and you know sides of like cut up tomatoes and peppers or whatever, like it's the best part of it. But my dad still just eats salami and bread and kielbasa. You know, like you, he's not gonna. You know he like he won't eat chicken but he'll eat. He's like, oh, meat, but he'll eat like breaded pork chops, so like it has to be fried and crunchy. It's just, yeah, it's frustrating. It's like bread all day bread, bread, bread, bread, bread, cold, cold, cut meats, right, which I totally feel horrible saying because you know my parents cook such good like Hungarian food, but yes, that is kind of like the background is the cigarettes and just like the trauma and just the, just the trauma, just the family trauma. You know, just like, yeah, like not wanting to go to therapy, not, um, taking care of things, not dealing. You know like growing up my parents were totally like, oh, no, like we can't have her go to therapy. She's gonna tell the therapist everything and that's that's the point. You know, like just going through all all the family, trauma, and just how they grew up.

Klaudia Farkas:

And you know, my mom coming from a village sleeping on a dirt floor to having nothing, you know, to literally having nothing, um, to having um, to be poor, and then my grandma having her down syndrome brother, her, and then my other, her other brother, right, and they were poor. They were poor, you know, they couldn't buy all the good things and the food and the clothes and so, yeah, I mean I get it coming. The fact that we came here and my mom was a nurse assistant for 20 years here is a big deal and I forget, like, where she comes from, because she is such a sweet woman we are and we are so resilient and like such amazing people, so we forget. But, yeah, like, as I started to break like the cycles right, I was the one to break the cycles, I was always the one. I was the bougie one, right, I'm considered bougie because I like, I'm healthy you know, that's the backlash that I get Right, I was like, oh, like too good, too good Cause I like grass fed butter, like.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

I? I remember when I came home from college, um, I had never had olives that were not from a can before, but I guess I tried them at some sort of like party, you know when, um, maybe there was like a museum party or something at my college where we had a new exhibit and there was like a little bit of like wine and cheese. I was like what are these olives? So big day. So I came back home and I went to the grocery store and I got some of the fancy olives from the olive bar that I'd never noticed before and I presented them to my mother like you have to try these. And she's like who the hell do you think you are? She was so mad. She was like you think you're better than me with your grocery store olives.

Klaudia Farkas:

I was like oh no my god, I had the same, okay. So I, when I had my son, I, you know, got food stamps, right, and I I never been to Whole Foods. Okay, this was like years ago, 17 years ago, and so I have never been to Whole Foods. And I just remember like randomly going in there and kind of being like wow, like what's all this, like good stuff, right, and because there was a Safeway down the street from our house, so we just went to Safeway, costco or Foodstuff, whatever, and I just remember like buying a nice chicken, you know, and coming home and being like wow like really proud.

Klaudia Farkas:

Like, look, mom, look at the chicken, it's so beautiful. And she was fucking pissed. She was like she was so mad at this switch up that when I was like I don't think you should shop there, I don't think you should buy the foster farms, like six dollar chicken, you know and she's like, oh well, you, you ate this your whole life and you're fine, you know, kind of like judging me for like wanting better. So I just kind of had to like let it go, which was hard because I was living with her. I had my son and I just remember the, the switch, you know, like her buying this Safeway chicken and it was black and I just was like sitting back and she's like I don't know about this chicken. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, and so she, it took me like two years to slowly kind of like move her away, even with like the medicine, you know, even with what.

Klaudia Farkas:

Even when I got injured she was like, oh, you're just complaining, I'll be quiet, all this, all that you know. Like then she hurt her neck and so all the things that I had gone through she went through, and I just remember trying to put this cream on her and she's like oh, oh, my god, the smell. You know, she was just so judgmental. She's like oh, you're a drug addict. Oh, you're drug addicts, you know. And so now fast forward. You know, when I make a batch and it smells very strong, she's like oh, that's a good one. Like, yes, oh, yes, it is, but it's just, it's just funny, you know.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

It's funny to try to like change our parents views and ways, I understand the defensiveness because it's like you know, maybe for my mom she was like, okay, so I have failed as a parent. Clearly, yes, you have new olives and and you now I'll never see you again, you're off to the world of fancy olives in college, and so I was like I get you know in retrospect, looking back, I'm like it was about so much more than the olives, but it was like so funny though in that moment. But yeah, it's like ideally we, we just want them to be well. And it can be so hard sometimes when our family resists. And I glad that your mom got on the um, on the medicine train, with you. She felt very judged.

Klaudia Farkas:

Yeah, she felt very judged and she really didn't understand. She was just like you're, who are you? That's literally that's what she said. She was like who do you think you are?

Klaudia Farkas:

and I was like I don't know healthy like I was just like I don't know nobody, I guess it feels so scary to like I don't know to, to lose commonality, I guess yeah, yeah, and it's just like the way we, the way they grew up, you know it's it's hard to feel they're in such like this, um, secret society. You know, like she, she probably felt like, oh, like now you're moving into like different things, like what's going on, right, the the change was definitely hard for her and she's like in such an old world mindset that it just took her so long. Like that, I mean, I try to show my grandma and she's kind of like, you know, like last time I went back home she was, oh, bring that oil that you, you know the tea tray. She's like, oh, make sure to bring that oil for my scalp, you know.

Paulina Stevens:

But she's always like, oh, no, no, no, no, don't like, she's very old, she's very old school do you have advice for roma and people in general in ways to prioritize wellness in some like real simple kind of accessible things they could do or or things they could try?

Klaudia Farkas:

that's a hard one. Um, that's a hard one. I mean, I feel like food is everything, you know. I feel like food is everything, you know. I feel like food is everything, and I feel like farmers are everything. And if, if you are Roma and Roma, non Roma, whatever, like I just feel like it's very important to know that, like you do have access and hopping on the computer or asking somebody and really just googling your nearest farmer's market, I feel like, especially in these times where our food is so poisoned you know, I don't even go to Whole Foods anymore. Luckily, I'm blessed with like Rainbow Grocery, which is like a cooperative here. But you know, if there are any Roma in San Francisco, I highly recommend rainbow grocery because you're spending the same amount of money. Um, wherever you go at this point and so that was always the argument with my mom she's like oh, that's like expensive and that was her thing it's like we can't afford that, right, and so like, well, it was always a comparison of like, okay, you went to Safeway and you have boxed food and I went here and I have like fruits and vegetables and meat and all this stuff, and so I feel like food's important, getting it local.

Klaudia Farkas:

I say you can reach out to me. I'm always willing to give you know sliding scale. I give medicine all for free. So if anybody ever wants to reach out to me, definitely I can't, off the top of my head, give resources, but like I I'm down to be that access and the form of communication for how to be in the system, how to get what you need. Being Roma in this, you know, in the United States I don't know about other places but like, definitely if you're Roma in the United States, like there's so many resources that maybe they don't feel they can access or know about and I'm definitely down to be that resource for them. Even do a zoom or show them or whatever how to make basic medicine. How about do at home stuff, because I'm always treating my kids for their wounds and their infections and all that stuff. So there's so much you know you can do. People can DM me infections and all that stuff.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

So there's so much you know you can do. People can dm me, so we're going to shift gears a little bit. We're wrapping up. Who are your romani crushes at the moment? Basically, who do you admire? Who do you want to give a shout out to my crushes?

Klaudia Farkas:

Well, honestly, to keep it really real, when I first got on Instagram, my first, first, first crush was probably Megan Megan of Lululemon. Yeah.

Klaudia Farkas:

Megan, megan has always. She's just real. She's just real. I love Megan, like it was just no, she's just sweet, she's just real. I love her products. You definitely, you like, like, you are always my you and Paulina, like you guys are, you know, you, you just reached out to me and I didn't ask for anything out of everybody. Like this whole time I have been romani roots, like you and megan have been the two people that have, without me asking, just posted me up, reposted me, supported me, pushed me, and that just I felt like damn okay, okay, like I'm doing what I need to be doing and I'm supported, right, you know. And then, uh, my girl, sastimos, you know I always call her for like herbal remedies and stuff. Like she just gave me my tincture and had I not had her tincture, you know, with my throat hurting.

Klaudia Farkas:

I don't know. That was rough. So I just, you know, grabbed her tincture and seconds later I was fine.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

So definitely like Sos de Mos, and you guys and Megan are my girls yes, I mean I I've been a fan of your work and so it makes me really happy that it meant a lot that I was sharing Cause I was just like, oh my God, so excited. Yes, I have to post this.

Klaudia Farkas:

I mean you're just yeah, you were always my. I mean I didn't even know. You like found me and I was just like Whoa, I was like showing my man, I like look at her, she's so pretty. And then I found Paulina and I was like, oh, my god, like look, I was like right. I don't care, you know like you could be a supermodel and I'm just like yeah, whatever, but like. But with you guys I'm always just like oh my god, they're so cute oh look how cool, we think the same about you we really do.

Paulina Stevens:

We're fangirls well thank you how can people find you and support your work?

Klaudia Farkas:

um, so people can find me at on my instagram, which is the romani roots. People can also go to my website, which is the Romani roots. People can also go to my website, which is Romani roots skincare and herbal remedies, and there you will find my phone number. You'll find my email. Yeah, if anybody needs anything in the Roma community, I am down like. Whatever questions, resources help, um, I'm there for it and others and others, everyone, I'm for all well, thank you so much.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

This was such a pleasure talking with you and we really appreciate you, um, yeah, talking to us about challenging things that are not easy to talk about, and your perspective is so important. You've, you know, been through so much, you've healed so much and, yeah, we, just we so appreciate your wisdom thank you, it's been fun.

Klaudia Farkas:

Um, yeah, it's been good. I'm happy to be on here fun times talking about trauma, yeah. I mean I swear we need to like just create a platform for that. Like seriously, it's so it's. It's super important to be able to talk about it, because if you can't talk about it, you're never gonna get over it. Yeah, it's true. So yeah thank you guys for like shouting me out and supporting Thank you for everything you do.

Paulina Stevens:

That's it Very cool, I'll see you guys.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Thank you for listening to Romanistan Podcast you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Romanistan Podcast and on Twitter at RomanistanPod, To support us, join our Patreon for extra content or just donate to our Ko-fi fundraiser, ko-ficom backslash Romanistan, and please rate, review and subscribe. It helps people find our show. It helps us so much.

Paulina Stevens:

You can follow Jez on Instagram at jasminavantila and Paulina at Romani Holistic. You can get our book Secrets of Romani Fortune Telling online or wherever books are sold. Visit romanistanpodcastcom for events, educational resources and more. Email us at romanistanpodcast at gmailcom for inquiries.

Jezmina Von Thiele:

Romanistan is hosted by Jasmina Vontila and Paulina Stevens, conceived of by Paulina Stevens, edited by Victor Pachas, with music by Victor. Pachas and artwork by Elijah Barado.