Mind of Snaps Podcast

Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 23 - "New Year, New Me… aning?"

December 31, 2020 She Snaps Season 420 Episode 23
Mind of Snaps Podcast
Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 23 - "New Year, New Me… aning?"
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to "New Year, New Me… aning?" - the 23rd Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Thursday for Patreon supporters!

It is my goal to create as much positive & encouraging content as I can during these intense, uncertain times we're faced with. 2020 has been so much more than anyone expected it to be, and nobody should have to take it on alone. The only way I can continue to do so, is with your help. Become a patron, subscribe to me on Twitch, you can send a tip which I'll turn into an investment... or you can simply share my content on social media. Every little bit helps me be able to continue to create the podcasts and other mindfulness & positivity based content in the future.

The format of these podcasts are forever evolving to reflect current events from personal to global, so I hope you are enjoying them. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions!

Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

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Make sure to Patreon to support & for new episodes every Thursday!

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Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

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Unknown Speaker :

Hello and Happy

Unknown Speaker :

New Year, my friends. Oh my goodness, I cannot believe we're in 2020 What do hack who allowed this? I'm so excited, though honestly to be in this new year, and to be able to start doing more real. As many of you probably know, the holidays got really hectic in my house. My house went up for sale, my mother went into the hospital and all sorts of other unexpected situations arose. So I'm grateful to those of you who hung around despite the lack of Patreon activity, especially because during my time away, I was thinking a great deal about all the things I want to offer you in this new year, especially now that the holidays are over and things can settle down. So keep an eye on the Patreon more goodies will be coming soon. Anyway, let's get into this positivity podcast. This week. I want to talk about meaning throughout the weeks leading up To New Year's Day, one of the questions I got most frequently was, do you have any new year's resolutions this year? If you know me well, at this point, you probably know that my answer was no. Basically, I have my own set of values for my life and I do my best to live up to those values on a daily basis. I personally believe all we truly have is this moment. So creating resolutions and having my mind be strictly forward focused did not really appeal to me.

Unknown Speaker :

It got me thinking though,

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the new year is really just a concept. We created our calendar system, we created our way of tracking the passage of time. And over the years, we have started to apply meaning to things based on our own ideas and belief systems. I don't know at what point the New Year became this blank slate kind of deal. But at some point, the idea of creating resolutions and looking forward to the new beginning that comes with each new year became a tradition. Rather than discuss resolutions and how to achieve or live up to them, I think it's better to discuss the root of why people make them in the first place. We are interesting creatures. We look around this world we came from, and pick and choose what means something to us and what doesn't. We pick and choose which things and people will be deemed beautiful. We pick and choose which jobs are respectable and which ones are and we pick and choose what constitutes a good day versus a bad day and so on and so forth. Are you getting where I'm going with this? We are meaning machines. We look at this world around us and apply meaning to everything we see. In reality, everything just is our consciousness is a blessing and a curse sometimes, mostly because many of us don't seem to recognize how much control we have over how our consciousness minds operate. The majority of us weren't brought up in mindful households, at least to my knowledge, you know, with people teaching us to look inward before focusing too much on the external world. We aren't really taught from a young age that what we believe in will impact what we see and how we'll feel about it. Instead, our belief systems are deeply ingrained in us without much thought.

Unknown Speaker :

The things we notice from those around us gradually begin to teach us who we are and what the world is, before you even had a chance to decide who you were. You were subtly or aggressively in some instances, told who and what you were. I'm sure many of us have gotten a mix of positive and negative statements throughout our young lives that gradually connected to each other and eventually became our perception of who we were our sense of self. You're such a smart girl You're such an athletic boy, you're lazy, you're messy, you're a burden. You're a tomboy, you're weak. Since we weren't taught mindful behaviors that gave us the opportunity to question the validity of such statements. They just get added to our sense of self instead, after being told who you are Next, you may have been subtly conditioned to believe a certain lifestyle or career path was where your focus should be. Whether it's told you directly, or you've simply overheard it. I'm sure you've been around folks who were passing judgment on others in your presence. Oh, did you hear that Jenny quit her job at the law firm and decided to pursue art instead. I'm sure that'll go. Well. I can't believe he's dating a stripper. His parents must be so disappointed. Wow, her new boyfriend certainly is impressive. He's the CEO of a large company. Each year that passes is another Year of meaning being derived from your surroundings, from your family, from the societal views that you see most. I know up until relatively recently, my own belief systems were constructed almost entirely based on things I grew up hearing, or witnessing from those closest to me. And from the meaning I attach to the things I'd see out in the world. It never occurred to me that I could look at things and choose to view them differently, literally choose. Over the past couple of years, I've been dedicating the majority of my time to looking inward and questioning everything. It has been an eye opening experience. I've learned just how much meaning I have applied to things around me that changed my behaviors and my moods drastically. I allowed the way other people view me to be something that was important to me. I allowed other people's opinions. To have meaning in my life. There's a quote I really like that feels appropriate here. I'm not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am.

Unknown Speaker :

Growing up, my family was chaotic at times, learning that I was abandoned and then adopted at a really young age really messed with my sense of self worth. My father who was in truth, a wonderful man at his core, was an angry, abusive alcoholic when I was younger. Some days he could be very kind and loving, but most days, unfortunately, he came home in a terrible mood, began drinking and then complaining or just straight up avoid us. He hated his job. And he resented us, my brother, sister and I, because if he and my mother hadn't adopted us, they would have been retired instead of raising three young kids. at the dinner table, it was a regular occurrence or my mother and father to be arguing over something trivial, and then she'd get mad that he was drunk and belligerent. And his excuse nearly every time was, well, if these damn kids, or if it wasn't for these kids, I wouldn't need to drink. We would all just sit there quietly and wait for it to blow over and then eventually we'd all be sitting living room together, watching TV shows and acting like it never happened. My mother is a wonderful woman as well. But she, like many of us can be very judgmental at times. There were a ton of interest I had that I was regularly criticized for, because she felt that they'd make me a tomboy, and then I would be unappealing to boys. She didn't like the idea of me taking auto class in high school. She didn't like that. I was interested in motorcycles. She didn't want me to pursue certain jobs for fear that I would never find a man. When I got some of my past corporate jobs that paid well, I remember my mom telling me not to mess it up because something like that could really help me stay financially stable for life. And provide me with good benefits. My mother worried and still honestly worries a lot about my financial future. As you can imagine, years of exposure to these types of statements and belief systems led me to some interesting conclusions about who I was as a person, and what was important in my life. The meaning I extracted from all of the statements I heard was a burden on my family, they'd be better off without me. This contributed to my suicide attempt when I was 15. I'm a tomboy, which means I'm unattractive. It's important that I find a man and a good job and settle down. So based on this idea of who I was, and what I should value, I move forward in my life with those things in focus. I believed I was unattractive. And I'd be lucky if any boys liked me. So when they did, I put up with all kinds of horrific behavior that I never learned wasn't okay. I felt like I should just be grateful that a boy liked me. So it didn't matter if they yelled at me or if they hit me sometimes. I mean, that's just what happens, right? I ignored my passions for the sake of good paying jobs so I could buy the things I thought I was supposed to have in order to be respected and valued. And you know what? I was miserable for almost my entire life. Two years ago, I began meditating, and I started on my mindfulness journey. Over these two years, I began questioning some of the beliefs I have and the meaning of things around me. What I've learned is almost none of my beliefs or values came from me. None of them were conscious, deliberate choices. They were my interpretations of my life up until that point, and suddenly I became aware that I could choose to change my interpretations. All I have is this moment. So why would I want to sacrifice my joy in this moment, for the sake of someone else's beliefs I started learning to have compassion and love for myself, which led me to have compassion and love for everyone and everything. Now that's something that feels right to me feels right. That belief system is now what means the most to me, as a result of my changed belief system and the things I decided would mean something in my life. I'm now in a career I'm passionate about. I have a loving relationship with a man who would never yell at me. And I feel joyful almost constantly. Sure I have my bad days too. Don't get me wrong, but even in those bad days, I don't allow them to mean anything other than this day was difficult, and I'm likely learned something from overcoming whatever obstacles were in my way.

Unknown Speaker :

In this new year, my challenge to you is to start questioning the meaning of things around you. If you're going to let a date change impact the effort you put into your life. You could do that at any time with anything. are you hanging on to things that you believe have meaning to you? How many of those things could you choose to let go of for the sake of your own joy? Are you placing meaning on the job you have the relationships you have or the things you own? Is the meaning one that you consciously applied? Or is it a result of this sense of self you have that may be incredibly inaccurate. We have so much control over who we are as people and where our lives go. We can choose to become extroverted people instead of introverted ones. We could choose to be people who value deep conversations over superficial relationships. We can choose to be people who find every moment of life meaningful, because there's always a lesson to be learned and there's beauty all around us. Life has the meaning that you apply to it. If you haven't deliberately chosen yet, it's time to do some deep dives into where your current belief systems came from. One of the things I know I'm currently working on and I'm excited to put into practice more as we begin packing to move across the country is non attachment. I grew up believing that things could have deep meaning. And if you didn't hang on to those things, the meaning is lost. I became overly attached to items I deemed sentimental. And the more I consider the meaning I apply to these things, the less I want them around. We project meaning onto so many things. We projected onto items, relationships, situations, conversations. Oh no, he glanced to the side while we were talking. That means he's trying to get away from me because he hates me. My relationship is ending that means I'll be alone forever. This thing that belonged to so When I lost has been damaged, that means I've lost another part of them. If you're feeling rough today, or if you're just working on being a better you, I think a great place to start checking yourself is in the meaning you apply to everything you encounter. What would you like to mean something to you? What really truly matters is what you want to matter. check in with yourself, check your belief systems. Ask yourself if you're applying meaning to things that simply aren't that meaningful. And if you're going to allow this new year to mean something, let it mean that it's the year

Unknown Speaker :

that you take back control of your own

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life.

Unknown Speaker :

You got this. Happy New Year friends. I look forward to growing more with you in 2020. I fucking love ya.

Unknown Speaker :

Have a great day.

Unknown Speaker :

Bye