Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 31 - "Is This Useful?"

Welcome to "Is This Useful?" - the 31st Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Thursday for Patreon supporters!

It is my goal to create as much positive & encouraging content as I can during these intense, uncertain times we're faced with. 2020 has been so much more than anyone expected it to be, and nobody should have to take it on alone. The only way I can continue to do so, is with your help. Become a patron, subscribe to me on Twitch, you can send a tip which I'll turn into an investment... or you can simply share my content on social media. Every little bit helps me be able to continue to create the podcasts and other mindfulness & positivity based content in the future.

The format of these podcasts are forever evolving to reflect current events from personal to global, so I hope you are enjoying them. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions!

Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

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Make sure to become a patron on Patreon to support future content!

You can find new Positivity Podcasts on Patreon every Monday, and as of September 2020 - every Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, & Stitcher!

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Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

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Transcript

Unknown Speaker : 0:00

Hello, friends, Happy Monday. I am excited for this first lovely Monday of a new month. And I hope you are too. Now is the time to create those new healthy habits and do your best to stick with them. I remember hearing once that a habit that started on a Monday is more likely to make it through the week. So get something new started today. Start practicing that language, start cleaning daily start doing that yoga, whatever it is that you've been putting off, do it now. terrible thing, my accent whatever that was, but you know, just Just do it. As usual, I must I simply must begin by thanking you all for your support, not just through the Patreon but the emotional and compassionate support that y'all show to me and to others in this community every single day really means so much Thursday of last week was really hard on me. It was really starting to kick in for me that Alex was going to be leaving on Saturday. And that I wasn't going to see him for a while. And Holy shit. It hit me pretty hard. I am and will forever be grateful to those of you who reached out privately offer some kind words of encouragement. And to those of you who were in stream that day, I am so super grateful to you all for sticking around and chatting with me. While I was so incredibly emotional. I'm really grateful to be in a position where I can go to work even on my hard days and not have to suck it up and put on a smile for the crowd or whatever. It means so much genuinely. Also, no forgetty I set up the time for us to have a group video chats, check in with each other and discuss our progress and our goals as far as our mental health and mindfulness practices go and I'm actually going to be creating A $5 tier that gives people access to that and all the other little goodies on here. So don't forget that video chat is scheduled for the 21st at 1pm Central time, I'll probably put up a sign up sheet, put out a sign up sheet, so that we can make sure that we have enough people signed up in advance to warrant actually doing it on that day. Otherwise, we'll just have to postpone and do it whenever y'all are ready. Anyway,

Unknown Speaker : 2:27

moving right along. Let's talk about what I wanted to discuss this week. For the positivity podcast. There's a phrase I want you all to keep in mind this week, and use this to check on your own thoughts and your actions. Check those things against this whenever possible. This particular question has helped me a ton in the past and it helped me immensely in this past week or so as well. So the question is, is is this useful, simple concise, to the point. Sometimes that's how we got to be, there will always be a time and a place to dive into our thoughts and feelings with intentions of finding their origins. But sometimes in the moment, you just got to find something that helps you stop the ruminating patterns we tend to find ourselves in and instead keep moving forward towards our goals. For those of you who are newer here and aren't aware of my current situation, let me provide a little bit of context as to how this question has helped me recently. So my boyfriend Alex and I have been together for nearly four years. The first half of our relationship was done long distance with him living in Phoenix me living in Chicago. We moved in together two January's ago, and it was incredible. I mean, mostly, you know, we all have problems right. After living together for over two years, we became so comfortable around each other and it really helped us to reinforce our beliefs that we really are right for each other. And we definitely want to live long lives together. The only issue was, I started recognizing that the suburbs of Chicago were not the place for Alex, and really not for me either. The area I'm living in, it kind of happened by default. I never really stopped to consider that I might be happier elsewhere, and really think that was an option for me. I didn't think about the idea that I might find a place that fits more in line with my belief systems and my goals for the future. Then Alex and I started living together and talking about our plans for our lives. And it really became clear that as much as we both love this house, it is not the place for us anymore. So we decided to move to Phoenix and give that a try instead. The planning phase of this has been mostly enjoyable, stressful for sure. But it's been fun to imagine our lifestyles once we're out there. Then this last week hit, and Whoa, boy, that shit knocked me on my ass. I found myself in the middle of a whirlwind of emotions on Thursday, as it began to click that Alex and I weren't going to see each other for a while, then realized that I was going to be leaving my childhood home and my family soon I've never lived more than 40 minutes away from my family, then realized that this week is the 12 year anniversary of my older sister's death, which also reminded me that it's been over a year since my dad died, because unfortunately, 12 years ago, my sister had to be buried on his birthday. So there I was, finding myself being hit with this barrage of thoughts about all these things at once. I was having sad thoughts about Alex being gone. I was having grief filled thoughts as I remembered and missed my sister and my father. I was having the static thoughts as I thought of the past. we once had together in this house that I'm going to be leaving soon. And I was also remembering how my sister had planned to move to Vegas before she passed away. Suddenly, my brain went into overdrive and started trying to tell me that on Saturday, when Alex left, it wasn't just that I wasn't going to be seeing him for a while. But when he left, it would be the last time I ever saw him. My mind was trying to convince me that all of these examples of loss and sadness, were proof that I had become too comfortable with the idea of living out a long and happy life with my man, when in reality, it was foolish to believe that could happen for me.

Unknown Speaker : 6:45

I'm so grateful to have a pretty strong mindfulness and meditation practice these days. So I could see each of the thoughts as just what they were, you know, just thoughts. I could work to let go of them. Each of them one by one. They arose. However, it happened to be such a perfect storm of thoughts and emotions that it was really really fucking hard. I felt so mentally and physically fatigued by the end of the day from crying so much from worrying so much. And from having to confront, dissect and release each one of those thoughts from my mind. I was able to, on that day refocus myself mostly through visualizing positive outcomes, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the bullshit My mind was throwing at me. In the moment, I was able to recognize that I kind of just had to make it through that day, to the best of my ability. You know, let myself feel my damn feelings, and know that the next day would likely be a little easier. sure as shit. It was. The next day I still had all kinds of thoughts arising and visions of sad things, trying to pull my focus But this time, I asked myself as each thought arose, is this useful? Let me tell you, my friends. That is a question that has some serious fucking power. Is this useful? Is this helping or harming me? Is this benefiting me and powering me or slowing me down? That's really what that question is asking. anxious thoughts are just fucking guesses, man. They're just guesses. In terms of predictions, anxious thoughts tend to be just really obnoxious guesses more than anything. So if I'm going to be sitting around all day guessing about my future, why not deliberately allow myself to fantasize about more positive options? Guess kinder, more positively. So this week, I wanted to remind you that you have a choice. You can choose to think different thoughts. It may be easy, it may require some groundwork before those thoughts that you've created start deliberately popping up on their own. But at the end of the day, you do have a choice. What you allow yourself to say, Think and Do will have a massive impact on your life, on a daily basis and on where your life goes. Take the time to check in with yourself as often as you can. Seriously, as often as you fucking can. There is no such thing as too much awareness in this sense. The more you pay attention to the more room you have to correct your course, before you travel too far along it. You want to see changes happen faster in your mental or physical health. You want to see some progress happen towards your goals. become more aware. Set a timer to check in with yourself every five minutes every 15 minutes, every hour. Whatever feels right. When you check in at those times, ask yourself about your thoughts, words and actions. Is this useful? If it's not, if you find yourself having to justify something, let that shit go. Take a few deep breaths slowly, deliberately. And then choose to do think or say something that is useful is kind or is compassionate. Yesterday was my first full day in years, where I was home alone with no expectation of having any company here. Throughout the day, I got so much done, and I felt good while doing it. Every time I'd finish a task, I'd think about what I wanted to do next, and then I would check that possible action against the question is this useful? For me, I'm working on As off to ensure I can move quickly to Arizona to be with my man again. So that any so any actions that I take that aren't helping me move, grow my business or maintain balance with my mental and physical health, those actions are being dropped. I found my mind trying to play the poor me cards several times. And each time I noticed it, I'd ask myself, is this useful and then redirect, I would deliberately think about affirmations I like or say something out loud to empower or uplift myself. I visualized my future in Arizona with my man and fucking sunlight, and all the things we plan to do together and to help the communities we love once we're able to get back to a normal schedule. I'm so excited for the future. And giving myself the opportunity to revel in that felt great. When I found my mind trying to convince me it was okay to just sit around and snack Watch TV all day, you know, cuz why not right? Everyone deserves a break. I would check those thoughts and think, is this useful though? Do I really need that break? Or is my brain just trying to keep itself comfortable because what I was trying to do is hard work. Turns out, I was actually feeling good. So I didn't really need to take time to sit and relax. I was already fucking relaxed while I was working on my tests. So instead, I put on an audiobook I've been enjoying, and I did the dishes and then just continued on with my other tasks. By the time it was 830 yesterday PM, I was pooped. I was ready for bed. I was excited to sleep. And I was excited to sleep because I wanted to wake up early today and continue kicking ass. When I woke up this morning, my mind tried to tell me just sleep in enjoy a peaceful morning with your puppies, maybe watch a movie if you want to do whatever the fuck you want. No one's here to see you do it right I asked myself, it was useful I realized it wasn't. And instead started back on my healthy habits of meditating cleaning, reading, stretching, I made coffee and I journaled, I created my lists of things to work on. And now here I am recording a positivity podcast for all of you today, and throughout the rest of this week, and really throughout your fucking life. Build that habit for yourself. That habit of checking in and saying, is this useful? I think you will be amazed at how much it can help. Now as an added note, I do think it's important to make it clear that without clarity in your goals for your future, this may not be as easy of a question to answer. If you aren't sure where you want your future to go. Start there first. Once you have clarity, this question can be a game changer. If you don't know where to start with finding out what you want to go do. Go Listen to my podcast on the mind of snaps podcast not here on the Patreon. Just search mind of snaps wherever you get your podcasts from, it should be everywhere. And this the title of the podcast I'm referring to is called How to Start. How to Start minor snaps podcast. It's under 20 minutes and it will give you an idea of how I structured my own goals for my life. Anyway, it's March now, so let's march towards some useful and beneficial hobbies, habits, thoughts, all of it. We all deserve to feel good. And we are the ones who have the most control over that. Go kick some ass today and manifest dope shit.