Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 43 - "Don’t Rush To Fill The Silence"

Welcome to "Don’t Rush To Fill The Silence" - the 43rd Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Monday for Patreon supporters!

It is my goal to create as much positive & encouraging content as I can during these intense, uncertain times we're faced with. 2020 was so much more than anyone expected it to be, and nobody should have to take it on alone. The only way I can continue to do so, is with your help.

To help, you can: become a patron, subscribe to me on Twitch, you can send a tip which I'll turn into an investment... or you can simply share my content on social media. Every little bit helps me be able to continue to create the podcasts and other mindfulness & positivity based content in the future.

The format of these podcasts are forever evolving to reflect current events from personal to global, so I hope you are enjoying them. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions!

Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

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Make sure to become a patron on Patreon to support future content!

You can find new Positivity Podcasts on Patreon every Monday; Patreon archive positivity podcast episodes are available free for the community every Thursday at 4pm on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, & Stitcher!

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Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

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Transcript

Unknown Speaker : 0:00

Good morning, my friends, Happy Monday, or Yano, whatever day it is currently for you. I have some exciting news to share. The mind of snaps podcast is officially coming back from it's very long hiatus. I will be Starting things off again with some interviews, which I really liked doing. And we're calling these the interviews of the conversations with creators varieties. So if you've followed my podcasts before, you probably have seen a couple of them that kind of followed that. That form where it's just having cool conversations with with chill creators. So I can't wait to show you some of the wonderful, wonderful, see how excited I get to think about them. Some of the wonderful folks that we will be having conversations with about their lives, their creative process so much more People are fascinating. We're going to learn some cool shit. All right. I really look forward to doing these podcasts, the ones on mine of snap snaps and this one as well, like I really do look forward to them. And I hope that you enjoy them. And I hope that you find them to be valuable. So feedback, always welcome please No, forget that spaghetti. Another thing that I wanted to start things off with is the Thank you, as usual, for supporting this Patreon. And all of the efforts of this community. There's so much that we're doing together and I just, I love it. I love being in this with you. So thank you again. And if you think someone else could benefit from these little mindfulness boosts, please send them our way. They don't even have to watch Twitch or understand that gaming space. I think for this, the messages in these to hopefully kind of resonate with them. You know, our bi weekly video chats have also been quite wonderful. So thanks to Everyone who's been showing up to those, it is so beautiful to see the way that y'all can be so vulnerable together. And I really like I gotta be honest, I really look forward to those calls. Like there are certain things that I have to do during my day for my career, whatever where I'm like, I want to do this right now. I don't know and I you know, postponed stuff, but

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those calls.

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I get excited. I get very excited for them. They're beautiful. And I like seeing all your smiling faces. I spent so much time talking to names. It's cool to talk to, you know, human faces. Some pretty sure y'all are human.

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Mm hmm.

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Okay, you might be aliens, but that's cool. Either way. I enjoy him. What else is new? What else? Oh, our last shark showcase night was in stream on Saturday night. And it was so fucking inspiring. I'm gonna make a highlight of it. Make sure you watch it especially the last like 20 minutes to half an hour. You know what no, watch the whole thing. Really, really enjoyed it. I look forward to our next community night which is going to be the open mic night. And that is scheduled for this upcoming Saturday. I did decide to change the time though. So it's going to be happening. It's six Eastern, five central instead. Nice and early. That's three o'clock my time. So if you want to participate in that one, just plan to show up with some creative writing some poetry, songs, short stories, whatever it is that you've got, and you'd like to share that involves words or mouth noises. Um, all of that is totally open. We're gonna go by first come first serve, like whoever shows up first and gets into the green room first. Those will be the first ones pulled in and you just get to take over my stream for five minutes. I shut the fuck up and let you do your thing. Make sure you you know, abide by TLS don't get me banned people. But I super look forward to seeing some of the dope creative shit that you Share during open mic. The art showcase night was super dope. All of our previous open mic nights have been super dope. It's gonna be super dope, super, super, super, super dope. I just had my coffee. Okay, moving right along into the real reason that you are listening to my voice at the moment. Let's get into what I wanted to talk to y'all about this week. This week, I wanted to take some time to remind you all to stop rushing to fill the silence. Some of you may have realized by now that a lot of these positivity podcasts get written based off of my own experiences as I wander through this lovely thing called life. This one is definitely inspired by moments I've had in both the distant and the recent past. One of those moments was from probably around a year ago or so unsure I could look at my journal but it's not near me right now. So what's Summer on a year or more, I was with some folks close to me, people, people I love, and we were all tripping together on psilocybin, which you may know is magic mushrooms. Um, I was on a super low dose compared to theirs as I like I had the most experience out of the group. So I was essentially our ground control for our delightful psychotic experiences. You know, I'm the one that chills and kind of stays behind and doesn't fully give in to the Wi Fi so that I can provide them with that reassurance that like they are safe to wander off and explore the real crazy awesome shit that you see. When you have like internal visuals on a trip. It's a really beautiful thing very hard to boot to describe. Well, I just lost the ability to speak for a second there.

Unknown Speaker : 5:52

Anyway, so

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I'm Ground Control. They're tripping balls. I was sitting there just like peacefully minding my own business, just breathing, just enjoying myself. When when I trip, I typically very much lean into the just exist kind of mindset. It's a great time. So I was just doing that, when one of the folks that I was with setup, and you know, they had been kind of traveling internally, we'll say that a mask on and they were just going with whatever showed up. So one of the folks that was what they set up, took the mask off and then just started staring straight ahead. And as soon as they set up, the energy of the room completely changed. I don't know how to describe it well, but the only thing I think most folks can relate to is something that's similar, right, which is the feeling in the air that you feel even in your body. When you're in a car with someone you don't know well and there's no music or there's a sudden dip in conversation. You're just sitting there and it gets Quiet and you're like, oh, it feels like you're being zapped with like a very, very low level of electricity. And the goal of the zaps are like little prods to encourage you to speak up again to fill the silence to eliminate any potential for awkward silence and quiet. At the time, though, like I was tripping slightly, so you know, I was way more in tune with myself more accepting of everything that was happening. Like I said, I really enjoy just the kind of sit and exist vibe, see what comes up and go with it. And that, for me included that electrified silence. So I remember sitting there with my journal and feeling this strong feeling telling me not to speak, even though my mind wanted me to my mind wanted me to ask this person to just kind of come out of an experience, you know, ask them questions about what they were thinking how their time with their eyes closed was, what they were feeling what they've learned so far, like my brain was feeling quite quite quite curious. However, my higher self, no pun intended, was speaking firmly to me and telling me to just pay attention. I wrote this in my journal and like I don't even have my journal near me but I still I will remember this because it's stuck in my mind for so long now. I can feel the weight of the words left unspoken. And as I was writing it, the tension in the air like the the tension, begging me to speak, or say something or do something got more intense. I wanted to break the silence so bad, but I also felt like doing so would potentially ruin whatever was coming next. So instead, I sat quietly and I wrote what I was. I'm doing air quotes right now hearing in my mind, because in that sort of state of mind, you're not really hearing in the same way that like an internal monologue work. It's a lot more like you're hearing without words like there's just this information transfer very hard to describe unless you you've experienced it. So we'll just move on though. But I sat quietly and I wrote what was what I was hearing in my mind next, and it was magical things happen in the space I leave open. I wrote it and then I underlined that because something about it felt so powerful at the time. Almost at the exact fucking moment. I finished my underlining. I heard the deep inhale, have a breath. That was a clear sign that my company was about to speak. So I turned my eyes towards them Finally, and I waited as they slowly began to speak about their experiences and how profound they were and how beautiful they were and how they intended to carry that information forward. Every pause, they included seemed to be especially challenging to not jump into enthusiastically. But I did my best to just sit and bear witness. As I did, I noticed that all of the other folks in the room seemed to kind of like light up and engage more with our friend telling their story. Now, as someone who has struggled with some control freakish tendencies for pretty long time, I got to witness myself work to release that version of that, that control bit by bit in real time.

Unknown Speaker : 10:39

For me for a long time, silence was something that like outside of sales related scenarios, because I have a long background in sales. Um, it always felt like a responsibility to me. I felt like it was my job to control situations and circumstances to the best Have my ability to ensure everyone around me was always having fun having good conversations or being engaged with somehow if there was a lull in a group conversation, I felt obligated to quickly volunteer another topic of conversation or ask a question of someone to get things moving again or, you know, start up something between two people. Oh, you over here. Remember when you did this one thing Oh, well, this other person over here, they did that thing once to now you to talk about it. You know, it's like I was always trying to script things instead of just allowing them to be. Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying that you should avoid being the one to speak up if things get quiet, or that you should take up a vow of silence in order to get more out of your experiences. But I do want you to consider whether or not you will be improving upon the silence by speaking up or not from my purse spective if you feel so uncomfortable with the silence that you feel anxious to speak up and break it, that's something to pay attention to, and work on. That's something to sit with.

Unknown Speaker : 12:15

Learn to remind yourself in those moments. Don't rush to fill the silence. magical things happen in the space I leave open

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and then just watch.

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Become the curious observer, rather than the person who is uncomfortable with long periods of silence. Now like if if something organically happens to come up that you feel like sharing? That's fine. It's still a much different experience then. Oh god, oh, God to quiet This is awkward. Uh, what's your favorite food, guys? Wow. Let's fuckin talk about anything. shuts awkward. We don't need that. Ever since that trip, though, reflect on that sentiment of like, very, very frequently. Don't rush to fill the silence, magical things happen in the space I leave open. It's been enjoyable to witness how repeating that to myself mentally can make silence feel like sort of a fun waiting game. Like, ooh, I wonder what will happen next he. When it comes to this idea, though this isn't just meant to be applied to social situations. This is for all moments in your life. Just this past weekend, I started to notice myself rushing to fill the silence again.

Unknown Speaker : 13:43

But

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this not the silence that comes from lols in conversation, the silence that comes from being at home alone trying to get work done. I'd be listening to a podcast or something and it would end and my first thought would always be what's next. And I would quickly rush to put on something else to listen to and learn from, or try to think of what music I should listen to next. Or maybe I should grab a book and start reading. No, maybe I should check in on social media. In one of the moments of silence, I felt the strength of my own impulses rising up within me. I felt myself feeling like something was wrong, because I wasn't doing anything yet. And I wasn't listening to anything or watching anything. I was just sitting or standing or existing. At one point, after getting off a long phone call on my air pods, I walked over to where my phone was charging, and basically on autopilot I walked over it over to it and just reached for it instinctively, as though whatever I needed to do would become clear to me as soon as I put my hand on my phone. I touched lightly with my fingertips. And then I like caught myself and I withdrew. Immediately. I heard the words again, don't rush to fill the silence, magical things happen in the space I leave open. So instead, walked over to my bed and I sat down at the edge of it. I just sat. I didn't meditate or focus on my breath or anything. I just sat and observed some of my impulses to go be someone who gets shit done. At first, sitting without doing anything was uncomfortable. very uncomfortable. But then as I relaxed into it, it felt like my mind cleared up drastically, even though I didn't even really realize that it was as cloudy as it was when I first sat down. As I sat there, suddenly some of my larger goals came to mind. I started thinking about my Family and about the community, and just how much I want to do for everyone started thinking about some projects I've been working on and started daydreaming about some of the bigger projects I'll be able to do in the future when I'm in an even more comfortable financial position. Suddenly, I no longer felt like I was supposed to be moving towards things strictly. So I didn't sit still. But I felt compelled to act towards my goals instead. And it's a different compulsion. It's, it's not impulse, like doo doo doo. It was like, This is pulling you this is your true self. This is your true purpose, saying come this way now. So it was a very different experience. I got up, went to my office sat down at my desk, and I began working on updating my planner with this week's activities. As I began to reorganized myself yet again, the ideas of other projects and creative thoughts began flooding in. I was feeling fucking inspired man just ready, ready to go back to chopping wood and carrying water, ready to serve my community ready to love everyone and everything. I began to really remember just how meaningful That simple idea is. Don't rush to fill the silence, magical things happen in the space I leave open. I started to allow more moments to simply be what they were that looking at them thinking, What's missing. Nothing. Nothing is ever missing.

Unknown Speaker : 17:49

It's a freeing thing to become more practiced at allowing things to simply be what they are. To see the silence in a moment and know that it's okay. It's not some empty container that must be filled immediately to be seen as useful. sitting still, no music, no TV, no phone in hand just sitting or standing or walking. feels almost wrong at first. But that's not because it is wrong. We've been conditioned to believe that time not being spent through action is time wasted. And that's simply not the truth. We live in a society that is heavily online and tends to lean towards the rise and grind mentality. Like, oh, you're awake, cool, get to fucking work, but the grind never stops.

Unknown Speaker : 18:52

I just like it.

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This mindset is such a great way to get yourself on a path to burnout. It could also be a great way to rob the present moment of all of its richness and all of its mystery by filling every single second with some thing, who knows what kind of dopest shit you could be missing out on, not just externally but internally. Some of my most creative thoughts, and best ideas have come out of quiet moments after putting my phone down, or when I'm showering or I'm out for a walk. If you want some fascinating reads or watches, go look into the power of boredom and its impact on creativity. There's some TED Talks, there's books, there's some fascinating stuff out there. We're all walking through our lives trying to make them into something which isn't necessarily bad. But it's getting us stuck on the idea that without action,

Unknown Speaker : 19:55

our lives lose meaning

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without stuff to fill the time It's time wasted. That's just simply not the case. Your Life has incredible and immeasurable value and beauty to it. Even if you decide to join a Buddhist monastery, take a vow of silence, and then go live in a cave for an extended period of time. You don't have to live your life the way everyone else does. You don't have to live your life according to the few options

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that seemed to be available to you right now.

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You don't have to do anything ever. You could choose to just exist and that would be okay to in simply existing, there is still so much happening and so much to enjoy an experience. Even if you have chosen a goal for your future, or you've chosen a type of somebody that you'd like to work on becoming That doesn't mean that you don't deserve downtime. That downtime, in fact, may be one of the best contributing factors towards you getting what you want, or towards you becoming who you'd like to be. With most of our mindfulness practices, a big thing that I like to re emphasize regularly is that it doesn't necessarily matter what you do or who you are. What matters is whether you meaning the conscious you have chosen it

Unknown Speaker : 21:37

or not.

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I know I don't want a life that comes out of me feeling compelled by instinct and impulses to move. I don't want to be the product of my own body and minds autopilot system, in the moments of silence where I just allow things to be what they

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are.

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I am free. To choose consciously what comes next, I am regularly reminded of what really matters to me. And it typically isn't social media or TV or even a really great podcast. It's deeper than that. This week, I'd like to challenge you to try this out. In the next pocket of time you find yourself with, don't rush to fill the silence. Remember that magical things happen in the space you leave open.

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Leave more space open and see what happens.

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Do it when you're alone, do it in your conversations with friends. Do it with your family.

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Leave more space open.

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I'll be honest, it will real get uncomfortable. You may have to put your phone straight across the room or go outside and buried in a hole. impulses can be so strong and can leave you feeling This urgent desire to cease the discomfort that comes with choosing to not be run by autopilot. The fact that this is uncomfortable though, is all the more reason for you to get

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into it.

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Dig into those impulses, dig into the discomfort, explore what it feels like to be a human feeling the weight of your own programming. Then, take a deep breath if you must, and just allow everything.

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I look forward to hearing about some of the magical things that

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happen to you

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when you start leaving more space open,

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both internally and externally.

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Thanks for tuning in today. Thanks as always, for all of your support. I adore you and I treasure you dearly. Now get out there and manifest dope shit.