Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 44 - "Judgement Divides, Compassion Connects"

Welcome to "Judgement Divides, Compassion Connects" - the 44th Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Monday for Patreon supporters!

It is my goal to create as much positive & encouraging content as I can during these intense, uncertain times we're faced with. 2020 was so much more than anyone expected it to be, and nobody should have to take it on alone. The only way I can continue to do so, is with your help.

To help, you can: become a patron, subscribe to me on Twitch, you can send a tip which I'll turn into an investment... or you can simply share my content on social media. Every little bit helps me be able to continue to create the podcasts and other mindfulness & positivity based content in the future.

The format of these podcasts are forever evolving to reflect current events from personal to global, so I hope you are enjoying them. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions!

Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

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You can find new Positivity Podcasts on Patreon every Monday; Patreon archive positivity podcast episodes are available free for the community every Thursday at 4pm on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, & Stitcher!

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Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

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Transcript

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Good morning, Happy Monday or you know, whatever day it is that you're listening to this, I hope that you are all doing quite well on this

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fine day. And

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I hope that you have already slammed tons of water, and you've done some like stretching or some yoga or something. Got to take good care of our bodies, y'all.

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Thanks.

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As always, to all of you tuning into these, it means so very much to have your support like this, like truly, it's

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just so fucking dope.

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I really enjoy the way that creating these podcasts every Monday challenges me. I typically spend a great deal of my Sundays now, kind of just like wandering around pondering what lessons life has given me through the past week or so. And then I get really excited to translate those lessons into something that others can hopefully benefit from. Another thing that I want to thank you all for his for continuing to show up to those group video chat discussions

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every

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other Saturday. I think I've said it a million times. But it's such a beautiful thing to witness you all challenging yourselves to grow and connect in deeper way with others. Our next one is this Saturday at 1pm Eastern noon Central. And as usual, I'll have a link for y'all in the discord and here on the Patreon as well. I think that this Thank you should be the final one for today. Thank you everyone who showed up for the last two community nights in stream. Our art night was incredible and so fucking inspirational. And then the open mic night wound up going that direction too. And it just blew me away and so many others away. It was just

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so fucking rad.

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So like those of you who shared your creative work within the community, you are fucking awesome. Those of you who didn't share but you stay And you showed some support and some love. You're fucking awesome to you hear me? You're fucking awesome. Anyway, let's get into what I wanted to talk about this week. I want to talk about both judgment and compassion. I've noticed in my own life recently that I've been finding the seeds of judgment

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growing within me again.

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Or maybe they were always there, but just quieter. I don't know, I don't. But it's interesting, the way this kind of shit pops up in my experience, because it always seems to surface right when I think I'm free of it. Like I consider myself to be a relatively conscious individual. And it's something that I work really hard to maintain, because I see the way that a conscious version of myself interacts with the world versus what I tend to do when I'm behaving in a largely unconscious way. For every period of time. I get to enjoy where I feel like I've reached a new level of understanding, or what you could view as like a high point in my existence, not that kind of high point. But you know, something you could view as a high point in my existence, along with it tends to come the next low point, if you want to see it as such, really all it is, for my perspective is the universe being kind enough to give me a bit of a break to catch my breath? before jumping into the next thing I have to work on releasing my attachment to or the next thing I have to work to change my perspective on. I fully believe that I am here to learn, grow and connect. And I intend to do just that. So this week, I started reflecting on some of my recent posts and conversations within chat. And some of the things I've been noticing more and more of some of the words I hear myself saying, I thought I had worked to reduce from I vocabulary like I thought

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I was done with them.

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I realized that I've been doing pretty decent at not judging the average person in the world, and certainly not a judging folks within our community like that's an easy one. But there is apparently a limit in my mind of who deserves to exist without judgment and who doesn't.

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Part of the reason

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I'm working to reduce judgments is because judgments by nature divide us and compassion. Conversely, by nature connects

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us.

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My entire thing is all about connection. I have affirmations that I repeat to myself before streams, and the affirmations are always I am confident, I am articulate, I connect people daily. I help people connect to themselves daily. Connection is incredibly important to me. Connection comes out of compassion, and compassion comes out of connection. The more we look at other living beings in the world See them as us, rather than as separate entities, the easier it is to give them a break. The more we look at ourselves as no different from others, the easier it is to give ourselves a break. Seriously, like think about something in yourself right now that you tend to beat yourself up over. You know all the reasons why you struggle with this particular thing and you're working on it. Let's use laziness as an example. Right? You know that in this example, you tend to lose focus easily. So you work really hard to build up your ability to focus, you know that you tend to get distracted and lose interest fast. So you set alarms or post it notes up or whatever it takes to keep yourself on task. Yet, many days, you still fall short of accomplishing all that you know you're capable of. On days like this. It is so easy to beat yourself up and feel ashamed. Especially like if you struggle with depressive or anxious thoughts, a day like this where you feel accomplished is likely to cause you even more grief internally. Now, as I'm saying this to you, I imagine at least some of you are thinking, yep, that's me. But also not thinking that there's another way to go about dealing with this. Aside from beating yourself up, you might be hoping that by being harsher with yourself, it'll get the job done. I can't give myself a break. I'll just stay lazy, then I got to talk some shit to myself to get myself going. The thing is, though, you're not fucking lazy. You're simply someone working to create healthy or productive routines and stick to them. Some days it's going to be easy to feel overwhelmed and get nothing done and that's okay. Other days you will beast out and you will get so much done,

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you'll shock yourself.

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Viewing ourselves compassionately in moments like these can be So hard, though, so hard. So in those moments, seek to utilize your connection to others to your benefit. When you find yourself being unkind or expecting a lot out of yourself, ask yourself if you'd hold your best friend to those same standards. Ask yourself how you'd talk to me or someone you loved. If I reached out and I was trying to kick my own ass because I didn't get as much done as I wanted. Would you add on some additional criticism as I spoke of feeling disappointed in myself? Like oh, man, yeah, that's, you really suck you you've got to do better. you're capable of doing better why don't you just do better? Or would you offer some kindness and encouragement and remind me that we all fuck up sometimes that human being is hard. I think it's likely that you would have a hard time being critical of someone else you love who is struggling to be the person They want to be in their lives.

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So work to build

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that compassion towards yourself. When you start getting frustrated with yourself, take some deep breaths. Remind yourself that you're human just like everyone else. And that being a human is a massive challenge. I mean, it certainly can be beautiful in countless countless ways. But it's also hard work, to learn how to allow yourself to be human. Especially if you know that's not all you are. When working to grow compassion, I think it works best when you start with yourself. Learn to be exceedingly compassionate towards yourself. Remember, you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, perfect being that simply has countless opportunities to grow. working to build more conscious awareness of yourself of how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself all of that, it can make a huge difference. Notice everything you can about yourself, how you think how you act, how you speak all of it. But notice it without judgment. The judgment simply does not serve you. You didn't create the person you are today, you just became. Now you have the opportunity to essentially and become, but first you must become compassionately aware. Only then can you choose what you will keep and what you will leave behind. As you learn to accept yourself as you are, your ability to accept others as they are will improve as well. It's a very satisfying and very freeing feeling to be able to look at another human, even one who has wronged you See them as an extension of yourself, see them as someone deserving of peace and joy. To see them as just as complex of an individual as you are. This shit is a game changer, my friends. This will also be one of the hardest things you ever do, especially when it comes to those who have wronged us. It requires us to get to a point where we don't take their behavior or their actions personally, even if it feels like we should, even if we have been personally victimized by them, we can choose to see them as someone who we have no interest in being around. But we can also forgive them for the fact that they are likely locked in an unconscious state and unconscious states are by nature unpleasant. Whether you want to believe it or not. They suffer to some of you are likely familiar with My attempts at this very thing with someone who wronged me, I wrote a medium post about it and unintentionally helped spark a major movement in the gaming and streaming space.

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Before that post went out.

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I was finding myself disgusted by this person. This was months before I had them blocked everywhere I had their emails blocked from my channel. I had done everything I could to avoid having to see them anywhere because it caused such a reaction within me. Even with all those steps taken, I still felt that I couldn't escape them. I still felt like I had no choice but to see them in my feed regularly, and every time I did my chest would tighten my stomach would turn and I would quickly rush to scroll past them as I scowled and discomfort and disgust. I know I've talked about this before, but I was hearing ROM das talk about how he worked to view everyone he meets as God in drag. I love this concept. I love it so much. And I do my best to apply it daily.

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Some days are easier than others of course.

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So ROM talked about this, this little puja table or like prayer table that he had, where every morning he would go and sit to meditate and ponder and connect. He had his Guru Maharaj. He, he had Hanuman, a Hindu god he felt deeply connected to he had Jesus and Buddha and all these others on this table. In addition to all of those lovely souls he had, he had also added pictures of some politicians. He struggled to not dislike politicians who went against everything he believed in,

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he would look

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at each of those pictures and do his best to see God or himself or his guru in all of them. It helped him widen his circle of compassion. It helped him communicate more kindly and in a way that was effective, but help Lead movements. I wanted to be able to get to a point where another human being couldn't cause such unpleasant, visceral feelings in me. I believe what Ron believes, I believe we're all one that we're all connected. We're all in this together and only through total love and compassion, like unconditional love, in the type of connection needed to help bring about necessary change occur.

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So one day,

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I decided to start small, and just unblock this person on Twitter and unmute their name. I started seeing them in my feed more frequently as a result.

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And each time

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I would feel that urge to rapidly scroll past I would stop and I would leave them on my phone for a moment and I would just stare and do my best to see myself to see you your fucking cutie to see God It was really hard. It required me to be incredibly mindful so that I could recognize the way that my body was tensing up and then release it. It required me to notice the thoughts that came up as I looked at this person, release them and then refocus. I'm very grateful that I took the time to do this. Because by the time shit hit the fan with this individual, I could honestly and truly say I wished them no harm. I have no ill will towards them. I no longer feel disgust when I look at them. I feel a little sad. But like genuinely, I wish them growth. I hope that they can wake up to the reality of how their behavior impacts others. But if they don't, I still believe they're deserving of unconditional love. I have no intentions of being around this person. But I

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don't hate them.

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This this particular situation felt like it had marked a major change. In my ability to exist without judging others, I really felt that this was something I had left behind with past versions of myself. If you've been following along these podcasts for a while, you may have noticed a trend here. I said the same thing a while ago about guilt and shame. Some big shit happened that would typically leave me feeling ashamed and guilty, and I let it go quickly. I was so proud. And then some smaller shit happened months later. And suddenly I was lost in how ashamed I was. I was trapped and guilt and disappointment in myself. I found myself questioning whether I was actually fit to lead a community or not. Then finally one day, shit clicked again. And it snapped me out of the illusion and suddenly I was back with my piece. And I had once again released all guilt and shame. So going back to judgment, I had a similar feeling after all that shit went down. I was able to work through what was happening without anger without disgust or without judgment. I would notice the thoughts occur and I would release them quickly. Like granted, there were a few days that were harder than others. But mostly I felt great and felt nothing for love. nothing but love for everyone and everything and everything that was happening and everyone who was involved.

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So there I was, silly me,

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chillin with my ego, thinking that I had transcended something that has built been built into our minds and our systems for so long. I thought I had left judgment in the past, and I felt proud of myself. Then just the other day, I was being interviewed on a podcast and we got on the subject of Trump. I said without thinking, Trump is such a piece of shit. Now, don't get me wrong, his behaviors are despicable. We we in the US, we have to have to have to have to vote by This year to get this man out of office, so he can't do any more damage to the country in the world and the people in it. And again, like, please remember, I don't like Biden, even, you know, I would love to be in a position where we could actually vote for a person we like rather than having to kind of pick the lesser of two evils. But alas, that is not our situation right now. Any vote other than Biden is essentially a vote for Trump, and we cannot afford four more years with him in office. I digress. Going back, I heard myself say Trump is such a piece of shit. And then suddenly, it was like a light bulb went off. I thought about ROM das again, and I thought about how he used his little puja table to remind himself that we're all the same. I realized that I've been allowing judgment to creep in more than I'd even noticed. I looked back through some tweets, I considered recent conversations, and I realized that I had gotten back into a pattern of judging, but I just hadn't noticed it because I was only judging those who I felt it was okay to judge what the fuck I was, I was judging people to see if I can judge them or not. What a joke.

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our egos are funny the way they sneak in.

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Sometimes it's a parent because they'll pop up and say shit like you I hate her outfit. I'd never wear something like that. And I can catch those quickly and be like, come on, that commentary isn't necessary brain let her live where what she likes. What I think of it is completely irrelevant doesn't need to be thought doesn't need to be said and then it's gone. Other times though, the ego, which always seeks to separate in one way or another will sneak in a bit more kindly. You're so good at not being judgmental. If only everyone else could live without judgment like you do. And then just like that, I'm in it again. I'm identifying only with my human body in mind. And I'm beginning the process of slowly viewing others as just that other not as same. Not as kin, not as fucking Stardust, just like me and you. This reminds me of another additional wonderful quote by ROM das. When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight. And some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree, and you will allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn't get enough light. So it turns that way. And you don't get all emotional about it. You just allow it you appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying, You're to this or I'm to this, that judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees, which means appreciating them just the way they are. love that quote, I love it so much. And when you consider that with the context of what we're talking about here, Trump is a gnarled tree. He was likely deprived of the proper nutrients, we'll say, that could have led him to grow up and be different. He just is who he is. I don't have to harm myself by carrying around hate for him. And that is what it is. It's harming yourself to hate others doesn't doesn't impact them and impacts you. I can view him as human as someone deserving of love and peace and wish him growth instead of harm. wish for him to wake up. Up to his condition, rather than continuing to inflict it on others, we can acknowledge the horrendous policies and the outrageous level of harm that he does. Without wishing harm on him. We can see that he is not fit to be an office without having to feel the burden of hatred and anger. Judgment divides, compassion connects. As we live more compassionately, and with less judgment, our steps to help the world and the people in it can become more clear. It's hard to think straight when you're angry. It's hard to see people as people when you're viewing them through the disorder, distorted lenses of separation and of judgment. In times like these, it's imperative for all of us to be activists in our own ways, but we must do so. with compassion rather than anger, we must do so with acceptance rather than judgment. We must first accept that we all just are who we are and things just are the way that things are. Once we accept, then we can think, okay, where do we go from here though? We must seek to connect rather than continue to create polarities in the world by judging everything and everyone. So this week, ponder what this notion means to you. Reflect on moments where you find yourself judging others or yourself, work to reduce the judgments on whether anything is good or bad and just see it all as what is. From there. You can decide with a clear and conscious mind, how you will help to improve life here for all of us. Look for moments when others are able to create a rise in you, where others can cause you to feel anger or disgust and work to release that and acknowledge that they are simply bent trees. And realistically, we all are in some way.

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widen your circle of compassion, and let's work together to change this world for the better.

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Now take a few deep breaths

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and go manifest dope

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shit.