Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 45 - "Get Outta Your Head & Get Into Your Life!"

Welcome to "Get Outta Your Head & Get Into Your Life!" - the 45th Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Monday for Patreon supporters!

It is my goal to create as much positive & encouraging content as I can during these intense, uncertain times we're faced with. 2020 was so much more than anyone expected it to be, and nobody should have to take it on alone. The only way I can continue to do so, is with your help.

To help, you can: become a patron, subscribe to me on Twitch, you can send a tip which I'll turn into an investment... or you can simply share my content on social media. Every little bit helps me be able to continue to create the podcasts and other mindfulness & positivity based content in the future.

The format of these podcasts are forever evolving to reflect current events from personal to global, so I hope you are enjoying them. Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions!

Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

-----

Make sure to become a patron on Patreon to support future content!

You can find new Positivity Podcasts on Patreon every Monday; Patreon archive positivity podcast episodes are available free for the community every Thursday at 4pm on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, & Stitcher!

-----

Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

CONTENT --- Twitch | Youtube | TikTok
SOCIAL MEDIA --- Twitter | Instagram

Snap Pack, Best Pack - Join the Community Discord!

Transcript

Unknown Speaker : 0:00

Good morning.

Unknown Speaker : 0:02

Happy Monday friends. I want to thank you all again, for being so patient with me always, like always it means so very much. I know last week I said I missed my podcast episode for Monday. And I intended to do it on Tuesday and then I got hit

Unknown Speaker : 0:21

with this like,

Unknown Speaker : 0:22

huge wave of

Unknown Speaker : 0:24

fatigue. And I was really struggling to refocus myself for a few days. Fortunately, I realized what was causing the fatigue and I adjusted my schedule accordingly. So I could get a little extra sleep and still get some shit done because

Unknown Speaker : 0:41

I was feeling so pooped.

Unknown Speaker : 0:44

Once I started feeling human again, I thought I was gonna be able to get that podcast done. But I had to jump into planning the 3g cx panels that I was set to run. One was yesterday went really well. One will be today and another one is on the third To the first one, it's called caring for yourself during COVID. That was yesterday. Like I said, it went super well. I'm excited about how everyone was able to participate and share their expertise and their knowledge in ways that could help people understand how to take care of themselves a little better. If you would like to see the recording of it, you can still do that by going to twitch.tv slash g c x event, and then check out the past broadcasts and you'll be able to tune into that. Watch it learn. It was good shit. Oh, another brief reminder. Our next live video chat session is scheduled for this upcoming Saturday at 1pm. Eastern noon Central. And then that same day will also be our next art showcase night, which is scheduled for 6pm Eastern five Central. I really hope to see you around for each of those

Unknown Speaker : 1:55

this week,

Unknown Speaker : 1:56

while enjoying some wine downtime one evening Hi, I remembered something embarrassing that happened to me when I was younger. And I felt like, oh, if that isn't a real life lesson, I don't know what is it's time to share it. So when I was like 19, or 20, I think I started somewhere around like 18 and did it until I was around 20. I had a job selling motorcycles. This may be news to some of you. I've talked about this a lot. So if you've been around for a while, you're probably very aware. But when I was younger, I sold Harley davidsons at this huge location back in Illinois, it was like 40,000 square feet or some shit like that, like really big place. And I actually really enjoyed it. I've always been fascinated by cars and bikes and engines and things. And this was a really dope job that I enjoyed for a while when I was doing sales at least I wanted to a different position there at one point that I did not care for as much as much but while I was doing sales, I really enjoyed it and it gave me a great deal of experience to take forward into My life, which went very sales oriented for a while, like I sold cars for a while to anyway, the job consisted of wandering throughout the showroom floor, occasionally cleaning up bikes like you know, polishing chrome and stuff like that, moving them around a little bit freshen up the floor layout. So when people would come in, they wouldn't always see the same bikes over and over and over again. When folks would show up and start checking out bikes, myself, or one of the other sales guys, and for a long time, it was just sales guys plus me, who was, you know, effectively a teenager when I started there. And we would approach them ask if they had any questions that they needed answers or if they needed answered or if they wanted to take a test ride on the bike.

Unknown Speaker : 3:47

Pretty,

Unknown Speaker : 3:48

pretty easy stuff. If the floor was dead, and we didn't have any cleaning or any bike shuffling around to do, then we would just hit our desks to sit and wait. We'd wander around and bullshit or we'd try to make calls to sales prospects or leads we received from the website. I was young. Yeah, obviously, while I had this job, and I was also still not the healthiest in terms of my mental health and overall well being this was a pretty rough time in my life. I was still really angry, I was still dealing with anxiety and depression and I was not coping well. At the time, a lot of my life was spent partying, just drinking, doing drugs fucking around and then the next day, I would stress myself out over what happened the night before.

Unknown Speaker : 4:40

And I would get to feeling even more anxious over how people would feel about how I acted or what I wore what I said or whatever this is, it's very sad, honestly to recall.

Unknown Speaker : 4:52

But

Unknown Speaker : 4:54

back at this time in my life,

Unknown Speaker : 4:57

I had one of my earlier digital cameras at the time. And each morning after the night's activities, I would have to usually very like slowly fumble around through my room to find the camera, see if it was in my my pocket from the night before, see if it was in my bags if it was piled under some shit or underneath a pile of shit in my room, whatever. But I would have to find that camera so that I could look through it to figure out what had happened the night before. I hated not remembering. But I also hated myself too much to be comfortable hanging out with people without being high or drunk or fucked up

Unknown Speaker : 5:38

in some manner.

Unknown Speaker : 5:40

After finding the pictures, then I'd have to go to work mentally to try to recreate what might have happened the night before. And through the foggy darkness, I would gradually piece together the previous evening's events to the best of my ability, at least, and then through my anxious and Self loving mindset, I would tear myself apart for the rest of the day until I was able to get fucked up again, so that I could forget everything. I was also dealing with some pretty bad insomnia around that time that had started years and years earlier but had never been corrected. So on most nights, I had a general rule for myself that I had to be home and in bed by like 4am if I wanted to be a functioning human the next day functioning like heavy, heavy emphasis on the implied air quotes over functioning human part because I really don't think I was functioning as well as I'd like to pretend at the time. I was only getting a few hours of sleep max each night, and a good amount of the time it was

Unknown Speaker : 6:45

alcohol induced.

Unknown Speaker : 6:47

I mean, like,

Unknown Speaker : 6:48

shit was such a mess for me back at that time in my life. I was even fucking around with prescription painkillers for a while because I found that I really enjoyed the sensation of mixed them with both alcohol and weed. Looking back, I am so insanely grateful that I survived some of these especially reckless times I had. And I'm also glad that I was not exposed to anything too extreme, because I'm not sure what I would have done. Like I had a disgust towards cocaine, because I saw the way that it tore apart my family because that was what my birth mom was addicted to before she abandoned us. But aside from that, I really I don't know what I would have done if if lots of other types of things had been around anyway, in addicts in addiction. In addition, words are hard today. In addition to having issues with substance abuse, abuse, I was also struggling so heavily with self worth, that I was constantly dating and fooling around with the absolute wrong kinds of men. I met A few kind ones during this time, but sadly none of them lasted because I would eventually self sabotage thinking they would get tired of me anyway. So what's the point in trying to keep someone who seems like a good guy like they just can't possibly actually exist? So between the drugs, the drinking and the messy, romantic life I had at the time, I was

Unknown Speaker : 8:22

perpetually locked in my own mind.

Unknown Speaker : 8:25

I'd get lost in my head thinking about mistakes I made, I'd get lost in my head thinking about how disgusting I was. I'd get lost in my head thinking about the horrible relationships I was in at the time. I'd get lost in my head thinking about how I had probably been drunk and noxious the night before, and how it was probably only a matter of time before everyone left me because I felt like I was the absolute

Unknown Speaker : 8:47

worst.

Unknown Speaker : 8:50

I'm sure at least some aspects of this are familiar to a lot of you. It is so easy to get Stuck in our own hands, it can be really challenging to find our way out. Going back into my time early, on one particular evening, I was working, and I was stuck in my head yet again. I remembered that I had gone to work that day feeling relatively optimistic, because I had met a man the day before, who seemed serious about wanting to buy a bike from me. He had told me to expect to see him the next day, ready to sign and right away on his bike. Nearly the whole day passed, and I began to think he wasn't coming probably changed his mind. I was used to it in sales, but it still didn't stop me from feeling a bit bummed that I had misread what I felt was a sure thing. Like that really didn't happen that often that someone would leave and I'd be like, yeah, I'll see them tomorrow. So I started reflecting on the day before and what parts of our conversations I may have misread what I could have overlooked that should have shown me that he was really only a tire kicker. This is what sales folks used to refer to people who'd come in and check out bikes ask all kinds of questions in the number come back tire kickers. Anyway. I remember standing near my desk just staring out towards the front doors physically, but mentally, I was not seeing anything. I was stuck in my self loathing mind and feeling frustrated over the possible money I had hoped to make but now didn't think was gonna happen. I finally kind of snap myself out of it and decided I was just going to call the guy and see what was up. So I turned away from the doors, sat down at my desk, and I called my sales prospect. Oh, this is where shit gets ridiculous. The sales crew at Harley was a pretty tough group. They were friends and friendly but they could also be real ball busters. Like no mercy kind of communication. There was a guy named Dan, who was always particularly sassy. He was probably like in his late 40s, early 50s. Like, like when I got hired, I remember trying to introduce myself to him and him responding with. I'm not even going to learn your name until you've been here at least a month. Don't ask me for help. Don't ask me ask me to push bikes for you. Don't expect me to help you close deals if you don't know what you're doing and then just like, walked away. He did eventually become a bud like we were on good terms. We give each other shit and he I think finally like really loosened up once he noticed that I was there to actually work and not just fuck around. Anyway, Dan was a SAS monster, but I liked him for the most part like he was he was nice enough guy. So I call the guy I'm hoping to sell this bike to and to my massive, massive surprise, a very familiar voice answered the phone. It was fucking Dan. I had just talked to Dan not too long before that, so I knew he was at work, but I was confused as fuck. I was like, Uh, wait, who's this? Dan? Dan, how do you have so and so's phone? Open your fucking eyes and look across the room was the response I got, I looked over to where Dan's desk was all the way across the showroom floor. And there was my fucking prospect sitting at Dan's desk, and Dan was holding his cell phone up in the air waving it around. They both shook their heads, like very much like, oh, what an idiot and then just started laughing at me and then ignored me. I was so fucking lost. Dan was a dick. But

Unknown Speaker : 12:46

so are we all and we all still had a general code when it came to stealing other folks prospects. Like it just was not something we did. I had worked with this guy for a while the day before and I felt Like we had a really good rapport, so I was so confused. And I was also still very fucking embarrassed. So rather than pushing it, I just left it alone left them to finish their deal and I probably hid out in like the back somewhere so I didn't have to be around them. Later I found out what had happened. Apparently, in that time that I was staring out at the front doors, wishing this fucking guy would come in so I could just get my sale and bump myself up to the next pay rate for my sales. He came in. I was so stuck in my brain that I literally didn't even see him even though I apparently looked right at him. So imagine how that seemed from his perspective, right? from his perspective. He walked in the doors, excited to buy his bike, happy to be giving me the sale because he felt like I had developed a really nice personal connection with him. That day, and when he noticed me, when he when he walked in, he noticed me right away, and he waved at me excitedly. What he got in return from me was zero acknowledgement. And instead, he watched me as I looked past him like he didn't even exist. And then I turned away from him, sat down at my desk and grabbed my files. He thought I didn't recognize him. And after spending as much time together as we had the day before, he felt offended that I didn't know who he was that I didn't wave back that I didn't greet him or welcome him at all. And instead just turned away like he was nothing. So out of anger. He said, fuck her, and just walked to the nearest sales guy and told him he was ready to buy a bike pointed at the one he wanted and got the sales started. That person he found was Dan and after he told Dan what had happened from his perspective, and felt like it was probably best that he just finished up the deal. When he told me later what had happened, I was floored. I legit did not even remember seeing the guy. I did not see a person walk through the doors, I didn't see him way. If I didn't see him turn and go to Dan's desk. I was so stuck in my head, that I missed out on an opportunity that I had already worked really hard to create for myself.

Unknown Speaker : 15:33

I felt so foolish.

Unknown Speaker : 15:36

I'm grateful that I still got paid at least a little on the deal. But my sales manager refused to let me keep the full sale because Dan had done the final deal. So I only got paid for half of it. as ridiculous as that experience was, you better believe I learned my lesson from it. Looking back now it's funny because that's probably what brought me to some of my first experiences with mindfulness, though I didn't realize it at the time. I would do my best while working to not get caught up in my mind because I never wanted that to happen again. Sadly, that mindset did not get did not get applied throughout the rest of my life. But, you know, I guess those were just mistakes I had to make. So my challenge to y'all this week, is to use my embarrassing story as a reminder, to find more ways to pay even greater attention to your life. It is so easy to get caught up in our heads thinking about what we wished we had, who we wish we were, and all the things we want to be different all the things we hate about ourselves and on and on and fucking on. But that doesn't help us at all. It is only blinding us to the opportunities to create Change that exists in every single moment. Check in more. And when you check in, ask yourself,

Unknown Speaker : 17:08

is this useful

Unknown Speaker : 17:12

if your brain is trying to keep you in the past so you can hate on yourself, or if it's trying to transport you into the future so you can stress over what may or may not be coming next, ask yourself, is this useful? And if the answer is no, return yourself to the present moment by whatever means necessary, you know, do a little face lapse, wake up, refocus on what you can do to feel more present, or to get some things done that you know, you need to. If you don't get out of your head, you will miss a ton. If you're stuck in your head thinking about how much it sucks that you're single, you're not going to see the potential in a budding relationship that could turn into something romantic. If stuck in your head thinking about how much you hate your job, you're probably not going to notice that there are countless ways to learn new skills and probably that there are tons of jobs you don't even know exist because you're seeing past them the way I saw past this man who I had hoped to sell a motorcycle to let go of what you wish were happening. Let go of who you wish you could be and refocus yourself on who you are in this moment and what you can do for yourself and for your life. You deserve to feel good. You deserve a life with compassionate relationships and jobs you enjoy doing. You will miss every single opportunity for these things if you stay stuck in your head.

Unknown Speaker : 18:53

more awareness means more time

Unknown Speaker : 18:55

to see just how many opportunities exist for you both Within your inner life and in your external life as well. Do what it takes to stay conscious in the days ahead. Don't let yourself miss out on life while it happens around you. Stay conscious, stay aware. Stay compassionate. You got this. You got this. Now get some fucking water. You hear me get that water. Make a list if you need to, and get out of that beautiful noggin of yours,

Unknown Speaker : 19:36

so you can get out there and manifest

Unknown Speaker : 19:39

dope shit.