Foolish Mortals

You know we're the biggest fans of Disney's Haunted Mansion ride, so we were getting pretty excited about the newest movie this Summer. Especially considering that it's been 20 YEARS since the first film in 2003 with Eddie Murphy, which left us wanting so much more.
But... we were sadly disappointed again. Take a listen and let us know what YOU thought of the latest in the Disney Marketing Department's attempt to cash in on beloved original Intellectual Property based on theme park attractions.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Let's get this party started right.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Let's get this party started quickly. What kind of part?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hi babe. Hi honey. Hi hello. Hello. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Uh gang. It's it we're in the middle of summer.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Middle. Like smack dab. Hot I'm loving it. White nail polish. Middle of summer.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Well, and we've been taking advantage of it the last like month, I would say. It's been really nice.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

I have a really good tan right now.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

You do have a good tan.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

I know, I know, I know. Can we be by the pool? Dr. Kiri is gonna kill me.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

No, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Well, it's not really on my face.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

But I have problems with my body too.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

And it's and it's not all it's not all sun either.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

No, there's some spray tan. Yeah. So it's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

It sounds nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

I like it. Balance.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Um, and we've been going to the movies for the first time in forever.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

So we've been going to the movies a lot, but our secret is we go Monday through Thursday, and we go to like the first showing of the day for that movie. Right. And we go to assigned seating theaters. So normally we're like two of two to six people in a theater.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Which is perfect.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Really nice. That was like like before I met you when I was single, and I worked Tuesday through Saturday, and I would go Monday mornings to the grove and watch movies, and I would go to the first showing of the day, because it was my day off, and I would just put up all the armrests and just lie down with a pillow and watch a movie like I was in my own living room.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

It's the way to do it now. That way you don't get people on their cell phones, you don't have kids, you don't have people yelling and being inappropriate. And it's nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

It's the new VIP experience. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. So um, so we've seen uh some good movies, and Barbie. Barbie was so good. Barbie was really good. Barbie was even better than I expected it to be.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

He was better than I think it was advertised. Ever deserved to be. Yeah, it was I wasn't expecting any of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Well, and I just want to take a moment to um shout out to Ryan Gosling because Ryan Gosling is Ken. I mean, God, oh my god, that role could have gone so bad so easily.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

People gave him so much shit when he was first cast before they even saw anything.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Well, he just he he he is a brilliant actor to me. Totally. Yeah, and and he's so hot. We in fact we should go watch Crazy Stupid Love.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Is it crazy and stupid?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

No, you know it's that movie with him and Emma Stone and Steve Carell, and he's like all super worked out and tan and like that like gigolo, and he's trying to get with like uh Emma Stone.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

I don't think I've seen that.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

You've seen it.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

No, I really don't.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Babe, don't play this game with me because you always lose. You've seen it, but we'll we'll watch it again tonight, and ten minutes in you can tell me you've seen it, and then we'll and then we'll stop it.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Okay, fun.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Um but we have seen one that was really, really bad. And what was that?

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Y'all, you know how we love the Haunted Mansion so so much. And this year's movie was so sad. Yeah. I just came out of it really sad and disappointed.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

It was awful. I I can't believe they fucked it up for a second time.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

After 20 years of waiting and ten years of teasing from Guillermo del Toro, we get we get something totally wrong again.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Totally wrong again.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Now there were some good things about the movie.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

I don't remember. But I dosed off like at three different points in the movie.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

And that's that's that's appropriate given what was going on, which was nothing. Yeah, the movie was about nothing. It just happened to take place in a mansion that looked like the haunted mansion that we all know and love.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Bingo, where's the haunted mansion lore?

SPEAKER_02 4:03

There was none.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

No, we got we got this weird hatbox story that had nothing to do with anything. Anything. It really didn't. It was just you could have picked it out of any um like wretched villain origin story. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

It wasn't even a ghost story. No, it was just a dead guy who was still dead. Like it you're you're right. It could have been any story about any origin.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

So our our gripe, our bone to pick today is the uh is the hon. Oh my god. So I'm working with well one of my clients today, and uh she's like, Oh my god, did I tell you about the body my husband found? And I was like, What?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

No. What? What no really? Seriously, is is he a cop?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

No, he's a dentist.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Stop. This is awful. This is like little shop of horrors.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

The dentist found a body? So, yes, because his lifelong dream was to always be a lifeguard, like a beach tower lifeguard. And his dad was like, No, you can't do that. That's not a real job. You need to go into the medical field, so he became a dentist. But now at 47 years old, he's like, Fuck it, this is my dream. So he went and he tried out and he got it. So now he's a part-time beach tower lifeguard.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

That's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Well, he says it's extraordinarily boring now. So what he wants to do is just work his way up to like the David Hasselhoff character that just drives around in the truck all day.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Like the lifeguard captain. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Okay, got it. So anyway, so then we're talking about all of that, and then like 30 minutes later, she's like, Oh my god, did I tell you about the body my husband found? And then my response was, oh my god, no. How did we bury that?

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah, you may have remembered that.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

That's awful.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Oh, I just got that. Oh no. It takes me a while.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Uh, anywho, I entertain myself to know and that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Well, I'm I'm I'm excited that he like after all this time, I don't know how old he is, but was like 47 and was like, I want to do something else.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Well, no, he's still a dentist because that's how he you know keeps supports his family. Yeah, but he was on the weekends, he's a lifeguard.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

That's so cool. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

So I guess it was some guy going back to this body again. It was some guy that had like this heart attack out in the ocean when he was like surfing.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

And then the honey got washed up. But here's the thing: so he was supposed to be at the tower at like a certain time, and the lifeguard that was on duty before him that had the truck didn't fill it up with gas. So he had to go then take the truck, fill it up with gas, then got a flat tire. So it was like an hour late getting there. So he actually missed like the whole hubbub with the body. Like he didn't actually get to see like the body body.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yes, the body audit, the body beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Yeah, that's I I wouldn't be able to do jobs like that. I would be freaked out. I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

No, I don't I don't know. You'd have to put your lips on someone else's lips in an emergency. Oh, I could do that.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

I just could deal with the dead bodies everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

No, I don't think lifeguards necessarily generally deal with bodies everywhere. This was just so anyway, so maybe that guy's in the haunted mansion now. Um but if that movie is any kind of like representation or advertising and marketing campaign for like an afterlife community for the hereafter, no way. It was just so rotten, and I can't believe like the amount of talent. But when we were watching the trailer and I saw Owen Wilson, I said, nope, nope, nope. And then we got these longer extended trailers, and I was like, okay, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 8:00

They were looking better.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Maybe this is something we can do, and Owen will get like killed off, or he just it'll be like a cameo one-off roles where yeah, I mean like Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah, she was in it for less than five minutes. I could have done with a lot more of her, a lot more of her, a lot less of him. Um, and I don't know what what Tiffany Haddish's character's penchant was for like drugstores, but everything had to do with like a CVS or a Costco or some place that she picked something up that's not supernatural, but yet has some place in this supernatural element.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Yeah, she played she plays a medium in New Orleans who I think is is an actual medium, but also is a bit of a charlatan who doesn't have a lot of money. Exactly. So so the ongoing joke is that she just doesn't have a lot of money and she's just doing this because so the sage is from Costco and the pencil and paper are from CVS, and it's like I don't I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

It's just it's bad rating.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

What are your like if you had to pick three gripes from the movie, why why didn't you like a movie that you and I were both so excited to see revisited after 20 years after the Eddie Murphy film, which funnily enough, we both disliked at first but now have grown to love, especially in light of this recent movie.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

What are 300 gripes? Well, I mean, let me first start off by saying with the 2003 movie with Eddie Murphy, I it really it's not that I thought it was a bad movie. I just I always liked the scary experience of the Haunted Mansion, and every representation that I see outside of the first half of the actual ride is of the hokey Haunted Mansion. And so when there's too much like I don't know that I want it to be a horror movie, but I was I was hoping that what they were going to do with this latest one was gonna be more Pirates-esque, which is what I think the first one could have been.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Like Pirates of the Caribbean, the movie. Yes, yeah, yes. And you're referring to like the the vibe uh dissonance in the actual ride, like the Mark Davis silliness versus the Rolly Crump uh spookiness.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Correct, correct. So I wanted more of the spookiness the first time around. Now, where the the the first movie gets me is I can put that on and curl up and pull the covers up and be like, okay, this is just it's hokey, it's fun, but it's the haunted mansion.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

You still feel like you're in it.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Despite it being kind of silly and ridiculous with Eddie Murphy. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

So when I created my expectations for this particular one, I really wanted it to be something that captured the essence of the haunted mansion. When we see that they're using basically the facade of the Disneyland Anaheim exterior, you think you're gonna get the haunted mansion. You think you're gonna get the lore. So my first gripe is that we don't really get a lot of lore. It's not about the haunted mansion, it's about, as you said earlier, this family that moves into this haunted house that looks like the haunted mansion and is called the Haunted Mansion in the movie title. That was it. Give me more about why it was created, like uh uh you know, give me an origin story like we would get in the conjuring.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Yeah. That was I I totally agree with you. That was my issue with the first movie, and I was really hoping that they would have learned their lesson, but Disney did it again. And the I I was we were chatting about this beforehand because Jared and I were both so upset after the movie, we didn't talk about the movie for like hours afterward.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Oh, yeah, I honestly no, it's it literally was like an hour after we left. We did not say one word about the movie for an hour, and I finally said, I'm just gonna assume that our silence over the last hour means that we're both thoroughly dissatisfied with this pump of shit.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Because usually we'll get like, oh, that was a good movie, or that was fun, or with Barbie, we were just like, oh my gosh, that was so good.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Even a bad movie, like when we saw Neon Demon for the first time. Remember how pissed we were about to be. But then I remembered, oh right, it's a horror story, it's not a supermodel movie, so let's let's watch it again. And then I fell in love with it.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

It was very telling that neither of us talked about it afterward. I think we were just both so shocked and disappointed.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Disappointed. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Uh, but as I mentioned before, the reason I feel like Pirates of the Caribbean as a franchise, but especially with the first film, is so successful, is because the filmmakers took what lore we knew of the Pirates of the Caribbean from the ride, they took whatever established characters we knew or whatever scenarios we knew and loved, and were able to expand on that, but still focus on the fact that these are pirates in the Caribbean doing stuff. So let's watch them do stuff.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

The problem with the Haunted Mansion and with the Jungle Book movie, same thing, is that both movies Haunted Mansion movies are focusing on the wrong thing. They're focusing on the people, they're focusing on the Eddie Murphy family, they're focusing on this group of misfits in the new movie that have come together and now are not even fighting ghosts, but interacting with ghosts.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

And we don't want that.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

I mean, I I personally don't want to.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

No, babe, when you when you go to the haunted mansion at Disneyland and you're on the ride, what do you want to experience?

SPEAKER_01 13:38

It's hard for me to even put it into words, and I think that's what makes a good movie maker a good movie maker, is that they use the picture where words can't be used, and that wasn't accomplished here.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

That's that's a good way to put it. And I'm thinking, I I don't want to experience other people's experience in the Haunted Mansion. I don't sit on the ride and think, oh, I wonder what that person is thinking while in this moment in this ride. I want to see the ghosts. I go to the mansion for the ghosts, for the lore, for the spookiness, for so the silliness. I go for the ghosts. So, why, when making a Haunted Mansion movie, do you not make it about the ghosts?

SPEAKER_01 14:15

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Give me the story behind the bride and how that bride interacts with uh the Hapbox ghosts, and where did the hitchhiking ghosts come from? Why are they there? What's the story behind the busts and why are they always singing? Yep. Who, by the way, weren't even in this movie for some reason. What's with the opera singer? Tell us a little bit about that. Like there are so many ninety-nine different ghosts in that mansion, and you couldn't tell us any of their stories except for one that you made up, and we didn't hear about it until the last 20 minutes of the film.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I mean, the GameCube game did a better job at encapsulating your haunted mansion vibe than this movie did. It really does. I mean, I don't I'm not trying to like trash this movie, but it's just it's made it too easy.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

We're voicing our grievances.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

And they're and they're there, they we do have grievances.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

I'm just I'm really disappointed. That's one thing I don't like. The second thing is the dialogue.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

The dialogue in the film is so poorly written, aside from what we mentioned of Tiffany Haddish.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Everyone's I adore Oh, I love I love the whole cast with the exception of Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

I love the whole cast, but I I so much of it was unnecessary. There were points where Owen Wilson was just saying, like, whip dang doodle bug. It's like stupid shit like that. Like, I'm not don't quote me on that. But he was saying stupid shit. That's like why why did the why did they decide to write this?

SPEAKER_01 15:39

I picture because of that, whether this is true or not, because of the way that it's given to us and that you just described, it creates this image of my mind of like Owen Wilson sitting in his trailer, coming up with ideas about how he can enrich his character and then coming to the director between each take and being like, So what do you think if I do something like this? It's like, whoa!

SPEAKER_02 16:00

There were also times in the movie where I felt like the characters were talking over each other very quickly and hurriedly, and that felt like a direction decision to allow them to ad lib a little bit in those moments, which in a movie like this is such a mistake. Like we're not looking for waiting for Guffman. This is this is a scripted film, tell us a story.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

It adds to the convolution, yeah. Right. It makes it feel even that much more deranged.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

My second issue is that you know how sometimes people will be stunt cast into roles. So I don't think any of these people were stunt cast because they're all valid actors except for maybe one. But I feel like the acting, and this could be directing, it could be editing, but I feel like it was stunt acting.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

I was not watching any of these characters be these characters, I was watching these actors play these characters. So there was no real suspension of disbelief, which you need in a movie like this.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Yeah, I agree with you. Danny DeVito played his character from Sunny and Philadelphia, yeah. He played Frank in the Haunted Mansion.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

But I'll take I'll take Danny DeVito's Frank.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

I will watch the Always Sunny cast in the Haunted Mansion.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Oh, like the Muppet Haunted Mansion. I would watch that. I would love it. Oh my god. All right, well, you know what? Maybe then, maybe if those guys do it, we'll actually get the Haunted Mansion. That'd be great that we crave.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Can you imagine Charlie in there?

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Oh, he'd be so confused. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

That'd be so good.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Um, I will say on a side note, I'm okay with the hokey part of the haunted mansion now because I have the backstory on why it changes in the actual ride itself. So a lot of it is, you know, you've got one designer that had this image, one designer had this image, and so they said, Well, each of you will get half of the ride.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Essentially, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Right. But here's the thing when you first enter the ride and you're inside the house and you're going through the mansion and you're exploring these haunted rooms, you're alive. Then you go up to the highest point of the house in the attic, right? And you go to what is basically a window in the attic, and then all of a sudden, you are spun around, and you are going down on your back. And then you're in the graveyard. And it's doot do doot do do doot do do. So guess what happened?

SPEAKER_02 18:44

You did.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

You did, gurr. You got pushed out that window.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

It's a cool idea. I never thought of that until you mentioned it.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

You died, and you became one of the happy ghosts. So you were no longer, it's no longer a scary place for you to be.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

And that's and it's probably the hatbox ghost because he was there originally, and then after the first week, pulled from the ride and then really wasn't seen about. Then there was all these quote-unquote conspiracy theories about there being a hatbox ghost, but then there was this idea that it was a Mandalorian effect and that people just remember it because other people say that it was there.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Did you say Mandalorian effect?

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Mandela. Oh my god. I have to have my fun when I can get it. So good.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Well, there was only one photograph of the hatbox ghost that existed.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

And for the longest time, people would see the photo and not know what it was and where why isn't that ghost in the mansion?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Well, he's back now in full effect. So I think you're basically going through like, and and I always think that uh the lore is the hatbox ghost being in love with Constance the Bride, and she's you know, beheading these husbands, and then you're in her territory, and she set her sights on you. So because of his love for her, he kills you and pushes you out the window.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

That's so cool. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

And then you did.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Um, did you know that um I don't know Orlando's version of the Haunted Mansion does not have a hatbox ghost?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

No.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Um, but is currently closed down and will be reopening with the hatbox ghost. However, there's a rumor that the hatbox ghost is gonna be in a different place in the mansion.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Maybe it'll pop up here and there like uh Johnny Dubb and Pirate.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

That would be cool. I wouldn't mind that. It's a cool looking character, the animatronic's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Um, but there's a rumor that they're placing the ghost in the uh never-ending hallway with the candelabra that floats. Uh-huh. And a lot of people are upset about that because you don't see any ghosts, like actual ghosts, until after Leota's seance.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

So to just throw him in there as the only ghost that just kind of pops up. Some people are a little iffy about it. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't really care.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I think the hatbox ghost is more than just a ghost in the mansion.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

I that's valid. Yeah. Yeah. I think so.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Uh what was uh what was your next gripe about the movie?

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Um, okay, so the fact that it wasn't about ghosts, the second one was the um dialogue. And then um you actually hit the third one for me, which was the um the the caliber of acting for this group of actors because I I was expecting more from each of them, especially Danny DeVito and Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah. Jamie Lee Curtis was good.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

She kind of gets a pass though because she was barely in it.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Yeah, and and she the parts that she was in felt effective, with the exception of this weird, like I'll tell you the answer for three dollars comment that she makes.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Again, there's just such bad writing.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

There was no reason for it. It wasn't that funny of a joke. The characters didn't even react to it when she said it. It was a really weird. Weird and misplaced.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Um but yeah, I you hit on it. It was it's the the acting in it. Just felt like I don't know, whoever made the decision, be it the director or the actors or whoever. Um I felt like they were being kind of lazy about it and thought, well, we've got Danny DeVito, he's great at improv. We've got Jamie Lee Curtis, she's amazing at everything. Oh, and Tiffany Haddish is just in the haunting. Yeah, so let's just let them have fun. Give them it felt like they were trying to do like a Christopher Guest movie in the Haunted Mansion at times. And it and it was really awkward.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

It just felt like it was all over the place for me. I it really just felt I I was getting dizzy, just trying to keep up with where they were trying to go with it. And and I think my third sort of like issue is like, how how dare you? Fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

How very dare you.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

How very dare you. You've had 20 years, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

I can't believe it's been 20 years since the first movie.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

20 years. I mean, we've got 17 Spider-Mans, 36 Batmans.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

And you're not exaggerating.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Fuck you. I'm so insulted, I don't even want my money back.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

You're really not exaggerating when it comes to the amount of Spider-Mans and Batmans when you count all the animated versions and like little one-off movies.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

It's ridiculous. It's like, where the hell? Of course, we keep doing like we keep going back to the same shit in Hollywood because every time you get an opportunity, not even to do something new, just to do something right. You fuck it up. And now everyone's on fucking strike. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Get to work. I gotta go have a meeting with Kim Kardashian because I think everybody needs to just get to work.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Gross. She's so gross. She's so gross. Speaking of which segue, American Horror Story is probably starting in a little bit. Are you excited? I'm not, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

No, because it's like, well, John fucking Ham is ruining good omens second season. Like, shut the fuck up, Don Draper. No one cares about your bad acting ass or your big dick that you pretend that you don't show off to everybody.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Is everyone just stunt casting now? I mean, Ryan Murphy's been known for it for years now, but oh my god, 1984 with that skier.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Gus Kenworthy. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Every season after a season high school play with Kathy Bates was a bit of a stunt cast too, with the exception of her being an amazing actor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Oh my god. Um, I I'm I'm I'm wanting some American horror story. We're watching, we're we're watching Hotel again right now. I guess kind of in preparation for it.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Yeah. Um, but no, I can't, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, Gus Kenworthy in '84 uh was he's not as distracting as Kim Kardashian, despite it maybe being stunt casting. Kim Kardashian is just a fucking vacuum that sucks all of the life force and energy out of a room to validate her own fucking boring existence. What the hell? Like, I'm Emma Stone is an amazing or Emma Roberts is an amazing actress.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Oh, they should have brought Emma Stone in.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Fucking hell. I mean, I know what it's like when you are doing a scene with a bad fucking actor. Why would they torture their beloved cast with the introduction of this fucking entity into their universe? It makes no sense to me unless he's got a big surprise up his sleeve and uh everyone's gonna watch this and be laughing at Kim Kardashian and then laughing even harder because then we'll realize that she filmed this series not realizing that she was gonna be made a joke of.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

I doubt it. I I honestly I I don't think Ryan Murphy can be a genius in moments. I don't think he's that smart. I think what he's doing, to be honest. Last season was the disappointing, it was the lowest rated season um and it was also on a steady decline in ratings as episodes went on throughout the course of the season. So out of all of the years of American Horror Story, it was probably the least successful.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Well, because for most of us in the Ryan Universe audience, we also watched Pose. So last season's American Horror Story was just another telling of the Pose story.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Yeah, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

And yes, it is a horror story, but at this point in time, we've expected horror and supernatural to be somewhat synonymous.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Right. Um, so I think in response to that, knowing that it was a bit of a letdown for many people, because American Horror Story as a franchise was really, really popular at like five seasons ago and was gaining ground and doing really well. I think knowing that viewership is already going to be down, he jumped the shark and was like, okay, we need Kim Kardashian because everyone knows she's a terrible actor, because she's not an actor. Everyone knows that she's top of mind because the Kardashians are still it people, unfortunately. And he knows that people are going to watch to see what happens, or like you said, oh, is there gonna be something? Is she gonna die? Like, what's we ought to see? He's counting on people wanting to see what happens, and I for one really don't care.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Do another Hollywood, or just stop, or just stop.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

If you're not gonna make American Horror Story what it is, then don't make it anymore. I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Well, that was cult, right? And well, after a certain stories and stuff. After a certain point that that was Apocalypse.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Um, after uh I think up after Apocalypse, we realize that these are all of these are in the same universe, all these stories.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

I I just I'm I'm not gonna watch it and I'm not like protesting it. I just don't care.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

I'm gonna tune in to at least the first episode. I'm gonna taste my scrambled eggs before I salt them. I think that's fine. And then I might do that, and we'll see. And then just kind of I just to answer your question, I'm not excited about it, but I'm gonna tune in uh without any expectation, except that I might be tuning out after an episode or two.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

And and that's our prerogative, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:59

And then and then one and then once it's done with, maybe I'll watch it so that it doesn't count for any like streaming credit points or Nielsen ratings.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Well, that said, I'll watch it in syndication.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Yeah. Speaking of, you and I are binge watching old episodes of Night Court right now, which is amazing. So uh on a one eighty, you guys, if you want to have a good time, go look up Nightcourt on Amazon. And I'm gonna go cast a spell to haunt the makers of this latest Haunted Mansion movie, and then I'll go ahead and cue up 2003's episode for tonight, babe.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Uh or we can watch Muppets Haunted Mansion.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Or we can watch Muppets Haunted Mansion.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Anything but this one, please.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Oh well. Okay. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Bye.