Sexual Biohacking with Susan Bratton

Has your sex life hit a wall?  If eating chocolate on the couch while binge watching vintage Sex and the City episodes sounds more appealing than actually having sex in the city, then you’re not going to want to miss this edition of the Body Literacy Podcast.
Intimacy expert and self-proclaimed “Orgasmanaut”, sexpert, Susan Bratton, is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. Susan shares with us her best secrets for igniting intimacy through sexual biohacking.

Anti-aging products for sagging skin and muscle loss are the norm in our culture, but few people consider that our sexual health requires as much conscious attention in order to maintain vibrant sexuality especially in the second half of life.  Lifting weights and and eating organic are great for the body, but did you know there are many options for boosting sexual health that extend beyond diet and exercise?

Susan shares her top tips for boosting libido and non-invasive treatments that improve vitality for men and women alike.

Susan’s commitment as a sexual wellness educator in rooted in personal experience.  Having watched her own sex life dwindle while she and her husband pursued busy careers, when their relationship came to a crossroads, the couple made a soul pact to do whatever was necessary to reignite their passion for one another.  Her experience-based approach is what makes her programs so authentic and relatable.
Susan and I go deep on sexual biohacking techniques, sexual regenerative medicine, intimacy skills, communication in the bedroom, and much more.

You can learn more about Susan and her courses and product lines for enhancing your intimacy at SusanBratton.com and The20Store.com .  You can also visit expandherorgasmtonight.com as mentioned by Susan in the show.

This episode of the Body Literacy Podcast is sponsored by the Analemma water wand.  You can learn more structuring your water to a coherent crystaline state at https://analemma-water.com/?ref=5640 , use code JEN10 for 10% off of your purchase.

* * * * *
The Body Literacy Podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Any statements and views expressed by myself or my guests are not medical advice. The opinions of guests are their own and the Body Literacy Podcast does not endorse or accept responsibility for statements made by guests. If you have a medical problem, please consult a qualified and competent medical professional.

The Body Literacy Podcast may promote, affiliate with, or partner with other individuals or businesses whose programs, products and services align with mine and Body Literacy, LLC may receive commissions or compensation for promotion of those products or services.

Theme music for the Body Literacy Podcast is provided by Big Wild, https://bigwildmusic.com/ .

Be sure to subscribe and sign up for updates at https://JenMayo.com . Follow us on social media @jenmayo.bodyliteracy .

As always, five star reviews are appreciated if you enjoy the content on the Body Literacy Podcast. Please visit Apple iTunes Podcasts to leave your rating or review.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 2:37

Has your sex life hit a wall. If eating chocolate on the couch while binge watching vintage sex in the city episode sounds more appealing than actually having sex in the city, then you're not going to want to miss this edition of the Body Literacy Podcast. Intimacy expert and self-proclaimed orgasmonaut sex expert, susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. Susan shares with us her best secrets for igniting intimacy through sexual biohacking.

Speaker 1: 3:11

Anti-aging products for sagging skin and muscle loss are the norm in our culture, but few people consider that our sexual health requires as much conscious attention in order to maintain vibrant sexuality, especially in the second half of life. Lifting weights and eating organic are great for the body, but did you know there are many options for boosting sexual health that extend beyond diet and exercise? Susan shares her top tips for boosting libido and non-invasive treatments that improve vitality for men and women alike. Susan's commitment as a sexual wellness educator is rooted in personal experience, having watched her own sex life dwindle while she and her husband pursued busy careers. When their relationship came to a crossroads, the couple made a soul pact to do whatever was necessary to reignite their passion for one another. Her experience-based approach is what makes her program so authentic and relatable. Susan and I go deep on sexual biohacking techniques, sexual regenerative medicine, intimacy skills, communication in the bedroom and much more. You can learn more about Susan's products and programs at susanbrantoncom and thetwintestorecom. Welcome to the show, susan.

Speaker 2: 4:30

Hello, you beautiful creature. It's so nice to be here with you on this lovely morning and see your gorgeous face. You're such a beauty and I'm so excited to be here. As I was telling you before we started the show, I'm continually impressed with the wide variety of curious things you bring into the mix of this show, and I'm also really impressed at the bravery and your willingness to really go into something that I think is one of the biggest issues in sexuality today, which is understanding women's female orgasmic response during intercourse, which is such a thorny subject for so many people, I think we're going to shed some incredible light on it.

Speaker 2: 5:14

So thanks for having me. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 5:15

We're going to have a very interesting conversation and thank you so much. It's you're quite beautiful this morning as well. So I will start out briefly. Anybody who's listened to this podcast before may have heard the story before, but for those who may be new listeners and new to the show, I will kind of clue them in on kind of how I came to be in this space and why I specifically asked you to come on the show and share your expertise with us as well.

Speaker 1: 5:50

So in 2016, my father took a Viagra that led to something that we were told is called a spinal stroke, and this set off a cascade of events in his body that ultimately led to his death a few years later. But what I really took away from that experience and watching his health decline and his mental state during that period of time was just how closely linked chronic disease is with sexual health. And hats off to my mom and dad. They were well into their 70s when this happened, so like I'm very inspired by them that they were still enjoying that part of their life, and I think you're going to talk a little bit about aging and sexuality as we as we move through this conversation, but I, you know I really took away that there is this big link between chronic disease and when we look at bodies that are in fight or flight, the first two things to go are reproduction and sexuality and digestive health. So I think we'll probably leave those into the conversation as well as we get started here.

Speaker 1: 7:01

But I also wanted to talk briefly. You had mentioned in another interview that I saw that you did with somebody a book by Dr Lindsay Persson Persson. Yes, burke would be oh.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Berkson got it Lindsay. She had a book called Sexy Brain, I believe, and she has a quote in there. I believe that she talks about intimacy as being as beneficial as veggies and exercise for our health, and that really resonated with me. So let's start there. Why is sex and intimacy so important?

Speaker 2: 7:39

Yeah, you know it's funny. I recently saw a piece of a new piece of data that said there were 3,500 participants in this study and they were shown images of people between the ages of 18 and 80. And their job was to guess the age of the person. And in the study what they said was that people who had intimate connection three times a week or more looked 10 years younger than their cohorts. And I was like I could list all the neurotransmitters and the vascular experience and all the research and nervousness and all that stuff about great sex, but hell's bells, it makes you look 10 years younger.

Speaker 2: 8:16

Exactly that alone is reason enough to focus on your sex life and having satisfying, ageless intimacy.

Speaker 1: 8:24

Yes, yes, so I mean 10 years younger and make you younger, absolutely, absolutely, because especially important when you're my age, because I'm in my 60s.

Speaker 2: 8:35

So when you're in your 40s and 50s you can kind of fudge it a little bit, but if you're 60s you're like I need those 10 years Right, Give me that decade. I want to look like I'm in my 50s, not my 60s.

Speaker 1: 8:48

Exactly, exactly so how did you end up becoming the sex birth that you are now?

Speaker 2: 8:56

Well, I so. I've been with my darling husband for 31 years now, 11 years into our marriage. We had everything going for us, except I had started not wanting to have sex with him, and he was super bummed out about it.

Speaker 2: 9:14

And yeah, everything to get me to have sex with him. The poor guy, I mean honeydews, begging, pleading, bargaining, anything. And man, I was just not motivated. I wanted to have good sex, but I hadn't been having good sex Since the new relationship energy had worn off in our early years of our marriage. I had been basically just going along with it, you know, and it wasn't really very satisfying for me. I wasn't having orgasms from anything but my own vibrator and my husband was having a great time. It felt great to him and I just really checked out of that. And when I checked out of the physical intimacy, he checked out of the emotional intimacy and got super pissed at me, which I don't blame him for any of this. I don't blame us for anything that we did. Our responses were normal and, honestly, jen, it's what happens in bedrooms all over the world.

Speaker 2: 10:08

I mean, the problem is that what Dr Laurie Mintz so eloquently described in her TED talk about the orgasm gap the difference between how easy it is for a male body partner to achieve satisfaction from intercourse versus how much more unusual and not common it is for our female bodied people to achieve orgasm from penetration and I thought to myself this is exactly what happened to me and what almost destroyed my marriage. But my husband and I wanted to fight for our marriage. We were best friends. I could never, I could never have done better than I married Very, very well. I got lucky and so did he, and we didn't want to end our marriage. So we said, all right. Well, we're very, very intelligent people. What do we do here? Let's go to a therapist. Let's figure out what we need to do to learn how to have good sex, and essentially what we were doing was closing the orgasm gap. That's what we were doing. We just didn't know. Those were the words at the time, right, and we did therapy.

Speaker 2: 11:14

I dealt with some issues from some sexual traumas that I'd had as a young woman. And we got through that and we started going to sex workshops and I have to tell you I was the bravest girl in the world, like I mean, to get naked and go to sex workshops and do that stuff. I was. I had never even looked at my own vulva, really. I mean, I was just very kind of disconnected from the whole experience and I was a Silicon Valley power woman executive. You know I was just like work career, my kid. You know, all that stuff and those sex workshops just absolutely melted me. They opened me to my possibility for my pleasure, and within a workshop or two, we were having the best sex of our lives, and it kept getting better as we learned more and more, and we looked at each other and we were like we have to bring this stuff to the internet. We have to make it so people can get this information without spending thousands of dollars and having to get naked in a room full of people. How do we do that? That's one way to do it, though, right? Well, we were both techies. We were both tech executives, so bringing things to the internet was like what we did. So, 17 years ago now, jan, we started personal life media, and I have written and published over 44 books and programs that teach people how to transform having sex into making love.

Speaker 2: 12:43

I've crossed the gasm chasm, I've closed the orgasm gap, and what I can tell you and your listeners is that orgasms are simply a learned skill. Every person can do it. There are 20 kinds of orgasms the human body can have, and I'm talking about, for the male bodied and female bodied I don't care if you're XXXY of any gender expression sparkle rainbow for the win, but you can train yourself to have so many different kinds of orgasms. There's actually three categories. So I've been studying orgasm for two decades. I call myself an orgasmonaut. I'm like the astronaut of orgasms. I go to the far reaches of orgasmic outer space and I come back with a map to the territory so you can take your rocket boosters right there too. And that's, I think. If there's one takeaway that I wanna give you and your listeners on this podcast today, it's that you have so much orgasmic capacity and that your sex life and your personal growth they're two sides of the same coin. You'll get better at sex as you get older. The best sex is ahead of you.

Speaker 2: 14:03

The female body is extremely different, in the way we have arousal patterns, than the male body, and what I like to do is I like to describe the difference between what I call patriarchal sex and matriarchal sex, because we've been having sex like men need us to, but not because they are like we're having it my way. It's just all they know. And they've been more of the masculine sexual leader in most of our relationships, but as women, as we get to income parity, as feminism moves its tentacles more deeply into our culture. As women get more empowered and more confident, we are beginning to say what should sex really be like? Let's re-examine the way we're thinking about sex. And our male body partners are like, yeah, let's reimagine it, because if it's not good for you, it's not good for me. And that's where my husband and I ended up was like let's fix it, it's broken Right. 42, 43, 44, 45, somewhere in there.

Speaker 2: 15:09

In my early 40s I started for the first time having orgasms from intercourse and subsequently have become quite good at orgasming from intercourse as well as all of the other kinds of orgasms Female ejaculatory, cervical, breast gasms, throat gasms, belly gasms. There's locations you can touch. There are orgasmic techniques like erotic hypnosis is an example of one expanded orgasm. I've had an expanded orgasm practice with my partner for going on 20 years. That's one of the things that saved my marriage. One of the three things that saved my marriage were understanding what he wanted out of my, our relationship and him understanding what I wanted, because they're different things that matriarchal, patriarchal, not just in the bedroom, and the whole thing. Radical honesty, telling the truth about what felt good, what didn't, what I was experiencing and what I wanted and needed and learning to understand and listen to myself and give my body voice so that my partner knew where I was at all times. And number three was this notion of an expanded orgasm practice which helped me become multi-orgasmic through manual stimulation. It's a clitoral stroking practice that then helped me carry that body wisdom of expanded, multiple, incredible orgasms from direct clitoral tip of clitoral stimulation into intercourse orgasms.

Speaker 2: 16:40

Because I activated my yoni and by yoni I mean my female genital system, because a lot of women think about their bodies as, okay, I've got a vagina and a clitoris and that's kind of like it for sex. It's like it's those two things, that's what's on the table, but actually your entire female genital system. You have three erectile tissue systems, your vagina's wrapped in erectile tissue and when you get that all activated you cross that gasm like you're just hopping, skipping, jumping right over that bridge. You're just like leaping across the gasm. So when women are empowered to understand how their anatomy works and how their arousal system works and the kind of stimulation they need to have orgasms from intercourse, they suddenly start doing it.

Speaker 2: 17:29

So penetration orgasms or orgasms from intercourse are just one of the kinds of orgasms that you can learn. But if you're in heterosexual monogamous relationship in a way, I think it may be and the single most important thing you can learn, because if you're not sexually satisfied from intercourse, you're not gonna wanna keep doing it. Every time you do it just because it's nice to be close to him, you're putting another brick in the wall of your future sexless relationship, your breakup. He's gonna go find someone younger thinking you were broken. You're not broken. You're having sex like a dude and you need to have sex like a lady.

Speaker 1: 18:07

And I think kind of what you were describing there, with that expanded orgasm experience too and this is maybe kind of a difference of the sexes as well is more like riding away versus falling off a cliff, and I think so many people in our culture have been the only sex education they've gotten is the falling off the cliff kind of sex education.

Speaker 2: 18:32

That's the original Kinsey ejaculatory model from the 1960s Time. For an update on that, and add expandherorgasmtonightcom, which, if you'll put it in the show notes, that would be great there is your.

Speaker 2: 18:48

And I'm gonna make a list of things. I'm gonna probably drop a fair number of free URLs for things, because Wonderful A woman who's listening to this, or even her male body partner. If you're on that journey to cross that orgasm chasm, to close that orgasm gap, I want you to have the assets that you need and I've got so many things that can help you. So expandherorgasmtonight. Actually, one of the things you get is you get these things called three free pleasure reports, and one of them is what is expanded orgasm and expanded orgasm. There's charts in there that show you the difference, but essentially, expanded orgasm is different than extended orgasm, is different than multiple orgasm and is different than orgasm. It's like exponential time space quant.

Speaker 1: 19:31

It's like a quantum, quantum orgasm is really what we're talking about Exactly.

Speaker 2: 19:35

Now, we're in the quantum sphere these days with our quantum health, and we should have our quantum orgasms, right, right right.

Speaker 2: 19:42

So that is very good for you to visualize what you're going for. I always like pictures and I also, in that particular download, give you three free pleasure reports. The other one is called the power of peaking, which also helps intensify your orgasms. It's a little technique that uses your nervous system the way your nervous system works to expand the sensation that you feel. And the third one is something called touching for rapture, which is a very important thing that not a lot of people think about.

Speaker 2: 20:12

But when we're with our male body partners and they're trying to make us have an orgasm, that's the wrong mentality. When they're trying to twist our knobs and push our buttons and like we're some kind of Pachinko game or something, it's much better if they understand that we get turned on by their turn on and that when they're holding back their turn on and they're in their strategy mind and they're trying to make us do something, it's very difficult because we feel performance anxiety. But when they begin to take pleasure from our pleasure and they show us their pleasure, we begin to resonate. We're vibrating with their turn on and that's making us get more turned on. So these are really great practices for couples to learn at any time in their love life and they really facilitate crossing that gasm-casm.

Speaker 1: 21:00

Right and I think part of what you're describing to and I love that you introduced the word quantum I'm a huge student of energy medicine and I think, both medically and sexually, we kind of live in a culture where everything has become very mechanicalistic and I think part of that's part of what female sexuality and women as sex educators bring to the space is a much greater understanding of how we move energy through our bodies and that sex, like many other experiences, is not just a mechanical go from point A to point B kind of experience and it's not linear. It is this vast, all over the place. It's messy, but a beautiful messy in terms of not being on this strict path of how do I get, like I said, from point A to point B. And one other thing I wanted to bring up is you were describing your relationship with your husband, which that sounds so beautiful and I'm so grateful that you guys were able to go on that journey together and now sounds like you're in a very beautiful place.

Speaker 1: 22:21

This term relational alchemy and how we take, like I said, the energy that we have in our relationships and how that translates into health and the rest of our bodies and minds, and how that translates into, like we were talking about earlier, longevity and just looking younger and feeling younger and feeling alive and vibrant. Is that the purpose of orgasm? Just to help us feel alive?

Speaker 2: 22:50

Yeah, I mean there's a lot of debate about what the benefits of orgasm are, not that there are benefits, but why there are benefits, and perhaps we'll never know, and it may be one of the most beautiful mysteries of humanity, but it can be. People think it might help with conception, it might help with drawing people together and creating pair bonding. It might be helping women reset their nervous systems because, remember, we're estrogen dominant and our male body partners are testosterone dominant, and so, because we're estrogen dominant, estrogen is a molecule of safety because women are prey, not predators, and so that's.

Speaker 2: 23:34

Another thing about the matriarchal versus patriarchal sex is that men, they're horny all the time. They masturbate every day because they need to keep their sperm fresh. They wake up with a morning erection. If they're healthy, they have nighttime erections. If they're healthy, they're already turned on because they're so testosterone dominant. But they forget that we're not. That we run with the moon cycle. Even after menopause we have days five, our five day horny window around ovulation. That makes us more interested in sex, but that we're not always like ready to go. That we need a much longer warmup. That our genital system is all the erectile tissue system, which is the same amount as our male body partners have. And oh, we're all.

Speaker 2: 24:19

Everybody's talking about men's erections. Who's talking about women's erections? I am. Women don't even realize that they are suffering from the same erectile dysfunction as their male body partners. I mean, by the time a guy is 40 and definitely 50, he's not as hard and firm as he used to be. Now you can do a lot to reverse that with this. Sexual regenerative treatments. You can do this to both the female and male genitals.

Speaker 2: 24:46

We have the same amount of erectile tissue inside us, but because it's inside us and not this kind of straight shot down the tube, if you will, it takes a while for all of the blood flow to get into the nooks and crannies, which means we just need longer to become aroused. We need more time, more full body touch, more words of encouragement and appreciation, more safety and comfort in our love making. The lover space needs to be set in a way that the sheets aren't scratchy, there's dry, fluffy towels, the lube we like is there, the lighting is good, the music is good, we've got our water, we've got our toys, we've got the things we need to surrender into our pleasure, because it's very. It's much more difficult for us to get to the surrender, into our pleasure moment, unless we have all of these on ramps to surrender.

Speaker 2: 25:44

And I think personally that the number one reason why women aren't currently aren't yet because every woman can orgasm from intercourse. They are not yet because they didn't take into account that they are going to just have a slower arousal process. And so we need all of this touch and adoration and safety and warming up and foreplay, but I don't even like the term foreplay. I really would love to eradicate that out of our lexicon.

Speaker 2: 26:21

I would like to change the semantics on this, jen. I don't like foreplay and sex because that's like oh, sex is intercourse, oh, sex is all the things. I want the yoni massage, I want the deep kissing, I want the words of adoration, I want the foot rubs, the full body touch, the back rubs, the sexy lingerie, the nice lover stuff. I need all of those things to really settle in, get out of my estrogen multitasking monkey brain and get pulled into my sensation with my partner. And I need the heart connection from my partner. And that's why my brand, my flavor of sex ed, is heart connected. Passionate love making techniques, bedroom communication skills, because I think those are. That's what's missing in our world. And you had mentioned porn. You wanted to talk a little bit about that.

Speaker 1: 27:24

Oh, definitely definitely.

Speaker 2: 27:25

I'd love to hear your opinion about it and I feel like it's definitely ruining sex for women, but you tell me what your thoughts are on it For sure, and I'll back up just for a minute, because I think what you were just describing.

Speaker 1: 27:37

I love to talk about intention and doing things on purpose, and I think the type of experience you're describing is just that is, creating an experience out of sex and intimacy, rather than just having it be this thing that you accidentally do because you're both in the same place at the same time and whatever. So I love that concept of creating an intentional experience in a partnered space where you're both sharing that connection and both going into it with a certain intention. As far as porn goes, though and we could probably do a whole episode just on this, but I would love to get your feedback on this but I feel like a porn seems to have become the primary source of sex education, and I'm a mother of teenagers, so I'm very fearful that this is where most of these kids are getting their education at this point. So, again, I'm kind of intentional on making sure I, at least in my household, that that's not the case, but certainly I think that's where most of it is coming from.

Speaker 1: 28:51

I was also, I will say, on a personal. I was married to my high school sweetheart for 17 years and the dating scene was a little different when I came out of that marriage and it became increasingly apparent that most men are getting their sex from pornography and I think the unfortunate thing about that there's a multitude of them, but from a woman's standpoint is I think that has turned a lot of women into actresses and performance artists, where they're performing to the expectation of what men have witnessed in these types of films. So I'd love to get your feedback on that.

Speaker 2: 29:39

Yeah, this is my comment will be a generalization, because there are women who do enjoy pornography Absolutely, and this is my personal opinion. My personal opinion is that I understand that pornography is there to help men masturbate because they're biologically driven to top off their semen so that they can impregnate a woman, even at any age. They're just like, made to generate future cells, replicate themselves. That being said, it really bums me out that they get so many men get so sucked into porn and then it clouds their judgment and ability to just be heart connected. Porn is typically degrading to women. It's made for men to masturbate. It sets a bad example. It has no foundation in female pleasure. It's all just a trick of the eye and fake to titillate guys. They get hooked and addicted. They've got dopamine issues there. It's just a big swirling sewage system 99% of it. There are, I'm sure, some silver linings, but what we have to deal with as women in the 21st century is a couple of things. Number one we have to understand that our men are gonna watch that shit. They're not gonna do it. They're gonna do it. They're gonna do it on their phone, in their car, when they're not around us. They're doing it, it's happening.

Speaker 2: 31:10

So all we have control over is our relationship to our lover, and what we have control over is asking for what kinds of experiences we want. And the way that I like to do that is, to every love-making date that I have, I set the tone for my appetite. I talk about something I'm in the mood for. I ask for what I want. I'm super comfortable asking for what I want. I like to try a lot of new things.

Speaker 2: 31:48

So sex with me is exciting. It's different every time, and that's because if we allow ourselves to go inside and figure out what our body wants and what's turning us on and what we're in the mood for at the time, and we can communicate that to our partner and our partner's like yeah, that sounds good, I'd like to give that to you. What I know is that most of us are in relationship with if we're lucky enough to be in relationship, we're in relationship with a male body partner. Not that I do not have a very large and fanatic gay following and some lesbian following. There is a little more quiet in the world than the gay guys are, but I'm an equal opportunity, ageless sexual educator.

Speaker 2: 32:39

But most of the people are in heterosexual monogamous relationships and what I found is that our men want to give us anything we want. They will give up their pleasure for our pleasure. They are not selfish, they are just watching porn and non-educated. So it is the onus is on us, as women, to begin to listen to and trust our bodies, because our bodies are talking to us all the time, and for us to acknowledge that we're in these 28 day cycles, acknowledge that our arousal takes 20 to 30 minutes longer than our male body partner, and we're gonna stand for our arousal ladder and what our body needs every time we have love making of any kind. We also I encourage us, as female-bodied people, to be very creative with your sexuality. I don't know what you're into right now, but I want you to know. One of the things I put together recently was something called the Sex Life Bucket List. It's at sexlifebucketlistcom and I'm gonna write that down.

Speaker 1: 33:50

So we'll remember Sex Life Bucket List.

Speaker 2: 33:54

And I created that because knowing orgasm skills and intercourse techniques and love making techniques and bedroom communication skills those are fantastic. That's the foundation. But it's this idea of my sex life is a gift that keeps giving to me my whole life and I want to do new things and try new things all the time, because that new relationship energy is generated by the novelty and variety of trying new things. I wanna bust out of the grab a boob and stick it in. We're going on his timetable.

Speaker 2: 34:30

I never get aroused, so I don't wanna have sex with him anymore, because sex is always intercourse. I want it to be more like okay, what do you want from your sex life right now? A, B or C from these 48 ideas? If you go to Sex Life Bucket List, what I created was a downloadable PDF with 48 erotic play dates on it, and it's free, and it will lead you to many of my other free things as well as paid things. You never should get anything from me. It's available for you. I'm not here to push anybody into buying a thing for me. I do great, so I just offer a lot of free things because I want to meet people where they are. And with the Sex Life Bucket List, I've given you a 40 minute guided video. That's kind of a. It's your first erotic play date where, if you have a partner, you don't have to have a partner. You can just do this yourself. There's plenty of solo practices in this thing, but you can sit with your partner, if you have one, and watch the video. You each have your print out. You've printed it out on your home computer and you circle A, B or C for each of the 48 erotic play dates. A is it's definitely going on my bucket list. B is it's not for me, but if you, my partner, wanted to do it, I would totally do it with you. C is it's not for me right now. It may be in the future.

Speaker 2: 35:45

Our tastes change as we mature. My sex I had my 20s different than my 30s, different than my 40s it keeps building because you keep getting better. You have more experiences. Experience makes you confident confident to try many things. So the really fun thing about it is that when you get your A-lists and you kind of merge them, you have a lot of fun new things to try which moves you from sex is foreplay and intercourse to oh my God. Sex is mutual masturbation with toys. Sex is yonian lingam massage. Sex is role play. Sex is new positions. Sex is positions in new locations. It's maybe a little restraint or blindfolds or a sexy photo shoot or videotaping us making love so we can look at it later.

Speaker 2: 36:33

You know there's I've got 48 different really fun ideas, and I think that one of the ways that you cross the gasm chasm is learning what your body wants in the moment and feeling confident to express it, and I use a technique called the sexual soulmate pack to teach you how to do that, especially if you have a partner who's like I know what I'm doing, you're not to tell me, or you know, or they collapse emotionally the minute you give them one little feedback thing. So you just shut up because it's worse when they have, you know, like a little shit fit in the middle of sex. You don't want that and that's what women are always afraid of. Oh God, you know, it just really takes it so hard and it's like because that's because he wants to please you so much. So I have this ninja technique which helps women get their guys to love the feedback. So once you, that's the sexual soulmate pack, and I'm making a note, it's at sexual soulmate packcom P-A-C-T like an agreement. That's a really important part of crossing the gasm chasm. So it's taking the emphasis off of intercourse, learning how to be multi-orgasmic through lots of different types of stimulation, including one of the things I call orgasmic cross training, where you have these five different types of tools, sex toys that you use in your solo practice to awaken new neural pathways throughout the yoni, the vulva, Instead of it all just being focused on the tip of the clitoris, Because the tip of the clitoris is the ice, it's an iceberg. That's the tip above the surface of the water, but the icebergs below the surface of the water. So you've got to activate all that tissue inside, not inside the vagina, but like the labia, the inner and outer labia, the mons, the g-spot, the perineals. There's so many areas that can be activated. So, being confident to ask for what you need, activating more tissue so that everything feels good, working on your blood flow to your yoni.

Speaker 2: 38:34

I want to talk about some of the sexual regenerative things that women need to do once they hit 40 and above and help their male body partners do it too, so your genitals can go the distance, so you have ageless sexuality, which is parking like that for the very end, if you're OK with that, Just to make sure people are like OK, right now sex hurts or right now I'm just like my orgasm just doesn't, I can't achieve it, I can't get that. There's some things, there's some really simple fixes for that. And then the communication piece. So, communication, variety and novelty, setting the lover space, trying a lot of new things so that you become much more comfortable and facile. So it's not just like you've given up on it, Mindset, oh, all women can orgasm.

Speaker 2: 39:20

I'm doing it Like I'm committed to crossing the orgasm-casm. I thought it was me and now Susan Bratton told me it's not me and I can do it. I'm doing it Like I think that's number one. So many women just put up with very mediocre experiences. So that's, I think, a really important part of it too.

Speaker 1: 39:43

Oh, definitely, definitely. Can you explain the difference between libido, desire and arousal?

Speaker 2: 39:50

Yeah, I basically think about it as three interlocking circles, those three interlocking kind of like the Olympic logo. That's the.

Speaker 2: 39:58

Olympic logo of sex For the win, for the gold. And libido is your body's kind of horniness and that's based on your health. So your health and your libido are two sides of the same coin. If you don't feel well, you don't have a libido. If you're good, if your gut is solid, if you're getting good exercise and movement, if you're eating well, you're going to be horny. A lot of women say, oh, my hormones are low, I just don't want you sex. And I'm like what if I told you it's probably not your hormones. Like sure, put some estrogen in your vagina to thicken it up a little so it's not so sensitive. Take some testosterone and rub it on your clitoris and your labia. It'll bloom them a little bit and it'll sexal feel even better. That's great. That's real problem at all. Have your progesterone to balance it all out Awesome. You can even do intravaginal oxytocin. I mean that'll really make your vulgar. It's like brrrrl lush. But it's really your health. But it's the other two pieces, the desire. So that's the other circle.

Speaker 2: 41:10

The desire is how do you feel about yourself? Are you self-flagellating because you've got some cellulite or a poochie tummy or a saggy ass Like, come on, who cares? We live in a skin sack. You take good care of it. It is what it is. That should not hold you back from having fabulously orgasmic, heart-connected experiences. The human body is just the external entity I mean. Sex is really about the heart, connection and pleasure you co-create. That's what it is. It's the ecstatic bliss of deep intimacy, and you can do that with any shape body. So don't think that you need to have some perfect thing to have hot sex. You can have hot sex right where you are right now, with whatever you have. That's desire and desire is also do.

Speaker 2: 42:04

I desire my part? Because for a lot of us women, our partners, they've got a fat gut, their toes look like shrek, they got hair sticking out of their ears and their nose. They don't shave, they stink. They haven't changed. They've got crap on their shirt, I mean. And I got to go back to pot belly. I friggin' hate a pot belly. If my husband starts getting a little belly, I start whacking it with the back of my hand like that's got to go. I am so serious about keeping my man live and nimble and flexible. He drives me crazy when we like slip and eat too much and we put on a few pounds and I'm like Well, and that belly fat produces more estrogen and degrades testosterone production too, doesn't it?

Speaker 2: 42:49

Yes, it does. You end up living with your grandpa or your grandma when their testosterone drops from all that belly fat and they're not getting any exercise and they're not lifting any weights. Oh, you're living with grandma. I don't want to have sex with grandma. I need, I don't even want to have sex with grandpa. I want to have sex with daddy. You know, hot dad, daddy. I want the hot daddy. That's what I like. I like a daddy.

Speaker 2: 43:14

So I think it's really important for us, as women too, that we have to keep our eye on our men's health. They don't do a great job of it, most of them. So you know, we're doctor, mom, we're on top of it all. So desire is due to desire in your partner. Is he sexy or do they stink and gross you out every time he walks in the room? Like you got to get on him for that crap? Because if you don't say, dude, there's no way I'm going to have sex with you. If you're wafting, stink every time you walk through my room, come on, dude, you got to live with me. You need to say I look good, what are you doing? Step it up to attract me. You know that's important for us. And if they're pissing you off outside the bedroom, you're not going to want to have orgasms inside the bedroom.

Speaker 2: 43:55

So you've got to have remember when I was telling you that understanding what my partner wanted and him understanding what I wanted in our relationship was one of the three things that helped me cross the gasm chasm. I said one was our expanded orgasm practice. One was being willing to be totally honest with each other about everything, like saying what needs to be said. You have to. We are so culturally acclimatized to walking on eggshells, withholding especially women, subjugating our own needs.

Speaker 2: 44:30

You can't come hard if you're pissed off at your partner. It's just, I mean, unless you're dissociating, which is a whole nother form of head game that's keeping you from having the orgasmic bliss with your partner that you want when you have. And then, lastly, it's arousal. And I want to come back to arousal because if I leave your listeners with any other thing besides, you can have orgasms from penetration. If you just do these things, you know it's that we have to give ourselves time for our arousal, and I want to talk about what that looks like in a bit of detail if you're willing to go there with me.

Speaker 2: 45:14

I don't know how we are on time and where you want to go. I can always come back and we can do like literally a dive into arousal, but whatever is good for you. But the last thing I would say is that if you aren't committed to having honesty with your partner in all things, that's just. I mean, like everything starts with everything starts with communication and it starts with standing for yourself and what your needs are and what you need out of your relationship. And so, as women, we give up so much of ourselves to please others, when in reality, that's just basic codependency and when we recognize that we must be honest with our needs and when we are, we're easier to love, not harder to love. We're easier to love because that lover of ours knows what we want and how to make us happy.

Speaker 2: 46:11

If we don't tell them and they're guessing they're treating us the way they want to be treated, which is like why are you grabbing my butt all the time? Well, because he wants you to grab his package? Oh, okay, cause grabbing my butt isn't really doing anything for me. Or grabbing my boobs isn't doing anything for me. Like, grabbing my boobs is like a level three type of thing.

Speaker 2: 46:28

It's not where you start with a one, right, let's see but grabbing his package, you start there with a guy, that's what he needs us. He's like ah, that's what I needed. I needed a hand on my man hammer. You know they just need that. They need that to calm down and know everything's gonna be okay, they're gonna have a good time. So that's desire. Desire goes both ways. How do you feel about yourself? Are you desirable and do you desire your partner? And if you don't, what's in the way of having it?

Speaker 1: 46:58

Did you know that 99% of the molecules in your body are water and the quality of that water determines the quality of your life? Water is so much more than just its molecular structure of hydrogen and oxygen. Water is life, and the energetic properties of water are some of the most overlooked and misunderstood principles in the understanding of life. Water is much like a radio receiver. Adjusting the crystalline structure of the water, it can be balanced to receive the optimum spectrum of electromagnetic frequencies. Quantum physics is very clear on the fact that everything in the universe is interconnected. Our ability to perceive the information coming to us is crucial for creating the highest possible level of life for ourselves and our planet. Since 99% of our molecules are water, our ability to perceive must lie in the water itself. The crystalline structure that the anilema water wand creates in the water enables your body to become a better radio receiver. It opens up the pathways to make your body more conscious, more connected, more in tune with the harmonic rhythms of nature. Anilema has been shown to increase cellular energy, revitalize the immune system, boost anti-inflammatory pathways and improve gut health. The anilema wand brings the water we drink into a state of coherence. Holistic health exists in a paradigm outside of the limiting confines of allopathic Western medicine. When we consider the subtle energy system of the body, we begin to see that reversing states of dis-ease is simply about following the laws of nature and giving the body the resources it requires so it can return to a state of homeostasis. Anilema water is a simple tool in that path back to balance. Coherence equals consciousness. That's why we call anilema water conscious water. Grab your own anilema water wand by visiting the Jen's Favorite Things tab at genmayocom and use code GEN10 for 10% off your purchase.

Speaker 1: 49:06

Right, that makes a lot of sense. There's this statistic I came across that testosterone levels have dropped 50% in the last 40 years, which is appalling for so many reasons, even outside of sex. I think that kind of gives us a snapshot of what's going on in terms of overall health in our lives as well, and how much more challenging it is to cultivate good health and a good, healthy sexual health as well. I think most people know that nutrition is important. That's usually kind of a starting place, but the amount of toxic chemical exposures that we're exposed to on a daily basis, as well as what we internalize in terms of how our relational alchemy is creating chemistry in our bodies as well as, really Well said, creating this environment where we have to work a lot harder. Perhaps I know there's this concept of regenerative medicine in sexual health. Can you tell us a little bit about things that people can be doing to kind of stay ahead of that curve that we're fighting against in terms of the toxic load and things that are working against us?

Speaker 2: 50:37

Yeah, I wish we had one of those little sound boards, like they used to have on radio stations, where you could press that button that sounds like where the Calvary's coming in to rescue you, dr Ro.

Speaker 1: 50:49

You know, like that got it. Maybe we'll add that in. We'll add that in.

Speaker 2: 50:53

I need to press that button. Yeah, sexual regenerative therapies for the win. Basically, what happens as we age is that definitely our hormones diminish and we can use exogenous hormone replacement therapy, which I do and love, I love my. I would not give up my. I mean it's like the last thing. You could take everything away from me except my hormones, Like I love them so much.

Speaker 2: 51:21

So I really love that. And then for our genital system. If you think about it, we're basically just big sponges. We have big sponges between our legs and the. It's easy to see the guy's sponge. It looks like a banana sticking out of there, right? It's all stuck inside his penis as a sponge and actually that's only half of it. The other half of his penis goes in and down toward his testicle. So he's got double that amount of erectile tissue. So if you think, about a banana.

Speaker 2: 51:47

That's how much erectile tissue is in a penis. Well, we women have the same amount of erectile tissue as our men. So you're thinking about that banana? Yes, wow, think about that banana and now make it into a circle and stick it underneath the skin of your vulva, around your vagina. We have three erectile tissue systems we have the clitoral, we have the perineal and we have the urethral.

Speaker 2: 52:13

So we currently think about the clitoris as this little tiny nub and we currently think about the G spot as this little spot, and we don't even know about the perineal sponge. That's like, invisible to us and in actual fact, the clitoris being the tip of the iceberg, it has a shaft, it has a tip, a shaft, just a little mini penis. We have a little mini penis, we have. It has little arms called Chora, little legs called vestibular bulbs that are draping around our labia, that's they're under our labia. That's the rest of the clitoris is there, and then the G spot is actually right in. If you open your little labia, like their little doors, welcome to the inter-sanction Sanctum that's called the vestibule, and inside the vestibule is the beginning of our G spot. It wraps around the exit where our urine comes out, like a little rosebud and it goes in and up toward our bladder and you can also access it inside the vagina, on the roof of the vagina. And then inside the vagina on the floor of the vagina is our perineal sponge. So literally one of the reasons it's actually super easy to cross the gasm chasm when you get enough blood flow. That's what you need. You need 20 good minutes of loving foreplay turn on adoration, words of encouragement, yoni, massaging, spandora, gasm using vibrators, whatever you want to do to get it all going. And that gives us our blood flow in.

Speaker 2: 53:45

But what happens as we age is that tissue starts to atrophy, like wrinkles on your face. It's similar to your vulva and penis. It's shrinking. Everything is collapsing. There's less collagen, there's less innervation, there's less blood flow, there's less everything. We're receding as we age and so that attacks our genitals as well. The aging does with atrophy, which means that we have loss of lubrication, we have loss of orgasmic response.

Speaker 2: 54:15

Literally, orgasms don't feel as good as they used to without using these sexual regenerative therapies. So for women, we have incontinence. Men have nighttime urination, issues from prostate enlargement. They have delayed ejaculation. They have to pump away with way more friction than should be necessary, squeezing and stroking really hard because they can't quite get there. We can't quite get there. It takes us forever to get to our climax. It's like we're almost there, almost there, almost there, almost there, we can't get there. Instead of being this multi-orgasmic fiend where we're just coming and coming and coming, which is what we can be, and then we have painful intercourse because our partners are watching porn and they think intercourse is like they think we have an inside out penis, inside us, a sheath, and we really don't. They think about it as like a birth canal, but it's not. It's like a little pocket, it's like a little stretchy pocket muscle, and so they're just going ee-er, ee-er, ee-er, and they're just wearing out our sphincter muscle. They're just wearing us out.

Speaker 1: 55:19

I wish for anybody who's listening to this and doesn't have the visuals. If you like, your hand motions while we're doing this can see that, but we'll put this on YouTube too. So if you want to see the video version, we've got that as well, and I think I need a sound mixer with my own little buttons Right. I mean they're in the bed spring.

Speaker 2: 55:37

Yeah, so you know they need to. We need to learn more intercourse techniques too. One of the things that I've done is I've done a series of explaining different ways to have intercourse that are very pleasurable for her and not just giving him the friction he needs. That's at my website, personallifemediacom. I'll make a note PLM OK, personalifemediacom. If you go to my personalifemedia and you just type in intercourse, you'll come up with all of those intercourse techniques. That's a great thing to start with. It's just to try those intercourse techniques, because you probably haven't been get, if you haven't crossed the gasm chasm or you're not just basically having orgasms the whole time, he's penetrating you, which is really what you're capable of. It's every single thing is just feeling incredible, with engorgement and the right stroke techniques.

Speaker 2: 56:33

That's very important. That's what women get thinning tissue, and so we want to thicken the tissue up. So there's incontinence, loss of blood flow, there's loss of pelvic musculature, there's a diminishment of orgasmic capacity. Oh, and cruelest cut of all, vaginal laxity, because our vaginas get bigger as the tissue shrinks when our husbands penises get smaller as their tissues shrinks. So then you're losing grip, which is a need for contraction for orgasm. So fluffing all that up. And then our men, their penises are shrinking, they're having a harder time orgasming, they're not staying, they're not getting very hard, they're not staying very hard. This is what happens to them. So here's what you do Basically.

Speaker 2: 57:21

Number one bottom line, super gorilla, ninja easy, simple, simple technique is to take a nitric oxide booster. That's why my other company is a company called the 20. I can send you some. It's called the 20 and I make a nitric oxide booster from organic fruit and vegetables, because most nitric oxide boosters are made from GMO, modified pesticide, laden beets or corn liquor or what have you. It's a travesty. You know what that crap? We're trying to detox, not retox, right? So you start with and that I'll give you the link for that. I have a special podcast link. It's it's at by flow. It's called flow F-L-O-W, by flow, now B-U-I, f-l-o-w-n-o-w, and I made a note for that one. So we'll have that in your show notes Right. Start there. Give it to your husband, take it yourself.

Speaker 2: 58:17

Your vagina is not a gland. It doesn't self lubricate. You need blood flow to get wet. So if you're no longer getting wet, you can be as turned on as you want, but if you're not wet, you just don't even feel turned on. When you're wet you're like, oh, maybe I should have some sex today. This is my so much better to be super juicy. And then that's number one. Number two is I.

Speaker 2: 58:42

For men, the next step up is to get a vacuum erection device, a penis pump, and as a woman, you want to support your guy in pumping his penis a couple times a week Because what it does is it draws. It's a little cylinder, he sticks his penis in and it suction's onto his body and it draws blood flow into his penis to continue to expand and reestablish the blood carrying capacity of his erectile tissue. So it helps him regain his firmness and hardness and it reverses the shrinkage. So I wrote a book called the Pump Guide. It's at pumpingguidecom pumpingguidecom, and that explains it and tells you what pump I recommend.

Speaker 2: 59:28

Because there is a bunch of crap on the market. You need a good if they're not expensive they're like 200 bucks and to have a nice hard penis the rest of your life for $200, that pump lasts forever. It's like a metal hand pump. I mean, it's so easy. And when you support your man and be like I want you to pump, I want you to do that a couple times a week and then when you start to see how nice his penis gets, it's amazing. What do you?

Speaker 1: 59:54

say to people who hear this sort of thing and think that sex and sexual health is just supposed to be this thing that stays naturally healthy for your whole life, and this sounds like something weird to do. I mean, if you've never heard of it before, I'm not going to lie it sounds a little bit weird. Like how do people get over the mental hurdle of there are greater things that need to be done to continue to help that be a healthy part of your life?

Speaker 2: 1:00:24

Well, we don't use sticks to brush our teeth anymore. We use oral irrigators and electronic toothbrushes and bleach, tooth bleach and all of those things. We've had all of our fillings taken out and replaced with non-metal and we've had our crowns replaced with porcelain instead of metal. That's just your teeth Look at all the things we do with our teeth To keep our teeth, our chopper's, good for our whole life. Why would you not want to keep your penis and vulva good for your whole?

Speaker 1: 1:00:56

life.

Speaker 2: 1:00:57

We live in the 21st century. Get with the program If you want to have optimal health. I'm telling you the simple things for optimal genital health. So it's not weird at all.

Speaker 2: 1:01:09

It's simply a device that takes care of the problems that you get, and it's pleasurable too, which is nice. So penis pump for a guy, and then I like something called the V fit for women. It's at vaginadevicecom and it's red light therapy inside the vagina with warmth and vibration that does kegel toning and tightening and recollegination of the vaginal mucosa. Those two things work really good. So vaginadevicecom.

Speaker 2: 1:01:36

And then you go up from there to Gaines Wave and Femi Wave and those are treatments that you go to get and they are a acoustic wave technology and by the time you're in your 60s and even in your 50s, depending on your health and lifestyle in the past, because shit catches up to you. I can't tell you how many people have come to me and they have these problems and I'm like man, you're pretty bad off. What's been happening? It's like, well, I was a really heavy drinker in my youth and it's like that ruins your health and the future. That's a huge one.

Speaker 1: 1:02:10

That is a huge one.

Speaker 2: 1:02:11

People drink a lot. I'm constantly now worrying about my drinking and I'm minimizing it and I'm trying to. You know, no drinks unless I'm with friends or socializing or I'm having like a steak dinner or whatever. Like I'm just like really careful with that stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:02:27

Well, and you touched on brain health earlier too, and I don't know if you followed Dr Eamon. He's got great stuff on brain health and he has posted so much, especially recently, on what alcohol and marijuana do to your brain, as well as the carcinogenic effects of alcohol, which I don't think most people realize when they're picking up a drink.

Speaker 2: 1:02:51

Exactly I know, it's don't let things own you, you own them.

Speaker 2: 1:02:56

And it's not easy, they are addictive. So Gaines Wave and Femi Wave just to finish it off are these treatments that use acoustic wave. They're applied externally to the body, to the penis and to the vulva, and one of the things that I love about the Gaines Wave is that you go in for your six treatments. You space it like two a week for three weeks, kind of thing, or once a week for six weeks. You can go to gainswavecom that's where you go to find out if you have a provider in your area, femiwavecom and that acoustic wave is a regenerative treatment that stimulates new tissue growth, increases the penile volume and it knocks the plaque off the penile arteries which is holding you from getting the blood flow into the penis.

Speaker 2: 1:03:43

And unless you have really bad heart disease or diabetes which ruin erectile function, gaines Wave tends to be able to reverse. It's kind of like a facelift for your dick. Really, it is like that. It's all great to go in and get lasering done on your face and do your IPLs and get your facials and blah, blah, blah Even your PRP facials and stuff, but ain't nothing Like going to a surgeon and having him lift your face and sew it back on, but you don't have. There's no surgery with Gaines.

Speaker 1: 1:04:17

Wave and.

Speaker 2: 1:04:17

Femiwave. What I'm saying is it's that effective compared to everything else you can do. It is the king and queen of keeping your genitals in great working order. I recently had Femiwaves done and I at 61, am literally more lubricated and wetter than I was even in my 20s. It's unbelievable. And though how lubricated you are isn't correlated to how aroused you are, when you are lubricated it makes you more aroused, and I'm having sex without lube right now. It's unbelievable, and I couldn't do that. My entire 50s. I had to have lube every single time.

Speaker 1: 1:04:59

I want to share this story real quick because I remember seeing an interview that Matt Lauer did of Miley Cyrus many, many years ago and I remember her saying in this interview that she thought everyone over the age of 40 was sexually dead. That's so funny and I just thought I was a silly girl.

Speaker 2: 1:05:20

Exactly no, our sexuality is a lifelong gift up there in the pantheon, with the love of family and friends, our art and beauty and spirituality and dance and music and the things that make life worth living, those beautiful things. Yeah, so Gainesway and Femiwave, really, really, if you try the vagina device, you try the pump, it's called the Whopper and those are getting you where you want to go?

Speaker 1: 1:05:48

It's called the Whopper.

Speaker 2: 1:05:49

It's called the Whopper, because guys listen. You know how women are like you can never be too rich and too thin. Guys are like you can never have a penis that's too big, so when it starts to shrink they're super bummed out.

Speaker 2: 1:06:02

And so getting them back to and even going bigger than they used to be. If they keep pumping they can actually increase their size. And for a lot of women they're like yeah, you know, I'm about five inches, I wouldn't mind six, or he's six inches, I wouldn't mind seven. I mean, you know, we like a nice tight fit. So reversing it and even taking it to the next, I kind of think about it going from sexual regenerative therapies so flow, the vagina device, the Whopper, the Femiwave, the Gaineswave, that's the stack, the biohacking stack, right, ok, but really what you're doing is you can even go beyond how you used to be. Now, more lubricated, my clitoris is even bigger than it's ever been, and size matters for women too. I mean, when we atrophy and our clitoris recedes into our body, it just doesn't get so full of blood when it's really nice and full of blood from all these treatments. And, by the way, here's a disgusting thing. I hate this, but I have the solution, so I don't feel bad telling you about it.

Speaker 1: 1:07:04

I'm not going to make you miserable without making you happy afterwards.

Speaker 2: 1:07:06

Yeah, yeah yeah, when you get old, as a woman, your outer labia begin to sag and they look like old man balls. Oh my god. You look down. You're like Jesus. Is that a scrotum down there? It's so bad. But the Femiwave pops it right back up again. That's why the V-Fit is good. The vagina device is really good, but the Femiwave is even better because all of a sudden you've got this plump, juicy, fountain-less, luscious vulva. It's so pretty and it's plump and you don't have any sagging man balls down there.

Speaker 2: 1:07:44

So, oh god, it's hard to get old, but not impossible, because you can reverse all these things. I am like a massive bio. I love regenerative therapy. I'm like coursing with PRP right now. I do PRP facelifts, I do PRP hair lifts, I do PRP in my clitoris, my husband does the P-Shot in his penis. We do all that stuff and can you explain what?

Speaker 2: 1:08:09

PRP is real quick. Yeah, prp is called platelet rich plasma and that's kind of the cherry on the sundae. So if we talk about, the ice cream is taking flow and getting your blood flowing again, and then the second scoop of ice cream is your vagina device and your whopper, and then the whipped cream is your Gaineswave and your FemiWave, and then the cherry on top is add in some PRP. It's like a booster, it's like a little accelerator, turbocharger, where they take a vial or two of your own blood from your body, they put it in a centrifuge. You can get this from the FemiWave and Gaineswave providers. They do this is what they always do and they spin your blood and they take off the white and red blood cells and you're left with something called a fibrin rich matrix of platelet rich plasma PRP and they take it and put it in a little tiny, tiny, tiny little syringe. They put lidocaine on your vulva and then they inject it into your clitoral structure and into your urethral structure, your G-spot area and into anything else that hurts, like though I had a cesarean section somewhere along the line.

Speaker 2: 1:09:21

I had torn my vaginal sphincter. The opening to my vagina had this little spot that was always a little sensitive and I've had PRP right in that spot and it solved the problem. I also had on my mons this little like divot, where I must have hit it on something, had an accident of some kind, or I had a genetic anomaly right in the top of my mons but always needed. My husband always needs to rub it before we make love. I like a vulva massage before we make love to help me get engorged, and he always has to like rub his thumb over that spot and really get it softened. It kind of has this weird like kink in it and he's been doing that for 20 years for me and I've been having PRP injected right into that and it's gotten so much better it hardly hurts at all anymore.

Speaker 2: 1:10:13

So we women, we have a Pseotomy Pseotomy's from birth, we have wounds, we have all kinds of things that need incontinence, that need extra bolstering, and the PRP, when it's injected into specific location, it actually regenerates new tissue right in that area and repairs old wounds, in addition to plumping up the whole tissue and improving it. So when you do the FemiWave and you have the addition of the, it's called an O-Shot or orgasm shot. That's kind of the branded version, but you can just ask for PRP when you have that in addition to the FemiWave. They're so synergistic because the waves are doing some tiny little micro damage that's calling to your body to heal it and make it young again, and then the PRP is like adding a little bit more of what your body sends to the area to even make that happen better. So they're very, very synergistic and that's kind of the whole, the whole stack for regenerative and biohacking.

Speaker 1: 1:11:21

Okay, okay, that's fascinating Cool right.

Speaker 2: 1:11:24

It's amazing how much there is that you can do.

Speaker 1: 1:11:26

Oh yeah, totally, totally. I think that is great advice for people who are moving into their 40s, 50s and 60s and beyond. I did wanna leave a little bit for our younger audience, because I feel like women like yourself and I have a lot of wisdom to lend to the younger generations. Can you talk a little bit about hormonal birth control, because I like to talk about it as being chemical castration that's what I prefer to call it.

Speaker 2: 1:12:00

Yeah for sure. Yeah, I have a 25 year old daughter and she's just the most beautiful, kind, lovely girl and a woman, young woman. And when she was younger I said she said I wanna go on birth control, I wanna get the pill, and I was like I don't want you to, babe. I just think it's a really bad idea. It's going to mess up your own hormones. It's going to. It has all kinds of downstream effects In the long run.

Speaker 2: 1:12:30

I ended up having to get my gallbladder out because I had calcium stones, which my gallbladder doctor I think they have a name Colis Colis, something or other he was like yeah, this is what we see in women that have taken the pill for many years is that it's not reversible. I can't fix your gallbladder, I have to take it out. Now I have fat emulsion issues, you know, for the rest of my life. I mean you need your organs. So it makes you pick partners that don't appeal to you. Ultimately it messes up your own cycle. It's just, it's a panacea. That's too good to be true. I don't recommend it at all.

Speaker 2: 1:13:07

What I recommend are two things for contraceptives. The first I recommend is a like a basal metabolic, not a basal metabolic. A basal temperature tracker like the Daisy is a really good one, daysy, and they call it fertility awareness. They make it quote unquote for you to tell when you're in your fertile window so you can conceive. But when you're in your fertile window you can conceive. So that's when you abstain from ejaculatory intercourse. You know you have oral pleasure or you use your toys and do mutual masturbation or you wear a condom or a diaphragm or both. And so they're marketing as fertility awareness. But that's because it's easier than marketing contraception, because there are people who are against contraception. So it's just a marketing thing. Those fertility trackers, they work on a mobile device. They get a little thermometer, it sends a Bluetooth signal. It does crowdsourcing of your fertility against all of the other people who are on the device, which is thousands, if not probably a million by now. So it's very good at predicting when you could get pregnant, so you can manage to that.

Speaker 2: 1:14:18

And then the second thing that I recommend is a non-medicated IUD intrauterine device and an IUD. That's what I have my daughter do and she's been super happy with it. It's a little copper coil that goes up inside the uterus and kind of tricks the uterus into thinking that it's getting pregnant. So you still have your period, everything's normal, but you can't conceive because there's already something in there. It's more of like a mechanical, physical device than the temperature collection and it's bomb proof, like you don't even have to worry whether you're in your estrous cycle or not because it's gonna work.

Speaker 2: 1:15:00

So and I told her so don't tell any of your partners that you have it. It's none of their business. You're allowed to keep your fertility management systems to yourself and make them wear condoms unless they're going to screen in. Get all their STI tests and be completely committed and monogamous with you. Then you can rely on the IUD, but before that, guys pass STIs like crazy. They can't help it. They're just not as cautious as women and they don't bear such a big burden of it. So that's the other thing that I like to tell young women is have a lot of great sex, have a lot of partners, but make them get tested before you have unprotected sex Because, honestly, most STIs and there's over 20 STIs, most STIs are skin to skin contact and they jump the condom Like the condom really doesn't contain a lot of STIs.

Speaker 2: 1:15:58

So you really wanna be with people who are testing regularly, and if you're going to have sex with them, do that. And then what I also recommend last thing for young women is all women really is because I recommend having a lot of partners so you have experience, so you have fun, so you're more body comfortable, so you gain experience. You just have a lot of wisdom from having partners. There's nothing wrong with it if that's what you wanna do and if it's not, don't do it. But if you do, then the other piece of it is that you need to go get tested very frequently and you can have two levels of sex. In your mind you can think there's level A and level B. Level A is super safe, which is you can kiss them, you can put your hands on their genitals, they can put their hands on your genitals. But no mouth to genital or genital to genital contact without STI tests would be the best, or at least minimum a condom and dental dam right or saran wrap.

Speaker 2: 1:17:06

So a lot of women are afraid to stand for their own safety around that.

Speaker 2: 1:17:11

I mean gen women are afraid to speak up. We must speak up because who knows what the long-term downstream effects are of anything you get HPV, it can give you throat cancer and uterus cancer. I mean you don't wanna get that Herpes? I mean I don't think you should if a person knows they have herpes and they know when they get herpes or that's, you don't worry about it. I mean if you know you're not gonna give it. I mean I've had herpes since I met my husband and he's never gotten them all these years because if I have an outbreak I abstain. So abstain if you have that.

Speaker 2: 1:17:50

But chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichinomyosis, syphilis, hiv, hep C get them tested for hep C. You never know where there's an intravenous drug user in your past. I mean people get that hep C stuff. People that work in medical systems get it. I mean you have to be careful. So and I like a company called stdtestscom you can order a full panel. It's very quick and it's very inexpensive. And planned parenthood they will give you free STI testing if you can't afford it. So there's almost always a planned parenthood in every major market.

Speaker 2: 1:18:27

So these are the things that when you begin to get, practice makes perfect the first time you have your talks with your partner, you know like, hey, I'm interested in going further than just hands and kissing, but I need you to get STI tests and this is what I want you to get tested for, and I'll get tested too. Or I just had tests and I haven't been with anybody, but I need you to. When you do that and you act like a grown ass person, then they step up and act like a grown ass person and you're doing good. It's karma. You're doing good for humanity by training people to have standards. So getting shit-faced and having unprotected sex is a really bad idea all the time. You need to keep your wits about you and be mature in your approach to expanding your sexuality. And if someone can't wait to have sex with you and they're willing to put you at risk, you don't wanna have sex with them anyway, screw them get them to the curb, move on.

Speaker 2: 1:19:24

You can get laid from a million people, so it's not worth it. Just be more choosy and careful with your body, protect yourself and stand for your safety.

Speaker 1: 1:19:35

Yeah, and I do think there's. You know, we mentioned quantum, the quantum realm of things, earlier. I do think there is a energetic and emotional components, you know, when we're talking about the mind-body space of the expression of diseases. And I do think that when people are not protecting themselves emotionally and energetically, they are more susceptible to those sorts of things. Well said 100%.

Speaker 2: 1:20:02

Yeah, so for you give such good advice and you have such a kind heart. Thank you, and you're so nurturing.

Speaker 1: 1:20:10

Thank you thank you. Yeah, no, I appreciate all of the information you provided. We will probably have to have you back on again so that we can expand a little bit more on a few of these topics and go a little bit deeper, but it has been such a pleasure having you on.

Speaker 1: 1:20:27

I will include all of the links that you mentioned, and probably a few more in our show notes so that our listeners can very easily access some of those resources. But, in conclusion, is there anything that we didn't really hit on during our conversation thus far that you think is really important that our listeners should know about?

Speaker 2: 1:20:49

One of the things I can do is I can Betterlovercom, which is my video website, betterlovercom.

Speaker 1: 1:20:55

Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:20:56

There's, and there's a search box at the top how to have a safe sex talk, when to have a safe sex talk, what STI tests to get. It's all right there, and there's notes under each video, so if you don't even want to watch the video, you just want to get the info, it's there. So that's super helpful. And there's even a little thing you can print out and stick in your purse or your wallet so you have the list. So it makes it really easy. That was one last thing, and then follow me on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 1:21:21

You can just slip it out and read it when you've got.

Speaker 2: 1:21:24

Yeah, just Could you stop For a minute we've got to check these boxes off first. Yeah, that's right. That's what you need to do. That's how you stand for your own safety. Yeah, absolutely. Follow me on Instagram at Susan Bratton. I'd love to come back and talk more about actual like love-making techniques. Some of the things that I've learned that I recommend for people to have more pleasure in connection you know now that they're like okay, all right, we made it through the first Susan Bratton episode. I'll take a little more.

Speaker 1: 1:21:57

I will take yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:21:58

I always joke, Jen, that if sex were a brand, it's tagline it would be sex. There's always something more that's true, that's true.

Speaker 1: 1:22:09

You know I like to I joke, but not really that. I think most people have experienced maybe 5% of their sexual potential and there's this whole other 95% that most people don't even know is a possibility, in part because we've, you know, back to the porn thing, we've been culturally conditioned to, you know, think about sex in this tiny little box of you know. These are the possibilities when in fact you know, especially going back to that energetic realm of things, there is this whole other realm of possibility that most people are not even aware is possible.

Speaker 2: 1:22:45

Yeah, I know All the tantric bliss in the world just developing your body like honey and resonating and allowing you to touch source. You know Like, oh, that I love.

Speaker 1: 1:22:57

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, thank you so much. All right to be continued darling yes that's wonderful. You have a great time.

Speaker 2: 1:23:04

I've thoroughly enjoyed being with you. Thank you for having me. I did as well. Thank you for your intrepid willingness to help people have more pleasure in connection.

Speaker 1: 1:23:14

Hey, wait, whatever it takes, whatever it takes. So, thank you so much, susan, thank you.