Married, Money, And Medicaid - You Can Keep Almost Everything

We walk through how marriage affects Medicaid eligibility, what assets count, and how to protect savings when one spouse needs nursing home care. We clear up myths, explain the must-have documents, and show how to use the rules without going broke.

• marriage treated as one financial unit for Medicaid
• cost of nursing homes and income protections for the community spouse
• what counts as a non-countable asset in Arkansas
• why beneficiary designations outrun wills
• myths about separate accounts, prenups, and divorce
• crisis tools like Medicaid-qualifying annuities
• pre-planning with irrevocable trusts and timelines
• essential powers of attorney and health care decisions
• blended family dynamics and clear communication
• when to consult an elder law attorney and why timing matters

Call us at the office at 479-6014
For more resources, detailed show notes, and expert advice on the many facets of aging, don't forget to visit our website at www.answersonaging podcast.com
Please, please, please give us a call. Let us help you through that, and we would be honored

Information to help you answer all of your questions about aging.

Transcript

Welcome And Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Answers on Aging, the podcast dedicated to helping you navigate the complexities of growing older. Your host is Tom Whitley, a certified elder love attorney with a passion for empowering the aging community and their families. From finances and legal matters to health, long-term care, and beyond, we've got you covered because every question you have, we aim to answer. Dive into today's episode and let's uncover the truth about aging together.

Late-Life Love Meets Paperwork

Marriage Means Combined Assets

Emotions, VA Benefits, And Remarriage

Blended Families And Beneficiaries

Why Wills Don’t Beat Beneficiaries

How Medicaid Counts And Terms

Income Shifts And MMMNA

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Hey there, I'm Todd Whitley, certified over law attorney with Generation Zook Group with offices in Bentonville. Today I want to talk about one of my absolute favorite topics. These are some of my favorite clients, or those that are married, and sadly, someone needs to go to a nursing home, which in early 2026 is somewhere between$8,500 and$9,500 a month. Okay? That is devastating to most families. And most families think, most married people and single people, most people think that when you need care and you've got to go to the nursing home, you have to be broke to qualify for Medicaid. Well, that's very minimally true. Okay. There is a grain of truth there, but we can also protect a very large sum of money, and people just don't understand that. And that's what I want to talk about today. Okay. You know, it is beautiful. Okay. I love to see when people find love in their 60s, 70s, 80s, sometimes 90s. But love doesn't stop the paperwork. Okay. And it doesn't go the way you think it's going to go in long-term care. So many people think, you know, we we we just got married, I have my money, they have their money, we've kept it separate, and so therefore, if she needs to go to the nursing home, they're going to look at her money, not mine, right? Wrong. Okay. You can keep it as separate as you want to keep it, but if you're married, they're going to look at both of their assets. But don't leave. Okay. Don't stop the video and quit because even though they do look at both of your assets, the rules are very generous to allow us to protect almost all of it. I can't go through all of the details of that, but I can tell you basically how that works. And just please believe me that there are some really cool things we can do to protect almost all of the money up to even like a million bucks, sometimes 1.5 million, and get the person onto Medicaid very quickly and protect everything. Okay, so don't leave. Let's talk about emotional. So there is an emotional side of late in life marriages. Okay. Finding love later in life is wonderful, but it also brings a unique legal and financial challenge, especially with Medicaid and healthcare planning. Just because y'all two love each other doesn't mean your kids are going to love each other. Okay. And there are a lot of emotions, a lot of feelings around a parent remarrying, particularly after death or even after a divorce. I mean, there's just a lot of emotional things going on. And I will say periodically through this that I do recommend that you come see us. It's well worth the initial consult fee to come in, sit down before you get married. I am not a marriage counselor. I am not your pastor. I am your lawyer. But it is very important sometimes, particularly if one of you has VA benefits, and especially if the typically it's the wife who currently has benefits from her deceased veteran husband, we need to talk. Okay. Come in, let's let's look at it and and see what's going on. But please understand marriage cuts off your benefits from that deceased veteran. Okay. If you're divorced, you're divorced, we can't fix that, and remarrying does not affect that. But if you are a widow of a veteran and you're thinking about marrying a non-veteran, particularly who doesn't qualify for benefits, we need to talk. Okay, come in, let's sit down, let's talk and see what we can do. But even in all situations, there are some emotions, there were some issues going on with the family itself, which I can't fix. I can hopefully help explain a few things, but then particularly financially and medically, we really need to talk. So what are those unique challenges for the older couple? Okay, there is a financial complexity. Combining finances in in later years often means sorting through savings, property, benefits, and from earlier in your life with another spouse, typically. Even if you're late and you've been single and you you just married, you're now combining things. Legally, you are combining things, and it's going to be an issue. Who's going to make healthcare decisions? Typically, husband, spouses, they want their spouse to make decisions for them. However, what if you know there are issues between the kids and their stepparent? And wait a second, you're going to make the end-of-life decisions, not us as the kids, or yes, I want her to do it and not my kids. And that gets really ugly really quick. And it's something that you need to think about, and we have to put it in writing. Okay. You can't just rely on, oh, they'll be there together, and I assume they'll work it out. No, put it in writing and get it taken care of. This, you know, blended families. Adding complexity to wills and inheritances. So there a lot of times there are some unintended consequences that occur. And I'm this is not Medicaid, this is just in in general. So one thing I would recommend that if you do have a new spouse and either divorced or widow, who are the beneficiaries on your accounts, particularly that life insurance policy that you bought 40 years ago? Who's the beneficiary on that? Is it your ex-spouse? Well, if you die, when you die and you haven't changed that policy, that money's going to your ex-spouse. Bank accounts, investment accounts, are they co-owned? Or was your spouse the beneficiary? And you know, are your children listed as the beneficiary of everything that you have because you've been single up to this point and now you you're married? Do you really want at your death, do you want everything to go to the kids and leave your new spouse with nothing? Okay. And please understand, wills do not overtake beneficiary designations. You can do a will. You can go online and say, oh yeah, we need to do a will, we need to do a new will between the new spouses and say, yes, we leave everything to each other. Well, if everything's payable on death, that happens first. Whatever's left over, whatever is stuck in your name at the time of your death, that's what goes through probate, and that's what is affected by the will. And I have arguments with it. They they argue with me. I'm the one with the law degree and the license to say your will has absolutely no effect on anything because everything that you have is payable on death to these people. But my will says, I know what your will says, but the will never sees the light of day if you don't die with anything stuck in your name. Beneficiary designations happen immediately at your death. The will and the probate occur afterwards for anything that is stuck in your name. If nothing is stuck in your name, nothing's going through probate, and that will does nothing. I just argue people argue with me. They're like, well, I don't I don't think that's right. Okay. Keep thinking that. All right, back to Medicaid. So how does Medicaid view marriage? If you're married, everything owned by either spouse gets counted. Again, I said, you know, previously I said that sounds horrible, but it's it's a fact and it is kind of bad, but we can fix it. Okay, it's it's not the end of the world. Medicaid considers all married couples as one financial household. There is no such thing as his money or her money when it comes to qualifying for Medicaid. And I love this graphic that that shows all the gumballs. Yeah, you might keep them separate, but once you get married, they all flow down into this jar. Okay? They are all together in light of Medicaid. So some Medicaid terms that you need to be aware of. This sounds horrible, but it's just the Medicaid lingo. So the instant touchline spouse, that is the spouse that is either in long-term care or needing long-term care, is going to be instant touchlines. The other spouse is the community spouse, the one not in the nursing home. CSRA, that is a community spouse resource allowance, that is how much the spouse not in the nursing home, how much stuff or resources do they get to keep. There is an allowance of resources that get to go to that person. And then the minimum monthly maintenance needs allowance. And well, I said minimum. There is a maximum and there is a minimum. And so there is the needs, that's income, and it is the amount of income that the spouse not in the nursing home gets to keep. Typically, the rule is if you're on Medicaid, your income goes to the nursing home. So many times in situations with a husband and wife, the husband typically is the one who worked outside the home, made the most money, and therefore his social security is the highest. Hers is either drawing from him half of his, or she works some and she has some income, but not nearly what his is. Well, if he's the one going into the nursing home and all of his income goes to the nursing home, this leaves her at home with very little income each month. Well, Medicaid says there is a minimum monthly maintenance needs allowance that she should be to, and it's it's um mid$2,000, okay, per month. And so if she only gets eighteen hundred dollars or eight hundred dollars per month, she's she's gonna get about seventeen hundred dollars from his income each month so that she can survive. Okay. Even if one spouse never saved a dime and the other has say three hundred three hundred thousand dollars in the bank, Medicaid counts it all together when determining eligibility. How do you like that? Okay, that happens. Okay, people marry people that are broke. And they think, oh, they're broke, Medicaid's not gonna look at my money when they need nursing home care. They're just gonna see that his broke beat Hind is the one who needs care, and they're just gonna take his money. Nope, that's not how it works. Okay, don't panic. It's gonna be okay. Here's some pitfalls that I see commonly in late-in-life marriages. Number one, there is an asset imbalance. Imbalance or together, it still comes together and matters. The sudden need for long-term care. Okay. I had a case recently, they've been married six or seven months, and something happened, and the person, I think he fell off the ladder, hit his head, and now he needs care. Very quick, very sudden. It's like, ugh. And then there's the adult children and the blended family. Okay. The estate plans that you had prior to marriage, do those still reflect what you want to do now?

unknown 11:22

Okay.

Common Pitfalls And Sudden Crises

Family Dynamics And Transfers

Arkansas Rules And Countable Assets

State Differences And Strategy

Prenups, Annuities, And Trusts

Powers Of Attorney And Pre-Planning

When To Call An Elder Law Attorney

Counseling Families Through Crisis

Busting Medicaid Myths

Case Pattern And Reassurance

Key Takeaways And Tradeoffs

Use The Rules Like Tax Planning

Clear CTA And Closing

SPEAKER_01 11:22

And if not, you need to get those looked at. Here's a myth. We'll just keep things apart. Doesn't work. Separate accounts don't help. Medicaid only cares if you're married, not whose name is on the assets. Okay. If you're married, it counts. Here's some missteps that I see people take all the time. They ignore the asset rules or they don't know what those rules are. And I will tell you, I I was at the Schmeeting Center this morning doing a coffee with the pro. By the way, if you're in Northwest Arkansas, the first Thursday of each month, I am at the Schmeeting Center. The second Thursday of each month, I or someone in my office will be at Rogers Wellness. Same same thing for Schmeading. I or someone in my office will be at the Schmeeting Center the first Thursday morning from 9 until 1030, and then Rogers Wellness from 9 until 1030 every month. I was telling you, ignoring the rules. So if you're going into the nursing home and you have lots of money, the nursing home's going to say, Great, here's your bill. You're going to pay for quite some time. You're like, Well, Medicaid's out there, Medicaid's supposed to pay. Yeah, they'll pay once you ask them to pay. They're not out there looking, and it's like, oh, these people have money. They can protect some money. No one from DHS is going to come tip you on the tap you on the shoulder and say, hey, you should have applied for Medicaid. No one's going to do that. You have to seek out the advice yourself. You have to avail yourself to the rules and understand what the rules say and people who can interpret those rules for you, like me. Okay. So ignoring or just not knowing the rules and assuming you just have to pay, that's devastating. Okay. And we have to take into account the family dynamics. Okay. Not communicating plans can create stress between spouses and children. And I'll kind of cut to the chase real quick. So when we have a husband or spouses, two spouses, the spouse going into the nursing home, they have to be under$2,000. What we're going to do is we're going to allow the spouse not in the nursing home to have some money. But the rest of the money that Medicaid says has to go to the spouse in the nursing home, we use some very creative things to get the money from them to the other spouse. And that's great if you've been married 60 years. You work together, you earned it together, it's all their money. But if you've got a late in-life marriage and we are now transferring, you know, dad's money to his new wife, the kids are not going to be happy with that. Okay? They're going to be like, wait a second, that's dad's money. Why are you giving dad's money to his wife and not us kids? Well, because he's in a nursing home that's costing 9,000 bucks a month. And if we don't do that, you're just going to have to pay privately and it's going to be gone. So wouldn't you rather it go to the spouse and we can work with the spouse to then divide things between the families? So that's what I'm saying here. We can't neglect the family. I don't want to be sued. Your spouse doesn't want to be sued for stealing their money. We have to work through this and make this work. And communication is absolutely the best way to do that. Arkansas Medicaid rules say that the community spouse can keep half of the couple's resources. Okay? Now, half to some people's is great, okay? If you have$200,000 in countable assets, and when I say countable, we we pull out certain assets at the very short list. It is the home, anything that's in the home, one vehicle, and funeral. Prepaid, irrevocable funeral plans for either spouse. So we don't count the home, we don't count what's in the home, we don't count the most expensive vehicle, and we don't count any funeral plans. Everything else gets counted divided in half. And so if that number is like$200,000, the community spouse gets$100,000, the institutional spouse gets$100,000. It's his, let's say he's the one in the nursing home, it's his$100,000 that has to be spent down to below$2,000. That's the basic rules. Right off the top, so if you've been told by Betty at the Beauty Shop or someone that, oh, you're going to lose everything, that's absolutely not true. You're going to keep all of the non-countable assets and you're going to keep half of the countable assets. So right off the top, we're saving some money, but it's his portion of the money that we get creative with. I encourage you to research everything I say. So don't take just my word for it, Google it, knock yourself out. But please understand Medicaid is federal law, but each state interprets it different. Okay, so what I have said up to this point is generally true. That$2,000 amount may be different in some other states. Well, is different in some other states. But basically, what I've said up to this point is generally true across the country. But please understand if you're looking for specific Medicaid advice, you have to be looking under Arkansas. Look under the Arkansas rules to make sure that what you're Googling or Chat GPTing or whatever is under Arkansas because the rules are different. Now, what are the different plans we do before or after marriage? So you may think, oh good, we had a prenup when we got married, so therefore there's a legal document that is recognized by the courts that if we get a divorce or if I die, my assets go here and not to my spouse. Well, that's great, but Medicaid does not, do not help. Medicaid does not look at pre-marital or prenuptial agreements. They don't care. Now, one of the tools that we use, like I said, we're going to get his money all to her some way under the Medicaid rules. And we do that in a crisis with annuities. There's a very specific Medicaid qualifying annuity that you do not own right now unless you've gotten someone onto Medicaid. But if you hear annuity and think, oh, I've got annuity, so therefore I'm safe. No, it has to be a Medicaid qualifying annuity, and you do not own a Medicaid qualifying annuity, I can promise you. So in a crisis, that's how we get his money over to her. If we're pre-planning, okay, and pre-planning is five years before, we then look at some Medicaid compliant trusts. Revocable living trust does not help with Medicaid, but that's okay. But there are some irrevocable trusts that will protect your assets, but we it's ideal if we do that five years before needing care, and a lot of people wait till it's too late. You need to review wills, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations. Okay, those are things we're always going to look at, but particularly in light of needing Medicaid, eventually the power of attorney is the most important document you can do, and it needs to have very specific powers in it to make sure that we can do what we need to do in the crisis when you're in the nursing home and can't make decisions. We need an agent and we need an agent who can do stuff and do some pretty crazy stuff. So your power of attorney needs to be very comprehensive and let the agent do whatever needs to be done. And I would say, like I just said, I advise you to come see us before you get married. But even if it's after you're married, the sooner we can start planning and doing some things, the better things are going to be. Okay. Pre-planning is always better than crisis planning. So when to absolutely when to consult an elder law attorney. Number one, if you have high medical expenses, you're now needing$1,000 a month nursing home. That is a major medical cost that you're going to have to pay until we can get you qualified. And the sooner we start, the better. I would suggest coming to see us if assets are very uneven. Okay. Um, depending on your family, depending on your situation, there's going to be some things we can do to help make sure that what everybody thinks should happen will happen, even though Medicaid sees it differently. Okay, the sooner we can start, the better. And then if you think there's a potential need for care, if you see it coming, if you've been diagnosed with dementia, I really encourage come see us. And whole whole nother lecture here that I won't go into, but just quickly, just because you've been diagnosed with dementia does not mean that you can't sign documents. Okay. Like I said, there's a whole nother video on that that you can probably find in the library. But just because you've been diagnosed with dementia does not mean that you you can't sign documents. And so even if you have been diagnosed with dementia, please come see us the sooner the better. I found it interesting when I became an attorney that one of the titles attorneys have is counselor of law. I always thought that was interesting because I thought, you know, I'm not a counselor, you know, like psychological counselor. I'm I do legal stuff, okay? But that was before I did elder law. And once I got into elder law, that's basically what I do right now is I rarely go to court. I rarely sue people, I rarely do anything other than sit at my conference table and hear people's family and personal situations and counsel them as to how the law applies to that. I honestly think it's the best job in the world. I love what I do. All of my staff in my office love what they do. And it we so many times that involves the emotional side. So adult children may have concerns, more than likely. Proactive planning protects both your relationship and your family harmony. See us early so we can address this, so we can get things taken care of and let everyone know what's going on. We're not doing anything behind anyone's back, we're being completely upfront and honest with what's going on. Real quick, some myths. There's a lot of myths with Medicaid. So, not marrying is always best. Wrong. The flip side of that is, oh, you're married and one of you needs nursing home care, you should get a divorce. No, don't do that. Applying for Medicaid as a single person is worse than applying for Medicaid as a married person. I can protect almost everything if you're married. I can only protect about 50% if you're single. So knowing that says getting a divorce is really Rarely the best idea. Almost never. Stay married and just come see us and let us do our thing. Separate accounts protect assets. Wrong. Medicaid includes all, not just joint assets, but all assets owned by everyone. It all comes together. The spouse's the spouse that's not in the nursing home, their retirement is safe. Wrong. Okay. It comes into play. Now, income-wise, they do get to keep their income, but we look at their income hoping maybe we can get some income from the spouse in the nursing home so that not all of their income goes to the nursing home. Some of it can come back to the other spouse. And the idea that we can fix it later, okay? We can do some stuff later. We can do some really cool things in a crisis, but pre-planning is always better. Pre-planning is always a better option. All right. I could tell stories all day. I've been doing this for 27 years. I've I've helped thousands of families do this. People come to me all the time thinking they're going to lose everything. And many times it's the wife. She comes in, her husband has just gotten ill, and she's been told that he has to go to the nursing home. She's probably been taking care of him to her detriment for quite some time. And finally, the family, the doctors have all but stepped in and said, Look, Jane, you've got to take your husband to the nursing home. It's killing you, literally. And she is devastated. Many times it's something outside of her control. She doesn't just wake up one day and say, Okay, you're you were going to the nursing home. Many times there's some event that occurs, a stroke, a UTI, a fall from the ladder, whatever that happens that causes this transition, and it's very traumatic. And then on top of that, not only having to put your spouse into a nursing home, then they are then told by pretty much everyone that they meet, Betty at the beauty shop and so and so at church, and here and there, they're like, Oh my God, you're gonna lose everything. No, you're not. Okay. And so coming into us in an hour meeting, we go from, oh my God, we're going to lose everything, to, this is not that bad. He's he's in the nursing home, that's bad, but he's getting good care. You get to go be his husband again and not his caregiver and his cook and his maid. You get to just go be his wife again, and it's going to be okay financially. You're going to get to keep basically everything. Okay? It's just, it's absolutely the best job in the world. Some key takeaways. Medicaid treats married couples as a financial unit. Okay, please understand that. Marriage affects Medicaid eligibility and protection options. Getting a divorce is not the answer. Arkansas's rules are unique. Early planning is critical. I can do things in a crisis. I can do some amazing things, particularly for a married couple in a crisis. For a single person in crisis, I can protect about 50%. But with a married person in a crisis, I can protect almost everything. And the downside, and I don't want to get too far into the woods, but the downside is, and I think Congress knew this when they created the rules, like I said, the the the asset split, she gets half, he gets half, we get his half to her. Well, that's great to get him onto Medicaid. But now she's aging. When she needs nursing home care, it's like getting a single person onto Medicaid, and I can only protect half. So yes, we can protect everything and get him onto Medicaid. But then when she needs care, we're going to lose half. And with pre-planning, I can make her losing half cut that down to 20% maybe. Okay, but that's in pre-planning, five years beforehand. So it it's just one of the please come see us early. So we can protect a very large portion up to about a million bucks. Okay. The rules do limit us doing unlimited planning, but sometimes, depending on age, we can get from a million up to maybe 1.5 million and protect those assets and get the spouse on to Medicaid. I would love to talk to you about this. And if you are looking at long-term care, if you know someone who is paying privately for long-term care and they are married, please have them call us. Okay. We can definitely talk about this and look at it and see are the Medicaid rules there available to protect this person? It's not that we're taking advantage of the system, we're utilizing the rules that are there. Just like when you go to a CPA and get them to put in all of your tax deductions, you can pay the full tax rate if you want to, but most of us have a CPA work our system so that, hey, mortgage, that gets deducted. Church contributions, that gets deducted. We can go in and decrease our tax bill, and that scene is perfectly fine and honestly prudent planning. The same thing applies to Medicaid. The Medicaid rules are there to say, hey, we'll be glad to pay for your care if you arrange your assets certain ways. Okay, so we're not milking the system, we're not taking advantage, we're simply using their rules to get you the care that you need without going broke. Thank you for joining us today. Call us at the office at 479-6014. We would be honored to work with you. Bring in all of your financial information, bring in all your stuff, bring in that prenuptial, bring in, bring in everything. And particularly if if you're thinking about getting married and you're north of 60, please give us a call. But if you are married and someone needs nursing home care, please, please, please give us a call. Let us help you through that, and we would be honored. Okay. Thank you very much, and I will see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

And that's a wrap for today's episode of Answers on Aging. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovery and understanding. For more resources, detailed show notes, and expert advice on the many facets of aging, don't forget to visit our website at www.answersonaging podcast.com. Remember, growing older might be inevitable, but doing it with grace, knowledge, and empowerment is a choice. Until next time, stay informed and keep those questions coming.