Step into Royston Vasey's shadowy embrace as Andrew and Liam celebrate the sinister and the satirical in the League of Gentlemen's Christmas special. This isn't your typical sleigh ride; it's a journey into the black heart of comedy where the absence of canned laughter leaves a chilling echo. As we peel back the layers of narrative woven by the masterful Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, and Jeremy Dyson , expect to find the humour as dark as the winter's night and the stories as twisted as the tinsel on a forgotten tree.
Venture further into the realm of the bizarre with Matthew Parker's vampire-laced suspicions, which are sure to raise the hairs on the back of your neck even as you stifle your chuckles. The silent silhouette of Nosferatu looms over our discussion, as we draw parallels between classic horror and the peculiar tales that make this Christmas special a stocking stuffed with coal-dark laughs. Just when you feel the terror creeping in, Herlip's disconcerting presence and the cursed antics of Dr. Chinnery will remind you that even in the bleakest of narratives, there's a glint of glee waiting to be uncovered.
Whether you're a cinephile or just in it for the eggnog-infused escapism, this episode promises a festive feast of frights and funnies that will haunt you well into the new year.
#DarkComedy #LeagueOfGentlemen #Podcast #ChristmasSpecial
Step into Royston Vasey's shadowy embrace as Andrew and Liam celebrate the sinister and the satirical in the League of Gentlemen's Christmas special. This isn't your typical sleigh ride; it's a journey into the black heart of comedy where the absence of canned laughter leaves a chilling echo. As we peel back the layers of narrative woven by the masterful Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, and Jeremy Dyson , expect to find the humour as dark as the winter's night and the stories as twisted as the tinsel on a forgotten tree.
Venture further into the realm of the bizarre with Matthew Parker's vampire-laced suspicions, which are sure to raise the hairs on the back of your neck even as you stifle your chuckles. The silent silhouette of Nosferatu looms over our discussion, as we draw parallels between classic horror and the peculiar tales that make this Christmas special a stocking stuffed with coal-dark laughs. Just when you feel the terror creeping in, Herlip's disconcerting presence and the cursed antics of Dr. Chinnery will remind you that even in the bleakest of narratives, there's a glint of glee waiting to be uncovered.
Whether you're a cinephile or just in it for the eggnog-infused escapism, this episode promises a festive feast of frights and funnies that will haunt you well into the new year.
#DarkComedy #LeagueOfGentlemen #Podcast #ChristmasSpecial
Living with Maidalee. Hello and welcome to episode eight of our 12 Days of Maidley series. This is a podcast about nostalgic TV and at the moment we are doing Christmas specials and Christmas festivities. My name is Andrew and I'm joined, as ever, by the right honourable Leah Larry Christmas. I'm going to call you. Remember a woman at work, not a girl, and you got her wages because she had a similar name here. Yeah the Lynn Marlowe.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you just get each of those pay slips. But really Brad sort of breached her date of protection, probably, I would have thought so yeah, you probably wouldn't.
Speaker 1:You've got a national insurance number and stuff. I've seen it all. I've seen it all, but unfortunately not a very rich woman. So today is the League of Gentlemen Christmas special from the year 2000. Able, should we just get straight into it, leigh Roy, let's do it. Let's just get into it and let's do it now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so a few recommendations for this one, yeah, before we start.
Speaker 1:Shift in light, isn't it? Before we start, 20 blade asks us to do inside number nine, and there's a particular episode of inside number nine but one to do. We probably mentioned this in a previous episode. So we did this as like a you know, like as a because two people asked us for this and then he asked us for inside number nine. So we thought, you know, this is like a sorry sort of podcast.
Speaker 2:We're not quite giving 20 blade what he wants, but it's like Santa had ran out of the red race car he wanted, so he's blue.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah yeah, but we're all going to be returning to inside number nine because it is brilliant. Anyway, you better believe it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this was slightly odd. This, I mean, that's just really basically touch on the background. We're not with these Christmas ones, we are focusing on the special, we're not doing a big dig into the whole thing. But sorry, With these Christmas ones we're not doing a massive dig into the background. But this was part it's technically part of series two of the sitcom series uh League of Gentlemen, which is a horror comedy set in the fictional town of Royston Vasey, which I think we mentioned before is named after that's Chubby Brown's original name.
Speaker 1:Ritchie, real name, yeah, royston Vasey. But what I?
Speaker 2:found odd is like they've called it part of series two, but actually series two was shown in January and February 2000. And this wasn't on until December 2000. So there's like a 10 month gap in the series.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is. This is special, but it is. If you go on iPlayer and want to watch it, it's episode seven of the series two. But, unlike it's nothing like series two, because series two has got a laughter track as a series one, this hasn't, and they never use a laughter track in the following series after this, neither.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're kind of in this summary we'll touch on that. But yeah, I think that threw me a little bit. I think I wasn't sure if I'd seen it until you come to the last bit, but then I thought I have seen this. It's that you never leave is the title of this one. And, as with all the others, we've got the main guys. We've got Mark Gator, steve Pemberton, rhyshia Smith and the one everyone forgets, because I think he's in it occasionally, but very rarely.
Speaker 1:But Jeremy Dyson yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yeah, so this basically set. It's set on Christmas Eve, I think. I'm not sure it's certainly around Christmas time. And the way that the story is told. We've got the Reverend Bernice, who's like a kind of quite angry, scruffy looking. What's the difference between a vicar and a Reverend?
Speaker 1:One of them fronts a chart topping musical band and the other one is the Reverend now.
Speaker 2:Is it like Church of England and Catholic, or what?
Speaker 1:Anyway, your dad's a Catholic, because you should know all about these sort of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they would say the priest, the Holy Land, the.
Speaker 1:Irish road.
Speaker 2:Sorry, already we're in it Come on yeah, so Bernice is in the church and we basically we get three stories. We get three unlinked stories. They are linked to people in the village that we've met before, but they don't have any ties to each other. That the tie is Bernice in the church.
Speaker 1:So the first one we get, and arguably I think it's the only one that actually has any humour in it- yeah, well, there's bits of humour throughout it, like little bits of humour, but this is the only one that I think is intended to be an out and out comedy pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I suppose what I'm going to say. What I mean then is so there's kind of some dark humour behind a lot of it, but this is the one that made me laugh I don't think I laughed after this first story and this is Charlie and Stella Hull, who are absolutely brilliant couple. Steve Pemberton and Mark Gatiss played a couple.
Speaker 1:No he said it's Rich Hismuth in it who plays the couple.
Speaker 2:So Rich Hismuth and Gatiss, yes, sorry.
Speaker 1:No, rich Hismuth, it's the Pemberton plays. You feel that? Of course, yeah, yeah. Gatiss is not in this one. This is not Mark Gatiss. You credit him with both roles he plays neither. It's not in the whole bit, is it? No, it's like oh no.
Speaker 2:And they're basically a couple who absolutely despise each other. He's absolutely brilliant because he's often got his rather him United shirt on. It's just funny in this environment. Anyway. Do you remember these two from the series?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, these are fantastic. Rather than United actually offered Pemberton their new shirt for the new series I presume it would have been series three, but they declined.
Speaker 2:Who's going to?
Speaker 1:say contract. Yeah, they declined because they said it looks better that he's just constantly got an old one from United. And the right one yeah, but this couple, stephen Ruiz, went to an Italian restaurant in Igae and there were a couple next to him in Silesons, but when Luigi the waiter came in, they just came to life and started talking. Hey, luigi, how are you going?
Speaker 2:on Luigi.
Speaker 1:Brilliant. They're based on a real couple. So what this couple do if you've not seen it is they very rarely communicate to each other. They communicate. Tell all of them, tell them that they argue constantly yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So throughout this episode they're kind of arguing, but they're doing it through their daughter. I didn't write a name, is it Julie?
Speaker 1:Julie, I think one of the first things is shouldn't you bastard?
Speaker 2:Yeah, ask him what time is home, julie. Tell him whenever he's ready, julie.
Speaker 1:Tell him, Julie. Tell him he's rubbish in bed. Julie, Absolutely. Then it turns out Julie's not actually in the house. Yeah, Julie's at college that day anyway.
Speaker 2:So actually there's sort of star guests in this show as well. I really like Lisa Tarbuck as well, I think she's very integrated.
Speaker 2:But Lisa Tarbuck plays a Scouse character in this. Didn't make it out of a name, she's only in this one episode and apparently there's some shots of her from behind that aren't her because she could only commit to one day of filming, so there are bits in there that isn't her. But she plays a Scouse mate of Stella and Stella's talking about their relationship and how it's failed. So we've got someone to group called the solutions and they say they'll sort everything out. So Stella goes off to see this group. It's like a kind of cult in a dark room. Seems to be all the women from the village. They've all got face masks on. Quite funny cause she turns up with postman Pat one on, which made me laugh.
Speaker 2:The rest of all got like the. What'd you call the? Like the kind of hackers mask the the. Vendetta thing, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, anonymous masks A.
Speaker 2:Guy Fawkes anonymous type looking at it.
Speaker 2:So she's got a postman pattern. They tell her to take that off and basically they tell her that she needs. She needs three things A lock of his hair, a picture of him and something he uses every day. And that's what she's got to go and get to bring so off. She goes and think they have another argument. He's trying to have a shave and she's having to go him and basically get some of his hair. It's horrible pulls it out, the plug all, takes a pick of him off the wall and she's got his razor that he's looking for. So, yeah, I mean you hadn't seen this before, has you? Could you kind?
Speaker 1:of see this Never seen this?
Speaker 2:no. Did you know these were going to be short stories, or did you think this should just be one long progression?
Speaker 1:I thought this would be one long thing, cause obviously in the first two series on the league general, when you get it's sort of they're all sketches but they're all, there is an overriding story throughout it and they are connected, whereas this is not connected other than Bernice in the church. I had no idea I'd never seen this. I'm not sure why, I presume. I presume because obviously I didn't have the DVD or anything. I must have because, as you said, it makes more sense If the series ended in February. What have you said? Then I probably just missed it. And then series three came out. I didn't even know existed.
Speaker 2:So the other thing that Charlie is concerned about and this is what he's telling the Vicar is he's got a line dancing competition coming up. He's entered a line dance competition and I think it's unboxing there and he's worried about that and he keeps having a dream where I can't remember how he's. Oh yeah, so his dream kind of is the plot, isn't it?
Speaker 2:So, it's a part, yeah, yeah. So basically his dream is. The summary is it goes and does his line dancing. But this kind of ongoing cult thing that Stella's got going means they've kind of created a voodoo doll of him. So, they're jiggling it about. They set his foot on fire. It ends up falling on fire.
Speaker 1:I think his dancing is really funny. So obviously he's doing his line dancing and he's jumping around and hopping around, screaming and stuff, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and actually apparently there's a DVD extra of him for multiple angles during the line dancing, because people thought he was using a body double, but he was sort of proud to show no, that was me dancing that you can have multiple angles. It's like player cams. You know when they did that in there In his brotherhood shirt as well. So yeah, he's dancing around, he loses, stella does a slow clap and they come off stage. The trick is so they don't tell you what the payment is, the solutions, they just tell you they'll sort it out.
Speaker 2:So they've ruined this competition for him. They sabotaged him. That's what she wanted, but it turns out that the payment is, so Lisa Tarbuck is actually in on it. It turns out Stella's having an affair with Lisa Tarbuck's husband. She kills the husband with the razor that she's taken from her Lisa Tarbuck kills her husband.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Lisa Tarbuck.
Speaker 2:Plants it in Stella's hand and then she starts shouting my husband, my husband's been made, yeah. And then she gets arrested and that's it, and they think Stella's done it. It's kind of really good crime, because they've got a weapon that would be in their house. There's a reason. So yeah, and that's his nightmare. And he tells Bernice and she's kind of cut me any less interest because she just said I don't care, shut it up, she's a. We've all been lonely at Christmas. How do you think I feel it just kicks him out of the church and that's it, he goes off sobbing as well.
Speaker 1:And I think is this the scene where it shows you what happened to her mum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the first time we see that the reason she's been alone at Christmas is since she was eight, I think she said. Is we see her Santa Claus, kind of you presume it's a mum sort of grabbing a mum we don't see too much about what's going on, but you think that's a bit weird.
Speaker 1:She's screaming and so she's been alone since nine, I think. Bernice, yeah, she's worked since nine years old, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's the first sort of first part, first chapter, if you want done. That's him on his way. I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:If we do it by chapters, like I enjoyed that. I think that is definitely the funniest. This is actually going to be the second chapter. They were going to use the second, but they ended up using it first.
Speaker 2:I think probably rightly so, as a link because, like you said, this is the moment they stopped using the comedy laughter track. So I suppose you at least want to start with one with a bit of humour, because I think if they'd started particularly with the second one, perhaps would have thrown people, and obviously that's not what it comes to now.
Speaker 2:So the second one we get a homeless guy stumbles into the church to see Bernice. His name's Matthew Parker and he tells us about, basically about the character Herlip and how he came to suspect he was a vampire.
Speaker 1:I never used to like this character Herlip, but I do now. I thought before it was just too much of an innuendo to basically work as a. I thought they had miles better characters. But I thought it was really good in the film Herlip and I do, yeah, and this is like sort of different.
Speaker 2:It's absolutely repulsive, isn't it? It is horrible, yeah, yeah. So we're off to Germany, in a town called Driesburg, in 1970. And there's a choir singing and Herlip is the conductor. Steve Pembers has created him. I think originally it was just using a piece of tape to lift up his top lip. I don't know. He's kind of like it makes your skin crawl, doesn't he? Like he's got a really, really lovely character.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really creepy character, Like again in the film. I mean I'm not gonna give any spoilers where people are seeing it, I just know I've not seen many films, but this is one of the few that I've seen at the cinema and there's at the end into this like character and stuff. Like what he does at the end is horrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I was trying to place you reminded me of and I wonder whether you could make this work in terms of the canon, like with the ages work. So do you remember in a low allowed was a guy called Gruber the idea town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, René, do you remember?
Speaker 2:René. I wonder if that could be his origin story. But I'm not sure if it works for the dates, if it might do. Actually it's 1970. Yeah, it could be. This could be Gruber, I'm not sure. Yeah interesting. But yeah, there's no fact behind that, that's pure Christmas speculation. And yeah, he's kind of it's quite clever what they do, like it doesn't even really speak in innuendos, he just speaks in like open sexual references. But because it's sort of broken English, it's like, oh, maybe he's just saying the wrong words.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, what does he say to someone like oh, some of the children can turn out to be quite demouthful. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, rather than handful. But then you think like, oh, he's just got the word wrong but no, he probably hasn't, because he is kind of-.
Speaker 1:You remind a little bit that not the nine o'clock news sketch when they take the piss out to Ronny's, when two Ronny's obviously making innuendos, then the obviously nine o'clock news taking the piss out of him, just to stick it up your arse.
Speaker 2:You're actually having a lot of stuff really. Yeah, so he's looking after this choir and Matthew is a backpacker who's come to sing in. Well, I don't know if you're a backpacker, but he's travelled across from England to sing with this choir.
Speaker 1:This is set, by the way, in 1975, isn't it this story?
Speaker 2:It says night. Yeah, I've just wrote 1970s. Did I say 1970s?
Speaker 1:Yeah 1970s.
Speaker 2:yeah, the bit here, the slight carry on from the stage show. So when there's the stuff where he's got the young boy Justin, is it?
Speaker 2:Well apparently when they did that on stage that's Reese Shearsmith plays that character, but they decided for the TV show Reese looks too old, so they actually got the young boy to kind of make it more uncomfortable really. But yeah, this is the only bit, that he almost looks a little bit too old. I think they're very good at looking like different people, but they can't get away from the fact that Reese Shearsmith is probably a what would you say? Would it be a 40 year old man filming this? It's going to be 17.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's going to be 30. Yeah, I do know what you mean by that. Yeah, it looks at least like I mean best late 20s, I think, yeah.
Speaker 2:And yeah, he's come across. This day we meet Herlip's wife, or Frowl. Is it Frowl? No Frowlip, obviously.
Speaker 1:Frowlip.
Speaker 2:Frowlip Lottie is the wife and they stay with him Apparently. I picked up on it a little bit I couldn't quite remember what he's from and I canography there of where Herlip takes Matthew up the stairs and we see the silhouette and it's the Nosferatu is kind of one, yeah.
Speaker 1:Nosferatu is really famous. Obviously, again, I've not seen many films, but I've not even seen that. But everyone knows that scene. If you just type it in, that'll be the first thing you come up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like it's quite weird looking kind of long fingers come up and over yeah, yeah First time I've ever saw.
Speaker 1:That image was on the under pressure video by Queen for good enough. I think it's from the under pressure. I had Queen's Greatest Flicks too. One of the videos like is it montage of different things and that's on it. I think it's that.
Speaker 2:I wonder if they took inspiration from that and not Nosferatu, because they like it.
Speaker 1:I've never seen any of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they just got it all from thinking what's this? One, one, two, break free heat, that's the inspiration for all these films.
Speaker 1:That's the inspiration for the ladies Queen's Greatest Flicks too.
Speaker 2:Which, again, we can't confirm as facts, but we'll put it out there Other than just before sorry I'm jumping about.
Speaker 1:Barbara obviously gives the young lad a lift, don't I, Don't you? He's too wet though.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so it's Babs Cabs. I didn't quite get that. Is that Babs Cabs?
Speaker 1:Grandad or no, it's just a taxi driver, Barbara.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but is that back in the early days?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, because we're talking about the set. Yeah, so of course, not sure, but do you know they got the idea for Barbara? Obviously, you'd never get away with, you know, doing something like this now, but she's based on an actual magician that they saw who was pre-operative transsexual and all the tricks. She was sidetracked because she was just continually talking about surgery. Well, you know, I've had this done as well. She never ended up getting the tricks done and stuff. She was just going up about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because actually they're driving like a horse and cart or something. So it's.
Speaker 1:It might be that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, you've tried to get as many characters in as we can to this, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't know whether that was supposed to be some relation of Babs Carb's or. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't overthink that bit. They take him up to his bedroom really creepy. It's done like a kind of old. It's like a young kid's room, but Not it's really overcluded. It's like one of these rooms where a child died young so they just never updated it. It's just like a lost in time this sort of kid's room.
Speaker 1:This is really good. This is the sort of horror I love this like. Because this is a horror, let's be honest more than how many.
Speaker 2:It is. Yeah, it's creepy, it's sinister and I think this is quite the room itself is quite sinister. They put him in a bed it's like a bed that's far too small for him in the middle of the room. That found quite funny. Yeah, and we see, because up until now I suppose if you've seen the series you do, but if you're taking this in isolation you don't know how it was. You know is he just a nice guy, slightly calm, who you're kind of reading too much into this is the first time we see that.
Speaker 2:you know that's not the case, because he leaves Matthew and the room and then he straight to like a kind of peephole outside and he watches him get changed and we see Matthew stripped down to his pants and then we don't see anymore. The description that I read said then that Haerlip walks away hiding his erection, but I didn't notice that.
Speaker 1:I didn't notice that, to be completely honest now, but yeah.
Speaker 2:If you picked up on that, well done for watching Haerlip's groin, yeah, yeah. It's a middle of the night. Matthew gets up to open a window. Sorry, the window's blown open. He gets up, he turns around and he has a vision of Haerlip on the ceiling. That's another kind of iconic thing, but I'm not sure which one.
Speaker 1:That is, Is it, oh, what is it? Is it, oh, come on.
Speaker 2:It's a little bit exorcist, but I don't think that's what it is. I think it's a vampire film.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyway, carry on, because I'll be here all day. Go on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so and a really horrible bit there when he opens the wardrobe and it's basically it's like it's him, but like a dead body, but the eyes and mouth have been stitched up when it falls out the wardrobe. Yeah, I thought that was really dark, like really kind of genuinely creepy.
Speaker 1:I'd say this is shot fantastically. I think I mean especially for a TV show. It is shot like imagine if you saw this at the cinema, it'd be even more creepy and scary, but it is shot so well. I mean, I'm not saying you don't get these sort of things anyway. I don't know if there's that much budget that doesn't accommodate how to go on it. So I'm not sure. I've never seen anything like this.
Speaker 2:Anyway, on TV you can tell as well. I mean all of them. But I think particularly Gatis is really into his kind of horror and iconography type sort of.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, it just feels very sort of Gatis heavy a lot of this and yeah, it's brilliant. I think they've really kind of indulged themselves in that horror side of having this and it is dark and it is creepy and it's fine this must be part of the show.
Speaker 2:That these guys all look sort of quite funny in their roles. It is genuinely like God. If you'd never seen the series, well, I was gonna ask you that at the end, but it seems the right time to ask you. If you'd never seen the series and you watched this in isolation, would you even know it's a comedy, or would you just think? God, that's a really sort of dark. I don't even know what it is, just short stories, a horror thing that I've just watched.
Speaker 1:That's a really interesting one, I think. The first one, you definitely think it would accommodate this one and the last one, the next one we're gonna speak about, I mean, it is a bit tongue in cheek, I think it's a bit the last one starts off as if it's sort of because the character is funny in the series, but I find that one probably the most tragic of all of them.
Speaker 2:But we'll kind of finish on this one anyway. Yeah, wrap this one up first, we'll go on to it. Yeah, so it was all a dream. Obviously, matthew wakes up and the next morning he's singing in the choir. He's doing his bit of solo singing and he's got two punk tunes on his neck and all the rest of the choir are looking at it laughing. I couldn't quite get that bit because her lip looks really annoyed. Yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:But then when I looked at the description, somebody said the choir all affixed they could see as being bit, but her lip thinks they're laughing for other reasons. I don't know what that's implying. Are they thinking that? Does he think they think he's done something with him overnight?
Speaker 1:I'm not sure. To be honest, I didn't pick that up myself, to be completely honest. Maybe.
Speaker 2:Don't know.
Speaker 2:So he sees these bite marks in the mirror, he's obviously he's had this dream. He's starting to convince himself that her lip is a vampire. He's confirmed. When he walks past an open door and her lip is disgustingly down in a pint of red liquid, which obviously is, the implication is that's blood he goes in to see for our lip, who is her lips wife? And says to her he thinks he's a vampire and she potentially doesn't speak English. The bit where he does his. What does he say? He says fangs. And she says you're welcome. And he says ah, you do speak English, yeah, that's right. And she doesn't want anything to do with it. Do you guess the twist by now?
Speaker 1:I think I was starting to, I think at this point, yeah, because I think it's putting you one way and with it, to be honest, if it wasn't as good as these writers, maybe I wouldn't, but I did think, ah, more to the meets the eye. Yeah, I mean like I think, straight away they sort of they sort of make it too obvious what's going to happen, to the point where it's not going to happen. The complete contrast of the last Dennis we did a couple of weeks ago. Actually, like a lot of his punchlines are so obvious and they end up being so obvious. This looks like he's going to something obvious and then it's not. Like inside number nine is fantastic for it, because there's not many inside number nine's are figured out and although you know you're being led down the wrong way, you can't quite work out what's actually happening. And this is pretty similar.
Speaker 2:I wonder if there's a market for go back more like less Dennis stuff where people are expecting a twist and it is just one thing what people feel good about them when they get twists, or maybe that's a good little genre.
Speaker 1:We should like just do the most obvious stories like a full time.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, we, we come to the choir, the church again the next day and Matthew has come to expose her lip. He throws some Hollywood on his face, which Alec just sort of brushes side and asks him what he's doing.
Speaker 2:He says something like oh you have you have come to liquid all over my face Again, not in your end over some kind of yeah. And he's brought a mirror. So he holds up the mirror, expecting him There'll be no reflection. But actually the reveal is he can see himself, but when he looks over his shoulder he can't see any of the choir. Our vampires, for Alec or Lottie appears from above. She's the kind of head vampire, yeah, and yeah. He, haley, I suppose, does the honorable thing here. He sort of says run, matthew, run, and he sort of holds them off a little bit and they fight him and turn him into a vampire.
Speaker 1:So sorry for him and I thought sort of in the film was also on it. He's a really, really tragic character.
Speaker 2:Well, mr, but as well actually, where it goes up to his room the night before that To kind of try it on, and he's brought him some aftershave and again another, not in your end over. Do you have any German in you? No, would you like some? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's been eating garlic. So I think one of us has trumped.
Speaker 2:We should have made the laugh actually Just seem the wrong word, but yeah, quite funny and yeah, that's it, that's the end. So it comes back then to Matthew, who, presumably because he runs away at that point, but presumably he's because the story is how he came to suspect her Her lip was a vampire. But actually there's an argument. He was part of the reason why he is a vampire. It wasn't when he met Matthew.
Speaker 1:No, no, that's true, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he is now yeah. So, yeah, that's the second story done. I get it.
Speaker 1:Again, the three short stories that one, I actually thought, the third, I don't know what's the weakest one. Actually, I think the first one was my favourite, and two and three, I don't know, it's changeable for me.
Speaker 2:I must admit. By the way, at the end of that one I was kind of quite lost in the story and it threw me a bit when we went back to the church and I thought, oh yeah, I forgot. This is like a kind of wanted that story to carry on, really, yeah, and I know you've done with that now. Now we're back at the church.
Speaker 1:So back at the church, bernie's like, obviously, and Dr Matthew Chinnery, which is a brilliant name, by the way.
Speaker 2:Just before that we get another flashback again which reveals a little bit more of this centre. That's kind of grabbing her money. I didn't pick up on it that amount of time, exactly what was going on, if I'm honest. So it was good. When we come to it later, I don't know if you'd already no.
Speaker 1:I knew that I'm not going to get it away, but I knew the particular character in it so I did have suspicions, but I don't think I would have otherwise.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to say. Mr Chinnery comes in he says this is the vet in the series.
Speaker 1:He was brilliant because I love these catchphrase because, if you don't remember him, he just kills animals back. Yeah, a lot of the characters in this are sinister. This guy is just unbelievably unlucky. So they're like. But the first one is it like the guy's putting his dog down? He's I'm so sad to leave him and he's like stroking his own ego and he puts him to sleep. Then he comes in with the real dog. Yeah, he's put the wrong dog down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's put the wrong dog, and his catchphrase is I have rather some upsetting news. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he's, he's his tragic figure. Yeah, exactly Like you said, there's a lot of nasty characters in League of Gentlemen. This guy is trying to save these animals, but it always goes wrong and this is the tale of why, basically. So this is how he was cursed. And again it goes to a flashback. So he starts telling Bernice about the reason why he thinks he's cursed. So we go back to his great grandfather. It doesn't give you time. It's like sort of Victorian times.
Speaker 1:What I've read is 1895.
Speaker 2:So it does specifically give you time. So apologies, I didn't write that down.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And his great grandfather was the foremost vet in his field. So we see him in one of these kind of theaters that is sometimes useful, like the Christmas lectures and stuff like that Quite steep, everybody's looking down on him. He's doing an operation in the middle, he's stitching up some sort of rabbit, and everybody's kind of holding the breath and he does it. He lifts it up, he's fixed it, he's cured the rabbit, everybody's delighted and, yeah, he's clearly good at what he does. So there's a really odd looking character that we turn out is another vet called Dr Mot. 쌤ا жаликаан М hears the voice called Dr and if that's some sort of reference to something, it sounds like it should be Majolica.
Speaker 1:Not sure.
Speaker 2:So he beckers to him and he basically says to him look, you're great at what you do, we want you to become a partner. We're gonna send you off to the north of England and they send him to Royston Vaizie. So when we get there there's old versions of some of the more modern characters in playing that these characters kind of repeat in this modern village. It doesn't really focus on that, but I think is that is that where we get Babs cabs as a kind of horse and cart driver.
Speaker 1:Sorry, sorry, I think I'm jumping on there. I think this is where, yeah, this is maybe where Babs, yeah, takes, takes, matthew chinnery yeah we get, it goes in and Really weird this, it meets this kind of first.
Speaker 2:I can't remember the name. This mad guy was stuck up there. I didn't write down. I've got mr Purblind but I think he's the other one.
Speaker 1:I think he's the elderly guy is mr Purblind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there's this mad character who comes in on his bike and this is the bit that made me think I have seen this before. He comes riding around the room on a little bike with his mad air. To be fair, that did make me laugh, actually. You know, this bit is not necessarily a comedy, I did laugh at that and he basically tells him look, there's another partner, but you must leave him alone. He's a sick man. The bit I found really odd is, as he's talking, things are moving around on the desk.
Speaker 1:Yeah supernatural?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't go into that at all. No, and and yeah, he wakes up at night and there's a really weird noise. Doctor chinnery wakes up at night. Here's a really weird noise and even though he's being told to stay away from this doctor Purblind, he can't resist. He goes in to check what's going on and, basically, we, we get the story. It's done through. What do you call it? Like it? Not finger puppets, like paper versions of silhouettes? Yeah, yeah, yeah through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's quite a funny bit of a monkey having sex with an elephant in there. That's done really sort of over the top. But, yeah, we find out that basically, this, um, this monkey had sex with everything whenever it wanted. It was called top off and it was, uh, the maharaja or the, the kind of emperor equivalent. It was his favorite thing and he loved this monkey and One day it was, I think this is when it's having sex with the elephant. And it got stuck having sex with the elephant, yeah, so he went to get some Vaseline to remove it, but he actually let me say something like I actually used varuca acid, as if that's the worst thing that he could have used. So, yeah, it caused this, this monkey to lose his, his tackle, I suppose, effectively. And the Like the guy in Aladdin jasmine's dad. What is he? The Gina? No, the it's not. I don't think it's emperor. Is it because it's india?
Speaker 1:It's not Well, you might be surprised to see it. No, I've never seen Aladdin, that doesn't no, don't surprise me.
Speaker 2:Um, anyway, whatever he is, this, this guy, the does it. What's a rahamaja? But I don't sound right. Whatever it is, anyway, he curses him and he basically says any animals he touch when will will be cursed to death. And he's got this monkey, this top-off monkey. He's got his, his testicles around his neck on like a little chain and he says to Touch them, touch these balls, or something like that. Yeah, I laughed at that, I do. It says that, yeah, and even though, like he doesn't want to, he kind of feels compelled. So dr Tuneary reaches out as he does. Um, the guy sort of cheers, punches the air. The other little mad vet comes in, he's happy. Uh, dr Majolica is also there. It was all a big thing they were all in on and they basically wanted to lift the curse off this guy and to do that they needed to get somebody else to touch the monkey balls, which he's now done.
Speaker 1:For all mr Tune, right, yeah, that's why he's great, great granddad.
Speaker 2:Oh, sorry him, and any of his heirs will be cursed to Kill any animals they touch, which is I thought, that time, though, why don't you just get a different?
Speaker 1:job then that I've had to say that when he does in series three or four I don't know if he's an avert you're coming, but he does get a different job and he still ends up killing animals. He works behind a pub and he's the lens. I think that loads of donkeys die, something, something like that. I remember it anyway.
Speaker 2:Well, there's one in this word is uh, I think it's the same rabbit actually that he's fixed earlier. It's got some sort of I don't know what exactly was some sort of pressure on its brain or something. So His fix is he's going to tap it on the head with this like little pin hammer thing and he ends up popping its eyeballs out. That hit this other animal that basically kills, like a full circus of animals outside, didn't it? There's like.
Speaker 2:Yeah lions and elephants and also horses, all zebra. There's a dead zebra on the floor, yeah, yeah, it's mad dog there, yeah. So yeah, just from trying to help this one animal, yeah, it does make it really sort of tragic because he, even, even he wasn't a bad person, but certainly not like generations down the line that I still be, I did kind of genuinely feel like, oh, I feel really sorry for him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always felt sorry for him in the actual show as well. Obviously, this is grand. I was the same character. He's got that con permanent smile. I thought like sort of, yeah, I don't know nice, and apparently based on the bet of the all creatures, great as well, which I've never seen.
Speaker 2:But you know that's sort of Nice yeah, I have actually, and I bet it was the one played by Peter davidson, I would guess you think?
Speaker 2:Yeah, um yeah, it kind of it didn't make me feel like really bad. Do you know it reminded me of you? Know? You know big tangent here, did you ever? People used to call this a ghost story, but it's not a ghost story, I don't know why it ever was. Do you ever hear that story where there's a guy, a hunter, lives out in the woods? I think his wife died but he's got a baby so he has to go out at night. But he tells his dog, his faithful dog, and he just stay and look after the baby. I've got to go out. So when he comes back he sees blood all over the baby's bedsheets. The dog's got blood in its mouth, so he picks up his gun and shoots the dog dead. But then he sees the sheets scrambling about a bit and the baby crawls out of them with a dead snake that's covered in blood that the dog's just killed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, remember that I don't know why it sort of reminded me of that. I don't know why, but I like the one People used to say that's a ghost story. That's not a ghost story, Not a ghost story. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll hit you one back. Remember that one where a girl living on her own like a woman, a young woman, and she's put her hand in the bed to make sure her dog was there and dog kept licking it and she goes yeah, that's all right. So then she goes to the toilet and a dog's been splattered against ball, killed and in blood, it says. And humans can lick as well as dogs.
Speaker 2:That's the punchline.
Speaker 1:And that's the punchline. So that's Dennis Lafter Show. He's back. And what is that the end of the story then? That's the end of the story. Yeah, so obviously you know he's being a man. I mean, I think you'd be able to tell a difference if you're completely honest, but that's not. You know that's gonna ruin the story.
Speaker 2:You've tried it for yourself, haven't you? Yeah, right yourself.
Speaker 1:Anyway, carry on. We're running the last bit now, aren't?
Speaker 2:we yeah, so that's it basically. It comes back to the church and she says she's put the Christmas cheer in.
Speaker 1:She put it now Bernice, because she's like help three people. At first she's like, oh, shut up, I don't care. And then at the end she's like in really good spirits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she gives him a bit of a pep talk and says no, you're not gonna, she can do it. I believe in you. And yeah, she feels good. She's like I've actually helped people, although the Rotherham guys she just kicked out crying so you can't help them that much. But yeah. I think you're right. I think she thinks you know what? Yeah, it's time to be festive. And you think?
Speaker 1:this is in a normal show. It's gonna end on a happy note, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, despite all that darkness like oh well, at least they've kind of given it a Christmas ending. Yeah, so there's a knock on the door and, for those who don't know, there's a mad character in the series called.
Speaker 1:Papalazuru. It's a fantastic character. First time I ever saw it. He's funny and shit scary at the same time. He's funny and scary yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2:He basically just his catchphrase is hello, dave, because I'm oh, dave.
Speaker 1:Dave, do you know what this is named after? Have you seen the backstory to this? I laughed mad off at this.
Speaker 2:So the inspiration.
Speaker 1:It's just heading filled. Now the inspiration is Pemberton and Shearsmith shared a flat and one law was called Peter Papalazuru that's a real name and he would only insist on speaking to Pemberton. He'd never talk to Shearsmith. So he'd say he's seen there, he'd go around and Shearsmith'd say no, but I can speak to you, I want to speak to Steve. And that's how he came with the change Steve to Dave. Obviously He'd say every single time he'd just like say oh no, he's not in, he's Steve there, he's Peter.
Speaker 2:Papalazuru and he's this weird. There's controversy around the character because the sort of the blackface that they use for the character.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what controversy behind that. I mean, I understand that completely, but he's certainly not playing up to anything of it. I think he's just trying to be because he's a black and white minstrel. Basically that he's playing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just a mad scary character.
Speaker 1:He's wearing a bandana under his top hat, which I found very funny as well.
Speaker 2:It basically just kidnaps people and he's sort of his other catchphrase is you're my wife now and he just takes more.
Speaker 1:There's a really big first do you know who I'm running every in four episodes? He's probably one of the most famous characters. We're only in four episodes. He's in the film as well, actually well, but then.
Speaker 2:I think the tie in it. So he's come here to kidnap Bernice and does his. You're my wife now, but actually we've seen the flashback it was Papa Lazarou who was actually kidnapping her mum as well, when she was eight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, and that's how it ends. And that is how it ends. Papa Lazarou, by the way, never ages, obviously, because he was obviously just not. This is what's weird about Papa Lazarou as a character. He's obviously like a demon of some sort. Because he's the only one in the whole thing, who looks exactly the same in the scene from you know where Bernice is, mum and Bernice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he clearly knows it remembers her because he said something like it's been a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, been a long time. You know what I'm saying. If you look at the behind the scenes when they do, I think it's the first episode Papa Lazarou was in and it's really creepy watching like Cheersmith, so you know getting into the role and stuff and obviously he's got this bizarre make up on. Really, I think this character is one of the most. This is just a bizarre, brilliant character. Papa Lazarou, like I remember when I first saw it, laughing and being like God, this is just weird.
Speaker 2:It is. It is really dark and yeah, that's it. We've done with Merry Christmas, Merry.
Speaker 1:Christmas everybody. Yeah, I really, really, really enjoyed this. I've never seen it. I thought it was. It's not a comedy. Well, it is a comedy in places, but if you're going for like laugh after laugh, then you know, stick to Malcolm and Wye's or Les Dennis. But if you're after something that'll it's not like not very Christmas-like, to be completely honest. But if you're after something that's going to make you think fucking hell, I've not seen anything like that before on TV then I think this is the. This is absolutely worth a watch for anybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought it was really good. Yeah, not the sort of like I had a laugh along, though I was expecting to be honest. I was messaging you and it's saying this is not a comedy, what are we watching here? But yeah, it's really good, it's a good watch. It came out two years later on DVD, so presumably there was some some request for it. A lot of fans must have wanted it, because it didn't come out at that same time.
Speaker 2:It was released a little bit later but it's on BBC iPlayer and, yeah, I would. I would recommend it. If you've got a window of about, is it about an hour?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's an hour long, yeah, real, like I say definitely, definitely recommend it. If you want to get in the festive cheer, don't bother, but if you want something good to watch at Christmas instead of Mrs Brown's boys, then put this on.
Speaker 2:Well, we said that don't we. We've never seen it. So we jumped on a Mrs Brown's boys bandwagon, but I've never seen it. Yeah, I do a lot of things.
Speaker 1:You know, it's like I don't know. I slag X factor off. I'm not sure I've ever seen an X factor, but obviously it's the cool thing to do and you've got to, you've got to be with the cool kids, aren't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's you know, if you want, in a Christmas message from us that's probably what it is. Yeah, stick with the cool kids Living with me the way.
Speaker 1:Well, that's episode eight. Really enjoyed that. I've never seen it. It's always good to watch stuff that we've not seen before. Next one we're cheating a little bit, aren't we, in a way?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I think it's Christmas. I think we can make it work.
Speaker 1:We can make it. So what we're going to do is our favourite Christmas films. This is not something I've requested because I think I might struggle to get five Christmas films.
Speaker 2:I just think as a general rule, we kind of said we're not going to do film because there's a grey area. If there'd been shown on TV. Yeah particularly if there'd been shown on enough times.
Speaker 1:like Everyone, would pick on TV. I would have thought because yeah, then it doesn't become festive TV.
Speaker 2:So there are not sort of things that are out of the cinema that haven't been on. They've all. Anything we pick has to be on TV multiple times and yeah, I don't think we're breaking any rules. I think nostalgic TV gathering around TV at Christmas to watch whatever films are on is very much part of that. So, yeah, we're going to pick five each of our favourite Christmas films and take you through those.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you think I'm mad for being concerned about this because obviously this is your idea and I'm like you know, like surely, but I'm not really thought about it yet. But we'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes and, yeah, look forward to it in a way.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:actually see any five films that we can do. I've not started researching yet, but I'm not. I'm sure there will be. I would hope so. Yeah, what am I going to do? Say what you're going to have to pick ten, because there's a good chance I'll pick some of the favourites. So if I pick ones obvious ones you'll need backups if you've already got them. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I would like to do Home Alone, but I'm guessing that's one of the few I'm doing Home Alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you'll have to do that then.
Speaker 2:All right, you have Home Alone, and I'll pick eight others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's absolutely fine. Yeah, All right then, bud, and I will see you next time Certainly will. Bye, bye.