Living With Madeley
"Living With Madeley" is a nostalgic TV based podcast that attempts to take a humorous look at some of the most weird, wonderful and woeful moments in UK television history.
Titled "Living With Madeley" as neither host can remember a week of their lives where Richard Madeley hasn't been on their screens, join Andrew and Liam as they take you on a journey to TV past.
Living With Madeley
Series 8 Bonus Episode - Chapel St Leonards Roadshow Part 2
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It's the second part of our Chapel St Leonard roadshow where the unexpected is routine. From observing a man eat his meal at a glacial pace to singing impromptu songs amidst a sea of hen parties, our escapades are nothing short of amusing. We then transition into a lively discussion, answering listener questions about unique funeral tunes, with suggestions ranging from Enya's ethereal "Caribbean Blue" to the somber "Asleep" by The Smiths, spiced up by Real Bobby B's intriguing picks.
Our nostalgic ride doesn't end there; we take a stroll down memory lane, contemplating the name for our podcast and celebrating the humor of old-fashioned TV. Ever thought about what it would be like to appear on multiple quiz shows? Our friend J has done just that, and we share his experiences while debating the timeless appeal of sketches by Vic and Bob, and Peter Kay's enduring comedy. We also ponder the 40th anniversary of the iconic film "Threads" and the ever-evolving focus of our content, keeping you entertained with every twist and turn.
Ever heard someone claim they were Freddie Mercury's bodyguard at age 11? Our discussion on fantastical lies is as whimsical as it gets. We dream up the ultimate Top of the Pops lineup with legends like The Smiths and Prince, and debate the merits of artists like Westlife and Pink. Rounding off the episode, we dive into the intersections of music and acting careers, discuss which historical moments we'd love to witness firsthand, and plan a hypothetical celebrity dinner party hosted by none other than Richard Madeley. Join us for a blend of humor, nostalgia, and engaging stories that promise to keep you entertained from start to finish.
Living with Maidly. Living with Maidly. Living with Maidly. Maidly. Living with Maidly.
Speaker 2Hello, this is the Living with Maidly team. We're live on the roadshow. We're on a bino to Chapel St Leonard's. We are now going to move on to answering listener questions.
Speaker 3You could sound more upbeat. It sounds like we've had a terrible weekend. It's sort of like well you know.
Speaker 2No, no, no, it's been good, We've seen it all. We've seen it all honestly, we've seen it. We've seen a guy eating his tea unbelievably slowly, which doesn't sound that impressive.
Speaker 3We were watching this guy and he put a mouthful of A big shovel of food.
Speaker 2Yeah a pie in his mouth weren't him?
Speaker 3He ate a potato pie, I think it were, or something like that.
Speaker 2But then it took a minute to finish the mouthful, didn't it? Yeah? Yeah, it doesn't sound. You had to be there, you had to be there.
Speaker 3You had to be. There's a lot of things you had to be there.
Speaker 2What other thing that?
Speaker 1we saw.
Speaker 3We keep seeing the same guy, don't we like every, every place we go.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's good as well. Yeah, yeah. So we went into the car.
Speaker 3You've seen an unbelievable sorry, just unbelievable amount of hen do's as well tonight yeah, honestly, when there's grass on the pit that makes him girlfriend, get yourself a chapel. Loads, absolutely loads of stag do's.
Speaker 2I've never seen the amount of hen do's as I have tonight.
Speaker 3It's not stag do's.
Speaker 4Hen do's, stag do's are big, each to their own, anyone thinking what you're saying, get it wrong and still think that you're right. Thinking what I'm saying, we can work it out and get it straight or say, goodnight, we can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short and there's no time For fussing and fighting. My friends, I have always thought that there's a crime. So I will ask you once again Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. Why is it your way? There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can't work it out. We can't work it out right questions, right, we'll start.
Speaker 3Real bobby b said I love about real bob B. By the way, he's got Real Bobby B then he's got a trademark next to it, so he is actually the Real Bobby B. Yeah, the Real Bobby B, he said. Instead of messing around with Tufty Club nutsack because he says those boys are sensitive, what about Mildly?
Speaker 2Yeah, we did it on the spot, which I think some of it. We nicked Tufty's nutsack. He's probably right that is better, but we didn't do it, so we've gone. We are where we are.
Speaker 3Anyway, he's asked what are our funeral tunes? Carried in mid-service, curtains closed, everyone's out. I'll give you his, because he's like there's no his when he's getting carried carried. He's having Fiesta by the Poes. Yeah, alright, yeah. Then he says number two, he's put Reach S Club 7. Then he's put a shrug emoji. He says it does have a special meaning yeah and then enjoy yourself by the specials on the way out, which are really like that, like enjoy that's my favourite of his three.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's blatant. So what are you going in then, liam Carried in what are you having.
Speaker 2I'm carried in to Caribbean Blue by Enya. Oh yeah, yeah, and maybe a lot of people don't know that. Check it out.
Speaker 3I'm going to get carried in to Nessun Dormer by Pavarotti. Nice Nessun. This is the one that's hardest, you know, like mid-service the most poignant let's have it reflect on Liam Marley's life so this is probably the hardest it is the hardest one I mean, I'm stealing this from you and I don't know if you still have it here.
Game Show Dreams and Nostalgia
Speaker 2We go Asleep. Smiths yeah, by the Smiths I'm tempted with. We did a bit on the karaoke. You might have heard it already, but Don't walk away In silence. Yeah, I'm tempted with that. I'm going to sleep right now because we're kind of on the spot.
Speaker 1I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what to mess up.
Speaker 4the voice Walk in silence.
Speaker 1Don't walk away in silence.
Speaker 4See the danger, always danger, endless talking, life rebuilding.
Speaker 1Don't walk away.
Speaker 3Don't walk away, walk in silence, don't turn away.
Speaker 4In silence, your confusion away in silence, in silence your confusion my illusion. My illusion walk back, that back, it's okay. Turn front and then die.
Speaker 3Don't walk away see mid there's a couple of asleep is one of mine as well.
Speaker 2I thought you were going to say? When you said mid, why did you say that? I thought you were going to say midsummer murders no mid-service, mid-service right, mid-service murders.
Speaker 3Imagine that a brilliant detective show someone murdering someone in mid-service to have funerals, my favourite ever song. I think it's like Push, Come To Show, and I don't think you can have a favourite song because it changes, but as it stands right now it probably got on the nail by Beach Boys.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's a good choice, but I don't know if I'd have that as like a. I don't know, maybe Asleep is one of mine, but I've always, always said russell brand said, before he went mad, uh said he was going to have a sleep as his funeral song. So I always used to say if he died before me, I can't have it, because I don't want to repeat anybody's funeral sing me to sleep, like russell brand sing me to sleep, so as he stands, I'm going to got on the nose and for me, curtains out, uh, curtains closed, everyone's out.
Speaker 3I'm going to go for a song called farewell fire by boards, the Boards of Canada, which probably people most people won't have heard, but it's like it's a seven minute song, but it fades, so it like gets quieter and quieter and quieter as it goes on. I would go and if they turn it off halfway through, I'd come back in and say, like like Brent going no, no, no, leave it until the go on my way out.
Speaker 4This is the last time that I will say those words.
Speaker 2I remember the first time, the last time, the last time by Keane fair play good singer.
Speaker 3What's his name? Tom Chaplin. Matt says did you ever consider Definitely Made Like as a name for the podcast? We were talking about this earlier about the name of the podcast.
Speaker 2We sort of regret it because people think it's a podcast about richard made like yeah, I don't regret the name if you've followed our journey, but I think if you're new to what we're doing, it probably makes people think I don't really like made late. I don't want to listen to people talk about about living with Maitley, but it's the concept.
Speaker 2It works it works as a title it has always been on TV and we're doing a TV nostalgia we've talked about and I think sometimes this comes across as like a criticism of Peter Kay. We love Peter Kay, obviously. I saw him recently. He's great, but Vic and Bob do a great sketch, which is kind of what we're doing, which is remembering things. Do you remember? Do you remember?
Speaker 1who remembers?
Speaker 2who remembers old fashioned trousers?
Speaker 3yeah, so the original title we're going to be. We might have mentioned this before. We're going to be old fashioned trousers.
Speaker 2But who remembers? We should have called it who remembers in hindsight. But you know yeah, but it, but it were. I'm not like, it's not like where? Ah, we've got that wrong. I think it still works. But no, we know, definitely, madely, it's good for what it is like.
Speaker 3I think, if we did like a patreon or something like that, then we could call it definitely madely the patreon or something like that.
Speaker 2But yeah, but that that would imply even more, it was a madely based-based podcast, I think.
Speaker 3So now we Now, matt, it's clever and it works, but the answer is no, Because we and actually we've sort of fizzled away from the Maidly content.
Speaker 2We always intended to do a Maidly bit at the start, didn't we?
Speaker 3Yeah, we always used to do Maidly news at the start, but you know we might have exhausted it now. Anyway, he says are we doing anything to commemorate 40 years which I didn't realise this? 40 years since the first broadcast of Threads on the 23rd of September 2024, just before our birthday, because we're both. If people don't know this, if we've mentioned it before, I was born one day earlier than Liam.
Speaker 2Yeah, 26th 27th of September 82.
Speaker 3Yeah, so we I mean, look, it's one of my favourite ever things obviously covered it. I think it's fucking brilliant. But I don't think we've got any plans in place. Have we for the 40 year anniversary? Maybe 50 years? We'll do it.
Speaker 2Another 10 years we'll think of something we might just reshare the threads we'll drop a nuke on Sheffield, but no, for anyone who hasn't heard it, who's interested in that, we did do an episode on Threads. Go check it out if you like the thing, if you're kind of into the. The memorial, what is it? The commemoration or the anniversary of?
Speaker 3Threads we did a full episode on that.
Speaker 2We might reshare that on the day yeah, brilliant film.
Speaker 3And he also. He ends with, like his final question, which is which game show or quiz show would you most like to go on and which do you think you might win? Little thing about this is our mate, jay, who went on lots of quiz shows. I mentioned him before. He went on some of the answer and he went on national lottery live. He applied for loads and he actually applied for me and him to go and bargain on, but we never got there. But I don't want to be on TV wearing those fucking white fleeces. You know those like big red fleeces.
Speaker 2We want to buy a vase.
Speaker 3I want to buy a vase. So which game show or quiz show would you like to go on?
Speaker 2what I would love to go on is who wants to be a millionaire? I think that's such a great idea. Jasper Carrot.
Speaker 3Jasper Carrot's there. Yeah, jasper Carrot. Jasper Carrot's there, yeah, well, he's not there. Chris Tarrant's there. The concept, though, the concept, concept by Jasper, but.
Speaker 2I think that's such a.
Speaker 3We could do a Major Charles as well, couldn't we? In the background, I could be going. Is it A? What was Oasis' first single? Was it A Wonderwall B? Superstar Ha-ha.
Speaker 2Yeah, I would love to go on. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I like the 100 to 1 thing, which is a more recent one that I've seen. I've not seen this, yeah. So they ask questions of increasing difficulty to get a pool of 100 down to 1. I've sort of done some of the later questions that Jodie said to me for. Okay, then try and get this one. It's done all right. I think I'd have done all right in 100 to 1.
Speaker 3I think I'd go Crosswits with Tom O'Connor. Remember Crosswits? Yeah, it's quite hard, but oh, I'll say what I would do. I'd like you have to be a celebrity, but I'd like to do Through the Keel. Is that a?
Speaker 2quiz. But yeah, I get where you're coming from. Yeah, that was good, yeah.
Speaker 3Who lives in a house like this.
Speaker 2They have a dartboard.
Speaker 3There was always a few red herons in there, weren't there. I hear he's got a few awards for his singing. Who could this be?
Speaker 2Because the crowd, the audience knew, didn't they? Yeah, because it was not.
Speaker 3I'm going to say Barry Norman. What's his name? David? Yeah, because it would not happen if it said Barry.
Speaker 2Norman. What's his name? David Frost. He presented it, and then was it Lloyd Grossman after that.
Speaker 3Lloyd Grossman did the voiceover. Ah, and it's Keith.
Speaker 2Lemon now? Yeah, you're right, yeah, but yeah. So if they were on to something they'd say seems to me like this could be a sporting person, yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, oh, he's on to him and he's in the studio and he'll watch Old Woman's Life.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's where it was. Yeah, Not far away.
Speaker 3So I'd like to go on that. I'd like someone to do it like in your house, for instance. We'll get on to that later.
Speaker 2I'll tell you what another one I would love to have done, actually because I think I'm quite good at it Catchphr. What would I like to have done?
Speaker 3now Got to deal with Muller. Imagine there's a team with Berlin Blade H Muller. Yeah, just him attacking him right halfway through. Right, we've got a message here from what I was still going to call Chimp man.
Speaker 2Just to put it out there. Do you know his actual name?
Speaker 3He said that no, do you know his name? Chimpan Chimpan A.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 3Chimpanay, chimpanay, it's a chimpanzee, yeah I get it.
Speaker 2Yeah, chimpanay, but you never remember it.
Speaker 3No, but I said before that. He said when Anna did Bladespod that it was like replacing Mr Blobby, but basically someone good. So he's getting called Chimpman forever more now.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's fair. But to be fair, anna was very good, so yeah, you know, I mean you bring your.
Speaker 3Woke nonsense from Bladespod.
Speaker 2But you bring your loud interruptions. She didn't grab it to replace you. She had to shout over Ben sometimes.
Speaker 3She's a normal person.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, how does it? He's too normal A normal person.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, how does it? He's too normal. Too sane, right? Yeah, anyway, he says, do we not regret changing the name of the pod to Truly Madeleine D Play, which I do like?
Speaker 2See midway through. Do we regret?
Speaker 3Yeah, name of the pod Truly, madeleine D Play yeah maybe Truly Madeleine. D.
Speaker 2Play. Yeah, maybe, yeah, that could be quite good.
Speaker 3Truly madely deeply. And he also said would you ever consider reviewing the Farmyard Danger film Apaches in its entirety? We have actually done this. I'm pretty sure we've done this one, anyway, I don't remember this? Oh it is. It's when we did public information films and it's when there's credits at the end and all the credits come on and you think, oh, they're actors, they are the actual children who have died in farmyard accidents.
Speaker 2I was getting a call, so it's not counsel right. No, it's kicked back in, hang on.
Speaker 3The next question is from Nav Proper friend of the show.
Speaker 2Actually, nav Brilliant Shares everything, likes everything Genuine. Don't know him. Don't know him, matt.
Speaker 3No, I've never met Nav, but I would love to. He's great. Yeah, he said what sport do you think is best suited to having Richard Maidley as a pundit?
Speaker 2We should have probably thought about some of these before the question went. What are you thinking? He's very no, I can't believe that. I think.
Speaker 3Imagine good at tennis like saying, oh it's a great serve, great serve, great serve, great serve, fantastic serve. Like shred above the net. Would he be funny horse racing like what really fast, like sort of oh he's going around, oh he's torn he's definitely going to win it.
Speaker 2This guy's in front. Oh he's not. No, he's not won it no, he's not won it.
Speaker 3He's not won it. He didn't win it. We don't know who's won it. Fantastic race, great race, but we don't know who's won it. I don't believe in an interventionist God, but I know, darling, that you do. But, if I did, I would kneel down and ask him Not to intervene when it came to you. Well, not to touch your head your head.
Speaker 3Leave you as you are If you felt that I direct you. Direct you into my arms, into my arms. Oh, love Into my arms. Oh, love Into my arms. Oh, love Into my arms. Ryan says we all know Hulk Hogan is a bullshitter, as we do, but what is the best lie you've ever heard from a friend or a work colleague? Now, there's loads of these things. I once worked with somebody I'm not going to give his name. Well, his name was Faith. It turned out he was lying about his own name you know who I'm talking about and he'd come out with absolutely loads of shit. Like he said, like he lent a million pounds to a lord and stuff to keep him ticking out.
Speaker 2He said he had a luxury yacht as well, didn't he?
Speaker 3Yeah, he lives in a flat at Healy. We shouldn't be knocking that, but you know that's yeah. But he did have a multi-million pound yacht, didn't he? I may one saw him, steve one handcuffed to a briefcase.
Speaker 2Yeah, I remember something about that. This is how bad this is, so we're laughing at mental illness here, I feel like, because it's like a fantasy.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's troubled, isn't it? My favourite line from him was he said he was the bodyguard of Freddie Mercury, right, so he worked out his age. Freddie Mercury died in 1992. He stopped touring in 1986. So his last. It could only have been really a bodyguard in 1986, you'd have thought, because he'd like retired to his villa. This guy would have been 11 when he was Freddie Mercury's bodyguard Elite, though, wasn't he? Yeah, he would yeah this, honestly, I could do a podcast on this guy, but it's probably not fair. But that is my favourite, because people are like oh yeah, he used to bodyguard for him. He used to body in there, craig. Like did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, magic tour. Oh right, really, I was that old like Teddy's age. All right, fair enough. He walked away, worked it out, got the old calculator out 11 years old.
Speaker 2I remember a guy at school to be fair, I suppose like school age is a bit different but someone saying that they'd left them at home but they didn't want to look like they'd made a mistake so they did a wheelie all the way home as if it were like an exhibition piece on the bike. Unbelievable innit.
Speaker 3People ate that, what's it called? What's it called? That fucking Twitter site Didn't happen at the year awards, some of these things that they have on. There are obviously people taking the piss, but at the same time, I know people with that much liars that I can imagine people like thinking these things have happened. Like I mean, all kogan is a massive liar, but he's not even the top five liars that I've ever met.
Speaker 2I've not met the sort of tragedies, and we've all met these people. Of the people who can believe what they're saying, they're the hardest ones to deal with. So yeah, off the top of my head, I can't think of any great ones other than the wheelie all the way home but yeah, fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 3Carl says name your dream top of the pops line up. So for me, right, what I'd like is, obviously, I think you get like five acts on, or whatever, on top of the pops.
Speaker 2Yeah. So there's all this sort of chart stuff going on, but we're talking live acts in the studio.
Speaker 3I think the first act I'd have on is it's all in the prime. By the way, not now. The Smiths this charming man I weren't. I bet that were brilliant like these are not the best some of the parts should we do a joint five?
Speaker 2because I'm not. I'm with that. Yeah, maybe we would disagree on some, but well, I think.
Speaker 3I'm going to disagree with one of mine. What I'm going to think? You're not going to have Mike Flowers again, are you? No, no, no what I'm going to have is my number one. We're going to be God Save the.
Speaker 2Queen, let's see what else you're going to have, because I don't know if I can agree with all, do you?
Speaker 3know, when they go to a video, like they always say, oh, this is a video, yeah, yeah, right. There's two I've got in mind here. One of them is Prince. Don't they say, oh, this album is the war in America or whatever. Let's go and see. I'd like to see Prince live on top of the pops doing. Let my video choices.
Speaker 2See, I'm not sure I can agree with that one, so I might have to differ there.
Speaker 3Are you having Westlife?
Speaker 2by Backstreet Boys. I know you're taking a piss, but yeah, I might have Westlife.
Speaker 3yeah, make me feel funny, you can't have Westlife on top of the pulse because they're the most bland.
Speaker 2Pink. I might go pink. Is that a bit out there? You can have pink you can have pink.
Speaker 3Definitely which song.
Speaker 2I like the one. If someone said it's not the karaoke episode, what's the? You'd be long gone.
Speaker 3I'd stand up. I don't know what you're talking about?
Speaker 2I'd have a pink song, Is it not?
Speaker 3I'm coming up, so you better moan.
Speaker 2No, I'd go pink instead of that.
Speaker 3When it goes to the video of like sort of. You know this has just been released. I'd go for because it's my favourite ever music video. I think is those Are the Days Of Our Lives by Queen.
Speaker 2Because I think it's the saddest music video of all time. So if I'm chucking a video in there, I like Mel C and Bryan Adams.
Speaker 3A bit different to Freddie Mercury's last ever appearance.
Speaker 2Equally meaningful in there.
Speaker 3So we need more Performances. I think maybe my favourite ever Top of the Pop performance was Shakespeare's Sister doing no, no, no.
Speaker 2No, not that one.
Speaker 3Uh, I don't care if you talk about me, it's brilliant. Honestly, if you don't know what I'm about, just put in top of the pop shakespeare sister. I don't care, it's fucking brilliant.
Speaker 2So I'm gonna go now you, you might actually agree with this one, because I think like I'm not into as much of the musical scene as you are, but I'm gonna go. One we've seen together live, because we saw such a great version, was the pogues. Yep, and I'm gonna go. I'm assuming it's uh, now I'm not gonna go christmas, actually, because that's too obvious. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go rainy night in soho by the pogues. Yeah, you've seen him do a great, but if it could match the version we saw, I'd absolutely want that.
Speaker 3By the way, sorry I forgot to mention this we need a novelty song, and I think I'd probably go for Every Loser Wins by Nick Berry, which I think is a generally good song. Is that a novelty song? It is, isn't it? It comes from EastEnders, every loser wins. I don't think he would say it's a novelty song. We did it on EastEnders and the releases were that popular, yeah.
Speaker 2I don't know if I want that on my line-up, if we're playing, if I have to go on a holiday. I get what you mean, though it ties into another question question. But actors doing pop songs, erm, I mean you. You might not have heard it, you will hear it at some point. Mike Flowers, wonderwall.
Speaker 3I might have yeah, you did a version of that better, better than Mike Flowers some people say no one's heard it yet just me. I say, that probably is.
Speaker 4I said maybe. I said maybe. No one's heard it yet, just me. I say that it probably is. I said maybe. I said maybe You're going to be the one that saves me.
Speaker 1That saves me. And after all, and after all, you're my wonderwall.
Speaker 4You're my wonderwall. You're my wonderwall. I said, maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me, that saves me. You're gonna be the one that saves me, that saves me. You're gonna be the one that saves me, that saves me. You've got to be the one that saves me, that saves me, yeah.
Speaker 2Because I think that is oh, no, no, I'm going to change. Oh, because I see this In other songs. Some people might not, but Spaceman.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, you love that Don't you yeah.
Speaker 1I'm going to go that.
Speaker 2Is it. Babylon Zoo.
Speaker 3Babylon Zoo I think you've got to have a bit of hip hop in there, and I think I'd probably go for Either. It was a good day by ASQ, but you won't get away with that on Top of the Pop, so I know, by De La Soul. I know I love you better so.
Speaker 2Similar vibes, I'll go Eminem's Stan. I would love to have that live on top of pops yeah, yeah so he's going cold again.
Speaker 3It's not karaoke you know what it is, um, and then a couple more. Well, my other one, like just before, like they announced, like the top 10, I'd probably go for, I don't know, something like um, I don't know, I mean, I'm really not sure about this like, maybe I right, so I'll jump in while you're thinking out loud, iconic, I probably go spice girls wannabe.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I'm with me, but that's on there um, I'd go.
Speaker 3Uh, tears for fears. Everyone wants to rule the world. Because that's on there. I'd go Tears for Fears, everyone Wants to Rule the World. Because that's a brilliant song yeah, I'm not against that.
Speaker 2I love the intro and actually there's a version on YouTube. It's played on a steel drum, is it them? No, no it's some guy in his garden doing it and what's your number one?
Speaker 3my number one would be Go Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols, because it did get to number one, but it got cheated out of being number one because it was the Queen's Jubilee and it should have been number one, so it didn't get to number one. It sold more records, didn't get to number one though. It did Exactly.
Speaker 2This is on Jubilee Week. God save the Queen, the fascist regime. I'll go Because I don't think they ever did this live, but as a number one it seems quite fitting. Let's get Freddie and the boys in there for Bohemian Rhapsody.
Speaker 3Yeah, fair enough, fair enough. Nelson said what do you consider the best acting performance by a pop star in a TV appearance and what do you consider as the best pop star performance by an actor?
Speaker 2We chatted briefly about this earlier, didn't we? I know mine now.
Speaker 3Yours is a really good one, actually, yeah my best acting performance by a pop star is Morrissey and Brookside. If no one's seen this type in Morrissey and Brookside, he's at an airport, it's only like a fleeting scene and someone says to him I know who you are, because so do I. I love it. It's so, Morrissey.
Musical and Historical Musings
Speaker 2Which ties into when we did the Morrissey documentary, where she says oh my God, you've changed my life. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. Yeah, I didn't mean to. We've already mentioned it, nick Berry, every Loser Wins. Yeah, go Bob. That's with Shout.
Speaker 3I mean Kylie Minogue coming from oh, you're into pop stars and acting, not the other way.
Speaker 2I'm thinking actor to pop star, so Don't you like Marty McCutcheon Ah yeah, this is my moment.
Speaker 4That could be it actually this is my moment that could be it actually.
Speaker 3This is my perfect moment with you. I'm going to go Kylie Minogue with. I can't remember what the song's called.
Speaker 4Show me how I put you down. I don't know what you say. What you say in my place.
Speaker 3We're a top ten every song. We're a big one. Don't come fighting me. Kylie Minogue.
Speaker 2Oh, no, sorry, Do you know probably the correct answer there, natalie? Or come find me. No, sorry, do you know Probably the correct answer?
Speaker 3there Natalie and Brulia Torn Nah shit, I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel Can we explain to people as well, by the way, that we've been four different pubs today and we've in every single pub we've heard Brimful of Asher on the 45, genuinely this and Nickelback.
Speaker 2Well, we talked on the way driving here we were sort of laughing about the Chad Kruger Nickelback sort of thing. We've heard it everywhere, yeah and yeah, it doesn't really answer this question, does it? But we've heard it several times.
Speaker 3Have you got a pop star to actor though?
Speaker 2Pop star to actor. I find harder.
Speaker 3Yeah, it is difficult. I thought, Bowie on extras. I thought that was brilliant.
Speaker 2Yeah, I can't disagree, but he is playing himself. So but he plays himself very well.
Speaker 3Obviously a lot of films Eminem, 8 Mile but it's a film rather than a I've not seen it obviously Well, and your man Bowie in Labyrinth is fantastic. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, I might have to go with you there, because I can't think of a better example. Right Travelling we mentioned as well, by the way, didn't we Eminem in 8?
Speaker 4Mile. I've said that oh yeah, I've said that.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, it's good.
Speaker 3Not listening. Keep your ears open, mate. It's good you might miss some of the good stuff.
Speaker 2Hold on, we've just got one alive question, by the way, oh yeah, From Steve-O. If we could travel back in time to any point, where would it be and why? And this is like literally on the spot, because it's just come in now from Steve-O.
Speaker 3Probably the creation of the world.
Speaker 2Would you really want to go back that early?
Speaker 3I'd like to know how it started but then they've been if we're not allowed that because like that, basically like just is there a god and stuff like that. So we're going like quite deep with that. But if we're talking about actual eras, like what we know about, I think I'd probably go probably 60s. No, that's what he says on a peak show, jess probably back to the 90s yeah, he says jess has a peak show.
Speaker 3He's all about his back to 60s and Margo's the 1960s, because they've been like millions. You'd go back to the 90s about 30 years ago.
Speaker 2But you've got to be careful going back too far because, like, let's just see the Renaissance era, but then it's quite dirty. I'd like to see the fall of Caesar's. Yeah, I sometimes think Roman, but then when it came to Britain, obviously like the Roman Empire, obviously like collapsed.
Speaker 3I'd like to see the collapse of that. Obviously I'm like. I'm not involved in this.
Speaker 2I'm watching this rather than like being involved, so you're a viewer, not a participant. I don't want to see the rape and pillage of like people. But yeah yeah, I mean just an observer medieval England, just just to sort of see the way they lived and like think, say what I'd like to see like I mean, it's not really an era, but I'd like to see you know like some of the biggest mysteries of all time, and just see what happened ah, so like be at the the moment of I don't know like the JFK assassination.
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm there going, no fucking.
Speaker 2it wasn't Oswald. No, I saw it. It weren't him. He didn't do it. Yeah, it weren't him. Stop having a go at him. Great question, I don't actually know.
Speaker 3It's a really tough one, Matt, If anyone. By the way, if you've got your own, if you're listening to this, let us know.
Speaker 2What about when we sent the convicts to Australia? And I'm first getting off the boat. God, look at this place. What are we going to do here? Shit this is shit.
Speaker 3It's fucking doshy. It's sunny isn't it? Yeah, there's nothing going on. Yeah, it's really hard one now. There's loads of it. I think I'll go for the fall of Rome, the fall of Caesar, I think, if we're going for that, the fall of Caesar.
Speaker 2It's a very specific.
Speaker 3Well, not Caesar, just Rome and Britain.
Speaker 2No, it's a good answer. If I'm just a viewer, I'd like to go and see the old dinosaurs out in action. I don't know if I'm allowed to go back that far, but I would like to sort of see like is.
Speaker 3That's a brilliant one, actually, when whatever happened to the dinosaurs, obviously like the, oh, the moment that it went wrong when it went wrong Like what actually happened.
Speaker 2How clever were they? Yeah, were they clever, were they talking?
Speaker 3Were they doing podcasts, podcasts, we don't have.
Speaker 2Yeah, we lost Dinosaur Podcast.
Speaker 3Yeah yeah, Dinosaur Podcast, That'd be brilliant that I wonder if I could talk and do my amazing literature and stuff.
Speaker 2We'd watch T-Rex here, which has zero tops.
Speaker 3Another one is Shakespeare.
Speaker 2I'd like to see Shakespeare as a fucking fraud. Completely different talent. I would love to see the first time, because I know how stunned he was that Carl Pilkington saw Stephen Merchant, because he says absolutely like double take. I'd love to see that first time. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3I would really like to go back to actually who made Burt Backarach up. Back Outrack, not Burt Backarach.
Speaker 2Well, I can tell you, so you'd be watching me.
Speaker 3So we both think we've made. When someone backs out somewhere if you've not heard, like the last episode, we both think we've made up the nickname burnt back out rack for people who back out of things. Yeah, um, I think I made it up. You think you?
Speaker 2I'd like to go back yeah, so what you'd watch is me in my garden on the phone to us no way something me phoning you saying, but back out again nope, and you saying I'll use that.
Speaker 3You jotting that down somewhere, I think in a notepad if that happens, I'd just say well, that's what you've just seen fair enough.
Speaker 1Imagine if we went back to that about five years ago like, who made that up?
Speaker 2we're having that power and that's what you chose right, I really need to get to the bottom of this.
Speaker 3I need to get to the bottom of this. Yeah, travelling said create your ideal Bond film. He says he wants a Bond like he was going to play James Bond a villain, and who sings the theme? Singing the theme for me is Morrissey. I think he'd be brilliant. I've mentioned him before, obviously, but I think he'd be like this guy.
Speaker 2He doesn't take any nonsense. And he carries a Walter PP7 revolver.
Speaker 3Yeah, he'd be like really like sort of.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think my take on that. So for the song.
Speaker 3Or Scott Walker, by the way, scott Walker would be amazing.
Speaker 2I love the idea of Pet Shop Boys doing he doesn't surrender to anybody, he fights his way out of handcuffs. Yeah, I think Pet Shop Boys would do it good. And then it's a bit neat for most of our listeners, our Chef United listeners. I like the idea of Travelling, playing Bond Jimmy Ramble, maybe being the bad guy yeah.
Speaker 3The villain yeah. That'd be an amazing Bond film, or maybe Nick like the sort of.
Speaker 2I'd say Hal, because Hal probably wouldn't have seen the bad guy.
Speaker 3Yeah, maybe a great villain.
Speaker 2Yeah, and Travelling's a clean-cut, good-looking guy. He could play Bond, and Hal is the Hal. Nick and Jimmy are a consortium against him If people don't know what we're talking about here. It's Chef. United content creators. It's Chef.
Speaker 3United content creators who are at war with each other, which I love, by the way.
Speaker 2I think Major Charles is about. They're not really at war no, they're not really. But I think Major Charles is, but for the sake of a Bond film.
Speaker 3Yeah, he's a Carlisle fan and he I think he shared a few things before about two Carlisle podcasts having a go at each other.
Speaker 4I love it. I love how petty it is, major Charles, actually could be a good Bond, couldn't he?
Speaker 2we don't really know what he looks like.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, true, very true my Bond would probably be Maidler. Actually, I think he could play Bond. He looks like Bond as I imagine Bond. Oh yeah, great, roger Moore era Bond, wouldn't he? Yeah, I think they'd be like oh right, are you doing that right?
Speaker 2yeah, I'll wear the blazer yeah, I'll wear the blazer, but I'll kill the foreign man if I have to yeah, I'll kill the foreign man.
Speaker 3Yeah, if you've got to do it, you've got to do it. My villain would probably be Phil Schofield Like, because obviously he took Mabley's job, so that's who he's after just don't like him, do you?
Speaker 2I don't like him and, on that same token, edmonds, and actually someone who put a. Edmonds would be an amazing villain why does he always look like an international terrorist?
Speaker 3he would be an amazing villain. He would be a good villain actually. Yeah, behind his like sort of like I can imagine like behind the screen going kill him and instead of like the odd job or the enforcer, like this yeah, imagine that blobbing.
Speaker 2Blobbing, to be fair, that's a better villain than fucking mouse and bomb villains.
Speaker 4I'm gonna make you mine. It's not impossible got to let you know I'm irresistible, baby, can't you see? You're the one for me. You belong to another. I don't wanna hurt nobody, but my heart just can't fall back. It's the way you make me feel, spinning my world around. Bye.
Speaker 3Tyrone. I've met Tyrone at Tramlines recently.
Speaker 2You said you didn't take to him, didn't you? No, I said I didn't. I'm not joking. I said he was a great guy An awful man.
Speaker 3I said he's an awful awful, awful man, now brilliant, really really nice guy, and he said would we ever consider doing a live stream and commenting on a TV show of our choice?
Speaker 2Give the people what they want. Google box style.
Speaker 3We've thought about this before. We're going to do not live what's it called Eurovision.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's not out of the question. It might be something that comes up. We've said, aren't we? It's a weird one, because if it's something you don't know, we might just be sat in silence watching it.
Speaker 3It's got to be something that you can comment on, because if it's like just a TV programme we've not seen, it's literally just going to be us going oh imagine us just watching it, saying oh, yeah, so I think, if we're going to do that, in my opinion it's got to be something like an award show, like Smash Hits which A Travelman might be quite good because they are really entertaining, but I think there's so much to go out of.
Speaker 2Have you seen a lot of Travelman?
Speaker 3Yeah, I already did. I thought it was called something.
Speaker 2Yeah, maybe we could. Yeah, we're not ruling that out. That might be something we'll look at.
Speaker 3Yeah, we are going to look into that. Yeah, I mean we've talked before.
Musical Banter and Festival Antics
Speaker 2I mean we hate doing already said, eurovision is one we've said. I don't know if it would just end up with us just being on the karaoke show, wouldn't it? With us saying this is a bit like.
Speaker 1Imagine.
Speaker 2Morrissey singing this yeah, I think it's shared. Do you believe in life after?
Speaker 3It wasn't Morrissey, it wasn't Johnny Rotten, wasn't it he wanted to do? John Lydon wanted to do your vision. Yeah, imagine that.
Speaker 4I could be wrong. I could be right, Probably the most.
Speaker 2Yeah, who's the? I sound quite thick now, but who's the really controversial man these days? I didn't think it would work like that. Johnny Rotten is it John Lydon? Yeah, is that John Lydon? Yeah, yeah, this song stinks of hypocrisy.
Speaker 3This song is an absolutely joke. What are you saying to me? Like, yeah, anyway, dead Bart, this is a good one. This is from Dead Bart. Actually, I've got a friend. He gets picked on by his Irish colleague for his dyspraxia.
Speaker 2Well, he put Irish in quotation. Yeah, quotation, which is me. So he's picking on me in this question, fair enough.
Speaker 3He says he picks on a colleague for his dyspraxia and having a strange form of Tourette's where he sings in a Jamaican accent at random intervals. What advice would you give him?
Speaker 2Who am I advising the hero?
Speaker 3You're advising the bully which is you in this? Yeah, the Irish bully.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't think I'm the bully. I think if he had to put up with what I have to put up with, he wouldn't See you're nodding.
Speaker 1He can't see that you accept that You're nodding firmly there.
Speaker 3Well, you were saying obviously on the way here. This is another dyspraxia thing, by the way. This is true. I've shown it to Liam. I've had to like get the dyspraxia card symptoms out. I say random words really loud. You were getting annoyed from the car up here, weren't you?
Speaker 2Well, I think I'll, but again, I don't think this is bullying. So I'm driving us here. It was hurting my ears that you were shouting randomly and I kept really calmly saying I don't know why you shouted that word and you went. Ah, sorry, I didn't shout at it yeah. Like it was. It's not me like over-egging the pudding.
Speaker 3It's a very, very complex illness, but I wasn't saying right, pull over.
Speaker 2Why the fuck are you? I was saying I know you can't really help it. Why are you shouting all the time? Why are you hurting my ears? What would I advise? What would I advise?
Speaker 3I think I'd advise, stop having to go to the disabled man, which is me, I would say listen to Liv and me.
Speaker 2Lee Liam handles this perfectly because he deals with the dyspraxic man with a calm.
Speaker 4The dyspraxic man. What?
Speaker 2are you talking about.
Speaker 3The dyspraxic man. That's a proper illness. God, it's ableist the troubled man. I don't like talking about my dyspraxia, but you bring it up every single episode, every time you have to bring it up.
Speaker 2Every time you think you're out, they pull you back in every time.
Speaker 3I think I forgot about the dyspraxia he pulls me back in.
Speaker 2No, I would advise him to say you know, treat him with humility, Wipe the floor. You're not a child, what are you?
Speaker 3talking about.
Speaker 2No, but I'm not taking a piss now. I'm saying I don't have a go at you when you go to bed and I wipe up the spilt salsa.
Speaker 3We don't live together.
Speaker 2No, we don't. But for a couple of days we are doing but wipe up the salsa that he spilled True. Put the salsa in the fridge when the next day he says oh shit.
Speaker 3I've left the salsa out. That's pissness, though that's not dyspraxia. Bit of both I would say the spilling it.
Speaker 2The spilling it is something. And on that, by the way, we went for breakfast today, yeah, yeah. So I ordered a can of diet coke because I'm trying to do the low carb keto diet. You ordered a tea. Comes in a pot of milk standard without testing or tasting. You've poured the full pot of milk into your tea, yeah, and I instantly said to you that'll be too milky. Yeah, but you had one soup and say that's too milky yeah, right again.
Speaker 2Once I've started pouring, it's really difficult with dyspraxia to turn back yeah, to turn back, so I had to have a full pint of milk well, it wasn't a pint, it wasn't a pint, but yeah, so obviously like but I think this is me calmly dealing with that, saying you shouldn't, you shouldn't have put that full milk in there.
Speaker 4Yeah, but I can't help that.
Speaker 2No, no no, but I wasn't slagging you off.
Speaker 4I just said.
Speaker 2I know you didn't want to put that full milk in there and you said it's too milky.
Speaker 3Liam looked at the festival because he hates crowds.
Speaker 2If Liam went to a festival.
Speaker 3I know I honestly think we won't be friends by the end of the festival, because I don't know how you're that old.
Speaker 2So Jodie says I'm autistic yeah, Because I.
Speaker 3She's actually a girlfriend by the way, people don't know Jodie, she's not a celebrity.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's not Jodie.
Speaker 3Foster.
Speaker 2So I struggle to not say what I'm thinking. So we're a weird relationship where you're doing strange things and I can't not comment on them. So a lot of people would not say anything. But I said to you you poured all that milk in. You don't want all that milk in there, do you? You instantly had a taste and said it's too milky. But then this is me solving it, working with you. I said some sugar in there might make it taste.
Speaker 3Alright, yeah, and it worked Put the sugar in and it's a lot better. Yeah, so you're working like a carer when we go to festivals and obviously you have to, like, set a tent up and stuff. I genuinely just sit on grass. If I can't, I can't. How many times have my shoelaces come on? Nothing this weekend, genuinely.
Speaker 2I've tied your. So this is again where people might say it's bullying. I might say why have you come with shoelaces? If you can't tie them, so I'll tie them for you. I'm being a good guy there. But then I will say if it's bullying, I apologise. I'll say why didn't you get Velcro shoes?
Speaker 3Because you can't have Velcro shoes. You can't have Velcro shoes in your fort.
Speaker 2No, but that's not me having a go, that's me saying why haven't you managed your situation better?
Speaker 3Because you get you to sign.
Speaker 2So you'll bully me then, if anything, yeah, if anything yeah, rolls reverse. It's the time I choose.
Speaker 3Nick said which unfunny Sheffield United podcast is the one that Andrew and Liam most enjoy listening to. This is a dig at Tufty Club, because they were a response to what Deb had put. I think they are our cousins. I'd like to say Tufty Club like in the yeah, I mean we've. If people don't. Obviously it's a Sheffield United podcast, tufty Club, but it's kind of not is it.
Speaker 3They don't talk about Sheffield, you don't need to be a Sheffield United fan to enjoy Tufty Club. So if you're listening and you're not a Sheffield United fan, honestly check out is.
Speaker 2Bob Monkhouse because he's so protective over his jokes and everything he said. But what I will give Toffee Club credit for is one of the reasons we decided to do and record. Not necessarily do this because in COVID we were having loads of chats about nonsense, but I loved the bits in Toffee Club where they weren't talking Sheffield United, they were just thinking it was just a conversation of two mates who had not spoke for a week and we kind of thought, yeah, we'll just record us talking, we'll just nick that, we'll nick that we were fucking fuming everything.
Speaker 2Now everything will be going right into his Monkhouse book but yeah, one thing I love about the Tuffy Club podcast is the bits where they don't talk football, and that kind of spurred certainly me on to think we could just do a podcast where it doesn't need to mess it. We tried to create a theme and that was the main thing, but we also thought we found each other every few days talking shite about. Have you seen that? Do you remember that? Do you ever used to watch that?
Speaker 3Yeah, might as well. Record it. Who remembers is basically all our conversations, isn't it?
Speaker 2Who remembers us. It's tough to call them stealing.
Speaker 3Steal their entire idea. He also said which film that Andrew has heard of but not seen. But he most likes to watch Godfather for me, because I love Goodfellas. I love Casino. Have you seen Donnie Brasco? I've seen Donnie Brasco I like. Donnie.
Speaker 2Brasco.
Speaker 3Yeah, I like Danny Brasco yeah.
Speaker 2I like Danny Brasco the.
Speaker 3Departed Not seeing that.
Speaker 2So that's one. If you like those sort of films, send in. Yeah, send in film requests for me Send in recommendations for Andrew to watch films I've seen. Edward Scissorhands.
Speaker 4The more I learn about I know about before, the less I know, the more I want to look around, digging deep for clues. On higher ground, difficult to swim with rivers run Drought fields and feast with my eyes open. That's the kid drinking from the living cup.
Speaker 2There was a break there. You might not have noticed. Andrew needed to go to the toilet, got up and knocked over a drink and again I've wiped it up. I don't know why I'm the bully in this scenario. Accidental.
Speaker 3My hands are like Ian Curtis when he's dancing.
Speaker 2I thought you were going to say when he hung himself no, it's not that bad yet. No, we can't, we're not going for that yet. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3It's not that bad yet no, we can't, can we even we're not going for that yet.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Anyway, we've got no apologies. That's awful where my mind went to then?
Speaker 3Are you telling me that it's time to end it?
Speaker 2Move on. Live question. I suppose Again from Steve-O. He's sending us stuff live, so I might as well put it in there. And actually this is a great question If you have to absolutely have to is put, which one would you get rid of forever? So football music, sitcoms or Richard Madeley? So it can't be music. I'm going to put that out there early on. That's too primal, isn't it? It can't be music.
Speaker 3I'm going to put that out there early on. It can't be music, it can't be football for me.
Speaker 2No, I watched that with my dad. There's a lot of memories tied into that, Do you know? The sad thing is yeah, I think it's going to be Richard Madeley. It makes our podcast redundant, doesn't?
Speaker 3it Living with no.
Speaker 2Living with nobody nobody, I think, if we have to get rid of one of those things football music, sitcoms it can't be it has to be.
Speaker 3Richard Bale, I've got more. We were talking earlier, but this could, I suppose.
Speaker 2So the answer then this could be so who else been on TV all the time? They'll be living with Gary Lineker, can't be that? No, but there's other people. What I mean is who is like the?
Speaker 3nearest one, would you say to. Maidley yeah, schofield's one of them. To be fair and I keep bringing them up Edmund's another one. Yeah, edmund's another one, someone who's been on our TV screens the whole way through our lives. I was going to say Anthony Turner, but she can't get on TV for Loving the Money now, can she no? Not anymore not even Lynam Michael Burke.
Speaker 2Michael.
Speaker 3Burke's not on TV anymore no, last time. I saw Michael Burke no, no, didn't work. Living with Stephen Mulhern. What are you calling that? Living with Stephen Mulhern?
Speaker 2tell you what we're talking about. I thought he was Stephen Mulhern.
Speaker 3Tell you what we're talking about today. What's his name? Again, who does the Sky Sports thing? Dan Jones, dave Jones.
Speaker 2David Jones, david Jones.
Speaker 3We were talking about earlier, who presents Friday night football and Monday night football and all the main games on Sunday, and we couldn't think of it.
Speaker 2He's the most bland man on TV yeah, the most frightening thing I've seen him more than like most other people more than some of your family, yeah, but he's apparently. He's done Monday night football since 2016, so we've watched him hundreds of times and neither of us could name him David Jones.
Speaker 3No and if you said to me now, what does he look like? I couldn't. It's funny because I can picture him.
Speaker 2But I can't picture him. No, but the picture of him in my head can.
Speaker 3It's Stephen Mulhern, and that's a joke yeah, yeah, Now, genuinely like I don't know what he looks like even now, but I don't know what it looks like even now.
Speaker 2Good question from Steve. Out there it's probably got to be Mayley that would sabotage what we've done.
Speaker 3We'll get a better title for a start. You cry out in your sleep all my feelings exposed. There's a taste in my mouth. The desperation takes hold. Things exposed there's a taste in my mouth. That desperation takes hold. And there's something so good, it's just gonna function, no more.
Speaker 4Love love will tear us apart again. Love love will tear us apart again. Love Love will tear us apart Again.
Speaker 3Love, love will tear us apart Again.
Speaker 4Love, love will tear us apart Again.
Speaker 3Again Brilliant.
Speaker 1I don't know what you're ready for that time.
Speaker 3The Major, the Major, the Major, the Major. We were looking out for your results today. Actually didn't we? Carlisle, I think? The lost to Fleetwood on the end.
Speaker 2Yeah, we were cheering when we were 2-2.
Speaker 3on behalf of the Major I've seen Charlie White scored two goals and I said I bet the Major calls him Charlie Woke. The Major said this is a great question.
Speaker 2He had a bit of a stick recently. I know as well.
Speaker 3Yeah, some people say he's jealous of, is it A-Up Not getting on some?
Speaker 2American platform. We're very much behind the Major.
Speaker 3Yeah, definitely, team Major. What would your ideal five celebrities be, for a celebrity to come down with me, and what three-course meal do you think Richard Maidley would make? So this is not us being in the room, this is us watching it?
Celebrity Dinner Party Planning
Speaker 2Yeah, because I got this wrong initially. I thought this was us with them. This is as a viewer which five do we want? Maidley's one of the five, I assume. So it's four others. Yeah do you want to do his meal?
Speaker 3first. Well, I was thinking it's. I think I'd do oxtail soup as a starter.
Speaker 2Yeah, in a slow cooker. But yeah, Put it in, put it in.
Speaker 3Well, you actually said before Richard Maidler this is a genuine quote from him that he says he's like Hitler in the kitchen.
Speaker 2Yeah, really I can imagine him.
Speaker 3No no no. I don't think he does like the salutes and stuff. I do agree with that. In the workplace, that's a sneak shot.
Speaker 2I'm thinking I'll go with Oxtail soup salad because I think he'd love that. It's a low-cost ingredient. Yeah, put the time and love in. I think he'd go for his main meal bouffant crud, I'm thinking no, no, I think he's especially pretentious, because I don't think he'd be doing it in this way, but he keeps saying something like yeah, it's lobster yeah, yeah, yeah people think it's flamboyant, but it's lobster.
Speaker 3We eat lobster yeah, I like lobster. Yeah, I will.
Speaker 2And his dessert, I reckon it'd be so I'm thinking here creme brulee, but he torched the top live in front of the game yeah, yeah, yeah get some blood torch. Yeah, individually I'll do it, I'll do it now watch dude now blood torch here, blood torch top, yep, yep, going on.
Speaker 3I would honestly go for a meal at Richard Maidler's house if he were making it. Not because I'm a fan of Richard Maidler, but I think he would make a good three-course meal.
Speaker 1It would be good, I think he'd win Celebrity.
Speaker 3Come Dime with me, because I think everyone would be going. Well, do you know what he wouldn't win?
Speaker 2it, would he? These would be polished dishes. Yeah, yeah, no, I've done it several times. And the five of people we've mentioned.
Speaker 3Well, that's a question later on, but I am going to pick someone that we have mentioned. Do you know what I like? Controversy. I like confrontation, as long as I'm not involved in it. Engineer for confrontation I go for.
Speaker 2Mike Graham and Mike Parry. So I'm going to go Parry, I wasn't going to go Graham. Yeah, parry and Richard Maynard, I think would be a proper clash. Mike, I'll toast it. I'll toast it. I don't want you to toast it because this is the worst thing, I've ever tasted, no one toasted my pudding because I was stuck about Bell but I'm Grabe because obviously they've fallen out.
Speaker 3I presume they've not spoken since I'd like Paris to have fucked together.
Speaker 1Why did you?
Speaker 3end it. Probably pissed as well, by the way, because, like, obviously, you drink that, and he would ask that question, wouldn't he?
Speaker 2Yeah, so why didn't we do it anymore, guys? And he would go no, just fuck off, leave it. Yeah, and then I'd have Schofield and Eamon Holmes Elms for me, because they obviously Eamon Elms, if people don't know when Schofield got there, you won TalkSport engineering competition, don't you, yeah, when, when I've played the game.
Speaker 3I've played the game. When Schofield got sacked for doing whatever he did, eamon Elms went on GB News and just laid into him. I don't do the accent, he's not even that talented. He says he's not even that talented, but he keeps getting shows. He keeps getting it. Everyone knows he's not a successful man. Everybody knows he's not good at what he does. I'd love to see him say that to Schofield.
Speaker 2I think you want arguments. I'm thinking what being a nice dinner first?
Speaker 1Yeah, but you're not there.
Speaker 2No, but what don't? So one of the reasons I don't watch Come Down With Me or Falling Into Bed is because I hate the confrontation. It makes me cringe when they're all falling out, although I listen to a lot of Talks Ball which contradicts that. So I'm thinking what would be nice for Rich? I like Parry just purely because the drunk guy in the corner but I'm thinking what would Rich have a good time with? I think someone like a.
Speaker 3You don't want it to be boring though you don't want everyone to get on.
Speaker 2No, no, no. I want some debate, but I want someone like a Mike Tyson or someone that it wouldn't Rich would have to. He wouldn't be able to change the way he is.
Speaker 3But I don't know what about Mike Tyson Morris? Eh?
Speaker 2Oh yeah, hulk Hogan, again I think you're going to have to confrontate. Oh no, you're thinking how can we police this crowd?
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would Hogan, though, have a go at Tyson? I don't like the way he's tied, brother. I don't think he'd say that if he's a bit of a, I say he's a coward. He's fucking like seven foot fucking biggest Muslim man in the world, right Brett Hart on Elgin. I like the idea, and Brian May that's who you think, corny Elves, haven't you? I like Brian May, yeah.
Speaker 2I think he'd be really like it's too salty.
Speaker 3I just don't think he'd eat it. I just thought it was a little bit too salty. To be honest, I don't know.
Speaker 2I don't even know.
Speaker 3I think Warnock could be a good one, but I think Warnock with other people would be genuinely alright. I think he'd be like it's alright. I tell you, rich, you have done a great meal. He put his arm round, done a great meal. He put his arm around me. A fantastic meal.
Speaker 4Richard, you won at best. You won at best. Yeah, I'll go on, but then I imagine I'll text him where you're at and he'll go. Why?
Speaker 1Absolutely awful that.
Speaker 3How he can give that to people he's got to think about it. How he?
Speaker 2can touch that he could have killed us. I like Warnock. I think I probably need another. I want like a. I want Rich to get home with someone like a, judah, judah yeah, rolling her eyes all the time, let's cut that again. Yeah, I don't know if we've got enough, but yeah, it's a great question from a great man.
Speaker 3Craig said you stuck. It's a similar sort of question. You're stuck on a desert island with Liam. This is like he sent this to me. You have to survive for one month. Only food and water are available and he's put EG live fish and rainwater for drinking. It's a tropical island. It's dangerous. It's from the following list of people who would you like to be on the island with? And he's given us Mike Parra, richard Maidley, paul Sykes, neil Warnock, hulk Hogan and Les Dennis.
Speaker 2So you showed me this list a while ago. We're choosing three of the six. We've got to decide between, as you said, is it three?
Speaker 3of the six. Yeah, so I think you have to go for Maidley.
Speaker 2Yeah, a calm head, it yeah. So I think you have to go for mailer. Yeah, a calm head. No, it's fine, I'll be the accommodation.
Speaker 3I'll swim over there. I'll just go to a little island over there and I'll get some coconuts Sharks in the Bay.
Speaker 2I'll go and catch one of the sharks in the bay. Yeah, so yeah, sensible. Well, I proved it didn't.
Speaker 3I, I'm a celebrity. I'd that he parted the Hudson River. I mean, if that's true, he can't not have it, can he? He'd go around, all go-go, he'd part with his pythons.
Speaker 2But I'm thinking, I'm coming at it from a slightly different way. I'm thinking rule out the disruptive influence you can't have. Paul Sykes, Paul. Sykes would He'd kill you. He'd beat us both up in the first minute.
Speaker 3Yeah, paul Sykes would He'd kill you. He'd beat us both up in the first minute. Yeah, I'll kill you. He's not Scottish.
Speaker 2I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you. Paul Sykes and Hulk Hogan.
Speaker 3Paul Sykes would be unbelievable. He is.
Speaker 2I think don't get me wrong he'd have his value when he says pigs on the island, I'll go and catches a pig and kill a pig, I reckon do you know what might be good, though, getting Paul Sykes in to get all the food in and then killing him because you couldn't, you couldn't, I don't know if both of us combined yeah, but with Maidley, yeah, probably not would we have Hulk to just help us get rid of Sykes? I don't know that, brother, but Hulk Hogan's a notorious like traitor.
Speaker 3I'm saying this. I don't know if he is In this like thing. I'm going mad. I'm slugging his character off. He might have a go at us he might side with Sykes, he might side with.
Island Survival Strategy Discussion
Speaker 2Sykes and kill us. Yeah, so the only thing my thinking is Madeley Parry and Les Dennis. Oh, no wait. So Madeley, riley Warnock and Les Dennis are probably the sanest people to be on an island with yeah them six. And we might be able to kind of find a way of fucking them.
Speaker 3Les Dennis might just go up and the laughter stops. What's left? What's left? I'm really not doing it. Let's get some fish and the laughter stops. And the laughter stops. What's left but a?
Speaker 2clown, but at least I think. I think I could survive on that island. I think if you put Hogan or Paul Sykes on there, I'm not sure I'm I'm lasting that long, because they'll kill us in our sleep.
Speaker 3I don't know how Hogan would, but I think Sykes definitely would. Yeah, so so we have to agree.
Speaker 2So we have to agree, don't we? So I'm saying so I'll take Les Dennis. I don't think he'd contribute much, but he'd be, we'll have to stop.
Speaker 3You've got to read the press, though, with Les Dennis, haven't you I?
Speaker 2think like we'd have to every couple of hours. Imagine him just staring at everyone.
Speaker 3The drugs don't work.
Speaker 2We'd have to give him a whole gunway every now and then yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2Warnock. I think he'd motivate us Like lads. He wouldn't be necessarily doing a great deal, he'd create a collecting firewood. I'll tell you what, liam the way you got up that tree I saw you chopping that tree the way you got them bananas Warnock would motivate us. We've got to go Warnock. Yeah, warnock. Fair news, dennis, just because he's not going to intrude on what we're doing. And Hogan, I think. So you'll hope I'll go Hogan, he's a big man if we need him. Yeah, we'll go Hogan.
Speaker 3It's just talking bullshit, but I imagine Warnock going. That's bollocks though, isn't it Hulk?
Speaker 4That's absolute bollocks.
Speaker 3Well, liam, I think you've built that shelter. And Les Dennis going and the laughter starts in the fucking corner.
Speaker 4Hit it Na-na-na-na-.
Speaker 1Lyrical gangster. I scored him as the officer.
Speaker 4No, we don't want to die. Yes, we multiply Ch-ch-ch-change. Murderer. I scored him as the officer We've got to stop that there, can we?
Speaker 2If anyone wants to get in touch with us, send us anything. Find us on Twitter at livingwithmade1, or you can send us an email at livingwithmadely at outlookcom.