Living With Madeley
"Living With Madeley" is a nostalgic TV based podcast that attempts to take a humorous look at some of the most weird, wonderful and woeful moments in UK television history.
Titled "Living With Madeley" as neither host can remember a week of their lives where Richard Madeley hasn't been on their screens, join Andrew and Liam as they take you on a journey to TV past.
Living With Madeley
Series 8 Episode 13 - Was Christmas TV Better 30 Years Ago? *Featuring this years Christmas message from Major Charles
Did the BBC truly lose its festive magic, or have our tastes just changed over the years? Join us as we embark on a merry journey through the annals of Christmas Day television, contrasting the bountiful lineup of 1994 with what 2024 has in store. With trusty guides like the Radio Times and TV Times, we nostalgically reminisce about Noddy and the iconic Take That concert while humorously critiquing the ever-present royal speeches.
In a whimsical twist, we explore a theory that suggests the Jetsons and the Flintstones might coexist in a post-apocalyptic realm, where humans are divided into sky and ground dwellers. This leads us to a lively debate over the merits of family-friendly animations versus classic Fred Astaire films, while pondering the significance of Christmas morning service broadcasts. With amusing anecdotes, we reflect on how holiday programming has evolved, touching on beloved shows like Keeping Up Appearances and EastEnders.
The episode wouldn’t be complete without a hearty laugh at the expense of some soap opera plotlines and a debate over the worth of the TV license fee. From the timeless charm of Morecambe and Wise to the modern offerings of Gavin and Stacey, we share our festive viewing habits and preferences. Wrapping up with a cheeky Christmas message attempt in the style of Chris Eubank, we take a moment to wish our listeners a Merry Christmas and encourage them to join in the holiday spirit on social media.
And what better way to close the Christmas day episode than with a message from Major Charles?
Merry Christmas!
Living with Maidly. Living with Maidly. Living with Maidly. Maidly. Living with Maidly.
Speaker 2:Hello and Merry Christmas from the Living with Maidly podcast. This is a TV nostalgia-based podcast. I'm one of the hosts. I'm Liam Andrew. Have you dropped Van Haag now? Is it still Van?
Speaker 3:Haag, it's Andrew Christmas Haag today, christmas Day, this is going out. Obviously we're not recording on Christmas Day, but you know, hopefully people are listening Christmas Day, I think we're going to release it around two o'clock. You know, I'm sure you'll be leaving your family dinners to come and listen to what we've got to say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like wolfing down the last bit of Christmas pudding because I've got to get Maidley on. Can you imagine?
Speaker 3:that Like people around Christmas didn't know why are you eating, so I can't either, but um, but yeah, really really exciting, and obviously we're doing this on christmas day mainly because we've got a, a big, um, yeah, like a special thing going soon yeah, we're hoping you will stay with us for the episode, but you could skip to the end if you just want to get straight to the most important part of the episode.
Speaker 2:That's your call your own decision, um, but it would be nice if, if you, if you do that, come back and join us for the rest of the fun, I think yeah, so the end of the episode.
Speaker 3:We've got a speech from major charles and his christmas message, which we're all looking forward to. Um, but what we're going to be talking about before that is we said on the last episode everyone's been going on banging on bbc's rubbish. Now it's crap. Do I, you pay your license fee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, all this. We're going to put it to the test one time for all. So what we're going to do today is liam's got his tv times magazine. I've got the t. Is it tv times or radio times? You've got.
Speaker 3:I've gone for the radio times ah, because I've got tv times from 1994 obviously not on my, but I've downloaded the yeah, a page from it. I'm gonna go with anything if you had an actual physical copy. I'm not sure. To be honest, I've got quite a few. You know how many 442 magazines I've got? Oh yeah, I should go to Dragon's Den with them. I've got copious amounts of 442 magazines.
Speaker 2:The.
Speaker 3:Australian man would definitely be interested in them. Yeah, I'm looking for £4 million. I don't know what they are, but I'm really interested. So what I'm going to do? We're going to go through the BBC One schedule on Christmas Day. You know, if people listen to this in the afternoon, or more likely a couple of days after, you might think what's the point? I've missed Christmas Day.
Speaker 2:now iPlayer pals, lads, lasses 30 years ago has been and gone, so don't worry about that. Everything we talk about will be on iPlayer.
Speaker 3:From this year anyway From this year, so what we're going to do is just BBC One for the time. Yeah, that's an amendment, isn't?
Speaker 2:it. That is an amendment. We were going to do one and two, but we've decided that the flagship of the BBC is BBC One. Bbc Two is pretty poor from the 1994 and 2024. But what we will do is we'll do some honourable mentions from BBC Two, ITV, Channel Four and Channel Five at the end, I think.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So what we're going to do is divide it up into four categories morning, afternoon, evening and night and we're going to decide whether it's true that the BBC has lost its way. Is it not as good as it used to be at Christmas, or is it just the same as it always has been?
Speaker 2:And I think, by the way, we've not really discussed this, but the way I'm assessing this is so. There's two rooms in my house. One is showing TV from 94. One is showing this year's TV. Which one am I going? And you can't pick or choose specific shows. You've got to sit for the morning session. Which one are you going for the session?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and like, obviously, the King speech and the Queen speech are going to be on both, so that's not really, it doesn't really factor into it. You're obviously. You know it's fucking the worst part of TV anyway, I think, isn't it? Realistically? We've got the major speech, that's the main, especially now the major's involved. Yeah, exactly, so I don't know where do you want to start?
Speaker 2:Should we start 94?
Speaker 3:So the morning we're going to start from 9am because I think you know you've got shit on in the background, aren't you? To be honest, we're going to do a little, you know, going through the channels at the time or one to four, as it was in 94, and see what we're on. I reckon, as I'm opening my presents, I probably would have Channel 4 in the background because it's got Take that in concert on in the morning. So, yeah, you'd probably have that in the background, wouldn't you, rather than the BBC.
Speaker 2:Yeah, possibly. I mean, I don't know. Obviously, you've seen the other options.
Speaker 3:No, no, sorry, I mean, this is pre-9 o'clock.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I'm saying I don't know what would have been on when I was opening Presidency Night 4, because you've got the TV times.
Speaker 3:I can't see it. Well, let me tell you it's noddy, all right, uh, yeah, I'll probably take that. Then, yeah, let's take that, but we're gonna start from nine. So nine o'clock, um well, it's 9, 50 it starts, because not noddy's on for like an hour and 20 minutes. We showed him in a film, um, he just yeah ridiculous. The first one I've got is a film called santa claus is coming to town, uh, which is a musical narrated and sung by fred astaire. You ever seen it?
Speaker 2:obviously I've never seen it no, I don't know of it. I've never heard of it. Um, that's surprising me. Actually, that's the start of the bbc catalog on on 94 yeah straight away. You're going to take us through your morning. First I have to say I'm I'm not that intrigued by that, if I'm honest no, no, no, exactly the same.
Speaker 3:Never seen it, don't want to see it. It's not even one of the classics, is it? I never understood this put like one of the classics, on in the morning. Maybe you've got one, I don't know, because I've not seen this year's schedule at 10 am we've got songs of praise which I I we were going to do a podcast. Weren't we a bit back about the most boring shows on tv? And I think we both picked this out, didn't we? As, like one of the contenders, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2:I mean, I do like some of the choir songs, but the my grandma used to love songs of praise. It was, yeah, it's painful some of it, isn't it like the talk around like I don't even remember what they were talking about, just and and of course, this week at the uh saint george's cathedral we had it's just garbage, you know, like I mean, look, if you're religious, I get it, you know.
Speaker 3:I mean you've got to like. I suppose, like I say in the morning, it's probably one way to go to church.
Speaker 2:Every yeah, get a church. Yeah, you have to watch. What's his name? Is it? Arthur askill, is it?
Speaker 3:well, the one, the one who's doing this one, the one who's presenting this, is pam roads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, she quite broad sort of northern woman, is it? Oh no, pam airs, I is it, I don't know Pam Rhodes.
Speaker 3:I don't know who Pam Rhodes is. To be honest, pam Rhodes, I've typed her in.
Speaker 2:So far I'm not interested in what you're offering me.
Speaker 3:Can I just Something that might change your mind on Songs of Praise? Is Pam Rhodes is joined by Linda Bellingham Of Gravy fame? Yeah, I'm slightly more intrigued, but it's still not swaying me.
Speaker 2:Pam Rose is joined by Linda Bellingham of gravy fame. Yeah, I'm slightly more intrigued, but I'm still not swaying me. I wouldn't probably even know who Linda Bellingham was in 94. Mind you, this is with modern eyes, isn't it? I'm not judging this as a 12-year-old. Alright, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:The last thing and I've never seen this film, but I've seen the show is the Jetsons movie. Yeah, it's a phenomenal theme tune. If nothing else, I probably just have it on for the theme me, george Jetson, jane, his wife, right.
Speaker 2:I nearly I so wish I'd done this now. I just didn't think to do it. When we mentioned this and you sent me earlier today the image of the TV guide, I wanted to send you an email but say don't open it until the podcast where I was going to predict what minute you were going to say his wife. I reckon I would have been really close. I don't think anyone can ever mention the Jetsons in your presence without you saying Jane, his wife.
Speaker 3:I love how serious it is. It doesn't mean anything. His boy oh, is it Elroy Elon? How serious it is.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean anything. Oh, is it, elroy Elon.
Speaker 3:Is it, boy Elon? But do you know the theory about the Jetsons and the Flintstones?
Speaker 2:by the way, I think you've told me some madcap thing before.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, according to the theory, there was an apocalyptic event that destroyed Earth and forced humanity to live in the sky and, as that population advanced, another event happened and that meant that um earth started, you know, um started, life came back on earth, you know, and it restarted with creatures from various eras and stuff. And the, the theory, what? What do you understand? Science, this science hour, this science hour? Yeah, so, you know, life has come back onto earth, even after the event, the nuclear event, um, and what they're saying is the, the future humans, if you like, or the, you know, the human. They've moved to space, but the ones on the ground, like which, who are the flintstones? They're the, the humans who, you know, evolved again. What are you laughing at?
Speaker 2:this is like I've put you on the spot and said I've totally come up with the science fiction story. What are you talking about? Who's the flintstones are like? What happens when it starts again then? Yeah, so so the flintstones are actually more futuristic than the jetsons the flintstones.
Speaker 2:This coexist, they coexist yeah, but what I mean is like that that society started after the jetsons. It's just reset, almost like it's because there's a famous quote in there from someone where he said something like uh, I don't know what weapons world war three will be fought with, but world war four will be back to sticks and stones.
Speaker 3:Brilliant, absolutely phenomenal, and that's what it's basically saying. Yeah, and obviously this all um the jetsons and the flintstones came around in, the, uh, cold war era, so that's another that backs it up, if anything, and apparently there's some.
Speaker 2:Does that explain why they like mix concrete and pelicans and things? Then Because they started again.
Speaker 3:They started again, so all the creatures from various eras have come back the animals are all downbeat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because obviously there's still slithers of life in there?
Speaker 3:Obviously yeah, because obviously, obviously, there's still slithers of life in there, you know obviously yeah so there's some scenes in the Flintstones apparently, where they send something into the air. It never returns, and that's apparently the theory says, because there's a shield that separates both society so the ones below never get suspicious. I've not made this up. This is an actual theory about the Jetsons and the Flintstones.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, I'm slightly intrigued by the Jetsons. That's the only thing you've got me on in that morning session.
Speaker 3:Well, that goes off quarter past twelve, so that's that done, basically.
Speaker 1:That's the morning done.
Speaker 3:That's my morning done.
Speaker 2:It's not a great start for the BBC, no Well well, let me tell you I won't give my judgment yet. I'll just tell you what's on offer. So from nine o'clock, we've got Trolls Holiday in Harmony. I don't know what that is. It's an animation with Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake, so it sounds like that should be a feature film, yeah film, yeah, quite a big.
Speaker 2:It's only 20 minutes long. Maybe I don't know anything about that. Yeah, straight after that, and you probably won't know these things, but I do like if you've got sort of kids of a certain age, you will know of these. So 920 is superworm, I've seen it. And then at 950 it's the gruffalo's child, I've seen it. So they, these are the sort of more modern. Is it Julie Donaldson or like? You know the sort of the Gruffalo, the whale and the snail.
Speaker 3:Yeah to be honest so far, I'm probably going for Fred Astaire above that, I mean, I don't know anything about.
Speaker 2:Fred Astaire he's either going to throw his hat.
Speaker 3:Who's Fred Astaire?
Speaker 2:Fred Astaire's got fast feet as a dancer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know he's like a has he got a? Hat I?
Speaker 2:think Michael Jackson throws his hat. I'm not saying Fred Astaire doesn't.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I'll put him in. He's got a bowler hat on and like a stick Whoa, I think he, I think he. He's not singing in the rain is it?
Speaker 2:That's not.
Speaker 3:I ain't seen any films. You're asking the man who's seen less than I have seen over 100 films, so you know, but anyway 99 of those are Liar, liar though, aren't they? Well, I've seen that more times than anything else. I can't see Singing in the Rain here. Apparently, he's most known for Top Hat. As I said about the hat Swing Time, shall we Dance Holiday. I've never heard of any. I've never seen them, not interested.
Speaker 2:So that takes us through to a quarter past 10. And I would watch that and at the minute, if it's just for me to choose, that's one thing, but as a family view this is certainly in front. I'll make my personal judgment at the end. 10.15, we've got a Christmas morning service from Halifax Minister. Why Halifax, I don't know. Know it's led by the reverend canon hillary barbara the reverend and the makers you used to get picked up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you hate him well, everyone does, I think with a, with an ear, I don't hate the guy, I just hate that line called up in a rat race you call it rat race wanker, don't you for that one particular line in that song. I've often noticed he's got more involved with other stuff, like I actually don't you for that one particular line in that song. Yeah, I've often noticed he's got more involved with other stuff. Like I actually don't mind. He does some quite amusing videos now.
Speaker 3:But that's not him.
Speaker 2:That's his brother, all right yeah, go on anyway and and this is where I think I'm possibly gonna gonna steal the show here, but I'm not sure. So sneaking in at 11.20, we've got Toy Story 3.
Speaker 3:Never seen it. Right, let me have a. Do you know what we might have a disagreement here? I would probably watch the Jetsons film above Toy Story, purely because why would I start with Toy Story 3 when I've not seen one and two?
Speaker 2:Well, because I would imagine it's a better film than the Jetsons, and also you don't need to see any others.
Speaker 3:Has it got meet George Jetson, jane his wife in it? Because if it hasn't, I think already we'll look at the Jetsons probably being the better film. I mean, it's a terrible reason, but yeah, that's fair enough so I think we're not going to draw here, because Songs of Praise versus the Halifax Minister thing some carols from the service on the morning. Okay, I'll hear that. I'm going for a terrible worm man or whatever it's called Super Worm and the Gruffalo's Child.
Speaker 3:And look, people can decide at home. But for me personally and we don't have to agree on this because everyone's listening. I'm going for 1994 because I think the jetsons is better than toy story 3. I think I'd rather, I think I'd rather watch the jetsons film, um, rather than toy story 3.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I'm going modern yeah I'm going with the fact that I think it's just an all-around better mix. We've got some nice animation to have on in the background, got some carols, and then we've got a genuinely good film that comes in at 11 20. So, yeah, it's uh. We're tied up to lunchtime yeah, fair enough.
Speaker 3:So now we've got 12 o'clock till five, so quarter past 12. Tom and jerry little cartoon. Did this all play, tom and jerry? I don't think so interesting. Um 12 30 though, we've got the east enders on your burst and obviously this is shown in the lead up to the EastEnders, and presumably EastEnders is on Christmas Day this year as well. It is, but it's not the.
Speaker 2:I know it is actually on twice, but I'm guessing you might have got a feature length one or something like that.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, it's the Onyibus, it's an hour and a half and it says Cindy lands in deep water at the swimming pool. So you know, unless he's being literal, I presume that's a a play on words. Erm and Cathy get er. Cathy pays a nervous visit to Peggy. Ho, ho, ho. Can you imagine what that's all about? Er? Something to do with Phil? Oh yeah, phil will be involved. Absolutely no doubt Phil will be involved, but we'll come to eastenders a bit more later, obviously, because well, you know, because- the omnibus is the catch-up on sort of the previous things, isn't it so?
Speaker 2:absolutely yeah I would guess they're all repeats, are they?
Speaker 3:um, yeah, like I said, the omnibus thing. So it's just, I think they'll want people to watch that how long is that?
Speaker 2:how long is the omnibus?
Speaker 3:it's an hour and a half, because it's all the episodes of the week, isn't it?
Speaker 2:yeah, so you've got an hour and a half of stuff people who like EastEnders have probably already seen, and people who don't like EastEnders might not understand.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but they'll be building themselves up, won't they?
Speaker 3:They'll be thinking or even if you're, I don't know, let's say you're going to eat Nams and she's a big EastEnders fan you and then we've got something I don't think is on this year actually, which we're a staple of TV and we've covered it in a couple of episodes. At 2 o'clock it's Christmas Top of the Pops, and I'm not going to go through every single act that we're on, but can I just give you a few and see what you think these are the performance featured. It's not kicked off with. Things can only get better by D.
Speaker 2:Reed yeah, I've told you I don't like his excessive breathing in, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Presented by Tate Art, by the way. Yeah, so other songs there. By the way, they all say Mimed Performance next to them, because this is on the actual Top of the Pops archive page. Something that you might like, I think, is Return to Innocence by Enigma.
Speaker 2:No, I know what you mean. It probably should be my sort of thing, but I never really like that. No, it's alright.
Speaker 3:I saw the sign. I hope I like to move it. Move it, I like to move it. Yeah, I like that, that's good, most Beautiful Girl in the World by Prince. Not one of his best, but you might like it.
Speaker 2:No, it's alright.
Speaker 3:Take that themselves, play a song and it's. Everything changes, but you.
Speaker 2:We're a thousand miles apart but you know I still love you, yeah, brilliant Crash Test Dummies.
Speaker 3:No, never been that bothered. I might go through them all. Like I say, I know you like this one. Probably it's Come On your Heads. The music video was shown. Oh really yeah.
Speaker 2:Mike Parker Pallister, bruce Chopin, Hughes McClure, keanu Cantona, robson Kanchelski.
Speaker 3:Sengigs. I find it mad, though, that an actual song music lyric, a number one song, features the word Bruce. Like Steve Bruce is name checked in a song Baby, I Love your Way, Baby.
Speaker 2:I love your way.
Speaker 3:Every day, shine Aswad, shine like a star, shine yeah. You weren't going to do all of them, so I don't know how many there is, I'm not going to do all of them honestly, there's loads, absolutely loads, on here Saturday Night Wigfield the Show Take that Pato Banton, baby Come Back.
Speaker 3:But the number one, the top three that year I mean these all didn't play the number one did. Number three was Whatever by Oasis, that Christmas Good song. Yeah, really good song. I think they did really well to get to number three. I think it's been released this year. Actually, number two was All I Want For Christmas Is you by Mariah. Number two was um, all I want for christmas is you by mariah. And number one yeah, it never got some one in its original run because it was kept off by stay another day by e17.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that song yeah and they, they closed the show.
Speaker 2:Uh, closed the show, so yeah so that's um close the show in a big coach. Yeah, no, I genuinely remember watching that live as well. I I would have watched that on christmas day yeah, yeah, I used to love it.
Speaker 3:It's a love, love top of the pops christmas day. I thought it would because, again, it pretty much when you're having your dinner two o'clock or getting ready for it or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Let's put on your dad a little chair, going like by the way, on that subject, have you?
Speaker 2:we said we might have a couple of, a couple of cans to get into the festive spirit, have you? Uh, have you had a beer today? No, all right, I had a few times watching the game. Yeah, I'm now doing a Big Sam. I've got wine in a pint glass.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you what I'm having a Buxton's Water.
Speaker 2:So it's all kicking off.
Speaker 3:Very festive. I had a shandy yesterday mate.
Speaker 2:All right, slow down.
Speaker 3:I know, yeah, but it's all gearing up. Obviously, people aren't going to be pissed as they're listening to this, but we're recording this before I've still got a couple of working days.
Speaker 2:We should be doing that thing where they do Jamie Oliver, where they film it in August. Oh, yeah. Nothing like Christmas Day. We should be in the Christmas Day spirit.
Speaker 3:I think, if I'm going to be honest with you, I'm wearing a Columbia shirt, lse tracksuit bottoms and adidas trainers, so I look very so it is like christmas day for you. Yeah, it's like the sort of things that I get given for christmas day. Um, yeah, but after the christmas you got the queen speech. I think they put that out at three o'clock, so I think they presume more people watch it because they're all having the dinner.
Speaker 2:But this ever a tradition in yours, your house no, never I don't think I've ever watched it no, I I don't know if I have actually I've sort of like at the event seen like a clip on the news that says it's been a harmonious week this year.
Speaker 3:I don't know anyone who's ever watched it, right? So my conspiracy theory is I don't think it's ever been on. I just don't think anyone watches it. I think that this is think that this is like a test.
Speaker 3:They just play like a screen yeah, do you know, like, um, I don't know black mirror when he would fucking that pig on the first episode and the point was like everyone were chewing into that, and that's when he, like, released the princess so and no one realized because everyone watching I think it's like this everyone's on a different side. Um, on that, actually I'll come into this now. This was 1994 on Channel 4. At the same time it's the second year of the alternative Christmas speech. Do you remember that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it used to get like a zany comedian or something, didn't it?
Speaker 3:Well, the first one was actually Quentin Crisp.
Speaker 1:I don't know who he is.
Speaker 2:Jesse Jackson.
Speaker 3:He's an author, or poet or something yeah. Jesse Jackson. Then they had Bridget Bardot in 95 and then it started getting really funny. Got Rory Bremner mate in 1996 in the character of Princess Diana Wales. Imagine how funny that'll have been. Oh what after she died 96, now, a year before. All right, that would be terrible taste, can you? Imagine on the grave your queen of hearts okay, I remember the 99 one was the one that I remember and that was ali g.
Speaker 3:yeah, why do I remember that? Why were that so like big in my 2002 sharon osborne, ozzy I? I shouldn't have said that Marge Simpson did it in 2004. Jamie Oliver 2005. It's like a bit of a thing. I don't know who's doing this year's. Stephen Fry last year.
Speaker 2:I don't think they know. They just say the unofficial one and they don't list who's doing it. So they don't know this year.
Speaker 3:Anyway. So after that we've got something that we've already covered this series and it's Noel's Christmas presents at 3 o'clock and then at 4.10 something you're definitely not going to get on TV this year and it's Animal Hospital with Ralph Harris.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, if that was repeated this year, that would be the shock of the year wouldn't it I'd watch it.
Speaker 1:I'd tell you, yeah, that's the sound of the theme tune, I'd watch it.
Speaker 2:I'd say that sounded a little bit like Casualty. I was really glad, as I was doing it.
Speaker 3:I was like you know, when you're doing something you think, oh, I don't know if it goes like this actually it was.
Speaker 1:I always have the. I can only think of Casualty. Now you're doing that when I was young.
Speaker 3:I always thought the I can only think of Casualty.
Speaker 2:Now you're doing that.
Speaker 3:When I was young I always thought Rolf Harris played the jokes. He did his music. I always thought I was in live On the didgeridoo. I thought he ended it Like with a saxophone. But imagine, imagine the hospital, like I don't know An animal's dying or something.
Speaker 2:A dog's being put down In the background and he's my saxophone, this little fella.
Speaker 3:I'm afraid we're going to have to put him down what he turns around like. I can imagine that It'd be amazing. But yeah, at a hospital Something I did use to watch, actually, but it was a bit too sad for me I can watch humans die in struggle with animals die in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there were some. There were some happy stories as well, weren't there? They weren't all sad.
Speaker 3:Did he do his, Whatever he used to do. You know he's like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, normally, at the moment they were putting an animal down.
Speaker 3:Get his, not his, ouija board. What do you call that Ouija board? What do you call it? What do you call that board? Fucking didgeridoo. It's like a natural impressionist version of it.
Speaker 2:What?
Speaker 3:She's like a natural impressionist version of it. Why would he saxophone on a Ouija board? Yeah, like he'd do this. What are you? A boss, lighter man.
Speaker 2:Not a Ouija board. You're going to get out the old Ouija board.
Speaker 1:Not a Ouija board Can you guess, if he's dead yet.
Speaker 2:Oh dear.
Speaker 3:What would you call that board? A wobble board or a wiggle board? W wobble board, not a ouija board, anyway, sadly no longer on our screens. Surely like?
Speaker 2:you must be nearly five o'clock now yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3:That's that leads me. Well, it leads me up actually to the news at quarter five, which you know.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I'm going to come at you with so obviously Toy Story 3, because it started at 20 past 11, that's still running right the way through until Not watching it, not watching it.
Speaker 2:We've actually only got four hours to hit you with here, but we've got. It might surprise me. It's something you won't have seen. So there's a film on Minions, the Rise of Gru, yeah yeah. That is on from 1 o'clock until 25 to 3, at which time we get this year's sort of new animation, so the new version of the Gruffalo and all those sort of things, and it's Tiddler, you won't know it.
Speaker 3:Never seen it, never heard of it. Sounds a bit weird.
Speaker 2:Tiddler. Yeah, it's about a fish that gets lost and it's like a. We've got a book I've read it to the girls some about and he told it to a fisherman, who told it to his brother or something. Do you ever?
Speaker 3:do. When you're reading stories out to your kids, you do it in the style like Jack and you were, like massive props and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I used to make myself laugh too much. One of them I was doing Imagine your kids are silent and you've been there cracking up. I won't be on here because it's probably not appropriate, but I was reading. I don't know what it was, but I was doing some Indian character. I was doing a really exaggerated accent, Probably just end it there.
Speaker 3:No, I mean, it was all exaggerated accent Probably just end it there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably just yeah, no, no, I mean, it was all good nature.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all good nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:Go on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, it was, but I was just. I was committing to the accent so much Like the Scottish was so overly Scottish and the Irish was so over the top I laugh as I was doing it so I had to reduce it. You should have recorded it.
Speaker 3:Probably not, not without a lot of editing.
Speaker 2:Go on. So, yeah, we've got Tiddler, which is again. I'll probably watch that. If I'm honest, that moves us into the King's Speech at three, which is ten minutes. I always thought it was longer, but again.
Speaker 3:Has it always been on, then, at three o'clock?
Speaker 2:Because this is at three o'clock, because this is a three o'clock as well, the queen speech in 94, yeah, and apparently it's on bbc2 at the same time as well yeah, it is, yeah, it is, and, and, uh, iv right, it's crazy, like you said, nobody's watching it and it's on every channel. Yeah, then we move into. So I think you quite like this we've got. This is gonna be good, oh, now right.
Speaker 3:I'm just gonna say she's up against whoever it was, we're up against Noel's Christmas presents.
Speaker 2:Well, this is not actually Anne Robinson anymore, this is Ramesh.
Speaker 3:Ranganathan, I'm not interested.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I can imagine him doing quite a good job, because he's quite an angry man, isn't he? I will watch, is it? He won't stand for no nonsense, and that's what it needs. That's the bar that Anne set, I think.
Speaker 3:On our way back from the Paul McCartney gig last week we were laughing his heads off. Have you ever seen the Weakest Link Wrestling special?
Speaker 2:I don't know if I've seen it, or you or Tom, or somebody told me about it, so funny when she goes like so, triple H, all these mad names.
Speaker 3:So, brooker T, I think you're a tough guy there. You're not very tough in this quiz, are you? You are the weakest link. Goodbye, like all these massive muscles.
Speaker 2:Did you say you are the weakest wrestler?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but he's like so, Kane, he's there like in his mask and stuff. You think you're a. That's a brilliant sketch. Actually, mitchell and Webb, you know the ring in the hole. So who's thick? You are the hole in the ring, goodbye.
Speaker 2:And other hole in the ring, goodbye. And he like puts rods on. Yeah I, that's to me that's pretty good. I mean it's it's on for 45 minutes, which takes us into strictly come dancing. Um boring mate used to quite like some of the early ones that I've gone off it now as as a man with dyspraxia, it's almost like they're rubbing it in. Yes, you've seen me dance I'm sad to say I have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've mentioned I'm sure I've mentioned it before'm sure I mentioned it before here when I punched a girl, uh, accidentally, um, when I was dancing, because because I'm obviously really erratic and she would be. I mean I hit her to the ground because I'm not saying I'm I'm a tough guy, but all I'm saying is one punch, boom, straight to the floor.
Speaker 2:So jerky, aren't you like? Yeah? Yeah yeah, that's what I'm trying to think of, yeah yeah, yeah, and that's it actually that takes us right up to five, so there's not actually that much there. We've got minions, king's beach, uh, and we've got the weakest link and strictly, come dancing well, the only one I've watched there.
Speaker 3:I mean you're up against, to be fair, a lot. You're up against eastenders, top of the pops, no, noel's Christmas Presents and Animal Hospital. The only thing I've watched there is the weakest link above Noel's Christmas.
Speaker 2:Presents. Yeah, I think I'm going to go with you. Actually, I think we've established Noel. Despite being an irritating man, it's quite a good watch. There's some quite nice moments in that Animal Hospital. Yeah, just as a. You're never, never, gonna get another chance to see that on tv again can't get, until you live for love, the money carrying our off-hairs so yeah, I'm going retro, I'm, I'm going with your tv times so I've gone for two.
Speaker 3:It's two nil for me at the moment, so in 94 you've got one one and now we're getting into what I class as the main part of the day we're going for um five o'clock till nine o'clock. This is where I think you've had your breakfast. I think five till nine and then nine till yeah, and then nine till 12 as the night all right.
Speaker 3:This is why I think you I don't know what everyone does like I normally go to my nan's at night, or and this is where you sort of you've got, you've had your dinner, you're oh, I'm knackered, but probably having a few beers, aren't you?
Speaker 2:if anything, and if you just say, a few beers, plenty, of, plenty of sort of stuff with plenty of food and a bit chilled out and just like, yeah, sprawl out.
Speaker 3:See what's on telly maybe kids are playing with the new toys or whatever and you're just sat there. I ain't got kids. I don't have them in my house. I don't want anyone to be thinking things about that.
Speaker 2:I played a. Rolf Harris theme so far away from the theme. By the way, You've taken the actual theme from my head. It doesn't go like that it's.
Speaker 3:That is casual, isn't it? Yeah, I think so, yeah it makes sense if you did play casual anyway, anyway, so 455, so it's just before 455, but it overlaps the wrong trousers, which I presume is Wallace and Gromit. Yeah, it is, yeah, yeah, hilarious Oscar winning animation. It says I've never seen it.
Speaker 2:So that's actually, that's interesting then, because that so 94, you're between. So that's a repeat the playback. The previous Christmas, the first time that was shown was 93, and then the close shave was 95. So you're so one of your peak shows. There is actually a repeat of the one from the previous year.
Speaker 3:Yeah, get some new ideas. And now this I'm just looking down at now. This might be my second, maybe third best show in the entire list of 94. 525, Keeping Up Appearances? Yeah, Absolutely, we're going to do an episode. This is genuinely one of the best comedies pre-94. Yeah, it's fantastic, she is.
Speaker 2:I might have told you this before, but, patricia, I can't say it. Patricia Routledge was an absolute phenomenon of comedy and there was, do you know, like when sort of the big American sitcoms were kicking off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't remember.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's like.
Speaker 3:Frasier and stuff. Oh right, sorry Before that. Oh right, yeah.
Speaker 2:There was one of the writers. Big writers wanted to create a show for her in America but she kind of couldn't make it work and didn't want to be over there. But they thought that much of her talent and her talking head from what's his name? I normally come round Wednesdays. What's his name? Anyway, the talking head she does Alan Bennett. Alan Bennett.
Speaker 3:I normally come round Wednesdays. All the things that Alan Bennett's written. I normally come round Wednesdays.
Speaker 2:I think that could easily be in an Alan Bennett play Alan.
Speaker 1:Bennett.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyway. Yeah, sorry, A bit of a tangent. I'm a huge fan of Patricia Routledge.
Speaker 3:I can't think. I think I've seen every episode.
Speaker 2:It's not the cruise one, though, is it? No, but it is a new one.
Speaker 3:It's not a repeat, it's a Christmas special. This is where Hyacinth is planning a new kitchen and kind of letting all the neighbours know about it by advertising it in the local paper, which I think will be amazing. I love this. Him, Richard, I can't remember his name now. Did you see that interview he did A couple of years ago where he came across as unbelievably rude? But people were saying like what are you in? I can't remember. We'll have to talk If you ever do. Keeper of.
Speaker 2:Perseverance. Richard, do you want to do it? I might have to do it.
Speaker 3:Big tick there, early, early doors I can imagine this one, and I don't know if I've seen it, but sheridan has phoned. He's seen it in the paper. So good, you're doing what, sheridan?
Speaker 2:a little facial expressions are amazing like that's such a good gag in it it comes up he either wants money or there's some sort of connotation that he might be gay. And how much he sort of panics and flutters her eyes straight away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, brilliant you're in bed with four other men. It's absolutely amazing. And then we come. What I reckon a lot of people would say is the, the sort of the. I don't think this, but it's east vendors at quarter past six, which I think it's really early. I don't know what time it's on in your yeah, I'm late or not.
Speaker 3:Grant is goading Sharon to the limit and I've seen a clip of this. I don't know if we're going to play any clips in this episode, so I don't know if we're getting it out in time, but he's basically throwing plates on the floor like going jingle bash, bell jingle bash.
Speaker 2:Why is it so depressing? Depressing Is this the one where they play the tape that?
Speaker 3:she's been having an affair with Phil, or is that earlier or later? That's Max, isn't it what we did last Christmas?
Speaker 2:No, there's a bit where they play tape where they're saying something about Sharon's been having an affair with Phil. I don't know, it might be wrong there.
Speaker 3:This is going to be one of Grant's last maybe his last Christmas on the square, I would have thought.
Speaker 2:He must have been leaving around this time Before he went off doing his like Grant on gangs and stuff.
Speaker 3:Grant on gangs. Ross Kemp on gangs. Yeah, so why is it so depressing? Because I don't remember. I don't think Coronation Street is depressing on Christmas, but I think EastEnders is really depressing. I'll tell you what's going on on Coronation Street. By the way, not at the same time, obviously, they don't like to overlap but Coronation Street Curly and his pretend fiancée are now engaged. I don't even know what that means, but I love that as a like More light-hearted, though straight away yeah more light-hearted.
Speaker 3:yeah, curly Watts, what a character he were. Cur Curly Watts, do you remember his musical career?
Speaker 2:yeah, vaguely remember that he had one. I can't remember what he did. Did he release a single?
Speaker 3:yeah, in a bull dog nation, yeah, fucking. No, not that good. And then the film which takes us up to what did it say? Nine o'clock is the cut off. Yeah, you've given a nine o'clock cut off. It's Robin Hood, prince of Thieves, which I've not seen, and that's all the way up to nine, is it? That's all the way up to nine. Keeping Up Appearances EastEnders. Oh, sorry, wrong Trousers. Keeping Up Appearances, eastenders. And Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
Speaker 2:So I think you've gone strong there. I think that I'm not too fussed about EastEnd, think is is quite strong, so I'm going to start with. So we've got a doctor who ah shit, of course, yeah, um, obviously, oh, come on. What's his name? Uh, cutie gap. Where's the doctor now?
Speaker 3:yeah, um, I don't watch it, not true? But it's one of those things, that it's another one of those things at christmas day but we're on about saturday kitchen last week um, it's always on the background like christmas day. I think I've always, I think I might have watched every christmas day episode in the background yeah, I would watch that.
Speaker 2:I mean, I kind of went off a bit in a capaldi era, which is weird, because I really like capaldi but I didn't like sort of some of the stories there and I I tenant, was, was my doctor who, um, but yeah, I would certainly watch that if it was on. We've come to probably the big hitter this year on all channels it's the front page of the radio times and it's the brand new wallace and gromit vengeance most foul is it about cheese and stuff?
Speaker 2:feature length one cracking cheese gromit. No, it's um. So you won't know, but in the this dog's been going ages.
Speaker 3:He's about 40, this dog. What's going on?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's probably set. You've been telling me about fucking Jetsons in the Flintstones. This is just a dog. This is about 20 years old.
Speaker 3:That is more realistic than a 40 year old dog. The fact there could be another civilisation. Above all, that is more realistic than a 40 year old dog.
Speaker 2:Well, this is the story of so feathers mcgraw was the bad guy in the wrong trousers. He's a penguin who puts a glove on his head and everyone thinks he's a chicken. Um, genuinely, genuinely, no irony. Really looking forward to this, can't, can't wait.
Speaker 3:It's probably the one thing then because it's up against the wrong trouser.
Speaker 2:So I suppose we can't really judge that, because we don't know which is the best one no, but this is like a feature film and also, yeah, that's been shown for the second year. This is brand new this year that's fair, that's a tick for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a tick for then we've got.
Speaker 2:EastEnders, so yeah same the Beall family festivities are ruined by the shocking truth. And it just says more later on, so there is more in my evening schedule, ah, but it wasn't being up to.
Speaker 3:Any idea what he's been up to? Beale the squeal? No, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No doubt, I think that's an affair.
Speaker 3:Is he an affair, man?
Speaker 2:Beale.
Speaker 3:I don't really want.
Speaker 2:I've never really followed these things, it's more plausible a 40-year-old dog than that Beale the Squeal keeps having affairs, isn't it. Yeah, that's true, he was never a looker, was he? No, no, anyway, it must be in his 60s.
Speaker 3:Beale, do you think it's got to be? I mean, he's in this episode of EastEnders. I'm just looking at the cast now.
Speaker 2:It's 30 years ago.
Speaker 3:He must have been 30 then. Remember Arthur Brilliant.
Speaker 2:I didn't get confused one year. I'm laughing, wasn't it quite a sad one.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I know what you're saying. That scene where he goes mad on Christmas Day.
Speaker 2:He's packed with a pan of summer. Don't know, I don't know where he is.
Speaker 3:I don't know if he's got dementia, if he's just having a break, I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2:But Arthur, so yeah, and then just to close out the session, which is not something I watch, and it's called the Midwife- Never seen it.
Speaker 3:My mum is a big fan of this and she'll be watching that. I would have thought.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has a huge following. It's part one of two, so I presume the next one's on the next night. But it's a bit of a letdown for me that final piece of the King of.
Speaker 3:War, so we've got two similar ones. There. We've got EastEnders and Wallace and Gromit, but your Wallace and Gromit wins Keeping up appearances versus what would you say?
Speaker 2:I'm going keeping up appearances, I think.
Speaker 3:Well then you've got Robin Hood, prince of Thieves, up against Cole the Midwife, the battle of the Titans.
Speaker 2:Robin Hood, prince of Thieves. You won't know. It's Robin Hood, prince of the East. You won't know. It's a really good film.
Speaker 3:I would watch that for me. I would watch Robin Hood because I've never seen Call the Midwife.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think all I've got really is Wallace and Gromit, which is as much as I really want to watch that. I can watch that again another time, I think if I've got to sit and watch this particular time slot. I think I'm going retro again.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm going to say, if you want to as well, is that if you're in the 94 room and you have to stay in one, you're getting you all this engramic fix. It might be an old one, but you think oh yeah, I'd still watch it. Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean Then you've got Hyacinth, mr Bouquet, speaking.
Speaker 2:I think Keep your Appearance is the swing for me.
Speaker 3:So that's 3-0 for me. So it's already won for me, but yours are still in the balance, because it's 2-1 tonight 2-1,.
Speaker 2:yeah, so I could still draw with this sort of the evening, the twilight shift.
Speaker 3:I've got two absolute belters for the night shift, but this is, I think I remember at least one thing that you've got. But at 9 o'clock it's one foot in the grave and it's a new episode. It's a good start. The meldrews visit the garden center, um, but their world is about to be turned upside down after they discover something green and nasty in the back of their car and it is not a plastic duck. Yeah, what's he gonna be up to, meldrew? I?
Speaker 2:don't remember that one either. So I'm certainly I might see it once it starts, but from the description I don't remember this. I don't remember that one either. So I'm certainly I might have seen it once it starts, but from the description I don't remember it.
Speaker 3:Does he say that in every episode, by the way, or is it? Is it a bit like Mavis? I don't really know. She said it once, oh no, he certainly does say it.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's in every episode, but yeah, doesn't say he does say yeah, repeating the story about that kid.
Speaker 3:That, I think, is all of him. You can't say that that's the nice catchphrase. You can't say that you can't say that and then at 9 40 is something that I genuinely might go back and watch. Um and it's um. This is a again, it's new and it's on for an hour and it's victoria wood live um a one-woman show, um stand-up comedy on the royals, mp, celebrity moments, weddings, childbirth and other matters. I've been after reading this schedule. I've been looking at some victoria wood stuff. Do you know where songs are genuinely fantastic?
Speaker 2:oh, don't start playing this car. I've been telling you for ages we should I know you are for a wood card I like victoria.
Speaker 3:I've always liked her. I've always liked her.
Speaker 2:You've never been as enthusiastic as I have, so don't start playing.
Speaker 3:You're the Victoria Wood fan you've never told me how good her songs are well, I've told you how good her shows are and how funny she is, so yeah it's part of it did you know, when I read first things she did a play called talent and then there was a song on it called 14 again and morrissey uh based russian ruffians off meet his murder album around that song and it is very similar. It's like about a fairground, the last night of the fair, but obviously it's more like upbeat. But they're all tinged with proper sadness, aren't they?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're kind of lyrically quite clever. They're often quite daft, but yeah, there's normally sort of quite sad undertones to it.
Speaker 3:A genuine genius.
Speaker 2:I think I'm going to struggle to beat that, because I would quite happily watch that right now.
Speaker 3:I think I first saw Victoria Wood and the audience with Victoria Wood. I want to say like 93.
Speaker 1:I saw her first.
Speaker 3:I saw her first. I saw her first. But do you remember? The first memory of mine with Victoria Award is remember that ballad of Frieda and Barry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:You Can't Do it. Is that the most famous song? Because I always think about that.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't do it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you shouldn't do it. That line was like smack me on the bottom with a woman's weekly.
Speaker 2:Let's do it tonight, brilliant yeah, that's probably one of the more famous ones, isn't it? But yeah, there's loads of sort of clever stuff she did, she did like, like, like I've sort of. They're kind of gone now, aren't they like just a general entertainer, not not just a stand-up like a comic, a musician? An actor yeah, yeah, like proper sort of but you wrote plays and everything didn't.
Speaker 3:There must be people out there. But Imagine Michael McIntyre trying to write a play mate. Imagine him trying to write a gag.
Speaker 2:I think he's got a team of writers.
Speaker 3:To be honest, I saw him once live at a festival. He was pretty good. I don't know why I picked him out. Maybe Joe Osher would pick out who's the worst stand-up comedian on TV. I don't know. Tell you what I'm surprised about in this. By the way, no, jim Davidson. On Christmas Day he was a staple of TV, weren't I?
Speaker 2:Is this like pre-accusations? Well, I don't know if he's ever been accused of anything other than being a bit of a dinosaur haven't.
Speaker 3:I yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he used to be all over TV like certainly 95, 96 and stuff like that, but maybe just before he got his big break. You get it. Yeah, it's only a game. Yeah, so that leads us up to half ten. So after you, liam, for the. Oh no, we're going to 12, aren't we? Sorry, we're going to 12. Yeah, we're going right the way through till midnight.
Speaker 2:Well, this might you've just got Victoria Wood on on.
Speaker 3:You get the news. You're feeling good. You're not gonna like it, it's more.
Speaker 2:Come a wise christmas show obviously repeat, uh, at 10, 40. Yeah, I mean, I think I did it on. Was it overrated? Yeah, get rid of it. Yeah, yeah, get rid of it maybe. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not against the idea of it being on at christmas. I think that's fine. I I don't mind that. It's good family fun at Christmas, although I think, like the older people have gone home by then. Like it's what do you mean? They've gone home.
Speaker 3:Well, it's like that's like one, for I'm going home grandparents they're not still there at that time if they've got in a taxi or they've walked back, or whatever well, to be fair, though, like I normally go to my nan's um, but you know, my nan she's like 88 and she's fitter than I am, but she'll, she'll be, all you know, and it drinks out of this time, but I, yeah, it's not for me to be fair, um. And then we've got christmas spirit, which is an offbeat look about the joys of christmas, which is only on for five minutes. And then the day ends with the film trading places, with mr eddie murphy and, uh, dan akaroid Aykroyd in it. I've never seen it. I'm pretty sure it's Dan Aykroyd. Yeah, trading Places Eddie Murphy, dan Aykroyd. And that concludes Christmas on BBC.
Speaker 3:And Jamie Lee Curtis is in it as well Interesting. So what you got, what's this Christmas? So by?
Speaker 2:the way. That's a good end, that, Because I think that's just snuck in just before midnight, hasn't it?
Speaker 3:Half eleven. Yeah, so the people listening who are listening, you know have thrown the Christmas dinner out of the window to make sure they listen to our new episode. This is what they need to know, liam. What is on now? What is on next for them?
Speaker 2:Well, no, they've already had some of that. So like Wallace and Cromwell and stuff like that was on and stuff like that was on, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're not going to realistically do it straight, but they might. You know everything's ended a bit. Put your earphones on, Maidly's out Boom.
Speaker 2:Right, so at nine o'clock, and I think this will intrigue a few. I think we were surprised by how good it was when we watched it back. So we've got Gavin and Stacey the finale, Ah yeah.
Speaker 3:I didn't know that were on Christmas Day actually.
Speaker 2:Christmas Day 9 till 10.30. I think that it's difficult, isn't it? Because obviously you can't have seen that before, so that does add a level of intrigue to it. You'll be the first to watch it.
Speaker 3:I'll probably watch that, the last one. I mean it's really hard, isn't it? Because it's one of those comedies that is so easy to hate. We mentioned this on the sitcom World Cup that we did. It's so easy to hate mainly because of James Corden. I've been seeing some interviews with Matthew Horne. He's aged quite a lot, hasn't he? I mean, we all age, but Horne, he looks so much older than Corden at the moment. Obviously, he's got the. La looks.
Speaker 2:I've never been a fan of.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I don't know. For me Gavin and Stacey's a really, really good comedy. The fact it's getting primetime BBC one at half-night like an hour and a half special, in the same way that the Royal Family did and stuff like that I don't. For me it got further than the Royal Family and our sitcom World Cup, but for me personally it's not on that level. Like I'm looking at me the Christmas special, like what they put on at that time in 94, with One Foot in the Grave, which is a proper classic, I think. Gavin and Stacey to me just a nice little comedy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm with you in a sense that I think One Foot in the Grave is a personal favourite, but I think it does appeal to the masses. I think Gavin and Stacey, we follow it up with and it's remember now this is post 9 o'clock so they can be more, more explicit or whatever. So we'll be should we be? Around. No, it's EastEnders. Half past ten, half ten, yeah, I don't know if it's done so there'll be a swear word does it tell you what's it, what's happening?
Speaker 2:well, do you know what's crazy? Bear in mind this is 30 years after yours. Sharon worries about Phil once she gets a delivery from Albie.
Speaker 3:Get some new characters. Enders, what are you doing? Could?
Speaker 2:be the same episode, couldn't it?
Speaker 3:40 years ago she was arguing with Graham, and now she's arguing with Phil, 30 years later.
Speaker 2:Now she's arguing with Phil about a present from Albie. Do you remember when? We did the roadshow at Chabstown and we saw posters for Albie Senior, a comic who does. He dresses in a Union Jack suit and there's a warning on the poster that says something like not for the snowflakes, or something like that, not for the snowflakes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, albie Senior, not for the snowflakes. I've watched a bit of his comedy since we came back. Well, fucking, some people like it. It's so shit. It's really shit. If it's him sending it, I'm watching it if he's coming in. All right mate fucking hell, I'll be seeing you, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then we go on to something probably incredibly divisive, because I haven't yet to meet anyone who really loves this, but it has a huge following. So it's the Mrs Brown's Boys special.
Speaker 3:Oh, fucking awful. This has been banned, hasn't it? But it's not, has it? It's half an hour.
Speaker 2:It's part one of two and it's called Ding Dong Mammy, oh Christ.
Speaker 3:You know, what. I've never seen a full episode of Mrs Brown's Boys. I've obviously seen him going fucking hell. What the fuck's going on here? Yeah, I've never watched it because well, maybe I'm a snob, I don't know but it's got that bad reviews. I just think I'm not gonna waste my time with this, but I might watch it this christmas I might I might give it a go honestly. If I'm not doing anything, I might honestly give mrs brown's boys a go and see what it. See what it yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I've had it on a few times. I mean obviously I probably should mention I have some Irish heritage in my family. Really yeah. So I feel that I should sort of do my part and watch it get the view.
Speaker 3:Watch Mrs Brown's Boys. For the Irish community it's a bit like you're relegating Ireland to Mrs Brown's Boys.
Speaker 2:No, I just think like, make sure it's represented, Just make sure the viewing numbers are there. So I do watch it now and again.
Speaker 3:I don't think they need it, judging by the views that they get. It's one of the fucking biggest comedies like of all time. Well, yeah, but if I stop watching, who knows who knows where it goes next.
Speaker 2:Critical acclaim comes next it. But yeah, no, it's all right. That's all I can say for it is. It's not. It's not the sort of terrible comedy that some people think it is. There's some obvious jokes. There's some very clear jokes. There's bits where he breaks character and talks to the audience that feel a bit forced and deliberate, because the problem is though, but yeah, it's not bad.
Speaker 2:It's not a huge ending to the to the day for me, though. We then go on to the news and yeah, I can't, I can't have the. There's a midnight film called Marry Me, but it falls after midnight, so never seen it. Who's in it? Erm, don't know, but it's directed by Cat Corio.
Speaker 3:Nah, I don't know who he is, erm. So yeah, this is a clear win for 94,. Mate One foot in the grave and Victoria Ward in a row. I know it is. That's an hour and a half of gold. You've got Gavin and Stacey for an hour and a half.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I could sort of go up against you a little bit with the one foot in the grave. I personally prefer one foot in the grave, but I think Gavin and Stacey possibly has greater appeal, so I think I can match you there. But Victoria Ward going up against EastEnders and Mrs Brown's boys 94 takes to it.
Speaker 3:So it's actually one foot in the grave, isn't it? For me, it's 4-0. 4-0. And I did not expect that. I really didn't expect that, and I've gone 3-1. And I don't think this is us being angry. What we've tried to do, or I've tried to do, is not be like everyone. Oh, but everyone. Better in my day, because I hate all that sort of stuff, but if you're judging it realistically, it was better in my day.
Speaker 2:Realistically, it was better back in our day, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so BBC.
Speaker 2:The only thing I'd say is that the Wallace and Gromit this year. If we were just choosing shows from the two sort of here's your two schedules, pick your shows, your five shows you want to watch this year's Wallace and Gromit would be right up near the top. For me, the problem is the rest of the top five are probably all made up from 94.
Speaker 3:Incredible, isn't it? We'll do some honourable mentions on other sides. Like I say, we just did the BBC because the others are not as good, really, to be honest. But on BBC Two the only real thing, that's two things that stood out to me was D-Day Remembered at ten past one. I probably would watch that.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure if that's on my schedule somewhere, or I might have seen it on yours, I'm not sure.
Speaker 3:It's highlight, but I don't think it is. It says this can't be right. Highlights of the Normandy landings Action replay. Highlights of the Normandy landings. I don't think TV times have quite got that, unless this is like messed up from my view of it. That's what it is, though. Definitely Highlights of the money, landings and the other thing that's 5.25, the carpenters at the BBC, yeah, I noticed that actually I would watch that.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I thought it's just if we were doing BBC 2 as well alright so at 9 o'clock, obviously, you've got One Foot in the Grave.
Speaker 2:I've got Gavin and Stacey. If we were going to include BBC 2, though and this probably is what I will watch this year I might even watch this, and then Gavin and Stacey will catch up from Roger Moore with Love. So it's chronic. The man who rose from a shy London schoolboy and a knitwear model to the small screen heartthrob before taking on the iconic role of James Bond Definitely want to watch that.
Speaker 3:I might have seen one of them, but I've seen a few of the Bonds. To be fair, Not a big Bond man, but I've seen a few of them. What was that? One where Pierce Brosnan pulls at his tie when he's underwater as if he's not bothered at all.
Speaker 2:I've seen that one anyway, Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies. I don't know.
Speaker 3:It's one of them. He's underwater and you think, oh, he's going to die, and he just straightens his tie out. It's just ridiculous. I don't think that is what happens, is it?
Speaker 2:I'm sure that's what happens. It must be some sort of breathing. I don't think he just straightens his tie you know when Trump pushes that Montenegro president out of the way and then does like that with.
Speaker 3:that's what he does underwater, and then he can breathe. But then he just comes back up for air, like he's just to say is that all you've got, not interested?
Speaker 1:not worried mate.
Speaker 3:The other things that like stand out. For me, rev is really bad. There's just loads of films. Mary Poppins you don't need to see it. I've never seen it. Don't want to see it. Sleeping Beauty I know the story. Why would I watch the film Kisses that woman, and it's a bit weird. Now the only thing that really stands out for me in ITV is Christmas Blind Date. That's mainly because the brother of Jason Orange is on it. That's the celebrity. It's not even celebrity Brian Date, though. It's just him.
Speaker 2:He's just on it, you can pick Jason Orange out of a line up. Who's the one?
Speaker 3:I think is he the sort of longer haired man? No, that's Donald, isn't it Howard? Donald looks a bit like.
Speaker 2:I couldn't tell you what Jason Orange looks like. Who?
Speaker 3:does never forget who's the lead singer that that's howard donald in it. Yeah, I think that's howard, so I think he's the better one out of the two anyways, brothers is the star of the show on that one.
Speaker 2:Um yeah, itv for me is not great either. I've got an av. They don't even put an effort in, are they? I'm low, two is not bad, I've got. I've got a bullseye. Freddie flintoff presented bullseye, which is is not bad Might be as good as yeah. And then I don't think this is a repeat, I think this is new. So there's a Downton Abbey film on at nine and now I'm guessing that will intrigue lots of people Not me, but I'm guessing lots of people would be up for that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not for me. Channel 4, in the morning. I think this is what I'll be watching, Because it's got Say by the Bell on Two episodes of Say by the Bell no just Say, by the Bell Wake up in the morning and I do the bed and see the whiny, so I'll probably be watching that in the morning. They've also got Zig and Zag. If you're interested in Zig and Zag, they have got the snowman on channel 4 because obviously ah, right, ok, it's interesting yeah.
Speaker 2:I've got that as well, actually, and the snow sorry snowman and the snow dog and the snowman and the tiger who comes to tea, and the bear. So yeah, I've got all that sort of things on channel 4 this year yeah, and there's nothing else.
Speaker 3:Numb's on the run is the film of the night.
Speaker 2:I've got Bake Off, I've got this kind of intrigues me how bad it sounds actually. So five past seven, the piano at Christmas. Claudia Winkleman, mika and Lang Lang bring their travelling piano to Battersea Power Station. Mika.
Speaker 1:Is he still going?
Speaker 2:I could be green, I could be blue. I don't mind that. I think it's a good song but I didn't know.
Speaker 3:You know, maybe I'm out of the problem.
Speaker 2:I mean, these aren't bad, they're obviously not for you. But film wise, channel 4, they've gone fairly sort of fairly decent. Actually you've got Italian Job, which maybe you've seen. That is that one you might have seen.
Speaker 3:I'm afraid not, is it Michael Caine?
Speaker 2:you got a blabber blabber yeah that's it.
Speaker 3:I've never seen it. I've obviously heard.
Speaker 2:Miracle on 34th Street. We've got Raiders of the Lost Ark in Indiana Jones. You've seen that.
Speaker 3:I don't think so. I've probably seen it on the background. It's on every Christmas, isn't it?
Speaker 2:seems to be Notting Hill and East is East.
Speaker 3:I think I might have seen Notting Hill. I was getting mixed up. I've done this when we did a Christmas film Notting Hill and what's the other one? Notting Hill and, oh boy, no, the other one, richard Curtis. What's the one where? Or Weddings, what's the one where We've had this conversation this time?
Speaker 2:last year. Yeah, probably word for word actually.
Speaker 3:What's the one where he holds them? Signs up saying I love you or whatever, and she gives him a kiss.
Speaker 2:Is that Love?
Speaker 3:Actually, is that Love Actually? Yeah, I think. What's Notting Hill? I'm just a girl stood in front of a guy. Notting Hill is Julia Roberts' song. Yeah, I have seen that.
Speaker 2:I have seen that Rhys Ephans comes out in his pants.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have seen that one.
Speaker 2:I have seen that one won't watch it again okay, so yeah, not that blown away really very quick skim through channel five.
Speaker 3:In fact, no channel five, in that I thought no channel, all right you've.
Speaker 2:You've got nothing to compare to nothing but nothing.
Speaker 3:That's just just the four channels. I presume sky tv was on and stuff obviously this is.
Speaker 2:This is not a bad call for sort of middle of the day, so one till three britain's favorite christmas songs.
Speaker 3:Andrew and Andrew Ridgely counts down with the hits from a ski lodge ooh, I wonder what number one is going to be in that if Andrew Ridgely's doing it yeah, there are sing-alongs from Mariah Carey Slade and Band-Aid sing-alongs I used to love Christmas songs and I've proper gone off them. I think my favourite at the moment, other than Fairytale, is Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses.
Speaker 2:Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, yeah there's a new, I think it's that Ariana Grande that you can listen to. That's actually quite good, because I've not heard it year after year after year. It's something I quite like. Yeah, that's it. I think we've decided we were going to make a judgement, weren we should you pay a license fee and I think.
Speaker 3:I'm afraid the answer is no, um, there is no point. Or if you're not going to pay it, don't. Don't pay it on christmas day, like I don't know. You know, I think it's a good way to say if it's gone downhill or not. There's no. I think the bbc has gone downhill. Obviously it's got much more competition now, but you know, I thought this year's Christmas it's not terrible. It is a bit of a sad state of affairs.
Speaker 2:Isn't it when you know? That is absolutely genuine. If this year's TV and 30 years ago TV are on in two different rooms, we're generally speaking, well, certainly in every circumstance for you, we're going to go and watch it from 30 years ago. Some of that is just remembering things. I don't think it is.
Speaker 3:I don't think that is nostalgia, because no, I don't actually, to be honest. No, I've not seen.
Speaker 2:Better, isn't it?
Speaker 3:It is just better, there's nothing. There's nothing there where I think, oh, I genuinely can't remember that Fools and Orsers Foot in the Grave and Keeping Up Appearances episodes. I've watched both of them before Gavin and Stacey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it. You've got Victoria Ward One Foot in the Grave and Keeping Up Appearances. You've got three fantastic comedies all on the day there. I just can't compete with you. So decision made, verdict was cast, tv was better. But now, and we all know, you're waiting for the major speech that's coming up imminently. But before we do that, because we want to finish on that, let's talk about the next episode. We're squeezing in another festive episode. It's going to be a bullseye one. And, andrew, which episode are we covering?
Speaker 3:Well, it is another request from the major, actually, so it's Bullseye 1. And, andrew, which episode are we covering? Well, it is another request from the Major, actually, so it's Bullseye Series 11, christmas Special 22nd of the 12th 1991. It is on YouTube. I've not watched it yet, but the Major says it's genuinely excellent.
Speaker 2:I've watched it yeah. It's brilliant.
Speaker 3:Is it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I won't sort of give anything away, but it's mad actually, yeah, but yeah, we'll cover that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's the next episode, and we're going to leave you now, I think, with the Major himself and his message.
Speaker 2:Take off your flat caps. Stand if you want to. That's your own decision.
Speaker 3:Flat caps. What do you think this is? Yeah, you know like people sort of yeah, but it's not fucking 1944. I know one person who wears a flat cap Travelling Blade and he purely does it because it's his gimmick. I don't know anyone who wears a flat cap anymore.
Speaker 2:Well, stand, if you will. Here is probably the most important thing you'll hear this year, and it's the Christmas message from Major Charles himself.
Speaker 5:I would like to wish all listeners of the Living With Madeley podcast a very Merry Christmas. What a year it's been for Britain's number one nostalgia-based podcast, with the best British sitcom of the last 30 years being crowned and a new Richard and Judy documentary on Channel 5 being amongst the highlights. We can move forward to next year, where we hope the boffins in science labs up and down the country can put their heads together and find a cure for dyspraxia. It is important to stay topical in the year of 2024, which is why I've done this in the voice of Chris Eubank. I tried a Paul O'Grady one too, but that just didn't work. Hey, all right, buster hey.
Speaker 5:I began by researching this speech by studying last year's Christmas message from His Majesty the King, and then proceeded to stop this on account of his woke PC leanings and instead listened to a proper Christmas message from a man who this time last year claimed he was going to write a Christmas number one in 2024, once claimed to bin all Christmas cards with a second-class stamp on them and said that Christmas was a very hard time for mistresses. The seeker of truth and justice himself, mike Porky Parry, the Porkmeister, who will now play out this very festive Christmas message.
Speaker 1:Porkmeister. This is what we want to achieve in 2012. God rest England. Footballers. And this is what I say let's win the Champions League in Munich Town and May, and then we'll go to Poland. And this is what I say win the European Trophy for England, make our day. Win the European Trophy for England, make our day.
Speaker 4:Thank you, mike Parry, and thank you to the Living With Maidley podcast. It was very difficult to do a full speech in the style of Chris Eubank which was dated, even for this podcast. Thank you, happy New Year, merry Christmas. Please donate to the Darren. Baby Boy Byfield is the most 2003 footballer of the year award for 2024. Justgivingcom forward slash page forward slash babyboybyfield. Thank you.
Speaker 3:God save the Major.
Speaker 1:Living with Maidley.
Speaker 2:If anyone wants to get in touch with us, send us anything. Find us on Twitter at livingwithmaid1. Or you can send us an email at livingwithmaidleyatoutlookcom.