Mark's cancer diagnosis

Join us as we experience a deeply personal narrative of healing, resilience, and exploration in this compelling episode of Surviving Changes. Mark shares his unexpected journey beginning with a colorectal cancer diagnosis that brought an 11% survival rate and a plethora of life-altering emotions. Every twist of this story beckons listeners to reflect on the intertwining aspects of belief, community, and alternative healing methods. Take a seat as Mark and Heidi discuss how meaningful conversations and the natural world—especially the energetic properties of crystals—can lead us towards healing.

Through personal anecdotes and profound insights, this episode aims to encourage those facing challenges to harness the power of connection and belief in their healing journeys. Witness how Mark navigated through the shadows of fear, self-doubt, and societal expectations to illuminate a personal truth that keeps him alive and thriving today. This episode becomes a tapestry of inspiration and insight, inviting everyone to explore their paths to healing and growth.

Are you navigating your own journey of survival? What connects you to the healing process? Dive into this episode and share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings as we walk together on this transformative path. Don’t forget to subscribe for more stories of hope, resilience, and the human spirit’s enduring strength.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:01

Hello everyone. This is Heidi and Mark, and this is the Surviving Changes podcast. Hi, everybody. So where we left off was I was heading back. I had just done time in the big four days for auto theft and I'm heading back now to see Mark. He's just been diagnosed with cancer and he's asked me to come back for just a little bit of time but that was before the big house to help with the energy stuff, and so that's where we're at. Okay, Mark, tell me about, tell me about. I guess, tell them about.

Introduction to Our Journey

Speaker 2 0:54

Um, like your diagnosis and stuff and then we'll go from there. Well, I had, just as it's relevant to me, I had, in the year previous, lost a 14-year relationship and then started working out and getting in shape and exercising and really trying to take care of myself. I'd lost like 90 pounds in nine months and was feeling pretty good about myself and then started having some issues. Went in and I don't like doctors, like many people, but went in as a doctor, went through a bunch of stuff, ended up getting diagnosed with colorectal cancer and they gave me an 11% chance of surviving five years. That was in March of 2018. And it was the biggest thing that I took away was that the doctor annoyed me because he delivered it like I had a cold sore and that really grated on me. But the interesting thing was that I never really got that foreboding sense of doom. It landed on me that I was going to have a war, a battle, but I never accepted that. What they said was true, that I didn't have a very good chance of surviving.

Speaker 2 2:36

All that being said, I knew that I wanted to put everything in my favor that I possibly could. I was born and raised in church, christian, all of that and in that exposure I had been to full gospel churches that speak in tongues and lay on of hands of healing, and I'd seen healings take place. So I was, at least at some level, open to the possibility that there was more power out there than we tapped into. I don't know how to really say that power out there than we tapped into. I don't know how to really say that, but, like Heidi has said, when she was on her journey around the globe, she had experienced some things in Australia and it piqued my curiosity. So, under the context of putting everything in my favor that I possibly could, I wanted to learn more about it and I knew that talking on the phone well, you've all heard Heidi talk and having a meaningful conversation on the phone with her that got to where I wanted to get was going to be hard and the uh, the uh.

Speaker 2 4:05

Yeah, a little selfishness there on my part. Mental meanderings get hard to follow, but I love you, heidi, I love you too was to get her up here where we could sit down and talk and and originally it was, the thought was just for a few days, maybe a week or something, and I, and I think it ended up gosh, I don't even remember it a couple of months probably, um, before you headed back South, um.

Speaker 1 4:39

I headed so I can tell you because you I'm sure you know the dates. So I was there because we'll tell the crystal deal. Oh, it just made a weird noise. I was making sure nothing shut off. Okay, we'll tell the crystal deal. But so I know that I left shortly, remember, because I didn't show up to court for my very first court hearing on the car thing, because it was your very. Was it your very first radiation? It wasn't. It was my second court hearing that I took off, so it had to have been like two months, probably two months.

Speaker 2 5:18

Yeah, that's probably about right.

Speaker 1 5:20

I think you had finished your radiation, you had finished something. You had just done your final something. I do know that.

Speaker 2 5:29

It would have had to been radiation because my surgery was May 14th and then I started radiation after that and that went for six weeks. I know you went with me to go when I had minor surgery to get the port put in right In Spokane.

Speaker 1 5:45

Uh-huh, yeah, but you did all your radiation all on your own. Yeah, yeah, but I did wait. I know that I remember consciously filing waiting because now that I was already there and with all the shit that was going on, and now that I was a potential felon, I had no place to stay anymore. I remember filing that I would at least stay through radiation to make sure everything was okay in my head, but I think it was a little past then.

Speaker 2 6:18

But anyway, yeah, because it took a little bit to coordinate the van and all that. Who's a, what's it?

Speaker 1 6:24

and get things going.

Speaker 2 6:26

The wig committee I'll do a podcast on the wig committee in and of themselves, so so, okay, so anyway so I I coerced my sister who wasn't working into going down to get you First, my sister who wasn't working into going down to get you and bring you back.

Speaker 1 6:56

And because she likes road trips and it seemed like a good thing and ended up, ultimately, there was some baggage that came out of that whole scenario. There always is.

Speaker 2 7:04

No good deed goes unpunished. Yeah, isn't that the truth? But yeah, so you came up and hung out and we spent hours and hours sitting in my garage Me and my comfy office chair that I had out in the garage, just talking and exploring things, and me trying to understand and accept a possibility that was beyond my mortal comprehension. Does that sound cryptic enough?

Speaker 1 7:38

Yeah, I remember telling you that a year from then it wasn't going to be a problem. One way or the other, I remember looking at it this way, Mark Regardless a year from now, we're either going to know you won or you're going to be gone. You better be here.

Speaker 2 7:58

Yep.

Speaker 1 7:59

Yep.

Speaker 2 8:01

Yep, I recall that too, and that statement was made more than once, more than once. And look here I am, almost six years from my diagnosis now.

Speaker 1 8:19

I could have been a felon coming back there. I could have stayed in Cabo. I'm not mad about it anymore. Thank you for living man. I would have been mad. I would have been so damn mad yeah.

Speaker 2 8:33

Could have gone a lot different than it did, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 8:36

Cost me five grand to get that fucking thing off my record.

Speaker 2 8:41

I'll sue him. At some point You're alleged car theft.

Speaker 1 8:47

Exactly. Well, I beat the charges so clearly it was a false charge. Yeah, Anyway, all right. So talking and talking and talking, one of the things. So let's get to the radiation, because that's um really like, there's a lot of things, words I don't want to put in your mouth, like you've already said them, but a lot of the ones I really don't want to put in your mouth um have to do with how we, because I've told these guys, um mark is now here to stay from this part. Whether you do any more podcasts or not, I don't know, but I've already told them that you're here to stay. You know, are you making weird noises? Is that your puppy? What do I hear over there? What are you doing, mark?

Speaker 2 9:34

That's Bella trying to get my attention because I'm talking to someone and it's not her.

Speaker 1 9:39

I was like this is not the time for that, Mark. Oh my God, you can wait a few minutes. Oh, fuck, Okay.

Speaker 2 9:54

No, remember, remember, I'm being careful about my Google searches now Right Jeez so so one thing, one thing about this that I I don't in in the whole timeline. It was very early on, I think it was before you, and I think it kind of sets a precedent for this. Um, when I went to the river in cameo, you hadn't gotten here yet, right when I, when I went and sat in the river no, yes, I had.

Speaker 1 10:24

yes, no, I was here. When you did that, I was here. You went without me. You left me. Yeah, you went up. Did you go with What's-Her-Face? It was when you kept leaving.

Speaker 2 10:35

No, I went by myself.

Speaker 1 10:36

Okay, but it was when you were with the gal, the skinny gal. Why can't I think of her name?

Speaker 2 10:45

Well, it the skinny gal. Why?

Speaker 1 10:46

can't. I think of her name. It was. Well, it was before my surgery. It was then. Did you go again? No, because we talked about it in the garage. We talked about um. I remember you beforehand and then coming back and telling me that you had just let everything go.

Speaker 2 11:03

Oh, that was that. Was you're thinking of the camping? I think you're thinking about the camping trip I went on in August.

Speaker 1 11:13

Oh For the weekend, I don't know.

Speaker 2 11:16

After I got my. I got my diagnosis, and one of the reasons why the diagnosis was so severe was because they found spots on my liver.

Speaker 1 11:24

Yes.

Speaker 2 11:25

Which had indicated that the cancer had spread from the origin site.

Speaker 1 11:32

But I was there for that because remember my friend Juan in Puerto Rico do you remember how I? Because those spots you went and did the river thing, but in that meantime, from the diagnosis and then you got those spots, we got on the phone with Juan for a minute and he had you put your hands a certain way, your fingers a certain way, and he said a couple things and then he said you're healed or something, and told me not to worry about it anymore, and then your spots were gone and so. But I know it was also I don't know what I don anymore, and then your spots were gone and so, but I know it was also. I don't know what. I don't know what made the spots be gone, but I do remember thinking at that point in time Holy shit, what was, what were the words that Juan said, what were the? Because that was something I filed. I'm almost positive that I was there before the spots were gone, like Could be.

Speaker 1 12:30

Yeah, I really do.

Speaker 2 12:32

Because that's one of the incidents that really opened me up to this was that the spots were there and then I went and sat in the river and just visualized the sun. You know without a shirt in my shorts, and sat in the river up to my waist and just visualized the sun baking all the negative crap out of my body and flushing it into the river. Sorry for everybody that was downstream in the river for that. Oh well.

Speaker 1 13:01

No, I was there for that. That was at the same time I had a.

Speaker 2 13:06

PET scan done and the spots were gone off of my liver.

Speaker 1 13:10

And I remember being in the garage getting and talking about that and how that happened and how the doctor couldn't. It was like it was there and it's not there. I was. I was with you at that point. I know that for sure, Cause I remember sitting in the garage and you and your little chair and me and the other one yeah, Okay, Well and I think I think we weren't even taking.

Speaker 1 13:33

Taking, um, we weren't like smoking out of a pipe, we were taking the wax hits. I think we were even doing little wax hits right then, because there was few could have been.

Speaker 2 13:44

It gets it events. There are events that stand out, but where they land on the timeline gets a little fuzzy things. Uh, forgive me, things were a little, um no it happens in my world right then it happens with me too.

Speaker 1 13:59

I um, because I've uh thought about it on this podcast. Afterwards I'll say something. I'll be like oh crap, that's actually like a year down the timeline, or you know what I mean. There's's it's hard, especially. Yeah, so we're doing the best we can. It happens.

Speaker 2 14:18

And it's all.

Speaker 1 14:18

The facts are all correct, it's just a matter of when. But yeah, it blends, I get it. I don't remember what it was, but I remember, with the transcript I think it was one of the transcripts and me reading it back thinking no, that's off by like a little bit of time right there. But whatever, yeah it happens?

Speaker 2 14:39

well, uh, we're, we're. I assert that we're trying to build a, an overview, and not a detailed exactly minute by minute, the earlier so. So, yeah, that was that me up, and then the next experience was um the crystals.

Speaker 1 15:00

Okay, so I think that was, that was, yeah, I that was. I think so, and that was um for me. That now I know for you, so I'll let you tell yours, let me tell my side first, and then you can tell your end of it. So that was your first, wasn't that your first? It was one of the first times you were heading off without me, so I don't remember. And you were going for a while. Do you remember what appointment you were going to?

Speaker 2 15:27

I was actually going to the west side over to Seattle area. Aha, okay, I couldn't remember and I can't remember. I don't remember exactly why. I want to say it was for one of my like the last model airplane contest I went to or something, but I'm not sure. Or maybe going to, I don't know, I don't remember. I just remember I was over because I was on I-5, driving down I-5.

Speaker 1 15:58

Okay, so set the stage. Um, I got back to Mark's and when I haven't seen you for a long time like we've talked on Facebook and stuff, but what was the last time I seen you before that, do you remember?

Speaker 2 16:11

Oh, it would have been 95 or 96. No.

Speaker 1 16:17

No, because I dated your. I took your daughter off of vacation. You babysat my daughter. I saw you then because you dropped her off. Yes, god, I love you.

Speaker 2 16:30

I delivered my daughter into the hands of the wolf.

Speaker 1 16:33

then I delivered my daughter into the hands of the wolf, then I was good, I promise.

Speaker 2 16:43

Oh, I've had conversations with her since then, so yeah, Funny.

Speaker 1 16:50

Okay, so I now have been. You guys know I've told you I've been through Australia, I've been through all the crap, we've been through Tokyo, we've been through Singapore, we've been through Australia, manchester, abu Dhabi, lost my luggage in JFK, all the, got the hurricanes and now I'm all the way. I'm beat up is the hurricanes and now I'm all the way I'm beat up is the point and I get there and I have my stuff as organized as possible. But along the way I've collected essentially rocks and crystals, some things like that, not too much. I haven't had a lot of money and I've had to carry all this stuff. But, um, I've found stuff that I believe has energetic value and I've treated it as such. But also, when I first get to Mark's, there were rose, rose, quartz, mark, that your dad had.

Speaker 2 17:46

Those take a trip across country every four years to see the family in Georgia and they were quartz crystals that I had bought at a place somewhere on one of the trips when I was like 10 or 11 years old, because I thought they were cool.

Speaker 1 18:13

Oh, hold on, I got to turn that off. That's my. That's Juan. My best friend from Puerto Rico has given me a call. I love those guys, Okay. So anyway, the courts, sorry about that. So the he had two courts that were sitting up. Why did I associate in my head your dad? I had, for some reason, when I was going to reprogram them, I kept in my mind that there was dad memories, family memories. Maybe it was family memories that needed to stay.

Speaker 2 18:48

Yeah, there were family memories, Definitely family memories, family memories definitely family memories.

Speaker 1 18:53

So, okay, so Mark takes off to go to his stuff, um, and I sit down, relax, start pulling out all my stuff, probably grab something to eat, probably take a hit of wax that he left for me Thank you, that type stuff, um, and I grabbed my box of rocks and crystals and I grab the two that I saw sitting on the shelf, these two rose quartz, and I start pulling them all out and I know that I'm going to kind of reprogram the rose quartz, cleanse them and reprogram them for healing.

Speaker 1 19:30

But then I'm looking through all of my other stuff rocks and things like that and asking them which ones want to be part of Mark's journey and this journey. And I know it sounds crazy, but there were very clear ones to me that said, all right, I do, no, I don't want to be part of this. Yeah, I do, maybe if you need me, shit like that. But so I pull them all out and then I grab these two rose quartz and I'm like, well, this is where we need to start. And it was very clear that they held a lot of energy and a lot of memory in them. They're fairly powerful, they're a fairly decent size the size of my palm. Is that right, mark? Something like that I remember.

Speaker 2 20:13

Yeah, they're easily six inches.

Speaker 1 20:17

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:18

Six inches long, and one of them is a double crystal. It has a secondary crystal coming off of it.

Speaker 1 20:23

Yeah, it was clear that they held power, but they also felt like a full computer, like they had absorbed a lot and they hadn't been rebooted or defragmented or anything like that in a long time. And so I grabbed them and I went over to and I grabbed some salt. I don't remember, I think it was just regular salt. You didn't use pink salt, right, I think it was white salt. I grabbed whatever salt was there.

Speaker 2 20:54

I do have. I do have pink emily and salt here and have had for a long time oh, then maybe it was pink.

Speaker 1 20:59

Yeah, maybe it was pink, um, but anyway I know, I grabbed salt, whatever salt was nearby, and started running the water and then I started reprogramming those two crystals, um to keep the essential family memories, and obviously I didn't know what those were, so I was trusting that the computer was going to know itself which those were and then to wash away the rest and then to reprogram the rest of those crystals for healing, just like I had learned in those classes. And I know, although it sounds crazy, I saw it in the classes and so that's what I was doing. Now I hadn't done it. This was when you called me. It was obviously as much of a shock to me as you, and it's been neat ever since. But so then I went and sat down and then you called me. As soon as I sat down, you called me. I went and sat down, and then you called me. As soon as I sat down, you called me, and so what happened on your end?

Speaker 2 21:59

Well, I was. I was. This is why it's so vivid. I knew I was on the West side because I was driving out down I-5 and it wasn't rush hour, but it was. It's I-5.

Speaker 2 22:06

There's surrounded by cars doing 65, 70 miles an hour down the freeway, cars doing 65, 70 miles an hour down the freeway and all of a sudden there was it's so hard to describe, but there was a wave of energy that went through me, through my truck, and it was like. It was like watching a movie where they warp the visual everything just kind of shifted and changed and it was just obvious that there was something going on that was not normal. Um, everything worked and I don't know why, but I'm. It came through my mind. I think we'd had a brief conversation about crystals and all of that before I'd left, and not nothing in depth. Yeah, I think we had a brief conversation about crystals and all of that before I left, Nothing in depth.

Speaker 1 22:55

Yeah, I think I said I was going to set them up. I think I asked for your permission if it was okay for me to set some stuff up around the house and I set up some healing water. Actually, we made some, you know, just shit like that. So it was probably that that we had the conversation about.

Speaker 2 23:12

But I remember I think I started off by texting you because I'm driving, which that's not an admission of guilt. I may have pulled over to the side.

Speaker 1 23:26

Statue of limitations For anybody listening. Statue of limitations way over Right Okay.

Speaker 2 23:32

Okay, we're fine.

Speaker 1 23:33

Yeah, now a lot of stuff I've talked about have been like well, good thing there's no statute of limitations on that anymore.

Speaker 2 23:40

Yeah, so I texted you because I wasn't sure, but I also didn't want to lead you into answering what I wanted for an answer, if that makes sense. I wanted it to be, and I think my my comment was hey, Heidi, what are you doing right now?

Speaker 1 23:59

It was. It was something exactly like that, because all I did I cause, as soon as that came through, I had to giggle um, because I I knew those rose quartz had some. They have some significant energy to them, and so I just took my phone and I had all of the rocks and crystals out and those two rose quartz. I think that maybe, I think those rose quartz I might have still had them on the sink at that time under the sun, but anyway, I just took a picture of all of the rocks and quartz that I was setting up and that was all.

Speaker 2 24:37

This is what I did picture of all of the rocks and courts that I was setting up and that was all. And then, yeah, that was it. And at that point it became pretty obvious that my interest and exploration in the healing that we were looking at was going to pay dividends or at least have impact. Right, because it wasn't, it wasn't preconceived, it wasn't discussed, there was no, there was no reason for me to suspect that that was going on, other than the fact that you had asked me for permission to do something with my crystals, to do something with my crystals. And so it was a very profound moment where I had teased myself with ideas about the universe and all of that. And of course, I'd listened to you for years talk about that stuff. And I nodded, nice and said, well, that's wonderful, that's nice, heidi, I'm so glad you found that for yourself. And then it's like slapped me in the face and go no, you need to listen. And so I did.

Speaker 2 25:47

But it's quite a leap going from, you know, at that point, 59 years of being brought up in the mainstream Christian church. You know that all of this other stuff is evil and dangerous and bad, and I certainly agree that some of it could be. But as I looked at it and started exploring for myself. The best way to say it would be I had a revelation. I guess, or an epiphany if you will, that we both believe that Jesus walked the earth and that he healed people. And if you read the scriptures, only a few of those healings are ever described as miracles, and a miracle is an event without logic that takes place, to be simplistic about describing it.

Speaker 2 26:49

But Jesus healed a lot of people that were not described as miracles. Well, he didn't have a CAT scan or a PET scan or an MRI, or he didn't even have a doctor's leather bag to carry around with him. So how did he heal those people? And the answer to that question for me was he used the healing properties that are inherent in us as individuals each of us and he used the energy that's present on the earth that allows us to tap in and be connected with each other. And that's also where the connection between you and I really started to become defined, I guess is one way to say it. We started to be able to see that connection for what it was, and I, to this day, have no explanation why you and I became connected, have no explanation why you and I became connected um the universe. Obviously, obviously had it in mind when I hired you to come to work and wash cars in the snow for me.

Speaker 1 27:59

You had to bring it up to you. I told everybody on my my tiktok. I'm like when I was I don't know if you watched it did you watch it? Like he would make me watch the transcript I?

Speaker 2 28:13

read the transcript yeah, oh, man. And note important note ever since you told me that it bothered you, that I teased you about that, I haven't brought it up. This is the first time I've brought it up in five or six years now.

Mark's Cancer Diagnosis and Initial Reactions

Speaker 1 28:31

It's okay now. I don't care now. It sucked when I had to. That was my only option to feed my daughter at 525. I'm out there freezing my ass. I'm there for eight hours and after taxes I'm getting $32 to go out there for eight hours and freeze my ass up so I can feed my kid and you're fucking with me on it. No, bug me then, Doesn't bug me now. It's okay Then. I could have kicked you in the teeth if I had the opportunity, but you're my boss.

Speaker 2 29:04

Yeah, well, yeah, anyway, I love you. So it's been an interesting journey and there's lots of other little tiny things that happened here and there, but the crystal thing is the one thing that at that point I had to decide. I had to really look at it and make a decision, because it was very obvious that there was an energy here that I'd never experienced, that real. It was very real. I mean, it was kind of like if you stand up too fast and you get lightheaded. It was kind of that sensation when it went through me.

Speaker 2 29:49

And it only lasted for four or five seconds. Here again, that's the clarification for those who might be listening, who want to think that I was driving impaired on the highway. If nothing else, you've taught me to cover my ass.

Speaker 1 30:06

Right on, right on. The good news about this is I don't have it to where they can leave us comments. Now there's probably reviews on this podcast, but I've never checked. Only the people on TikTok can tell me what they think, and they all think we're great, so don't worry.

Speaker 2 30:22

Okay, okay, fair enough, funny and funny. So, yeah, that's that's what forced me down. And of course it's a five or six hour drive back and I remember the whole time I was over there whenever my brain wasn't otherwise occupied. I'm trying to explain this to myself in terms of what I'd experienced in life in the 59 years prior to that life in the 59 years prior to that, and there just was no logical explanation. And that's when I started exploring my somewhat limited knowledge of the Bible and the verses and the things there, and I started reading into that and looking at that, and then the whole drive home, you know the five or six hour drive home and my brain is just constantly on that the whole time. And that's when I came up with my revelation slash epiphany about Jesus tapping into the universe to heal people, right In those non-miracle scenarios. And so I was able to be at peace with that and at peace with other things.

Speaker 2 31:34

Now, that being said, I will say that there's still. If there's energy for the light, there's also energy for the dark, and the same energy can go both ways. So, to those listening, I'm not saying that all energy you experience is good energy. By any means, you have to be responsible, right. I believe that you know a lot of people get tarot card readings and there is real energy involved in that when it's done for other than a sideshow, right, and Ouija boards and runes and all of those sort of things, and so one must be responsible.

Speaker 2 32:23

I am not condoning it in the Christian world to be across the board good, but there's definitely energy in the universe that's there for us to tap into. And, like Heidi started off saying, I had determined that I was going to do everything I could to swing the odds in my favor, especially after having to sit down and tell my mom that I had cancer and they didn't think I was going to live. That was one of the most painful conversations I think I've ever had in my life and you know what my mom got to see me healed.

Speaker 1 33:03

Yeah, she did, she did.

Speaker 2 33:08

And that was one of the best conversations I've ever had. Sorry it still that's alright it still lands pretty hard today. It's pretty real.

Speaker 1 33:20

I got a little tear myself, don't worry, I just was able to keep my lip in place, yeah.

Speaker 2 33:30

So, so yeah, that's kind of like a a little glimpse into the first half of the journey, at least the first part. And, um, I sit here today and I'm not on any medications any medications. I am cancer-free. There are repercussions from the chemo, mostly that I deal with, and from the surgery, because they removed a pretty good chunk of excess material from my abdomen that they decided I didn't need, abdomen that they decided I didn't need. But other than the long-term effects of the chemo and the surgery, I am healthy and cancer-free and I wake up every morning thankful to be alive Every morning. Every day is a good day. Some are good or not, every day is a good day. Right, some are good or another, every day is a good day. So, and and and and. I've learned, and, and I'll probably end up if, if we get on here again, I'll probably end up talking about my perspective on emotions and trials and things that we go through, but I've learned that every experience is valuable whether it's positive, whether it's perceived to be positive or negative, or oh.

Speaker 2 35:07

that's a horrible thing when my mom passed horribly painful, horribly painful experience for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is certain family members that I won't go into at this point. But the fact that it hurt as bad as it did and I shed as many tears as I did is a good thing, because it's indicative of my, my love for who my mom was and still is in my heart.

Speaker 1 35:43

Right.

Speaker 2 35:43

So you learn to to take all of those in your journeys, your the the experiences you've been through. You wouldn't want to go through them again, but they're part of the experience of being alive as a human being on the earth, and without them your life is shallow and meaningless.

Speaker 1 36:01

I love every single one of them. Now that I made it through, I love every single one there was when I was wondering how I was going to make it through at the time. Now, that was a little. People always worried about my comfort more than I worried about my comfort, which was weird as far as, like, the comfort in the van and you know what I mean, things like that. But now, now that I'm through it, it's all fun as shit, but I'm through it, yeah.

Speaker 2 36:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 36:30

Yeah, Now it's fun as shit, but I'm through it.

Speaker 2 36:31

Yep, yep, yeah, now it's I don't know. I kind of feel like that might be a good. We have a lot more we could talk about. No, it's a great spot.

Speaker 1 36:38

It's 37 minutes, 36, 37 minutes. That's great for them. We can do more if you're willing to do more and finish the last half of your radiation and me getting in the van and heading out. You're going to be on this journey for the whole time. I'm talking about you from here on out, regardless. So if you want to defend yourself, you're going to need to get on here. So there you go.

Speaker 2 37:02

There are a few things that I'm ashamed of, that it's all reality. It's all reality. It is what it is, and we're our own worst critics and we judge ourselves, but the reality is I did what I did in the moment throughout my whole life. I've done what I've done in the moment and it is what it is. You know it's. It is what created the human being that is on the other end of this phone right now.

Speaker 1 37:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2 37:31

On this end of the phone. Rather, I think this is a good. I don't want to ramble too much and have people have to sit there for four hours. No, it's good If they had to listen to our conversation, they'd be like holy crap, how did we end up over here, right? Wait a minute. What did we end up over here, right? Wait a minute. What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 37:53

Okay, all right, you guys, we're going to call it good. Mark is alive, and we'll tell you the rest of that journey in the next one. How's that? This is the Surviving Changes Podcast. I'm Heidi, anne. You're Mark, mark, this is the Surviving Changes Podcast.

Speaker 2 38:09

I'm Heidi, and Mark Mark On your mark get set mark.

Speaker 1 38:15

All right, Thank you. Everyone Talk soon.