Stop Taking It Personally

Someone will try you today, and it might be petty or it might cut deep. We sit down with Heidi as she explains the one mental move that keeps her from getting stuck in rage after years of betrayal: refusing to take the bait personally, even when the harm is clearly aimed right at you. It’s blunt, emotional, and rooted in a bigger point about where you place your attention and what you refuse to give away. 

We talk about resilience, anger management, and coping with betrayal through a faith-based lens she calls “spiritual accounting.” Heidi argues that what other people do is between them and God, and what matters most is what you do next. She shares the story of discovering a life insurance policy, the temptation to retaliate, and why she chose restraint instead. The conversation also gets specific about repentance, not as a last-minute apology, but as making it right with real restitution and real humility. 

Along the way, we touch on end-of-life research, consequences, and why living in the future can be the most practical form of healing. If you’re carrying old hurt, dealing with family conflict, or trying to stop replaying what someone did, this one is a jolt of perspective. Subscribe to Surviving Changes, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review with your answer: what helps you stay calm when someone wrongs you?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Well, hello there. It's Heidi, and um, we will talk about what's going on in the world as this keeps going. I am gonna make an effort to talk to you guys once a day, at least for a few minutes, and we'll see where it goes from there. But what I'm gonna do today is I'm gonna actually give you one of the best pieces of advice that you have ever received in your life. Um, people ask me all the time how it is that

Welcome And Daily Check Ins

SPEAKER_01 0:45

I am able to like smile and laugh after all of the shit uh I've been put through, all of the things made like purposely to destroy me by people who looked me in the eyes and said they loved me. And people are like, how do you do that without killing somebody? Well, first of all, it's not over yet. There used to be a joke that we all get one free kill, I get two.

The Advice Not Taking It Personal

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Um, and then I won't just kill you, but I'll sue your estate for the stress of having to kill you. Now there are people that um thought that was a joke, and perhaps it was. Uh, but we haven't finished this whole deal yet. So we'll see where that goes. But this is how I've coped thus far. So every day there's gonna be at least one person. You don't have to be me, right? Um, to be treated badly. There's gonna be someone out in the world at least one a day, probably more. They're probably strategically put there to really fuck up your day, quite honestly, but at least one. And it might be something as small as literally just not giving you an item that you ordered, you know, doing something like that on purpose, giving you diet soda when you ask for regular soda, or vice versa. Stupid shit like that. Or it may be something as aggressive as what I went through, where your friends and families tried to poison you for insurance money. Um now, when those things happen, it's very easy to take the situation personally, right? And in fact, um, it is pretty personal, right? When other people in the story are acting to hurt you personally. So that's a reasonable response. The problem, though, is that when you take those things personally, it keeps you trapped in anger, uh, a fight, a hurt, or any um of a number of non-productive feelings, things that don't help you at all, and in fact, only help their cause if you fall into that trap. So even if you never act to settle a score, taking time to think about it is still a not productive way to use your brain and your heart, right? So I simply don't. I don't live in the past, I live in the future. It's one of the things these people have always hated about me is I want to live 150 years. They were always such losers that they're like, no, I want to be out of here at 70. You know, if you're not doing anything with your life and you're just a fucking scumbag, I can see you not wanting to live. Um, but I do want to live, right? Um, but so I have dozens

Living In The Future

SPEAKER_01 3:11

of people worldwide, literally. I got a lot of people that love me, but I've got a lot of people that worldwide have tried to bury me. Literally bury me. Now I could fight and I could scream and I could spend my entire life force fighting with them, trying to get even, doing all the things that they expected me to do. And right now, part of the reason you're hearing me laugh so much is because right now they're realizing they didn't win. I never fought back. They were truly believed that they won this deal. Um, and I told them you got 10 years to do whatever you need to do, and then it's gonna be a problem. Um, you should fix it by then. And so those 10 years have passed, and now they're taking a look in and they're go shit. So that's why you're hearing me laugh as much as you're hearing me laugh. Funny. It's fucking funny. Those are gross ass people. Um but so I could fight, right? And I could scream and spend every every little ounce of my life force getting even with them. Or I could recognize in the big, big picture that I'm working with those actions um that might have been towards me. If I actually step back and don't take it personal for a few minutes, I realize that all of those actions are not between me and them, right? All of those actions are technically between them and God, and how I respond is between me and God. Everything is that way. It's easy to take it personal, but the things that they did to me could be between us, sure. But in the end, why I why it matters to me um is it's not, it's between them and God. For my book, Echo at the

Turning Hurt Into Spiritual Accounting

SPEAKER_01 4:59

End. I interviewed hundreds of people who um were with like hospice people, stuff like that. There's a consequence. These people aren't getting out scot-free. In fact, they're probably gonna have close to a thousand years to think about it. And so, um, before they even get a chance to come back here. So that's a whole different story. Um, but let's get back to what I'm saying about this between them and God, uh, you and God. So when I found the life insurance policy that was signed by my daughter and my friend and office manager, Galen Matlock, I could have killed them easily. I could have sued their estate for the stress of having to kill them. I would have got away with it. I was a criminal defense lawyer. We all get the one free kill if done right, because of my education experience. I got two. I could have killed them both, sued both of their estates and walked away from it. No

Resisting Revenge After Betrayal

SPEAKER_01 5:53

doubt in my mind. And if you were around back then, you know that I'm telling the the 100% truth. And so, um, but if I would have responded poorly to them, I would have a strike against me, so to speak. This is um another book of my check out my books because I talk about a lotus and all of them. They're easy reads. Well, they're short reads, maybe hard um because they're honest. But so I'm not gonna argue with anybody about um how you get into heaven. I'm not gonna do it. I walked around the earth for 13 years now with my Bible and a backpack, trusting only God. Uh, I feel pretty good with the relationship that I have with him and the things that he's taught me and told me, and the um furnaces that we've walked out of together. So I know that if I would have responded poorly to those guys, I may have got okay here on earth. It may have been fine for me here. But in heaven, I was gonna have strikes against me. Maybe I wouldn't even be able to enter heaven, depending on how that all went. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Um, I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

But so because I didn't kill anybody when I found that insurance policy, and I didn't even confront anyone directly about it. If if they get confronted, it'll be by the courts in that manner. Um I passed a very, very big test with God. I may even get to skip an entire floor of steps on my way up because I didn't respore respond to that poorly. Every action that those people do when they get up, there's a consequence that's coming to them. It's very well likely going to keep them out of heaven. These people, look, if you're one of these people that say everybody gets into heaven as long as you repent, you're fucking stupid, someone's lied to you, and they don't want you in heaven. Simple as that. They don't want you there. And so they've told you you can be a fuck up your entire life, and you can do a hell marry at the end, and God's gonna put you in the most exclusive place there is. That's not how it works, folks. That's not how it works. And anybody who's told you that is stupid or a liar. You have to earn your way into heaven, period. Period. Period. Um, or you're gonna come back here and you're gonna get to do it again, or you're gonna be like these people and you're gonna spend a thousand years um essentially in what people would call purgatory thinking about it. It's simply the way it is. Um, the my book, um, The Gates Without Gatekeepers talk about this quite a bit if you want to know more about what I'm what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

But so um I responded good. I responded well.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

I asked God how to respond before I lost it and killed these guys. I grabbed my Bible, I sat down, I talked to God about it. What am I supposed to do? God said, What you're supposed to do is you're supposed to fall on your sword, let me handle it, let me argue your case, and go roam

Repentance Means Making It Right

SPEAKER_01 9:14

the earth for a decade. Another way he did that. You know what? Tomorrow I'll actually explain. I used to be on my TikTok, but it's not anymore. I'll explain my living Bible and um how I get these answers from God. And maybe you can get the answers the same way too. Uh, but the bottom line is every single action, when you wake up in the morning and someone wrongs you, if you respond to them, that's fine. I mean, there's a on from an earthly standpoint, there's nothing wrong with that. But you have someone walking by you, keeping track, look in the spiritual account book, read that. Um, and you're gonna have to account for your actions, every single one of them, every single day. And when I respond good to those people in a way that God would want me to respond, it elevates my position in heaven the day I get there. It also keeps them from going to heaven. Period. You don't you don't get to poison your mom, your friend, and um repent for that. You here, here's the deal. God says, I will forgive you if you repent, and I believe you that you're actually sorry for your actions. What that means. Um, so when I realized this truth, it was 2006. At that point in time, I realized I had stols in 1984. I found those people and I paid them. I confessed my sin to them. When you lost your VCR in 1984, that was me on the way to the school at the bus stop. I seen I had a good opportunity, I took it. I was a fucked up kid and I'm sorry. How much did that VCR cost? $300. Okay, here's $400 for your trouble. Now, when God sees that, he believes I'm sorry. If I was to just say, Hey God, I'm sorry about that 1984 thing, he'd take note of it, sure. But he wouldn't believe it and he wouldn't have to act on it. There's no spiritual law that would require him to do anything, and he wouldn't. He's not gonna help you unless you actually do the right thing. Okay? And once you realize how that spiritual account worked, you're gonna stop getting angry with the people that wrong you. And you may even thank them eventually. I look at I thank God for all of the crap that I've been put through because it's elevated me so high. If I didn't have those scumbags doing all of the things that they did, first of all, I'd still be in

Gratitude For Hard Lessons

SPEAKER_01 11:54

the law defending those scumbags for free, taking them on vacations, giving um swine pearls. And so they did me a huge favor and said, I'm sitting here with my puppy getting ready to figure out what I'm gonna do for the day, looking at this beautiful um ocean from my bed in Puerto Rico. It's peaceful. We don't have all of the things that the world has. I know I've lived in Australia, I've lived in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, I've lived in Puerto Rico, lived in many places in the US. This is heaven. And I wouldn't have it without them.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

I wouldn't even know about it.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

And so, um let's just let's just say once you realize how your spiritual account works, you're gonna be less angry. You're gonna be happy and thankful um for the opportunity to impress God because it's an opportunity to impress God. And read read echo at the end. These motherfuckers, um they're gonna pay for it. And I look at after I did that, sure, I'd love to see them in jail and hell. But if they go to jail, it's gonna give them an opportunity to repent and make it right here on earth, right? And I'm so fucking mad. I they're never gonna take that opportunity unless I make them take that opportunity. And if I don't make them take that opportunity, they're gonna be just like my mom. Stroke hits, and holy shit, the reckoning comes. And a demon, it's first of all, the room smells of sulfur, and demons walk that bitch down to hell to think about it. Now, is she there forever? I don't think so. I don't think she is, but I think she's there long enough to um think about

Reckoning Stories And Closing

SPEAKER_01 13:46

it, and that's based on a shit ton of research. Read my book and tell you've interviewed at least 100 people that have dealt with that with peaceful deaths, with regular deaths, and with um chaotic deaths. Don't tell me what you know. Um, don't tell me what you know. So, anyway, I'm Heidi. And this kind of took a weird turn, but I'm gonna post it anyway. Have a great day. This is the Surviving Changes podcast.