Why Walking Away Can Be The Smartest Fight

Walking away can look like surrender from the outside. From the inside, it can be the only move that keeps you alive long enough to choose your future. Heidi shares the practical, step-by-step logic behind why she didn’t “stay and fight” after workplace sexual assault, professional retaliation, and years of pressure that didn’t stop when the job ended. This isn’t a motivational speech. It’s decision-making under threat, with timelines, consequences, and real costs.

We talk about what the legal system actually demands when you try to hold powerful people accountable, including how long civil fights can drag on, how appeals stretch “victory” into a decade, and why feeding hostile systems more information can backfire. Heidi also unpacks the moment a friend asks the question that changes everything: what advice would you give yourself? From there, she lays out a survival strategy built around restraint, evidence, leverage, and healing, even when your ego is begging for a public showdown.

You’ll also hear why local civic action can be more effective than swinging at the biggest targets first, and how small, disciplined groups can create real change close to home. If you’re searching for trauma recovery, burnout boundaries, retaliation survival, statute of limitations strategy, or grassroots organizing that doesn’t waste your energy, this conversation will stick with you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a clearer plan, and leave a review with the part you disagreed with most.

Transcript

Quick Hello And Why Now

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Well hello there, good morning. It's Heidi. And I just had somebody ask me why I chose not to stay and fight and it hit me. Other than the stuff that I've told you, like about God and all of those things. Um I've never given you my logical breakdown as to how that actually happened. So I'm gonna do that really quick right now.

Local Change Through Power Cells

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Um, and then I have have work to do. We got some exciting stuff going on. So while I want to hold you guys' hand, get this this um latest book, don't ever tell me that you have never no one told you how to do it. My god, I have it's a 200-page, so don't don't grab it unless you're serious. Um, but it will set out for you, or it does set out for you. Um, if you have four other people, at least five people for a power cell, it will show you how to get change implemented locally within um three to eight months starting. And once you have that as your uh blueprint, you can just keep going, right? Um move on to state, then move on to federal. But start locally where you're not sabotaging yourself, where you actually have a chance at change. Um, and man, get get a few of these in your local town, these power cells, things will never be the same again. So you do have the answer. You totally have the answer. But um, back to what I just want to talk about really quick. The reason why I didn't stay and fight. So if you've listened to the podcast, you know that I was sexually assaulted on the job. That's how I became a lawyer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, you also should know, I think I said in there, and if not, you need to know that um I had done the math and I knew that I was never, ever, ever gonna be a lawyer past May 16th, 2013.

Why I Refused To Fight

SPEAKER_00 2:14

The reason I never jumped over uh one of the desks and knocked out a fucking judge or prosecutor is because there was a date certain that I would no longer have to be doing that stuff, and it was much easier for me to pop a Xanax at the time. The good news is they did keep me hopped up on Xanax back then for the most part. So um that happened after Brandon killed himself. So go back and listen to that if you need to. Um, but so there was a date certain, and you also, if you've listened to the podcast, you know that they killed my puppy March 28th, um, 2013. So we're talking just a few months' difference in between when they did that and when I knew I was never ever gonna step into practice again, right? And technically, no, they didn't even disbar me until after that date. Probably because um any damages from that point on. Well, I don't want to give them legal strategy, but they probably did that in that timing just in case I ever came back and sued them and people actually listened to me, um, and their hits on my credibility didn't work, right? So uh back then I was very strong. I pretty much could run Washington State, I had gone from food stamps to, and it was three months before I didn't qualify for those food stamps, to firing Senator Marie's daughter. Fucking pieces of shit. Um but so I I at the time, and my ego was huge. Oh my god. I have an ex that uh was on the radio and she would play You're so vain every time she was mad at me. Uh and it was true, man. The song was about me. Um, so that didn't help. That didn't help the vanity at all. Um, but so there was a lot of things I was wrestling with right then. And I was talking to Mike. Mike, if you're out there, you're one of the few people I would really like to talk to again, make sure you're doing well. Um, as far as I'm concerned, you're one of only about three people in that group that actually tried, and I know you tried, so I don't have any hard feelings with you, Mike. And especially

Mike’s Question That Stopped Me

SPEAKER_00 4:34

because of this, man, you gave me the best. So back then I was charging $500 an hour. You know, I made the most I'd ever made was $22,000 an hour in a personal injury case. Um, but I I got paid pretty good for my advice back then. Um and Mike, you out advised me completely. I was in a stir. I'm like, okay, you know how I've said I will kill you and then sue your estate? I'm gonna do it to these people. I was hot, man. Um, but I also knew that I didn't want to be a lawyer anymore. And having sued the Yakima Police Department um in the Elvis uh the Elvis Wayne anyway, in I think I talked about it. I don't want to get sidetracked. I can easily get sidetracked. But um I learned in that case that um it's big, right? And so I'm trying to discuss all this with Mike, and I'm like, all right, what should I do, Mike? And he just looks at me and he says, Heidi, it seems to me you're in the best position to answer that question. What advice would you give yourself? Right? And so I sat with that for a few minutes and I'm like, oh my god, he's right. If I was sitting with me, how would that conversation go? And it would have gone something like this. Heidi lawyer. Hey, Heidi, that's some fucked up shit. Well, you told me I believe you. I know this, I know how this works. Um, I believe you completely. But what you are asking me to do as your lawyer would be something that is gonna take at least 10 years. You know that it's even if you win, you're gonna go through appeals, then you're gonna, I mean, it's it's gonna be not fun. And these same people that are going by your house, attacking

The Case For Waiting It Out

SPEAKER_00 6:24

you, there's now a name for it, gang stalking you, um, poisoning you, hitting you with dew your neighbors. Um, all of those people, we didn't know what was do back then. Um, but anyway, all of those people are not going away, they're obviously well funded. And if they've done all of these things, been working on it for a while, right? And so who knows what else that as soon as I get into this, they're gonna pop up. It's not gonna just be one fight, Heidi. It's gonna be several fights, uh, and you're gonna have to really want to do it. I'll do it, but I my time's not free. Um, the there's a lot that's going on. So you tell me you buried a bunch of evidence against these people? Why, yes, lawyer Heidi, I did bury a bunch of evidence against these people. I did it right in front of their face, and they now know it. It was on a break the nation tour, we called it, in 2012. It's when I knew there was big problems, and I needed to make sure that I had some dead man switches in place. And so I went on tour, made it look like a mini vacation, and uh laid dead man switches in every fucking state. I over I overdid the dead man switches probably. Um, but yes, lawyer Heidi, that's exactly what I did. And you helped these motherfuckers, you've kept them out of jail, uh, you've bought them cars, you've taken them on vacation, bought them boobs, you've done all drinks, then you would go into town and lay down your card, and the first 500 for whoever in town was there, you would pay, even if you didn't know that. Yes, all of those things. In your personal injury uh practice over 10 years, you only kept the money you earned fully one time because you were studied for you were ready for trial on that one, and she settled. But other than that, you didn't even keep the money you earned. No, I did not. And these people still turned on you or at least didn't support you back? Correct. Well, I would leave those folks behind. That's what I would do, victim Heidi. Um if I was you, and it turns out that I am, knowing all these things, what I would do is look, the statute of limitations on anything they might have set you up for is 10 years, right? Um, you've been doing this for 17 between school and the 10 years you had in practice. You need a break. And you haven't really traveled the world. You've traveled the US in every state in one, every lower state, um, in one three-month trip, two and a half month trip. You've traveled the US extensively. Go see the rest of the world. Uh, during that 10 years, oh, also, and you did bury a bunch of money, Heidi, way back when you realized that your wife and daughter were stealing from you and your wife was cheating on you, and they were trying to get as much as they could from you before she took off. Yes, and I also buried a lot of money. Well, as your lawyer, this is how I would do it if I was you. I would go for 10 years where every single statute of limitations um will have run on any of the bullshit that they have done. I would not respond to anything at the Bar Association yet and let it be a default judgment. Don't give them any more evidence because they're part of it, right? Uh go away for 10 years, travel, take a break, and during that time I will do some investigation for you. You can too also go back into these dens, these lion dens, if you can, and gather as much information up on you as you can. And you know that if they welcome you into their house and put you on their internet and stuff like that, that you can then gain access to a whole lot of evidence, right? Okay. There's a lot of ways you can get evidence. Um if they don't know you're gathering evidence. So it's now this is the one thing it's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt your ego. You're gonna have to let them think they won. And that's gonna be painful for someone like you who wins and pounds their chest. So if you can eat your ego, if you can eat your ego, this is it's very simple

Let Them Think They Won

SPEAKER_00 10:54

what I do. Go spend 10 years uh looking broke as fuck. Let them think that they won. So nobody sues you for more. Nobody brings up any other bullshit that they've done. They just think you've gone off to die, like they planned. Go see, go see things, go enjoy, go meet people around the world, go lay some more dead man switches all around the world. Do do what you need, but do it for 10 years, and then and also get yourself healed from all the poison and all the crap they put you through. Um, and then come on back and we'll talk. Because after that point, there's nothing that they have done that they can continue to do. The statute of limitations are up, even the IRS can't do anything at that point. Um, and their conspiracy will have continued during those 10 years, assuming nobody pops up and says, here's the truth, and they're scumbags, you know they're not gonna do that. So let them continue this conspiracy for 10 years. Once that 10 years hits, go dig up that money and fuck them up. If you decide not to, for whatever reason, you'll always have the upper hand and you'll always sleep better knowing that at any given second it's up to you what their futures hold. And that'll be a hell of a lot of power. And you don't even have to state it loudly. You just pop back up, smile, and let them know they didn't win. There's they knew what they did, they're smart enough to know. Once that 10 mark hits and they see you, they're gonna shit their pants. And at that point, you're gonna have people starting to tell you the truth or hiding. Um, they'll continue it. You'll have you'll be in the best position then to actually take the system down. But if you fight right now, it will kill you. It will kill you. They've almost already killed you. I'll do it for you. I'll take your money and be a lawyer. But if I was you, I'd go take a 10-year vacation. So that's why I did it the way I did. If you're ever curious, right there. And just ask me. You know what? One of the great things about this is you can ask me whatever questions you want about that. And you can look at me and you can determine based on my answer whether I'm telling the truth or

Ask Me Anything And Closing

SPEAKER_00 13:14

not. You can evaluate my credibility based on body language, based on tone, based on what makes sense. So, if you don't do that, it means you're one of them or you're worthless. So, anyway, I'm Heidi. This was Surviving Changes Podcast, and that's why I did it the way I did.