The Marriage the Lamb is Building

Pastor Zach Whitehead

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Fantastic job with Sunday school. Those of you heard it. Thank you so much for helping out with that. Man, I I I told you guys from the get-go. I'm really, I'm really you guys could be seated this morning. I'm not that special. Well, my wife would say otherwise, but it's not something that kind of specialty stand for. But anyways, um, no, thank you so much again. I I the gifts are in the house. They really are. Josh, fantastic job teaching this morning. I was back there listening and uh chugging uh chugging the pink elixir of life. Uh the stomach bug hit our house this week, and for me, it always takes forever for my body to reset. So like I feel like it's like right there hanging out. I promise I'm not contagious. It's just because of other health conditions I have. I just, man, I was this morning, like, Satan, this has been a fantastic week. I feel like I've got to work. Guys, Zan got the Holy Ghost this week out of VBS. I don't know about you, but that's something to be excited about. Will it text me Sunday night? Cadence got the Holy Ghost out of service. I mean, come on, God's up to something amazing, and he's gonna he's gonna do it uh through our children and for our children. But don't worry, he hasn't read you off yet or either adults. We're still in this. We still we still got to guide and we still gotta shepherd them. So so don't don't write off that they're that they're the church of now, because you're still the church of now too. But I believe that God is doing something fantastic in our kids, and um he asks that we baptize them tonight, and we're gonna baptize them, and he asked that we get baptized at Pop Pop's church, so he's super excited. And I think I'm gonna make the baptistry, we're gonna get in there and it's gonna be one water level, but it's gonna be two or three inches higher because I'm gonna be crying like a baby the whole time. I get to baptize my baby boy tonight in Jesus' name. Man, I'm tearing up right now. But it is, if you don't have the Holy Ghost yet, or you haven't been baptized in Jesus' name, I'm telling you, it is it is the greatest, not one of it is the greatest gift that you'll ever experience. I I was telling, I was telling Zane this week. He was, he just, he asked, um, he asked, because Monday night, Monday night, his cousin got the Holy Ghost, and he's like, Dad, can tomorrow night be my night? And I'll be honest, I was a little selfish. I almost prayed that night, God, can you make it Wednesday night? Because I'm gonna be here Tuesday night for midweek, and he's gonna be a Bible and he's gonna be a VBS. And I was like, no, no, I can't say that, man. Thinking that my head, I went to go say that loud. I was like, oh, that's a terrible dad thing. I better stop. And I said, God, if you if if tomorrow tonight's his night. And so I told him, I said, all you got to do is make sure one thing is that when you pray, you pray out loud. Just talk to God. Because he was a little timid the night before, and he lit Ange said he just lifted his hands and began to pray. They laid hands on him and he just began to speak another language, and then he stopped and jumped. He said, Was that it? And they said, Yeah, and he he got he looked at Ange, tears in his eyes. He said, Look, Mom, Jesus did it. I'm telling you, the heart of a child, the faith of a child will change your perspective on everything. And it did, man. God wrecked me this week over it, and uh, I said, We're just we're just so excited. Um, and and I told him this, I said, You gotta think about it. Because we've been watching, I don't know if you guys watched it yet, but uh it and uh like last Christmas, David came out, and um it for him it's just been a really moving story, and I'll be honest, I I love the movie. Um, even Hazel singing the songs. But well, I said, what he said, you know, he's talking about David uh slaying Goliath. I said, think about this. You can ask David all the questions you want to when you get to heaven, but David's gonna turn around and look at you and say, The Spirit of God moved on me. What was it like for the Spirit of God to live in you? It is the greatest gift you will ever experience in your life, is the Spirit of God living inside of you, helping your every day, your every word, your every action, your every thought. And so again, if you don't have the gift of the Holy Ghost, I'm telling you, it is for you. You can receive it today if you want it. If you you feel like you need it in your life, if it's been a long time, you can get the gift of the Holy Ghost all over again today. God can refill it and refresh your life. But this morning, I want to talk to you and continue in what we've been talking about the last couple weeks, and we'll go umpteenth weeks until we did it, because again, that phrase has just been at the center of my prayer and the center of my heart. Prepare a healthy house because I intend to fill it. And so we talk about so many other things being, and we we really in church culture, and a lot of times what happens is we're addressing what happens downstream. Like, you don't address pollution issues with the source of pollution issues at New Orleans, right? You go we're all the way up to believe it or not, in the beginning of the country where the Mississippi River starts, and you address pollution issues because it's somewhere along the way that things happen. Not saying pollution doesn't happen in the port of New Orleans, because I mean obviously it does any port, it does, but you don't address it at the end of the problem. You don't address things downstream. If you want to fix a problem downstream, you address what's upstream. So a lot of times when we deal with things as a church and when we talk with things, especially as believers, we talk about simple, we talk about solutions and practical things, which are not against the word of God and not against anything. But oftentimes what we're doing is we're addressing downstream issues when God's saying, I want to address the source. When God's saying, I want to look at that. And that's why over the pet the last the first week we talked about the house that the Lamb wants to build. And the second week we talked last week, we talked about the covenant. And so if we're talking about the individual bricks, as we move downstream and as we're addressing from source down, where we would talk about what does that look like when two of those, two of those covenant, two of those covenant believers come together in marriage. Now, again, whenever a preacher announces he's preaching on marriage, I know people immediately begin to check out and decide where the message is for him. So hear me out. Teenagers, single adults, widows, single moms, single dads, husbands here attending alone, wives attending alone. I know you're tempted to check out. Please don't do that yet. But can I ask everyone in the room not to do that today? I want to paint this in a different illustration, in a different light for you this morning. The message is not primarily about fixing marriages. It's not a marriage conference. I'm I I have a great marriage. I believe that in my, but there's still things I've got to work on. But today it's about discovering God's original design. But if we want to fix something, it's not just about practical things, and I believe we should work on our communication. I believe we should work on our conflict resolution. I believe we should work on those things. Don't get me wrong, but that's addressing things downstream. I want to address what's upstream. And so to fix something, you've got to know the source, right? And so this is about discovering God's original design. So the question we asked today, why did God create marriage? And what does it reveal about Christ? And before we can answer that question, everyone learned something. Not merely about marriage, it's about Jesus. And so think about this. The heart, it's the house, the heart, and the marriage is where we've come, we're going to. We've talked about the house he wants to build, it starts at the heart and it goes to the marriage. The lamb is restoring what sin originally distorted. And throughout the series, we've chosen not to look through the lens of our problems or our issues, but through the lens of the Lamb. So if we do we were to look at this at the the the lens of just our marriage problems, we'll chase the symptoms. We'll chase, well, he doesn't talk to me right, or he doesn't faithfully believe, or he doesn't put his socks in the hamper, or she doesn't do this, or she doesn't do that. We're not looking through those things. So if those things are in your mind this morning, go ahead and throw them off. Okay? I'm not an LPC, I'm not a marriage counselor, I don't want to be that, honestly. One marriage, my marriage is hard enough to work on and keep because that's it, it's it's it to me, it's such a big deal. But here's the thing: if we look through the lens of the land, we discover what God's designed. And if we do, again, if we discover God's design, some a lot of those things will work themselves out. Because knowing God's real design will always take us further than collecting practical solutions. Let's talk about Matthew 19 for a minute. You can throw Matthew 19 up for me. Jesus asked, He did, he uh he asked about divorces. So here's what he says, sir. He said, Have you not read who created from the beginning? He made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And so they are no longer two but one flesh, and what therefore God has joined together, let man not separate. And they said to him, Then why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away? And he said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. They asked about this. He doesn't begin with the divorce, he begins with Genesis. He says, from the beginning, from the beginning, that was not my plan. That was not my design. But here's the thing, Jesus always takes broken people back to God's original design. Even if broken, even if we've gone our own way and our hearts have been hardened, and we've made our own decisions, and things have happened in life, maybe even not our own choices, but life has happened to us, other people's choices have happened to us. Christ's plan always, and again his teaching, every facet, every man, was to bring it back to original design. This is what I intended when I set the world in motion. This is what I intended in the Garden of Eden. This is what I intended when I put Adam and Eve on the face of this earth. This is what I intended was covenant relationship and priesthood with you. This is what I've always wanted was to walk with you in the cool of the garden of the day. That's always what he's wanted. And so if we Jesus started with Genesis, we have to as well. If Jesus started at the beginning of the book, then our concept and our thinking of what marriage truly is has to go all the way back to Genesis. And so let's let's go to Genesis 2. Let's go to Genesis 2 this morning. So again, going back from Matthew, going from the beginning of the New Testament, let's jump all the way back to the Old Testament. Then the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. And every man in this house say, Amen. My God, man, men in this house, it is not good for man to be alone. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. You haven't been married yet. Okay? Or that you need to work on it. Be nice to your wife, for goodness sake. I will make him a helper. Men say a helper, a helper fit for him. Your wife is a helper, she's not a servant. I don't know who that's for this morning, but just remember that. Okay. You got God made your wife a helper. Now, out of the ground of the earth, God had formed every beast of the field and every bird that the heavens brought to them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. And so the man gave the names to all the livestock, to all the birds of the heaven, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper to fit for him. So Adam was naming the animals before Eve was ever around. Adam was already hard at work. And mind you, God's a very creative God. Like we go to the zoo, we went we went this pre- uh the uh not last week, but the week before. No, no, the week before. Yeah, sorry, I'm telling you all blurst together. Um we went to the woo the zoo the week before. I don't know if you guys know this, but it's only like three dollars to get in on Wednesdays after a certain time. So we went for like 20 bucks for a family. That's amazing. But anyways, the kid that that's free advertisement. Break, you're welcome. You can send me a check later. Um, I'm joking, I'm not sponsored. I wish I was. Zoo passes aren't cheap. Um, anyways, man, I'm totally derailing this morning. I'm telling you guys, I don't feel good. But, anyways, so God gives them an assignment. Like, have you ever seen a platypus though? Like, you got your normal stuff, like a lion's a lion, a tiger's a tiger, and then like this little platypus swims up and lays an egg, and Adam's probably like, what in the world do I call this thing? And he didn't have a helper to do it. So if there's a dumb name for an animal, we can just probably chalk it up to a man's fault, okay, women. So, like, just just know that we needed you in the beginning, but God hadn't given you yet. So that's why everything past animal names are probably good things because there was a helper involved. But anyways, the man, uh, so God put uh God put Adam into a deep sleep, and then uh uh he took one of his ribs and he closed it up in the flesh, and that rib the Lord had taken out uh uh uh from man, he made a woman and brought her to the man. And then notice uh Adam's response. The man said, This is uh at this is at la this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, and should be should be called woman because she was taken out of man. And therefore a man shall leave his uh his father and his mother and hold fast his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. So we've got to realize God God how how did God create all the animals? He spoke 'em, right? How did God create Adam? Out of the dust of the earth. But how was Eve made? Out of the rib. He was she was made out of what was already created. She was created out of created creation, hence why he called Adam called her woman, that you came from man. But how beautiful of a partnership from the beginning did God establish that he said, I'm not gonna go pick up some other dust. I'm gonna take what was from you and make something for you out of it. You see how specific God is when he has a plan and he has a design. And this is where the beginning of the idea of marriage is there is this perfect union. I'm not saying that when you're going out, you're going and advertising and speed dating, hey, are you the rib that I lost? Like, you that's not that's not how I never you I promise I never used that wife that line on my wife. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Like, um, I I mean there's some other cheesy pickup lines, but like that's the thing. God, God was so intentional. Like he spoke all the other things, he shaped Adam and breathed the breath of life in him, but out of Adam, he created Eve. And together, God created a union where there was they were one flesh. And does that begin they came one like freakish, abominable? No, no, no. There was something different. That word cleave there means something different. And here, you gotta think about it though. God creates the concept of marriage before government, before Israel is named and established as a nation, before the law was given, before the church was created. It's woven into the fabric of creation itself. After the seven days of creation, marriage. That's how important it is to God. That's how important it is to God. Marriage wasn't invented by culture, it is not a cultural thing. It wasn't invented by the government, and I understand that you sign government papers that recognize it, and that's for tax purposes and reasons. Don't get me wrong. Marriage wasn't invented by man, it belongs to God. It belongs to God because it originated from him. But here's the thing marriage is not about contract. It is not about contract. I know we sign a con a marriage contract when we get married. That is about government and about tax status. But when God sees marriage, he sees covenant. And if we know anything about covenant from what we talked about last week, if we begin to take that idea and apply it to it, it changes that. Notice what Genesis 2 and 24 says. This is that going back to that verse about leaving and cleaving. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they'll become one flesh, one flesh. Leave, cleave, one flesh. And this is this this word cleave, meaning that, you know, it's not it. This like we we we we we have this idea that all this is is about is about sexual intimacy, and it's not because that word there, uh Debak means something else. That was Hebrew covenant language. That's the same kind of language, that is the same word that they would use when when saying that Israel would cleave to the Lord their God. From creation, God was illustrating what he wanted out of covenant. From the creation and from the inception of all of this, God was establishing something and showing covenant that it wasn't a contract, it wasn't, well, I agree to these responsibilities and I'd agree to these responsibilities, and these are tax benefits, and this is all this other stuff. No, God said this thing is about covenant, and it's always gonna be about covenant, no matter what anybody else says. Because when one person leaves and cleaves, they come together and there is a binding and there is a union. And just like God wanted his people of Israel to be dependent on him, so should the people in a marriage, the man and a woman in a marriage, be dependent on each other. And for some of us, that's a scary concept because we already wrestle as the solo, what we talked about last week, alone in covenant relationship with God. We wrestle with the idea of being dependent on God. Therefore, when we come together and we try to join together in marriage, we have problems being dependent on each other because we were never dependent on him first. Notice Adam already had a relationship with God and already talked to God and already knew God before Eve was ever created out of his rib. And that's what God, the with the order that God's trying to establish. It's not that that, and I'm getting too far ahead of my notes, but it's not that we come together as two halves make a whole in marriage. No. What God is saying is I already created Adam whole and I created Eve whole, but when they leave and cleave and they're together and I join them together, they become something beautiful and new. That's what marriage is is when two believers who are dependent fully on God by themselves come together and say, All of a sudden this becomes something more, and this becomes something new, and this becomes something God ordained. It's not that two halves find a hole. No, it's two holes come together and make a hole. This is where we go to and going right into it. This is where we talk about that threefold cord in in the verse of Ecclesiastes, that a three-four cold cord is not easily broken. And we mention it all the time, we mention it all the time in marriage ceremonies, but we don't really like explain it well that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fail, one will lift up the fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. And again, if I tie if if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And although man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him, and a threefold cord is not easily broken. This is what he's saying is that is that when I start out together, and if we we talked about this, we talked about this a while ago, but if you begin to weave a rope, like a string has so much potential, right? And as soon as you weave another string into it, it has not just like additional strength. So if it only if there's one string can hold two pounds, when you weave them together, it's not that they hold four pounds, it's more, it's exponential. And every time that you weave that together and you add a new strand in until you have a piece of rope and then you twist those pieces of ropes together. Now all of a sudden you've gone from being able to hold two pounds to a thousand pounds, but when you compound it all together. Why? Because he's trying to explain, and this is what they would have taught, they that the reason why sometimes this doesn't make sense is because they taught this orally, so they would have had illustrations with them. They would have been weaving a piece of rope or weaving uh or showing how they start string from from from just like sheep's wool, and they would have been showing their children this, and this is what he's explaining that this threefold cold and that he's broken. I can snap the one and I can maybe snap the two, but as I start to get it stronger and stronger, it's harder and harder, and I need something in addition, I need some outside force, I need something else to break it. And this is what God is trying to illustrate all the way in the garden. When Adam and God were together, it was it was a it was a great union. There was nothing wrong with it being Adam and God, but God recognized that Adam, it wasn't good for Adam to be alone in the human sense. And so they didn't say, okay, I'm gonna go take and I'm gonna make this other chord. He said, No, what's gonna happen is I'm just gonna weave her in beautifully to what you and I already have. It wasn't, okay, you're gonna separate from me and then go weave into her. He said, No, what you and I have already developed in this relationship you and I already developed, we'll just bring her right on in. And what's gonna happen is that is that no matter no matter what happens, if you're weak one day, she'll be strong for you. If you're if she's weak one day, you're gonna be strong for her. And this thing, a Christian marriage isn't merely about the husband and wife, it's husband, wife, and Christ woven together. And again, it matters that that's the center of it. The strength of the cord isn't found in the husband, even though we're called to be providers, even though we're called to be leaders in our home, even though we're called to be priests in our home, the strength isn't found in the wife, even though she's clothed in beauty, even though the wife talks about how much wisdom she brings to the home, read Proverbs 31. The strength is found in Christ. All the other things and the roles that husbands and wives bring, those are all in addition to what God has already brought to the table. We just accentuate the beauty that He's already laid out. And Malachi 2 says this, and this is this this was this was new to me, and I just like it's it stuck out to me so much. But what you say, why does he not? Because the Lord is a witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. God is witness to the covenant. Marriage belongs to him. You aren't inviting Jesus into your marriage, you're already entering into a covenant that already belongs to him. And this is where we've strayed so much in Western culture from the idea of marriage, because marriage wasn't just a contract between families joining together and this family coming together, and this family coming together, and there's all these needs and benefits that are met. That's what happened when somebody like Solomon, who's supposed to be the wisest man on earth, started picking up wives along the way because he wanted to broker peace amongst the nations, and then all of a sudden the wisest man on earth has 700-something wives and concubines, like, dude, what happened to your wisdom? It's because he took what was beautiful, what was holy, what was right in God's eyes, and put a different context on it. Marriage was not about the benefits, marriage was not about peace and security, marriage was not about any of those things. Marriage about what's coming together as a threefold cord, two perfect holes coming together in a perfect union with a perfect God. And this is where everything changes. Let's go to Ephesians 5. I know I want to apologize and say, I'm sorry for so much scripture this morning. But I want to go through scripture so you believe me. It ain't me. It's scripture. Husbands. Wives say, husbands. Love your wives. Love your wives. Oh, you don't have to repeat that part. That's okay. I just want them to get your attention. Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for. Pretty big instructions, husbands. That he may sanctify her and have cleansed her by the washing with his word. So that it might be present in the in the church to himself in splendor without spot or any wrinkle of such thing that she might be holy without blemish. Go back, go back, go back to the scriptures before. That she might be holy and without blemish. Paul isn't teaching just about marriage here. I don't know if you picked up on this yet. Paul isn't just talking about marriage here. And in the next scripture, yes, he starts to go into how wives should love their husbands. But look at look at this language. So that he might be present, so he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy without blemish. Paul isn't teaching about marriage, he's revealing Christ. He's revealing Christ in this. Look at the language used that she might be holy without blemish. He's talking about a bride getting presented to the bridegroom. And there was already there was already there was already purification rituals for the wedding and things that they didn't make sure that the bride would be ready for the for the bridegroom. But Paul's using the same language when he's talking about the church and Christ. And so either we miss something in the beginning from Genesis all the way to when the apostle Paul's talking about, because watch what happens, and we go to the next verse, and this is the response. All the husbands say, wives. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves the wives, he loves himself, for no one else hated his own flesh, but nourishes his flesh just as uh and cherishes just as Christ as a church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man again going back, he's quoting scripture here. Therefore, this is not Paul, this is not Paul writing in the words of Paul. He's he's quoting the law. He studied the whole thought. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And the mystery is profound. And I am saying that it refers to Christ in the church. So if you didn't pick it up in the scriptures earlier, he's saying it, and Paul has to say it plainly here. I'm talking about Christ and the church. This is the mystery. Marriage points beyond itself. Marriage shows something so much bigger. Look, look at here, here, hear me this morning. And this is where I'm talking to everybody in the house today. I'm not just talking to married people. You don't have to be married to learn from marriage. Because marriage was never designed to point to itself. If marriage was meant to glorify itself, it would have never been made by God. But everything God makes has a purpose in teaching and glorifying him. And so if marriage, if that perfect union between man and woman glorifies God, it's also an illustration of example of him being the bride and the church being his bridegroom. It always points to him. So watch this. This is this is Adam. This is Adam and this is and this is Jesus Christ. Adam slept and Christ died. Adam had his side open and Christ had his side pierced. The bride was formed for Adam, but the bride of Christ is redeemed. Adam failed his bride, but Christ rescued his. This is the example that Paul is talking about. Even though Adam didn't get it all right, there would be a man introduced that would come for his bride and show the kind of love, an example, the kind of exemplary sacrifice that it takes for a bride, that it takes for a man and to be a proper husband, is that he puts all else above uh uh uh everything. And this is and this is here, here, here, here again, going back to Ephesians 5. Let me go back to Ephesians 5 for me again so you don't get mad at me. You can get you can you can take it up with God because it's his word. Go back to Ephesians 5 for me. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and he gave himself up for husbands, love your wives. Not just love your wives, period, but love your wives as Christ loved the church and he gave himself up for. The husband is the first to be called to die. And this is, I'm telling you, this is uncomfortable to talk about, but I think we've got we've gotten to a point in society and especially again Western and American culture that we've missed it so much. I believe that yes, you should reap the rewards of your labor. I I I I I I I think I I yes, I I I I'm I'm okay with guys having nice things. And just don't get me wrong, but hear me first. I'm not talking about physically dying. I'm talking about selfishly. We have to die to pride, to comfort, to ourselves, to being right, to convenience, to ego. Why? Because you have to think about it. If a healthy, if if if healthy marriages are produced by healthy individuals who are in covenant with God, then the byproduct of a healthy marriage should be children who start out in a healthy covenant with God. Why? Because with with these little people, way more is caught than me taught by my mouth. I can sit down all day and tell my boys how to apologize for something's wrong. But if they never see their dad apologize to their mom when I'm wrong or when I've spoken to her in a tone that I shouldn't have spoken to, where I said a word that I shouldn't have said. If my boys never see me do that, I can tell them till I'm blue in the face, until they're 18 years old, and decide to go out on their own. But until they see it in action, and this is what's this is what happens in the home, is because it again, the individual covenant people coming together in a perfect union with God. This will be the teaching and this will be the mold where little disciples are made. The Bible actually actually calls it and use the word home, and the word they use for home, it's more it also can be interpreted as little sanctuary. You already see where Jesus is going with this one, right? Is that at home, this will be the place that your little disciples are established. I love Sunday school and I am all for Sunday school, and I will fight hell and high water that Sunday school persists and go on and whatever's needed. But here's the thing Sunday school can is only one day of the week. Your homeschooling on God is six days of the week. You have to be when you go home, husbands, it is our job to die to our pride and to our ego. And if we teach, if we if if we if we learn to apologize, our kids are gonna learn to apologize. If we learn to sacrifice, even without saying it, our kids are gonna learn to sacrifice. If we learn to navigate life without complaining, but rather blessing about blessing God's name when we're going through it and we're struggling, you know what our kids are gonna do? They're gonna learn that when they struggle, they can still bless God's name. Husbands, it sucks sometimes being a husband and being the first one to die and being the leader. It is hard. There are plenty of times that I would much rather have my preference. I would much rather go fishing. I would much rather have some quiet time. Let's just be honest and let's be real. I would much rather have that quiet time, but I realize the weight of what's at home. I realize I have to realize the weight of the covenant between me and my wife, but I also have to realize the weight of what has been produced by that covenant and been the fruit of that covenant is that I've got three little people with their eyes on me watching every day, every word and every action. So if I don't get it right first with my wife, and then what's downstream is these little people down for me are gonna catch everything that I'm doing, how I'm saying things, how I'm looking at her, how I'm treating her. And then they're either gonna apply that in their life. That becomes the lens they look through. I'm telling you this morning, God is trying to speak to us this morning, not that you would just fix your marriages and get things right and talk better to each other. The Holy Ghost will work those things out. But what the Holy Ghost wants to do today and this morning is to expose what marriage is truly supposed to be. Children don't become what we expect, they often become what we consistently observe. And here we're let's turn the room outward for a minute. Teenagers, single adults, single moms, spouse, you have a spouse that doesn't believe, widows in the house. This isn't about your marital status, this is about God's covenant. Marriage illustrates something that every believer belongs to. We are all his bride. Being married in the earthly sense doesn't exclude you from what God is trying to illustrate. We are all the bride of Christ. We are all the bride of Christ. And some of you guys this morning, I I want to apologize from the depths of my heart, you didn't see a good marriage when you were younger. I apologize for those of you that have seen marriages that that that ended as fast as they started. And some of you, you you never lived in a home where you had a mom and a dad who were married, and you don't you don't know the context of these things, and you don't know the blessing and the and and and and the generational blessings that from it, but can I tell you God can establish something in you in a belief in a God can establish something in you as a believer this morning that will bless you, that will bless your spouse, that will bless your children. And even though you may have come from a foundation where you as a child were looking up and you didn't see words that were kind, you didn't see a dad who taught you how to apologize, you didn't see any of those things. What God's saying is that if you come into covenant relationship with me at first, I can work the rest out. What has been spoken over to you, what has been taught to you, I can transform your heart, I can transform your mind. I can show you how to be a husband. I can show you how to be how to be how to be a bride. I can show you because here's the thing children are not just something that happens with marriage. Children are a byproduct and a blessing, they are the fruit of marriage. And God doesn't call us to have children first to get the marriage right. What God is saying is, I want you to get this right because I'm gonna give you these beautiful little gifts. And I want what's in you to be pure so as it flows to them, this river of living water that flows. And we talked about Tuesday night. Our job in keeping holy is not that we look amazing on the outside, but we're what the purity of the flow that is coming out of our mouths, that's coming out of our hearts, what we speak, what we think, what we do, that purity flowing down to our children and our children's children. And what I put into my children when they go to the store or when they go to school or wherever they go, somebody by by proxy somewhere is catching my marriage at home. Now, all of a sudden, this idea that we have of marriage it shifts and it changes. This isn't about contract anymore, this isn't about fulfilling a house, this isn't about tax status, and this isn't about certain exemptions and certain things, but this is about reflecting Christ and his bride. And I'm thankful for marriage. I'm thankful that I'm not alone. Angela's my best friend. I I'm I'm so excited. Like I'm I wake up every day, we're we're going on 10 years. April for us makes 10 years, and I love her more than the day I married her. But I I I have to I have to step take a step back. And we have to be careful too, because we can even idolize that. I have to make sure that even 10 years in, do I love God more than I love my wife? Because if I can't do that, then how can I lead her to that? How can I lead my kids to that? And here's what happens is people don't realize often I'm just gonna give you some free tips here. If you're if you're dating somebody today, you might want to take your hand out of their hand right now. You might want to check your you might want to check your boyfriend or your girlfriend's prayer life. You might want to check their consistency in their Bible reading. You might want to check their consistency with God. Why? Because it's shown more oftentimes than not the consistency is that's the consistency they're gonna have with you. I'm not saying people can't change. But what I'm saying is we don't change people, God does. If someone's not willing to submit to God before they're willing to submit to you as a husband and wife, I'm telling you, it's better to stay away. Why? The Bible talks about being unequally yoked. And and it's to oftentimes, again, this is it's the Bible is so illustrative. If you guys need illustrations or stuff, look them up on the internet. I'm telling you, there's all kinds of great materials out there. But a yoke is a yoke is is that thing that puts oxen together. And they usually tie a stronger ox with a weaker ox. And yes, there's husbands, so and again, they use that reference in marriage. The husband is going to be the stronger one, but at some point they join together and that helper runs alongside of the husband. Because what happens when you tie a stronger ox to a to a weaker ox is that eventually the the weaker ox has to catch up and learn the ways of the stronger ox. Or why? Suddenly the line goes this way. Because the stronger ox is pulling and the and and the weaker ox is just following. Here, God is asking us to join together and follow him, follow him in in our marriages, just like we would be following him if we were individuals. And if I can't do it as an individual, I'm sure gonna have a hard time trying to lead somebody else at the same time. This is again, this is why this is so hard when people date out, and this is again, I'm I'm again, I'm all over the place right now, but and this is what pastoring like. When you date outside of your faith, this is why it's so hard. Not because we just believe that that Christians should just date Christians and we just want to make this exclusive club. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's because you want to marry marriage is something so much bigger than just a governmental contract. You want to marry somebody who you're gonna spend your life with who believes the same way you believe, who prays the same way you pray, who seeks God the same way you seek God, who fasts the same way you fast. Why? Because you're gonna end up having to do it one way or another. Because you're either gonna be praying and fasting in the beginning and walk into a marriage, a marriage and prayer to fasting, or you're gonna get into the marriage and pray and fast that God changes the other person. Again, I'm not here to address downstream issues. There are plenty of times to talk to marriage counselors and to work on conflict resolution and to work on these other things. What God is saying, if you will go back to the source, if you'll go back to my plan, if you go back to what I was trying to show you, a lot of those things will work themselves out. And this is the house that God wants to build. God wants to build a house that that's that's a that focuses on what he wants to build first. And that starts with the individual. And when individuals are right, marriages become right. And when marriages become right, children become right. And when children become right, all of a sudden now you have you have parents and children who can lead. And when you have leaders, you have people who create a healthy church culture. When you create a healthy church culture, then the community is going to be reached by the power of God. This is the house that God wants to build. This is what God wants to prepare. So we bring you back to the covenant. How many of you actually remember your wedding vows? For better? For richer? In sickness? Where'd you learn to make promises like that? They're all borrowed. What's God's vows? I'll never leave thee. I'll never forsake thee. Faithful despite Israel being unfaithful. Faithful despite Peter cursing his name. Faithful despite you and I being you and I. Marriage vows have always been echoes of God's vows. Go to the book of Revelation for me. This is crazy because this all started with a marriage, right? A marriage in the garden. And Revelation 19, this all ends in a wedding. History begins with a wedding. And history ends with a wedding. In Genesis, it's the first marriage between Adam and Eve. And then you see this. Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, the roar of many waters, and the uh and the sounds of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, Hallelujah, for the Lord all God, Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exalt him and give him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come. And the bride has made herself ready. And it was granted for her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure, for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, Write this blessed are those who invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he said to me, These are the true words of God. He said, I started this with a marriage in a garden. And when all this wraps up, you as my bride will be seated at a table with me. This is the promise of marriage. And again, I apologize to those of you who have experienced firsthand that was it was it was it wasn't supposed to be. Maybe you've grown up this, maybe you've grown up and you didn't experience marriage the way it was supposed to be. But can I tell you, there is a God who is wanting to work in your life. There is a God who is wanting to work in your marriage or in your future marriage. There is a God who's wanting to heal what is going on. But what he's wanting us to do is to first direct our attention to what marriage was always supposed to be. A reflection of him and his pride. And if we can constantly put that in front of our eyes, husbands and wives, then we can make it through our marriages each and every day. We're gonna fight, we're gonna argue. Men, because your wife's probably right. Wives because you just don't like his tone when we are right. That is funny, you can laugh at that. Notice my wife's not in the room, so I can say what I want. But if we put that in front of our eyes every day and we change through the lens of he doesn't speak right to me, or she doesn't talk right to me, or she doesn't cook the way I like, or the way I my mom used to, or any of these other things that we put on. I don't like the way she handles money, I don't like the way he handles money. If we pull back all those other things, those are just those are just small momentary problems in the grand light of eternity. And what God's asking us to do is put the lens in which he spoke about marriage and he created marriage. I don't know where you see yourself in today's message. Maybe you are a husband, maybe you are a wife, maybe you're just maybe you're just like, well, I'm just a teenager. Maybe you're carrying the weight of raising children alone, maybe you're praying for a spouse who doesn't know Christ yet. Maybe you're just waiting and wondering what your future holds. But before he ever called you to reflect covenant, may I remind you this morning that he called you into one. Before he asked husbands to lay down their life, Christ lay down his. And before he asked wives to walk in faithful covenant, he proved himself to be the faithful bridegroom. Today isn't about becoming a better husband or a better wife. It's uh about seeing the bridegroom more clearly because when we see him, we can begin to reflect him. When we begin to see God, we can reflect him. Why don't we stand all across this house today? I'm not making an altar call this morning for marriages. I'm not making an altar call for those that feel like they're struggling because they're the only one in the house living for God. I know statistically that moms are more likely to come to the house of God first and their and their children, but it's also statistically proven that when a man leaves his family to God, they're more likely to stay. And there there's reason, there's power in that. Why? Because of covenant. I'm not making an altar call this morning for people who are struggling because you feel like you've been in you've been single for a while and you don't know what's next. My altar call this morning is for everybody in this house. It's because the individual covenant has to matter first before the outside covenant does. Because if what's in here isn't right, it'll never be right with her. It'll never be right with my kids. And and and and and again, whatever station you are in life, whether you feel like you're struggling or you feel like you could come up here and preach a marriage conference, which you probably can. Brother, brother Dobson, how long have you guys been married? That should tell you something right there. There are people more qualified in this room to talk to you today about marriage. They've been married longer than I've been alive, right? More than 30 years. Okay, 56 years, almost twice as long as I've been alive. Okay, they know the secret sauce to being married. It's because he treats her like the bride of Christ. And she and her relationship treats him like the the the brother the bride the bride would treat her bridegroom. But it starts as individual covenants and making the decision that every day I'm gonna when I put my feet on the floor, I'm gonna emulate him. And as a wife, every day when I peep You put your feet on the floor, you're gonna emulate him. And every day, as a even as a single person, every day that I put my feet on the floor, it's not just about marriage, it's about being in the right person. I have to be the right person before I can become someone else's person. Kids, you may be here this morning and your parents aren't here, and you don't have a good you don't have a great reflection at home. But can I tell you, God loves you and He's got a plan for your life, and all that you've seen and all that you've heard, you can have a wonderful marriage one day, you can have a wonderful house one day. God's gonna pour out his blessings on you. And what you all what all that matters is what you decide in a moment like this that God, I'm gonna follow you with all my heart. And when you follow God with all your heart, he picks up all your mistakes, all your failures, all the other junk that you don't want to deal with. And when you walk in covenant with him, what's it look like? Day by day, moment by moment. And again, what is what is righteousness defined by in the Bible? Is when you fall, get back up. Righteousness isn't being perfect, holiness isn't about getting it all right, it's just deciding that when I do, I falter, I do mess up, I go back to the source. And again, what are we talking about? And all of this is about putting this back to the source and back to the design that God wanted. And if I'm gonna get my marriage right, I've got to get the first covenant right, I've got to get this one right. And so this morning, I'm not here to fix your marriage. Again, there's people who are way more qualified for me to give you advice and give you and give you a relationship and any of that kind of stuff. What I'm here to do is call you this morning and say, if you want to be a better husband, if you want to be a better wife, if you want to be a better fiance, if you want to be a better, a better boyfriend, girlfriend, if you want to be a better human in general, it starts with covenant here. It starts with first understanding dying to self before I can die to self for another person. At first, I was saying that I have an established prayer life, I have established Bible reading, I have established relationship with God because out of this relationship is gonna flow everything else. So again, I don't know where you're at this morning, I don't know your your your your your station in life, I don't know all that stuff. I just know a God who says, Hey, I've been here the whole time through all your fears, your failures, mistakes, your highs, your lows, the moments you want on your highlight reel, and the ones you're trying to burn and uh permanently delete out of your reel. But would you come back to me? And would you love me once again? Because I've never stopped loving you. Why don't this morning, if you want to come pray around the front, you can come pray around the front. If you want to kneel right where you're at, can we just turn this into a house of prayer? Can we turn this into a house of rededication? Can we turn this into a house of just reconsecrating ourselves to God right now and getting that covenant right? God, here we are. Here we are in the middle of our imperfection, here we are in the middle of our brokenness, here we are in the middle of our worry and our trying to figure everything out. But here more importantly, God, we know that that it starts here. And as a husband myself, I declare today that if if I don't get this right, God, that I'll never get the downflow right. God, I want to be right with you first because I've got to be the right man before I can be the right husband, and I've got to be the right husband before I can be the right father. So take me back to the basics, take me back to the foundation. God, convict me in my prayer life, convict me in my Bible reading, convict me in my fasting, convict me in my conversation with you. God, let my heart be enamored with you. Bring me back to my first love, bring me back to the place where I remember what it was like to get filled with the gift of the Holy Ghost first time. Bring me back to the moment where I understood and it was it was revelation, it was an aha moment, it was a light bulb where the God of the universe actually loves me. God, never let me forget what it's like to feel that love in my life. And God help me in every one of my words and one of my ways and my actions to emulate that. God, I know I can never return the love that you've given me. I know I can never equal that, but God, I can give you every moment of every day. I can give you the good, the bad, and the ugly. God, I can give you my successes, I can give you my failures, I can give you everything in between, I can give you every high moment of my life, every low moment, every every every every joyous thing, every gracious thing. God, I just want to love you. So would you teach me, God? Would you teach me if I did if you this morning, if you didn't have an example of that, God, would you teach us how to love? Would you show us through your word? Would you show us through your bride, through the church, how to love people, how to love one another, how to give of ourselves so willingly? Let that be reflected in your bride here on this earth, God.