Spank Therapy: Who's Been Naughty

Annette Benedetti [00:00:43]:

Today's locker room talk topic is spank therapy. Who's been a bad boy, girl person? What is it? Now, I've talked about spanking on this podcast a lot. Y'all know I love a good spanking. I love getting one. I love giving one. But I am no professional, and I have never been spanked by a professional, and I am so excited, folks. This is a treat for you. It's a treat for me. It's a treat for my partner. Listen up, buddy. I have a special guest, miss Chris. She is an internationally recognized disciplinarian, a toy maker, a life coach, and an educator and mentor in the spanking arts. Like, this is the real shit, people. This is the real shit. She was last seen on the Doctor's TV show, and she is gracing my podcast with her presence. And hey, I want you all to listen close to this whole podcast. It's going to be packed with incredible information, but make sure you stay for the last five minutes, because that's where I'm going to do my Locker Room Talk. Takeaways that's right. That is where we are going to sum up and bullet point the most important parts of this episode and what you can use in your sex life, intimate life, personal life, starting tonight to spice it up, improve it, make it better. So don't fast forward. Don't do it. Listen all the way to the end. Mr. Chris, I gave them a little snippet of who you are, but you have so much more to you. Can you please tell my listeners about you?

Miss Chris [00:02:31]:

Certainly. My c name is Miss Chris. My real first name is actually Chris, but like to put the miss on there. That certainly designates me as a top in the BDSM scene. I've been doing this for about 16 years, folks. I've spanked hundreds of people, thousands of people. I've gone to many, many events and parties. I've spoken in front of international audiences about spanking. Spanking is my passion. It is what I do. 24 x seven. If I wasn't doing it professionally, I would definitely be doing it in my lifestyle. My wife is my submissive. She's my bottom, and she's my little and we'll go into that maybe a little bit. But welcome to the podcast. I'm really excited to be here. I'm always interested in talking about spanking. I could talk about spanking for 24 hours a day. So I'm really happy to be focusing especially on spank therapy. Today. Spank therapy is near and dear, especially near and dear to my heart because it's using spanking to help alleviate symptoms of conditions that we might have in our regular daily lives.

Annette Benedetti [00:03:55]:

Yeah, all right. So she's excited, I'm excited. This might be the highlight of my podcasting for all the personal reasons. Okay. All the personal reasons my listeners know. So I always, when I'm inviting a guest on, tell them you got to drink something with me. And it's eleven in the morning, I've got coffee. Now, when I first emailed miss Chris, she was like, I'm going to have coffee protein, and I think you said some sort of water. And she's like, I triple fist. And I'm like, oh, I like her.

Miss Chris [00:04:31]:

Well, this morning I'm double fisting it. I've got a protein shake in one hand, and I've got my bubbly in the other. I don't receive kickbacks from bubbly, but this is one of the brands that I drink.

Annette Benedetti [00:04:44]:

Maybe now you will. I've got my coffee, and I am ready to cheers in and start talking about spank therapy. So, cheers. Let's talk about spanking. All right, we're going to start with the basics. Now, most everyone has heard about spanking in a sexual situation. I've had many people take random swings at my ass during sex. It happens all the time. I definitely have a spanking fetish fantasies. I've experienced different feelings while being spanked. I don't think I have yet had a complete fulfilling 100% hit my every sweet spot spanking yet. But I want to talk about it in the term that I had never heard it used, spank therapy. That term used. So can you talk, speak to that?

Miss Chris [00:05:41]:

Sure. A lot of people, when they see the term spank therapy, they jump to a conclusion that I might be a doctor or a nurse, or a counselor, or a therapist, psychologist, or a social worker. Let me caveat this by saying I am none of those things. I am not licensed to perform any medical procedures. I'm not a doctor. And spank therapy is no replacement for real therapy. If you're in real therapy and you're kind of lackluster about it, it's not really working for you, then the addition of spanking with a focus on spank therapy is probably a good idea for you.

Annette Benedetti [00:06:28]:

And what are reasons, conditions, situations that might send someone looking for spank therapy?

Miss Chris [00:06:37]:

Sure. I get a lot of people who have depression. I have a lot of people who have anxiety. I have a lot of people who have ADHD, attention deficit, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I have a lot of people who are on medication for some serious conditions. Borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, various triggers and traumas from childhood especially or from adulthood. All of these conditions. This is not a cure all. I am not healing any medical conditions. What we are doing with spanking is alleviating some symptoms and the way that we do that is through pain. Now, I've got a specific technique that doesn't include a ton of pain, but I start very gradually spanking with my hands. And what this does is it triggers a number of chemical responses in the body. So when you first start to get spanked, you've got some adrenaline running through you. You're excited, you are ready to fight or fly. At this point, your body might be starting to feel a little bit of sensation on your backside. Not pain, yet sensation percussion and your endorphins are released at this point. Now, endorphins is the body's natural pain mitigators. So what happens is when endorphins get released, your pain levels come down and your ability to think on your feet quickly becomes evident. So it's this endorphin rush that helps people with ADHD. Settle down, calm down, relax a little bit. So if I keep spanking you past the adrenaline stage, past the endorphin stage. Now we're starting to get into your happy hormones, your serotonin, your dopamine. If you're familiar with these two brain chemicals, you know that those are our antidepressant drugs naturally occurring in the body. So when serotonin and dopamine are released, we have a sense of well being, we have a sense of connection and love. Okay? We start to form connections with our spanker. At this point, we feel a lot more relaxed, we feel a lot more safe in our skin. All of a sudden, we feel a sense of authenticity. And all the while, all of these chemicals are reacting to reduce your pain and to make it so you can think clearly. These are archaeologically chemicals that when we were faced with a saber tooth tiger in neanderthal times, we had to think very fast. We had to think clearly, we had to fight or fly, flee, basically. So the release of these chemicals makes us think a lot clearer. All of a sudden, our brains defuzz a little bit. Our stress levels go down during this whole process. I know that because I was a part of a study that measured cortisol, which is your stress hormone, in your saliva before, during, and after play. And the study indicated that play reduced cortisol levels. So play spanking reduces stress. Stress is the big, big theme here because as we get more and more stressed from our daily lives, we become less functional. Our thoughts get muddy, we get to be like a pressure cooker where we explode at any little thing. Spanking is a way to let off steam and to reduce those stress levels so we can start to be functional in our lives again. Is that a good explanation for spank therapy? A little bit.

Annette Benedetti [00:11:15]:

That is amazing. Yeah. And it resonates with my experience. I am someone with high anxiety panic disorder. I'm very open about that. It seemed counterintuitive to me that it would go well with my disposition, but it actually yeah, you experience as a receiver. I experience that heightened anxiety at the beginning, and then there's this sort of dive down into relaxation and euphoria. And definitely, I'm pretty sure, one of the biggest bonding bonds between me and my partner early on our second date, I believe we engaged in BDSM, and spanking was a big part of that. And it was like this, and he was probably one of the first people to do it really well. And it was just this like suddenly all of the walls, the false pretenses, the images we had put up dropped, and I felt like I was in this very authentic experience with another human, and it was very impactful. So I am curious, who comes to you? Typically, I want to talk like gender situational. If you were to look at your overall typical client, who are you seeing show up or contact you and reach out?

Miss Chris [00:12:55]:

I have every gender. I have virtually every age. I would say my most frequent type of client is an older male bottom. I've spanked people into their 90s. Wow. Yeah. It is an activity that you can do with modifications all the way into your eighty s or ninety s. You've got to make accommodations, of course, but all ages really come to me. I have people as young as 18 who want to session with me. I don't accept people that young. They really have to be about 25 or older, older, I think, to really appreciate doing a professional session. I've got quite a few transgendered clients, and one of the things that I really like to do, especially with transgendered clients, is role play with them at a younger age in the gender that they were born as inside. So I had a transgendered man come to me. He was 70 years old. He only transitioned at 60. So he spent his life living as a woman up until age 60. I saw him at 70. He was just starting to explore. Kink definitely was a Spanko, but I gave him some introductory role play sessions, and we focused on his behavior as a little boy, getting disciplined for things for boy things in boy clothing, the way that he thought he was always and that experience, that acceptance, that authenticity, even though it's within a role play. We were able to recreate some experiences for him in the gender that his mind is very powerful, psychologically powerful stuff. There's a bunch of different therapies all surrounding this type of role play. Legitimate therapies transactional analysis and psychodrama and acceptance therapies.

Annette Benedetti [00:15:33]:

Yeah, I was wondering I've done a lot of research on spanking BDSM, and it has been studied. There are a lot of medical studies that show the benefits. This isn't something that anybody's just making up. It's been studied and is continuing to be studied. This is real. And a lot of people also seek out spank therapy and other BDSM processes, scenes for therapeutic reasons due to past traumas. I am curious because people might say, well, God, if somebody went through trauma in their youth or in their life, how would this not make the trauma worse? Especially if it was abuse or rape or any of those things. And I do know for a fact that people who have been abused and raped and sexually assaulted do seek out this kind of therapy. Can you explain to the listener how.

Miss Chris [00:16:34]:

In the world sure, absolutely. So when we're children, we don't have any control. Things are done to us without our consent. We're children and the trauma that occurs to children stick with us for our entire lives and affect us in our adult lives. So when we create a scene based on a past trauma, it's with the understanding that now you're an adult, now you are the one in control. Even if you're the bottom, you're the one in control. You can direct the scene basically inside the scene to your benefit. And it's a form of Reexposure therapy. So if you're familiar with something called EMDR, eye movement, desensitization and randomization, that is a trauma therapy in which the brain's synapses are rerouted around trauma. And the way that it's rerouted there is when we're asleep, when we're in REM sleep, our eyes, you will find, move back and forth. It has been studied that that eye movement, that back and forth eye movement is critical to brain healing. So at night we heal from whatever happened during the day. And so when we are forced to look left and right or to feel something in our palms left and right, or to hear a sound left and right, we are being healed at the same time. You're talking about the trauma that is affecting you. You're telling the therapist what happened in great detail. So while you're doing this left, right, left, right, you're relaying the trauma. It's reexposure therapy. And the more that you're reexposed to it, the more you heal from it. We cannot just repress trauma and hope it goes away. It's not going to go away. It's just going to get buried deeper and deeper and deeper and eventually something is going to trigger that and it's going to come out in a way that we don't want it to come out. So we definitely want to address those traumas. I was contacted by an EMDR therapist once and was asked if I realized that I was doing a form of EMDR when I was spanking. Left, right, left right. So at the same time we're doing a role play, we're re exposing them. They're not only talking about their experience, they're reexperiencing it.

Annette Benedetti [00:19:48]:

I've got a couple of questions. First of all, spanking isn't always connected to sex, correct? Sometimes it is.

Miss Chris [00:19:57]:

Correct. There are many, many people in the spanking scene and spanking is non sexual. Sex can be negotiated into it if you've got a partner. But in general the default is no sex.

Annette Benedetti [00:20:15]:

Right? Well, I've definitely used it during sex.

Miss Chris [00:20:19]:

A lot of us do. A lot of us do. A lot of us use it as foreplay. For some of us, spancos, spanking is our sexuality. We have such a fetish. That the only thing that interests me, spanking. As a fetish. I need it somewhere in the equation for me to have a good time.

Annette Benedetti [00:20:48]:

Right. So you have different approaches to spanking for different quote treatments or traumas or lower stress, deal with a trauma, et cetera. But what about when you just have people come to you and you're like, I want to spice my sex life up. I want to add spanking to it. There is correct me if I'm wrong and I don't really know this, but I have heard and done a little research. There is actually kind of a method to that as well, or probably several methods to doing it well, correct?

Miss Chris [00:21:23]:

Absolutely. We all have our techniques, our tricks and tips for every type of spanking. You can certainly add sexual components to it. I get a lot of couples who want to spice up their sex life with BDSM, with spanking, and so I will spend time with both of those in the couple. They might both be bottoms, one might be a top, they both might be tops. I mean, who knows? I've done a lot of training of couples to add spanking into their sex life, definitely.

Annette Benedetti [00:22:12]:

And how do you walk them through that? Do you find out what their fantasy is and start working from it there? Because one thing that I learned really quickly, of course, my partner was coming from a relationship before me where BDSM had taken place. And so, of course they're coming to me kind of bringing that technique to me. And I was like, there were things about it as we moved on in our relationship that didn't work for me. The person before me liked it hard and fast right off the bat, and I was like, dude, you do that to me and I get pissed or I get and so we started talking about that and looking into what I was craving and what I was looking for from the experience. I guess I should ask, do you integrate humiliation into spanking or is your spanking?

Miss Chris [00:23:10]:

Humiliation and degradation tend to be more on the BDSM side of things. I tend to use embarrassment more mild than anything. I do have some people who really want to be humiliated in session, and I can do that. But as the domin nurtrix, humiliation is not part of my wheelhouse. Usually I like using nurturing control to bring people up instead of humiliation, degradation, to push them down. I prefer to bring I prefer to bring people up to my level as opposed to lowering them to a lower level, if that makes sense.

Annette Benedetti [00:23:57]:

I love that. Yeah, no, it does. It actually really kind of because I've been talking to my partner about our spanking experience and what I want to experience. I think what I crave is, and it seems counterintuitive, is the nurturing aspect of being spanked to I don't even know. I still can't find the words for it, but I definitely want the pleasing someone and yeah, the nurturing that comes from it. And it sounds to me like that is sort of one of your specialties.

Miss Chris [00:24:37]:

That is one of my specialties. That is definitely one of my specialties. And as such, I do associative forms of play for spanking. So I will do age play, because age play can involve spanking. I will do cuddling. Believe it or not, a lot of my sessions end up in cuddling. I know a lot of my peers have a no touching rule, except for OTK. And, oh, no, not me. No. We'll get on the couch and we'll have a full on cuddle fest.

Annette Benedetti [00:25:18]:

What is OTK?

Miss Chris [00:25:20]:

OTK is over the knee. So it's a position, the French call it the mother's position, Alame, and it's very well known as the maternal position. And OTK stands for over the knee. So if you hear OTK, it always makes means spanking.

Annette Benedetti [00:25:47]:

Yeah. So how often do you get asked for over the knee?

Miss Chris [00:25:51]:

Spanking over the knee is sort of like water. Everybody wants it, everybody needs it. OTK is probably the most requested position. It's the most intimate position. I can feel exactly what's going on in my bottom's body when they are OTK. I know when I can spank harder. I know when I should lighten up. I can feel their skin, their breathing, all of that. I assess all of that during a spanking. My job is to push you. I want to push you because I know if I push you, those chemicals that we were talking about earlier will just be dumped into your system all the more the harder I can go, the longer I can go, those chemicals will be going off like crazy.

Annette Benedetti [00:26:53]:

And what do you only use your hand? Do you use instruments? How do you know what to use when everybody's different?

Miss Chris [00:27:00]:

I do have an application, and on the application, it does have different classes of implements. So I do know if somebody does not want to be impacted with something, sometimes people will have a trigger with a certain implement, like a wooden spoon or a belt, and they will say, no leather or no wooden spoons. I almost always start out with my hand because that's my most versatile implement. I'm well known for my hand spankings. I can go long and hard. A lot of my peers cannot. They pick up an implement, but picking an implement, there's no shame in picking up an implement. Some bottoms are tougher than our hands, and it's the bottoms that should hurt, not our hands. So picking up a hairbrush or an OTK paddle, I can put them over. Once I'm done OTK them, I put them usually over my Victorian fainting couch for strapping or even a caning. But OTK is usually the start of it all.

Annette Benedetti [00:28:14]:

Can we talk about pants on, pants off, both?

Miss Chris [00:28:18]:

Now, personally, I don't think it's a real spanking unless it's on the bear. However, there are clients who wish to retain their clothes or there are clients who wish to start overclothing. And I absolutely respect that. Starting over clothing is a good way to warm somebody up. Not everybody can take a spanking really hard right out the gate. Like you were talking about earlier, most people want a nice warm up so they can sort of get into the swing of things. Their endorphins can kick in, their adrenaline kick can kick in, and that's when they start rocking and rolling.

Annette Benedetti [00:28:55]:

Right now, pants off, warmed up. There are some pictures on your site. And of course, as I've done my own research into spanking, you see spanking where it's like the butt is bleeding? What is the upper end of this?

Miss Chris [00:29:12]:

There are some people who not only want a really heavy spanking, they need a heavy spanking. I just saw a client for the first time, very severe ADHD, very severe bipolar disorder, and if he does not get a really thorough spanking, almost a full on beating, he cannot stay functional. And for him, a full on beating includes breaking the skin. He just can't get over that hump with a normal level of impact. There are some people who require that.

Annette Benedetti [00:30:04]:

And so what is the aftercare for that? So you kind of alluded to you provide some level of aftercare that also includes touch. I'm kind of wondering how your peers who don't touch people need aftercare. Correct. And I have not yet done it. Sorry, guys, I haven't done an episode on aftercare. I do plan on lining that up for you because it is something that's so left out of our culture. It really is. But what do you provide in the way of aftercare?

Miss Chris [00:30:37]:

Well, if there's any damage to the bottom first of all, I'm a big proponent of using lotion before, during and after. If you keep the bottom moisturized, it will not crack as readily, even if you're playing very hard. So let's say that I applied all my lotion and I did everything right, and we still have skin breakage. Certainly clean up the wounds, bandage them if necessary. There is a product that recently came over here from the UK. They're called blister plasters. Basically, they are round gel bandaids that you can get wet that won't move. So if you break skin, clean up everything. I use hibaccleans, which is a surgical scrub to clean the skin. I'll put some antiseptic on it. I might put a blister plaster on. And that blister plaster is supposed to stay on until it falls off. There are four blisters on your feet, but they work really well for wounds on your backside because of the fact that you're walking all the time and you're getting up and you're sitting down and you're getting up and sitting down, that area gets rubbed a lot. So you have to make sure that the scabs fall off before you play again. Certainly.

Annette Benedetti [00:32:22]:

Okay, I like folks, I'm going to just go into locker room, talk takeaways because I think what I'm realizing from this conversation is that I know nothing apparently about spanking. I knew nothing about applying lotion. I knew nothing about even that basic after care. And there are tons of people out there just taking swings at each other's asses with as much information. And look, I talk about sex all the time. I look it up all of the time. And so I'm just going to assume the fact that I know this little and I'm getting spanked more often than the most, the same is probably true with my listeners. So maybe we can do just a couple of sections, sections of takeaways here because I'm sure that a lot of people listening to this want to spank someone tonight or be spanked tonight, or at least head down that path. So let's start with prep for spanking. Let's say you want to start spanking tonight. What are some things people need to know about preparing to be spanked or.

Miss Chris [00:33:35]:

Spanked as the top? The top is usually the one in control, is usually the one making the preparations. They can certainly instruct the bottom on things to wear or an attitude to have. But really the choreographing of the scene comes from the top. So as far as I'm concerned.

Annette Benedetti [00:34:03]:

For.

Miss Chris [00:34:04]:

Me, I need a couple of things around me. I need my lotion. I use cedarfil exclusively. Cedarfil, not the lotion, but the body butter. It's really thick. It stays on. It's not greasy. It is just the schiznet. I have that. I've got water next to me. I've got a towel in case I start to sweat because I will do that sometimes and that's frustrating and annoying for me. I will have any implement around me that I might need. Sometimes I'll take a look at what I've got and I don't want any of those in the moment. I'm a very spontaneous in the moment type of person. However, if I think I'll need something, I'll pull it out, I'll make sure it's clean. Everything's really very well temperature of the room. You wouldn't think that that's important, but it is, especially for the bottoms who are getting spanked. Now. The tops might sweat a little, it might be a little bit uncomfortable for them, but I think that a little bit of a warmer room for the bottoms is a little bit better. If they're going to get a really heavy spanking, they're going to want a warmer room because afterwards they might get the shakes, they might get a little chill. Make sure that the furniture that you're going to be playing on is clean and prepped. I like to play on beds, so I have to get the pillows. All right. I get to get the table next to it. All right. And I would start over PJs. If you're going to do like a bedtime spanking or something like that, I would start over a layer. And just let me show you.

Annette Benedetti [00:36:01]:

She is going to do some demonstrations now. I'm going to try and she'll be describing what she's doing as she's doing it. But please head to my YouTube channel. It's at Annette benedetti and you can watch the demonstration. You can watch all of this. So she just pulled out a fake butt.

Miss Chris [00:36:22]:

So I just pulled out a fake butt. This is miss Dairy Air, I call her, and I do demonstrations on her. She's got a nice little bubble butt she's made out of foam. So when the bottom is clothed, make sure that you take them over your knee. And I would suggest if you're going to do it on a bed or something, have the upper body and the lower body supported of the bottom. Make sure as a top, you've got the right pillows behind you so you can stay in that position for a little while. If you're in a straight back chair, then the bottom has to work a little harder during that spanking, staying on your lap, making sure they're balanced and whatnot. So I would start with you clothed. Okay. Now, surface area, you want to go a couple of inches below the crease. Or that sit spot is right the.

Annette Benedetti [00:37:30]:

Thigh crease beneath the crease.

Miss Chris [00:37:33]:

Yes, we call that the sit spot area. That's the spot that when you sit down, that's the part that you feel the most. Up here, we call these the apples of the cheeks. Those are the fullest part of the bottom and very often the target. Okay. So we don't spank on the sides. We tend not to spank down here on the thighs. And of course, we don't want to spank up here. Here's the crack, the top of the crack. I like to go just a little bit down from the top of the crack. And there's your northern boundary. You want to stick to the fullest parts of the cheeks. Now I like to start warming somebody up with both of my hands.

Annette Benedetti [00:38:22]:

Yeah. If you go to YouTube, you can see actually the motion that she is using to warm up the butt with both hands on both cheeks.

Miss Chris [00:38:31]:

A weird position. I don't over your bottom is over my shoulder very frequently. I don't think I've ever done an over the shoulder spanking. Actually, that's something I time for a first. So over. Maybe put on some music with a nice beat. I suggest music without lyrics. So your bottom can sort of go to la la land. Okay. And you're going to be doing this. You might get a little bored as the top. You're going to be doing. This for a little while until they're very thoroughly warmed up. And then you're going to take these down. She is stripping the bat, so I'm stripping it down. Okay. So now I'm on the bear. Okay. And I'm still doing this to music. Very gradually, over the course of ten minutes, you're going to increase the intensity. Yeah, intensity. Increase the intensity.

Annette Benedetti [00:39:29]:

It does look almost like drumming. Like, I could see how it is like musical.

Miss Chris [00:39:35]:

That's why it's really good to do the music, because the music provides you at least with a beat that you can do. You don't have to be musical to do this. You don't have to have rhythm. You can just spank away. So at this point, now, I'm starting to go a little bit harder with both my hands. So at this point, I might stop with my left hand, which is my nondominant, and start spanking with my right hand. Okay.

Annette Benedetti [00:40:05]:

And it's more of a sweeping medium.

Miss Chris [00:40:09]:

Yeah, I'm sort of sweeping up a little bit because there are different ways to spank. You can spank straight on. You can glance like that, you can even go down like that. I use different hand positions, cupped splayed, just my palm, because different hand positions will create different sensations, stingy versus thuddy, for instance. So at this point, I'm starting to spank pretty hard. So now I'm going to slow down. I like to have an inverse proportion of intensity of the stroke versus pacing. So if I'm going to give you a heavy spank, I'm going to let you process it for a couple of seconds afterwards before I give you another one. Okay? So you're going to do this, you're going to keep doing this until your bottom gets a little squirmy. Once your bottom gets squirmy, you want to back up just a little tiny bit and try and keep that plateau for a while. Now, I'm talking about an hour. This scene can last about an hour, and it will result, if you do it correctly, it will result in the bottom going to subspace. Now, we haven't talked about subspace yet, but that's the inevitable endpoint that we're trying to achieve, is subspace. Subspace is a meditative head space in which you have no cares, you are completely euphoric, you have no stress, you can think very clearly, and you feel a very strong connection to your spanker. Subspace is when I ask for people's spanking bucket list, which is a very common question that I have for people, what's on your spanking bucket list? They'll list three or four things, and subspace is usually one of them. Most people would love to achieve subspace because it is just the best place on Earth. Your body feels amazing, your mind is creative and is firing on all cylinders. There's no fuzz in your head. You feel an enormous connection to the person who did this, because Oxytocin gets involved.

Annette Benedetti [00:42:53]:

How long can you stay in subspace.

Miss Chris [00:42:57]:

I've had some people report that they felt subspacey for a few days afterwards, sometimes up to a week.

Annette Benedetti [00:43:08]:

Wow.

Miss Chris [00:43:09]:

Yeah. Can you imagine having a week of mental vacation off? Can you imagine a week of no stress, being able to go through your day normally without overreacting to anything? Yeah. When I say reduce stress, I mean it tanks. I mean, it plunges.

Annette Benedetti [00:43:31]:

All right, guys, you just got, like this treat of a mini tutorial for me. Just you're listening to this on your drive home, I'm sure, or the drive to work do when you get home and some private time, check out the video. Because for me, watching what you were doing really locked in an understanding of how that works and the build up and how that would lead to euphoria. And I've never really sort of seen that progression outlined for that and a timeline given and the prep, if you fast forward it to get to the takeaways, then you're going to want to rewind because Ms. Chris also outlined how to do the aftercare if there's any skin breakage or anything like that. Now, let's say there's not skin breakage. And let's sum this up with but you're done. It's been an hour. You are exhausted. How do you wrap it up and end it and make it this nice end package?

Miss Chris [00:44:48]:

I really like full body contact after the fact. So if we're playing on a bed, I will move them so their head is laying on my chest, and I will just give them a full body hug. I'll wrap my legs around them. Full body hug, rocking cuddling, water, blankets, soothing tones of voice, maybe some nice music. There's going to be a coming back down to earth process, and you shouldn't rush that.

Annette Benedetti [00:45:25]:

I guess that's a question. It's how do you know when it's done?

Miss Chris [00:45:28]:

The way that I usually know it's done is my bottoms start to squirm, not from pain, but from discomfort, like they've been in the position too long. And that's my cue usually to start wrapping things up, is if they start to squirm a little bit or move around or sigh.

Annette Benedetti [00:45:46]:

All right. And then there's the slow coming down. Yes. And I assume that some subs will kind of know what they want afterwards.

Miss Chris [00:45:57]:

Absolutely. Some subs will know exactly what they need and what they want, and they'll tell you other subs have no clue what they need or want, and you just provide contact. I have never had somebody push away from me after spanking. Like, they don't want to be touched. Usually they just crave the touch. More touch, the better.

Annette Benedetti [00:46:21]:

Well, there you go. From beginning to end. If you've been wanting to try spanking in your personal life, this gives you sort of a starting point. Now, what would you recommend for someone who gives it a little try tonight? And it's like, that was fun. And they're like, I want to move further into this. Do you have any recommendations for them?

Miss Chris [00:46:43]:

Yeah, sure. Education. Education. If you can take a class, if you can get involved in person, go to a munch, get out in the public, meet some people. It's very tempting to do all this stuff online, but you're not going to meet people people until you start to get out and about. So let's say you really like the spanking thing tonight. Tomorrow morning, start to do some research, parties in the area, professionals in the area, ways to get education. FetLife is a decent social networking site for Bdsmrs. There's a lot of problems on FetLife. However, I use FetLife primarily to find events, and it's good for that. It's good for finding events. So I would definitely recommend education. Find some books, get some books. There are a lot of great domestic discipline books or spanking books. Corporal punishment books. Yeah, absolutely.

Annette Benedetti [00:47:55]:

Okay. I was focusing on the play and the fun and integrating it into your sexy life. But if you're someone who is looking for spank therapy, the therapeutic approach, you're not looking to do it with your partner, you're looking for a professional to do spank therapy, what would you suggest to that person?

Miss Chris [00:48:20]:

There are a couple of sites that I know of that have professional disciplinarians listed. I'm not sure the Kaniac site is still up, but if the Kaniac site is still up, they've got a disciplinarian's area based on state. So you go to your state and you find out if there's anybody there. All things spanking run by Mitch, that's another place that he posts disciplinarians and he posts schedules of disciplinary, like travel schedules. So you might want to take a look there. Again, FetLife, if you join groups like professional Disciplinarians and Those Who Love Them, which is the name of a group that I'm in, you will definitely see postings from other professional disciplinarians. Most professional disciplinarians do have a website, so you can go find out more about them through their websites.

Annette Benedetti [00:49:16]:

Well, let's talk about you and how people can find you, what they can find you for, all of that stuff.

Miss Chris [00:49:22]:

Okay, so my main method of communication is my website. It's Misscriss.com. There's an extra S in there in between Miss and Chris. And I always say the extra S is for spanking, of course. So it's misschris.com. I'm also on Twitter. I'm very active on Twitter. I'm more active on Twitter than my website. You can find me at Dominix on Twitter, and of course, on FetLife, you can find me as Ms, Chris, all.

Annette Benedetti [00:49:55]:

One word, and I will post all of those links if you scroll down in the description, of course.

Miss Chris [00:50:02]:

I'm getting ready to throw a spanking party here in the Phoenix metro area. So if anybody is within the Phoenix metro area or want to visit here, on June 3, I'll be throwing a nice open spanking party here, and on June 1, I'll be actually running a new member orientation presentation on the spanking scene. So if you want to learn more about the spanking scene, you might check out my new member orientation.

Annette Benedetti [00:50:29]:

Yeah, go check her out. Check her website out. Also, when I looked up spank therapy, you showed up at the top of the search. FYI, she is not hard to find. This was such an informative conversation. I learned so much from it. Now I'm really going to be taking the takeaways into my own life. And you guys, of course, know that I'll talk about that on my subscriber only triple X content that I put out every Thursday once I get to give it a good try. Also, please stay tuned because as soon as we get off this podcast, I'm going to be scheduling Miss Chris come back for a conversation on Age Play. If you've heard of Daddy or Mommy, DOMS and little girls, little boys, little people, littles and you're kind of like, what's that all about? Or maybe one time you were banging your person and you're like, hey, Daddy or Mommy, which I may or may not have experience with, and then you kind of freak out about it and like, what does that mean to me? What does that mean to them? We get to talk about it and learn about it and hopefully take away some of that fear and some of the weird stuff around it. I have a feeling that you are going to break that down for my listeners. So stay tuned. That's going to be in the upcoming weeks and I'm already excited about that. So thank you so much for joining me.

Miss Chris [00:52:03]:

This was great. Thank you so much for having me. I love talking about spanking, and I hope I brought some spanking joy to your audience.

Annette Benedetti [00:52:13]:

Definitely. And so, listeners, until next time, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.