Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here . Nothing's off limits . These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats , our most trusted friends and , of course , the women's locker room . Think , raw , honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy . If you've been here from the beginning , thank you , and if you're new , welcome to my podcast . Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power . Now let's talk about sex Cheers . Today's Talk , sex with Annette .
Speaker 1Topic is fisting how to do it right , why it's incredible and what most people get wrong . Let's talk about the sex act that gets treated like a joke in porn , a punchline in the group chat and a hell no in the average bedroom . Fisting and to be clear , this episode is all about vaginal fisting . Anal fisting is a whole different topic with very different prep , safety steps and anatomy . That's not today . If the word fisting makes your body tighten or your brain spiral into porn scenes and impossible positions breathe . That's not what we're doing here . Fisting , when done right , is not about pain or shock . It's about surrender , trust . Render trust , deep , slow sensation and , yes , mind-blowing , full-body pleasure . This episode is your real-world guide to vaginal fisting what it is , why it works and the science behind the pleasure . What myths we need to burn and how to do it right , step by step , and , of course , finally , how to bring someone all the way to orgasm , then care for them after . Listen , your fisting tutorial does not end there .
Speaker 1In my next episode , I am joined by a queer kink , affirming sex therapist , who works with women and couples exploring fisting for healing , release and pleasure . It's a full Fisting 101 expert edition . But for now , you've got me . So I want to remind you that you can find me over on OnlyFans , where I am sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos and demonstrations . Yes , there may eventually even be one on fisting . I'm also sharing my audio-guided self-pleasure meditations and so much more . All of this is designed to help you start experiencing deeper , more fulfilling pleasure with yourself or someone else . You can find me there with my handle at TalkSexForTheNight . You can also scroll down to the notes below this episode , and I'm going to give you links to find me wherever well , wherever you want to , but for now , let's dive in to fisting Cheers .
Speaker 1So here's why fisting isn't always what you think it is . Fisting doesn't always mean a full fist . In fact , for many people , it never does . It can mean a partially closed hand using the duckbill shape with the first or second knuckles inserted , and for some that's already more internal stimulation than they've ever experienced before . And it can be incredible .
Speaker 1Fisting isn't about force . It's about slow , intentional stretch . It's about being fully present with someone's body as they open up from the inside out . It's about rhythm , consistency , trust and for many women it's the only kind of penetration that gives them the kind of orgasm they've been craving
but couldn't explain . And here's the science . One study in the Journal of Sex Research found that deep internal pressure can create heightened emotional and physical arousal , especially when it bypasses the fast friction-based movements and shifts into slow , full hand touch . Neurologically , this kind of stimulation activates the parasympathetic nervous system responsible for safety , calm and release , which is why fisting isn't just physically intense , it's emotionally intimate .
Speaker 1Here are some common myths about fisting . Let's burn them one by one . The first one is that only kinky people fist . Not true . Plenty of people who don't identify as kinky explore fisting . For them , it's about depth , slowness , surrender or intensity , not dominance or edge play . Number two it has to be a full fist or it doesn't count . Nope , many people reach intense pleasure long before that . Fisting is about depth and expansion , not about a number of knuckles . Number three is one of the most frustrating myths about fisting .
Speaker 1Fisting makes you loose . That is some patriarchal garbage we are throwing out today . The vagina is incredibly elastic . It's designed to stretch and rebound With arousal and care . It expands , afterwards it contracts . The vagina is a giant muscle and , like any other , it can be stretched and then it returns to its original shape . When an athlete stretches their calf muscle , it doesn't stay stretched long , it contracts back to its original shape and functions even better . A woman who enjoys fisting is not ruined , she's just capable . This is not about broken bodies . This is about expansive pleasure .
Speaker 1The next myth is it's rare , freaky or not something real . People do this one's important . Fisting is way more common than people think , but you don't hear about it because it's wrapped in shame . Many women try it , many women love it , but most never talk about it . They're afraid of being judged , called loose , called extreme . So it stays hidden and that silence keeps other women from exploring it too . So let's consider this episode a public unshaming . Now that you know what fisting is , we've dispelled some of the myths . We've talked about the science behind it .
Speaker 1Let's jump into our how-to Step one prep like a pro you are going to need to wash your hands , trim and file your nails . No excuses , have those hands in really good shape . If you have calluses , I'm going to have you buff those off . We want a nice smooth hand that's not going to create any scratching or tearing upon entry and or exit . Lube is a non-negotiable Use . A ton Silicone-based is best for longevity . And finally , check in . Make sure you are both an enthusiastic yes and in a good headspace . There is no rushing this .
Speaker 1Step two start with a yoni massage .
Foreplay is a must here and I highly recommend the yoni massage Also . I have already done a video on that . I'm going to tag it below if you want a step-by-step how-to for a yoni massage that will have her begging for your fist . This phase is he . It sets the tone for everything that comes next .
Speaker 1So step three we're going to begin internal play First . Start with adding one and then two fingers and gently exploring . Feel how her body reacts to you , both inside and out . You may feel the G-spot start to swell with pleasure . You may feel her begin to get wetter . You may also start to feel some expansion start to happen , a widening of the vaginal canal . The next thing you can do is start to stimulate the G-spot . You can use the come hither motion . I'm not a big fan of how it's been taught in the past . I like to tell people to use more of a tapping motion . You're tapping against that G-spot and saying hello and asking if it wants more , and then , as she starts to get more excited , you can lengthen your strokes and begin to stimulate the A-spot which is deeper inside of her . Breathe with her through this process , read her cues . Only move forward if she's fully aroused and relaxed .
Speaker 1As her body expands , you can add fingers slowly , three , then four , using the duckbill shape , fingers together , thumb tucked in . You are going to ask for permission every step of the way . Ask her yes and no questions . Does this feel good ? Would you like more ? Would you like deeper ? Does this feel good ? Would you like more ? Would you like deeper ? Step four is adding external stimulation . This is only going to make it feel better . You don't have to rely on internal pressure alone While you're inside . Try rubbing her external clit with your thumb or free hand . You can add oral stimulation during the buildup . A vibrator over her clit or pubic mound can add rhythm to the whole experience . Let her guide the movement by grinding into your hand . Combining external with internal stimulation often leads to stronger orgasms and emotional release .
Speaker 1Step five is full entry . Once you've built up to four fingers , pause , let her feel the stretch . This is a great opportunity to encourage her , especially if she's a little bit on the praise kink side . You can throw out a good girl . You can ask her to open for you and praise her as her body begins to bloom on the inside . That adds just this extra sexy touch that is going to make her feel more connected with you and feel like you are gaining pleasure from the whole experience too .
Speaker 1If she gives the green light , rotate your wrist slightly , use a slow , curved motion to slide in . Follow the shape of her body , not your idea of what should happen . So you're going to move with the shape of her body and as her body is opening , you're going to feel where space is opening up that you can move into Again . You're going to do this slowly , with care , and make sure that there's no catching or pulling that is going to cause pain or damage to her body . The key here is steady , sustained pressure , not thrusting .
Speaker 1So step six is what do you do once you are inside . You are going to keep your hand relaxed , your energy grounded . You can try pulsing gently . You can rock the base of your palm into her G spot . You can hold still and let her move against you . Continue talking to her . Ask her what she wants .
Speaker 1Some women not all will enjoy more of a thrusting motion . But don't go straight to thrusting without asking her first . Usually what happens is she'll start pushing against you , thrusting against you . That's your cue to start moving into her in more of a thrusting type of motion . Once you are fully involved in the experience , cue into her . You can continue talking to her . Or perhaps she needs your silence and stillness so that her body can open and receive you . This is not the time for you to check out in any way . This is where the deep connection takes place . This is not the time for you to check out in any way . This is where the deep connection takes place . This is where the surrender happens . This is where you give her the gift of an experience that she will not forget anytime soon .
Speaker 1The next step is what to do when she orgasms . This is incredibly important . When she starts shaking , moaning , crying or going quiet , that's your cue to stay steady . Keep the pressure consistent . Hold her body with your free arm . Don't change anything unless she tells you to . You can also whisper something grounding Say I got you . Just ride it out Again . Reaffirm Good girl , if she likes a good girl . This is a really wonderful time to say it in a low , steady , grounding , reverent voice . Pro tip ,
your arm and your wrist might get really tired . You may need to support it with your other arm . Sometimes you can use your body as a prop or to help you continue thrusting if your arm is getting tired , but this is the moment for you to put your full self into it . You are running a marathon and you are almost to that glorious finish line .
Speaker 1The final step is how to pull out Once she's orgasmed . You are not done . This step is crucial . Do not pull out fast . That can cause a lot of pain , especially if her body is still clenched down on you . Instead , you can curl your fingers slightly , slowly rotate your hand on exit . Let her body guide you back out gently . Her body will help you . You will feel it pushing you out . Pro tip , the exit can feel as intimate as the entry . So stay present , stay with her and enjoy what you have accomplished . Finally , aftercare this is not a step to be bypassed .
Speaker 1Fisting can be intense , emotionally and physically , for both of you . Trust me , if you are on the giving end , this is an incredible experience . You will experience a high dom space , if you will , of your own , once your hand is out . Something I love to do that I think is really sweet and helpful , is to just place my palm over the vulva and allow the nerves to settle . Of course , ask her , make sure this is something that she wants . You should know in advance what is going to feel good to her . If you are unsure , perhaps hold her , help her nervous system settle , come back to center . She might want to be embraced . She might want you to give her space and go get her water , something to drink , maybe something to eat . She may just want to sit there and breathe together .
Speaker 1But after fisting , I highly suggest some communication , a debriefing , if you will Talk about what it felt like for her , what it felt like for you , what did she like , what would she like to do differently in the future , what felt really really good and what maybe didn't hit the right spot . This will make your next experience even better and bring you closer together . It's the moment where you can really bond and feel how incredible the experience truly was . Most importantly , honor what happened , don't minimize it . So if you've been curious about fisting or maybe afraid of it , I hope this helped you see the potential for what it really is Not a kink badge , not a porn stunt , but a deep , intentional , vulnerable , pleasurable way to connect with somebody's body . When done right , fisting can be healing . It can unlock orgasms that no other act has . It can bring you so much closer to the person you're holding . In the next episode , I'm bringing in a sex therapist who's going to talk about the emotional , therapeutic and relational side of fisting . You're not going to want to miss it , so make sure you're subscribed and that you tune
in on Wednesday or if you're watching this in the future .
Speaker 1After both episodes have dropped , you can scroll down to the notes section of this episode and you're going to find a link to that episode as well . If you have questions or comments about fisting or anything I've said in this episode , please feel free to send me your questions . You can drop them in the comments section below the video on YouTube . If you're one of my listeners , you can head over to my YouTube channel at TalkSexWithAnette and drop a comment below the video , or you can email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnettecom . You can also scroll down to the speak pipe link below and send me a voice message . And if you are looking for a cheerleader or a wing woman , if you will , on your own pleasure journey , my sex and intimacy coaching books are open and I would love to work with you . You can find out more about that on my website , talksexwithanettecom . I hope you enjoyed this tutorial , that your next or first fisting experience is incredible . So until next time I'll see y'all in the locker room . Cheers .