Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here . Nothing's off limits . These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats , our most trusted friends and , of course , the women's locker room . Think raw , honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy . If you've been here from the beginning , thank you , and if you're new , welcome to my podcast . Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power . Now let's talk about sex Cheers .
Speaker 1Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is yes , you can spank her like that , and here's how to make it hot , not awkward . Let's get something straight . Spanking is not just foreplay Not awkward , let's get something straight . Spanking is not just foreplay Done right . It's one of the most intimate , arousing and emotionally complex kinds of play you can bring into the bedroom . And the numbers don't lie . A 2020 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that over 70% of women have fantasized about spanking or being spanked In fact , fantasized about spanking or being spanked . In fact , spanking is one of the top five most searched kinks online , but one of the least understood . Why ? Because most people aren't doing it right . They're either too hesitant and awkward or
too hard and disconnected , like they're trying to swat a fly off her ass instead of seducing her with sensation . But by the end of this episode you'll know exactly how to spank her in a way that turns her on , builds trust and makes her ask for more . No paddles , no shame , no kink experience required , just you , your hand and some very sexy know-how . But before we dive in , I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and there I am sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos demonstrations and audio guided self-pleasure meditations all designed to help you start experiencing more pleasure and having better sex . Tonight you can find me there with my handle at TalkSexWithAnette . You can also find me over on Substack , where I'm doing a whole lot of the same , and you can find me there with my handle at TalkSexWithAnette as well . In fact , you may just find some spanking tutorials there that you aren't going to want to miss . But for now , let's dive in . Let's get ready to talk about spanking Cheers .
Speaker 1So here's why spanking turns her on , even if she's never asked for it . Let's start with the science . Spanking stimulates two major systems in her body at the same time the somatosensory system , responsible for touch , pressure and sensation , and the endorphin plus adrenaline response triggered by intense rhythmic stimulation . The slight sting of spanking causes a mild stress response . Her brain starts to release adrenaline , but when it's paired with safety connection and arousal , that stress flips into pleasure and her body responds with increased blood flow to the genitals , endorphin and dopamine release and a rush of physical and psychological arousal . And here's the wild part A 2013 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that people who engage in consensual BDSM , including spanking , have lower cortisol levels and more secure attachment traits than those who don't . This isn't about trauma or dysfunction . It's about creating erotic intensity within a framework of trust .
Speaker 1We are going to start your spanking journey with just the hand , and here's why I know what you're thinking . What about floggers , paddles , bells ? We're getting there , but today
we're starting with your hand . Why ? Because your hand is the most intuitive tool you have , sensory rich . You feel how her body responds in real time and connected to your dominance . The moment becomes personal . Shows that touch involving direct skin-to-skin contact versus tools is more emotionally bonding and more arousing in early stage kink exploration , and for her , your hand carries energy , power , heat . That's what she wants to feel .
Speaker 1Let's get into the spanking warm-up Touch . Before you strike , before your hand ever lands on her ass , you have to build the moment . Start with a slow caress . Let your palm rest on one cheek , squeeze gently , let her feel your presence , your intention . Run your hand over her ass in wide , confident strokes . Add pressure , then grip , then pause . Make it sensual before it's spicy . Then say something like you know what I want to do to you right now , or your ass looks too good not to touch . Let her feel how much you want to spank her before you ever do it . That anticipation , before you ever do it , that anticipation , it's half of the arousal . Then go in for a light , teasing smack not a strike , just a signal , a hello and watch her body .
Speaker 1Let's start by breaking down these three beginner-friendly spanking positions and the psychology behind each . Number one is over the lap or over the knee spanking she's face down across your lap , legs dangling off to the side . This position is great for intimacy , control and whisper direction . It creates vulnerability in a safe , held position and the psychological impact . It's deeply connected to parental power but re-eroticized through consent and adult context . The second spanking position is bent over
the bed spanking she's standing chest against the bed or couch , ass arched towards you . This position is perfect for spanking during foreplay or mid session . You can reach around for a clip play or penetration after . The psychological impact positions you above her and triggers erotic submission . The third spanking position is face down , ass up , pillow under the hips if you're being polite . She's laying on her stomach , hips elevated . It's great for deeper impact , play and aftercare . It feels passive but totally receptive . The psychological impact combines helplessness and anticipation , without restraining her .
Speaker 1Okay , now we've got our positions down , let's focus on one of the most important techniques where to spank and chow to do it right . This is where so many people go wrong . Spanking is all about placement and technique . So here's where to aim . Go for the fleshy lower part of the butt cheeks , where there's more cushion and fewer bones . Avoid the tailbone , lower back and hip bones . You want to hit the sweet spot that just jiggles when she walks .
Speaker 1Here's how to strike . Keep your fingers together , your palm relaxed but firm . Hit with the meaty part of your palm , not your fingertips . Think of it like drumming . Let your hand bounce off her skin , don't slap through her and don't overextend . Here's an advanced tip . Aim
a little to the side of center so each cheek gets its own attention . After each smack , let your hand linger , rub the heat into her skin and show her that you're watching how her body responds .
Speaker 1Here is a spanking must . Read her response in real time with a green , yellow , red method . Consent is non-negotiable in any kind of impact play . Not all spanking feels good all of the time . That's why you need to read her like a sex coach . Use the green , yellow , red framework borrowed from trauma-informed kink spaces . Now , please note , you should talk about safe words in advance and you can use green , yellow and red as your safe word directions during the spanking experience . But this is a great way for the spanker to actually see and read green , yellow and red in their partner's body responses body responses .
Speaker 1As the person who is spanking , it is your job to stay absolutely in tune with your partner as you spank them . So green is yes , I want more . Again . They can verbalize this . However . She will show you in her body when she arches her back , moans , pushes into your hand . Yellow , which means it's almost too much . I may need you to slow down or stop . Will show in her body when she stiffens , winces or stops breathing . This is your cue to slow down and to check in . And red means stop . This doesn't feel good , this is too much . She will pull away . She may say no or red , or she may look scared . So stop immediately , no questions asked . When you see any of these signs in her body and look , you can check in without breaking the mood . Say things to her like do you want more ? Can you take more ? Is it too much Harder , softer , do you need me to stop ? Make consent part of the seduction ? Consent is sexy . All right , here's the good part .
Speaker 1Let's talk spanking rhythm versus impact and why her brain craves the build . Rhythm isn't just for music , it's for arousal . When you spank her in a steady , escalating rhythm , you're mimicking something her body already understands the cycle of sexual tension and release . Teasing strokes equal anticipation . Increasing pressure equals rising arousal . Sudden sting plus praise equals climax energy . This is neurosomatic play . You're training her body to associate spanking with dopamine release and erotic pleasure . That's why it works . So mix it up Spank , rub , spank , pause
or tap , tap , smack or hold the cheek and then let it go . Give it a good grip and release . Keep her guessing that edge of the erotic unknown is erotic gold .
Speaker 1Here's why women crave spanking in the bedroom . And no , it's not daddy issues . Let's kill that myth right now . Women don't want to be spanked because they're broken . They want to be spanked because they're safe enough to surrender . Power exchange play allows her to let go of control , drop into her body and feel taken , claimed , devoured in a way that's consensual , conscious and hot as fuck . A safe , well-timed spanking can give her permission to get wild . It's not trauma , reenactment , it's freedom . So tonight , don't just grab her ass , command it , warm it up , read her body , strike
with intention and speak to her like she's the most fuckable masterpiece you've ever seen . Spanking isn't awkward when it's earned and when it's done right . She'll flinch every time she sits down tomorrow and smile thinking about you and speaking of you .
Speaker 1If you are on your own intimacy , pleasure or sexual journey and you would like a wing woman , a sidekick , a cheerleader , a coach , if you will , my sex and intimacy coaching books are open and I'd love to work with you .
Speaker 1You can find out more about that by going to my website , which is TalkSexWithAnnettecom . You can reach out to me personally at Ann , which is TalkSexWithAnettecom . You can reach out to me personally at Annette at TalkSexWithAnettecom . I would love to help you experience more pleasure and intimacy in your life , starting tonight , and if you have any questions about this how-to tutorial on spanking , please feel free to reach out to me Now if you are a listener . You can go over to my YouTube channel , which is at TalkSexWithAnnette , and you can drop a comment below the video and I will get back to you as soon as possible .
Speaker 1You can also email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom , or scroll down to the notes in this episode and you're going to find a link to my speak pipe and you can leave me a message there . So I would love to hear from you and I'd love to help you on your own spanking journey , if you are either wanting to spank or you've got a partner who's been asking you to spank them . And until next time , folks , I'll see you in the locker room . Cheers .