Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here . Nothing's off limits . These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats , our most trusted friends and , of course , the women's locker room . Think raw , honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy . If you've been here from the beginning , thank you , and if you're new , welcome to my podcast . Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power . Now let's talk about sex Cheers .
Speaker 1Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is how to plan a threesome without making it weird or wrecking your relationship . Weird or wrecking your relationship . Did you know that some research suggests that threesomes can potentially enhance intimacy and communication within a relationship , but only if they are approached with careful consideration and preparation . Let's be real . The idea of a threesome it's hot , it's taboo and if you're watching this , it's probably crossed your mind more than once . But here's the part no one talks about . Planning a threesome is way sexier in theory than in practice , unless you actually know what you're doing . Because if you don't , you're not just risking one awkward night
, you're gambling with trust , jealousy and emotional fallout that can wreck your relationship jealousy and emotional fallout that can wreck your relationship . So in this episode , I'm walking you through exactly how to plan a threesome without turning it into a disaster or a therapist's full-time job . We're talking green flags , red flags and good reasons to have threesomes , terrible ones , and how to pick a third who's more than just a warm body and can make it incredible instead of tearing your relationship apart . But before we dive in , I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and there I'm sharing my intimacy , how-tos and audio-guided self-pleasure meditations all designed to help you start having better intimacy tonight , and you can find me in both places by my handle at TalkSexWithAnette . Of course , you can scroll down to the notes in this section and you're going to find links everywhere you want to find me below . But for now , let's dive in and talk about how to plan your dream threesome Cheers .
Speaker 1Let's start here Fantasy versus reality . 95% of men and 87% of women reported having fantasies about intimacy with multiple partners and , according to some polls , as many as 24% of men and 8% of women had already had threesomes and that's being conservative . So know that you're definitely not alone . But fantasizing about a threesome and actually navigating one in the real world , well , there are two different planets . In fantasy , no one catches feelings , no one gets jealous , and everyone comes at the same time . In reality , the moment your partner makes more eye contact with a third than you , you're spiraling . Or worse , you're realizing halfway through that no one actually asked the third what they wanted . So if you want to avoid awkward silence , the next day regrets or the classic we thought it'd bring us closer breakup , keep listening . Here's a bonus stat A 2020 study in the archives of sexual behavior found that while most people who had threesomes reported them as positive experiences , those who skipped the clear boundaries and the emotional prep were far more likely to regret it . So let's make sure that doesn't happen to you .
Speaker 1Let's move on to why are you doing this ? The good reasons versus the bad reasons . Let's get brutally honest . Your reason for wanting a threesome matters . Here are some good reasons . One you're both curious and craving shared adventures . Two , you've talked about it for a while and you want to explore something new together . Three , you're both secure in your relationship and know how to communicate about jealousy , boundaries and emotions . So now let's talk about the bad reasons . One you think it will fix your sex life . This might be the worst reason of all . This is a hard no , don't do it . Two , one of you is trying to keep the other one from cheating . Three you haven't actually talked
about what happens if someone gets triggered , left out or unexpectedly emotional . If the threesome is a last-ditch band-aid or one partner is pushing the other who feels pressured pause , you're not ready yet , and that's not judgment , that's just protection .
Speaker 1Okay , let's move on to red flags and green flags for finding a third . You've decided you're ready . How do you avoid picking the worst possible person for the experience ? This is key . Here are some red flags they only want to play with one of you and are ignoring the other . Two they're flaky , drunk or looking for drama . Three they've never heard the word boundary and they say things like I'm just down for whatever . Four , they're a friend who one of you secretly has unresolved feelings , for this is not a movie , don't do it .
Speaker 1Here are some green flags in a third . One , they ask what you want , what your boundaries are and if there's anything they should know to
help you feel safe . Two they're experienced or at least educated . Three they're attracted to both of you and interested in connecting with your dynamic , not just getting off . They prioritize communication and consent period . That is incredibly important . A study from Sexuality and Cultural Journal found that couples who report high satisfaction after threesomes had one thing in common . Thirds , who respected the couple's dynamic and honored all discussions and boundaries . And for something more surprising , there's growing research around a type of attraction called symbiosexuality , where someone is turned on by the couple dynamic itself . These people aren't trying to join or disrupt . They're drawn to your shared energy . If you want a little shortcut , finding the ideal , third , apps like Field and Open are built for ethical non-monogamy and can make it easier to find like-minded folks .
Speaker 1And if you meet someone at a party or a play event , don't skip the post-flirt debrief . Just because you can doesn't mean you should . Speaking of debriefs , let's talk about boundaries , rules and the debrief that saves relationships . Before anything happens , you need to sit down and have a talk , and I don't mean the awkward . Here's what to cover what's on the menu and what's off limits . Is kissing okay ? Is penetration who touches who ? What happens if one of you wants to stop mid-scene ? So pro tip always have a safe word , even in non-kink situations . Additional things to discuss while you stay the night together , while the third leave afterward ? Yes , this matters . How will you reconnect afterward ?
Speaker 1Some couples plan a
private moment after to debrief emotionally and physically . It can help prevent what just happened . Whiplash and don't skip the next day check-in . You might think you're fine in the moment , only to realize later that something didn't sit right . And that's not failure , that's just feedback . If you're still with me , that means you're not just curious , you're thoughtful , intentional and maybe even ready to do this right away .
Speaker 1But here's the thing Planning is just the beginning . Planning is just the beginning . What happens during the threesome is a whole other conversation , because that's when the real emotions , unexpected turns and hot as hell surprises show up . So if you want me to break down exactly how to execute a threesome without wrecking your relationship or feeling like a deer caught in the headlights , drop the word or number three in the comments or DM me three and I will create another video to walk you through what to do once you are in the sack with your third . And if you've had a threesome and you think I've missed something or you want to share how it went the good , the bad , the completely crazy I'm here for it . Drop your comment below . If you are watching or listening to this on YouTube , if you're my audio listener , you can always head over to YouTube or you can scroll down to the notes section below .
Speaker 1Send me a speak pipe or send me an email at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom . If you are a couple and you are wanting to plan a threesome and you want someone to help you , you want , let's say , a woman , a cheerleader or a guide . My intimacy coaching books are open . Feel free to email me to net at talksexwithanettecom . I would be thrilled
to help you . You can also find out more about my coaching at talksexwithanettecom . Head on over there . Find out all about what I have to offer you as a coach . So until next time , folks , I'll see you in the locker room . Cheers .