Matching your adoption in less than a month sounds too good to be true, and it very rarely happens. However, when it does, we should learn from those that did it. Matt and Kinsey had been waiting to adopt a baby with an adoption agency for three years and then decided to start self-matching their adoption, and once they started sharing their profile, they matched twice in less than a month!
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Matching your adoption in less than a month sounds too good to be true, and it very rarely happens. However, when it does, we should learn from those that did it. Matt and Kinsey had been waiting to adopt a baby with an adoption agency for three years and then decided to start self-matching their adoption, and once they started sharing their profile, they matched twice in less than a month!
Free Training/Work With Me:
Join The Adoption Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/myadoptioncoach
Determine What Type Of Adoption Is Right For You: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/pathway
Learn To Adopt: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/program
Create/Share Your Adoption Profile: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/profiletraining
can you imagine getting a phone call in the morning that your baby has been born and it is time to go to the hospital and you weren't even expecting a match that's exactly the story of Matt and Kenzie and they're going to share it with us today join me in welcoming Matt and Kenzie to the show Kenzie and Matt thank you so much for being willing to join us tonight we're really appreciative of your time yeah we're happy to be here any way we can awesome well I'd love if you would take just a minute to share a little bit about yourselves with the audience so they can get to know you as we get to understand your adoption Journey a little bit more um well my name is Kenzie I am a home health physical therapist assistant and a full-time photographer and I'm I'm Matt I am a high school science teacher and I do other other things in school but yeah I'm I'm a high school science teacher that's awesome and I know we met each other kind of a year-ish ago I forget now how long it's been I think it was about a year ago yeah was it well um and I know that we met through actually lacris Bundy she had I think shared my contact information with you and I think the world of lacris I think she's amazing you know what she does but I'd love for you to share just a little bit about kind of your background and in the adoption Journey all right so kind of where were you when you met La crease and then really kind of how everything kind of transpired to ultimately bringing home your baby girl all right um so we started the process in 2020 um we went through and did our home study we actually spoke to lucrece like prior to even us getting married uh prior to even like starting the process and we kind of knew what we needed but we didn't know like agency wise how that worked and and things like that so we knew like first and foremost we had to get a home study and once we had that we kind of had a couple different like thought processes of agency-wise who we wanted to use and we chose one um you know paid paid the fee it was a small fee um it turned out actually to be a scam which is awful um yeah I know and uh and then later we found another one it took you know tons of phone calls um and we found one based out of Colorado and we were very comfortable with them they kept up to date like paperwork stuff they were constantly sending us emails when it came to like when certain things were due um paperwork wise on both of us but when it came to their you know availability of birth moms um you know versus how many families were on the waiting list it was it was quite a bit um they would get a mom you know in their agency once maybe every six months if that um so we weren't getting a ton of like emails or calls or anything like that so we never got to experience having being chosen or or any of those things with the agency side and so we had been with them for about two years and you know Matt can agree we kind of were like all right we've we've hit this like roadblock like what what is our what is our next step and I had gotten an email from lucrece because she had started doing kind of like group emails and she's you know had us join a um just like a Facebook group uh and talking about adoption and her adoption program that she has to kind of help you go through those stages of trying to either match by yourself learning if like hiring a consultant or and that's how we got your name is that lucrece brought us in in that road and Avenue um oh she lost my train of thought but um so that was kind of you know it took a couple of years but we finally kind of figured that we wanted to try to self-match [Music] um and then you know that brought us to you um and that you know was it was a it was a great experience it actually we got to kind of relive some of the cool things about our our lives and our family and um find all the pictures and we had it we had a good time actually writing all of the things that you needed everything to create your profile it is some work creating a profile it is um but I do I'd love to hear that you thought that that was a fun experience because it is about you know just telling the story of your family and yeah what you guys love to do and and you being a photographer you had some amazing yeah I had lots of options yeah it was really awesome so we create you and I work together to create your profile and so since you were kind of considering self-matching or moving into self-matching at that stage and then you started sharing your profile so what happened once you started sharing your profile um we actually like maybe a week after kind of you gave us all the paperwork we started that process of like posting on the Facebook groups within a week I feel like I had gotten a text message from a potential birth mom um we actually spoke to her for a couple of weeks um and you know it it took some I don't know what's how do we want to put this so it just didn't feel right it didn't it didn't yeah it didn't click yeah but but like and that's I feel like that's part of the process is that like you're gonna have those situations where like you know what like and what she was in Indiana Indiana yeah yeah so like you know we're we were like 10 hours away 11 hours away like so and like just it didn't click it it didn't feel right for us and um and so we we sort of like that that context sort of drifted but it was one of those deals where like we were actually having a conversation of a conversation and it's you know when you go through an agency they handle some of that and even it I guess yeah you don't have to worry about it clicking with an agency um but that being said like we had we had nothing for our agency at least like it was sort of like okay now we're actually having conversations with these birth moms who who want to get their babies up for adoption or learn more about us so like that was that was kind of uh I I don't know it was it was hard because it didn't quite work out but at least it was it was moving in the right direction that's right yeah progress in so long so it's a very positive thing for us yeah even though it was it was negative on the birth mother's side yeah it it made us feel better that it's like okay it's not us that's the roadblock there's other things yeah um that are having seen yeah and honestly finding out that early into a connection that it's just really not a good fit for both parties is the best thing ever right because the last thing you want to have happen is you get all the way to hospital time right or even thereafter and either parties start having doubts of you know is this really the right fit am I equipped to parent this child can I you know keep up my commitments to this birth parent that I've you know committed to for for life right so as hard as it does feel it is because listen I've lived the other way where the birth parent has changed their mind right and it's it's awful it's gut-wrenching but when I look back on it it's a blessing in disguise right because it was leading me to my children to Bible you know that I have now right um so so you connected with her and then how what happened from there so we had stopped communication with her and basically you know I started the process of like reposting things um I had you know you know set up on our Facebook and our Instagram kind of the the automatic post that you had set up real real neat by the way I like that and um so I was having those you know go on quite a bit um and so a lot of our friends and family were were seeing us constantly post um and I'm gonna start crying too um it was uh the morning of November 9th of last year okay to get through it no crab crying that's for sure oh my gosh oh my gosh um one of my friends who's an occupational therapist who they had adopted two years prior um they have a baby girl but they did it on the agency side so they you know they matched pretty quickly in their process they only waited about six months total and so she knew that we were you know changing our Avenues not necessarily going through the agency and um she called us that morning probably about five a.m and said my sister helped deliver a baby the mom you know isn't in it didn't did not want to parent and um they were wondering you know about if anyone was available to adopt and they initially reached out to the uh like my occupational therapist friend um thinking that she would be able to adopt the baby but she goes no we've you know our paperwork isn't up to date but I know someone yeah and so she gave the birth mother's mother so our daughter's grandma yeah um our information and she called us and that's you know and then we like the baby was already born um and so we you know made the process of of going to the hospital and and everything and it uh it was a wild ride that day it was it was a wild Wednesday morning Wednesday ready to go to work and it's like oh hey well I should probably call in I guess yeah yeah our whole world it was it was changed yeah yeah and and it was yeah it was it was definitely something else yeah so and we were actually you know on on the flip side uh because it in the same area increase actually um got to help on the other end yeah so yeah as our photographer photographer that would be that would be you we did not get to hire her as our lawyer that we initially wanted to but we were able to connect her with our birth mother and actually and that was it was it was I will say like just already having an attorney sort of like ready to go had we not um it actually would have been likely um the uh she would have gone probably into foster care and we there it's almost guaranteed we would have never seen it yeah and so having an attorney ready to go was actually kind of a huge thing because lucrece is like okay well I need to get there now um and I need to get and she did she was boom she she got to the hospital clear everything up with the hospital staff clearly like and it was so we she was then hired for to to handle the birth mother and her side of things which obviously you know she did an amazing job just kind of making sure everything went well but yeah it was it was he really supported our birth mother it was yeah she didn't feel like we were we were pressuring her because honestly we had never met them we had no connection with them whatsoever and so you know that was kind of hard because I didn't you know we really didn't know how to communicate with them um and so I think Le crease did a great job of uh of just reassuring that like I've known this couple I know that they are you know they they've done the work they are they are ready they are a strong family and so you know I think just all the connections have been really really positive for us it was very nice that's amazing and what a an amazing story um I too had a an unexpected daughter arrive in my world and it's you're right that that phone call just kind of turns everything upside down to your point of like I thought I was going to teach kids today that's that's quite fun to really kind of you know move everything around so quickly so talk to us about what that experience was like when you went to the hospital and then when you were you know allowed were you in the same state or you're in different states same state okay that was actually the other thing that was so amazing yeah we um I mean it was It was a it was a very busy day um because like we woke up at 5am um at one point we did talk to um our daughter's grandma uh and she basically we we talked for a little bit just trying to get to know each other and then she was like well why don't you come out to the hospital and meet your daughter it was like wow that yeah that was um kind of crazy and and the hospital sort of did they had procedures that they were trying to go through and figure out which was part of the um the concern that our daughter may have ended up going into foster care um instead of us being because they they you know they were small small hospitals that situation doesn't happen very often they were just trying to sort of follow the right procedures um so it was it like so we we actually luckily had friends in the area so we were able to the hospital is like listen you know they were they were just trying to follow their procedures which is right so we were able to go hang out we went to Walmart and and just I was like you know what just in case let's just go buy stuff like like we were ready to adopt but we had nothing like we weren't ready to adopt that day yeah right no preparation so it's like we were we were walking around Walmart and I'm just like throwing things in the cart I mean this is this is his first yeah so I was like I he's like all right just put it in the car and and so like you know and there was a lot of time down times there was some stressful weights but eventually like lecrae's got a hold of us um she went smoothed everything out sorry our dog is going crazy oh no underneath the coffee table that's holding up our laptop sorry but like um yeah it was it it was just a very there was like stress and a hope and fear and it was all sort of mixed together oh my gosh really excited hey yeah she the pup the puppy loves Marley by the way yeah but she's a big dog so she she has to be um [Laughter] but yeah so anyway uh it was yeah it was kind of crazy but then one look Reese called and was like okay now you can come out to the hospital and and when we got to go and oh my gosh just meeting her was the she was so little oh she was oh six pound nothing you know yeah who was she oh yeah six eight right six pounds eight ounces yeah she was she was Tiny and just but it's just from day one she was just so calm so just like peaceful so so um and we you know we we got to have her for about an hour to an hour and a half um because it was much such a small town like um hospital we got to be in another birthing Suite whereas the mom was um the birth mom was in like very like a couple doors down there was only like four or five Suites there and um you know birth grandma was coming in and kind of showing us pictures of of her family and we were trying to get to know them we still really didn't have a conversation with our birth mom um there was other like medically things going on and you know didn't feel comfortable and then you know a a short period of time they they said you know we're gonna leave the hospital and they they were like but we want to say goodbye and so they they took her back out which was totally fine you know we understood the situation but no one spoke to us for an hour and a half yeah it was so hard it was the longest hour and a half of our lives and like we didn't know what to do like the nurses were focused where they needed to be focused yeah um you know we didn't want to bug the family because it wasn't in our place to to do that and we wanted the relationship to be strong with our birth mom we didn't want to feel like she was rushed or or any of those things and and for and for us we we have an open adoption and we thought we feel that that is very important um especially as our daughter starts to get older to understand where she came from and and be able to see like like her so so for us yeah it was like we don't want to be pushy because you don't want you don't want to start that relationship like that right oh my goodness I I remember a couple of times like walking out to go get like a drink of water water just so like is it is there an emotion is there it was yeah it was uh but but you know uh at the end of that they brought her back in um we got to meet um we got to meet the birth mom finally she came in there um we got to tell her the name that we had chosen for our daughter because we'd have the name for years yeah but like we were ready with that so we were able to to like introduce her to you know her you know her birth daughter yeah and it was a good thing so we were able to kind of like hug her not necessarily have a conversation with her um you know since then we we have and we have seen her um but in that first night like we were the only family in the birth area and so we got to spend the night there at the hospital and we were the only ones there very small Hospital yeah uh so it was it was good and you know we got to got to bond with her and and so it was it was a good experience it was great it was that's amazing and I'm so thankful that La crease was able to get there and really get the paperwork going uh oftentimes you know coach people I'm like listen it's really important that you take a copy of those documents with you to the hospital because you never know like you may end up in a very rural hospital just like what you described and this may be the first time someone's ever interacted with an adoption right now that was trying to fully know what to do and yeah like they were doing their best to handle it but but like um yeah it was it was I am I am so grateful that we had already made contact with the Chris and that she was able to just like take care of it um because otherwise so maybe maybe we would but like I I mean but it was it was it was just yeah but it was it was kind of a fun experience because you know we did have to tell some like our parents because they had to I have I have birth I have children from my you know from my first marriage and so they had to get picked up from school because hey by the way um hey we're somewhere and we um we have a baby and they were like what yeah so it was kind of fun being able to like call our all our friends on FaceTime and like jealous my sister burst into tears yeah why is she calling me right now when we called her and she and she just first it was yeah it was it was so much fun to basically show off our daughter to our friends and family and and we oh and the boys just were so excited and I couldn't get over it couldn't contain and yeah so I have a picture like I screenshotted the picture when we were like FaceTiming it's like first family photo like and it's I mean it's worth saying like here in Nebraska like there is that 40 there's a 48 hour um period where birth mom can't change her mind so we didn't get like fully public until like after that but they're you know how to tell something oh yeah like and so like a lot of people knew um but we we held off on like making it making it like fully official until um until we we got there we got the official word um but it was yeah it it was just I I you know I it was a Wednesday I took the rest of the week off um luckily I work um in a district where they're very understanding understanding very family friendly in my job too and and so I will never forget those three days of just getting spend time with that little baby that little oh my gosh yeah that's amazing so from when you started sharing your profile from social media you said within a week you got kind of your first connection yeah yeah about how long after that do you think it was until your daughter was born you have a rough room so we so the we had the communication like a week after I had posted stuff we had been speaking to the birth mother from Indiana for two and a half maybe three weeks total yeah we had kind of Matt and I had a conversation like this this isn't this isn't where we need to be and we had stopped it prior and we my oldest son had a birthday um at the end of October and we were at a birthday party like I remember I just kind of remember that like the weekend before and so there was only about a week and a half between the time that we stopped our conversation to her being born yeah and that it's just weird because it's just like we had nothing for three years and it's like okay yeah it's actually kind of crazy looking at pictures uh go get it yeah sorry hold on you're fine we're making a pause yes I'll take a drink of water while we pause I almost lost it I was like biting my lip and all the things are you talking about your daughter and I was just like I'm gonna start to cry nope it was like pinching my knee underneath my desk here every time I tell like my patients about it because a lot of them like a lot of my patients know this the occupational therapist because like we work together and so you know explaining that is it like brings tears to my eyes like every time because like she and I you know have like a fabulous relationship like a work relationship and and now like we you know we started the adoption process together like we have the same social worker um for our home study and so like we were able to kind of bond in that side of things but they got matched a lot earlier than us and you know they were in a position that they were able to spend more money than what we could uh yeah like that was just never gonna be in the cards for us you know some of those agencies the the level of uh Financial commitment that is required we couldn't we couldn't match that yeah um so you know they they matched a lot quicker um and but now we have this other Bond like I you know we will we will continually be close to her and her family and what's like also really cool um she had called us about two or three months ago um and it's not weird for her to call us or anything like that but it called us and she goes Kinsey when was when was your daughter born crazy thing our daughter was born on like National adoption day yeah and then you know she we had told her like November 9th and she goes I'm due with a baby on November 9th um her and her husband were unable to conceive and so that's why they went the adoption route for their second child and out of nowhere she got pregnant and it's like super Miracle pregnancy wow and she's due like her due date is on our daughter's birthday wow so like that you know the the full circle of things like you know God put her in our lives and then rewarded her yeah with the baby so yeah it is I'm definitely gonna cry hell the full body chills went through I don't know our daughter is absolutely beautiful and perfect and and you know are the the boys have bonded so well with her and yeah it's just amazing it's been amazing yeah that's awesome so I would love for you to just close us out someone thank you for sharing everything um but I'd love for you to close us out by just sharing anything you'd like to with hopeful adoptive families that are sitting there in that spot right that have been waiting maybe a week a month three years right with their agency or in their own Journey what would you want them to to hear what you know what do you remember as you reflect on your journey that you think would be helpful for them I mean uh you know the big thing for us is that we just we didn't give up hope that we needed to put all our eggs in one basket you know being able to reach out and find other groups and having having that connection to be able to find other other having having the connection like reaching out to like Facebook groups and seeing what what's working for them and you know being able to connect with other people as well like such as yourself and and the crease uh you know really helped us feel like it's not over our journey is not over there is there are other ways to adopt it may not look like what you thought it originally was going to but you know if you can try everything you possibly can it yeah don't give up on that hope because like we had we had hit that like with our agency we had stopped that hope with that agency and with that like my husband and I were able to kind of have a conversation it's like all right what's our plan B what do we want to do and that's when we finally were able to reach out within you know with lucrece who is she kind of has this like adoption program and connects you with other people and that's how we got connected with you and you know it's it it was a really good experience to try to do things more on our own um you know another Avenue that we kind of thought about was like like the Foster to adopt but you could Foster through um like people that had already given out their um their rights like already given away their rights and so we kind of looked in that too and just kind of you know it it opened the line of communication between between Matt and I and that would have never happened if we were like nope we're just gonna stay with this agency we're never you know we're not gonna keep pushing towards our goal um you know if it feels like it's not going anywhere maybe you've gotta just try something different and yeah and you know sometimes the something different does have a price tag to it but in in the ultimate goal like you know that's it it's nothing like um yeah and I think it's like for us our communication was so important but like I have I have a friend who uh I work with last summer before before our daughter came along um and he actually adopted and it was he would he would keep telling me because he knew that we were trying to keep telling me I I don't remember before I and he's a little bit older he'd be like I don't even remember my life before I adopted her and like I kind of understood what he was saying but I didn't fully understand what he was saying but I don't remember my life before I adopted my baby like I now fully get it and I think it's important that like we waited so long and there was you know there there are Financial expectations at different points along the path um but honestly I don't remember any of that I all of that is so much in the past because when I look into her eyes when I when when she smile like when I when I pick her up from the the babysitter or you know she's been spending time with our parents and and she sees me and she looks at me and smiles at uh it's just amazing none of the stuff that came before matters yeah it's it's like yeah that's so it's it can be hard and it's it's work and it takes work it's effort yeah but the payoff is it's more than than you can imagine it's just like imagine creating a you know a whole new song family element and it's been really beautiful to be able to to to see my boys and and and you know my boys with her and and how they are just overwhelmed with happiness because they had been waiting too yeah yeah and so you know they are super happy um so you know keep the communication um open between you know you and your partner um you know what how do you want to do this and I think you know part of it is in your home study you you start that communication process but don't stop and I think part of part of what happened while we were in the agency we had stopped communicating and just only doing the paperwork side of things and once we started communicating and starting the other avenues that we did it really opened up our eyes of like what we wanted our adoption to look like how do we want to continue it going and and that really it's been really positive for Matt and I yeah so that's amazing well thank you again for being willing to to share your story with our community I know that so many people will find Value in it and I hope that they find Hope and inspiration in it just to keep hanging in there and to put themselves really in the driver's seat right you got to take consistent action you've got to be willing to do the work because in the end it absolutely is worth it but we again we appreciate you guys sharing your story thank you so much we're very thankful for you and your team worked amazing and you know we the the things that you created for us uh were absolutely beautiful and it was very well thought out of how we wanted to do things and I think that level of detail is amazing and I hope that other people I've I actually know like someone found me on Instagram um and is now using you I don't know you know I haven't seen that they've they've posted anything but they had reached out to us because we had used you and so like I was able to make that connection and it's it's really cool so thank you I appreciate that yeah it is it's a small world I as I tell everybody my hobby is helping families tell their story so they can make their family right um it's just what I love to do but it's and it's awesome when I have it's amazing when I have awesome clients like you guys you know because it just makes it much easier and it gives me hope to keep going right it's worth getting up at 3am to to work on those profiles because I get to see babies I'm going to stock your social and watch the babies grow up and for me that's quite a lot of fun yeah thank you again of course anytime I think there are a few key lessons that we can learn from Matt and Kenzie's story first of all they were not giving up they were really committed to their adoption journey and they were willing to put in the work and try different ways of sharing their profile so that they could ultimately match with their expectant parent second they followed a proven path of sharing their profile in multiple different ways with frequency and asking their friends and family to do the same that ultimately LED them to the connection point with the expectant parent that chose them to place their her daughter for adoption and third they formed a lifelong relationship with their expectant parent based in respect and trust and honoring the space that she needed during their time in the hospital which ultimately has led to a really great relationship today listen my friend I know that adoption is hard I know that it can be scary and it can be long but remember there are proven paths that you can follow and I'm here to give you all the support that you need in your adoption Journey every step of the way if you're looking for more information Around The Proven path to follow check out this video because I know it will be helpful foreign