Season: 1 Episode: 10- "Blindsided: When There is a Hitch in Your Giddy Up"
Intro Music: Royalty Free
Promo:BuzzSprout Services
Grand risings and runnings, framily, and welcome back to our Joy in the Midst of It All podcast show. I am your host - Aminah Amarachi.
In our most recent two episodes I spoke about Defining Moments. Well, sometimes our most “SELF” defined moments are redefined for us by the Divine. It’s during these redefined moments, either in the midst of them or beyond them, that we look back at them, you know hindsight is 20/20, and realize that what felt as if we’d been blindsided was actually grand opportunities in disguise that allowed us to see the Divine work unexpected wonders in our lives.
Now, let’s continue our journey…
Everyone speaks of vision boards, SMART Goals, and plans. And, it’s great to have intentions, that focus us along our journey; however, in this journey we call life, I have come to understand that God’s (Olodumare, Allah, the Creator, the Divine) has a plan much grander than the one we can see at any given moment that may feel as if we have been blindsided, yet, ultimately works our for our best good.
Today’s Episode: "Blindsided: When There is a Hitch in Your Giddy Up
The year:2009 through 2016
The date:September 2009 through January 2016
The scene:
During the summer of 2009, I was in the midst of enjoying the culmination of a major personal and spiritual milestone in my journey. It was a season of great celebration, so far, and grand intentions, from my perspective. I had intended to a) begin my holistic life coaching business, b) place closure on some legs of my journey that no longer served where I planned to journey next, and c) prepare to move back down home to support our parents in downsizing and making decisions about the next leg of their journey.
Well, low and behold, less than three months after spending one of the most joyous weekends of my life with family and friends, before moving back down home, life blindsided me (as I saw it at that time) and threw a hitch in my giddy up (plans). Simple put - Our mama died, suddenly.
The Story:
What I had intended was to a) get my own place, b) set up my coaching business, c) and stop by after work and coaching to help our parents to begin organizing 40 plus years of their lives down to a manageable state in case they needed to move into a more accommodating living space.
I was all set to search for apartments, meet with other local wellness coaches, network, volunteer in the community, and live life to its fullest, including looking forward to meeting the beloved of my life, along the way.
Well, as I always say, “Show God your plans, and be ready for either a smile, and shake of God’s head, or God rolling on the floor having a full laugh fest. God does have a great sense of humor, and loves a good joke. At least how I have experienced God.
In essence, what I had planned was not what God had on deck for me at that moment.
Stay tuned for more right after our FIRST spotlight moment…
Spotlight Moment #1:
Informing all caregivers, whether caring for elders, beloved, children, or friends need to have a quality home health agency, a respite care service, a day program, a trusted family member, or friend in their rolodex. I know, I am dating myself. Haha Why? Because by having access to them you gain an extra set of hands, and your loved ones gain an extra set of hearts. When you contract with an agency to have a sitter be with your loved one, for a set number of hours, this allows you time to run errands, take a much needed break, focus on self care, or do absolutely nothing, whether you are at home with them, or you took a stay-cation.
A respite care home allows you to take a three day stay-cation or vacation knowing that your loved one has a place to go stay, away from home, with folks who understand their journey, and who will honor, respect and engage with them while you are taking care of yourself.
If you have small children, seek a trusted family member or friend who aligns with your way of being with your child, and honors your way of raising your child, to support you, with them, as you need. So, ask your friends and family who they would recommend, then create yoru own rolodexcontact page to have on hand when you feel as if you need a break from caregiving. And, please don’t even think of feeling guilty for choosing to put your wellbeing first.
Now, back to our show…
Welcome Back
Instead of my plans, God’s plan was for our Mom’s Psalms 139 contract to come to it’s ordained completion, for me to move back into the home we grew up in, and initially only being able to work part time, while taking care of our Dad, full time, who was journeying through the initial leg of Alzheimer’s journey, for almost the next seven years.
Initially, I was stunned by the shift, and simultaneously trying to find time to process and mourn the loss of our Mama, while caregiving. All while navigating the ins and outs, ups and downs of getting our Dede the support that he needed, while not losing myself in the process.
Know that I am my parents “Why?” child. I am the one, since day one, that asked, “Why?” until either I received an answer that sat sound in my sha-na-na or until I made the decision that you didn’t have the answer and I sought the answer myself. I was blessed to learn early on that there are no stupid questions, and if no one has the answer, go and seek one out, then as I learn I share, so that others may also be blessed. I know that I am purposed to inform, and I leave it to the dignity of others' journeys as to whether or not they will use that information to deform, conform, or transform their lives.
So, when I realized that there was a hitch happening in my giddy up (plans), I began the process of learning all that I could to ensure that a) our Dede’s journey was one of dignity and respect, b) that we honored this season by creating wonderful new family memories, c) that I initiated ways to remain connected to those parts of myself that mattered most to me (for example I created a social media group centered around community health which allowed me to share as I grew in my own journey of holistic health), and d) In order for me to maintain the best level of self care for myself possible, which included realizing that a delay in my giddy up (plans/journey) was not necessarily a denial.
After the caregiving leg of my journey came to its end, and I had time to a) process the loss of not one, yet two parents in less than seven years, b) release myself from a relationship that no longer served my highest good, and c) ground myself in my new sanctuary (home) which became my own unique self care healing chrysalis. It was here that I realized that every pivot, turn, juxtaposition, juncture, and jolt was divinely orchestrated by the Divine, for my greater good, as a spiritual being, as a person, a woman, a daughter, a minister, an advocate, entrepreneur, sibling, future beloved and friend.
Where, and How, I stand now, regarding many things, is a long way away from where, and how I stood pre-caregiving season. I am clearer about what I will and will not tolerate, from anyone. I am clear that every journey in my life was leading up to the culmination of an integration of my gifts, talents, skills, and life experiences, which will forever inform how I move and flow in the world - spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and relationally - within myself and amongst others. I am forever grateful for God’s detour and I wouldn’t take nothing for the journeys that I have journeyed.
My Reflections:
Up until a few years ago, I used to create a vision board, every new years, until one day I realized and made the personal decision to create one all inclusive life dream board - one that expressed the fullness of what I ultimately would like to be sitting back, rocking in a rocking chair, reminiscing about some 50 plus years from now. For me, this allowed me to untie both my own and the Divine’s hands, and make way for the ebb and flow of the Universe beautifully conspiring for my good, in both expected and unexpected ways. My only focus is to remain tuned in, and move with God, as I am guided through the steps and stages that will ultimately make the becoming and fruition of my life’s dream board appear. Thus, maybe, a few less hitches in my giddy up will appear. We'll see.
My Insight:
Even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense at all, in that grand scheme of God’s plan, it does. Hold your head up high, do your best with what you have to offer in that moment, trusting that all is well, and will be well, and that because God’s timing is not our linear timing, what may have felt at one point as a loss of time, at least for me, was very much so a gaining of all that I needed to be in this present moment, right now, right here, being about the business God has called me to be about - which I view as a 360 degree culmination and expression of all that is uniquely me - you know the Why child who speaks and brings life, light, hope, wholeness and spiritual truth, with wisdom and discernment, to the world, in support of caregivers and those they care for, in a way that only I can bring it to the table based on my Psalms 139 contract, with God.
Now, it’s time for our next Spotlight moment…
Spotlight Moment #2:
Have you ever been going along about your journey, caregiving or otherwise and the time comes when you need to a) order your own affairs, b) order the affairs of your loved one, or c) do both simultaneously, say like in the year of 2020? …Hmm…and as such need the services of a qualified notary arises. Well, when those moments arise, contact the team of Notary Needz (with a “z”) and they will take care of you and all of your signing/notarizing needs, and serve as your first line of defense against fraud. Notary Needz provides title transfers, property protection, living and last wills, power of attorneys, travel documents, employment verification, I-9 and unclaimed property notarizing services. Go ahead. Contact Notary Needz (with a “z”) at www.notaryneedz.comor give them a call at 770-756-6290. They provide services to the metropolitan Atlanta area and all its surrounding communities.
Now, back to our show…
Here are my take-away, tip, tool, and toss.
Take-a-Way: It’s okay to have a plan, and set an intended focus, yet always leave some space for the Divine to flow through, show up, and show out on your behalf. Allow your plan “B” to be… Be flexible.
Tip: Injoy every quality moment that you are blessed to spend with your loved ones, and don’t hesitate to let them know just how much you love, admire, adore, honor, and appreciate them. There is only the present. And, that is a gift of life. Live it and Love it with every moment.
Tool: A great notary service provider, so that you begin now ordering your affairs, so that you aren’t blindsided i. e. caught off guard not having your financial, wellness, and legacy affairs in order. Why? Because in families, any person's unpreparedness will domino affect everyone else in the family, whether intended or not.
Toss: Go to your local library and borrow books on estate planning. Then begin having conversations about and taking steps to have each family member order their affairs. If they are old enough to work, own a business, or have assets and liabilities, plus, a desire to be in control of establishing the dignity with which they want to be treated, and their affairs handled, then they are old enough to sit at the estate planning family meeting table.
Closing:
In closing, I’d like to take this time to thank you all, both my seasoned and new followers, for spending your time with me on today’s Joy in the Midst of It All journey.
Now, take a moment to tap the button on your favorite podcast streaming platform to tune in, follow, subscribe and rate the show. You may have to log in depending on the service you use. You will also receive updates when a new episode is released. We release an episode every second and fourth Thursday of the month. OK. Also, go ahead and tag a family caregiver, or a few, if you know them, and tell them one thing you have learned today, or from any previous episode, that will support you, and maybe them, in moving through the caregiving journey with more ease, no matter who God has chosen for you to offer your gift of caregiving to. Then, blaze a trail on over to my podcast website, for the show notes, transcript, and any links, and if your heart so leads you tip me what I like to call a “Cup of J.O.E. (A jolt of encouragement and support),” over at my Buy Me a Cup of Coffee website link. Understand, though, I do prefer tea. You will see the link in the show notes.
I am your host Aminah, and I want you to be blessed and less stressed...Why?, because yours and their lives depend on it. Have a great day.
Outro Music: Royalty Free
https://linktr.ee/findingjoywithinthejunctures
Buy Me a Cup of Coffee (Tea) for a J.O.E. (Jolt of Encouragement and Support)
2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE (TM) – All Rights Reserved
