{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Dont Look Under The Internet ","startTime":16.95,"endTime":18.75,"body":"Don't"},{"speaker":"Dont Look Under The Internet ","startTime":16.95,"endTime":18.75,"body":"look under the internet."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":28.38,"endTime":31.62,"body":"elbows for knees or knees"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":28.38,"endTime":31.62,"body":"for elbows,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":31.74,"endTime":32.4,"body":"which would be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":34.05,"endTime":36.51,"body":"I want to say they work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":34.05,"endTime":36.51,"body":"the same way. No,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":36.54,"endTime":41.4,"body":"you're dumb. Because like,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":36.54,"endTime":41.4,"body":"this way Exactly, yeah. If you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":41.4,"endTime":43.59,"body":"had knees for elbows, your"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":41.4,"endTime":43.59,"body":"elbows would be kinda like"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":43.59,"endTime":48.06,"body":"ostrich legs. You know what I"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":43.59,"endTime":48.06,"body":"mean? Like bending backwards."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":48.06,"endTime":48.75,"body":"Yes. And"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":48.75,"endTime":49.05,"body":"you're,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":49.229,"endTime":52.169,"body":"you're out your knees. I'm"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":49.229,"endTime":52.169,"body":"confused now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.59,"endTime":55.23,"body":"Can I opt into not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":52.59,"endTime":55.23,"body":"doing either? No, you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":55.229,"endTime":56.189,"body":"have to do one or the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":55.229,"endTime":56.189,"body":"other."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":56.49,"endTime":59.01,"body":"Mike has confused"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":56.49,"endTime":59.01,"body":"himself. Once again."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":59.04,"endTime":63.27,"body":"I saw a video on tik"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":59.04,"endTime":63.27,"body":"tok today, where that was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":63.27,"endTime":66.15,"body":"exactly what was going on the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":63.27,"endTime":66.15,"body":"guy's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.08,"endTime":69.6,"body":"whole other backwards."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":67.08,"endTime":69.6,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":69.69,"endTime":70.74,"body":"Oh my god,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":70.74,"endTime":75.33,"body":"someone already made the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":70.74,"endTime":75.33,"body":"decision. Dont Look Under The"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":75.33,"endTime":80.34,"body":"Internet. Everybody. 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That's all for you."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":96.3,"endTime":99.48,"body":"All right, no, shut off."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.29,"endTime":101.07,"body":"free time."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":102.15,"endTime":104.43,"body":"You gotta watch. If you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":102.15,"endTime":104.43,"body":"don't show them who's in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":104.46,"endTime":107.13,"body":"control, then they just step all"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":104.46,"endTime":107.13,"body":"over you and the last thing we"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":107.13,"endTime":109.29,"body":"want. It's like that scene from"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":107.13,"endTime":109.29,"body":"A Bug's Life."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":111.78,"endTime":112.62,"body":"where he's like on"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":112.65,"endTime":116.07,"body":"one hand rises up. They all do"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":112.65,"endTime":116.07,"body":"if you let one AUDIENCE MEMBER"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":116.07,"endTime":120.48,"body":"just out of term. And then all"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":116.07,"endTime":120.48,"body":"of them will. So you just got to"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":120.54,"endTime":123.33,"body":"Well, that's why we killed"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":120.54,"endTime":123.33,"body":"half of them last time. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":123.39,"endTime":126.0,"body":"And now the rest of them are in"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":123.39,"endTime":126.0,"body":"the the backrooms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.03,"endTime":128.55,"body":"debating them back with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.03,"endTime":128.55,"body":"no, they took them there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.61,"endTime":131.01,"body":"I mean, we kind of just said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":128.61,"endTime":131.01,"body":"Hey, figure it out. You don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.01,"endTime":134.13,"body":"get to listen to this. Explain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":131.01,"endTime":134.13,"body":"how you get out. But you can."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.37,"endTime":135.78,"body":"You'll figure it out here for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.37,"endTime":135.78,"body":"the other one. This"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":135.78,"endTime":138.39,"body":"is a new audience. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":135.78,"endTime":138.39,"body":"yes. 2.0"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.42,"endTime":141.39,"body":"we bought a new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":138.42,"endTime":141.39,"body":"audience. Yeah. Okay. We have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.39,"endTime":143.13,"body":"that kind of money. They're all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":141.39,"endTime":143.13,"body":"bear. Thank you."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":143.25,"endTime":149.61,"body":"Thank you. stimulus check."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":143.25,"endTime":149.61,"body":"Yes. Mama dog. Tell us a little"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":149.61,"endTime":151.41,"body":"bit about yourself that you're"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":149.61,"endTime":151.41,"body":"wanting to share with"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":152.13,"endTime":153.93,"body":"you. Yeah. What's the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":152.13,"endTime":153.93,"body":"occasion? What? Why?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":153.99,"endTime":154.92,"body":"Where are you here today?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":156.36,"endTime":157.86,"body":"Well, you asked me"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":156.36,"endTime":157.86,"body":"to come here."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":160.56,"endTime":161.64,"body":"He's not wrong at all."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":161.7,"endTime":163.68,"body":"I'm visiting from"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":161.7,"endTime":163.68,"body":"Phoenix."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":165.36,"endTime":168.12,"body":"Where it's warm. Now, like here,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":168.15,"endTime":170.31,"body":"because I wanted to spend"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":168.15,"endTime":170.31,"body":"Mother's Day with mice."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":170.91,"endTime":172.8,"body":"Oh, doggles."},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":172.93,"endTime":174.46,"body":"Yeah, we did a whole lot"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":172.93,"endTime":174.46,"body":"of nothing."},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":174.46,"endTime":175.09,"body":"It's been real nice."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":175.09,"endTime":179.44,"body":"I can imagine. Well,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":175.09,"endTime":179.44,"body":"awesome. Thank you so so, so"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":179.44,"endTime":184.45,"body":"much for joining us today. We're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":179.44,"endTime":184.45,"body":"very happy to have you. Do we"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":184.45,"endTime":185.47,"body":"know what we're doing?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":186.03,"endTime":189.24,"body":"I have not really"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":186.03,"endTime":189.24,"body":"much information on this."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":189.419,"endTime":193.589,"body":"Well, we'll give you a"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":189.419,"endTime":193.589,"body":"hint. Because it's mom day. It"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":193.589,"endTime":194.939,"body":"is mom day related."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":195.87,"endTime":196.86,"body":"We do a bunch of"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":196.86,"endTime":200.52,"body":"creepy pastas. Much of spooky"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":196.86,"endTime":200.52,"body":"spin gets around here so you can"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":200.52,"endTime":204.81,"body":"imagine what we have lined up."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":200.52,"endTime":204.81,"body":"We have a creepy podcast called"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":204.81,"endTime":208.08,"body":"waiting for mom. That's what I"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":204.81,"endTime":208.08,"body":"was getting past. What I say"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":208.14,"endTime":212.1,"body":"creepy. Creepy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":212.13,"endTime":216.48,"body":"rebranding. Creepy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":212.13,"endTime":216.48,"body":"pastor creepy podcast creepy mom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":216.48,"endTime":216.78,"body":"now"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":216.81,"endTime":221.79,"body":"and we thought we go sad"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":216.81,"endTime":221.79,"body":"be me. We thought we go a little"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":221.79,"endTime":223.41,"body":"spooky on this mom day. So"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":223.47,"endTime":227.34,"body":"absolutely. Especially"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":223.47,"endTime":227.34,"body":"when we had a fresh set of lungs"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":227.49,"endTime":230.85,"body":"on the audio recording deck. I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":227.49,"endTime":230.85,"body":"think that'd be really"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":230.97,"endTime":236.31,"body":"refreshing. Yeah, let let people"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":230.97,"endTime":236.31,"body":"hear other voices that are not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":236.34,"endTime":239.88,"body":"us anymore. Absolutely. Before"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":236.34,"endTime":239.88,"body":"we kind of get into that I do"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":239.88,"endTime":243.72,"body":"want to know, Mama dog. What is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":239.88,"endTime":243.72,"body":"the most embarrassing thing that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":243.72,"endTime":246.72,"body":"Doug has done? First thing that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":243.72,"endTime":246.72,"body":"comes to your mind? Hmm."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":247.26,"endTime":252.42,"body":"We were once when we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":247.26,"endTime":252.42,"body":"lived in Spain. It was rather"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":252.42,"endTime":253.14,"body":"embarrassing."},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":254.31,"endTime":258.03,"body":"When we list the Olive"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":254.31,"endTime":258.03,"body":"Garden thing. Hardee's Hardee's"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":258.03,"endTime":258.3,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":259.86,"endTime":265.77,"body":"knew he was about"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":259.86,"endTime":265.77,"body":"three, four years old and we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":265.77,"endTime":271.23,"body":"went to Hardee's to eat. And we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":265.77,"endTime":271.23,"body":"got our food and we were sitting"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":271.23,"endTime":275.28,"body":"in the booth and he was actually"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":271.23,"endTime":275.28,"body":"standing in the booth. Of"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":275.28,"endTime":275.79,"body":"course,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":276.54,"endTime":278.46,"body":"like the rebellious dog"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":276.54,"endTime":278.46,"body":"that he is"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":278.61,"endTime":286.98,"body":"and all of a sudden"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":278.61,"endTime":286.98,"body":"he threw up right into his food."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":292.8,"endTime":293.94,"body":"You ruin family dinner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.22,"endTime":296.82,"body":"parties."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":297.78,"endTime":300.6,"body":"This triple bacon burger."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":297.78,"endTime":300.6,"body":"Son of"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":300.6,"endTime":303.54,"body":"a bitch. I just happen to"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":300.6,"endTime":303.54,"body":"have an extra thing of secret"},{"speaker":"Doug","startTime":303.54,"endTime":304.41,"body":"sauce for the table."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":306.72,"endTime":308.79,"body":"Thank you for that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":306.72,"endTime":308.79,"body":"Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.85,"endTime":312.15,"body":"well now that you all know Doug"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.85,"endTime":312.15,"body":"a little bit better, I kind"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":312.15,"endTime":314.7,"body":"of wish that happened at"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":312.15,"endTime":314.7,"body":"the Olive Garden like you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":314.7,"endTime":318.09,"body":"thought it did. Cuz it would"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":314.7,"endTime":318.09,"body":"have had more of an impact on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.12,"endTime":321.0,"body":"you. And it's a hard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.12,"endTime":321.0,"body":"it's already."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":321.27,"endTime":324.57,"body":"Yeah. If anything that's"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":321.27,"endTime":324.57,"body":"just adding to the field health"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":324.57,"endTime":328.29,"body":"code that they already had. If"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":324.57,"endTime":328.29,"body":"it was the olive garden has been"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":328.29,"endTime":333.81,"body":"more prestigious. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":328.29,"endTime":333.81,"body":"they're staged. Speaking of, you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":333.81,"endTime":339.96,"body":"know, food. We have a story"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":333.81,"endTime":339.96,"body":"about a mom who went to go get"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":339.96,"endTime":344.4,"body":"food. And something that"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":339.96,"endTime":344.4,"body":"happened in the meantime."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.43,"endTime":349.53,"body":"Yeah, that was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.43,"endTime":349.53,"body":"worst bird scooter ever. segway,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.77,"endTime":351.63,"body":"it was even more terrible."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":352.26,"endTime":353.79,"body":"You fucking come up with one."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":354.69,"endTime":357.3,"body":"If you guys want to"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":354.69,"endTime":357.3,"body":"appreciate what I have, then why"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":357.3,"endTime":358.5,"body":"do I even bring it to the table?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.71,"endTime":362.46,"body":"So okay, what what are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.71,"endTime":362.46,"body":"we? What are we covering today?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":362.55,"endTime":365.49,"body":"We're waiting for mom."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":362.55,"endTime":365.49,"body":"We're waiting for waiting for"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":365.49,"endTime":368.61,"body":"mom. That's a creepy pasta about"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":365.49,"endTime":368.61,"body":"a boy's mom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":369.12,"endTime":371.43,"body":"How long? How long do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":369.12,"endTime":371.43,"body":"we wait?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.11,"endTime":376.26,"body":"Just keep waiting till my leg"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":373.11,"endTime":376.26,"body":"stops being asleep because oh my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.26,"endTime":378.75,"body":"god, the static is real right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":376.26,"endTime":378.75,"body":"now."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":378.87,"endTime":382.05,"body":"Let's just let's just jump"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":378.87,"endTime":382.05,"body":"into this one shot."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":388.86,"endTime":390.57,"body":"Like my mom is in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":388.86,"endTime":390.57,"body":"room."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":391.379,"endTime":395.369,"body":"let's dump extra hard and"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":391.379,"endTime":395.369,"body":"creepy pasta for mom. Take it"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":395.369,"endTime":395.819,"body":"away."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":397.08,"endTime":397.74,"body":"Mom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.86,"endTime":404.22,"body":"I was home alone on a Tuesday"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.86,"endTime":404.22,"body":"night. It was spring break. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":404.22,"endTime":407.01,"body":"despite all the things my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":404.22,"endTime":407.01,"body":"parents wanted me to do, go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.01,"endTime":410.37,"body":"the mall with friends see a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":407.01,"endTime":410.37,"body":"movie catch up on my reading. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.37,"endTime":414.12,"body":"had really nothing going on. For"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.37,"endTime":414.12,"body":"the past five days, I've spent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.12,"endTime":417.24,"body":"my free time sitting in front of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.12,"endTime":417.24,"body":"the TV and drawing my favorite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.24,"endTime":423.57,"body":"Marvel superheroes. Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.24,"endTime":423.57,"body":"tonight was different. As usual,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.57,"endTime":426.39,"body":"I was watching comedy shows and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.57,"endTime":426.39,"body":"drawing my favorite characters"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.39,"endTime":429.66,"body":"and the people I shipped them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.39,"endTime":429.66,"body":"with. 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I told her no because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.68,"endTime":443.4,"body":"well, I just didn't want to go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":439.68,"endTime":443.4,"body":"I was a kid and I thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.4,"endTime":446.34,"body":"watching TV was way more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.4,"endTime":446.34,"body":"exciting than waiting in line"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.34,"endTime":450.75,"body":"for groceries or a package. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.34,"endTime":450.75,"body":"was around 11pm when I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.75,"endTime":453.96,"body":"wondering why my mom wasn't home"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.75,"endTime":453.96,"body":"yet. Usually she would have been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":453.96,"endTime":457.02,"body":"home about two hours ago telling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":453.96,"endTime":457.02,"body":"me to go to bed because it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":457.26,"endTime":460.92,"body":"and I quote too late for a 15"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":457.26,"endTime":460.92,"body":"year old to still be up at this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.92,"endTime":464.19,"body":"hour. Not that I would have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.92,"endTime":464.19,"body":"gotten asleep right away. I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.19,"endTime":466.92,"body":"probably be on my phone for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.19,"endTime":466.92,"body":"next hour or so until I got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.92,"endTime":470.76,"body":"tired or bored. But right now my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.92,"endTime":470.76,"body":"mom was not here to tell me what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.76,"endTime":474.75,"body":"to do. If we had been keeping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.76,"endTime":474.75,"body":"track of how long it would take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":474.75,"endTime":478.77,"body":"my mom to shop, this would have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":474.75,"endTime":478.77,"body":"been a new world record. Then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.77,"endTime":482.67,"body":"the garage door opened. About"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.77,"endTime":482.67,"body":"time I thought I was actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.67,"endTime":485.43,"body":"tired at this point was kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.67,"endTime":485.43,"body":"hoping my mom would arrive soon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.43,"endTime":488.55,"body":"so that I wouldn't fall asleep."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":485.43,"endTime":488.55,"body":"Then my mom would have had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":488.55,"endTime":491.97,"body":"find a new way into the house. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":488.55,"endTime":491.97,"body":"remember ever since I was 10 my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.97,"endTime":494.55,"body":"mom would leave me home alone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":491.97,"endTime":494.55,"body":"and whenever she got home, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":494.55,"endTime":497.37,"body":"would walk to the door that led"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":494.55,"endTime":497.37,"body":"to our garage and wait for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.37,"endTime":499.83,"body":"engine of her car to turn off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":497.37,"endTime":499.83,"body":"before unlocking and opening the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.83,"endTime":503.94,"body":"door for her. I got up from the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":499.83,"endTime":503.94,"body":"couch and trudge towards the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.94,"endTime":507.21,"body":"door. I quietly listened for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":503.94,"endTime":507.21,"body":"engine to home and then get cut"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.21,"endTime":510.9,"body":"off. Listen for my mom's high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.21,"endTime":510.9,"body":"heels to click towards me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.05,"endTime":514.92,"body":"quietly at first, but gradually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.05,"endTime":514.92,"body":"getting louder. But when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":514.92,"endTime":518.55,"body":"stopped to listen, all I heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":514.92,"endTime":518.55,"body":"was silence. It was like I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.55,"endTime":522.78,"body":"gone deaf instantly. I heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":518.55,"endTime":522.78,"body":"nothing in the house or outside"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.81,"endTime":526.74,"body":"in the garage. No engine"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.81,"endTime":526.74,"body":"running. Nothing. Not even my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.74,"endTime":529.26,"body":"mom's clicking high heels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.74,"endTime":529.26,"body":"sounded behind the lock door."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":531.81,"endTime":534.21,"body":"Charlie, please unlock the door."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":535.47,"endTime":537.6,"body":"What's the secret pass"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":535.47,"endTime":537.6,"body":"code?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":538.74,"endTime":542.85,"body":"Charlie, please"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":538.74,"endTime":542.85,"body":"unlock the door. Wrong."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.7,"endTime":547.64,"body":"I left and began"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.7,"endTime":547.64,"body":"unlocking the door. We had five"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.64,"endTime":551.45,"body":"locks on our garage, front and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.64,"endTime":551.45,"body":"back door. My mom like playing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.45,"endTime":553.88,"body":"it safe when it came to leaving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.45,"endTime":553.88,"body":"her only child home alone."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":556.07,"endTime":556.4,"body":"The correct"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":557.1,"endTime":560.46,"body":"answer was Charlie"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":557.1,"endTime":560.46,"body":"unlocked the door."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":562.679,"endTime":563.909,"body":"Why do you keep saying that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":565.44,"endTime":568.02,"body":"I froze where I stood"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":565.44,"endTime":568.02,"body":"keeping my fingers on the third"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.02,"endTime":573.36,"body":"lock. This was a little weird."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.02,"endTime":573.36,"body":"My mom has never even spoken to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.36,"endTime":576.33,"body":"me through the door. And why was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.36,"endTime":576.33,"body":"she repeating the same thing to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.33,"endTime":576.6,"body":"me?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.85,"endTime":584.01,"body":"Are you okay mom? Charlie,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.85,"endTime":584.01,"body":"please unlock the door."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.15,"endTime":595.83,"body":"The way she said my name was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.15,"endTime":595.83,"body":"creepiest part. After hearing it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.83,"endTime":600.06,"body":"four times I started to sound"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.83,"endTime":600.06,"body":"like an echo. In fact, by The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.06,"endTime":604.02,"body":"fourth time Charlie didn't even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.06,"endTime":604.02,"body":"sound like a name anymore, or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.02,"endTime":607.74,"body":"word. I took my fingers off the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.02,"endTime":607.74,"body":"third lock and backed away from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.74,"endTime":610.68,"body":"the door. It was still quiet in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.74,"endTime":610.68,"body":"the house, but the further I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.68,"endTime":614.16,"body":"backed away, the more my name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.68,"endTime":614.16,"body":"seemed to echo from the garage."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.36,"endTime":622.44,"body":"Lock the door."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.14,"endTime":628.86,"body":"I wanted to scream. I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.14,"endTime":628.86,"body":"open the door and stab what was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.86,"endTime":632.13,"body":"ever on the other side with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.86,"endTime":632.13,"body":"knife. Have I gone crazy?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.27,"endTime":636.39,"body":"Holding my head with my hands"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":633.27,"endTime":636.39,"body":"out of annoyance in the mess of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.39,"endTime":641.04,"body":"headache I had just gotten. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.39,"endTime":641.04,"body":"wanted it to end but hadn't even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.04,"endTime":644.97,"body":"been going on for five minutes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.04,"endTime":644.97,"body":"and already the front door open."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.99,"endTime":648.57,"body":"I was about to cry out like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.99,"endTime":648.57,"body":"frightened five year old girl."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.75,"endTime":653.19,"body":"When I heard a familiar clicking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.75,"endTime":653.19,"body":"noise. My mom was home. I ran up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.19,"endTime":655.77,"body":"to her she was gently setting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.19,"endTime":655.77,"body":"her groceries down on the floor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.77,"endTime":659.04,"body":"preparing to take her coat and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.77,"endTime":659.04,"body":"shoes off. I embraced her before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.04,"endTime":660.12,"body":"she got the chance."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":661.529,"endTime":662.789,"body":"What's the occasion?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":663.48,"endTime":664.14,"body":"I'm just"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":665.1,"endTime":666.63,"body":"glad that you're home mom."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":667.95,"endTime":670.44,"body":"Did you watch that?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":667.95,"endTime":670.44,"body":"Don't be afraid of that dark"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":670.44,"endTime":671.79,"body":"thing again."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":672.45,"endTime":675.6,"body":"No, just the Bonny man"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":672.45,"endTime":675.6,"body":"massacre."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":676.559,"endTime":678.869,"body":"You know I hate it"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":676.559,"endTime":678.869,"body":"when you watch those things"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":678.869,"endTime":684.359,"body":"right before bed. As a matter of"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":678.869,"endTime":684.359,"body":"fact, you should go brush your"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":684.359,"endTime":687.779,"body":"teeth, slip on your PJs and head"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":684.359,"endTime":687.779,"body":"to bed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.58,"endTime":692.88,"body":"or not. But I did want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.58,"endTime":692.88,"body":"to read a little bit before bed."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.09,"endTime":696.48,"body":"So I went to the family room to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":693.09,"endTime":696.48,"body":"get my book from my backpack. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":696.48,"endTime":699.0,"body":"couldn't wait to just sit in bed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":696.48,"endTime":699.0,"body":"for another 20 minutes and just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":699.0,"endTime":703.44,"body":"read my new book. It was always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":699.0,"endTime":703.44,"body":"a way of ending another day. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":703.44,"endTime":707.07,"body":"then I looked outside our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":703.44,"endTime":707.07,"body":"driveway was invisible in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.07,"endTime":710.31,"body":"black of night. Except for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.07,"endTime":710.31,"body":"basketball hoop that stood off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":710.31,"endTime":714.48,"body":"towards the side of our lawn."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":710.31,"endTime":714.48,"body":"But usually if something was in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.48,"endTime":718.41,"body":"the driveway we wouldn't be able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":714.48,"endTime":718.41,"body":"to see it shape. And this time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.31,"endTime":720.33,"body":"there was no car"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":726.27,"endTime":728.91,"body":"oh my god so spooky scary."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.289,"endTime":733.259,"body":"That was something else"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.289,"endTime":733.259,"body":"I you've ruffled Mike's Jimmy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":733.259,"endTime":733.529,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":733.529,"endTime":738.269,"body":"I pee peed a little not in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":733.529,"endTime":738.269,"body":"here. Round of applause everyone"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":738.269,"endTime":740.339,"body":"for mama dogs."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.4,"endTime":744.57,"body":"Yes, please acting we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":740.4,"endTime":744.57,"body":"have our our guest voice actor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.6,"endTime":748.59,"body":"your sag and your sag check is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.6,"endTime":748.59,"body":"in the mail. If I'm being her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.59,"endTime":750.42,"body":"voice kind of made the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.59,"endTime":750.42,"body":"thing."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":754.32,"endTime":755.61,"body":"And now we have Elvis in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":754.32,"endTime":755.61,"body":"here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.909,"endTime":757.199,"body":"Apparently Elvis is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.909,"endTime":757.199,"body":"here too."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":758.7,"endTime":761.73,"body":"But Doug, you said you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":758.7,"endTime":761.73,"body":"have a couple more Mother's Day"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":761.73,"endTime":763.92,"body":"factoids for us. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.92,"endTime":767.55,"body":"mean, I was trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.92,"endTime":767.55,"body":"find some like good spooky dark"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.58,"endTime":769.47,"body":"Mother's Day history stuff and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.4,"endTime":773.85,"body":"I'm not that dark. They're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":770.4,"endTime":773.85,"body":"well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.85,"endTime":776.88,"body":"all the fucking in my mind all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.85,"endTime":776.88,"body":"of the dark Mother's Day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.88,"endTime":782.31,"body":"references just fall on Casey"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.88,"endTime":782.31,"body":"Anthony. That's a whole episode"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.31,"endTime":787.59,"body":"on. And like, I just don't feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.31,"endTime":787.59,"body":"right. Just fucking picking the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.59,"endTime":788.85,"body":"low hanging fruit there."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":788.909,"endTime":791.729,"body":"Now she's a terrible"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":788.909,"endTime":791.729,"body":"person. We'll get that. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":792.209,"endTime":797.939,"body":"But I mean, so if you guys"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":792.209,"endTime":797.939,"body":"wanted to know, Mother's Day was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":797.939,"endTime":803.009,"body":"actually like I want to say even"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":797.939,"endTime":803.009,"body":"so the the official days or the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":803.009,"endTime":807.449,"body":"official year is 1914 is when"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":803.009,"endTime":807.449,"body":"Mother's Day was signed into law"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":808.079,"endTime":811.799,"body":"1914 I want to say it was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":808.079,"endTime":811.799,"body":"Woodrow Wilson please fact check"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":811.799,"endTime":814.649,"body":"me but I'm pretty sure that's"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":811.799,"endTime":814.649,"body":"who signed it into law. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":814.679,"endTime":817.409,"body":"most of the world celebrates"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":814.679,"endTime":817.409,"body":"this regardless of it."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":819.09,"endTime":821.64,"body":"Being a law is bullshit."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.57,"endTime":826.53,"body":"You want a mother's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.57,"endTime":826.53,"body":"day?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.529,"endTime":828.629,"body":"Let's let me let me explain a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.529,"endTime":828.629,"body":"little bit."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.99,"endTime":829.71,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.059,"endTime":835.619,"body":"this woman basically was very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.059,"endTime":835.619,"body":"adamant about having what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.619,"endTime":839.759,"body":"know as Mother's Day because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":835.619,"endTime":839.759,"body":"back in the day, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.759,"endTime":845.129,"body":"childbirth didn't go so great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.759,"endTime":845.129,"body":"because unsterile situations and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.129,"endTime":848.699,"body":"not enough you know medical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.129,"endTime":848.699,"body":"research having been like been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.699,"endTime":849.179,"body":"done"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":849.84,"endTime":852.9,"body":"of source to scalpels"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":849.84,"endTime":852.9,"body":"clean water."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.559,"endTime":856.739,"body":"I put the baby in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.559,"endTime":856.739,"body":"bucket like what do you want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.739,"endTime":860.069,"body":"from me? It's still wet from the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":856.739,"endTime":860.069,"body":"last fucking operation. I did."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.099,"endTime":861.509,"body":"Obviously it's still clean,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":861.54,"endTime":862.8,"body":"lubricated. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.339,"endTime":865.859,"body":"So what there's you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.339,"endTime":865.859,"body":"know, Billy Bob's blood in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.919,"endTime":871.019,"body":"bucket. It's blood, the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.919,"endTime":871.019,"body":"substance, I get it. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.139,"endTime":873.359,"body":"basically, this woman fought for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.139,"endTime":873.359,"body":"it for a long time. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.359,"endTime":877.019,"body":"finally her daughter actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":873.359,"endTime":877.019,"body":"ended up being like, hey, my mom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.139,"endTime":880.619,"body":"died and wanted this to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.139,"endTime":880.619,"body":"thing. And then she kind of went"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.619,"endTime":884.579,"body":"in and got it done. So it's it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":880.619,"endTime":884.579,"body":"really not that exciting of a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":884.579,"endTime":884.909,"body":"story."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.479,"endTime":886.139,"body":"But uh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.95,"endTime":890.94,"body":"it's creepy as fuck, though. A"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.95,"endTime":890.94,"body":"little morbid. Yeah, just a bit."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.01,"body":"But to be fair, the Greeks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.01,"body":"actually celebrated Mother's Day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.01,"endTime":898.65,"body":"in a different way back in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.01,"endTime":898.65,"body":"day because they you know, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.65,"endTime":902.91,"body":"celebrated the the Got a hot in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.65,"endTime":902.91,"body":"here? Does it sound hot? Is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.91,"endTime":903.99,"body":"what that noise is? I'm"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":903.989,"endTime":905.429,"body":"putting up a storm. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.46,"endTime":908.07,"body":"we've like put your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.46,"endTime":908.07,"body":"cock away. Okay, technically we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.07,"endTime":911.55,"body":"have two guests in the house"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.07,"endTime":911.55,"body":"tonight. One is the very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.55,"endTime":917.55,"body":"illustrious the very famous mama"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":911.55,"endTime":917.55,"body":"Doug, who has decided to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.55,"endTime":920.07,"body":"dedicate her night to helping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.55,"endTime":920.07,"body":"our podcast."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":921.57,"endTime":922.5,"body":"Her last night"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.5,"endTime":928.11,"body":"in town and the other Yeah, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.5,"endTime":928.11,"body":"other is my fucking dog Finley"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":928.11,"endTime":931.65,"body":"who is distracting Mike right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":928.11,"endTime":931.65,"body":"now because his face is in his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":931.65,"endTime":932.22,"body":"crotch,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":932.25,"endTime":933.21,"body":"you Good boy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.27,"endTime":936.03,"body":"And you can take that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.27,"endTime":936.03,"body":"however you want. He's a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.03,"endTime":936.39,"body":"boy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.32,"endTime":939.45,"body":"That's not healthy. Yes. A good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.32,"endTime":939.45,"body":"boy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.9,"endTime":940.8,"body":"He is a good boy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.37,"endTime":944.46,"body":"Mike, you and Laura need to talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.37,"endTime":944.46,"body":"about a couple things. One of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.46,"endTime":952.95,"body":"which being a dog. The other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":944.46,"endTime":952.95,"body":"being my crotch. Yes. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.95,"endTime":956.25,"body":"noises that Finley is making?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.95,"endTime":956.25,"body":"Yeah, he's making some gurgling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.25,"endTime":957.3,"body":"noises down there"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":957.51,"endTime":959.34,"body":"was was was that it with"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":957.51,"endTime":959.34,"body":"your?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":961.17,"endTime":962.94,"body":"Yeah, that's about"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":961.17,"endTime":962.94,"body":"it. That's all I could find."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":962.94,"endTime":966.87,"body":"That was like, honestly"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":962.94,"endTime":966.87,"body":"interesting to me. Obviously,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":966.87,"endTime":970.14,"body":"the Greek celebrate, you know,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":966.87,"endTime":970.14,"body":"multitude of gods and their"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":970.14,"endTime":973.65,"body":"different things that happens."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":970.14,"endTime":973.65,"body":"You know, I actually do have one"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":973.68,"endTime":977.43,"body":"little tidbit of information"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":973.68,"endTime":977.43,"body":"about Mother's Day. And it's"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":977.43,"endTime":982.14,"body":"that on Mother's Day, the female"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":977.43,"endTime":982.14,"body":"committed crimes dropped by like"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":982.14,"endTime":985.35,"body":"a like a fuck, I don't know the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":982.14,"endTime":985.35,"body":"exact percentage but they go way"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":985.35,"endTime":989.58,"body":"down. Which leads me to believe"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":985.35,"endTime":989.58,"body":"that you motherfuckers on every"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":989.58,"endTime":993.69,"body":"other day of the year, all of"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":989.58,"endTime":993.69,"body":"you moms are just committing"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":994.32,"endTime":1000.62,"body":"acts of theft and other crimes."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":994.32,"endTime":1000.62,"body":"Why is it so low on Mother's"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1000.62,"endTime":1000.98,"body":"Day?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1001.549,"endTime":1002.839,"body":"Oh, hell yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.789,"endTime":1007.669,"body":"Mama dog when do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.789,"endTime":1007.669,"body":"commit your crimes? is on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.669,"endTime":1009.739,"body":"Mother's Day or is on other days"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.669,"endTime":1009.739,"body":"of the year?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.77,"endTime":1011.39,"body":"Yeah. When do you prefer other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.77,"endTime":1011.39,"body":"day?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1012.409,"endTime":1014.389,"body":"Most other days?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.45,"endTime":1018.89,"body":"Okay. That's fair. Oh. Throw the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.45,"endTime":1018.89,"body":"police off your trail."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1018.919,"endTime":1025.339,"body":"I still have the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1018.919,"endTime":1025.339,"body":"hiccups. I'm your dad and I of"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1025.339,"endTime":1028.129,"body":"course, dopes voters."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.869,"endTime":1033.019,"body":"Say it like that. Say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.869,"endTime":1033.019,"body":"it proud and say it out loud."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.019,"endTime":1035.269,"body":"It's illegal most places"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.019,"endTime":1035.269,"body":"nowadays. Yeah. And everyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.269,"endTime":1035.779,"body":"knows what"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1035.779,"endTime":1039.769,"body":"it is. It's here and"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1035.779,"endTime":1039.769,"body":"in Arizona. Oh, yeah. But we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1039.769,"endTime":1042.709,"body":"would go into the bathroom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.98,"endTime":1047.09,"body":"When I was young,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1045.98,"endTime":1047.09,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.98,"endTime":1049.91,"body":"Yesterday,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1051.26,"endTime":1054.26,"body":"and we still"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1051.26,"endTime":1054.26,"body":"hiccuping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1054.32,"endTime":1058.61,"body":"That's okay. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1054.32,"endTime":1058.61,"body":"okay. Everyone, please forgive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.61,"endTime":1062.96,"body":"mama dog. I've been feeding her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.61,"endTime":1062.96,"body":"non stop. And this is kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.96,"endTime":1064.52,"body":"the treatment we give all of our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1062.96,"endTime":1064.52,"body":"guests."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1069.59,"endTime":1078.38,"body":"But we would go in"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1069.59,"endTime":1078.38,"body":"to the bathroom and smoke to"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1078.38,"endTime":1092.99,"body":"throw him off. And yet he was in"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1078.38,"endTime":1092.99,"body":"the basement doing this. He does"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1092.99,"endTime":1094.4,"body":"not smoke now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.49,"endTime":1098.51,"body":"I don't but it's funny"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1094.49,"endTime":1098.51,"body":"to wise. She's super right about"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1099.859,"endTime":1105.979,"body":"oh my god. The"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1099.859,"endTime":1105.979,"body":"funniest thing was when I used"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1105.979,"endTime":1110.059,"body":"to smoke Virginia slums. Okay."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1105.979,"endTime":1110.059,"body":"And they were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.14,"endTime":1111.92,"body":"super long."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.98,"endTime":1115.16,"body":"Oh, yeah. So I would smell super"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.98,"endTime":1115.16,"body":"skinny. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1115.19,"endTime":1120.65,"body":"yeah. So I would"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1115.19,"endTime":1120.65,"body":"smoke a half a one. And then so"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1120.65,"endTime":1120.89,"body":"she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.92,"endTime":1123.35,"body":"she would she would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.92,"endTime":1123.35,"body":"leave it in the garage like she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1123.35,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"would smoke a half a cigarette"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1123.35,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"in the garage and she'd leave it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.75,"endTime":1129.86,"body":"in an ashtray in the garage."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.75,"endTime":1129.86,"body":"Okay, just for context."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1131.54,"endTime":1141.17,"body":"I would go into the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1131.54,"endTime":1141.17,"body":"garage. And there was Doug and"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1141.17,"endTime":1142.25,"body":"Nick the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.72,"endTime":1146.39,"body":"TGA all your old"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.72,"endTime":1146.39,"body":"buddies"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1146.42,"endTime":1147.83,"body":"in the car."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.73,"endTime":1150.05,"body":"Hey, everybody, we are"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1151.64,"endTime":1153.38,"body":"sewers smoke, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.79,"endTime":1159.86,"body":"we're getting a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.79,"endTime":1159.86,"body":"look into Doug's past here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.07,"endTime":1163.01,"body":"He did. He does not do that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.07,"endTime":1163.01,"body":"anymore. No."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1164.81,"endTime":1165.74,"body":"I can vouch for that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1165.8,"endTime":1167.0,"body":"It was funny."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.07,"endTime":1172.52,"body":"I remember the first time you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1169.07,"endTime":1172.52,"body":"caught it was me and Adam. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1172.52,"endTime":1173.03,"body":"want to say"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1173.06,"endTime":1177.26,"body":"no The first time I"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1173.06,"endTime":1177.26,"body":"caught you was with you and"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1177.56,"endTime":1180.35,"body":"lady. Oh my god."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.889,"endTime":1183.739,"body":"Story. Yeah. nitti Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.889,"endTime":1183.739,"body":"God, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1183.74,"endTime":1184.31,"body":"don't want to go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.03,"endTime":1188.24,"body":"But long story short, we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.03,"endTime":1188.24,"body":"getting high and like, in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.24,"endTime":1190.76,"body":"basement like making out doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.24,"endTime":1190.76,"body":"weird things. And she like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.76,"endTime":1194.3,"body":"walked down in the middle of us."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.76,"endTime":1194.3,"body":"Yep, getting high. Being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.3,"endTime":1198.8,"body":"teenagers and it was so awkward."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.3,"endTime":1198.8,"body":"Oh my god. But to come back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.8,"endTime":1201.98,"body":"the story you were telling about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.8,"endTime":1201.98,"body":"in the garage, so me and my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1201.98,"endTime":1208.73,"body":"buddy Adam. We were We were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1201.98,"endTime":1208.73,"body":"literally smoking a blunt okay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.76,"endTime":1211.97,"body":"in my car parked in the garage."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.76,"endTime":1211.97,"body":"Okay, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1211.97,"endTime":1215.24,"body":"was smoke billowing in the car."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.98,"endTime":1220.25,"body":"Oh, so you guys were hotboxing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1216.98,"endTime":1220.25,"body":"Oh yeah, no we are like parked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.25,"endTime":1225.71,"body":"in the garage just boxing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.25,"endTime":1225.71,"body":"like hot box in my car. Like so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.71,"endTime":1228.65,"body":"she comes out and smokes a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.71,"endTime":1228.65,"body":"cigarette, flips the lights on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.71,"endTime":1232.85,"body":"in the garage. And we're like in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.71,"endTime":1232.85,"body":"pitch black just like smoking in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1232.85,"endTime":1234.71,"body":"my car like shooting the shit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1232.85,"endTime":1234.71,"body":"like in high"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1234.859,"endTime":1237.559,"body":"and they all look"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1234.859,"endTime":1237.559,"body":"over at me. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.56,"endTime":1239.81,"body":"hadn't we were like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.56,"endTime":1239.81,"body":"hope she didn't notice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1240.8,"endTime":1241.97,"body":"deer in the headlights."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.0,"endTime":1245.03,"body":"She didn't say a damn word"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.0,"endTime":1245.03,"body":"though. She comes out smokes a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.03,"endTime":1248.84,"body":"cigarette and goes back. Just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.03,"endTime":1248.84,"body":"like stones."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1248.9,"endTime":1249.92,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1251.24,"endTime":1252.59,"body":"Finish this now."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1253.76,"endTime":1257.72,"body":"Don't move but mom's"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1253.76,"endTime":1257.72,"body":"visions based on she'll never"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1257.72,"endTime":1258.14,"body":"see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.17,"endTime":1259.64,"body":"we were Hi. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.17,"endTime":1259.64,"body":"basically,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1259.73,"endTime":1263.39,"body":"but you and nitti"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1259.73,"endTime":1263.39,"body":"was the first time you and nitti"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1263.42,"endTime":1268.67,"body":"know we're in the basement. And"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1263.42,"endTime":1268.67,"body":"I walk down into the basement."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1269.3,"endTime":1273.77,"body":"And I see that and I just was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1269.3,"endTime":1273.77,"body":"just like"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1279.77,"endTime":1282.2,"body":"keep in mind this is an"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1279.77,"endTime":1282.2,"body":"audio show when you do the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1282.2,"endTime":1284.45,"body":"walkaway sign. They can't see"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1282.2,"endTime":1284.45,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.81,"endTime":1286.7,"body":"Sorry. But basically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1290.39,"body":"the live audience live studio"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1286.94,"endTime":1290.39,"body":"audience can absolutely see all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.39,"endTime":1294.02,"body":"of us they'll report back Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.39,"endTime":1294.02,"body":"they'll they're filming once we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.02,"endTime":1294.47,"body":"add them."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1294.95,"endTime":1297.2,"body":"Now that was the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1294.95,"endTime":1297.2,"body":"first time I"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1297.2,"endTime":1301.85,"body":"have not changed the topic"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1297.2,"endTime":1301.85,"body":"but I did remember a few days"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1301.85,"endTime":1305.39,"body":"back I posted on our socials"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1301.85,"endTime":1305.39,"body":"like because I forgot to post on"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1305.39,"endTime":1306.53,"body":"the socials. I was like, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.49,"endTime":1308.18,"body":"hey,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1309.32,"endTime":1313.01,"body":"give us a question. We'll"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1309.32,"endTime":1313.01,"body":"answer it on the podcast. I got"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1313.01,"endTime":1314.84,"body":"a few responses Did you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.869,"endTime":1319.249,"body":"yeah so From who? I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.869,"endTime":1319.249,"body":"wait before we ask these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.249,"endTime":1320.059,"body":"questions."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.33,"endTime":1326.6,"body":"I think Mike you Doug and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.33,"endTime":1326.6,"body":"should bow out of this. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.6,"endTime":1330.74,"body":"gonna be like mom wisdom Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.6,"endTime":1330.74,"body":"like I don't know what the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.74,"endTime":1333.59,"body":"questions are though. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.74,"endTime":1333.59,"body":"that's that's fine"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1333.679,"endTime":1336.529,"body":"yeah there's no such"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1333.679,"endTime":1336.529,"body":"thing as mom was there is"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1338.21,"endTime":1341.87,"body":"if you would like if you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1338.21,"endTime":1341.87,"body":"are a loved one or a hated one"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1341.9,"endTime":1345.38,"body":"would like to send us a message"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1341.9,"endTime":1345.38,"body":"on any of our socials were at"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1345.38,"endTime":1350.9,"body":"pod at everything DLUTI icon org"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1345.38,"endTime":1350.9,"body":"on our link tree comm slash duty"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1350.9,"endTime":1355.52,"body":"pod you'll find all of our links"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1350.9,"endTime":1355.52,"body":"there our first question is from"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1356.9,"endTime":1360.5,"body":"presumably Kelly kk underscore"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1356.9,"endTime":1360.5,"body":"Murphy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1360.59,"endTime":1362.66,"body":"Yeah. We do know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.73,"endTime":1367.37,"body":"the right lead you know, Kelly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.73,"endTime":1367.37,"body":"she asks,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1367.64,"endTime":1372.08,"body":"Why do you Why do you have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1367.64,"endTime":1372.08,"body":"to get your Jimmy's all rattled"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1372.11,"endTime":1377.03,"body":"over the duck tails? For those"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1372.11,"endTime":1377.03,"body":"of you that don't remember we"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1377.03,"endTime":1380.99,"body":"have the Scrooge make faac"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1377.03,"endTime":1380.99,"body":"picture posted on our sales you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1380.99,"endTime":1381.83,"body":"can find it there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.859,"endTime":1383.929,"body":"That's not even the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.859,"endTime":1383.929,"body":"whole picture just saying."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1384.83,"endTime":1390.26,"body":"So tell me boys. Why do we"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1384.83,"endTime":1390.26,"body":"get our Jimmy's off? And all"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1390.26,"endTime":1393.26,"body":"rattled over the DuckTales mama"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1390.26,"endTime":1393.26,"body":"Doug,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.26,"endTime":1394.16,"body":"would you like to chime"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.26,"endTime":1394.16,"body":"in?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1395.09,"endTime":1397.07,"body":"Well, you call me a"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1395.09,"endTime":1397.07,"body":"guy for one thing."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1398.39,"endTime":1402.44,"body":"Guys. guys and gals Get"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1398.39,"endTime":1402.44,"body":"your shit together. Mike. Why do"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1402.44,"endTime":1404.78,"body":"you get your Jimmy's off over"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1402.44,"endTime":1404.78,"body":"the duck tails?"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1405.02,"endTime":1406.43,"body":"I do not."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1406.49,"endTime":1408.56,"body":"Okay, you know what duck"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1406.49,"endTime":1408.56,"body":"tails are though. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1408.59,"endTime":1410.24,"body":"Whoo. Well, hell"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1408.59,"endTime":1410.24,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.51,"endTime":1412.31,"body":"Everybody should know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.51,"endTime":1412.31,"body":"what that is"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1412.31,"endTime":1414.08,"body":"a child who is his"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1412.31,"endTime":1414.08,"body":"son?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.14,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"I am a child who is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.14,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"song every day we're out there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.16,"endTime":1419.18,"body":"DuckTales"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.67,"endTime":1426.29,"body":"I Oh, God. We never posted the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.67,"endTime":1426.29,"body":"whole video. No, we did. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.13,"endTime":1428.51,"body":"we're sitting on something."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.13,"endTime":1428.51,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1428.51,"endTime":1430.04,"body":"we're golden my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1430.43,"endTime":1433.88,"body":"fucking explode it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1430.43,"endTime":1433.88,"body":"I think Kelly's gonna be very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1433.88,"endTime":1434.33,"body":"upset with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1436.79,"endTime":1437.78,"body":"the response"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.68,"endTime":1441.02,"body":"perfect answers to post the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.68,"endTime":1441.02,"body":"video."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1441.77,"endTime":1446.06,"body":"Well, yeah, it's gonna be"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1441.77,"endTime":1446.06,"body":"on our Instagram now. Also on"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1446.06,"endTime":1451.34,"body":"Instagram fuckit bucket asked"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1446.06,"endTime":1451.34,"body":"put the hole in my apartment"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1451.34,"endTime":1451.85,"body":"wall."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.98,"endTime":1456.23,"body":"So for all of you who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.98,"endTime":1456.23,"body":"don't know who fucking bucket"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1456.23,"endTime":1461.36,"body":"is. That is my roommate Ryan."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1456.23,"endTime":1461.36,"body":"He's a piece of shit. Not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1461.36,"endTime":1463.01,"body":"according to the story though."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1463.22,"endTime":1464.18,"body":"Well, no, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.18,"endTime":1467.21,"body":"story makes him look like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.18,"endTime":1467.21,"body":"saint. Luke's meal"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1467.42,"endTime":1469.13,"body":"giant house want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.13,"endTime":1471.17,"body":"to context clues? Yes."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1475.22,"endTime":1477.62,"body":"You have a story to tell."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1475.22,"endTime":1477.62,"body":"Yeah, who put the fucking hole"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1477.62,"endTime":1478.97,"body":"in his apartment wall. Doug."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.24,"endTime":1481.79,"body":"You guys want a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.24,"endTime":1481.79,"body":"story? All right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.82,"endTime":1482.48,"body":"Oh, guys."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.53,"endTime":1486.23,"body":"Drink this whiskey while you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1483.53,"endTime":1486.23,"body":"that. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.41,"endTime":1490.7,"body":"before we had the idea for this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.41,"endTime":1490.7,"body":"podcast, me and me and Jason"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.7,"endTime":1495.02,"body":"decided that we were going to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.7,"endTime":1495.02,"body":"what we call a 72 hour board"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1495.02,"endTime":1496.76,"body":"game extravaganza. My"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1496.76,"endTime":1499.67,"body":"God Allah God did"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1496.76,"endTime":1499.67,"body":"you really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1504.11,"body":"No, actually, it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1504.11,"body":"like 12 hours 12"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1505.22,"endTime":1506.81,"body":"to 12 hours."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1506.9,"endTime":1510.68,"body":"I mean, that's"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1506.9,"endTime":1510.68,"body":"that's pretty short for us. So"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1510.68,"endTime":1514.37,"body":"long story short, the weekend"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1510.68,"endTime":1514.37,"body":"did not go as planned. But we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1514.37,"endTime":1517.58,"body":"did get together one of the days"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1514.37,"endTime":1517.58,"body":"I think it was a Saturday, we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1517.58,"endTime":1521.51,"body":"played some board games. And"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1517.58,"endTime":1521.51,"body":"then we did what we would call"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1521.51,"endTime":1527.54,"body":"the hot wing challenge. Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1521.51,"endTime":1527.54,"body":"don't ever do that. So I have a"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1527.54,"endTime":1531.71,"body":"bunch of the hot ones hot wing"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1527.54,"endTime":1531.71,"body":"sauces. And then I have a bunch"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1531.71,"endTime":1534.8,"body":"of other ones that have just"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1531.71,"endTime":1534.8,"body":"bought through the time. So"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1534.8,"endTime":1538.37,"body":"we've made a bunch of wings and"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1534.8,"endTime":1538.37,"body":"fucking slathered that shit up"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1538.37,"endTime":1541.04,"body":"and went from the you know, the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1538.37,"endTime":1541.04,"body":"least hot to the most hot if"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1541.04,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"ever any of you have had a sauce"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1541.04,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"called duck bomb."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.66,"endTime":1546.17,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.44,"endTime":1548.09,"body":"don't do it. No, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.09,"endTime":1549.8,"body":"great. Actually, it tastes very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.09,"endTime":1549.8,"body":"good."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1549.83,"endTime":1550.55,"body":"It's fantastic."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1551.51,"endTime":1553.79,"body":"She's fucking front door. It's"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1553.79,"endTime":1555.35,"body":"one of those episodes"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1553.79,"endTime":1555.35,"body":"maybe?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.46,"endTime":1557.9,"body":"Yeah, that's every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.46,"endTime":1557.9,"body":"episode."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1559.55,"endTime":1563.06,"body":"So to make an"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1559.55,"endTime":1563.06,"body":"incredibly long story short, we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1563.06,"endTime":1566.27,"body":"do a hoppings challenge everyone"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1563.06,"endTime":1566.27,"body":"sobers up, and then we're like,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1566.27,"endTime":1569.24,"body":"Damn, like we're all sober now."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1566.27,"endTime":1569.24,"body":"Let's drink really really hard"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1569.36,"endTime":1571.55,"body":"to make up for the fact that"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1569.36,"endTime":1571.55,"body":"we're all sober now. We're"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1571.55,"endTime":1576.74,"body":"sober. So we just fucking slam"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1571.55,"endTime":1576.74,"body":"like a handle a jack, we have"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1576.74,"endTime":1579.89,"body":"Maker's Mark. We got James like,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1576.74,"endTime":1579.89,"body":"literally, we had so much"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1579.89,"endTime":1585.05,"body":"alcohol. It was stupid. And then"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1579.89,"endTime":1585.05,"body":"morning happened morning."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.119,"endTime":1588.049,"body":"Dawn approached,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.08,"endTime":1592.46,"body":"I wake up the dawn of a new day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.08,"endTime":1592.46,"body":"being none the wiser to what had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1592.46,"endTime":1594.38,"body":"happened. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.119,"endTime":1600.979,"body":"the least knock on our door. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.119,"endTime":1600.979,"body":"yeah, so it's like 738 o'clock"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.979,"endTime":1604.909,"body":"in the morning, the fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.979,"endTime":1604.909,"body":"police knock on his door. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.909,"endTime":1608.809,"body":"our buddy Ryan wakes up goes and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.909,"endTime":1608.809,"body":"answers it and is like, Hello,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1608.809,"endTime":1610.969,"body":"whatever. This is. Yeah, um,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1611.69,"endTime":1616.76,"body":"we got reports that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1611.69,"endTime":1616.76,"body":"somebody might have gotten hurt"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1616.91,"endTime":1622.16,"body":"and might be bleeding and head"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1616.91,"endTime":1622.16,"body":"left. Like, do you guys know who"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1622.16,"endTime":1626.21,"body":"that might have been? And so at"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1622.16,"endTime":1626.21,"body":"this point, I wake up, I'm on"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1626.21,"endTime":1631.22,"body":"the couch. It's super early. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1626.21,"endTime":1631.22,"body":"I see the police talking to Ryan"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1631.25,"endTime":1634.55,"body":"I'm like, Oh, okay. I hear kind"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1631.25,"endTime":1634.55,"body":"of what they're saying. I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1634.55,"endTime":1637.16,"body":"like, Okay, this doesn't concern"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1634.55,"endTime":1637.16,"body":"me. I don't fucking live here."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1637.19,"endTime":1640.04,"body":"I'll go to the bathroom. Like"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1637.19,"endTime":1640.04,"body":"put water on my face cuz I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1640.04,"endTime":1641.9,"body":"hungover as hell. Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.5,"endTime":1646.34,"body":"Oh, come back out. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1642.5,"endTime":1646.34,"body":"police are now gone. Apparently"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.34,"endTime":1653.06,"body":"Ryan had talked them away from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.34,"endTime":1653.06,"body":"suspecting anybody the in part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1653.06,"endTime":1655.28,"body":"in the apartment. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.18,"endTime":1658.97,"body":"Well, I don't think he knew when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.18,"endTime":1658.97,"body":"he was talking to them. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.97,"endTime":1662.9,"body":"also fair. I don't think anybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.97,"endTime":1662.9,"body":"knew until I collaborated. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.349,"endTime":1667.159,"body":"we found your glasses till we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.349,"endTime":1667.159,"body":"found my glasses until we heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.159,"endTime":1672.679,"body":"the story from Kelly from when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.159,"endTime":1672.679,"body":"call Hey, it's three in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.679,"endTime":1677.239,"body":"morning it's the middle of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.679,"endTime":1677.239,"body":"winter I'm walking home now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1679.58,"endTime":1684.38,"body":"a 25 minute drive away which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1679.58,"endTime":1684.38,"body":"like a three hour walk or more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1684.71,"endTime":1686.9,"body":"yeah fucking ridiculous"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.93,"endTime":1690.53,"body":"especially there was so like let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1686.93,"endTime":1690.53,"body":"me reiterate this there was so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.56,"endTime":1694.04,"body":"much snow out like I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.56,"endTime":1694.04,"body":"like a foot and a half of snow."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1694.099,"endTime":1694.849,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1694.999,"endTime":1696.409,"body":"well y'all got too drunk."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.439,"endTime":1699.589,"body":"I didn't give a fuck"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.439,"endTime":1699.589,"body":"no, we went hard and we had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.589,"endTime":1704.629,"body":"good time but hard but so the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.589,"endTime":1704.629,"body":"reason for all of this drama"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.629,"endTime":1708.949,"body":"with the police and Kelly and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.629,"endTime":1708.949,"body":"everyone like talking about like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.949,"endTime":1712.009,"body":"what the fuck is happening is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.949,"endTime":1712.009,"body":"because you're hitting your head"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1712.009,"endTime":1712.399,"body":"into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1712.4,"endTime":1713.0,"body":"the wall"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1713.03,"endTime":1718.13,"body":"there was a hole"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1713.03,"endTime":1718.13,"body":"through the fucking drywall. I"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1718.13,"endTime":1721.1,"body":"guess the stucco. I don't know"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1718.13,"endTime":1721.1,"body":"what it is. It's like that"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1721.1,"endTime":1725.33,"body":"popcorn. Yeah, is this no"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1721.1,"endTime":1725.33,"body":"bullshit. There's a whole pretty"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1725.33,"endTime":1728.72,"body":"much directly through from the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1725.33,"endTime":1728.72,"body":"inside to the outside."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1729.68,"endTime":1733.88,"body":"splattered with blood there's"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1729.68,"endTime":1733.88,"body":"bloody handprints around it just"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1733.91,"endTime":1738.95,"body":"it looks up there's blood down"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1733.91,"endTime":1738.95,"body":"the hallway there's blood down"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1738.95,"endTime":1743.6,"body":"the stairs like I can't was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1738.95,"endTime":1743.6,"body":"everywhere. I try not understate"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1743.63,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"enough. I can't overstate"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1743.63,"endTime":1747.65,"body":"enough. How much blood the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1753.47,"body":"company this fucking injury. So"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1753.47,"body":"apparently what happened was we"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1753.47,"endTime":1758.42,"body":"were winding our night down."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1753.47,"endTime":1758.42,"body":"Hard night. Yes. Heavy fucking"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1758.42,"endTime":1762.14,"body":"air quotes because this was not"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1758.42,"endTime":1762.14,"body":"a way to wind down. I'll tell"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1762.14,"endTime":1766.73,"body":"you guys how we ended the night."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1762.14,"endTime":1766.73,"body":"We played the same Slipknot song"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1766.76,"endTime":1770.51,"body":"about 16 times we've done that"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1766.76,"endTime":1770.51,"body":"before I kept asking him what"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1770.51,"endTime":1775.4,"body":"his favorite song was and I'd"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1770.51,"endTime":1775.4,"body":"forget directly after. So I kept"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1775.4,"endTime":1779.42,"body":"playing it. So after that I go"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1775.4,"endTime":1779.42,"body":"fuck Finley has to go outside."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1780.68,"endTime":1784.52,"body":"So we take I take him outside."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1780.68,"endTime":1784.52,"body":"I'm walking out the door. I'm"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1784.52,"endTime":1787.13,"body":"like, Okay, I've got this. I've"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1784.52,"endTime":1787.13,"body":"got that I'm making sure I have"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1787.13,"endTime":1790.64,"body":"a bag for him and he sees"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1787.13,"endTime":1790.64,"body":"something that he likes, which"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1790.64,"endTime":1794.93,"body":"means he spreads down the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1790.64,"endTime":1794.93,"body":"stairs. I'm attached to the dog."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1795.59,"endTime":1799.97,"body":"And this is a big ass dog like a"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1795.59,"endTime":1799.97,"body":"very large dog. It's an 86 pound"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1805.31,"body":"dog who is sprinting full force"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1800.0,"endTime":1805.31,"body":"towards the stairs? And my drunk"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1805.31,"endTime":1813.08,"body":"body goes like Oh, just relax."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1805.31,"endTime":1813.08,"body":"dog pose and I'm like, Alright,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1813.08,"endTime":1817.49,"body":"I'll relax. I go airborne. I"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1813.08,"endTime":1817.49,"body":"miss every single stare on the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1817.49,"endTime":1820.79,"body":"way down to the first landing."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1817.49,"endTime":1820.79,"body":"My face goes through the goddamn"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1820.79,"endTime":1827.12,"body":"wall. I broke my fucking nose"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1820.79,"endTime":1827.12,"body":"doing it. Blood. Everywhere was"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1827.12,"endTime":1827.48,"body":"the day."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1828.05,"endTime":1831.41,"body":"Not the first time that"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1828.05,"endTime":1831.41,"body":"you fell down an entire flight"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1831.41,"endTime":1831.98,"body":"of stairs."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.21,"endTime":1836.09,"body":"That's one of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.21,"endTime":1836.09,"body":"earlier memories with me somehow"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1836.12,"endTime":1838.61,"body":"didn't break anything that"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1836.12,"endTime":1838.61,"body":"time though. And you hit the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1838.61,"endTime":1839.18,"body":"wall."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.9,"endTime":1843.29,"body":"No, that's the only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.9,"endTime":1843.29,"body":"thing I hit your arch nemesis"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.29,"endTime":1848.66,"body":"the wall. But yeah, so, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.29,"endTime":1848.66,"body":"know, everybody, you know me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.66,"endTime":1849.65,"body":"look better now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.88,"endTime":1851.78,"body":"It was amazing. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.78,"endTime":1854.45,"body":"was a great night. Like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.78,"endTime":1854.45,"body":"wouldn't change anything about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.45,"endTime":1857.63,"body":"that night. I mean, I also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.45,"endTime":1857.63,"body":"wouldn't change the fact that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.63,"endTime":1859.22,"body":"didn't do anything the next day."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.31,"endTime":1866.27,"body":"No, we just want to make that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.31,"endTime":1866.27,"body":"literally fused to my couch. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.27,"endTime":1869.99,"body":"yeah, we I think we ordered like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.27,"endTime":1869.99,"body":"a whole couch. We were just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.99,"endTime":1873.98,"body":"literally like in the dark for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.99,"endTime":1873.98,"body":"like a good 20 hours. We got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.98,"endTime":1876.59,"body":"asked Hey, are you playing board"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.98,"endTime":1876.59,"body":"games? What are we playing board"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.59,"endTime":1879.89,"body":"games? Are we playing board"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.59,"endTime":1879.89,"body":"games and we're both like, Go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.13,"endTime":1881.21,"body":"fuck yourself."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1882.89,"endTime":1886.04,"body":"I said Jason's once we got"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1882.89,"endTime":1886.04,"body":"shit faced. I woke up the next"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1886.04,"endTime":1890.42,"body":"morning and was like, I need new"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1886.04,"endTime":1890.42,"body":"clothes. But I'm hung over so I"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1890.42,"endTime":1894.05,"body":"went home changed drove back to"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1890.42,"endTime":1894.05,"body":"his house to lay on his couch."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1897.05,"endTime":1901.85,"body":"couch was a couch. I have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1897.05,"endTime":1901.85,"body":"another question. This one's"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1901.85,"endTime":1902.66,"body":"from Twitter."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.93,"endTime":1904.76,"body":"Okay. Oh, mama. Doug is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.93,"endTime":1904.76,"body":"still cracking."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.44,"endTime":1909.02,"body":"She's using my ass. First off,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1909.05,"endTime":1913.22,"body":"I want I think Zack Platt"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1909.05,"endTime":1913.22,"body":"sent us a message but for the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1913.22,"endTime":1914.66,"body":"love of me. I can't find it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.78,"endTime":1917.75,"body":"Maybe he heard my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.78,"endTime":1917.75,"body":"message and he's now secretly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1917.75,"endTime":1918.83,"body":"communicating with you."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1918.89,"endTime":1921.26,"body":"Maybe No, I can't find"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1918.89,"endTime":1921.26,"body":"anything exact but I could have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1921.26,"endTime":1923.03,"body":"sworn when I posted this I saw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.06,"endTime":1928.55,"body":"must warn so make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.06,"endTime":1928.55,"body":"something up that he did. But"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1928.73,"endTime":1933.2,"body":"can I have another one?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1928.73,"endTime":1933.2,"body":"But okay, so Zack in my mind"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1933.2,"endTime":1934.7,"body":"asked Jason."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.05,"endTime":1937.07,"body":"Do you How do"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1939.26,"endTime":1940.85,"body":"four and a half. All"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1939.26,"endTime":1940.85,"body":"right, great."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1941.39,"endTime":1942.17,"body":"Thank you Zack."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1942.8,"endTime":1943.16,"body":"Nice."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1943.46,"endTime":1945.71,"body":"No, Zack I apologize if"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1943.46,"endTime":1945.71,"body":"you did send something to me and"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1945.71,"endTime":1948.71,"body":"I lost it because I could have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1945.71,"endTime":1948.71,"body":"sworn I saw your name but"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1948.71,"endTime":1954.59,"body":"whatever. Anyway, on Twitter we"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1948.71,"endTime":1954.59,"body":"have at 80x Smart Okay, is there"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1954.59,"endTime":1956.96,"body":"a vortex we don't know about"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1954.59,"endTime":1956.96,"body":"yet."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.68,"endTime":1960.5,"body":"Mama dog I think might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.68,"endTime":1960.5,"body":"have the answer this"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":1960.92,"endTime":1962.03,"body":"of a vortex."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1962.06,"endTime":1964.43,"body":"Is there a vortex? We"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":1962.06,"endTime":1964.43,"body":"don't know about yet."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.79,"endTime":1966.98,"body":"Oh, yeah. We're We're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.48,"endTime":1974.78,"body":"in maava john. Oh. He's so nice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.13,"endTime":1977.36,"body":"To throw up a bunch of air horns"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1979.28,"endTime":1981.47,"body":"on the air horn Simon. I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.93,"endTime":1988.16,"body":"have to apologize to me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1988.19,"endTime":1989.0,"body":"also. No"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.0,"endTime":1989.72,"body":"you're not."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.859,"endTime":1993.829,"body":"No, you're not. Why do you think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1990.859,"endTime":1993.829,"body":"I have the humor I have."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.18,"endTime":2001.18,"body":"You gave him now or humor. Here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.18,"endTime":2001.18,"body":"He has my What do you think?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2001.359,"endTime":2003.789,"body":"Are there any vortexes?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2001.359,"endTime":2003.789,"body":"Are there any vortexes? We don't"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2003.789,"endTime":2004.329,"body":"know about?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.39,"endTime":2007.57,"body":"Yeah, absolutely. Okay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.39,"endTime":2007.57,"body":"Yeah, do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.57,"endTime":2009.49,"body":"you know random Nautica? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2010.869,"endTime":2012.879,"body":"time is it your vagina?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2014.08,"endTime":2018.67,"body":"My vagina is off limits"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2014.08,"endTime":2018.67,"body":"to most people. There's there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2018.67,"endTime":2019.54,"body":"three exceptions."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.57,"endTime":2020.14,"body":"Why?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2020.74,"endTime":2025.42,"body":"I'm not going over that right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2020.74,"endTime":2025.42,"body":"now. Drew Carey No, these things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.45,"endTime":2030.07,"body":"they get to learn very, very,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.45,"endTime":2030.07,"body":"very slowly. I will slowly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.07,"endTime":2032.95,"body":"divulge more and more about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.07,"endTime":2032.95,"body":"myself here that tells everyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.98,"endTime":2037.12,"body":"what our anus sizes. Yeah. Once"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.98,"endTime":2037.12,"body":"that once everyone knows that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.12,"endTime":2040.93,"body":"Doug and I had the same penis"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.12,"endTime":2040.93,"body":"and sphincter sizes. I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2040.93,"endTime":2042.73,"body":"that's as personal as we need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2040.93,"endTime":2042.73,"body":"get."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2044.98,"endTime":2045.52,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2046.0,"endTime":2048.88,"body":"I don't want those are the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2046.0,"endTime":2048.88,"body":"three people that are allowed in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2048.88,"endTime":2049.78,"body":"his Virgina?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2051.099,"endTime":2052.809,"body":"cobia is it Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2052.96,"endTime":2057.34,"body":"so real quick, I have to go back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2052.96,"endTime":2057.34,"body":"to the question that Zack may or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2057.34,"endTime":2060.34,"body":"may not have asked because I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2057.34,"endTime":2060.34,"body":"looking for this while you were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.34,"endTime":2062.47,"body":"asking it because this is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.34,"endTime":2062.47,"body":"perfect response to it"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2062.469,"endTime":2065.589,"body":"but what was the question?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2062.469,"endTime":2065.589,"body":"I don't remember."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2065.8,"endTime":2067.78,"body":"But this and this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2065.8,"endTime":2067.78,"body":"answers it pretty well."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2067.93,"endTime":2069.37,"body":"Do you How do that was?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2067.93,"endTime":2069.37,"body":"Yes. Do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.37,"endTime":2073.57,"body":"you How do So has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.37,"endTime":2073.57,"body":"anyone really been far even as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.57,"endTime":2077.71,"body":"decided to use even go want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.57,"endTime":2077.71,"body":"do like more like you've got to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2077.71,"endTime":2081.34,"body":"be kidding me? I've been further"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2077.71,"endTime":2081.34,"body":"even more decided to use even go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2081.34,"endTime":2085.81,"body":"need to do look more as anyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2081.34,"endTime":2085.81,"body":"can? Can you really be far even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2085.81,"endTime":2086.77,"body":"as decided half as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2086.77,"endTime":2089.05,"body":"much to use go wish for that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2086.77,"endTime":2089.05,"body":"book."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2089.08,"endTime":2092.08,"body":"My guess is that when one really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2089.08,"endTime":2092.08,"body":"been far even as decided wants"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2092.08,"endTime":2097.09,"body":"to use even go want it is then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2092.08,"endTime":2097.09,"body":"that he has really been far even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2097.09,"endTime":2100.66,"body":"as decided to even go want to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2097.09,"endTime":2100.66,"body":"look more like It's just common"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.66,"endTime":2101.02,"body":"sense."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.23,"endTime":2102.31,"body":"What the fuck"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2102.34,"endTime":2104.86,"body":"my eyes went cross eyed"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2102.34,"endTime":2104.86,"body":"For a second there I'm sorry"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2105.49,"endTime":2109.27,"body":"mama dog beat me to the punch."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2105.49,"endTime":2109.27,"body":"What the fuck? Don't worry about"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2109.27,"endTime":2113.14,"body":"it. No, no, you know no that's"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2109.27,"endTime":2113.14,"body":"not a stroke you're having no"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2113.14,"endTime":2115.72,"body":"that's just those are words"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2113.14,"endTime":2115.72,"body":"using doublespeak"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.75,"endTime":2118.12,"body":"so I'm pretty sure it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.75,"endTime":2118.12,"body":"a stroke"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2120.16,"endTime":2128.11,"body":"don't drive all i know i"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2120.16,"endTime":2128.11,"body":"know about a vortex it's called"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2128.14,"endTime":2134.08,"body":"the spaghetti one is the vortex"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2128.14,"endTime":2134.08,"body":"of spaghetti."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2134.319,"endTime":2139.149,"body":"Are you talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2134.319,"endTime":2139.149,"body":"the vertices? Are the vertex"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.149,"endTime":2142.089,"body":"shield vertice knows the link"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2139.149,"endTime":2142.089,"body":"weenies Oh, you're having that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.089,"endTime":2146.109,"body":"spaghetti. Cool. I just said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.089,"endTime":2146.109,"body":"that. We're talking about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2146.109,"endTime":2147.819,"body":"Flying Spaghetti Monster? Yes."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2147.97,"endTime":2149.08,"body":"A pasta Faria."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.85,"endTime":2154.18,"body":"Oh my god pasta fart"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.85,"endTime":2154.18,"body":"dude, we had a fucking problem"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.18,"endTime":2157.87,"body":"with pastafarians when I used to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.18,"endTime":2157.87,"body":"live in Cayman, they would steal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.87,"endTime":2163.33,"body":"our cereal spoons. Like all for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.87,"endTime":2163.33,"body":"whatever reason that size spoon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2163.33,"endTime":2166.06,"body":"was fantastic. I'm really trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2163.33,"endTime":2166.06,"body":"to determine if this is a real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2166.06,"endTime":2166.75,"body":"story. No,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2166.75,"endTime":2167.5,"body":"I'm serious."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2167.529,"endTime":2168.459,"body":"I mean, he is from the"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2167.529,"endTime":2168.459,"body":"cane."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.489,"endTime":2171.099,"body":"I am serious. Yeah, one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.489,"endTime":2171.099,"body":"of the things are from being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.099,"endTime":2174.849,"body":"very very young. Are my parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.099,"endTime":2174.849,"body":"trying their damnedest to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2174.849,"endTime":2180.159,"body":"explain away some weird"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2174.849,"endTime":2180.159,"body":"pastafarian dude sneaking into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2180.159,"endTime":2181.899,"body":"our house and stealing our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2180.159,"endTime":2181.899,"body":"silverware"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2181.93,"endTime":2185.08,"body":"if you ever want to know"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2181.93,"endTime":2185.08,"body":"about my part of my childhood if"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2185.08,"endTime":2187.57,"body":"you ever want to know about"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2185.08,"endTime":2187.57,"body":"probably like the most"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2187.57,"endTime":2188.26,"body":"unfortunate"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2188.89,"endTime":2190.66,"body":"of your silverware"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2188.89,"endTime":2190.66,"body":"now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2190.779,"endTime":2193.359,"body":"no locks it up every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2190.779,"endTime":2193.359,"body":"very liberal with it"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2194.59,"endTime":2196.84,"body":"means it can have if you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2194.59,"endTime":2196.84,"body":"want to know about the most"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2196.84,"endTime":2200.02,"body":"unfortunate soul think of a"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2196.84,"endTime":2200.02,"body":"child who was born and raised in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2200.02,"endTime":2202.87,"body":"the Caymans and then had to live"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2200.02,"endTime":2202.87,"body":"the rest of his life in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2202.87,"endTime":2204.49,"body":"Illinois. Yeah, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2204.49,"endTime":2205.15,"body":"god."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.82,"endTime":2211.84,"body":"The Amish years god damn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.82,"endTime":2211.84,"body":"paradise now I live in"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2211.87,"endTime":2213.22,"body":"Jehovah's Witnesses"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2211.87,"endTime":2213.22,"body":"knocking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2213.22,"endTime":2213.73,"body":"on your door."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2216.31,"endTime":2218.77,"body":"Oh, no solicitation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2220.81,"endTime":2226.63,"body":"So I do just want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2220.81,"endTime":2226.63,"body":"share my first time meeting my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2226.63,"endTime":2228.79,"body":"my dog because Doug and I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2226.63,"endTime":2228.79,"body":"known each other for a while."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.06,"endTime":2231.91,"body":"Mike and I have known each other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.06,"endTime":2231.91,"body":"for a long fucking time as well."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2231.94,"endTime":2236.14,"body":"A decade now. Yeah, almost a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2231.94,"endTime":2236.14,"body":"fucking decade. Yeah. Um, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2236.14,"endTime":2240.88,"body":"will never ever, ever forget one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2236.14,"endTime":2240.88,"body":"of the times that mama dog"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2241.54,"endTime":2248.8,"body":"doodles. We all hung out. We got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2241.54,"endTime":2248.8,"body":"super drunk. And we had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2248.8,"endTime":2254.98,"body":"fantastic time. Mama dog"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2248.8,"endTime":2254.98,"body":"expressed her desire to learn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.98,"endTime":2259.36,"body":"how to play Dungeons and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.98,"endTime":2259.36,"body":"Dragons. She shared it and now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2259.36,"endTime":2265.03,"body":"she's a level 40 Dungeon Master?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2259.36,"endTime":2265.03,"body":"I can't I can't beat it. No. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2265.03,"endTime":2267.88,"body":"she expressed the desire to play"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2265.03,"endTime":2267.88,"body":"and Doug and I were like, Well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.88,"endTime":2271.81,"body":"fuck it. We had just come off of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.88,"endTime":2271.81,"body":"playing what he was either call"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.81,"endTime":2274.66,"body":"Cthulhu or dungeons? Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.81,"endTime":2274.66,"body":"was like some it was some random"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2274.66,"endTime":2278.2,"body":"campaign. Yeah. may have been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2274.66,"endTime":2278.2,"body":"one. Robbie was probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2279.94,"body":"but either way. Yeah, we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2279.94,"body":"playing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.0,"endTime":2283.21,"body":"she she was living with me at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.0,"endTime":2283.21,"body":"this point. And yeah, she'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2283.36,"endTime":2286.45,"body":"heard us talking and like doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2283.36,"endTime":2286.45,"body":"the d\u0026d stuff every once in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2286.45,"endTime":2287.14,"body":"while much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2287.14,"endTime":2288.4,"body":"fun. It's so much"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2288.4,"endTime":2295.45,"body":"fun. So we decided say"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2288.4,"endTime":2295.45,"body":"okay, yes, I will dm if Doug"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2295.45,"endTime":2300.31,"body":"takes mama dog to the kitchen"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2295.45,"endTime":2300.31,"body":"and designs a character explains"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2300.31,"endTime":2303.61,"body":"how it works. And I'm sitting in"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2300.31,"endTime":2303.61,"body":"in the fucking living room."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2304.15,"endTime":2306.91,"body":"Drawing the map out like okay,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2304.15,"endTime":2306.91,"body":"yeah, this is where this is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2306.91,"endTime":2310.54,"body":"gonna be. This is where that's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2306.91,"endTime":2310.54,"body":"gonna be. I get done. I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2310.72,"endTime":2311.77,"body":"oh my god. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2311.77,"endTime":2312.28,"body":"done."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.31,"endTime":2314.83,"body":"Like, we can play this. I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.31,"endTime":2314.83,"body":"all the maps. We don't have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2314.83,"endTime":2321.43,"body":"stall. Let's fucking go and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2314.83,"endTime":2321.43,"body":"looks at me and goes, my mom's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.43,"endTime":2322.03,"body":"going to bed."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2325.06,"endTime":2326.89,"body":"She drunk. She goes to bed."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.18,"endTime":2331.54,"body":"But she built the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.18,"endTime":2331.54,"body":"character. She built the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.54,"endTime":2333.49,"body":"character and she built the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.54,"endTime":2333.49,"body":"whole fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.53,"endTime":2336.07,"body":"fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2337.81,"endTime":2340.42,"body":"serious my man. Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2340.42,"endTime":2341.8,"body":"going to bed. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.08,"endTime":2351.25,"body":"330 in the morning. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.08,"endTime":2351.25,"body":"appreciate we absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2351.25,"endTime":2356.41,"body":"appreciate the enthusiasm and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2351.25,"endTime":2356.41,"body":"the like, let's fucking do this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.44,"endTime":2358.51,"body":"Like you've always been that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.44,"endTime":2358.51,"body":"way."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2358.6,"endTime":2359.71,"body":"I love you guys."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2359.74,"endTime":2360.37,"body":"We love you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2361.09,"endTime":2364.36,"body":"Love you to everyone. Hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2361.09,"endTime":2364.36,"body":"everybody say it back ready?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2364.36,"endTime":2368.17,"body":"1230"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2368.68,"endTime":2372.85,"body":"the audience sorry, all of"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2368.68,"endTime":2372.85,"body":"us. I want everyone out 3123"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2372.88,"endTime":2374.38,"body":"We love you know a dog."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2374.74,"endTime":2376.18,"body":"You guys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2379.42,"endTime":2382.0,"body":"this is a fucking This is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2379.42,"endTime":2382.0,"body":"short episode. It was"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2382.0,"endTime":2386.02,"body":"a shorty but a goodie."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2382.0,"endTime":2386.02,"body":"Mama Mama doggy. Do you have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2386.08,"endTime":2388.3,"body":"anything you want to say to"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2386.08,"endTime":2388.3,"body":"people?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.42,"endTime":2391.27,"body":"This is your time to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.42,"endTime":2391.27,"body":"impart any kind of wisdom that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2391.27,"endTime":2393.97,"body":"you might have for anyone that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2391.27,"endTime":2393.97,"body":"wants to hear you. She's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.97,"endTime":2397.99,"body":"anything like me. She's gonna be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2393.97,"endTime":2397.99,"body":"like, nope. Fuck your pillow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2397.99,"endTime":2406.66,"body":"with a condom. Like No. She"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2397.99,"endTime":2406.66,"body":"raised me. Well, I'm not letting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2406.66,"endTime":2407.32,"body":"her off the hook. Are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.32,"endTime":2412.48,"body":"you kidding me? No, no, you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.32,"endTime":2412.48,"body":"to leave us with one nugget of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2412.48,"endTime":2413.11,"body":"wisdom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2413.92,"endTime":2414.64,"body":"Did you just have"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2419.14,"endTime":2422.89,"body":"a better way? Wow,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2422.92,"endTime":2424.06,"body":"how can we even talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.08,"endTime":2428.38,"body":"to people? now know what your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.08,"endTime":2428.38,"body":"orgasm face looks like?"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2430.36,"endTime":2432.28,"body":"She didn't know that."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2430.36,"endTime":2432.28,"body":"Ladies gentlemen."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2433.15,"endTime":2435.76,"body":"are sweet. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2433.15,"endTime":2435.76,"body":"just like BAM like"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2437.41,"endTime":2439.15,"body":"calm slash galouti pod."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.94,"endTime":2445.15,"body":"I love her. That makes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.94,"endTime":2445.15,"body":"so much sense. Thank"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2445.15,"endTime":2448.63,"body":"you for listening. Thank"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2445.15,"endTime":2448.63,"body":"you for being mom."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.98,"endTime":2451.9,"body":"We can't talk yet at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.98,"endTime":2451.9,"body":"this point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.93,"endTime":2455.68,"body":"goes goes say tell your mom that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.93,"endTime":2455.68,"body":"you love her. Tell your mother"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2455.68,"endTime":2458.95,"body":"that you will always be there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2455.68,"endTime":2458.95,"body":"for her. But most importantly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.22,"endTime":2463.57,"body":"Mama dog. Give us one piece of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.22,"endTime":2463.57,"body":"advice that you would give any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2463.57,"endTime":2464.56,"body":"child in the world."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2465.82,"endTime":2467.8,"body":"You like don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2468.1,"endTime":2470.23,"body":"suck all the caterpillar sticks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2468.1,"endTime":2470.23,"body":"or"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2471.52,"endTime":2476.8,"body":"you can't spoil a"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2471.52,"endTime":2476.8,"body":"child. You really can't spoil"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2476.8,"endTime":2477.55,"body":"the child."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2477.64,"endTime":2480.67,"body":"Then you get a dog. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2477.64,"endTime":2480.67,"body":"you pompous ass."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2482.98,"endTime":2484.3,"body":"Well, a dog."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.87,"endTime":2487.87,"body":"Yeah, that's good. No, I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.87,"endTime":2487.87,"body":"vouch for all that your cats."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2487.87,"endTime":2488.08,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2489.1,"endTime":2495.25,"body":"This boy is the"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2489.1,"endTime":2495.25,"body":"best. I love this man."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2495.79,"endTime":2496.75,"body":"Fantastic."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2496.84,"endTime":2499.0,"body":"Audience just odd. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2499.03,"endTime":2505.69,"body":"yeah. But I can't I"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2499.03,"endTime":2505.69,"body":"can't give up. She could spoil"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2505.69,"endTime":2509.14,"body":"me. But I did all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2505.69,"endTime":2509.14,"body":"weekend. I did not let her pay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2509.14,"endTime":2515.65,"body":"for like a damn. That's not he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2509.14,"endTime":2515.65,"body":"paid me. He might she had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2515.65,"endTime":2517.0,"body":"sneak that shit in."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2517.06,"endTime":2518.35,"body":"I can't tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2518.35,"endTime":2521.98,"body":"if Doug is like trying to buy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2518.35,"endTime":2521.98,"body":"brownie points."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2524.08,"endTime":2526.39,"body":"Now, aren't we all? Hey,"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2527.86,"endTime":2533.95,"body":"you wonder how you can"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2527.86,"endTime":2533.95,"body":"earn brownie? points@pod.com"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2533.95,"endTime":2537.82,"body":"slash deluded pi patreon.com"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2533.95,"endTime":2537.82,"body":"slash blue pod youtube.com."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2537.82,"endTime":2541.27,"body":"Slash delete everything. Are you"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2537.82,"endTime":2541.27,"body":"gonna make my econ brownie"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2541.27,"endTime":2543.52,"body":"point tier? Sure, Mike."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2545.98,"endTime":2552.94,"body":"No, Doug has been"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2545.98,"endTime":2552.94,"body":"like insanely paying for"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2553.06,"endTime":2554.74,"body":"everything this weekend."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2554.77,"endTime":2557.32,"body":"I literally would not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2554.77,"endTime":2557.32,"body":"look like anything. That's good."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2557.32,"endTime":2559.39,"body":"Oh, my gosh, she wants to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2557.32,"endTime":2559.39,"body":"fucking pay for everything. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2559.39,"endTime":2559.99,"body":"like, no."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2562.87,"endTime":2565.24,"body":"That's my that's my."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2562.87,"endTime":2565.24,"body":"But now he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2565.24,"endTime":2568.99,"body":"can pay for you. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2565.24,"endTime":2568.99,"body":"just you just you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2568.99,"endTime":2573.01,"body":"literally hit threshold, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2568.99,"endTime":2573.01,"body":"means no, you found that point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2573.01,"endTime":2580.18,"body":"in time where the money flow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2573.01,"endTime":2580.18,"body":"goes from your account. And now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2580.21,"endTime":2584.08,"body":"Doug is like, No, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2580.21,"endTime":2584.08,"body":"spend all of my money on you."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2584.11,"endTime":2585.82,"body":"And I don't know how"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2584.11,"endTime":2585.82,"body":"to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2589.03,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"you. Yes. And make it a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2589.03,"endTime":2591.1,"body":"double"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2591.31,"endTime":2592.18,"body":"is what you do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2592.69,"endTime":2596.53,"body":"Like buying alcohol the first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2592.69,"endTime":2596.53,"body":"day she got here and she's like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2596.53,"endTime":2598.42,"body":"Well, I was gonna pay for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2596.53,"endTime":2598.42,"body":"everyone's alcohol. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2598.42,"endTime":2601.42,"body":"like, No, like, I'm gonna pay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2598.42,"endTime":2601.42,"body":"for the alcohol. Like, Isn't it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2601.42,"endTime":2602.02,"body":"weird?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2602.53,"endTime":2605.86,"body":"Get over? Well, yeah. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2605.86,"endTime":2608.14,"body":"know who you have to thank for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2605.86,"endTime":2608.14,"body":"that alcohol."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2608.32,"endTime":2609.49,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2612.34,"endTime":2613.06,"body":"God, no,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.48,"endTime":2617.41,"body":"absolutely not. No, it's our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.48,"endTime":2617.41,"body":"it's our fucking supporters."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2617.47,"endTime":2617.98,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2618.1,"endTime":2620.98,"body":"our supporters are actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2618.1,"endTime":2620.98,"body":"listened to what we are talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2620.98,"endTime":2625.42,"body":"about right now. They are the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2620.98,"endTime":2625.42,"body":"ones that are providing for you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.42,"endTime":2630.97,"body":"Mama dog, to be here to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.42,"endTime":2630.97,"body":"present to just have a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2630.97,"endTime":2633.88,"body":"fucking time with us. And Drew"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2630.97,"endTime":2633.88,"body":"Carey and"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2634.48,"endTime":2636.1,"body":"Kerry. Yay."},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2637.27,"endTime":2640.9,"body":"What do you guys are"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2637.27,"endTime":2640.9,"body":"whatever you guys want to say to"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2640.9,"endTime":2641.92,"body":"the beautiful people at home?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2642.19,"endTime":2644.62,"body":"I just want to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2642.19,"endTime":2644.62,"body":"thank you for letting us do this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2644.62,"endTime":2646.93,"body":"episode. It's a little different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2644.62,"endTime":2646.93,"body":"than what we normally do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2646.93,"endTime":2650.92,"body":"Obviously. We wouldn't be here"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2646.93,"endTime":2650.92,"body":"without you guys. We wanted to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2650.92,"endTime":2653.32,"body":"do something special for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2650.92,"endTime":2653.32,"body":"Mother's Day. My mom was in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2653.32,"endTime":2655.81,"body":"town, so we obviously invited"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2653.32,"endTime":2655.81,"body":"her around here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2656.44,"endTime":2657.82,"body":"fucking killed it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.98,"endTime":2662.59,"body":"We all had a great time. We're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.98,"endTime":2662.59,"body":"all a bit tipsy and drunk and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.59,"endTime":2665.26,"body":"whatever. It's fun time. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2662.59,"endTime":2665.26,"body":"seriously, thank you guys for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.26,"endTime":2669.55,"body":"letting us do this. If you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.26,"endTime":2669.55,"body":"a mom and a dad, two moms, one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2669.55,"endTime":2672.61,"body":"dad, whatever it is, wish them a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2669.55,"endTime":2672.61,"body":"happy mother's day to dads."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.61,"endTime":2675.34,"body":"Yeah, fuck it. Who cares?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.61,"endTime":2675.34,"body":"Whoever you have in your life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2675.34,"endTime":2678.13,"body":"wish them a happy mother's day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2675.34,"endTime":2678.13,"body":"and just have a good fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2678.13,"endTime":2678.82,"body":"weekend guys."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.33,"endTime":2682.69,"body":"Mike during this ordeal we go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.33,"endTime":2682.69,"body":"first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2682.72,"endTime":2684.67,"body":"You go first. Cool. That's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2682.72,"endTime":2684.67,"body":"I figured."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2685.93,"endTime":2689.65,"body":"I don't think I need to remind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2685.93,"endTime":2689.65,"body":"anybody to please"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2689.68,"endTime":2692.44,"body":"please, please do the thing."},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2693.82,"endTime":2696.13,"body":"Actually, I don't"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2693.82,"endTime":2696.13,"body":"like mama duck. Do it. What What"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2696.13,"endTime":2699.04,"body":"am I doing? You have to say,"},{"speaker":"Momma Doug","startTime":2696.13,"endTime":2699.04,"body":"Dave here nice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2699.07,"endTime":2704.53,"body":"started parent. No Stay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2699.07,"endTime":2704.53,"body":"fucking paranoid please paranoid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2704.53,"endTime":2709.0,"body":"point A slapping those bands and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2704.53,"endTime":2709.0,"body":"slapping those brains so"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2709.0,"endTime":2711.4,"body":"your mom's tooth let's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2711.46,"endTime":2712.36,"body":"go there"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2715.0,"endTime":2716.14,"body":"comm slash delete pod"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2716.8,"endTime":2719.71,"body":"check out our YouTube,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2716.8,"endTime":2719.71,"body":"Facebook Instagram Twitter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2720.4,"endTime":2725.98,"body":"linktree wherever you find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2720.4,"endTime":2725.98,"body":"podcasts look as up please get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2725.98,"endTime":2730.06,"body":"us back in the top 50 Review us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2725.98,"endTime":2730.06,"body":"on Apple pod don't look under"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2730.06,"endTime":2731.68,"body":"the fucking internet go get"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2732.25,"endTime":2735.82,"body":"us on Apple pod suck your"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2732.25,"endTime":2735.82,"body":"mom's teeth suck your das t suck"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2735.82,"endTime":2739.72,"body":"dogs to just buy a tooth for"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2735.82,"endTime":2739.72,"body":"fucksakes review how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2739.72,"endTime":2743.86,"body":"it was sucking your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2739.72,"endTime":2743.86,"body":"dad's tooth on our apple podcast"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2743.86,"endTime":2744.73,"body":"page. Boom, there"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2744.73,"endTime":2745.21,"body":"it is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2745.66,"endTime":2747.88,"body":"If you have questions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2745.66,"endTime":2747.88,"body":"about it well and you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2747.88,"endTime":2748.45,"body":"questions"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2748.45,"endTime":2750.76,"body":"go to your dentist I'm"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2748.45,"endTime":2750.76,"body":"sure he has plenty of teeth go"},{"speaker":"Mike","startTime":2750.76,"endTime":2751.45,"body":"to my crack good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2751.45,"endTime":2753.43,"body":"Orthon. org"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2756.79,"endTime":2757.21,"body":"okay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2760.15,"endTime":2762.61,"body":"with that Good night, everybody"}]}