WEBVTT 00:00:03.299 --> 00:00:11.500 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you as though something strange were happening to you. 00:00:11.500 --> 00:00:21.800 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:32.399 Well, good morning again. 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:36.865 It's good to be here together as we continue in our study of First Peter. 00:00:36.865 --> 00:00:39.365 So if you have a Bible, go ahead and turn to First Peter. 00:00:39.365 --> 00:00:42.466 If you have a church Bible, that page number will be on the screen. 00:00:42.466 --> 00:00:45.033 If you don't have a Bible, we'll have those out in the lobby. 00:00:45.033 --> 00:00:47.299 You can grab one of those at any time. 00:00:47.299 --> 00:00:48.299 Those are free for you. 00:00:48.299 --> 00:00:53.799 We want you to be able to turn into God's Word, and to be able to read from it on your own at any time. 00:00:53.799 --> 00:01:00.633 I want to give thanks to Troy Kolb, who last week shared and gave the sermon last week in our absence. 00:01:00.633 --> 00:01:01.165 We weren't here. 00:01:01.165 --> 00:01:03.232 Thank you Troy, I watched online. 00:01:03.232 --> 00:01:08.165 I thought he did a a tremendous job, and I'm so grateful that he could come and share. 00:01:12.832 --> 00:01:13.832 Julie and I were gone. 00:01:13.832 --> 00:01:16.066 We were celebrating our 25th anniversary. 00:01:16.066 --> 00:01:16.566 We were. 00:01:16.566 --> 00:01:17.799 That was back in September. 00:01:17.799 --> 00:01:20.799 But yeah. 00:01:20.965 --> 00:01:23.533 We we were able to finally get away for a week at the beach. 00:01:23.533 --> 00:01:27.766 And, my dad said this morning, why haven't you told us yet what you did during your trip? 00:01:27.766 --> 00:01:29.433 I said, there's there's nothing to share. 00:01:29.433 --> 00:01:34.465 We did a whole lot of a lot of nothing, a lot of boring days, which sometimes you just need that. 00:01:34.465 --> 00:01:37.266 You need some downtime just to connect, just to hang out. 00:01:37.266 --> 00:01:38.865 No agenda. And it was it was great. 00:01:38.865 --> 00:01:40.900 It was what we needed. 00:01:40.900 --> 00:01:44.165 But we're in first Peter today and we're in chapter three. 00:01:44.165 --> 00:01:54.599 So we've gone through chapter one, chapter two and chapter three, and we're in this section in first Peter, where the big theme of First Peter is finding joy in suffering. 00:01:54.599 --> 00:01:57.665 You saw that on the screen, finding joy in suffering. 00:01:58.965 --> 00:02:08.932 But we're in this section where he has been talking about how do you then bear up under those who are hostile toward your faith when you have no choice? 00:02:08.932 --> 00:02:16.800 If you're in some relationship where there's an authority over you who's hostile toward your faith, what do you do with that? 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:18.099 How do you deal with that? 00:02:18.099 --> 00:02:23.300 And how do you not just get through it but find joy? 00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:27.733 Actually not just survive, but also flourish? 00:02:28.566 --> 00:02:29.199 Two weeks ago. 00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:31.366 Three weeks ago, we looked at government. 00:02:31.366 --> 00:02:34.165 When you're under a government hostile to your faith. 00:02:34.165 --> 00:02:38.300 The previous message before Troy, we looked at the workplace. 00:02:38.300 --> 00:02:40.900 If you're under a boss, an employer. 00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:43.900 Now we turn to the family. 00:02:44.566 --> 00:02:45.665 What about in a marriage? 00:02:45.665 --> 00:02:47.532 This week we'll look at wives. 00:02:47.532 --> 00:02:49.332 Next week we'll look at husbands. 00:02:49.332 --> 00:02:50.800 This week in particular. 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:58.165 What if you're a wife and you're married to someone who's not a believer and is even hostile toward your faith? 00:02:58.165 --> 00:03:07.400 Although you are doing your best to honor him, to honor Christ, to follow him and all that you do, that's what we're going to look at this week in the context of the whole big picture of First Peter. 00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:11.932 So turn to chapter three, and let's just read the whole passage that we're going to study this week. 00:03:11.932 --> 00:03:13.765 We're going to look at verses one through six. 00:03:16.032 --> 00:03:18.332 Chapter three, verse one, likewise, wives. 00:03:18.332 --> 00:03:29.599 And he says likewise here, because this is keying back in to each of those sections prior to this that go all the way back to verse 13, that start with Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution. 00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:32.466 But here he says, likewise, just like in those other situations. 00:03:32.466 --> 00:03:45.599 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. 00:03:45.599 --> 00:03:51.800 When they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external. 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:56.599 The braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. 00:03:56.599 --> 00:04:09.300 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 00:04:10.300 --> 00:04:16.233 But this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. 00:04:16.233 --> 00:04:28.500 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children if you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening. 00:04:28.500 --> 00:04:48.000 Now this whole issue of how should a believing Christian woman continue to live in the relationship with a husband who's not a believer and is even hostile toward their faith, would have been very relevant to Peter's audience, to the time for a couple of different reasons. 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.966 And by the way, if you're going, that's not my situation. 00:04:50.966 --> 00:04:52.733 What is there here for me today? 00:04:52.733 --> 00:05:04.665 There are plenty of lessons to be pulled from this that can apply to all sorts of environments that you face, especially when you're in any kind of relationship where someone is hostile toward your faith. 00:05:04.665 --> 00:05:06.833 So filter it through that lens of where you are. 00:05:06.833 --> 00:05:14.833 But in Peter's time, this would have been really important, because here you have a new Christian faith coming to all parts of the world, bringing new ideas. 00:05:14.833 --> 00:05:17.932 That's going to contrast with the culture of the time. 00:05:17.932 --> 00:05:19.665 The Greek culture in particular. 00:05:21.132 --> 00:05:25.100 They held so closely to the importance of the order in the home. 00:05:25.100 --> 00:05:28.565 All of society in their minds, was built on order in the home. 00:05:28.565 --> 00:05:31.932 We saw this in the book of Esther that was in Greek society, but ancient culture. 00:05:31.932 --> 00:05:43.665 We saw where they were worried that if the Queen didn't follow what the king said, then all homes would be upended and all of society would be ruined, and we might chuckle at that in our age. 00:05:43.932 --> 00:05:46.966 But this was a core value to them at the time. 00:05:46.966 --> 00:05:50.065 The order of the home was very important. 00:05:51.165 --> 00:06:03.065 And so when Christianity came in and started to say some crazy things, like both husband and wife were made in God's image, we're going to see next week instructions to the husband. 00:06:03.065 --> 00:06:05.833 Treat her as a co-heir of life. 00:06:05.833 --> 00:06:09.865 You're going to oh, wait a second, are you trying to upend society? 00:06:09.865 --> 00:06:16.365 Are Christians really here to turn over the government, to destroy the way the world is supposed to work? 00:06:17.333 --> 00:06:22.466 These would have been concerns for a wife who's going, I'm going to follow this new faith. 00:06:22.466 --> 00:06:29.733 And in Greek culture, actually, the only choice I have is to follow whatever faith my husband has, same for my children. 00:06:29.733 --> 00:06:30.733 That's it. 00:06:30.733 --> 00:06:32.699 What are you? I'm whatever he is. 00:06:32.699 --> 00:06:35.199 That would have been the common understanding. 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:37.132 But now I'm going to follow this new faith. 00:06:37.132 --> 00:06:38.833 What does this mean? 00:06:38.833 --> 00:06:46.165 Not only does what this mean culturally and in society, but also, at the end of the day, probably the most pressing issue is the personal issue. 00:06:46.165 --> 00:06:51.165 You know, I married this man because I love him and I care about him. 00:06:51.165 --> 00:06:54.800 And now I have hope and joy and peace like never before. 00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:56.932 I want him to know that as well. 00:06:56.932 --> 00:07:01.699 I want to be with him in Paradise someday. I care deeply about him. 00:07:01.699 --> 00:07:05.432 And by the way, might he not also cast me out? 00:07:05.632 --> 00:07:07.365 What is all this going to mean? 00:07:07.365 --> 00:07:11.600 These would have been very pressing questions for the audience. 00:07:11.899 --> 00:07:13.365 What are they to do? 00:07:13.365 --> 00:07:17.699 Peter is going to give two instructions and one example. 00:07:18.699 --> 00:07:22.533 He's going to give two instructions and one example in this passage. 00:07:22.533 --> 00:07:26.533 And so let's look back at verse one and two to see this first instruction. 00:07:26.533 --> 00:07:34.966 The first instruction, in fact it will be on the screen the very first instruction was to just continue to follow Christian order for relationships. 00:07:34.966 --> 00:07:37.500 You know what Christian order for relationship is? 00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:44.333 Continue to follow that look back at verse one and two and just revisit what is written there as we unpack that idea. 00:07:44.333 --> 00:08:00.233 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 00:08:00.233 --> 00:08:15.466 I'm sure part of the question for a wife, a new Christian wife would have been okay. I knew I understand Christian teaching is is that there is an order, a biblical order to society, that God created the world, that he cares about order. 00:08:15.466 --> 00:08:17.065 He's not a God of confusion. 00:08:17.065 --> 00:08:21.432 He's a God of peace, he wants to see order carried out. 00:08:21.432 --> 00:08:24.165 But what does that mean when my husband is hostile to my faith? 00:08:24.165 --> 00:08:27.165 How am I supposed to follow that? 00:08:27.233 --> 00:08:30.865 And he says here clearly, continue to follow. 00:08:30.865 --> 00:08:38.533 Continue to submit yourself to his leadership in that culture at that time. 00:08:38.533 --> 00:08:41.533 Now, of course, there's going to be some questions about that. 00:08:41.533 --> 00:08:44.200 There's going to be some challenges with that. 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:46.066 That's going to raise some questions. 00:08:46.066 --> 00:08:53.299 The first being what it says here about his attitude, even if some do not obey the word. 00:08:54.899 --> 00:08:57.166 You mean, even if he is hostile toward my faith? 00:08:57.166 --> 00:08:57.666 Yes. 00:08:57.666 --> 00:09:04.332 In fact, that phrase, if some do not obey the word, comes from a word that sounds like our word for apathetic. 00:09:04.466 --> 00:09:05.966 But that's not what it means. 00:09:05.966 --> 00:09:10.666 Because when we think apathetic, we think like probably some of us were towards faith. 00:09:10.666 --> 00:09:15.899 Before you became a Christian, you may have just felt like, I don't really care about that stuff. 00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:16.966 I don't want to know about it. 00:09:16.966 --> 00:09:17.466 That's fine. 00:09:17.466 --> 00:09:19.033 If if that's for you, that's great. 00:09:19.033 --> 00:09:21.899 Leave me alone, I don't care. 00:09:21.899 --> 00:09:22.932 That's one approach. 00:09:22.932 --> 00:09:24.666 That would be what we would consider apathetic. 00:09:24.666 --> 00:09:32.033 But this word really at this time meant more like hostile hatred, intentional disobedience. 00:09:32.033 --> 00:09:33.432 Not just I'm not going to obey that. 00:09:33.432 --> 00:09:37.466 I'm going to go out of my way to disobey what you say is good. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:41.832 This would be the person who goes, I'm going to start the local atheist club. 00:09:41.832 --> 00:09:44.932 We I'm going to write books against Christianity. 00:09:44.932 --> 00:09:49.700 I'm going to try to convince as many people as I can how awful Christianity is. 00:09:49.700 --> 00:09:51.732 This is what some of this is hinting at. 00:09:51.732 --> 00:09:57.500 This is the guy you're telling me I'm supposed to continue to follow his direction in our marriage? 00:09:59.265 --> 00:10:01.432 Yes. 00:10:01.432 --> 00:10:02.966 Now, a couple of caveats. 00:10:02.966 --> 00:10:05.299 I mean, and by the way, women, I'm not picking on you. 00:10:05.299 --> 00:10:08.299 Next week we'll get to the men, so come back. 00:10:08.299 --> 00:10:09.666 Might be a good week. 00:10:09.666 --> 00:10:10.265 Probably not. 00:10:10.265 --> 00:10:13.166 Actually a good week to invite your husbands if they don't come regularly. 00:10:13.166 --> 00:10:15.133 But the Bible is going to address us both. 00:10:15.133 --> 00:10:17.466 And this isn't a full theology of marriage. 00:10:17.466 --> 00:10:22.566 I'm not addressing every reality of how we relate to one another in marriage. 00:10:22.566 --> 00:10:24.533 We can spend a lot of weeks doing that. 00:10:24.533 --> 00:10:30.566 This is speaking to the specific situation of a believing wife with an unbelieving husband. 00:10:30.566 --> 00:10:32.865 How do we continue to relate to one another? 00:10:32.865 --> 00:10:35.865 Couple of caveats here, though. 00:10:37.332 --> 00:10:39.299 Because this is complicated. 00:10:39.299 --> 00:10:41.365 This is hard. This isn’t easy. 00:10:42.332 --> 00:10:56.399 Christian order calls us to continue to follow your husband, but yet also recognize that there is a greater order, a higher order than him, an unbelieving husband hostile to your faith. 00:10:56.399 --> 00:11:04.466 If he's calling you to reject your faith, to disobey Christ, that's where you draw the line. 00:11:04.466 --> 00:11:06.299 Christ is above him. 00:11:06.299 --> 00:11:10.500 That is the higher order we are called to follow. 00:11:10.500 --> 00:11:12.666 If he's requiring you to sin. 00:11:12.666 --> 00:11:15.666 That's where you say, I can't do that. 00:11:15.700 --> 00:11:21.265 That's that goes against what I believe Christ has called me to do. 00:11:21.265 --> 00:11:26.066 Well, Christ, the Bible said, be subject to me in all things. No, no, no. 00:11:26.066 --> 00:11:30.865 We've got to look across all of Scripture and see there's a greater allegiance. 00:11:31.033 --> 00:11:32.200 Okay, so there's that caveat. 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:38.332 The second would be this doesn't mean that you're to become his doormat. 00:11:39.365 --> 00:11:41.666 We don't we don't believe that's biblical. 00:11:41.666 --> 00:11:51.265 In fact, if you look in verse seven what it's going to say to men next week, you need to see her as your co-heir of life, speaking to a husband who has an unbelieving wife. 00:11:51.265 --> 00:11:55.633 You still need to see her as a -- you're equal before God. 00:11:55.633 --> 00:11:56.732 You're both human. 00:11:56.732 --> 00:11:57.799 You're both his creation. 00:11:57.799 --> 00:11:59.666 You're both created in his image. 00:11:59.666 --> 00:12:01.033 You're his co-heir. 00:12:01.033 --> 00:12:02.200 You're not his doormat. 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:06.399 Being submissive, being subject doesn't mean with no value. 00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:09.432 In fact, a pretty important verse in this regard 00:12:09.432 --> 00:12:22.865 51 that says, Jesus continued in submission to his parents, and we don't think of Jesus as being lesser of a person, weaker of a person. 00:12:23.066 --> 00:12:29.466 In fact, I would say that shows great strength, he continued in submission to his parents. 00:12:29.466 --> 00:12:34.066 And of course, he's constantly saying, I must do what my father says to do. 00:12:34.133 --> 00:12:37.265 We don't view him as a weaker person. 00:12:37.265 --> 00:12:41.600 There are caveats here, but the encouragement is no. 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:44.865 You need to continue to follow his leadership. 00:12:44.865 --> 00:12:46.365 Now, he says, why? 00:12:46.365 --> 00:13:01.932 Well, you saw this here in verse two, the end of verse one, so that they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see you are respectful and pure conduct. 00:13:02.232 --> 00:13:13.633 Now we know this doesn't mean the encouragement here is if you want a strategy for how to see your non-believing husband come to Christ, it's to mainly be focused on your example. 00:13:13.633 --> 00:13:14.865 Don't get caught up. 00:13:14.865 --> 00:13:17.533 Don't turn to nagging and manipulation. 00:13:17.533 --> 00:13:19.399 I know no one here would ever do that. 00:13:19.399 --> 00:13:22.432 I know no woman present in this church would ever do that. 00:13:22.432 --> 00:13:30.000 But if you're tempted to know the scripture says no, no, no, don't turn to nagging, manipulation, guilt. 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:32.033 That's one that might get used. 00:13:32.033 --> 00:13:33.332 How dare you not come to church? 00:13:33.332 --> 00:13:34.432 Do you love me? Your children? 00:13:34.432 --> 00:13:35.000 No, no. 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:47.799 Instead, may they be won without a word by your example of your faithfulness, your love, your trust in Christ, rather than your own ability to control. 00:13:50.566 --> 00:13:55.033 Our temptation is to say, I've got to figure this out myself. 00:13:55.033 --> 00:13:59.399 I've got to use whatever tools I have to get it done. 00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:06.932 But here, may they be won without even a word by seeing your holy, righteous, loving conduct. 00:14:06.932 --> 00:14:08.399 Now, also, let me give another caveat. 00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:12.466 That doesn't mean that you never speak, that you never talk about your faith. 00:14:12.466 --> 00:14:14.166 We know that because just a few verses 00:14:14.166 --> 00:14:19.865 15, he’ll say, always be ready to give a defense for your faith when asked. 00:14:19.865 --> 00:14:21.533 You got to be ready. 00:14:21.533 --> 00:14:24.932 In fact, there's a great quote I'm going to put on the screen by Karen Jobes. 00:14:24.932 --> 00:14:29.533 She's a biblical scholar who commented on this verse in particular, and she said it this way. 00:14:29.533 --> 00:14:30.700 Go ahead and put that up on the screen. 00:14:30.700 --> 00:14:41.832 Now, wisdom is needed to discern when to evangelize with words, but the witness of one's life speaks loudly in every circumstance. 00:14:42.700 --> 00:14:47.399 We need wisdom to know when do I actually defend my faith? 00:14:47.399 --> 00:14:52.932 Evangelize with words, but my life better already be displaying it. 00:14:54.200 --> 00:15:01.200 There's a couple in the church that I asked their permission to share their story, who've experienced this, who have lived this. 00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:10.732 Jason and Emily Baumann. Emily was here working in our childcare center, helping out when we had our Celebrate Recovery for a while. 00:15:10.732 --> 00:15:24.732 Not a Christian, not going to the church, but she began to get to know some of the women who served here and her interest and faith grew and she becomes a Christian and wants to start going to church. 00:15:24.732 --> 00:15:31.000 So she says to Jason, do you mind if I go ahead and go to church, take the kids. 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:35.633 You don't have to come, but I'd like to go. 00:15:35.899 --> 00:15:38.899 And she knew he was not interested. 00:15:38.899 --> 00:15:45.066 He said, so you mean to tell me I'm going to get a whole morning to myself with no one else here? 00:15:45.066 --> 00:15:47.500 And you're asking if I'm okay with that? 00:15:47.500 --> 00:15:49.033 Yes. Sign me up. 00:15:49.033 --> 00:15:50.832 Go ahead. 00:15:50.832 --> 00:15:59.066 So she starts coming to church, bringing the kids month after month after month, year after year. 00:15:59.066 --> 00:16:01.100 And she said there were many Sundays. 00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:06.399 It was very hard to be here, sitting here by myself. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:09.500 And some of you know what that's like. 00:16:09.500 --> 00:16:12.133 You know what she felt. 00:16:12.133 --> 00:16:17.133 But Jason said she would come home on Sunday and I would see in her. 00:16:17.133 --> 00:16:19.166 I would see a joy. 00:16:19.166 --> 00:16:21.865 I would see in her a peace I didn't see before. 00:16:21.865 --> 00:16:24.566 And that was softening my heart. 00:16:25.533 --> 00:16:26.399 I didn't want to go to church. 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.700 I was enjoying my alone time. 00:16:27.700 --> 00:16:30.700 It was softening my heart. 00:16:31.865 --> 00:16:37.066 Four years of her faithfully coming to church. 00:16:37.066 --> 00:16:43.633 One Sunday, she says, you know, if you ever want to come to church with us, we'll go out to eat after. 00:16:43.633 --> 00:16:46.633 And he said, that's all I need to hear. 00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:50.700 Because I've been thinking about coming. 00:16:50.700 --> 00:16:57.732 I've been thinking, it's time for me to come see what it is that God has been doing in your life. 00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:00.566 Not nagging, not manipulating. 00:17:00.566 --> 00:17:08.900 You can be sure she wanted to, trusting that God is big enough to work in his life over time. 00:17:08.900 --> 00:17:11.400 That's the point that Peter is making here. 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:15.066 The first point he's making continue to follow his leadership. 00:17:15.066 --> 00:17:18.900 Live an example and let God work in his life. 00:17:18.900 --> 00:17:20.200 That's the first one. 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:23.299 Now the second point here comes in the next two verses. 00:17:23.299 --> 00:17:31.032 The second strategy that you should employ here in the next two verses, look down at verse three and four. 00:17:31.900 --> 00:17:33.000 What else should you do? 00:17:33.965 --> 00:17:35.066 Here's what not to do. 00:17:35.066 --> 00:17:38.165 Do not let your adorning be external. 00:17:38.665 --> 00:17:43.932 The braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. 00:17:43.932 --> 00:17:55.133 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 00:17:55.133 --> 00:17:56.566 So here we have number two. 00:17:56.566 --> 00:18:04.333 The second thing you should do in this situation is focus on character, not appearance. 00:18:04.333 --> 00:18:07.400 Focus on character, not appearance. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:13.032 Now, this doesn't mean to completely neglect appearance. 00:18:13.032 --> 00:18:18.465 He's not saying that these things braiding of hair, clothes, gold. 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:21.833 He's not saying those are inherently wrong. 00:18:21.833 --> 00:18:28.599 He's just saying they are of almost no use in comparison to the character. 00:18:28.766 --> 00:18:31.333 The growth of your heart. You. 00:18:31.333 --> 00:18:36.732 You could be named the most beautiful woman in the world by whatever magazine ten years in a row. 00:18:38.965 --> 00:18:44.833 But Proverbs says it's better to live on a corner of a roof than in the house with a nagging wife. 00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:51.066 It doesn't matter how beautiful you are if I can't stand to be around you. 00:18:51.066 --> 00:18:51.633 If. 00:18:51.633 --> 00:18:59.299 If you're always tearing me down, you see, it's not a strategy that will work. 00:18:59.532 --> 00:19:11.232 Not only does it not work, if you focus your attention on how beautiful you are and ignore character, but it's a failing strategy as well because beauty fades. 00:19:11.232 --> 00:19:17.365 It always fades for every one of us. 00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:30.833 I saw a story recently of a number of actresses for the Hallmark Channel who were suing hallmark because they felt like they were being passed over for some roles because they've gotten a little bit older. 00:19:30.833 --> 00:19:33.566 Who is shocked by that, by the way? 00:19:33.566 --> 00:19:40.865 That is all of the acting world that always happens because beauty always fades. 00:19:40.865 --> 00:19:52.266 So if that's your main strategy for keeping your husband, when now you're a Christian and he's not and you're not sure if he'll still want you, if that's your main strategy, it's not going to work. 00:19:53.500 --> 00:19:55.165 In fact, Proverbs says 00:19:55.165 --> 00:20:03.700 30, charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, beauty fades. 00:20:03.700 --> 00:20:05.266 What do you do instead? 00:20:05.266 --> 00:20:06.133 The verse ends this way. 00:20:06.133 --> 00:20:10.432 But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 00:20:11.365 --> 00:20:14.833 There's a story I heard years ago, Alan & Dolores Harden. 00:20:14.833 --> 00:20:20.032 This was a couple we met through family life when we were serving in marriage ministry. 00:20:20.032 --> 00:20:21.400 They weren't believers. 00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:25.032 As this happens with many couples, their lives grew apart. 00:20:25.032 --> 00:20:26.633 She was going down her career path. 00:20:26.633 --> 00:20:28.432 He was going down his career path. 00:20:28.432 --> 00:20:32.965 And she noticed he was starting to talk to some other women, losing interest in her. 00:20:32.965 --> 00:20:41.900 And her strategy became, what I'll do is focus on my appearance, get as beautiful as I can, and I'll also start flirting with other men. 00:20:41.900 --> 00:20:45.432 So he sees know that I am someone who is desirable. 00:20:46.465 --> 00:20:47.900 It didn't work. 00:20:47.900 --> 00:20:49.333 He didn't care. 00:20:49.333 --> 00:20:51.665 She tried to make him jealous. 00:20:51.665 --> 00:20:52.633 Fine with me. 00:20:52.633 --> 00:20:55.700 I think I have other people I'm interested in at this point. 00:20:55.700 --> 00:20:58.400 And so she's at despair. 00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:00.599 She doesn't know what to do. 00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:11.833 Somehow it ended up she started listening to Christian radio and she started to hear this teaching and programing day after day, hour after hour. 00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:17.500 And God began to work in her heart, and God began to change her. 00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:22.599 And God began to change her personality, her attitude, her approach. 00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:26.566 And what happened was he didn't notice when she tried to look better. 00:21:26.566 --> 00:21:28.900 He didn't notice when she tried to make him jealous. 00:21:28.900 --> 00:21:34.532 He noticed when he saw her character changing, she didn't react the way she used to. 00:21:34.532 --> 00:21:38.500 When he tried to push her buttons, he saw something is different inside of you. 00:21:38.500 --> 00:21:39.200 What is it? 00:21:40.232 --> 00:21:44.333 I don't these other people I'm talking to, they don't have that. What is it? 00:21:44.333 --> 00:21:46.633 I want to know that. 00:21:46.633 --> 00:21:49.900 You see, this is the point of this section. 00:21:50.299 --> 00:21:52.665 Focus on character. 00:21:52.665 --> 00:21:56.200 There's actually, at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do to change other people. 00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:58.465 You only God can change them. 00:21:58.465 --> 00:22:01.465 You can try. 00:22:01.633 --> 00:22:11.000 But one thing you can do is let him work in your life, and he might use that to bring about change in the lives of others. 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:14.566 So continue. 00:22:14.566 --> 00:22:16.099 Continue to follow his direction. 00:22:16.099 --> 00:22:17.799 Continue to follow his leadership. 00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:23.932 Not that the cost of following Christ Christ comes before him and then focus on character. 00:22:23.932 --> 00:22:24.900 Focus on the heart. 00:22:24.900 --> 00:22:27.566 Now why can he make that case? 00:22:27.566 --> 00:22:32.232 Why can Peter, in this chapter make that case that this is the approach you should take? 00:22:32.232 --> 00:22:33.633 We've seen this over and over again. 00:22:33.633 --> 00:22:34.665 Peter loves to do this. 00:22:34.665 --> 00:22:47.266 Peter loves to say, I'm going to make a point, and I'm going to show you where I got it In the Old Testament, he quotes from the Old Testament more than any other New Testament author per capita per verse that we have in this book over and over again. 00:22:47.266 --> 00:22:49.965 Here's what I said, and here's why-- look back at the Old Testament. 00:22:49.965 --> 00:22:50.900 And so here's what he says. 00:22:50.900 --> 00:22:52.766 You want to know why? Here's an example. 00:22:52.766 --> 00:22:54.865 Look at verse five and six again. 00:22:54.865 --> 00:22:55.465 Verse five. 00:22:57.232 --> 00:23:04.633 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. 00:23:04.633 --> 00:23:16.032 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children if you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening. 00:23:16.032 --> 00:23:19.000 So here he says, here's why. 00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:21.766 The reason why I know this is the strategy you should follow. 00:23:21.766 --> 00:23:25.432 It's because this is what the women who laid the foundation for our faith did. 00:23:25.432 --> 00:23:26.665 In fact, one in particular. 00:23:26.665 --> 00:23:28.900 This is what Sarah did. 00:23:28.900 --> 00:23:30.032 He says this of her. 00:23:30.032 --> 00:23:34.865 He says what she did was she obeyed Abraham and called him Lord. 00:23:34.865 --> 00:23:37.032 I think that's a good place to wrap up the message. 00:23:37.032 --> 00:23:40.032 If we could just apply that today. 00:23:42.365 --> 00:23:42.965 Maybe not. 00:23:42.965 --> 00:23:45.333 We might need to explain what that means. 00:23:45.333 --> 00:23:46.932 Obey him. 00:23:46.932 --> 00:23:47.932 She called him Lord. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:52.266 What does it mean that Sarah obeyed Abraham? 00:23:52.266 --> 00:23:58.299 There's not actually a place in the Old Testament where it says, and right now Sarah is obeying Abraham. 00:23:58.365 --> 00:24:02.700 So we've got to kind of look at the stories, read between the lines a little bit. 00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:10.232 We know that she obeyed him when he said, hey, I think these guys may want to kill me if they know I'm your husband. 00:24:10.232 --> 00:24:14.532 So I'm going to tell them you're my sister and you play along. 00:24:14.833 --> 00:24:17.299 And she did. 00:24:17.299 --> 00:24:22.232 Sometimes husbands don't always make the best decisions, do they? 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:24.299 I'm glad that was silent. 00:24:24.299 --> 00:24:29.365 Actually, I was I was expecting there might be a lot of amens on that one. No, that was good. 00:24:29.365 --> 00:24:30.865 That was the right response. 00:24:30.865 --> 00:24:31.299 Okay. 00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:39.365 No, we don't always make the best decisions. Abe Abraham, he he didn't make the right call there. 00:24:39.365 --> 00:24:41.633 And yet she obeyed him. 00:24:41.633 --> 00:24:43.766 She followed his direction. 00:24:43.766 --> 00:24:46.566 She continued to follow him. 00:24:46.566 --> 00:24:47.700 Should she have not? 00:24:47.700 --> 00:24:50.865 I don't know, that's one example, a better example though. 00:24:50.865 --> 00:24:53.000 Way better example. 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:57.432 God met Abraham and said, it's time for you to go. 00:24:57.432 --> 00:25:00.032 It's time for you to go out into the wilderness. 00:25:00.032 --> 00:25:01.500 I'm going to take you to another land. 00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:05.299 And of course, he's wondering, where is that? 00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:06.566 I'll tell you. 00:25:06.566 --> 00:25:07.633 Just get going. 00:25:07.633 --> 00:25:09.266 I'll show you. 00:25:09.266 --> 00:25:13.799 And I know I'm sure Sarah was like, you mean what? 00:25:13.799 --> 00:25:15.833 Where? 00:25:15.833 --> 00:25:18.133 We're doing what? 00:25:18.133 --> 00:25:25.633 You know, I know plenty of people love a good adventure, but I'd like to know where we end up along this journey. 00:25:25.633 --> 00:25:28.232 But she followed him. 00:25:28.232 --> 00:25:31.400 She said, okay, let's go. 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:33.665 Let's go together. 00:25:33.665 --> 00:25:36.566 Let's see what God's going to do. 00:25:36.566 --> 00:25:43.432 She continued to follow his leadership, but second, when it says she called him Lord. 00:25:43.465 --> 00:25:49.133 Now when we think of that word, probably the only person you use that of is God is Jesus. 00:25:49.133 --> 00:25:55.266 That's probably the only person you call Lord, unless you're British in the 1800s, that who else do you call Lord? 00:25:55.266 --> 00:26:00.599 It's a word, though, that at that time also meant much like we use sir, it was. 00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:04.099 This could have been just a sign of respect. 00:26:04.099 --> 00:26:05.532 I've called my boss, sir. 00:26:05.532 --> 00:26:07.965 I've heard parents call their kids in the South, sir. 00:26:07.965 --> 00:26:09.732 No, sir. Don't you do that. 00:26:09.732 --> 00:26:10.000 You know. 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.633 So we use words like that with a wide range of meaning. 00:26:14.633 --> 00:26:21.400 And here it means that Sarah said I'm going to continue to respect you. 00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:29.700 I'm going to continue to honor you even though you're not perfect, even though you don't make all the best decisions. 00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:32.532 I'm going to continue to honor you. 00:26:32.532 --> 00:26:37.566 And this is so important for us to hear because in our culture it is the opposite. 00:26:37.566 --> 00:26:40.500 It's so fashionable to put down men and fathers. 00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:43.500 You watch any programing on the TV. 00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:46.400 Oh, pick any show. 00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:48.732 Most fathers are bumbling idiots. 00:26:48.732 --> 00:26:51.532 They need their teenager to rescue them to make it through life. 00:26:51.532 --> 00:26:54.799 You wonder the whole show how they accomplish anything in life? 00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:57.165 And that's not true. 00:26:57.165 --> 00:27:00.165 It's so fashionable. 00:27:00.432 --> 00:27:01.900 But she said, I'll... 00:27:01.900 --> 00:27:03.665 I'll honor you. 00:27:03.665 --> 00:27:05.333 Yeah. That wasn't the right call. 00:27:05.333 --> 00:27:06.432 No, I'm not your sister. 00:27:06.432 --> 00:27:09.432 I will honor you. 00:27:10.165 --> 00:27:10.932 And it's a good thing. 00:27:10.932 --> 00:27:14.232 By the way, Abraham wasn't perfect. 00:27:14.232 --> 00:27:17.833 Guess who else wasn't perfect, Sarah. 00:27:17.833 --> 00:27:27.566 You know, when she was calling him Lord in that story, at the same time, she was laughing out loud at the idea that she might have a kid, that she might get pregnant. 00:27:27.566 --> 00:27:29.532 She's laughing at that. How ridiculous. 00:27:31.165 --> 00:27:34.032 I don't trust, I don't believe. 00:27:34.032 --> 00:27:36.333 In fact, she's not sure this is going to come about. 00:27:36.333 --> 00:27:37.365 So she you know what she does. 00:27:37.365 --> 00:27:38.865 You remember the story. 00:27:38.865 --> 00:27:45.266 She gets her servant, her handmaid, and she says, Abraham, why don't you have a kid with her so we can hurry this thing along? 00:27:45.266 --> 00:27:47.465 Because this promise isn't coming along fast enough. 00:27:47.465 --> 00:27:50.465 Any wives ever get impatient with their husband’s plans? 00:27:50.465 --> 00:27:54.266 I don't want to hear many amens from this side of the room. 00:27:54.266 --> 00:27:56.232 I got to think things through very carefully. 00:27:56.232 --> 00:27:58.333 Often it takes a long time to make decisions. 00:27:58.333 --> 00:28:01.965 But look, with Abraham, let's hurry this up. 00:28:01.965 --> 00:28:03.799 Go have a baby with her. 00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:06.066 God's promise will still happen. 00:28:06.066 --> 00:28:09.000 Abraham says, okay, whatever you want. 00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:09.732 We'll do this. 00:28:11.465 --> 00:28:12.633 And her response to that. 00:28:12.633 --> 00:28:17.833 You think Abraham would have thought she'll be happy now. 00:28:17.833 --> 00:28:20.365 And it was the opposite. 00:28:20.365 --> 00:28:22.633 Now she hated that servant. 00:28:22.633 --> 00:28:24.000 She hated that child. 00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:25.200 She probably hated Abraham. 00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:26.200 It doesn't say that. 00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.200 And she wanted to be done with them all. 00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:32.200 Sarah wasn't perfect either. 00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:34.633 You see, none of us are perfect. 00:28:34.633 --> 00:28:37.432 And here's the beauty of this. 00:28:37.432 --> 00:28:54.799 If you look at the end of the passage, here's what he says as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children if you do good, and do not fear anything that is frightening. 00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:58.232 Look, I'm not perfect. 00:28:58.232 --> 00:28:59.532 Julie is not perfect. 00:28:59.532 --> 00:29:01.032 Abraham wasn't perfect. 00:29:01.032 --> 00:29:02.766 Sarah wasn't perfect. 00:29:02.766 --> 00:29:08.833 And if you're wondering if you're someone who's wondered, can God still use me? 00:29:09.965 --> 00:29:12.965 You don't know what I've done. 00:29:13.099 --> 00:29:18.165 You don't know the things I've done, I feel unusable, I feel like God. 00:29:18.599 --> 00:29:31.700 Look, Sarah gets held up as a model for you to follow, not her sinful decisions, but the way that she honored God, honored Abraham. 00:29:31.700 --> 00:29:37.365 And if he can use her, he can use you. 00:29:37.365 --> 00:29:44.732 If he can work in their life, if you can work in her life, he can use you. 00:29:44.732 --> 00:29:54.165 The last word to point out here is this word If. You are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 00:29:54.165 --> 00:29:56.232 That word isn't there in the original language. 00:29:56.232 --> 00:30:00.633 There's no word there, but it's written in a way that you do need to fill it in with something. 00:30:00.633 --> 00:30:03.700 You can also fill it in and most often fill it in with since. 00:30:05.965 --> 00:30:10.865 You are her children since you are her children because of who you are. 00:30:10.865 --> 00:30:14.200 And this is where it lands for the Christian. 00:30:14.200 --> 00:30:17.799 Because I know Christ, I can. 00:30:17.799 --> 00:30:23.833 I don't have to walk in fear, I don't have to manipulate, I don’t have to try to get my way through my own strength. 00:30:23.833 --> 00:30:28.465 Because I know him, I can walk in obedience to him. 00:30:28.465 --> 00:30:30.165 I don't have to walk in fear. 00:30:30.165 --> 00:30:33.665 I can trust that he is at work behind the scenes. 00:30:33.665 --> 00:30:41.032 In fact, we sing that song all the time, even when I don't feel it, even when I don't see it. 00:30:41.032 --> 00:30:43.365 What's he doing? 00:30:43.365 --> 00:30:45.099 He's working. 00:30:45.099 --> 00:30:47.932 How often does he stop working? 00:30:47.932 --> 00:30:49.432 He never stops. 00:30:49.432 --> 00:30:54.066 And even when I don't feel it, even when I don't see it, he's working. 00:30:54.066 --> 00:30:56.165 He never stops working. He's at work. 00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:03.299 And yet it's not always easy. 00:31:03.299 --> 00:31:06.299 I'm not saying it's easy, but it's true. 00:31:07.365 --> 00:31:09.432 And truth is what we need. 00:31:09.432 --> 00:31:12.432 Let's pray. 00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:17.465 God, we thank you that we have the truth of your word. 00:31:19.500 --> 00:31:22.500 We live in a world. 00:31:22.932 --> 00:31:26.865 That really has no idea what is true or what is not. 00:31:26.865 --> 00:31:30.165 Has no idea what to base their lives in. 00:31:32.232 --> 00:31:37.700 But we know your word is truth, that you are the very essence of truth. 00:31:39.066 --> 00:31:41.732 God, would you help us to know what that means for us? 00:31:41.732 --> 00:31:57.400 As we this week looked at instructions for wives of unbelieving husbands, and next week we'll look at what it says to the husband and how he is to act at the end of the day, there's 100 different situations in here and we all need great wisdom from you. 00:31:59.465 --> 00:32:02.465 Would you guide us? 00:32:02.900 --> 00:32:07.165 Would you help us to hear from your spirit today? 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:13.066 In fact, right now I just want to pray over a few of us. 00:32:13.066 --> 00:32:19.932 I'm not going to ask for any kind of public show of raising of hands or standing or anything like that. 00:32:19.932 --> 00:32:24.500 I think this is too delicate a situation. 00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:35.133 But in particular, if you're a wife of an unbelieving husband, I want to pray for you right now. 00:32:35.365 --> 00:32:38.665 I'll ask that you would just receive this prayer. 00:32:38.665 --> 00:32:41.665 God, would you move in his life today? 00:32:42.432 --> 00:32:51.900 I pray even right now, wherever he is, if it's here, if it's at home, if it's somewhere else, that he would sense you moving in his life like never before. 00:32:54.099 --> 00:32:57.500 Just like Jason said, I saw what God was doing in your life. 00:32:57.500 --> 00:32:59.500 I saw your peace. I saw your hope. 00:32:59.500 --> 00:33:01.633 God was softening. 00:33:01.633 --> 00:33:05.099 Would you soften the heart of husbands today? 00:33:06.633 --> 00:33:09.633 And also, would you give? 00:33:09.665 --> 00:33:11.700 Would you give this woman courage today? 00:33:11.700 --> 00:33:17.766 Courage to continue to trust you, courage to continue to follow the truth of your word? 00:33:17.766 --> 00:33:30.400 Would you surround her with other women who could encourage her love on her, give her wisdom, give her hope? 00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:32.165 I pray this church would be a place. 00:33:35.066 --> 00:33:40.965 Where a woman in that situation would feel your love and presence and comfort. 00:33:43.333 --> 00:33:47.700 We thank you for your Holy Spirit that's at work in the lives of all of us. 00:33:47.700 --> 00:33:49.599 We all need you. 00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:51.266 We we all need you. 00:33:51.266 --> 00:33:52.799 No matter how long we've known you. 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:58.599 We've need you every day to renew us, to restore us, to walk with you. 00:33:58.932 --> 00:34:02.066 Thank you that we can come Jesus and worship together. We love you. 00:34:03.099 --> 00:34:03.566 Amen.