WEBVTT 00:00:00.865 --> 00:00:03.866 Well, good morning, Valley view. 00:00:03.932 --> 00:00:06.166 Great to be with you. 00:00:06.166 --> 00:00:08.733 Thank you for the applause for opening the door. 00:00:08.733 --> 00:00:11.066 Wow, that's a good start. 00:00:11.066 --> 00:00:15.400 I did that just to highlight the fact that our stage is very different today. 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:22.233 If this is your first time here, we don't normally have all of these outdoor decorations, but this week is Vacation Bible School. 00:00:22.233 --> 00:00:31.733 We're starting into that this week, which is one of our best outreaches to the community where we intentionally invest in the lives of the children who are part of our church. 00:00:31.733 --> 00:00:35.566 And it's a powerful week, so be praying for that this week. 00:00:35.566 --> 00:00:39.899 One of the things I've been contemplating since all of this is outdoor theme. 00:00:39.899 --> 00:00:46.765 I wish there was a way we could incorporate, especially into snack time, the use, use of cicadas. 00:00:46.765 --> 00:00:48.466 Wouldn't that be great? 00:00:48.466 --> 00:00:50.865 We we have so many around. 00:00:50.865 --> 00:00:52.799 It'd be great if we could figure that out. 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:53.232 Don't worry. 00:00:53.232 --> 00:00:53.966 Still bring your kids. 00:00:53.966 --> 00:00:54.765 It's going to be okay. 00:00:54.765 --> 00:00:55.232 We won't. 00:00:55.232 --> 00:00:56.232 Don't bring cicadas. 00:00:56.232 --> 00:00:58.966 By the way, kids, I know you're thinking it's a great opportunity. 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:02.133 Okay, bring it back together. 00:01:02.133 --> 00:01:03.633 We're looking at the book of Proverbs. 00:01:03.633 --> 00:01:07.299 We've been studying the book of Proverbs because we want wisdom. 00:01:07.299 --> 00:01:10.233 We want ancient wisdom for a modern day. 00:01:10.233 --> 00:01:13.799 And the Book of Proverbs is all about wisdom. 00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:18.933 And we're working through a series of topics that spreads across many of the chapters of Proverbs. 00:01:18.933 --> 00:01:20.000 We looked at character. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.433 What does Proverbs say about character? 00:01:21.433 --> 00:01:22.965 We looked at finances last week. 00:01:22.965 --> 00:01:25.900 This week we'll be looking at our words. 00:01:25.900 --> 00:01:29.832 What does Proverbs have to say about the words you use? 00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:35.933 And I think this is probably the topic Proverbs gives more attention to than any other. 00:01:35.933 --> 00:01:39.500 Beyond the obvious of how do we get wisdom? 00:01:39.500 --> 00:01:41.099 I did a study of this in college. 00:01:41.099 --> 00:01:52.400 I just went through every verse in the book of Proverbs, every single one, and I circled wherever I saw any kind of word related to our words the mouth, the lips, the tongue, speech, every word like that. 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:58.033 How many verses in the book of Proverbs have some reference to the use of our words? 00:01:59.132 --> 00:02:09.133 I don't remember the exact number, but it was somewhere around 25% of the verses in the book of Proverbs makes some reference to the use of our words. 00:02:09.133 --> 00:02:11.233 That's a huge amount of the book of Proverbs. 00:02:11.233 --> 00:02:13.199 A quarter of the book is given to. 00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:18.432 If you want to apply wisdom to your life, make sure you're careful with your speech. 00:02:18.432 --> 00:02:24.265 Now, why would God care so much about how we use our words? 00:02:24.699 --> 00:02:27.832 Why would he give it a fourth of a book of wisdom? 00:02:27.832 --> 00:02:29.466 Give attention to the use of our words. 00:02:29.466 --> 00:02:33.099 Why give that so much of all the things he could give attention to? 00:02:33.099 --> 00:02:35.400 Why our words? 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:43.432 What we're going to build towards emphasizing that and pointing out why I think there are some other elements of Scripture that point us towards that. 00:02:44.633 --> 00:02:50.699 But to begin with, part of the reason comes back to just understanding the heart. 00:02:51.765 --> 00:02:59.866 34 out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. 00:02:59.866 --> 00:03:01.165 And you know how this works. 00:03:01.165 --> 00:03:03.000 You've probably used this with your kids. 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:07.066 If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste, what comes out? 00:03:07.066 --> 00:03:09.099 It's not a trick question. 00:03:09.099 --> 00:03:10.800 Toothpaste? Thank you. 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:17.199 And when you get squeezed, meaning stress, pressure, hard times apply to your life. 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:17.866 What comes out? 00:03:17.866 --> 00:03:19.765 It's not toothpaste, by the way. 00:03:19.765 --> 00:03:26.500 Hopefully whatever is in your heart, whatever's in there is what gets shown in that moment. 00:03:26.500 --> 00:03:28.133 That's what gets revealed. 00:03:28.133 --> 00:03:30.466 Our hearts get revealed through our words. 00:03:30.466 --> 00:03:33.233 What we say reveals what's already in our hearts. 00:03:33.233 --> 00:03:36.032 There's another side to it though, as well. 00:03:36.032 --> 00:03:36.466 It's not. 00:03:36.466 --> 00:03:38.633 It doesn't just only reveal what's in our heart. 00:03:38.633 --> 00:03:41.765 What we say also affects our hearts. 00:03:42.733 --> 00:03:48.932 Also influences our hearts, also directs our hearts. 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:53.032 That's why we need to be careful with what we say. 00:03:53.099 --> 00:03:57.699 In fact, we're going to have as our anchor passage today, Proverbs chapter 18. 00:03:57.699 --> 00:04:00.000 And it's on the back of your handout that you got. 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.599 If you didn't get one, slip up your hand. 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:06.366 Maybe, maybe people will be able to get one to you. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:14.332 But we're going to use Proverbs chapter 18 as our central passage to unpack this idea of the words. We’ll jump around all over Proverbs. 00:04:14.332 --> 00:04:17.033 That's why we have a handout. 00:04:17.033 --> 00:04:22.766 But there's a verse in Proverbs 18 that highlights this reality of how it affects your heart. 00:04:23.165 --> 00:04:28.432 Look at 18, verse seven, before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility. 00:04:28.432 --> 00:04:29.266 I'm sorry, that's verse 12. 00:04:29.266 --> 00:04:34.266 Verse seven- a fool’s mouth is his ruin and his lips are a snare to his soul. 00:04:35.632 --> 00:04:38.966 What you say affects your soul. 00:04:38.966 --> 00:04:42.632 The two are related, so it works both ways. 00:04:42.632 --> 00:04:46.699 And we need to practice care with our words. 00:04:46.733 --> 00:04:55.233 Now, Proverbs 18 is useful towards this end because I've said early on we talked about the structure of verses chapters one through nine. 00:04:55.233 --> 00:05:01.132 We talked about the fact that chapters ten through 30 have less structure and they're more individual proverbs. 00:05:01.132 --> 00:05:03.399 But chapter 18 has some interesting things going on. 00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:05.932 I've tried to highlight that on the back of your handout, 00:05:05.932 --> 00:05:15.932 21, many of the commentators and scholars I read said they see this kind of as its own unit with some structure within it. 00:05:15.932 --> 00:05:20.466 It's not super clear structure, but there are some, they called it proverbial clusters. 00:05:20.466 --> 00:05:25.833 There are some things clustered together to give emphasis, and hopefully you can see that in the way I've laid this out. 00:05:25.833 --> 00:05:29.333 The first two verses emphasize the restraining of our words. 00:05:29.333 --> 00:05:30.432 He closes his lips. 00:05:30.432 --> 00:05:32.466 You see the bookends there of that. 00:05:32.466 --> 00:05:37.565 Verses four through eight begin with the words of a man's mouth, the words of a whisper, a focus. There. 00:05:37.565 --> 00:05:39.132 That section working together. 00:05:39.132 --> 00:05:44.966 Verses 12 through 15 begin and end with a heart talking about the heart, and in the middle is the spirit. 00:05:44.966 --> 00:05:49.565 Verses 18 and 19 begin and end with quarrels, emphasizing how we address quarrels. 00:05:49.565 --> 00:05:59.733 Verse 20 and 21 talk about the fruit of the mouth, so that these clusters, these gathering of proverbs that give emphasis to those and give some structure. 00:05:59.733 --> 00:06:08.632 And we see over and over again in chapter 18 that he's addressing how we use our words, how we use our mouth, how it relates to the heart and the rest of our life. 00:06:08.632 --> 00:06:16.333 And I think it's all loosely organized around this last verse in chapter 18, and it's an important one for us to recognize today. 00:06:16.333 --> 00:06:25.533 While we think about how we use our words, it says death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat of its fruits. 00:06:25.533 --> 00:06:33.733 You see, every time we open our mouths, we have a choice to make every single time, every word we use is. 00:06:33.733 --> 00:06:43.132 And there are variations and shades, but we're either giving life through our words, or we're taking life through our words every time. 00:06:43.132 --> 00:06:47.500 And we've got a choice all day long, a million times a day. 00:06:48.466 --> 00:06:52.865 Am I going to give life with what I say, or am I going to take it? 00:06:52.865 --> 00:07:00.500 And those who love life eat of its fruit, and those who like to take life love to eat of that fruit as well. 00:07:01.132 --> 00:07:02.699 How should we use our words? 00:07:02.699 --> 00:07:08.165 Here's the challenging part for the Christian our word should be life giving. 00:07:08.165 --> 00:07:10.399 In fact, flip over with me to James chapter three. 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:11.865 The page numbers in your outline. 00:07:11.865 --> 00:07:16.365 If you have one of our church Bibles, you can reference it there. James. 00:07:16.365 --> 00:07:21.065 Chapter three James is often called the Proverbs of the New Testament. 00:07:21.065 --> 00:07:26.565 It's the book of wisdom in the New Testament that has a lot of proverbial statements. 00:07:26.565 --> 00:07:30.500 But in James chapter three he talks specifically about the tongue. 00:07:30.500 --> 00:07:41.699 We're going to keep coming back to this chapter a couple of different times, but here's what he says in verse eight- no human being can tame the tongue. 00:07:41.699 --> 00:07:44.833 It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. 00:07:44.833 --> 00:07:50.932 With it we bless our Lord and father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 00:07:50.932 --> 00:07:53.365 We do both. 00:07:53.365 --> 00:07:54.632 But notice what he says about this. 00:07:54.632 --> 00:07:56.865 From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. 00:07:56.865 --> 00:08:04.233 My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does this bring forth from the same opening both fresh and saltwater? 00:08:04.233 --> 00:08:17.033 His point being, if you know Christ, if he lives in you, if he has changed your life, what comes forth from us should not be both blessings and cursing. 00:08:17.833 --> 00:08:22.432 The same way you go to a spring and it's either freshwater or saltwater. It's not both. 00:08:22.432 --> 00:08:26.565 Now, of course. Listen, none of us are perfect. 00:08:26.565 --> 00:08:32.533 Even if you're the most seasoned Christians here, you have used your words wrongly even recently. 00:08:32.533 --> 00:08:34.932 Probably. 00:08:34.932 --> 00:08:38.633 But for the Christian, the burden should be to give life. 00:08:38.633 --> 00:08:40.432 It should be moving towards life giving. 00:08:40.432 --> 00:08:49.399 It should be quick to confess when I give death with my words, it should be wanting to change old patterns and habits that lead to words of death. 00:08:49.432 --> 00:08:56.265 So how does the Proverbs guide us in this giving, life giving words rather than words that take life? 00:08:56.265 --> 00:09:01.566 There's a real, simple acronym we're going to use today that I got from Bruce Waltke, a commentator. 00:09:01.566 --> 00:09:06.932 He got it from a student, and this student said we should use gentle breath. 00:09:07.066 --> 00:09:08.265 Gentle breath. 00:09:08.265 --> 00:09:11.365 We'll use that acronym starting with the letter G. Gentle. 00:09:12.932 --> 00:09:15.765 And that's the word we're going to emphasize here. 00:09:15.765 --> 00:09:16.832 It's in your notes. 00:09:16.832 --> 00:09:22.799 How do we use words that are gentle? Life giving words tend to be gentle. 00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:25.566 14 here. 00:09:25.566 --> 00:09:28.365 You want to look at chapter 18. 00:09:28.365 --> 00:09:33.600 A man's spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? 00:09:34.133 --> 00:09:37.899 So the fool wants to use their words to crush you. 00:09:37.899 --> 00:09:40.265 They want to harm, they want to hurt. 00:09:40.265 --> 00:09:42.000 They want to tear down. 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:46.700 They want to make you feel small so they can make themselves feel big. 00:09:47.633 --> 00:09:52.365 But, but, but note the Christian uses gentle words building upwards. 00:09:52.365 --> 00:09:53.399 Look at a couple of these verses 00:09:53.399 --> 00:09:57.200 4 - the soothing tongue is a tree of life. 00:09:57.200 --> 00:09:59.966 A soft answer turns away wrath. 00:09:59.966 --> 00:10:02.799 A gentle tongue breaks the bone. 00:10:04.533 --> 00:10:07.533 So here's the crazy part of this. 00:10:08.033 --> 00:10:13.265 The reality is, harsh words can work to get what you want. 00:10:13.533 --> 00:10:14.865 People do it all the time. 00:10:14.865 --> 00:10:17.432 Yell, scream, threaten. 00:10:17.432 --> 00:10:19.166 And it does work. 00:10:19.166 --> 00:10:20.633 People do respond to that. 00:10:20.633 --> 00:10:29.332 But the case Proverbs is making here is that actually the opposite of that is more powerful, is more persuasive. 00:10:29.332 --> 00:10:33.232 It's the gentle word that actually turns away wrath. 00:10:33.232 --> 00:10:40.633 And everyone here has experienced this where you're hoping to hurt someone through your words and you use harsh words. 00:10:40.633 --> 00:10:43.633 You use words meant to intend to harm. 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.200 And the other person does not respond. 00:10:50.633 --> 00:10:53.466 And it changes the tone. 00:10:53.466 --> 00:10:55.265 Yeah, you can use harsh words. 00:10:55.265 --> 00:10:57.232 You can use crushing words. 00:10:57.232 --> 00:10:59.033 And it may get what you want in the moment. 00:10:59.033 --> 00:11:00.365 But it's not winning their heart. 00:11:01.466 --> 00:11:04.332 It's not the way to go about it long term. 00:11:04.332 --> 00:11:07.332 It's not the path of life. 00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:12.265 And so life giving words, are first gentle. 00:11:13.066 --> 00:11:19.732 They are words that come with a sense of tenderness and kindness and love and joy and respect. 00:11:20.832 --> 00:11:21.033 All right. 00:11:21.033 --> 00:11:22.799 Now let's continue in our acronym. 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:25.033 Acronym with the word breath. 00:11:25.033 --> 00:11:27.533 The letter B, you can fill in the blanks here. 00:11:27.533 --> 00:11:30.533 Boasts not. 00:11:31.633 --> 00:11:33.066 Words that honor God. 00:11:33.066 --> 00:11:35.932 Words that are life giving do not boast. 00:11:35.932 --> 00:11:37.332 They boast not. 00:11:37.332 --> 00:11:46.365 Look at verse 12 here of chapter 18 - before destruction, a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. 00:11:47.533 --> 00:11:54.732 So the fool loves to boast, loves to talk about themselves, loves to be braggart. 00:11:54.732 --> 00:11:57.732 But honor comes through humility. 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:03.000 Words that are life giving have at their core a measure of humility. 00:12:04.100 --> 00:12:04.832 In fact, look at this 00:12:04.832 --> 00:12:11.700 2, let another praise you and not your own lips. 00:12:11.700 --> 00:12:14.932 The call of the Christian is let someone else do that. 00:12:14.932 --> 00:12:19.232 We don't have to stand up and talk about how great we are. 00:12:19.232 --> 00:12:24.633 Let someone else do that, and if they don't, it's going to be okay. 00:12:24.633 --> 00:12:31.500 Our security, our identity is not dependent on someone else praising me as a Christian. 00:12:31.566 --> 00:12:34.566 I don't have to have that to have significance. 00:12:34.566 --> 00:12:37.432 But if it is going to happen, let someone else do it. 00:12:37.432 --> 00:12:40.133 By the way, it doesn't work when you do it anyway. 00:12:40.133 --> 00:12:43.399 Everyone sees right through that and they go, what's going on with him? 00:12:43.399 --> 00:12:45.966 Well, why does he have to talk about how great he is? 00:12:45.966 --> 00:12:52.265 No, let another praise you and not your own lips. Now the fool wants no part of that. 00:12:52.265 --> 00:13:01.899 6- a fool's lips walk into a fight and his mouth invites a beating. 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.200 You've seen that? 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:07.133 The fool cannot humble themself. 00:13:07.133 --> 00:13:13.332 They got to keep pressing and pressing, and their mouth walks him right into a situation they can't get back from. 00:13:13.332 --> 00:13:15.399 I was down in men's breakfast recently. 00:13:15.399 --> 00:13:21.700 We had that last month, in fact, Saturday we're having a gathering of the men out at the ball field. 00:13:21.700 --> 00:13:29.966 It's going to be a great afternoon barbecue from 2 to 4, but we had our men's breakfast and I was getting the plate of food. 00:13:30.765 --> 00:13:32.932 One of the things I like to do is put some hot sauce on my eggs. 00:13:32.932 --> 00:13:39.932 We usually have some bottles of hot sauce sitting there and I'm over there near the hot sauce, and I hear Richard Cotton back in the kitchen. 00:13:39.932 --> 00:13:42.232 I hear him say something about hot sauce. 00:13:42.232 --> 00:13:45.332 And I know Richard loves a good hot sauce, so I'm getting excited. 00:13:45.332 --> 00:13:48.133 I just hear him utter the phrase hot sauce. 00:13:48.133 --> 00:13:50.232 And so I yell back because it's noisy in there. 00:13:50.232 --> 00:13:56.466 There's fans going and machinery and equipment and there's people talking, and I kind of yell through there, what did you say about hot sauce? 00:13:56.466 --> 00:13:59.033 Richard? Do you have something for me? 00:13:59.033 --> 00:14:00.832 And here's what Richard yells back. 00:14:00.832 --> 00:14:04.265 He yells, why don't you come over here and say it? 00:14:05.633 --> 00:14:11.066 Which if you weren't here, I told the story of a time I did that as a kid weeks ago, and it got me in big trouble. 00:14:11.066 --> 00:14:14.100 My mouth was writing checks, my fist couldn’t cash kind of thing. 00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:14.966 You know what I'm talking about. 00:14:14.966 --> 00:14:16.600 He thankfully had to remind me of that. 00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:18.666 I didn't really appreciate it in the moment. 00:14:20.033 --> 00:14:32.399 The fool's lips walk into a fight, the fool's lips stir up, the fool's lips divide rather than moving towards life and peace. 00:14:32.399 --> 00:14:33.832 Boast not. 00:14:33.832 --> 00:14:35.865 That's part of what we're called to do with our words. 00:14:35.865 --> 00:14:43.865 That's the letter B, letter R, the words that are life giving are called to be restrained. 00:14:43.865 --> 00:14:45.700 Restrained. 00:14:45.700 --> 00:14:47.600 Few. 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:49.732 27. 00:14:49.732 --> 00:14:52.066 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge. 00:14:52.066 --> 00:14:54.865 He who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. 00:14:54.865 --> 00:14:57.332 There's something about the book of Proverbs over and over again. 00:14:57.332 --> 00:15:03.432 It gives this emphasis to the reality that a Christian is called to use less words. 00:15:03.432 --> 00:15:06.666 That wisdom is often attached to less words. 00:15:06.666 --> 00:15:11.732 19-- When words are many, transgression is not lacking. 00:15:11.732 --> 00:15:14.832 But whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 00:15:17.100 --> 00:15:20.666 There's something about the wise person who knows. 00:15:20.666 --> 00:15:23.066 Let me just hold back a little bit. 00:15:23.066 --> 00:15:28.133 Let me not do and say the very first thing that comes to mind. Let me wait. 00:15:28.133 --> 00:15:29.899 Let me be patient. 00:15:29.899 --> 00:15:31.932 Let me see if I need to say anything. 00:15:31.932 --> 00:15:34.566 If it gets said by someone else. 00:15:34.566 --> 00:15:36.700 Again, the fool wants no part of this. 00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:38.265 The fool just wants to talk and talk. 00:15:38.265 --> 00:15:39.133 Express his opinion. 00:15:39.133 --> 00:15:41.033 In fact, look at verse two in chapter 18. 00:15:41.033 --> 00:15:46.299 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. 00:15:47.899 --> 00:15:52.332 One author I read called this the Babyl-on-ian; babble on and on. 00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:57.365 The person who's just talk, talk, talk never stops, never takes a break, breath. 00:15:57.365 --> 00:15:59.799 You're waiting for them to come up for air so you can interject. 00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:00.332 And they don't. 00:16:00.332 --> 00:16:05.332 They have unceasing amounts of breath and they just keep talking. 00:16:05.332 --> 00:16:09.765 And all they value is expressing their own opinion. 00:16:09.832 --> 00:16:13.533 What that reveals is an unteachable heart. 00:16:13.533 --> 00:16:17.000 I don't really want to hear what anybody else has to say. 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:19.666 It's just going to make it all about me. 00:16:19.666 --> 00:16:22.799 And again, look, we've all been there at times. 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:25.899 This is hard for me to talk about because I get paid to talk. 00:16:25.899 --> 00:16:34.432 You can imagine this is just a little bit intimidating to me, to talk for me to bring up these verses right here- where words are few, there are less transgressions. 00:16:34.432 --> 00:16:44.700 There's something, though, about Proverbs that calls us to give care with our words, to pause, to think before we just shout out whatever comes to mind. 00:16:44.700 --> 00:16:51.899 In fact, I love verse 28 of 17 even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise. 00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:55.765 When he does close his lips, he is deemed intelligent. 00:16:56.732 --> 00:17:00.765 If you're not sure what to say, just don't say anything. It's okay. 00:17:00.765 --> 00:17:06.200 We don't always have to express our opinions, so our words are called to be restrained. 00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:09.066 Now, I think there's three ways to show restraint. 00:17:09.066 --> 00:17:10.099 These aren't in your notes. 00:17:10.099 --> 00:17:13.700 You'll need to jot these down if you want to capture them. 00:17:13.700 --> 00:17:15.700 Three reasons why we should show restraint. 00:17:15.700 --> 00:17:20.633 The first is that controlling our tongue is a way to gain self-control in general. 00:17:21.532 --> 00:17:27.532 If you can't control your tongue, it generally is connected to self-control in other areas of life. 00:17:27.532 --> 00:17:29.232 Let's go back to James chapter three. 00:17:29.232 --> 00:17:37.266 This is stated explicitly in James chapter three, James chapter three, verse two. 00:17:50.500 --> 00:17:58.599 For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:02.566 Notice the connection he's making here and he's going to make it in the next one. 00:18:02.566 --> 00:18:06.532 There's a connection between the use of the tongue and the use of the entire body. 00:18:06.532 --> 00:18:09.266 He gives the example of a horse. 00:18:09.266 --> 00:18:14.633 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 00:18:14.633 --> 00:18:19.000 A very small thing controls a much larger thing. 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:20.400 He talks about a ship after that. 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:21.000 Look at ships. 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:28.633 Also, though they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 00:18:28.633 --> 00:18:33.900 So also the tongue, though it is a small member, it boasts of great things. 00:18:34.965 --> 00:18:44.465 Something very small, the tongue-- when it is controlled, there's a connection between that and self-control over the entirety of the person. 00:18:44.900 --> 00:18:47.000 That's the first reason why restraint is important. 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.333 Second, it is a path to wisdom. 00:18:49.333 --> 00:19:06.465 Wisdom, as we saw in verse 28, even if you keep silent, you might be considered wise if you don't have wisdom, stay quiet, gain wisdom from others, and when they talk and you gain wisdom from them, you might be in a place then to have something of worth to say. 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.532 Silence can be a path to wisdom. 00:19:09.532 --> 00:19:12.532 And then number three. 00:19:12.599 --> 00:19:17.266 Listening is a profound means of love. 00:19:18.566 --> 00:19:25.066 Listening is a profound means of love, especially in our day and age. 00:19:25.066 --> 00:19:27.965 I mean, people are dying to be heard. 00:19:29.032 --> 00:19:30.566 They're dying to be heard. 00:19:30.566 --> 00:19:33.500 Everything they do is screaming out, will you listen to me? 00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:35.032 Will somebody hear me? 00:19:35.032 --> 00:19:37.200 Well, someone care enough to listen? 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:46.766 I've got to tell you, there's a-- some of the most profound moments in my life were the times that someone just sat and listened to me for hours. 00:19:47.465 --> 00:19:53.833 And of course, I was the Babyl-on-ian, and they just listened. 00:19:53.833 --> 00:19:56.032 They just loved on me. 00:19:56.032 --> 00:20:00.200 They were hard seasons where I needed to be heard. 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:03.566 But this is hard for the Christian, especially the Christian. 00:20:03.566 --> 00:20:05.799 In fact, I put this quote in here by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. 00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:10.665 I put it in your notes because it's long, but it's one you're going to want to reread, reread and consider. 00:20:10.665 --> 00:20:13.799 I mentioned Bonhoeffer before he was a pastor during World War Two. 00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:16.266 In fact, this quote comes from his book. 00:20:16.266 --> 00:20:17.333 He was a German pastor. 00:20:17.333 --> 00:20:25.700 He wrote a book, Life Together, summarizing their approach to an illegal seminary they created because they didn't like what was happening across the whole German church. 00:20:25.700 --> 00:20:28.066 That seemed to be going along with Hitler's program. 00:20:28.066 --> 00:20:29.599 We've got to go a different direction. 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:32.365 We should be about making disciples, not supporting the government. 00:20:32.365 --> 00:20:37.133 And so he wrote a book summarizing up their approach to how they were training pastors. 00:20:38.333 --> 00:20:41.700 And one of the things he talked about was the importance of listening. 00:20:41.700 --> 00:20:43.965 Look at this quote with me. 00:20:43.965 --> 00:20:47.432 Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. 00:20:47.432 --> 00:20:55.032 They do not find it among Christians because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. 00:20:55.665 --> 00:21:02.365 But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either. 00:21:02.365 --> 00:21:08.000 Notice the connection he's making here between our ability to listen to others and our ability to listen to God. 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.500 He's making a strong connection between the two. 00:21:10.500 --> 00:21:26.200 He will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God to this is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end, there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:27.133 That's a mouthful. 00:21:30.133 --> 00:21:32.232 He draws it to a conclusion here. 00:21:32.232 --> 00:21:42.133 One who cannot listen long and patiently will be presently talking beside the point, and be never really speaking to others, albeit he not be conscious of it. 00:21:42.133 --> 00:21:53.532 Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies. 00:21:54.700 --> 00:22:04.965 That is a really hard couple of paragraphs to read, because he was writing this specifically to pastors, by the way, but I think we all can relate to that. 00:22:05.032 --> 00:22:10.633 There are times I've been so self-absorbed that all I can do is just talk, talk, talk. 00:22:10.633 --> 00:22:13.133 All we gotta do is listen. 00:22:13.133 --> 00:22:15.833 Our words are called to be few, to be restrained. 00:22:15.833 --> 00:22:22.232 Now, let me give one caveat to that, because I know there's some of us in here are going to maybe a significant other, see? 00:22:22.232 --> 00:22:23.932 Pastor said it's okay if I never talk. 00:22:25.032 --> 00:22:27.932 No, no, no, that's not the point. 00:22:27.932 --> 00:22:30.465 And we're going to get to how we need to use our words. 00:22:30.465 --> 00:22:32.900 And God calls us to use our words. 00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:37.766 What I'm talking to is the moments when we use way too many without purpose and significance. 00:22:37.766 --> 00:22:40.133 We've shut others out and we're not listening. 00:22:40.133 --> 00:22:41.232 You know the difference. 00:22:41.232 --> 00:22:42.532 You know what I'm talking about. 00:22:42.532 --> 00:22:47.000 Don't use this quote to justify just being silent. 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:48.200 We gotta use balance. 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:50.232 So restrained. 00:22:50.232 --> 00:22:52.900 Now the next letter E. 00:22:52.900 --> 00:22:57.633 Words of wisdom are called to be words that do not eavesdrop. 00:22:57.633 --> 00:23:00.633 Eavesdrop not is how they stated it. 00:23:02.432 --> 00:23:05.633 And in that category I put gossip and rumors. 00:23:05.633 --> 00:23:07.599 Both of those together. 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:11.766 Rumors would be things that maybe aren't true or you don't know. 00:23:12.165 --> 00:23:16.932 Hey, I'm not sure if this is true or not that's getting spread. 00:23:16.932 --> 00:23:21.432 Gossip would be things that are true but shouldn't be spread. 00:23:21.432 --> 00:23:22.165 And you're spreading them. 00:23:22.165 --> 00:23:22.500 In fact, 00:23:22.500 --> 00:23:28.700 13-- whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets. 00:23:29.900 --> 00:23:36.799 The slanderer, the person who by-- and by the way, at the heart of both of those is this desire to hurt someone. 00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.965 I'm sharing this with the intent. 00:23:38.965 --> 00:23:40.266 Even if I act like it's not. 00:23:40.266 --> 00:23:52.599 Even if I call it a prayer request, I'm sharing it with the intent of injuring someone, of shaming them, of lowering their esteem and estimation in the eyes of others, again, so that I feel a little bit better about myself. 00:23:52.599 --> 00:23:55.432 See, I'm I'm somehow superior to them. 00:23:55.432 --> 00:23:56.500 Can't you see that? 00:23:56.500 --> 00:23:59.500 See what I shared about them. 00:24:01.099 --> 00:24:02.833 That's not what we're called to do. 00:24:02.833 --> 00:24:05.099 Look at part B of that verse. 00:24:05.099 --> 00:24:09.833 But he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered. 00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:13.432 Keeps the thing covered. 00:24:13.432 --> 00:24:15.000 We looked at this verse. 00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:16.865 In fact, you can just look across the page 00:24:16.865 --> 00:24:17.932 9. 00:24:17.932 --> 00:24:22.566 It says this-- whoever covers an offense seeks love. 00:24:22.833 --> 00:24:24.200 We looked at this verse in First Peter. 00:24:24.200 --> 00:24:30.900 Love covers a multitude of sins, seeks to cover over and conceal instead of draw out those imperfections. 00:24:30.900 --> 00:24:39.066 And again, we're not talking about things that do need to be highlighted-- crimes, horrible sins, things that need to be corrected and changed. 00:24:39.066 --> 00:24:41.532 Yes, those need to be uncovered and revealed. 00:24:41.532 --> 00:25:00.665 And we're also not talking about the kind of things that need to happen in the church, or I need to be able to go to Eddie Lee when I hear about an issue with the senior adult member, and she's a minister to senior adults, and we can talk about how do we minister to this person, that's not done in the context of hoping to tear them down, but how do we go to them and minister to them and build them up? 00:25:00.665 --> 00:25:03.465 But you've got to have the wisdom to know the difference between the two. 00:25:03.465 --> 00:25:04.833 And that's not always easy. 00:25:07.665 --> 00:25:16.200 But our words are called to not be about the rumors, the gossip, the tearing down, but to be about giving life. 00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:18.500 That's letter E. 00:25:18.500 --> 00:25:21.165 Now look at letter A. 00:25:21.165 --> 00:25:28.200 Our words are called to be apt, a-p-t, apt, fitting is another way to say it. 00:25:28.200 --> 00:25:40.500 In fact, chapter 25, verse 11 says it this way-- a word fitly spoken, some of your Bibles might say, aptly spoken, is like apples of gold in settings of silver. 00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:48.799 A word spoken in a fitting way, in a timely manner, in the right way, fashioned and crafted well is like a fine piece of jewelry. 00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:53.932 That's the imagery here for someone to take apples of gold and put it in settings of silver. 00:25:53.932 --> 00:25:56.000 Takes skill. 00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:57.766 You don't just randomly do that. 00:25:57.766 --> 00:26:04.200 You don't do it well without skill, without craftsmanship, and you see that that person has worked hard to gain that ability. 00:26:05.566 --> 00:26:10.333 And so using words that are apt have different elements to it. 00:26:10.333 --> 00:26:13.232 They should be timely. 00:26:13.232 --> 00:26:18.133 The right word delivered at the wrong time is not helpful. 00:26:18.133 --> 00:26:21.133 In fact, there's a great verse on this. 00:26:22.333 --> 00:26:25.200 11, which we already read. 00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.799 14. 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:33.400 Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice in the morning is counted as cursing. 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:35.400 But I came to bless you. 00:26:35.400 --> 00:26:36.799 I'm not ready. 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:39.532 I'm not awake. Haven’t had my coffee. 00:26:39.532 --> 00:26:39.965 Who? 00:26:39.965 --> 00:26:42.232 Who are my not morning people here. 00:26:42.232 --> 00:26:43.665 I don't want any noise in the morning. 00:26:43.665 --> 00:26:46.432 I like getting up early, I want quiet. 00:26:46.432 --> 00:26:50.099 It's not a blessing to be greeted with a loud song first thing. 00:26:50.099 --> 00:26:51.833 Some of us wake up and you're ready. 00:26:51.833 --> 00:27:00.532 You wake up singing The Star Spangled Banner at full volume, and you think the whole world is ready to hear it as well. 00:27:00.633 --> 00:27:06.299 An apt word is timely, an apt word considers the tone. 00:27:06.732 --> 00:27:17.232 You can say the exact same sentence and it can be a huge blessing, or it can be sarcasm and the person can know you didn't really mean it. 00:27:17.232 --> 00:27:20.133 This is the big challenge with texting, right? 00:27:20.133 --> 00:27:21.665 You see the exact same sentence. 00:27:21.665 --> 00:27:25.732 The exact same words on a piece of paper can be taken two very different ways. 00:27:25.732 --> 00:27:27.799 The tone matters. 00:27:27.799 --> 00:27:30.200 The pace matters. 00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:42.099 If I need to say something very meaningful, and I say it quickly and rush through it as I'm dashing out the door, you have to wonder if I really meant it, if it was really important to me or not. 00:27:42.099 --> 00:27:47.032 But if I take the time, if it's careful, if it's slow, if it's thoughtful, then you know it is. 00:27:47.032 --> 00:27:48.700 It's it's meaningful. 00:27:50.633 --> 00:27:57.165 There's an artistry to delivering words that are apt, that are timely, that are careful. 00:27:57.165 --> 00:27:59.365 That's letter A. 00:27:59.365 --> 00:28:04.333 Now letter T- thoughtful words that are life giving 00:28:04.333 --> 00:28:13.165 13-- If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. 00:28:13.165 --> 00:28:15.865 And then also verse 17, look at what it says. 00:28:15.865 --> 00:28:21.200 The one who states his cause first seems right until the other comes and examines him. 00:28:21.232 --> 00:28:28.066 Both these verses are pointing to the reality that the foolish person doesn't really want to know the whole picture. 00:28:28.066 --> 00:28:30.566 They want to rush to judgment. 00:28:30.566 --> 00:28:33.000 In fact, one commentator said it this way I love this sentence. 00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:39.465 Jumping to conclusions is a special snare of the self-important. 00:28:39.932 --> 00:28:44.500 Jumping to conclusions is a special snare of the self-important. 00:28:45.133 --> 00:28:46.900 The first thing you hear, oh, I got this figured out. 00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:53.665 I know what's going on here, but it takes thoughtfulness to hear the side of one story. 00:28:53.665 --> 00:29:07.465 In fact, anytime I'm involved in any kind of marriage counseling conversation and I've only heard one side of the story, no matter how unjust it seems, I gotta keep telling myself, John, you've only heard one side of the story. 00:29:07.465 --> 00:29:08.932 You've only heard one side of the story. 00:29:08.932 --> 00:29:10.732 I got to say it to myself a million times. 00:29:10.732 --> 00:29:11.965 Wait till you hear the other side. 00:29:11.965 --> 00:29:16.833 Because there's always, always, always another side to the story. 00:29:17.133 --> 00:29:22.000 And sometimes you hear both sides and you're like, are these two even in the same universe? 00:29:22.133 --> 00:29:25.232 I'm hearing two stories that are so completely contradictory. 00:29:25.232 --> 00:29:28.066 Have they ever even spoken to each other? 00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:30.732 Other times you hear both sides and you go, I can see the middle. 00:29:30.732 --> 00:29:32.833 I can see how they're seeing this differently. 00:29:32.833 --> 00:29:35.633 But don't go just spouting off judgment right away. 00:29:36.732 --> 00:29:41.965 You want to practice thoughtfulness and care and take the time it takes. 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:44.700 The fool just wants to rush to judgment. 00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:45.665 I got it all figured out. 00:29:45.665 --> 00:29:48.465 Here's what I've seen. I know. 00:29:48.465 --> 00:29:51.465 We're called to be thoughtful. 00:29:51.566 --> 00:29:54.833 Now, letter H-- honest. 00:29:55.165 --> 00:29:56.000 Look at verse four. 00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:01.900 The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, which means they're hidden deep waters. 00:30:01.900 --> 00:30:04.932 You got to drill down to find them, to get to the well. 00:30:04.932 --> 00:30:06.500 They're hard to get to. 00:30:06.500 --> 00:30:08.932 That's how our words are. 00:30:08.932 --> 00:30:16.965 But the wise, the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook. 00:30:17.165 --> 00:30:21.365 The words of the wise give life easily and often. 00:30:21.665 --> 00:30:28.066 You can come to them and expect that the bubbling brook, the life giving water, will be there. 00:30:28.333 --> 00:30:29.932 And those words are honest. 00:30:29.932 --> 00:30:37.833 They're true. They're not-- You know, sometimes people will use flattery to get what they want. 00:30:37.833 --> 00:30:39.032 Those words aren't true. 00:30:39.032 --> 00:30:42.766 Even though they feel nice, they're still not true. 00:30:42.766 --> 00:30:45.000 And you walk away later going, I don't think they meant that. 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:48.000 That was insincere. 00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:56.932 But the person who uses words of wisdom uses words that are honest and even when that's hard to say, that's where apt words comes into play. 00:30:56.932 --> 00:31:06.865 There are times you do have to say things that are hard, that may feel like they're not life giving, but you know, we've got to address this in order to help you grow. 00:31:06.865 --> 00:31:12.099 Now, we don't go around all the time doing that, all the time pointing out people's problems. 00:31:12.099 --> 00:31:16.032 No, people will avoid you as much as they can, if that's who you are. 00:31:17.566 --> 00:31:19.865 Here's a little tip someone shared with me. 00:31:19.865 --> 00:31:25.432 If you do have something to deliver with someone, do it in the context of some encouragement as well. 00:31:25.432 --> 00:31:28.432 And parents, do this with your children. 00:31:28.900 --> 00:31:33.766 In fact, I think our tendency as parents is to highlight all the things our kids are doing wrong a lot of times. 00:31:33.766 --> 00:31:36.032 That's all we see a lot of times. 00:31:36.032 --> 00:31:43.965 And the next time your instinct is to criticize-- this works for parents, this works for employees, bosses, students. This works in marriage. 00:31:43.965 --> 00:31:49.232 The next time your instinct is to first immediately jump to here's what's wrong. 00:31:49.232 --> 00:31:54.099 Pause and think of five things you can encourage them with. 00:31:54.099 --> 00:31:56.032 Maybe you can't get through all five. 00:31:56.032 --> 00:32:05.232 Maybe you don't think of five, but don't you like it a lot better when someone comes up to you and go, man, when you did that, I saw this in you. 00:32:05.232 --> 00:32:06.400 I saw that you cared. 00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:17.032 I saw that you were loving this person. I saw-- but can I just point out one thing I think might have made that a little stronger? 00:32:17.032 --> 00:32:18.766 I'm ready to hear that now. 00:32:18.766 --> 00:32:21.232 Now, if you start with that, I'm not even listening. 00:32:21.232 --> 00:32:21.532 Probably. 00:32:21.532 --> 00:32:24.532 Unfortunately. 00:32:25.032 --> 00:32:28.333 But our words are called to be honest and to be true. And here's why. 00:32:28.333 --> 00:32:29.700 We've looked at these verses already. 00:32:29.700 --> 00:32:31.099 Proverbs 30 verse five. 00:32:31.099 --> 00:32:34.099 Every word of God proves true. 00:32:34.500 --> 00:32:37.732 Our words are called to be true because his words are true. 00:32:37.732 --> 00:32:47.732 Titus one verse two says, God cannot lie, and because we know his words are true and we can trust his words, we're called to mirror that. We're made in his image. 00:32:47.732 --> 00:32:53.665 We're called to use words that honor him in all we do. 00:32:53.665 --> 00:32:58.932 In fact, this is why I think words are so important to God. 00:32:58.932 --> 00:33:04.766 This is why I think so much of the book of Proverbs are focused on our words. 00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:09.633 Think back to the book of Genesis, to the very beginning of words. 00:33:09.932 --> 00:33:14.266 God could have created the world in any manner he wanted, in any way he wanted. 00:33:14.266 --> 00:33:16.266 He could have snapped his fingers. 00:33:16.266 --> 00:33:20.333 He could have stomped his foot like Pastor Kevin would have done to create the world. 00:33:20.333 --> 00:33:22.532 He could have danced. 00:33:22.532 --> 00:33:24.266 He could have done anything to create the world. 00:33:24.266 --> 00:33:27.266 And what did he do? 00:33:27.633 --> 00:33:29.732 What did he do? 00:33:29.732 --> 00:33:30.965 He spoke. 00:33:30.965 --> 00:33:33.965 Let there be light. 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:36.299 He spoke the world into existence. 00:33:36.299 --> 00:33:39.299 He, he spoke you into existence. 00:33:39.932 --> 00:33:43.232 He used words to literally give life to the world. 00:33:43.232 --> 00:33:45.532 There is something about the spoken word. 00:33:45.532 --> 00:33:49.099 And by the way, he gave us that ability too. Isn’t that incredible? 00:33:49.099 --> 00:33:51.365 The very power he used to create the world. 00:33:51.365 --> 00:33:52.932 He gave us that ability. 00:33:52.932 --> 00:33:54.000 It looks a little different. 00:33:56.032 --> 00:34:01.365 But you've had life giving words given to you, and it's given you life. 00:34:01.365 --> 00:34:05.566 Not only that, we are called to use our words to give eternal life. 00:34:05.566 --> 00:34:06.532 Romans chapter ten. 00:34:06.532 --> 00:34:09.199 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you will be saved. 00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:13.132 It also says in the same passage, how will they know if they do not hear? 00:34:13.132 --> 00:34:17.800 We're called to tell others with words about Jesus. 00:34:18.699 --> 00:34:22.199 He's given us the life giving power, eternal life giving power. 00:34:22.199 --> 00:34:28.266 Now I want to end by giving you just one practical way to drive this home. 00:34:28.266 --> 00:34:34.166 Because every one of us in here, and I gotta to tell you, as I'm studying this, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed going, have I ever said anything right in my life? 00:34:35.500 --> 00:34:35.699 Right? 00:34:35.699 --> 00:34:37.965 There's so many ways we misuse our words. 00:34:37.965 --> 00:34:40.733 It can be overwhelming. 00:34:40.733 --> 00:34:43.900 Just pick one thing from this list that you read today. 00:34:43.900 --> 00:34:47.132 We're going to do this in a really practical way. 00:34:47.132 --> 00:34:49.532 I want you to turn to First Corinthians 13. 00:34:49.532 --> 00:34:53.599 I don't have the page number on the screen or anything, so you may have to look around and ask around to find it. 00:34:53.599 --> 00:34:55.266 If you don't know where First Corinthians is. 00:34:55.266 --> 00:35:03.766 First Corinthians in the New Testament, First Corinthians 13, you-- if you don't know what that is, you've probably heard it before if you've been to a wedding. 00:35:03.766 --> 00:35:07.365 That's the love passage, the section on love that gets read at weddings. 00:35:07.365 --> 00:35:14.333 And we all love to hear because it's lovey dovey and we're at a wedding and there's young love and there's a couple smiling and hugging and... 00:35:14.333 --> 00:35:15.666 But that's not why Paul wrote it. 00:35:15.666 --> 00:35:17.132 He wasn't at a wedding when he wrote it. 00:35:18.532 --> 00:35:22.699 He was writing to the Corinthians, who were deeply divided at this time. 00:35:22.699 --> 00:35:27.666 And specifically they were divided about the use of their words. 00:35:27.666 --> 00:35:30.666 In fact, look at verse one, chapter 13. 00:35:31.266 --> 00:35:39.965 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 00:35:42.365 --> 00:35:48.699 The context here is spiritual gifts, and they were deeply divided about the spiritual gift of tongues. 00:35:48.699 --> 00:35:50.733 And here's the crazy part. 00:35:50.733 --> 00:35:53.733 That gift was meant to unify, not divide. 00:35:54.333 --> 00:35:56.000 It's no coincidence that we're talking about this. 00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:01.400 And today is Pentecost Sunday, because Pentecost was a reversal of what happened at the Tower of Babel. 00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:07.266 The Tower of Babel, God came to earth and he divided people because they were going their own way, making a great name for themselves. 00:36:07.266 --> 00:36:11.766 He divided humanity, and Pentecost was the reversal of that. 00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:20.432 I'm going to unify people in the spirit, and here they are deeply divided over really a secondary thing. 00:36:21.632 --> 00:36:29.032 And so Paul has to come to them and say, here's what love should look like, and I'm going to read this, and I've seen this done before. 00:36:29.032 --> 00:36:30.199 I didn't come up with this. 00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:31.365 A friend of mine showed me this. 00:36:31.365 --> 00:36:33.900 He uses this in marriage counseling. 00:36:33.900 --> 00:36:37.365 I'm going to read this and hear me out. 00:36:37.365 --> 00:36:46.166 I'm not trying to replace love with myself, but I'm going to replace the word love with my name as I read, and I want you to do the same in your head. 00:36:46.166 --> 00:36:47.932 We're not replacing ourself with love. 00:36:47.932 --> 00:36:52.599 We're asking, do I live up to what it says to be loving? 00:36:53.632 --> 00:36:56.632 So look down here at verse four. 00:36:56.733 --> 00:36:57.733 Love is patient. 00:36:59.733 --> 00:37:02.032 Okay, John is patient. 00:37:02.032 --> 00:37:04.733 Can that be said? Is that true of John? 00:37:04.733 --> 00:37:05.900 You put your own name in. 00:37:05.900 --> 00:37:08.000 Don't come judging me right now, okay? 00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:10.132 Put your own name in. 00:37:10.132 --> 00:37:11.000 John is patient. 00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:13.300 Is John patient? 00:37:13.300 --> 00:37:16.300 Is he kind? 00:37:16.465 --> 00:37:19.432 John does not envy or boast. 00:37:19.432 --> 00:37:22.432 John is not arrogant or rude. 00:37:23.132 --> 00:37:26.132 John does not insist on his own way. 00:37:30.733 --> 00:37:33.733 John is not irritable or resentful. 00:37:34.833 --> 00:37:40.833 John does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. 00:37:40.833 --> 00:37:46.733 John bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things. 00:37:47.166 --> 00:37:49.532 Love never ends. 00:37:49.532 --> 00:37:56.733 When you read through these descriptions of love, just what is one that God pricked you with? 00:37:56.733 --> 00:37:59.733 Man, I need to grow in that. 00:38:00.699 --> 00:38:02.333 I need to grow in my patience. 00:38:02.333 --> 00:38:05.333 I need to grow in not making it about my way. 00:38:05.333 --> 00:38:07.233 I need to not be irritable or resentful. 00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:13.099 Because our words say so much about who we trust in. 00:38:14.065 --> 00:38:16.132 First Corinthians goes on to talk about the perfect. 00:38:16.132 --> 00:38:23.132 When the perfect comes, all things will be made right, and the perfect at the end of the day is Christ. 00:38:23.132 --> 00:38:27.233 And by the way, it's no coincidence that he is called the word. 00:38:27.233 --> 00:38:28.733 In the beginning was the word. 00:38:28.733 --> 00:38:30.365 The word was with God. 00:38:30.365 --> 00:38:32.400 The word was God. 00:38:32.400 --> 00:38:40.565 God cares deeply about our words, and we have the power to give life or to take it. 00:38:40.565 --> 00:38:46.432 I shared in the midweek update this the story of Hershael York, who was interim pastor here when I was in college. 00:38:46.432 --> 00:38:48.833 He preached here a while back. 00:38:48.833 --> 00:39:01.000 He works at Southern Seminary, Dean of Theology there, and I was a college student walking across campus because I love to sneak over there, check out the library, the bookstore. 00:39:01.065 --> 00:39:04.132 And I was just walking across campus and here, here he was. 00:39:04.132 --> 00:39:05.199 And he was walking with a friend. 00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:09.132 And I had gotten to know him because he was interim pastor here, and there was very few people here. 00:39:09.132 --> 00:39:12.666 We could kind of sit just right in this area at the time. 00:39:12.666 --> 00:39:17.833 It was a rough season for the church, and he introduces me to the guy he’s walking with, I don't didn't know who he was. 00:39:17.833 --> 00:39:21.500 I don't remember who he is, but I remember what he said. 00:39:21.500 --> 00:39:24.233 And I think back to all the ways he could’ve introduced me. 00:39:24.233 --> 00:39:30.233 Here's John, he's a college student at our at our church, and, he he's really trying to figure life out, by the way. 00:39:30.233 --> 00:39:31.432 You know, he could have said that. 00:39:31.432 --> 00:39:32.900 That would have been fair. 00:39:32.900 --> 00:39:34.565 John's a young guy. 00:39:34.565 --> 00:39:36.333 He's got a long way to go. 00:39:36.333 --> 00:39:38.233 That would have been fair, too. 00:39:38.233 --> 00:39:38.932 Here's what he said. 00:39:40.065 --> 00:39:41.266 I want you to meet John Majors. 00:39:41.266 --> 00:39:44.532 He's going to be a great preacher someday. 00:39:45.300 --> 00:39:49.199 I thought I had to look around and say, is my dad behind me? 00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:50.932 Is my grandpa behind me? 00:39:50.932 --> 00:39:55.932 You must be talking about some other John Majors, but I walked away from that. 00:39:55.932 --> 00:39:58.300 Here's what I heard from him. 00:39:58.300 --> 00:40:01.300 I believe in you. 00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:05.500 Life giving words. 00:40:05.500 --> 00:40:07.000 You have a choice. 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:10.000 All day long. 00:40:10.032 --> 00:40:13.266 Pray for Christ to give you the ability to move towards a life. 00:40:13.266 --> 00:40:15.965 Let's pray. 00:40:15.965 --> 00:40:20.500 God, we thank you that we can come and worship. 00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:25.565 Thank you for all the effort that has gone into decorating this stage for this week. 00:40:25.565 --> 00:40:31.733 And my prayer this week is life giving words to hundreds of children. 00:40:31.733 --> 00:40:34.365 We don't know what situation everyone's coming from. 00:40:35.333 --> 00:40:45.432 We pray they would leave here at the end of the week full of your word, and it gives them life and hope and joy and peace, abundant and everlasting. 00:40:46.699 --> 00:40:51.432 Give wisdom and grace to our leaders this week. 00:40:52.699 --> 00:41:00.565 My prayer would be right now that each of us would be burdened with one specific word from today. 00:41:00.565 --> 00:41:03.099 Where do I need to grow? 00:41:03.099 --> 00:41:07.432 Peace, not irritable? 00:41:07.432 --> 00:41:09.532 Joy? 00:41:09.532 --> 00:41:11.733 Are my words few or many? 00:41:11.733 --> 00:41:13.900 Are my words divisive or healing? 00:41:13.900 --> 00:41:16.233 Are my words gentle or harsh? 00:41:16.233 --> 00:41:20.432 God, would you impress upon us just one word to work on this week. 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:23.032 Thank you for your word that guides us. 00:41:23.032 --> 00:41:25.199 We love you. Amen.