WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.600 Well, good morning, Valley View. 00:00:02.600 --> 00:00:06.766 It's great to be with you today while we continue in our study of the Book of Proverbs. 00:00:06.766 --> 00:00:09.900 I think today's topic will be relevant to all of us. 00:00:09.900 --> 00:00:22.832 In fact, as I was preparing for today's message, I was reminded of this video many of you may have seen we're not going to replay it because it's kind of been around a while, but it's this thing often referred to as the marshmallow study. 00:00:22.832 --> 00:00:31.033 I don't know if you remember this or have seen this, and it's generally involves a number of kids, ages, young kids 5 to 8. 00:00:31.033 --> 00:00:33.432 They bring them into a room and they set them before a table. 00:00:33.432 --> 00:00:39.566 And right in the middle of that table is just a singular jumbo marshmallow, just right there in the middle of the table. 00:00:39.566 --> 00:00:42.299 And then the adult comes in and says, hey, I've got a deal for you. 00:00:42.299 --> 00:00:45.732 You can go ahead and eat that marshmallow any time you want. 00:00:45.732 --> 00:00:50.500 But if you wait five minutes, I'm going to leave the room. 00:00:50.500 --> 00:00:54.100 If you wait five minutes, if that marshmallow is still there, I'll give you a second one. 00:00:55.299 --> 00:01:02.732 Now, what they're trying to do is to test someone's ability to delay gratification, which is often an indicator of future success. 00:01:02.732 --> 00:01:05.700 Very cruel, in my estimation, to do that to young kids. 00:01:05.700 --> 00:01:08.132 But whatever. 00:01:08.132 --> 00:01:12.200 But if you've seen these videos, you can see the different variety of reactions. 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:17.233 Some kids, they just the marshmallows right there and they're just staring at it the whole time. 00:01:17.233 --> 00:01:18.165 All five minutes. 00:01:18.165 --> 00:01:22.099 They're maybe poking it, looking at it, trying to decide what to do. 00:01:22.099 --> 00:01:25.733 One kid, just as soon as the adult left the room, they just they just turned away from it. 00:01:25.733 --> 00:01:27.632 They wouldn't even look at it. 00:01:27.632 --> 00:01:29.566 Didn't even want to acknowledge it was there. It was. 00:01:29.566 --> 00:01:36.400 It was too much temptation to even acknowledge the presence of that mushroom, mushroom, marshmallow. 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:37.799 Have I been saying mushroom the whole time? 00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:40.266 I hope not. Marshmallow. 00:01:40.266 --> 00:01:42.200 That would be a very different study, right? 00:01:43.266 --> 00:01:46.266 Gosh, marshmallow. 00:01:46.332 --> 00:01:52.332 The one kid though, that really stood out to me was the kid who, as the adult is explaining the exercise, he's already eaten it. 00:01:52.332 --> 00:01:54.400 He's just shoving it down. Yeah. 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:55.433 Keep talking. Go ahead. 00:01:55.433 --> 00:01:56.865 How many of you go? Yeah. That's that. 00:01:56.865 --> 00:01:59.132 That's me as a kid or that's my kid. 00:01:59.132 --> 00:02:01.299 You can relate. Here we go. Come on. 00:02:01.299 --> 00:02:04.033 I don't want to hope for a future marshmallow. 00:02:04.033 --> 00:02:06.299 I got one right here. 00:02:06.299 --> 00:02:10.432 The issue all of them were struggling with that they had to wrestle with. 00:02:10.432 --> 00:02:15.532 And that we're all going to face to in life is the issue of self-control. 00:02:15.765 --> 00:02:17.000 Self-control. 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:20.332 Proverbs speaks a lot about self-control. 00:02:20.699 --> 00:02:22.532 What is self-control? 00:02:22.532 --> 00:02:24.400 How do we gain it? 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:26.300 How does it work in our lives? 00:02:26.300 --> 00:02:27.665 We're going to talk about that today. 00:02:27.665 --> 00:02:31.199 We're going to look all throughout the book of Proverbs at the issue of self-control. 00:02:32.432 --> 00:02:35.500 And we're going to start just by trying to define it a little bit. 00:02:35.500 --> 00:02:36.699 What is self-control? 00:02:36.699 --> 00:02:38.765 I'll give it a little bit of definition. 00:02:38.765 --> 00:02:43.866 And then we're going to look at four key areas in the book of Proverbs that talk about self-control. 00:02:43.866 --> 00:02:54.599 There are many more we're going to focus in on four that show up quite a bit, and then we'll end by looking at four gospel remedies for how we gain self-control. 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:59.332 Turning back to the broader picture of how Scripture gives us direction in self-control. 00:02:59.332 --> 00:03:03.332 So if you didn't get a copy of the notes, you'll want to raise your hand. 00:03:03.332 --> 00:03:10.133 We'll try to get a copy to you. We will also be more often in Proverbs chapter 23. 00:03:10.133 --> 00:03:12.932 So if you have a Bible, turn to Proverbs chapter 23. 00:03:12.932 --> 00:03:18.265 That'll be our anchor passage throughout the day for most of the points, except for the first one. 00:03:18.265 --> 00:03:20.966 That's on page 510 in our church Bibles. 00:03:20.966 --> 00:03:23.532 If you don't have a Bible, we have them out in the lobby. 00:03:23.532 --> 00:03:25.765 Grab one any time, slip out and grab one. 00:03:25.765 --> 00:03:30.733 That's for you to have, for you to be able to turn to at any time to read God's Word. 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:36.233 We're going to start with the letter A on your note outline. 00:03:36.233 --> 00:03:45.032 Here in just a second after we address the issue of what is self-control, how do you define self-control? 00:03:45.032 --> 00:03:47.966 One of the places it shows up in Scripture is in this list. 00:03:47.966 --> 00:03:51.633 You're probably familiar with of the fruit of the Spirit. 00:03:51.633 --> 00:03:57.900 Galatians chapter five lists out a number of different attributes fruit, character qualities of the Spirit. 00:03:57.900 --> 00:04:01.733 If someone is walking in the Spirit, these things should be showing up in our lives. 00:04:01.733 --> 00:04:17.800 Things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and the last one listed is self-control. 00:04:18.565 --> 00:04:28.865 These are attributes that should be showing up in our lives if we are Christians, if we're following in Christ, and if we are growing, they should be showing up more and more every year. 00:04:28.865 --> 00:04:33.966 Self-control should be growing as you're growing as a Christian. 00:04:35.165 --> 00:04:38.865 Now, the hard part of self-control is that it's not easy. 00:04:38.865 --> 00:04:40.466 It doesn't come naturally. 00:04:40.466 --> 00:04:42.833 It's something that we have to develop over time. 00:04:42.833 --> 00:04:47.699 It's something that takes maturity and it's something that's multifaceted. 00:04:47.699 --> 00:04:49.632 There are layers to self-control. 00:04:49.632 --> 00:04:52.233 I think a definition I ran across that's helpful. 00:04:52.233 --> 00:04:53.833 I'm going to read to you. 00:04:53.833 --> 00:05:07.065 Self-control is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior, the ability to regulate, the ability to self-regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior. 00:05:07.065 --> 00:05:11.300 You can see some of the layers to it, but listen to this part of the definition. 00:05:11.300 --> 00:05:15.266 You're able to do this in the face of temptations and impulses. 00:05:16.233 --> 00:05:19.533 So that's where self-control really becomes hard. 00:05:19.533 --> 00:05:24.065 It's easy to have self-control when there's no temptations or impulses, when you have no competing desires. 00:05:25.300 --> 00:05:29.699 But something comes up and you go, I kind of want to do that, but also kind of don't. 00:05:29.699 --> 00:05:32.733 There's two parts of me that are saying, do that, but don't. 00:05:32.733 --> 00:05:40.132 I'm facing a temptation and the impulse, and yet the call is to restrain that for a greater reason. 00:05:40.132 --> 00:05:47.600 I'm setting aside the desire to just follow an impulse right now for a greater good. 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:54.533 If we're growing in Christ, we should be growing in our ability to control ourselves. 00:05:54.533 --> 00:05:57.665 And if not, there's a couple of reasons why that this is important. 00:05:57.665 --> 00:05:59.600 There's a couple of things that are at play. 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:07.266 First, if we aren't able to practice self-control, you basically just become a slave to your impulses. 00:06:07.932 --> 00:06:18.766 All you'll be able to do is to just follow whatever you feel in the moment, to be led along by your feelings in the moment. And that's not really any way to live. 00:06:18.766 --> 00:06:24.966 That's not how we experience life at its fullest and flourishing. 00:06:25.233 --> 00:06:26.733 I was reading as I was preparing for this. 00:06:26.733 --> 00:06:34.033 I was reading a number of ancient philosophers, Greek philosophers, and some of their perspective on self-control. And it was interesting. 00:06:34.033 --> 00:06:40.266 The word they used, or at least it was translating into this word continence. 00:06:40.766 --> 00:06:42.699 Now, we don't often use that word. 00:06:42.699 --> 00:06:44.065 We usually use the opposite of it. 00:06:44.065 --> 00:06:50.233 Incontinence is the word we tend to use more, but of course that fits what we're talking about. 00:06:50.233 --> 00:06:56.300 Someone who is incontinent is not able to control themselves, not able to control their bladder. 00:06:56.766 --> 00:06:59.766 This is why babies wear diapers. 00:07:00.033 --> 00:07:03.033 They haven't learned physical self control yet. 00:07:03.033 --> 00:07:05.565 They have no ability to regulate. 00:07:05.565 --> 00:07:10.165 And so whenever it's time, they just go wherever they are, wherever it is. 00:07:11.132 --> 00:07:16.000 And if you live life that way, you know, that's fine when you're a baby. 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:20.733 But when you get older, barring medical issues, okay, I recognize that that happens too. 00:07:20.733 --> 00:07:28.533 But people aren't going to want to be around you if you live your life that way, both physically but also with your emotions. 00:07:28.533 --> 00:07:29.333 Proverbs 00:07:29.333 --> 00:07:33.733 11 I think, says the fool gives full vent to their anger. 00:07:33.733 --> 00:07:36.733 Anytime I feel something, it's coming out. 00:07:36.733 --> 00:07:38.233 I'm not holding back anything. 00:07:38.233 --> 00:07:42.033 Well, you're not going to experience life to its fullest. 00:07:42.033 --> 00:07:44.466 You're going to be led along only by your impulses. 00:07:44.466 --> 00:07:46.833 You're going to be a slave to your impulses. 00:07:46.833 --> 00:07:51.466 So part of the reason we want to live life with self-control is to not be a slave. 00:07:51.466 --> 00:07:56.699 But here's the other part of it is to live intentionally, to live, to be able to think out ahead. 00:07:58.065 --> 00:08:02.665 You know, I say no to this impulse in the moment so that I can experience a greater thing in the future. 00:08:02.665 --> 00:08:08.665 I say no to the impulse to just buy something in the spur of the moment, because I want to have that money to buy something else in the future. 00:08:08.665 --> 00:08:15.865 I say no to a sexual temptation in the impulse, in the moment, because I want to enjoy greater love in the future. 00:08:15.966 --> 00:08:19.833 The beauty of self-control is that there is a promised, better future through the midst of it. 00:08:19.833 --> 00:08:26.432 I can live life intentionally, not just being led along by everything that's around me. 00:08:26.432 --> 00:08:35.365 In fact, the person who lacks self-control not only becomes a slave to their impulses, they become a slave to their surroundings. 00:08:35.365 --> 00:08:38.066 They become a slave to whatever they're feeding. 00:08:38.066 --> 00:08:42.865 And let me tell you, the social media companies know this, the politicians know this. 00:08:42.865 --> 00:08:49.365 The person who is weak emotionally and lacks self-control can be easily manipulated to do whatever they want you to do. 00:08:51.200 --> 00:09:04.100 And I don't know about you, but I don't want my life to just be a tool for these large social media companies or politicians to just being told to believe and act and however they say is best. 00:09:04.200 --> 00:09:06.399 I want to be led by God's Word. 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:11.399 I want to experience the fullness of life, the flourishing that he has for me. 00:09:12.033 --> 00:09:20.732 And a big piece of that is our ability to control, to regulate emotions, thoughts, behaviors in the face of impulses and temptations. 00:09:20.732 --> 00:09:25.466 Now let's talk about a few specific areas that Proverbs brings up. 00:09:25.466 --> 00:09:27.100 A few that Proverbs recognizes. 00:09:27.100 --> 00:09:29.432 These are common for many people. 00:09:29.432 --> 00:09:36.865 Many of us wrestle in these areas, and the first one here in your notes is letter a. Letter a-- anger. 00:09:39.100 --> 00:09:44.299 Many people struggle to practice self-control when it comes to anger. 00:09:44.299 --> 00:09:54.700 And it's interesting how many times I had this conversation with a friend this week, I thought I was a very self-controlled person. 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:58.399 I thought I was a very calm and patient person. 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:08.765 I've never struggled with anger until I had a three year old, and all of a sudden, all these emotions, all this anger, all this quick temper, and this came out of nowhere. 00:10:08.765 --> 00:10:11.600 I don't know where-- I was like, well, it was there. 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:12.666 It's always been there. 00:10:12.666 --> 00:10:13.600 It was waiting to come out. 00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:15.832 I can't tell you how many times I've had that conversation. 00:10:15.832 --> 00:10:18.066 And I'm sure many of us go, yeah, you're right. 00:10:18.066 --> 00:10:18.899 I don't know. 00:10:18.899 --> 00:10:25.133 Why is it that this little person could bring so much anger out of me, out of seemingly nowhere? 00:10:26.865 --> 00:10:30.566 Look at a few of these verses here on your sheet that Proverbs talks about. 00:10:30.566 --> 00:10:35.566 When it talks about anger, and notice the association it makes between anger and a person, 00:10:35.566 --> 00:10:46.232 29, here on your outline, whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick tempered displays folly. 00:10:46.432 --> 00:10:48.000 18 -- hot tempered. 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:54.966 The hot tempered person stirs up conflict, but one who is patient calms a quarrel. 00:10:56.166 --> 00:10:58.232 11 I already mentioned this. 00:10:58.232 --> 00:11:03.200 Fools give full vent to their rage or to their anger. 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:06.700 But the wise brings calm in the end. 00:11:07.732 --> 00:11:19.066 There is this connection in Proverbs between the angry person, the person who gives themselves over to anger and the fool. 00:11:19.066 --> 00:11:24.966 This is a sign that there is foolishness in our hearts when we are given over too easily to anger. 00:11:24.966 --> 00:11:38.399 In fact, this next line here, this blank you fill in and I heard Tim or read Tim Keller say it this way anger is a gateway drug to many other sins. 00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:39.732 It's an interesting way to say it. 00:11:39.732 --> 00:11:42.166 It's a gateway drug to many other sins. 00:11:42.166 --> 00:11:52.232 It's a gateway sin to many other sins, meaning if you are given over to anger, you're likely that's likely going to lead you into other sins. 00:11:52.232 --> 00:12:02.732 22 here-- it says an angry person stirs up conflict and a hot tempered person commits many sins. 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:07.166 You know, anger often leads you down the path of other sins. 00:12:07.166 --> 00:12:09.033 We see this in James chapter four. 00:12:09.033 --> 00:12:15.633 We're not going to turn there right now, but James chapter four, it talks about this where the source of the quarrels and the fights among you. 00:12:15.633 --> 00:12:17.700 What's at the source of that? 00:12:17.700 --> 00:12:22.265 He says, is it not this that your passions are at war within you? 00:12:22.265 --> 00:12:24.533 That's where it starts the anger, the passion. 00:12:24.533 --> 00:12:25.765 It's warring inside of you. 00:12:25.765 --> 00:12:27.232 But where does that leave? 00:12:27.232 --> 00:12:31.133 You cannot have so you desire and you covet. 00:12:31.133 --> 00:12:34.533 The anger in James 4, the passion in James 4, it leads to covetousness. 00:12:34.533 --> 00:12:36.832 And then when you don't get it, where does it lead? 00:12:36.832 --> 00:12:40.500 He points out, you desire, you do not have, you do not get. 00:12:40.500 --> 00:12:41.500 So you murder. 00:12:42.832 --> 00:12:50.432 The progression there began with the intense desire of the heart that led to covetousness, that led to murder. 00:12:50.432 --> 00:12:52.832 You see the person who is given over to anger. 00:12:52.832 --> 00:12:56.899 Often it leads to many other sins. 00:12:57.332 --> 00:13:00.799 It's a gateway drug towards many other things. 00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:03.466 But here's this other dynamic of the person who's given over to anger. 00:13:03.466 --> 00:13:06.466 11. 00:13:06.633 --> 00:13:16.966 19 -- A man of great wrath will pay the penalty for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. 00:13:17.666 --> 00:13:24.365 The person dominated by anger, dominated by wrath, will pay the penalty of that. 00:13:24.365 --> 00:13:34.899 And oftentimes the natural consequences that come with being the lifestyle of an angry person, being known as an angry person are consequences that you're going to have to face. 00:13:37.100 --> 00:13:50.200 And by the way, let me just pause and say here, as Christians, we don't have the privilege of just saying, well, I'm I'm an angry person. 00:13:50.533 --> 00:13:58.466 We don't have the privilege of being known as an angry person, of just living our life, venting our anger whenever we want. 00:13:58.466 --> 00:14:02.365 As Christians, we're called to not be that. 00:14:02.432 --> 00:14:05.466 And I'm not talking about the reality that we all have struggles. 00:14:05.466 --> 00:14:13.932 Some people struggle more with anger than others, but you should struggle with it, not just give yourself over to it. 00:14:14.566 --> 00:14:36.033 I remember hearing Tommy Nelson say this, he's a pastor I really respect, pastor in Dallas, Texas, and he was speaking to a bunch of college students, and he said, if you guys ever hear of me being kicked out of ministry, not on my own terms, but prematurely because of something I've done, he said it won't be because of sexual sin, which is always a red flag when someone says that, right? 00:14:36.033 --> 00:14:38.133 Oh, you think you're too good for that? 00:14:38.133 --> 00:14:39.432 He was trying to make a different point, though. 00:14:39.432 --> 00:14:41.166 He said it probably won't be because of that. 00:14:41.166 --> 00:14:47.000 It'll probably because I beat some guy to death with a shovel, which is kind of gruesome, to put it that way. 00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:51.000 I don't know why he chose the shovel, but his point being, he knows he's got a temper. 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:56.666 He knows that he could wrestle with something, could switch and flip on him in a second. 00:14:56.666 --> 00:15:01.133 And he really has to be careful to not let that anger take over. 00:15:01.133 --> 00:15:07.899 It's okay to have a struggle and be aware of it, but it's not okay for us to just be like, well, that's that's angry, Jim-Bob. 00:15:07.899 --> 00:15:10.432 And he's a key part of our church, and that's always who he is. 00:15:10.432 --> 00:15:11.466 I hope nobody hear his name. 00:15:11.466 --> 00:15:11.932 Jim Bob. 00:15:11.932 --> 00:15:14.865 I didn't have anybody in particular in mind. 00:15:14.865 --> 00:15:16.666 Do you know what I mean? 00:15:16.666 --> 00:15:19.666 To be given that label. 00:15:20.232 --> 00:15:21.566 We can't be okay with that. 00:15:22.765 --> 00:15:26.332 We can't just give ourselves over to anger. 00:15:27.500 --> 00:15:30.466 What do we do instead? 00:15:30.466 --> 00:15:32.732 Look at chapter 15 here, verse one. 00:15:32.732 --> 00:15:34.533 That's at the bottom of this list. 00:15:34.533 --> 00:15:35.232 Under anger. 00:15:35.232 --> 00:15:38.232 Gentle answer turns away wrath. 00:15:39.166 --> 00:15:42.166 A gentle answer turns away wrath. 00:15:43.365 --> 00:15:50.732 Part of what we do is that we make sure we're not the ones amping things up. 00:15:51.265 --> 00:15:54.232 I'm going to give you an illustration of this. 00:15:54.232 --> 00:15:55.299 Lucas, I'm going to ask you. 00:15:55.299 --> 00:15:57.033 You can just stay right there. 00:15:57.033 --> 00:15:59.066 I didn't ask him about this beforehand. 00:15:59.066 --> 00:16:01.332 I saw Hershel York do this at a pastor's conference. 00:16:01.332 --> 00:16:02.066 Just put up your hand. 00:16:02.066 --> 00:16:04.365 I'm going to put my hand up against yours. Okay? 00:16:04.365 --> 00:16:06.799 I'm putting my hand here, and you're. 00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:08.732 You're pressing back as I press notice. 00:16:08.732 --> 00:16:15.500 I didn't ask him to press back, but as much as I'm pressing, he is meeting my force because that's naturally what you do. 00:16:15.500 --> 00:16:21.633 If someone starts to press on you, you're going to meet that force that they press back on you with the. 00:16:21.633 --> 00:16:24.932 And so don't be the person that amps that up. 00:16:25.100 --> 00:16:33.033 You know, don't be the person that comes into the room and you see the the anger is here and you match it and keep it going. 00:16:33.033 --> 00:16:41.265 And look, parents, this is really important for us because it's so easy when the kid comes in up here to go, oh you're there. 00:16:41.265 --> 00:16:44.133 Well I'm going to bring it here. 00:16:44.133 --> 00:16:49.200 But our call is to be the ones de-escalating to bring it down. 00:16:50.000 --> 00:17:02.533 Part of the way you do this is a soft answer turns away wrath. Control your tone, your voice, your level, but also just take a moment to pray. 00:17:03.332 --> 00:17:05.865 Just pause and pray. 00:17:05.865 --> 00:17:09.900 And you can even say that out loud to another person you're facing an angry situation with. 00:17:09.900 --> 00:17:17.000 Listen, right now I feel like I'm on the verge of becoming very angry, and I don't want to do that. 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:19.599 I feel like I'm about to lose control. 00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:20.665 I don't want to do that. 00:17:20.665 --> 00:17:22.032 I don't want to be that way. 00:17:22.032 --> 00:17:24.299 I don't want to do that to you. 00:17:24.299 --> 00:17:25.099 I'm just going to pause. 00:17:25.099 --> 00:17:25.833 I'm going to leave the room. 00:17:25.833 --> 00:17:26.865 I'm going to pray for a minute. 00:17:26.865 --> 00:17:29.865 I'm going to pray for self-control. 00:17:30.566 --> 00:17:36.633 There's something powerful about taking a moment to pray and ask God to give you self-control. 00:17:37.465 --> 00:17:39.732 And what's at stake for us as Christians. 00:17:39.732 --> 00:17:47.299 It really does point back to the gospel for people to see that there's something different going on in him. 00:17:47.299 --> 00:17:48.965 I thought he would react this way. 00:17:48.965 --> 00:17:52.700 I thought she would match my anger and she didn't. 00:17:54.932 --> 00:18:01.232 Self-control in the area of anger is something we're called to strive for. 00:18:01.232 --> 00:18:04.865 So that's letter A, that's the first letter listed here. 00:18:04.865 --> 00:18:05.932 Now look at this next one. 00:18:05.932 --> 00:18:12.500 Number two, the letter D and G represent drunkenness and gluttony. 00:18:12.500 --> 00:18:16.299 Okay, a lot of nice light topics this morning, by the way. 00:18:16.299 --> 00:18:19.432 These are things that come up in Proverbs often. 00:18:19.432 --> 00:18:21.333 We're going to address this drunkenness and gluttony. 00:18:21.333 --> 00:18:26.000 In fact now if you're in chapter 23 look at verses 19 and 20 and 21. 00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:32.833 Hear my son and be wise and direct your heart in the way. 00:18:33.066 --> 00:18:43.532 Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty and slumber, will clothe them with rags. 00:18:44.232 --> 00:18:46.133 I associate the two together. 00:18:46.133 --> 00:18:52.700 I address the two together, because Proverbs does here the drunken, the the drunk, the glutton. 00:18:52.700 --> 00:18:56.799 The two of them are brought together because they have something in common. 00:18:57.766 --> 00:19:08.432 Both lack self-control and the ability to self-regulate when it comes to consuming food and drink, both are not able to stop when they should. 00:19:08.432 --> 00:19:12.665 Both are not able to say no, but they keep on consuming. 00:19:12.665 --> 00:19:18.266 They keep on taking it in far past where they should. 00:19:18.266 --> 00:19:20.432 Now why is this a problem? 00:19:20.432 --> 00:19:22.833 What's the challenge with that? 00:19:22.833 --> 00:19:26.633 The problem with that is it deadens your senses. 00:19:26.900 --> 00:19:37.833 But as Christians we are called to be alert, engaged, aware, ready to engage with people, to love on people, to show them Christ. 00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:41.099 But if our senses are deadened, we're not able to do that. 00:19:41.099 --> 00:19:44.299 Some of the phrases that are used of how the Christians should be are on your notes here. 00:19:44.299 --> 00:19:48.299 18-- do not be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit. 00:19:49.432 --> 00:19:51.400 The contrast there is beautiful. 00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:56.432 When wine has filled you up, you act differently than you normally would when the Spirit has filled you up. 00:19:56.432 --> 00:19:59.299 Hopefully when I act differently than how I naturally would. 00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:01.900 It's a beautiful contrast in imagery that he uses. 00:20:01.900 --> 00:20:04.900 We want to be filled with the Spirit. 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:05.432 Also, 00:20:05.432 --> 00:20:12.333 7 -- be self-controlled and sober minded for the sake of your prayers. 00:20:12.333 --> 00:20:14.365 It's hard to pray. 00:20:14.365 --> 00:20:15.633 It's already hard enough to pray. 00:20:15.633 --> 00:20:22.799 It's even harder when your senses are deadened by drink and food. 00:20:23.665 --> 00:20:25.665 I think a verse that's been really helpful for me 00:20:25.665 --> 00:20:27.865 12. 00:20:27.865 --> 00:20:33.932 I listed here in your notes all things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. 00:20:33.932 --> 00:20:40.133 All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. 00:20:40.133 --> 00:20:43.133 Now, the reason that verse is important. 00:20:44.465 --> 00:20:54.299 You can't just use what is lawful or not, as your measure of whether something could be should be consumed or not, because part of the reason is the laws change all the time. 00:20:54.299 --> 00:20:58.232 If you lived in Oregon, they made every kind of drug legal. 00:20:59.333 --> 00:21:05.833 Surprisingly, overdose deaths went up dramatically right after doing that. Shocking. 00:21:05.833 --> 00:21:07.465 They've since dialed that back some. 00:21:07.465 --> 00:21:11.200 Oops, that was a mistake. 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:16.432 You can't just go by what the law says is beneficial or legal. 00:21:16.432 --> 00:21:19.665 I mean, it's legal to eat all the toothpaste you want. 00:21:19.665 --> 00:21:22.432 It's legal to eat all the soap you want. 00:21:22.432 --> 00:21:24.032 There's no laws against that. 00:21:24.032 --> 00:21:26.099 It's even legal to eat all the okra you want. 00:21:26.099 --> 00:21:26.566 No laws. 00:21:26.566 --> 00:21:28.165 There should be laws against that. 00:21:29.133 --> 00:21:33.500 That doesn't mean it's good for you or it's right, or that you should. 00:21:34.365 --> 00:21:37.365 Instead, this verse gives us two questions to ask. 00:21:37.365 --> 00:21:40.165 Is it profitable? 00:21:40.165 --> 00:21:41.799 Is it profitable? 00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:47.465 By consuming this, does it profit my body, my life, the people around me? 00:21:47.465 --> 00:21:54.365 But then the other question that I think is so helpful is it likely to master me? 00:21:54.932 --> 00:21:56.833 Is it likely to take me over? 00:21:56.833 --> 00:22:02.432 Is it likely to take control of me in a way that I can no longer say no to it? 00:22:03.833 --> 00:22:06.266 And many drugs are that way. 00:22:06.266 --> 00:22:15.965 This is part of the reason why, as a church, we ask our ordained staff, our elders, our deacons to abstain from alcohol and we don't put that on the whole church. 00:22:15.965 --> 00:22:16.732 Scripture's clear. 00:22:16.732 --> 00:22:18.665 It's not a sin to drink alcohol. 00:22:18.665 --> 00:22:20.299 It is a sin to be drunk. 00:22:21.365 --> 00:22:26.566 But we ask our elders if you're going to step up into the role of leadership, to abstain. 00:22:26.665 --> 00:22:30.066 And part of that is just being aware that we live in a culture. 00:22:30.066 --> 00:22:40.099 And it seems like, especially in this part of town where a lot of people really struggle with alcohol addiction, and we want to do what we can to set a standard of self-control. 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:41.900 It's not connected to the gospel. 00:22:41.900 --> 00:22:45.932 It doesn't mean that they're more spiritual than you for not drinking. 00:22:45.932 --> 00:22:51.165 You see, it's not a gospel issue, but it's a leadership issue. 00:22:51.165 --> 00:22:57.532 And I want to do all we can to serve those around us and hopefully be a model of self-control. 00:22:57.532 --> 00:23:09.932 In one area, there's plenty of other areas where every one of us struggle, but this verse is it likely to master you or not, is so helpful when it comes to the realm. 00:23:09.932 --> 00:23:12.365 Drunkenness. Gluttony. 00:23:12.365 --> 00:23:22.032 We're called to be of sharp sense of self-control mind, so that that opens the door to talk about the gospel with everyone around us. 00:23:22.032 --> 00:23:24.000 All right, so that's number two drunkenness and gluttony. 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:25.799 Now let's look at number three. 00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:29.365 Number three is the realm of sexual sin. 00:23:29.965 --> 00:23:32.232 In fact, look at verse chapter 23. 00:23:32.232 --> 00:23:38.032 Look here at verse 26 because there's a couple of verses here that point to this reality. 00:23:38.032 --> 00:23:40.665 Sexual sin. 00:23:40.665 --> 00:23:45.432 Verse 26, my son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. 00:23:45.432 --> 00:23:47.432 For a prostitute is a deep pit. 00:23:47.432 --> 00:23:50.032 An adulteress is a narrow well. 00:23:50.032 --> 00:23:58.599 She lies in wait like a robber and increases the traitors among mankind. 00:23:58.932 --> 00:24:02.700 Scripture is pretty clear if you look throughout Scripture from the beginning to the end. 00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:08.732 God's pattern for sexuality is one man, one woman for a lifetime. 00:24:08.732 --> 00:24:11.099 That's his design, that's his desire. 00:24:11.099 --> 00:24:18.500 And when that gets broken and messed up and stepped away from, there are consequences to that. 00:24:19.500 --> 00:24:24.833 If we walk away from his design and his pattern, there will be consequences in life. 00:24:24.833 --> 00:24:31.232 And here a father is writing to his son saying, watch out for the adulterous woman. 00:24:31.432 --> 00:24:36.232 Here are some of the consequences of that with the adulterous woman back in verse 27. 00:24:36.232 --> 00:24:39.232 She is a deep pit, a trap. 00:24:40.133 --> 00:24:46.400 She is a narrow well, a confining well that is overwhelming and constricting in a negative way. 00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:55.365 And where this leads, she lies in wait like a robber and increases the traitor, robber, robbery, treachery. 00:24:56.633 --> 00:25:09.066 You know, so many things seem like they will be as fulfilling as anything you could ever imagine in the moment. 00:25:09.066 --> 00:25:11.000 And yet we don't look ahead. 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:16.500 We don't look ahead to some of the consequences the father laid out here. 00:25:16.500 --> 00:25:21.900 The trap, the well, robbery, treachery. 00:25:23.165 --> 00:25:36.865 I remember hearing a story of a of a pastor, he and his choir director had fallen in love with one another, and they were plotting. 00:25:36.865 --> 00:25:41.133 How do we finally find freedom in the love we have for one another? 00:25:41.133 --> 00:25:52.465 Finally experience the love we're meant to have to its fullest and leave behind all the confines of things that are keeping us from experiencing life as we feel it should be. 00:25:52.465 --> 00:25:59.532 Finally, they plotted everything out, set it up so that they could both leave their spouses, leave town, run away together. 00:26:00.732 --> 00:26:01.700 And they did. 00:26:01.700 --> 00:26:04.266 They left town and they're driving away. 00:26:04.266 --> 00:26:08.299 And they're both just in the fullness of the moment, excited about where this is headed. 00:26:08.299 --> 00:26:14.000 Finally, free of all the constraints, finally free to love one another. 00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:27.333 And the next morning, he wakes up in the hotel room on the road that they're headed down, and he realizes, oh, what am I going to do to make money now? 00:26:27.333 --> 00:26:30.232 All I've ever done is be a pastor. 00:26:30.232 --> 00:26:32.965 Who's going to hire me tomorrow? 00:26:32.965 --> 00:26:36.066 Why didn't I really think that part of this through? 00:26:36.066 --> 00:26:43.133 I thought I was moving towards freedom, but in reality, I've become a slave to my impulses. 00:26:46.165 --> 00:26:50.799 When we step away from God's design, there are there are consequences. 00:26:50.799 --> 00:27:00.266 He does know what is best for us, and we are called as Christians to practice sexual self control. 00:27:00.432 --> 00:27:03.099 We are called to look to His Word as our guide. 00:27:05.965 --> 00:27:09.333 And I get, look, we all face temptation in this area. 00:27:09.333 --> 00:27:10.465 We all face challenges. 00:27:10.465 --> 00:27:14.932 We all face sometimes seemingly overwhelming impulses. 00:27:17.232 --> 00:27:19.833 And it can be really hard to say no to those impulses. 00:27:19.833 --> 00:27:23.566 In fact, some would say, why should you say no to those? 00:27:23.566 --> 00:27:25.965 Shouldn't you give yourselves over to those feelings? 00:27:25.965 --> 00:27:29.465 Doesn't that express who you truly are deep down inside? 00:27:29.465 --> 00:27:32.465 Why are you denying who you should be? 00:27:33.900 --> 00:27:35.133 There's an author. 00:27:35.133 --> 00:27:36.000 I love his work. 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:37.365 His name is Sam Albury. He's. 00:27:37.365 --> 00:27:39.633 He's a pastor in Great Britain. 00:27:39.633 --> 00:27:45.066 And he actually is quite open about the fact that he struggles with same sex attraction. 00:27:45.066 --> 00:27:46.532 And yet he's also very clear. 00:27:46.532 --> 00:27:50.333 I've never acted on it, and I know it's against God's Word and I won't. 00:27:50.333 --> 00:27:51.932 I know that's not his best for me. 00:27:51.932 --> 00:27:53.833 I know that's not his plan for me. 00:27:53.833 --> 00:28:00.365 And when people ask him again that comment saying, how dare you would deny your true feelings who you are at your core. 00:28:00.365 --> 00:28:08.732 He says it this way. He says all Christians are called to deny themselves to follow Christ. 00:28:09.700 --> 00:28:11.133 We all are. 00:28:11.133 --> 00:28:12.032 23. 00:28:12.032 --> 00:28:19.066 We've studied that at length, at times, whoever wishes to come after me, deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. 00:28:19.066 --> 00:28:20.965 We're all called to do that. 00:28:20.965 --> 00:28:22.732 And it's true in the realm of sexual sin. 00:28:22.732 --> 00:28:29.700 And when we practice self-control, this is when we experience the fullness that he has for us. 00:28:29.965 --> 00:28:30.232 All right. 00:28:30.232 --> 00:28:31.799 So that's number three. 00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:36.732 And now number four, in fact, what I'm going to do, I think I'm just going to jump over number four. 00:28:36.732 --> 00:28:45.032 It was this whole section at the beginning of chapter 23 about how if you're eating before a ruler, a king, he sets before you his delicacies, put a knife to your throat. 00:28:45.032 --> 00:28:48.732 I love that phrase, that imagery in terms of using self-control. 00:28:48.732 --> 00:28:51.432 If you know you're given over to a great appetite, put a knife to your throat. 00:28:51.432 --> 00:28:52.465 Use some control. 00:28:52.465 --> 00:28:56.665 In certain situations, you've got to be aware there's more at stake than just what is obviously in front of you. 00:28:56.665 --> 00:29:05.365 We're going to skip over all that, but read those verses on your own, because I want to get to these four gospel remedies towards gaining self-control. 00:29:05.365 --> 00:29:08.633 Four gospel remedies towards gaining self-control. 00:29:08.633 --> 00:29:10.965 Number one, find peace in his name. 00:29:10.965 --> 00:29:21.700 Look at verse 17 in chapter 23, let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day. 00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:28.066 In the fear of the Lord is where we are going to find our basis, our strength for self-control. 00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:36.200 Because I hope you're not hearing me say as I'm talking about self-control, that you just got to be stronger, you got to get tougher, you got to try harder. 00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:37.833 And there is some of that. 00:29:37.833 --> 00:29:42.232 But our root for self-control, our basis is the fear of the Lord. 00:29:42.232 --> 00:29:43.799 In fact, look at chapter 18 here. 00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:45.500 It's in your notes. 00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:48.500 The name of the Lord is a strong tower. 00:29:48.700 --> 00:29:57.266 That's where we find our strength in his name, not in, as it says here, a rich man's wealth is his strong city, a high wall in his imagination. 00:29:57.266 --> 00:29:58.965 That's not where our strength is. 00:29:58.965 --> 00:30:02.766 Our strength for self-control is in his name. 00:30:02.766 --> 00:30:04.400 It's in how great he is. 00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:09.465 And I, when in the midst of temptation, I don't flee into myself for that strength. I flee to him. 00:30:10.932 --> 00:30:12.766 I come to his word. 00:30:12.766 --> 00:30:13.833 In fact, that's number two. 00:30:13.833 --> 00:30:16.500 Seek truth. 00:30:16.500 --> 00:30:17.700 Seek truth. 00:30:17.700 --> 00:30:19.400 Look at verse 22. 00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:25.633 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old or young for that matter. 00:30:26.133 --> 00:30:28.099 Buy truth and do not sell it. 00:30:28.099 --> 00:30:33.799 Verse 23, buy truth, do not sell it buy wisdom, instruction and understanding. 00:30:34.465 --> 00:30:44.365 When you're in the midst of struggling with self-control, and you want what you want because you want it, and you don't want anyone to tell you otherwise, you don't want truth in that moment. 00:30:44.365 --> 00:30:47.766 In fact, actually you you're okay with the lie. 00:30:47.932 --> 00:30:52.333 I'm fine with the lie if that helps me move towards the thing I want. 00:30:52.333 --> 00:30:55.732 And that's the moment when you have to move towards truth. 00:30:55.732 --> 00:30:58.232 Truth is where freedom is found. 00:30:59.465 --> 00:31:03.333 Truth is where you will be directed towards self-control. 00:31:03.333 --> 00:31:06.032 The devil wants you to believe lies. 00:31:06.032 --> 00:31:09.032 He is the father of lies. 00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:11.032 Move towards truth. 00:31:11.032 --> 00:31:14.000 In fact, I loved that phrase that we sang in that first song this morning. 00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:15.833 I wrote it down to make sure I didn't forget it. 00:31:15.833 --> 00:31:17.900 I'm forever free. 00:31:17.900 --> 00:31:20.432 I'm not the same. 00:31:20.432 --> 00:31:21.099 You know how many? 00:31:21.099 --> 00:31:27.799 As we've talked about some of these temptations, how many of you could think back to and go, I remember being enslaved to that, but I'm free. 00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:31.432 I'm not perfect, but I've got freedom in that area that had completely enslaved me. 00:31:31.432 --> 00:31:34.200 How many would say that is true of my life? 00:31:34.200 --> 00:31:35.500 Yeah. 00:31:35.500 --> 00:31:38.833 And do you want to go back to that slavery? 00:31:39.865 --> 00:31:41.700 No, no. 00:31:41.700 --> 00:31:44.700 Oh. Pursue truth. 00:31:44.732 --> 00:31:47.532 And then, number three, pray for humility. 00:31:49.165 --> 00:31:50.365 Pray for humility. 00:31:50.365 --> 00:32:00.766 Most mornings I pray first Peter five seven humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you at the proper time, and often pray along these lines. 00:32:00.766 --> 00:32:08.133 God, help me to humble myself before you so that you don't have to, because I don't know about you. 00:32:08.133 --> 00:32:12.432 Self-control is hard, but being disciplined by the Lord is hard. 00:32:12.432 --> 00:32:14.099 Either way, life is going to be hard. 00:32:14.099 --> 00:32:17.365 Which hardness are you going to choose? 00:32:18.333 --> 00:32:20.465 I'd much rather it be in the realm of. 00:32:20.465 --> 00:32:25.766 I've chosen to humble myself under the Lord and to follow his law, rather than him having to discipline me. 00:32:25.766 --> 00:32:26.532 And I. 00:32:26.532 --> 00:32:30.932 I've been down that path to who else has been there where he has had to discipline you. 00:32:30.932 --> 00:32:31.865 And that's no fun. 00:32:34.365 --> 00:32:43.965 Although I'm grateful for his discipline because he disciplines those he loves, he cares enough about you to say, I'm not going to let you keep going down this path. 00:32:43.965 --> 00:32:45.799 Humble yourself before him. 00:32:45.799 --> 00:32:51.266 And then number four, follow Christ's example. 00:32:52.266 --> 00:32:54.299 Follow Christ's example. 00:32:54.299 --> 00:32:56.266 And Psalm 103 is a beautiful section. 00:32:56.266 --> 00:33:01.000 It says, the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love. 00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:04.599 We can be slow to anger because he is slow to anger. 00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:08.833 See, that's why when I want to react and go, you're going to be mean to me. 00:33:08.833 --> 00:33:09.965 You're going to be angry to me. 00:33:09.965 --> 00:33:11.833 Well, I'm going to give it back to you. 00:33:11.833 --> 00:33:14.833 I can know he did not treat me that way. 00:33:15.700 --> 00:33:20.732 He said, as far as the East is from the West, that's how far he has removed our transgressions from us. 00:33:20.732 --> 00:33:23.599 He did not hold that against us. 00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:25.232 He was generous with us. 00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:39.633 And Jesus in Hebrews chapter 12, it said, because of the cross set before him, because of the joy set before him, he was able to endure the cross. 00:33:42.665 --> 00:33:45.333 We can endure the long suffering. 00:33:45.333 --> 00:33:47.465 We can endure the temptations.